Speaking for guys in 20s-30s, I think the need for some kind of culture is the best way to form community. Secular world offers a culture of bars, clubs, and endless influencers advice. I found celebrating major Catholic feasts helps replace that culture. Last year, I organized a group to celebrate Michaelmas (St Michael the Archangel's Feast Day). In the medieval Church, it used to be an autumn version of Christmas with harvest foods, county-fair styled competitions, and celebration. We had a group go to daily Mass, then had a bonfire. We drank autumn ales, gave out St Michael medals/pictures as prizes for competitions, and set up a shrine to St Michael for people to offer petitions. The night ended with us sitting around the bonfire talking about life and discerning Christ's will for us individually. I found festivals like what I described help us celebrate God, and create new traditions with fond memories. This is in turn leads to deeper community.

Hi Keith, I'm a cradle Catholic, but I have (out of politeness) been to friend's Protestant churches now and then. I always go to different parishes within my Diocese because I love the diversity, and there is fellowship at most of them after mass. May I be bold and say something I've noticed: the Catholic church focuses on the worship of our Lord and God; I've felt that I'm attending a "music concert" and a bible study with the Protestant churches.... they seem to want the focus on a stage, not an alter. Hope this doesn't offend someone, but something I've noticed through the years.

I notice that people constantly sit in their same spot every Mass or at Adoration times. It took a year but this weekend at Sunday Mass the same three ladies sat in a pew there was room for me I sat down and we had a great fellowship time after Mass. It was awesome ❤

I used to attend a big Catholic Church where I was not needed because there was already a lot of people there. I really wanted to serve but apart from giving money there was nothing else for me to do. By Divine Providence I was told there was a small parish 15 minutes away from my house. So I went there for the first time, and right after I got in, a nice old lady grabbed me (gently of course) and said: "Can you do one of the readings for the Mass?". At that moment I realized that was the church I was supposed to be part of. Now I don't just go and sit down. I feel really useful. Thank you God.

I was raised Catholic and recently found my way back. Thanks for some great ideas on connecting with people in my parish.

The secret is to realise it's not all about you but the worship of the living God. It involves making yourself small and infinitesimal so God can see you in your humility and exalt you.

Excellent points. When you walk into a Catholic Church, you are in the presence of the living Jesus. The focus at Mass should be on Him - not on us. Catholic fellowship should happen elsewhere and at other times, not at Mass. It's amazing how much you can connect with people just outside the Church after Mass. Many of us will chat for 20 minutes or so and head for coffee afterwards.

"Let God pick your community" some of the best introvert advice. A lot of people will stay away from new people or groups because they're afraid of being accepted. If you can put that in God's hands and allow him to do his work in your life, he will find people groups for you. Always remember that God has solutions we aren't able to conceive. Fear not and have faith. Open your heart pray and watch him work. I say this as a life-long introvert. You probably won't see it right away. but one day you'll look back and see how you worked. Just know your participation is required for this change. God bless you

Really well said. Living the Catholic faith can set one aside and result in being set aside from night club friends or the secular sports team. Joining Catholic volunteer groups can dispose Catholics to meet others. Community is important.

Hi everyone! I’m a very sociable person I am one of the most friendliest people you will ever meet. However, when I go to Holy Mass, I bless myself and begin to focus on my conversation with God. God is who I want to talk to and begin my prayers for everyone. Then I anticipate the moment that I have communion . That is what feeds me! I go to serve not to be served. That is what fills my heart. I experience not just attend Holy Mass

It was perfect for me. Nobody spoke to me at mass for the first 9 months....while i was distrustful and not sure of the faith. As soon as i asked someone about RCIA, everyone started talking to me and asking about me and my family. It was perfect, i wanted it to be real and not about me.

Thank you for this video. I am home after 20 years and the parish I will be part of have much older parishioners . but I will make the best of it. First Jesus and then community. They’re both important. Thank you Nester.

Brother Keith, I have been a catholic just over two years, and some of my greatest struggles have been trying to fit in with my parish. Having been part of numerous charismatic house churches over the years, I have definitely found a stark difference with respect to fellowship and pastoral care.

For the past 2 years I have been a member of a men's prayer group called "Ćwiara" (which translates to "a quarter" (of an hour for God, in our case). Our youngest member is 16, the oldest is over 80. I fall in the middle. Like Keith says: do not limit yourself.

I'm a new Catholic, after 30 years of Sola Scriptura Protestantism. I'm a natural introvert....so I actually LIKE the fact that people don't come over to me and awkwardly start small-talk in the Catholic Church. Not to say I don't want to make friends...but my friendships are deep and I cherish the few that I have. Perhaps in RCIA, when I begin, I will find some folks to engage with me.

Hi Keith. As a cradle catholic and I attend daily Mass my focus each time is, to be with Jesus. In every Catholic Church around the world (I live in New Zealand) Our Blessed Lord is there reposed in the tabernacle in His Body Blood Soul and Divinity….. so I just want to be with Him. We might acknowledge friends and say a whispered greeting but before Mass it’s our time to pray and meditate with God….. it is only after Mass we will greet and make conversation with people especially new people we have not seen before in our parish. Thank you for your posts on KZfaq I enjoy them.

Thank you Keith for this outstanding lesson. God bless you Brother. I am a Deacon in the Archdiocese of Hartford Connecticut. I enjoy your most beautiful talks. Keep up the good work. May Our Lord bless you and your family, and your mission.

This is clearly an issue across many parishes and people have a lot to say about it - their experiences and potential solutions. I hope it's a topic you'll keep revisiting!

This is exactly the thing that drew me to the catholic church. I began accompanying my girlfriend and her family. A process of osmosis...no pressure, no hard sel, no love-bombing...just feeling the love of the eucharist

I’m one of those that comes to mass at different times-to suit my schedule (Saturday Vigil, 7 or 9 a.m on Sunday), and while I come 20-25 minutes early, it is only because I want to prepare myself for the mass and the Holy communion. I want to take time to say the before the mass prayer of St. Ambrose and St. Thomas Aquinas because once the mass starts I’m focused on the liturgy. I wear a veil that covers my peripheral vision, and often do not even know who’s around me. I stay after the mass only to pray the Anima Christi and the thanksgiving prayer of St. Thomas Aquinas because there’s little time after communion. I admit I don’t personally know anyone in my Parish because I don’t make the effort, which is probably selfish of me.

So True Keith So many souls go to Mass and fill Isolated 🙏🏻💙♥️🔥🕊🇦🇺🇺🇸

Totally...finding someone who will talk to the new guy at church is non existent. My personal problem is my parish is 25 minutes away and it's difficult to go back to the parish during the week to participate in things because of my work hours.

I'm nearly 60 years old. I have the Knights of Columbus and my Parish Pro-Life Prayer Team, but as much as I love and value these guys, a can't say I put these in the category of a Community in the convention sense. I wish I could have that, but I just have to offer that up in reparations.

As a potential convert, I have noticed and worried about this. I was just talking with a friend about the challenge yesterday. Thanks so much for this post. It was very timely.

I notice every parish is more active than others. Our priest is always encouraging to get involved and at times have gatherings to get to know each other. Keith, you're right in every mass when you leave. You feel you encounter christ and that is marvelous

Hi Keith, I had never heard/seen you. 20 days ago, your testimony popped on my you tube home page. As driving back from work I heard it in its entirety. Mind blowing! Jesus answered many of my Catholic- Protestant doubts through your testimony ! Also few days ago randomly I bounced at your rosary site - that was just simply wonderful and made my day! My 12 yr old son loves listening to you ! The topics you cover are so simple yet so powerful. May you , your wife & children be greatly blessed so we may come closer to Jesus through more and more of your topics , detail descriptions, and bible content. Love and prayers from Sandiego

Hi teacher! I am 76 Years old, being a Catholic since kindergarten, but falling in love with my gorgeous Church thanks to UTUBE With teachers like you. I find that evangélicas no churches have have that welcoming attitude that we lack. It would be awesome if you could visit our church and give a talk about your experience of getting people to create community. We need IT DESPERATELY! Jesus bless You anoint You!!! You are Christ designe to help us make us better.

The Catholic Mass and Catholicism in general isn’t about community in the same that it is emphasized in the Protestant community. It’s all about the Liturgy of the Word & (most of all) the Liturgy of the Eucharist. I think trying to cater to the addiction to community that many may be bringing with them into the Catholic Church might be a wrong way to go. What is needed in our Church is for people to be catechized on Catholic spirituality. Read the Saints…that’s what their lives were all about and that’s what our lives should be all about as well. No, there’s nothing wrong with getting together with friends and fellowship. But often people come to and crawl back to the Mass because they’re broken and need to meet Jesus where He is (where He only is) in the Mass; it took everything they could muster-up to get there and don’t want people staring at them nor coming up with enthusiastic attitudes trying to get them to join a community. Perhaps they had about as much as they can stand in one of those communities who emphasize that and it just wasn’t doing it for them. Pope Francis said it best: the Church is a hospital for the sinful/sick not a museum for the upright and healthy. Spirituality and a return to it will bring the Church back to Her dominance in the world not more communities. Again, READ the Saints!! I can’t emphasize that enough. It’ll put you in a relationship with God in a way you never thought possible before. Perhaps start with the Interior Castle…changed my life because it helped me get closer to God and made the Mass more powerful than ever before.

I'm a struggling, new cradle Catholic. I still need to take the classes for Catholism, but I'm getting there. This video really helped me...Thank you so much for this explanation of my first experience of going to a Catholic Church. It is all about the Holy Trinity and the whole focus on Them through prayer, reflection and embracing His presence. Thank you and God many blessings upon you...🙏✝️🙏🕊🕊

Let god pick your friends 🤯🤯 … great stuff

I have to say that Keith is so right about the groups forming through same ages. But this summer i decided to volunteer for VBS and met lots of lovely young moms who are my daughters’ ages. It was so great and I am so impressed with them and how holy and generous with their time they are. I thought I would be out of my comfort zone but I had fun!

You hit the nail on the head! If only we had more Catholics like you, our pews would be filled to the brim every service

Our church supports a thrift store/ food pantry, and I started volunteering. This is such a great community.

Good stuff. We need more of this. Thanks, Keith.

I converted to Catholicism from Episcopal in January 2023 and I’m struggling with this issue.

Keith thank you for this talk. You are so right we have to be open to others and be present.

When Masses resumed after the 2020 mess, the initial spacing made me realize that it made sense for me to sit in the middle of the pew. There were rows where they could have some on the left and right edges, plus one or two people in the middle. Plus, it kept me away from the line of people going up for the Eucharist, which minimized my contact and maximized my distancing. But I continued sitting in the middle, since it seems more inviting, as long as people don't assume I am that far in for the sake of holding the spot for a larger group. But most people realize I'm not doing that. If the sides aren't filled by the time Mass begins, it makes it even more inviting for someone arriving late, since they see a gap on the aisle. They are happy to see that.

I agree with you Keith about letting God decide our community.

Amen. Thank you Keith I love your podcast. Catholic is happy to have you. God bless you and your family more abundantly. Amen.

Always great emphasis on Eucharist! You explain that so well!

Grasias señor for people like jou

What I love about the Catholic Church is Jesus is always the star of the show. If any Catholic is walking into Mass thinking they should be, they don’t understand the Lord waiting for them in the Eucharist. Thank you Jesus!

The struggle is real. I've been away from the church. I've been attending a Baptist church for a long time. I occasionally attend mass. After mass people may say hi to the priest but then race to their cars. I grew up Catholic married a Jew. We were married by a Catholic priest and a rabbi. The priest got me the rabbi. So it's a valid marriage. 41 years so far. Its complicated. I'm being drawn back. In my area half the Catholics speak only Spanish.

Great video Keith. Thanks. I agree with you I love that Christ is the center at mass. At the same time maybe I need to start a ministry of welcoming converts or new parishioners or people interested in Catholicism. I’m just not sure how many people there are in that situation at my parish. Also a great way to get involved is looking into the parish ministries and then going to some meetings and getting involved with a ministry or at least meeting with others who are involved in the parish.

This has been a great topic! Catholic small groups are awesome! You get a shout out from A Catholic Wife very frequently! 🙂🙏🙂

Excellent talk 👍 Where I go my family know more people than me than me because I didn't go to mass much for about 20 years, but there are always nice people who are very welcoming. Every different parishes that I have been to have been welcoming. Just enough for me I like to meet new people but there to worship and pray before The Blessed Sacrament.

This was a great video. I'm a convert who's been back in church for a little over half a year. It's certainly different than the Methodist church that always had something going on and being put front and center. I'm now trying to write stuff from my bulletin into my calendar so I can go take part and maybe meet new people. Plus, a lovely older woman stopped to talk to me after mass, so I made a new friend there (it's hard being an introvert lol)!

It is the same in the orthodox church as well. I’m going to love this discussion so needful.

Being early to Mass saying hello to people helps and smiling

Sadly, I am one of those who avoid BECs. For someone like me who is suffering from OCD, BECs just don't work for me! Doesn't give me peace of mind! They will be telling me to do this and that as though they were the experts in the field of OCD! Worst of all, they tell me my Faith is not strong enough! According to Fr. Michael Schmidt, it is evil to tell somebody they are not healed due to the lack of faith! There are way too many judgemental and gossipy people, plain and simple. Truth be told, these are the kinds of people who form the majority of church! So, I make a beeline for my car after every Mass! God have Mercy on me! Love & Prayers from Malaysia 🇲🇾 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻✝️✝️✝️

Unfortunately it’s taken me 3 years to get to gain people’s trust and I’m FRIENDLY. This is my choir group that meets weekly!!I’m sorry Catholics but something needs to change. The Rosary Crew is an exceptional community saying that. Bravo and thanks for this❤

I was feeling down during mass today but this was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.

Thank you so much for your ministry. You are doing so much good.

Thank you so much for this Keith. God bless

Thank you for sharing and was wonderful, I am still learning .

Like always, thank you for the great video!

Timely message 🙏🏽

Hi Keith thank God finally i found your channel!

Great video. Sound and Christ centered recommendations.

This is what I'm having trouble with coming from a Jehova Witness church where everyone knows each other. If it wasn't for these videos I wouldn't even know anything about the Catholic Church because nobody talks to me at mass.

There's an old saying, "A rolling stone gathers no moss." My parish is located about 5 minutes from my home by car. I was just confirmed a new Catholic this past May 28th, coming from the Episcopal Church...we also had parishes in the Episcopal Church and celebrated Holy Eucharist. A "parish" is one's neighborhood or locality, and my Catholic parish is full of people who come from my neighborhood, which I think of as a "village". In the Middle Ages in Europe, there was usually only one parish church in one's village. If you lived in a city, there would be a Cathedral. That's where everyone went to Mass. In my mind, it's best to attend Mass as near to one's home as possible instead of hopping around in other parishes. It's wonderful we can go to Mass anywhere if we're traveling, but dedication to your parish church is dedication to your most local community...and folks you might run into every day. My parish is also a school, so there is always a lot going on there, and lots of activities to join in and ways to serve. I'm looking forward to getting involved there. Btw, I am of the firm belief that a church isn't where I go just for myself. It's a place to stay and pray and serve. If you don't like your priest's homilies, pray for him. If you don't like the predominant politics of the parish, pray for and love everyone unconditionally. God may have something for you to learn from them, and vice versa. If you don't like the liturgy being used, submit to the Bishop and worship Jesus in the Eucharist...period. Choosing a church to attend is not like shopping for a new car. It's about the community where God has placed you.

I learned being Catholic that we don’t look for God in people we find him in the Holy Eucharist Church is a Hospital not a friend zone but we come 1 like the father son and Holy Spirit you fall of the pastor who care we just pray have faith and don’t worry get up and pick your daily cross I go to daily mass helps me in my daily hardship ✝️✝️✝️

Yes brother Keith you don’t really need somebody welcome you at the front door 🚪 it’s more peaceful when you walk in God is waiting for you at the altar the angels already finding you your best seat to meet with God just feel at home and start praying God is listening to you

As a Catholic this is so true I my church has the great adventure Bible study I wish other parishes would do the same

I agree. I'm a cradle catholic but still find it difficult.

super important discussion !

Thanks I appreciate your dowload brother!

This is really a pet peave of mine. As long as I am active and able to be of service to someone in order to build their "mission" , I am most welcome and loved ( for that one hour or whatever the mission is). But I was struck with reality 2 years ago when I got sick and I'm home bound. I've lived as a hermit since. I regularly get calls and invites for various "projects" but when I express that I'm sick I get the lip service "I'll pray for you" . I have a small fellowship, ( one is converting this year ) the others are those who are lost and seeking .( Definitely not Catholic). It's taking everything in me right now to remain Catholic. ( For many reasons) The only thing saving me right now is my personal experience with Jesus and knowing the Catholic Church is the Church he established. In a word I would say the "community" I have seen is superficial. To quote what's been going on in my head Jesus said " I call you friends". I've learned a valuable lesson, Go make a friend instead of superficial soul gatherings.

Could be regional as well. I live in the northeast and had a friend I worked with who moved up from Georgia. I recall a conversation where she expressed disappointment that our northern churches were unfriendly, or at least not as welcoming as Georgia's. I regret not remembering what she said was different. Some parishes have coffee and donuts after a morning Mass and the Sunday bulletin is chock full of activities of prayer groups and organizations that have meetings. But I feel I'm with people all week, at Mass I'm with the Lord, in His house and Presence and I pray (and sing), not socialize. Sometimes Sundays can be distracting and I can enjoy a weekday Mass more, especially during Lent when the atmosphere is even better for praying.

I do mean it as a compliment of Keith's sense of humor: 25:19 "...probably not at the same time" - spoken at the usual agitated (in a good way) manner - a true pearl amongst diamonds.

You da man Keith!

Tanks Keith this stuff is so familiar

Chances are it's going to be different for adults who convert to Catholicism compared to cradle Catholics who attended CCD or even Catholic schools where you make friends and keep in touch with them over the years.

We are a Catholic family but I’m really wanting to get my kids involved in some kind of groups that all these Protestant churches seem to have. But our parish has nothing going on for young kids. I reached out to some other catholic churches around to see if they do, but I have low hope. It sucks, I really wish we could get involved in a youth group or something.

Thanks!

The purpose of the Mass is more important than what we are that’s why we have to enter quiet to the temple and the same way we enter to Mass the same way we left the temple. We can’t even clap during the liturgy.

I just started 3 weeks ago and this was one of my questions why no Sunday school.

It is only in western societies In Africa, people are warm and talk to everyone not like here where people look like they are not happy for a lack of words.

It's very simple "THE LOVE OF MANY HAVE WAXED COLD "

Silently is important to find our soul , a Lot saint found them self going to desert o being alone. In my Catholic community there are many groups, they always invite to join the groups after Mass.

Hand raised! Convert in 22

I noticed as a cradle catholic that my age group is non existent at my local mass.

My RCIA cats are pretty cool. We have 4 ex punk rockers in there and we are starting to get to know each other. I do prefer to be alone when I worship though, daily Mass is my favorite.

I've been in and out of the church because no one even noticed when I've been missing.

We have community in what’s app😂, we talk about some questions that our Protestant brothers make that confuses us, I have learned how to defend my faith.

No wonder 2/3rds of catholics no longer believe in the real presence in the Eucharist Mass is not a social hour.....its a holy sacrifice on the altar. Its extremely off putting that people socialise in front of the tabernacle immediately after mass ends. Want to talk to people?! Go into the vestibule, outside or a parish room. Want community? Be proactive in creating one....be in service to others as Christ commands us to

❤❤❤❤❤

It ain't no concert💫

100%!!❤

Make shawl or small blankets to give to patients at the hospital

The reason for that is we are NOT suppose to talk to each other inside the church at the beginning and end of mass because Jesus is inside the church with the presence of the tabernacle. When we are inside the church, focus should be on the altar and to JESUS. It is disrespect to our Lord Jesus when we go in the church and talk and talk to each other instead of contemplating on our Lord Jesus. We are in church for only a little over an hour and yet we go in and talk to each other, we need to spend that time with Jesus only. We should go outside before we talk to each other. When we are in church concentrate only on our Lord Jesus. There are gatherings that they do outside the church, see the bulletin for that.

Hi keith. Thanks for what you do. I have a question since you were from other denomination did you do a convalidation of marriage? Thanks bec me and my husband were married by the Justice of Peace .

I'm suspicious of love bombing at some Protestant churches . I prefer a cordial chat and smile in a Catholic Church. But after a whille you find your social circle if you want it.. Joining a group helps abd also stay linf back after mass for coffee

Im am Catholic and Catholic has small groups just approach or ask the ushers how to join . .

hey Keith👋👋👋👋👋👋👋

Keith, I’m a cradle Catholic and I attended a lovely parish in my home town. Most of the people were kind but many were so hypocritical and mean about each other. I didn’t get into that with them. We moved provinces and I left the Catholic Church. We have tried a few times now to go back to the Catholic church in our new town where we have two churches. One church is for the “well off” the other is for the “low income” what??? Since when did going to Mass become about our income? Anyways , kids are in Catholic school and I do my rosary etc. Catholics need to do better.

Kieth I seem to make friends more slowly as I age.

They are one of the Fold, the Flock...just another sheep among other sheep.

It’s hard I been back and left again the priest are taking to lots of people and you don’t have a chance to introduce myself.

Hey Keith, do you ever interview atheist? One of the biggest problems that I have with sharing my faith is breaking through the barriers of the thick headedness of an atheist. The minute the word Jesus is mentioned the conversation become sour. Where I work and how isolated it is, I find it’s almost remotely impossible to yield a positive reaction. I told you in the past that I have gotten in trouble for that. Any tips?