Now if only these two morons in this talk understood what you just said, instead of making blanket statements that they are constantly finding themselves in opposition to.

Hey Scooby Mike, thanks so much for your comment, it was incredibly helpful! We are of the same philosophy. We learned the hard way that we should always "Ask before we aid". We said different words than you in the talk, but we are of the same philosophy :). Thanks so much for sharing your story!

Lindsay Munroe when you are young you are idealistic and you want to help. Because of inexperience you don’t always get it right but you learn. Gives these women some credit they learnt pretty quick and acted on it.

Lindsay Munroe

Hey Lindsay, thanks so much for your thoughts. I really appreciate you sharing them :). You're right. Compassion can be a really good thing, we spoke about that in the talk. In fact, we ended by saying that checked compassion can change the world. What we are trying to show is that too often, because of compassion, good intentioned people end up hurting those they are wanting to help. Based off the definition of compassion that comes from Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism, compassion involves an authentic desire to help alleviate someone else's "suffering". That can be soooo good and so helpful, but in countries like Haiti, where I am from, that impulse pushes people to flood the country and help in ways that cripple the Haitian people. I live there half the year, and I see it every day. We decided to be vulnerable and share our lived experience so that hopefully we could provoke people to think about this from a different perspective. Thanks so much Lindsay, for your thoughts. They were helpful :).

@@ceciletarling5229 they sure did. I don't necessarily think it's an issue of them acting on their own, I believe we teach this in school, at home, social media. What their sharing their experience does is open a discussion that maybe we all don't have this quite right, we are all trying to "feel good" using the lives and situations of others at times.

@@bertrhude You bet. Also note my response above to Cecil. Thanks for sharing. It's a learning experience for all of us.

These two are unqualified to speak because they misunderstand such a basic word as _compassion._ The compassion itself is an emotion, not an action. Because these two were too unwise to make a decent decision on how to help, has nothing to do with their level of compassion.

This is why this is a TEDx talk instead of a TED talk. Some TEDx talks are just glorified product vendor pitches (like you would read/hear at an industry conference/trade fair). The talk was mostly good and what they are saying is valuable, but the title is very misleading.

Ashly, I absolutely loved your comment. It has to be one of my favorite :). Thank you so much for taking the time to share. You seem like a super awesome person and I hope to meet you one day! Yes, I agree, the title is provoking and to be completely honest, the title "When Compassion Kills Dignity" OR "Compassion Can Kill Dignity" more accurately depicts our standpoint and what we say. We wanted a literary technique that would hook the audience (online and in person) and make them want to listen even at the expense of them having their defenses up for a bit. We knew that this would challenge one of the foundational building blocks of America and so many faiths (even mine being a Christian), but we thought that the situation in other countries with how we are doing aid is so detrimental, we needed a shock. Some people won't get it, some wont be open minded.... but reading comments like yours shows us that some people will get it. Thanks so much for your words :)

That’s like saying “Bullets and gunpowder are the problem, not wars.”

​@pryan1978 It is not necessarily true at all that paternalism and saviorism "developed from compassion". Maybe compassion plays a role sometimes, but paternalism and saviorism are extensions way beyond compassion. In the same way that violence may sometimes result from emotional pain, but pain does not necessarily lead to violence at all. Pain can be used for empathy or activism instead. Other people have mentioned missionaries in the past. Those missionaries may have called it "compassion" but that is a lie. Forcing natives to convert to your religion and serve your church is paternalism and saviorism, not compassion.

@pryan1978 compassion with misinformation.

Oh I love this discussion chain so much! Smileyface702, thank you for sharing your thoughts! You're right that paternalism and the savior complex is the problem. We actually went into detail about how compassion can be good (and at the end we actually said checked compassion can change the world).... however compassion can easily turn into paternalism and the savior complex. Sadly, it often does. Its the natural progression, in our experience. Thanks so much for your thoughts, they were so good :).

Beautifully put, thank you. True compassion isn't about trying to fix a problem so that we can feel good about ourselves; it's about recognizing and experiencing our shared humanity with others, including our shared pain. It's a place of receptivity. From that openness we are better able to listen to what is actually needed.

...humanity

So well said. Did the compassion that led to women's suffrage or the Civil rights act kill anyone's dignity? There is no "dangerous" side of compassion, because compassion means putting oneself in another's shoes before acting, judging or making a decision, which in the history of self aware beings has NEVER made a situation worse. Compassion is feeling for someone else's humanity. How can that be a danger? In this very same talk the speakers mention the rule of "asking how one can help" before blindly and arrogantly thinking you can solve their problems. The act of asking first is in itself a compassionate act. All of the critiques in this TED talk were about ACTIONS, not the feeling towards a person suffering. That said it's fairly obvious that the title was designed as clickbait, so I suppose in that way, these two young ladies are indeed well on their way to being Oprah. I guess I have to tip my cap to that...

Hey Theresa, thanks so much for your thoughts. I really appreciate you sharing them :). You're right. Compassion can be a really good thing, we spoke about that in the talk. In fact, we ended by saying that checked compassion can change the world. What we are trying to show is that too often, because of compassion, good intentioned people end up hurting those they are wanting to help. Based off the definition of compassion that comes from Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism, compassion involves an authentic desire to help alleviate someone else's "suffering". That can be soooo good and so helpful, but in countries like Haiti, where I am from, that impulse pushes people to flood the country and help in ways that cripple the Haitian people. I live there half the year, and I see it every day. We decided to be vulnerable and share our lived experience so that hopefully we could provoke people to think about this from a different perspective. Thanks so much Theresa, for your thoughts. They were helpful :).

@@thebatonmaster I love your comment. Compassion should be about that shared humanity, but too often it's not. Thats why we decided to share our story. As a Haitian American who lives in Haiti half the year, I've heard this story way too often. The story of Haitian people being hurt by the compassionate impulses of volunteers. We are trying to shed light on a very real problem in the developing world. But you're right, compassion can be a beautiful thing when it is examined (which was our premise in the short talk).

Jonathan Ryals EXACTLY!!! 🌸🦋

Well said

Jonathan, wow. I do agree with you that we should not impose our compassion. Thats why we say when we "check" our compassion, we could really change the world. Thanks so much for your feedback!

Hey Inderjeet! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts! You're right, compassion and pity are very interrelated. They are synonyms for a reason :). The definition of compassion we have used comes from Stanfords Center for Compassion and Altruism. It's also triangulated with other widely used definitions of compassion. The heart of what we were going after (in an incredibly short talk, hahah), is kinda what you're hitting on. The lines are often blurred between compassion and pity. If we don't check our compassion, it easy warps into something that hurts people we are trying to help. We did clarify a few times that compassion can be good, but too often when we dont put it in "check", it can become dangerous. As a Haitian American who lives half the year in Haiti and who has traved to over 30 countries just to learn from vulnerable populations, I've seen how harmful compassionate impulses can be. Good people, with beautiful hearts, and the best of intentions follow their compassion and try to help vulnerable communities. Unfortunately, these communities are left hurting and the compassionate giver has returned back to their home. Compassion CAN be so dangerous. Thank you so much for your thoughts, they were super helpful in helping me process.

Great people such as nobel peace prize winner the Dalai lama have worked their entire lives to uplift values such as compassion in minds and hearts of humanity. For that matter even the stanford center you mentioned, its foundation stone was laid by him. Compassion is always advocated with wisdom. Happy, joyful, elated etc are also synonyms for the laity but an erudite scholar certainly knows the difference. Peace.

@@inderjeetkaur2779 I respectfully disagree. Compassion isn't always good. Heres the thing, compassion is the emotional response we have when we perceive suffering and it involves an authentic desire to help alleviate that suffering. Compassion is an emotional response, it is not immune to a lack of wisdom. No definition of compassion is accompanied with a expose on wisdom. They are two different virtues. Just because you're compassionate, doesn't mean you are actually alleviating someones suffering. Compassion is a beautiful virtue, but sometimes we need more than compassion. We need wisdom and strategy. We never said to get rid of compassion... but simply, examine your compassion. Examine the impact of your compassion on those you are trying to help. If you watched the whole talk youd see I actually ended by saying that examined compassion can change the world. I'm trying to emphasize that compassion that is examined is one of the most powerful things in this world. Im also emphasizing that we have not done a good job at looking at the unintended negative consequences of our emotional responses to suffering.

@@bertrhude again you are missing the point here and I will reiterate. Compassion is predicated on wisdom. Ultimate compassion arises from the wisdom of interdependence of all things where the interconnections become crystal clear. Therefore one can see where those interconnections need tweaking and skillful adjustment, and if need be a person of extraordinary compassion lays down their own life if in their mind it's for the greater good. It's far from an "emotional response" rather much calculated wise response without selfish concern if the odds tip in the favour of LASTING greater good even at expense of self. I recommend that you read some books on compassion and wisdom of emptiness. Bodhicharyavatara-The way of the bodhisattva by shantideva would be a good start. It's one of the oldest and finest works on compassion before even the english language, dictionaries for which you are referencing to support your claim, even came into existence. If you are speaking on compassion then you have to research the body of works that have been done on it. Peace

​@@inderjeetkaur2779 most widely accepted definitions of compassion do not entail wisdom. Compassion and wisdom are two different constructs. Yes, philosopher Ken Wilber would argue that "true compassion" includes wisdom, but that is not the widely accepted or practiced compassion. There is compassion without wisdom, and thats what I am hitting on. That is why we emphasized that "examined compassion" or Ken would argue, "real compassion" can change the world.

Hey Insight of the Ages, thanks so much for your thoughts! I really appreciate you sharing them :). You're right. Compassion can be a really good thing and I don't think it should be eliminated all together! We spoke about that in the talk. In fact, we ended by saying that checked compassion can change the world. What we are trying to show is that too often, because of compassion, good intentioned people end up hurting those they are wanting to help. Based off the definition of compassion that comes from Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism, compassion involves an authentic desire to help alleviate someone else's "suffering". That can be soooo good and so helpful, but in countries like Haiti, where I am from, that impulse pushes people to flood the country and help in ways that cripple the Haitian people. I live there half the year, and I see it every day. We decided to be vulnerable and share our lived experience so that hopefully we could provoke people to think about this from a different perspective. Thanks so muc for your thoughts. They were helpful :).

So true!!!

Hit the nail on the head 👍

@@ruchishukla2878 that's it 👍

You've got it, my friend! Thats exactly right!

this theory works great for justifying specieism... or maybe we should just ask the pigs what they need to fight back against their murderers

Agreed!

You don't need to "have a feeling". You are quite right about that. Read the comments. Its full of it at this point. No wonder the world if scewed up. If you don't explain something the way each person is ready to hear it, they ignore the goal of the speech and assume you are a hack.

Thank you!

Wow, I am so sorry to hear, K V. You're right... unchecked compassion can really screw people over. Thanks so much for sharing your story.

@@bertrhude Really. It does. If you become over compassionate with your children, they become whiny and meek. Becoming meek does not help you to get far in life.

@@NoobMaster-or2jf You are right, my friend. Such a good reflection!

Thank you so much, Ammon! Your comment made my day!

Not myself. Speech making ability / confidence was OK , but no good grade on content from this former teacher ! Not well researched or thought out ! A popular secular opinion they are repeating here, without apparent research or deep thought !

Thank you so much! I agree. I don't think many viewers listened to the talk. I think because I am pointing out the negative side of something that can be so good (something I say can actually change the world!), people are on the defensive. Just because something is good, doesnt mean we leave it unchecked. Thanks so much, Dark Sand for your thoughts!

@@bertrhude exactly ! And that's why it's so hard to solve this problem. thank you for adressing this !

@@roaaa83 and thank you for the encouragement. It means so much :). Upward and onward, my friend!

Hey Sceptkl, thanks so much for your comment. I agree, hardback dictionaries are super helpful. We actually used one and then triangulated that definition with several others. We landed on the definition you see in the video, which comes from one of the best universities in America - Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism. If you listen another time, you will see that we clarify that compassion can be good, but it can be dangerous when we don't evaluate the actions that follow compassionate impulses.

@@bertrhude hey thanks for your reply, so rarely do i see the presenters respond.

@@bertrhude there is one of my favorite bands "Rush" that has a lyric i think you may appreciate. Time after time we lose site of the way our causes can't see there effects.

@@mwfmtnman, of course, my friend. I care so deeply. I think we can really change the world if we shine light on some of the unintended consequences of our good intentions. Also, I appreciate you taking the time to write and think you deserve my attention! Thanks so much for watching. I appreciate you!

with their way of thinking, they just killed the private school industry of Haiti ...

I respectfully disagree. Some things shouldn't come with a profit margin. If the majority of children in Haiti would only receive an education by public means, educating and improving the quality of education would not "kill the private school industry" (especially since private schools would only be available to those who had the means and financial resources to access a specialized education). Private schools have an inherently exclusive audience, one which wouldn't be threatened by those who couldn't pay for it anyway. Training teachers and giving them professional development resources can only help those whose only access to education is a public option. These markets don't overlap.

4@@ryangalloway2167

Thank you so much for the comment, Scott! It means a lot. I agree, I wish people would watch the whole thing like you did :). Its hitting a nerve, but at least there is discussion that is happening about this topic! Maybe it will result in vulnerable communities really being helped, and good intentioned, beautiful hearted people examining their compassionate impulses. Thanks for sharing!!

It can! When we examine its impact on those around us, like what the video said!

Wow, thank you so much for your comment, Fedelle Dort! Me too!

This was a weird Ted talk.

Thank you so much, my friend!!!!

Danqing Dai, thanks so much for watching our video and commenting :). I really appreciate your comments! You're right. Compassion can be a really good thing, we spoke about that in the talk. In fact, we ended by saying that checked compassion can change the world. What we are trying to show is that too often, because of compassion, good intentioned people end up hurting those they are wanting to help. Based off the definition of compassion that comes from Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism, compassion involves an authentic desire to help alleviate someone else's "suffering". That can be soooo good and so helpful, but in countries like Haiti, where I am from, that impulse pushes people to flood the country and help in ways that cripple the Haitian people. I live there half the year, and I see it every day. We decided to be vulnerable and share our lived experience so that hopefully we could provoke people to think about this from a different perspective. Thanks so much for your thoughts. They were helpful :).

Mai, thank you so much for your comment! Your thoughts are valued and so helpful for me in understanding different view points. In the short talk we did mention that there are appropriate times to give food and clothes and other supplies like that, during a crisis. But when a country is trying to develop, they want independence. They want to get to a place where they will no longer depend on handouts. I think its at the best interest of the giver and the receiver to try to help the receiver out of the situation and fix the system not the symptom. Thanks again, Mai, for your fresh perspective :).

@@bertrhude I agree completely. Thanks for being out there spreading this message.

Thanks for your comment and openness!

LOVE this. Love, love love, love this!

No. You are confused in the same exact way these two are. None of you understands what the word _compassion_ means apparently. If they only understood this one basic word, this talk could have been a good one. Instead it is more regressive propaganda. They are constantly saying compassion is bad, but be compassionate. And no, there are not two types of compassion, there are only poor decisions and better decisions.

Hajra Munir I don’t believe they are confused about the talk. The read the title and never listened to the talk. Those that did in fact listen, have a completely different opinion.

@@RaneandSky yes you are right. But How can people be so careless about this much sensitive topics!

YES!!!!!!!!! YOU get it!!!!

@@bertrhude thanks❤️

Thank you for this comment :). You're right. It should have been obvious to us but it wasnt. Unfortunately, we are not alone in this, there are so many well-intentioned people who just hurt those they aim to help. We shared our very vulnerable story so that we could help others see this perspective and hopefully not repeat our mistakes.

Thank you!!!

I wanna get rich

@@okpalaisraeliyke5810 done

Great words.

@@joybliss9970 thanks

@@Living_Connectedness I believe

I agree !

Well said. I am glad to see some literate commenters here. These speakers are unfit to have had this talk because of their obvious illiteracy.

Ha Phan, thanks so much for your thoughts. I really appreciate you sharing them :). You're right. Compassion can be a really good thing, we spoke about that in the talk. In fact, we ended by saying that checked compassion can change the world. What we are trying to show is that too often, because of compassion, good intentioned people end up hurting those they are wanting to help. Based off the definition of compassion that comes from Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism, compassion involves an authentic desire to help alleviate someone else's "suffering". That can be soooo good and so helpful, but in countries like Haiti, where I am from, that impulse pushes people to flood the country and help in ways that cripple the Haitian people. I live there half the year, and I see it every day. We decided to be vulnerable and share our lived experience so that hopefully we could provoke people to think about this from a different perspective. Thanks so much for your thoughts. They were helpful :).

@@aylbdrmadison1051 thanks for sharing your thoughts. We were honored to share in our second TEDx talk. I hope you will take the time to listen closely to what we are saying. Also, it would be incredibly difficult to complete 6 graduate level degrees (including two phds) being illiterate. We are both quite literate. I think we just have different viewpoints than you, and thats okay :). We can agree to disagree without attacking each other verbally. Thanks for taking the time to watch our video, Aylbdr!

@Brina Owens Thank you for your comment! Yes, I agree, the title is provoking and to be completely honest, the title "When Compassion Kills Dignity" OR "Compassion Can Kill Dignity" more accurately depicts our standpoint and what we say. We wanted a literary technique that would hook the audience (online and in person) and make them want to listen even at the expense of them having their defenses up for a bit. We knew that this would challenge one of the foundational building blocks of America and so many faiths (even mine being a Christian), but we thought that the situation in other countries with how we are doing aid is so detrimental, we needed a shock. Some people won't get it, some wont be open minded.... but some will. Thanks so much for your words :)

Hey Harris! Re-check the video, we talk about crisis situations :)

Facts

Good comment.

Etta, thanks so much for your comment. I love how open minded you are. Says a lot about you as a person :). To clarify, these businessmen did not initiate the communication, we did with the community leaders. As we outlined in the video, they were communicating that the community wanted development, they were not in crisis mode (the earthquake happened more than a year before we got there). This point really hits home for many development scientists who say that our good intentions are creating deep cycles of poverty. We saw it with our own eyes. Give a man a fish, he eats for a day (and becomes crippled and depended on you if you do it over the course of years), BUT teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime (and probably revolutionize the fishing industry). Thanks so much for your comment :)

Hey Cathy! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts! You're right, compassion and pity are very interrelated. They are synonyms for a reason :). The definition of compassion we have used comes from Stanfords Center for Compassion and Altruism. It's also triangulated with other widely used definitions of compassion. The heart of what we were going after (in an incredibly short talk, hahah), is kinda what you're hitting on. The lines are often blurred between compassion and pity. If we don't check our compassion, it easy warps into something that hurts people we are trying to help. We did clarify a few times that compassion can be good, but too often when we dont put it in "check", it can become dangerous. Cathy, thanks for your thoughts, they were super helpful. :)

Hey thanks so much for your thoughts. I really appreciate you sharing them :). You're right. Compassion can be a really good thing, we spoke about that in the talk. In fact, we ended by saying that checked compassion can change the world. What we are trying to show is that too often, because of compassion, good intentioned people end up hurting those they are wanting to help. Based off the definition of compassion that comes from Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism, compassion involves an authentic desire to help alleviate someone else's "suffering". That can be soooo good and so helpful, but in countries like Haiti, where I am from, that impulse pushes people to flood the country and help in ways that cripple the Haitian people. I live there half the year, and I see it every day. We decided to be vulnerable and share our lived experience so that hopefully we could provoke people to think about this from a different perspective. Thanks so much for your thoughts. They were helpful :).

wow, its like you didn't watch the video at all. That's not what they are saying. If someone is at risk, you give. To make it worhtwhile long term, you teach that person how to sustain themselves. You know ... teach the hungry how to fish? Never heard of that?

Silvia Rosa On a broad global level only. To fix the world. If people need water? They will ask you or ask them. County to country with a vision to fix countries the way they actually need to be fixed. If you don’t ask what people need? You won’t know what they “Need”. It’s a very broad concept. On a global level, these women, may their vision work. My Mom doesn’t get it either, It takes great self reflection? To get this concept. Try watching this again and try listening in a different way. I hope this helps. 🌸🦋

Humstuck It takes great self reflection to get to a place where she can understand. She needs to learn. Not to be put down. Give her time. 🙏🌼🦋

Silvia Rosa Yes Sylvia. 🌸

@@Humstuck thank you for clarifying! You get it ;)

Hey thanks so much for your thoughts. I really appreciate you sharing them :). You're right. Compassion can be a really good thing, we spoke about that in the talk. In fact, we ended by saying that checked compassion can change the world. What we are trying to show is that too often, because of compassion, good intentioned people end up hurting those they are wanting to help. Based off the definition of compassion that comes from Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism, compassion involves an authentic desire to help alleviate someone else's "suffering". That can be soooo good and so helpful, but in countries like Haiti, where I am from, that impulse pushes people to flood the country and help in ways that cripple the Haitian people. I live there half the year, and I see it every day. We decided to be vulnerable and share our lived experience so that hopefully we could provoke people to think about this from a different perspective. Thanks so much for your thoughts. They were helpful :).

Title is slightly misleading, I thought it was a good talk tho overall

Thank you for your comment! What we are saying is that we should examine our compassion and make sure we are not hurting those we want to help. Compassion can be a really good thing, we spoke about that in the talk. In fact, we ended by saying that checked compassion can change the world. What we are trying to show is that too often, because of compassion, good intentioned people end up hurting those they are wanting to help. Based off the definition of compassion that comes from Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism, compassion involves an authentic desire to help alleviate someone else's "suffering". That can be soooo good and so helpful, but in countries like Haiti, where I am from, that impulse pushes people to flood the country and help in ways that cripple the Haitian people. I live there half the year, and I see it every day. We decided to be vulnerable and share our lived experience so that hopefully we could provoke people to think about this from a different perspective. Thanks so much for your thoughts. They were helpful :).

Interesting viewpoint. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, MrMowky.

Thanks for the idea! That is an option. We thought through that afterwards, but then saw the business owners would be dependent on us. When we stopped giving them the supplies at a nominal fee, they would be negatively impacted. We decided to go the route of education :)!

Hey Gokul, thanks so much for your thoughts. I really appreciate you sharing them :). You're right. Compassion can be a really good thing, we spoke about that in the talk. In fact, we ended by saying that checked compassion can change the world. What we are trying to show is that too often, because of compassion, good intentioned people end up hurting those they are wanting to help. Based off the definition of compassion that comes from Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism, compassion involves an authentic desire to help alleviate someone else's "suffering". That can be soooo good and so helpful, but in countries like Haiti, where I am from, that impulse pushes people to flood the country and help in ways that cripple the Haitian people. I live there half the year, and I see it every day. We decided to be vulnerable and share our lived experience so that hopefully we could provoke people to think about this from a different perspective. Thanks so much for your thoughts. They were helpful :).

@@bertrhude your idea of embracing the vulnerability and sharing in the lessons was the USP of this Ted talk and you being the Oprah in the limelight! It was pretty amusing to come across an odd effect of your good efforts you both do for others...this insight can help me over so many aspects in life. And thank you for the book recommendations over the talk...will surely be a good read! Go Gators!😀😀💓

Hey! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! They were helpful :) Yes. I agree. Unsustainable actions are often pity or paternalism full blown out. But here's the gag, nobody sets out to have paternalism or a savior complex... we all set out to have more compassion. Compassion is the bedrock of all major religions, its at the the very fabric of American values. Compassion can be SO good, which makes it the unassuming culprit. This talk was meant to encourage good intentioned, beautiful hearted people to think twice about the impact of their compassion. What can start off as an authentic, beautiful desire to help alleviate someone else's hurt can easily morph into paternalism, pity, and a savior complex. Lines easily get blurred. The correlation is there y'all. Years working in Haiti and I've seen in, well intentioned compassionate volunteers hurting those they intend to help all in the name of compassion. Heres the thing, compassion is the emotional response we have when we perceive suffering and it involves an authentic desire to help alleviate that suffering. Compassion is an emotional response, it is not immune to a lack of wisdom. Just because you're compassionate, doesn't mean you are actually alleviating someones suffering. Compassion is a beautiful virtue, but sometimes we need more than compassion. We need wisdom and strategy. We never said to get rid of compassion... but simply, examine your compassion. Examine the impact of your compassion on those you are trying to help.

true

Yeah but that's what most people do. They don't actually think about it. Good job if you are different.

@@Humstuck EXACTLY!!!!!

Hey Alex! Thanks so much for your thoughts. I really appreciate you sharing them :). You're right. Compassion can be a really good thing, we spoke about that in the talk. In fact, we ended by saying that checked compassion can change the world. What we are trying to show is that too often, because of compassion, good intentioned people end up hurting those they are wanting to help. Based off the definition of compassion that comes from Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism, compassion involves an authentic desire to help alleviate someone else's "suffering". That can be soooo good and so helpful, but in countries like Haiti, where I am from, that impulse pushes people to flood the country and help in ways that cripple the Haitian people. I live there half the year, and I see it every day. We decided to be vulnerable and share our lived experience so that hopefully we could provoke people to think about this from a different perspective. Thanks so much for your thoughts. They were helpful :).

No it doesn't! That's a horrible statement and 100% false.

@@Warrior_Resisting_Colonialism Etymology says you're wrong. Sorry dude

@@Warrior_Resisting_Colonialism "Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another's suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering. Compassion is not the same as empathy or altruism, though the concepts are related." It's ok..I know what not knowing something feels like..so..now we both know! 🤗 Compassion

Hey Moonstrukk thanks so much for your thoughts! I really appreciate you sharing them :). You're right. Compassion can be a really good thing, we spoke about that in the talk. In fact, we ended by saying that checked compassion can change the world. What we are trying to show is that too often, because of compassion, good intentioned people end up hurting those they are wanting to help. Based off the definition of compassion that comes from Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism, compassion involves an authentic desire to help alleviate someone else's "suffering". That can be soooo good and so helpful, but in countries like Haiti, where I am from, that impulse pushes people to flood the country and help in ways that cripple the Haitian people. I live there half the year, and I see it every day. We decided to be vulnerable and share our lived experience so that hopefully we could provoke people to think about this from a different perspective. Thanks so much for your thoughts. They were helpful :).

@@bertrhude 🤗

Orwellian!

Thank you for this comment! I will definitely google it!

THANK YOU!!!

Buddhism also teaches that compassion must be accompanied by wisdom

Hey Greg! Thanks so much for your thoughts. I really appreciate you sharing them :). You're right. Compassion can be a really good thing, we spoke about that in the talk. In fact, we ended by saying that checked compassion can change the world. What we are trying to show is that too often, because of compassion, good intentioned people end up hurting those they are wanting to help. Based off the definition of compassion that comes from Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism, compassion involves an authentic desire to help alleviate someone else's "suffering". That can be soooo good and so helpful, but in countries like Haiti, where I am from, that impulse pushes people to flood the country and help in ways that cripple the Haitian people. I live there half the year, and I see it every day. We decided to be vulnerable and share our lived experience so that hopefully we could provoke people to think about this from a different perspective. Thanks so much for your thoughts. They were helpful :).

Bertrhude Albert Thank you for responding and thank you for sharing your testimony and comment it has illuminated my understanding on ‘ compassion ‘ and it is very true that compassion must be accompanied by wisdom. Thank you for your contribution and effort in helping my Haitian people, our Haitian people.:-)

Thank you for your comment :). It was helpful in processing the feedback! I understand what you are saying. Compassion is the emotional response... but it is often times the impetus for charitable work. When someone does a good work, we often say its because of compassion. Although the act in and of itself isnt compassion, it is compassionate and it is made possible because of compassion. I'd argue that compassion is not always a good thing. Blind compassion can hurt people if we don't evaluate what our compassion is compelling us to do. The very nature of compassion lends itself to quick actions that may not be thought out. Compassion can be dangerous if we are not evaluating what it makes us do. Just because someone is compassionate doesn't mean they are immune to hurting people with their compassionate work. Check out some books like Toxic Charity, Killing with Kindness, When Helping Hurts. For decades researchers have been saying the same thing. I think we are too often overlooking the unintended consequences of things that can be so good. Thanks for the dialogue :)

... can change the world :)

@@bertrhude ... until ...

Joe, your comment made my day. Thank you so much!

Hey Som! thanks so much for your thoughts. I really appreciate you sharing them :). You're right. Compassion can be a really good thing, we spoke about that in the talk. In fact, we ended by saying that checked compassion can change the world. What we are trying to show is that too often, because of compassion, good intentioned people end up hurting those they are wanting to help. Based off the definition of compassion that comes from Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism, compassion involves an authentic desire to help alleviate someone else's "suffering". That can be soooo good and so helpful, but in countries like Haiti, where I am from, that impulse pushes people to flood the country and help in ways that cripple the Haitian people. I live there half the year, and I see it every day. We decided to be vulnerable and share our lived experience so that hopefully we could provoke people to think about this from a different perspective. Thanks so much for your thoughts. They were helpful :).

Right, so because they gave clothes away some one could've had compassion and helped the ppl who sold clothes. Its a cycle its not supposed to end.

Clearly, you didn’t comprehend the valuable lessons presented. Too attached to mindless compassion, unable to reflect on its dark side.

@@KenRomeroI agree with you. And l would also say that "Mindless compassion" is NOT compassion. Their definition of "compassion" itself is flawed ! Who said compassion is only a not rationally considered emotional response ?! It is PITY and IGNORANCE that does not consider future overall impact on everyone involved. Also, Compassion does NOT give while thinking they are " heroes", that is ARROGANCE. At the same time, Compassion, IMO, would question WHY it is neccessary to make sure business people can make money. (For example lf the people can AFFORD to buy from merchants right after their short term disaster and if they cannot then who needs more support, the people or the businesses ?! ) I am not saying that is the case here, but it sounds like they again,after the fact, here too, they failed to do more research. Did they actually ask "the people" or the politicians who expressed primary concern for the business owners only ? In all aspects, MORE RESEARCH is clearly needed here and IGNORANCE does not bother to do much RESEARCH ! IMO, that's the problem with this video ! Wrong terms ! "Misguided Compassion" is NOT COMPASSION. lt is more like PITY, ARROGANCE and IGNORANCE !

@@KenRomero agreed :)

Hey thanks so much for your thoughts. I really appreciate you sharing them :). Compassion can be a really good thing, we spoke about that in the talk. In fact, we ended by saying that checked compassion can change the world. What we are trying to show is that too often, because of compassion, good intentioned people end up hurting those they are wanting to help. Based off the definition of compassion that comes from Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism, compassion involves an authentic desire to help alleviate someone else's "suffering". That can be soooo good and so helpful, but in countries like Haiti, where I am from, that impulse pushes people to flood the country and help in ways that cripple the Haitian people. I live there half the year, and I see it every day. We decided to be vulnerable and share our lived experience so that hopefully we could provoke people to think about this from a different perspective. Thanks so much for your thoughts. They were helpful :).

I think their very definition of " compassion" is incorrect. Like you clarified how they choose to RESPOND to their feelings of Compassion is the question. Compassion IS GOOD and ALWAYS good !

Throughout their entire speech they spoke about compassion being the problem so it is not just the title.

Hey Anita! Thanks so much for your thoughts. I really appreciate you sharing them :). You're right. Compassion can be a really good thing, we spoke about that in the talk. In fact, we ended by saying that checked compassion can change the world. What we are trying to show is that too often, because of compassion, good intentioned people end up hurting those they are wanting to help. Based off the definition of compassion that comes from Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism, compassion involves an authentic desire to help alleviate someone else's "suffering". That can be soooo good and so helpful, but in countries like Haiti, where I am from, that impulse pushes people to flood the country and help in ways that cripple the Haitian people. I live there half the year, and I see it every day. We decided to be vulnerable and share our lived experience so that hopefully we could provoke people to think about this from a different perspective. Thanks so much for your thoughts. They were helpful :).

Dear Dr. Bertrhude Albert, hi there! I’m so honored you’ve responded to my comment. I really appreciate your work and vulnerability with sharing your experience! I think some of the things you had to say were very profound and definitely need attention. I agree that when one has the desire to help, they should question how and do their research on what is actually best for the people they are helping. The only thing that bothered me about your lecture was that you kept blaming compassion. Compassion, like you’ve stated, is simply the desire to help alleviate others’ suffering. In your beautiful story, your desire to help was not the problem. Same for all the others that want to help, the desire to help is not the problem. I think it would be more accurate to title your video and base your lecture on “When helping others hurts” This way the focus is on the actions people take which is usually based on lack of knowledge. The problem is actually lack of knowledge, not compassion in my opinion. And the solution is to do your research and to ask how you can help. I strongly disagree that we should check our compassion in this case. I think that Compassion, the desire to help others is needed now more than ever. And doesn’t need to be checked in cases like this. What needs to be checked are the actions you take to help others. I thank you for your thoughts and the time you’ve taken to put yourself out there and speak up, it takes a lot of heart and bravery. Bless!

@@anitachhun4145, you are awesome :). Your answers are filled with such grace and kindness. Thank you, my friend. I can tell you are a pretty incredible human being. Thank you for taking the time to watch and taking the time converse with me. Says a lot about you. You know, I agree with you. There is something so beautiful about compassion. I think my struggle is working in Haiti (and traveling to so many vulnerable communities) and hearing the same thing... Haitians saying that the international world's compassionate impulses are keeping them in deep cycles of economic poverty because we are doing for them what they want to learn how to do for themselves. To be honest, the title could have been "Compassionate Impulses Can Kill Dignity" but we opted to use a jarring hook as a literary device to grab attention and highlight what so many researchers and vulnerable people groups have been saying. Reading your response definitely warmed my heart and had me amening, haha. We didnt emphasize it as much, but I wholeheartedly agree with our last statement "Examined compassion can change the world!". Anita, I hope your week is as bright as you are. Blessings.

Thank you for your comment! The title is provoking and to be completely honest, the title "When Compassion Kills Dignity" OR "Compassion Can Kill Dignity" more accurately depicts our standpoint and what we say. We wanted a literary technique that would hook the audience (online and in person) and make them want to listen even at the expense of them having their defenses up for a bit. We knew that this would challenge one of the foundational building blocks of America and so many faiths (even mine being a Christian), but we thought that the situation in other countries with how we are doing aid is so detrimental, we needed a shock. Some people won't get it, some wont be open minded.... but some will. Thanks so much for your words.

Agreed!!

Got your click tho.

Thank you for your comment! Yes, I agree, the title is provoking and to be completely honest, the title "When Compassion Kills Dignity" OR "Compassion Can Kill Dignity" more accurately depicts our standpoint and what we say. We wanted a literary technique that would hook the audience (online and in person) and make them want to listen even at the expense of them having their defenses up for a bit. We knew that this would challenge one of the foundational building blocks of America and so many faiths (even mine being a Christian), but we thought that the situation in other countries with how we are doing aid is so detrimental, we needed a shock. Some people won't get it, some wont be open minded.... but some will. Thanks so much for your words :)

Ahh, thank you for this suggestion! I think what you are saying goes back to listening to the community! Honestly, the community might say that they dont want clothes all together. I think we are saying the same thing... we should always ask before we aid and see what can really help the community.

@@bertrhude Thank you, I see we are on the same page and I apologise for my initial misunderstanding of your intention. Blessings ✌

Thankfully he recently gave 700,000 people their dignity back be taking them off foodstamps.

@@jonathanryals9934 🙄

Trump2020

Trump 2020

Yes!!!

GO GATORS!

I am sorry you feel that way, but I thank you for watching :). It's always good to hear opposing view points. To clarify, it was not businessmen who convinced us, it was a group of leaders who represented the community and spoke on behalf of the community. Because this community was not ours, it was our duty to listen and respect. So much research supports what they were saying, so we opted to have humility and learn more of what they as a community needed. It made all the difference :).

EXACTLY! Love the example!

Watch the whole video, you may be delightfully surprised.

Best Comment !

Yesss!