Many years of emotional scars. I'm an adult that still suffer from divorced parents. It affects every thing in your life as far as relationships and so on.

Divorced parents took away a “home base” for me. I never felt like I had a place to return to in young adulthood when I REALLY needed a place to go to. And my parents constantly chose their new partners over me in my perspective.

My parents got divorced when I was 12. It was a horrible time and a horrible divorce. Alcohol was involved and I moved about three times. My dad had a new girlfriend who manipulated him in any kind of way possible. My mom had a new boyfriend and all they cared about was drinking. I was stuck in the middle, not feeling being wanted by anymore. At that time I got OCD that I still suffer from. The only one that never abandoned me was my dog, who was always loyal to me. Thinking back, she is probably the reason why I am still here. I still blame myself for leaving her with my mom (though she has taken good care of her) when I moved to my dad, I moved there not because of him but because my friends who were living there. Despite not looking like a fighter, I am one. My grades in school didn‘t drop, it was the opposite and I‘m currently at business school for a masters degree. When I think back I still wonder why I didn‘t kill myself back than and it‘s still amazing that I only suffer from OCD. Life is good now, but I miss that time everybody else calls childhood. I had to grow up in an instant. I find it very difficult to trust people or to love sb. I honestly don‘t really care for love but more about loyalty. I guess that is also a side effect of my experience. I cant’t believe that there are people claiming divorce wouldn’t effect children and they would still continue to live their life as nothing would have happened. That is not the case. I wish it was but it isn‘t. Those scares will never go away. Never. BUT. No matter how bad you feel as a child suffering from divorce, it is getting better. It really is. You might don‘t know it yet, but you‘ll be one of the toughest people out there. Going through so much shit at such a young age makes you tough and toughness isn‘t necessarily a bad thing these days. You might not have the ability to love as other people do but you’ll have other abilities. It makes you stronger. Appreciate what you have become and make the best out of it. It‘s your life and it‘s time to live it! And to the parents out there thinking about divorce: If you really love your child and you value the love of your child given to you, stay together at least until they have become 18 or 20. Don‘t be selfish. You have the responsibility. Be loyal to your children and they’ll be loyal to you. Abandon them and you’ll never be able to fully rebuild that relationship. Sorry for my bad English. It‘s not my native language.

I was an adult with my own children when my parents divorced. I still ache and grieve today, 20 years later.

Divorce is bad every way you look at it when kids are involved. Alot of kids go through depression,get on drugs and become lonely. Some times someone stays in the marriage after being cheated on to keep their kids together. The one that gets cheated on lives for the kids witch is understanding. However if there is abuse such as being beat then get out because there is no excuse for that. It really hurts the kids mentally. Im all for staying together as long as you can to raise your kids, but you also can't live with your spouse if they can't connect with you. All around divorce is bad.

Thank you for this!! I was on the verge of divorcing my wife she is stuck between remaining married or living the single life. 2018 she left me and our three children for another man. I am trying to fight for our marriage after working on my pies for almost one year which i have seen a huge benefit from. I guess for me it came down to i miss the words "i love you" and to be cherished and loved by my spouse. Your video has changed my perspective to think about the children.. I will keep on this journey.

Seriously thank you for this.. I found these videos just recently and it has opened my eyes to the situation I've found myself in. I've also looked into your site and am considering in seeking counseling. I feel other videos don't go into details about these kind of things and only brush the surface of the topic. Its a major relief to find this channel, thank you again..

My father divorced my mother when I was 12 years old and made a new life with another woman. 3 daughters he abandoned. He had a 4th daughter with his new wife and she was the only one who counted. Today, my father lives a very lonely existence and his abandoned daughters do not call or look for him. Grandchildren are growing up without him. It’s called karma.

I witnessed my father choke, kick, beat my mother from the age of five. I prayed to God daily to make my dad leave our house forever. Life would have been a lot better had they divorced. Divorce can be a blessing from God.

There is definitely an identity crisis as a child of divorced parents. I’ve been surprised that I’m going through the same emotional process as an adult as a small child of divorced parents.

In order to understand the effects divorce forces and impose on children, the focuse should be from the child point of view only at some point, in one of the conversations. Otherwise it continues covering and neglecting the actual short term and long term harmful effects on the child. When the conversation has being decided to understand the child, we must stop talking and viewing the effect on the adults. Ignoring the harms imposed on children it’s also abuse on the child. Thank you for your work.

Never put your problems onto your children . they cant handle that kinda stress

Thank you for this video this helps so much to know someone relates

I used to try talking to to few of my friends to vent it out . But the reality is they don't understand not because they don't want to . It difficult for anyone not in our suitation to understand . So it better to not ask advise for those who don't know your situation completely. And sometimes divorce is not a bad thing it stops the negativity through out your life . You get to see better version of your parents . Yes we learn to deal with life seeing our parents . But when parents them self are confused they can not provide those tools to you . You start dealing with various other emotions that outside world can not even understand . But remember when you are learning on your own to deal with life learn with trial and error . And learn the proper thing . Don't make the mistake as your parents did . Just because your parents marriage didn't work out doesn't mean your doesn't . Your marriage will work out cause YOU already know what mistake not to do from your parents . Don't make your parents feel like failure they are not . They are just imprefect .give them love space and respect not advice about their marriage They will heal better .

Thanks for sharing your story Marc and thanks for talking to me over the phone a while back.

My wife who had affair June of 2017 til June 2018 not sure if it’s on going but probably but we are still marriage but she wants to file in April and she also told me divorce will never be any option before we got marriage is telling me that our 3y/o daughter will be fine if we just show her love from both of us... my parents divorce when I was 3y/o and it still affects me. :(

Don't worry I understand your pain of staying in that difficult fights . Tension at home that make you feel it's not going to end and it's out of control . It's okay to feel so . You need to shut it out cause you can't make it better for them it's not in your control . I'll definitely won't ask you to relax and not to worry pratically you can't do it tension at home sometimes distrub schooling , sleeping patterns . It's okay to feel all this .

thank you for your honesty

I am going through this now . It's difficult coz I have to get involved in fights to prevent my little sister from getting hurt . It frustrating most of the time . My relationship outside the world to get hamper . But I realized they are two way to this problem let this control my approach to outside world or I control this thing from not happening to me . I write down all positive things of my family everyday

My parents just announced there getting a divorce they say we’re going to be fine but me and my siblings know we won’t this is going to leave some scares

You need to explain why you were upset at your mom and how she played the part of the divorce,because the parents that had the affair can watch this and excuse their affair by saying oh well my wife played a part of me leaving because I felt I could find something better than where I was

Primal Loss, by Leila Miller is a cathartic read.

My advice to parents considering divorce as a child of divorce is get your children therapy right away to help them navigate their feelings and emotions that they’re too afraid to share with you! They will not tell you truthfully everything that’s going on in their head because there aren’t words they can express that will capture everything they’re feeling. They will do better with help from a professional than to be left alone to deal with their problems caused by your divorce. It’s inevitable whether you like it or not. Your decisions carry lifelong consequences to your kids and they may never recover if you leave them to their own devices. ✌️

Thank you for sharing.

Question: with divorced parents, how does active co-parenting affect the kids? Is there any positives or truthfully negative? Thank you for this.

My husband is going to pay for this with our kids, unfortunately! And he’s gonna deal with God for all the pain he is causing in me

Hello. Member of the SMM course here. Love everything you guys do. At the beginning of this video, Dr. Joe mentions he could share with us loads of research from different sources over many years. It's been a year. How about we get that video?

Its my responsability to take the best care of myself to be the best parent I can be, that may implicate to leave a marriage.

Thank you for sharing so earnestly. God bless x

The ending is great. I have no words. ❤❤❤❤

My parents divorced when I was a child. My mother left when I was two and then again when I was four. They divorced when I was five. This was about 1955 Because my mother had left my father and us my father put me in a nunnery/place for children without homes. I stayed there from Sunday night through Friday night. My dad was working days and my brother was older and in elementary school The after the separation period, American

Direct no frill thoughts. Thank you very much! :-)

hi im on my mothers yt account but im 13 and my parents got adivorced when i was 7 and my parents would argue alot i could always hear them arguing about money my dad never being home and about me my brothers and sister. the night it happened i was coming home from girl guiedes and i walk in the frony door my grandma on my mothers side says "pack all your stuff your never going to see ur father again". i was confused and scared but i dident show it because i dont like showing emotion alot so me my sister and brother go up stairs and pack every thing there was silece all over. my brother came home from a sleep over at a friends house and he found out that my parents were separating he went to the kitchen grabed food then his bike and ran away my mom dident notice till my other brother said mom he ran away. i dont remember my moms reaction but i dont think it was really sad. my dad got home at around 12:00pm and was asking whats going on he called the police because my mom was taking everything. when the police got here they were saying thing that i cant remember because i was only 7 and was tired. so many things were going on i couldent figure out what was going to happen my uncle on my brothers side was helping and my grandma and grandpa on my mothers side i was just so confused and i am the youngest so i knew the least. later my moms holdig me in the kitchen saying "i dont want to loose my babys i dont want to never see them again" she was sitting on the floor crying squeezing me i could bareley breath and i was so scared in that momebt because i could hear the police talking about what could happen to us we could get separated or get put up for adoption and go in seprate familys or go to diffrent parents i got really scared and couldent think and thats most of what happened that night im stil a kid so if you got advice to help me it would be great and now my mom is dating a guy emidiatly after my mom left my dad but my dad never ever has even thought about geting remairied or dating i also still have troudle with the divorce since covid 19 and i havent seen my father for 2 months now :(

Eye opening

so i have had a nasty divorce in my life .idk what to do, its hurt me so bad all i remember is them arguing and hitting.The thing that hurts me the most is my father.when i was doing anything i would look at kids with their dads n wonder why dont i have mine i cant take it all i remember as a boy was being alone at the park no father to play catch or anything a boy should do so i stood to myself and put it aside for years but its finally caught up to me at 14 ive realized its the cause to all my suffering i cry wanting the 1 thing i wanted as a kid,a dad. I dont know how to end it but that will always be at the back of my heart hurting till the day i die i almost took my life the only thing stoping me os that i want my kids when i have if i do have later in life to have a father to call"dad" and teach them how to be men unlike how i had to learn alone it just hurts man it hurts

Question: What did he do about his wedding? Did he invite both his parents there, or just his mom?

My previous question was not answered but from this video l am asking a new one...from the speaker here he says his mom also contributed to his father being the way he was...l believe so .but in my case...my husband tells me...it's not about me but that everybody is doing it....how do l handle this?

Thanks again so needed to hear!😊

As a parent you have to be mentally fit if your not kids know too your smile changes your not as playful as much you work later because you hope to reach home late with as little time as possible to avoid a fight and awkwardness. Your tell me as a parent to stay in something like that????God is good life is a challenge talk to your kids be as honest with them as humanly possible in a respectful way and get out if there's no change...people have lost their lives in things like this.. And I am positive no kid who love their parent would want to see them unhappy and suffering.

This was great thank you

I😢’m going through it all…we are separated but living in the same house….I’ve been in a depressive state of mind because I experienced a lot of death in my family…She cheated on me and she wants out…It’s bad for me…she got resentment towards me she friend zone me and wants a divorce…No options left but to leave

Will sharing this video with my husband who is ready to walk out of our 18 year old marriage with a 13 year old son a pull or push?

I met my ex who was divorce with 3 kids, we lived together and had a baby there were abuse physically and mentally so i decided to walk out for the sake of my daughter who was 3 years. My narcissist ex wanted full custody and the court battles got ugly and I could still see this was affecting my little girl again I made another decision to let my ex have want he wants that's my daughter. Eventually he met a girl 20 years younger than him married her, they have a child alienated my daughter from me. Now he is getting a divorce and wants me back, said my daughter is 10 years and needs a role model. Please advise, my want my daughter but she loves her dad so much.

That is major reason for continuing the marriage i know so many children who become addicted bad things

It affect the children and that while before some people before they get deep into relationships they will ask the partner how is his/her parents and once had divorced they will be cold cause they believed that child will follow his/her footsteps and this is facts

How old was your dad when he died ?, its nice to know your mum was blessed with long life , and pure love from her children despite how your dad treated her. That's really not a nice thing he did and your right people really need to stop the cycle . 😏

这是真的。但是没有办法。到最后也只能这样。愿因有很多。感情没了。还可以怎样。

I am not staying in any relationship where you don't feel welcomed or happy...all the work depends on you and there is no joint effort kids or no kids. Kids will have to deal with challenges one way or the other like we all did and still do...some may work out some won't but the key to me in these things is to always recognize where you are with how you feel and what you can take. And not everyone wants good for you even the one's you consider close... So kids or no kids I love them to death but if I am doing all I can and I it's starting to affect my relationship with my kids I'm gone. We will put the pieces together day by day with the help of God...at least we will have something to do lol..

What about a DV marriage.

But at what point is divorce a necessary evil? Who's to say if the gentleman in the video hadn't gone through a divorce in his family maybe he would have been unfaithful to his future family as well... Lack of consequences for actions.

Would like to see a vid when one parent has turned the kids against the other parent.

As she is a mother of my daughters i don't want to hurt her because my daughter's survival depends on her

They may think they are going to something better...however they should ask God. Read Proverbs 5 & 7!!

But how can you effectively do a job in a situation where there is one sided efforts...you could never as a caring human being and parent be in a toxic situation that will one day change your composure as a parent...It will affect them either way because if you can't function they know that too.

We have already been going threw A separation so why get a Divorce sense he enjoys sleeping with other wemon when I have had basically no body in my life.I am threw with waiting.

Is it a good idea to show this video to an estranged partner?

When Jesus spoke about divorce in Matthew 19, he made it clear that adultery makes divorce allowed, but NOT required. Immediately afterward, children were brought to him to be blessed. Not a coincidence.

If I send this to my husband it would be a PUSH behavior, right? 😢

Karma.

What about grandkids!?

Look divorce is divorce there is no kids after so get real no matter what

My mom abandoned me and my siblings we live with my dad and my grandma i hate my mom

So would you rather see two miserable parents trying to hold it together for the sake of kids?

Story not true??? “They”???😱😱😱