A 9 minute video on how to give an imaginary snail Trauma and then show him sympathy by sending him to some therapy sessions which you can easily afford with the money you made by traumatizing the snail

Faline Snail

There is a third option of immortality. You can’t die of old age, but you can be murdered

For one of the last classes in my college program, I had to write a fiftional creative writing focused on one of a few themes; I chose existentialism, writing about the last living human because they had played a game with death to "win" immortality, and their experience walking a dead, desolate earth; but I decided to include one other life form, something small and insignificant and possibly one of only living things they saw for months; I made it a snail as an in-joke to myself and my friends because this was going on, and my unsuspecting teacher gave me a few extra points for the strong symbolism of the snail.

I love how this idea seems like a goofy little thought experiment, but if you think about it a little it becomes an existential and melancholy experience that would simultaneously be amazing and horrible.

i can’t believe she isn’t wearing the main character shirt, this feels like a violation

*"Don't worry, i won't go too cracked"* Me after eating Escobar's Entire Stash: _"according to my discovery, Snails do not arms"_

The acid in your stomach actually dissolves your stomach, but your stomach quickly rebuilds itself, meaning the snail could never escape the french person.

When I first heard this riddle, my first thought was to just literally lock it in a room. Like you said, snails have no limbs. Making it impossible for them to open the door, or let alone unlock it. After locking it in the room, I would move out of the country.. I wouldn’t have to worry about that snail for a long time. And when they finally find me I would just repeat it.

"here is you you're thinking about *death* not far off from reality I'd assume" thanks faline. thank you very much.

Concept: with your massive amount of wealth, pay someone to pick up the snail and just carry it around. Hell, hire a whole team, dedicated to this snail.

You actually shouldn't drop it off somewhere far far away as if it happens to escape you would be comoletwly unaware and it would eventually find you without notice. Encase it in resin and keep it close. This allows you to both check on it making sure it's always in a spot you know of and also to eventually cut it out of the prison when you inevitably crave death since immortality is more of a curse than a blessing.

I think the scariest kind of immortality is immortality through causality. Like the universe simply won't go down a path that would lead to your death.

"Snails don't not have arms." -Faline Snail 2021

2:11 If the snail is not held at the bottom, it will float to the surface. (Because cement has a high Archimedean force) It is better to use an alloy of glass and ceramics, which is used for the disposal of nuclear waste. Then place it in a mine in a geologically calm zone.

Hire someone to put it in a blender with maximum security.

The snail is a genius, it crawls towards you but it is never stated that it has the intention to kill you. Trap it, speak with it. Befriend it. A genius snail with a billionaire caretaker is a happy snail, cuz every snail knows snails can't have bank accounts.

Faline: "Finally, a worthy opponent" Snail: "Our battle will be legendary" French man: "Why are we still here, just to suffer"

Thank you, Faline- I was crying and this video cheered me up.

As a developement on the cement idea, I suggest replacing it by molten gold (cooled before the snail floats to the top). It could last for millions of years without degrading. If you want to die, you melt the gold and keep it molten until the snail floats on top and let it come to you. I advise against throwing it into the ocean, as salt water is very corrosive and would help the snail escape sooner. With cement that would happen rather quickly, to make it worse, even more so by the extreme conditions of the deep sea. (works for both regenerative and indestructible snail scenarios)

And this, folks, is why we need her to strategise when World War Three breaks out

I feel like everyone else is grossly misjudging how smart snails are and faline-san is the only one who’ll survive this situation Edit: I have been corrected, Faline-Snail

Faline San is awesome and I am now subscribed “This is very, VERY well planned-out research”

i will hire someone to interact with the snail, then it would forget about me

The drawing with the snail jumping out of the person's guts was surprisingly good

plot twist: the snail you originally thought of as the real one is actually just a decoy that was planned by the real snail.

This is the first ever faline video I watched. Thank you faline

I love the energy of this video so much

Real option: Start a foundation that monitors anomalic objects, with the first anomalic object being an immortal snail that always seems to know the location of the founder. Snail Containment Plantation is what I'd call it at first, and probably rename it as we got more anomalies

There's a third variety of immortality: you can be injured, and even dismembered, but you still don't die from these things. It's the worst variety of immortality, in my opinion.

I have never been more invested into a video while eating ice cream

how are you this good at drawing -here i am struggling to draw literally anything 😭

Yes Faline, we need these life-changing answers.

Me when hearing the scenario: "Encase it." Faline: "Encase it in cement." Me: "I approve and subscribe."

I needed this. Why? I'm not sure now, but I know I will 100% need this in the future

Your edits are great

The problem is that everyone assumes that they have access to the snail. That snail is probably a thousand miles away. You have to wait and hope that you notice the snail when it finally gets to you, and if it's super smart then it probably has some sort of plan for surprising you. You can't just plan on doing something to the snail in the event that you find it. You have to plan on how to find the snail first.

As a citizen of France, this video gave me an uncurable phobia of snails. I see them in my sleep paralysis. 🐌🇨🇵

“Here’s you, you’re thinking about…death. Not far off from reality i assume” i didn’t need to be called out like that 😭

In the original question, not only was the snail immortal, but it could also move through walls. So confinement is useless.

Option C: Capture the snail and give it to a snail scientist. Do you have any idea how hype a snail scientist would be to study an immortal snail?

As a French person, I will probably never be able to eat snails again without thinking about this

Faline is a total genius. I can never be able to think as good as her. Change my mind

This is so unhinged I love it.

Also keep in mind the semantics of "If the snail touches you": does it have to be the whole snail or just an atom of the snail? In the first scenario of the eaten snail, snail poo pieces go through the sewer. What if they get partially filtered, clean, end up in your bath tub and touch you? Would that kill you?

“Semen- CEMENT” the words of a wise person

the classic sun in the corner drawing loll

very educational, thank you faline

“Every day I think about the immortal snail” And in that way the snail lives on, it truly is immortal.

I feel like she has me tied up in her basement and she’s telling me how to defeat a snail-

Alternate title: *my intrusive thoughts at 4am*

I am upset that I was unaware of this channel before just now when I looked up "immortal snail" videos and found this.

As an unassuming French person, I accept my part in this plan, even if I end up being eaten from the inside. Oui oui

I like how the biggest part of this problem isn't getting rid of the snail, it's getting rid of the snail in a way that will allow you to actually die some point in the future.

This is more violent than I expected

I see you for the first time and I just want to say that you are so pretty Especially when you talk about the defeat of a snail ✨

For starters, I would never agree to this just because 1 million dollars is not enough to unleash an immortal snail with a mission

Faline… I don’t know if this was on purpose or not, but the fact that you’ve put the snail in the sea is demented lol. It’s immortal but because it’s a snail, as soon as the concrete breaks apart, the snail will be constantly scorched by the salty seawater, unable to die.

The snail is just gonna do that pickle rick thing where he uses rats in the sewers as limbs. Hes also probably gonna learn how to talk with immense technology and hire henchmen

send it to space. space snail.

*Ah, Yes. a normal day for Faline where she plots against an immortal imaginary snail and drop things into the pacific ocean* *BRUHHH* NO WAY, *4K* LIKES WTF *what ya'll doin with yo life lmao* , thenk :')

I love how Faline keeps reminding us that the snail would need years of therapy

All I need to do is ladt another few hundred years until space travel is affordable.

I love this 😂

BAD ENDING: the immortal snail is Theo from Turbo and is capable of running around the race car track at 226 mph

Option 4: Give the snail to the french person as a pet. They'll make sure it never goes too far away!

Now I want to see a video like this but in the perspective of the snail

“How I would defeat the snail” *picks up snail* , *dies*

Option Z: Teach the snail about consent. Once the snail learns that is harassment to touch people when they do not want to be touched, the snail will no longer be a threat to your life. Then, if you ever decide the time to end immortality is now, give the snail consent to give you a cuddle, and voila! Problem solved. Or, alternatively, find a nice volcano and drone drop the little snail into a fun lake of magma.

The snail is immortal, not invulnerable. Just put a salt circle around it.

This is pretty relaxing somehow

at first when i saw the title i thought it said “ how would i eta the immortal snail” but then rereading the title i saw what it was supposed to be

the strategy is immaculate. thank you for sharing your immense knowledge.

The true solution is to befriend the snail. The snail doesn’t want to spend potentially thousands of years being tortured, just be homies with each other :)

Ok but why are her drawings so good tho 😭👽

THIS IS A MASTER PIECE

Faline: *Talks about how she’ll defeat a snail* me: Interesting. *immediately subscribes*

I pay a random person to put the snail in a tempered glass container, inside a tempered glass container. I observe to see how long it takes the snail to chew through the first container. (I expect this to take years) Once I have a decent time estimate I set myself reminders to pay someone to swap the snail into a new container whenever necessary. Decades go by, and my generational wealth starts accumulating. Science progresses, materials improve, I can make containers that don't need to be checked for centuries. I am now unfathomably rich, I own an entire star system with multiple habitable planets, my nemesis is encaged on a moon prison exclusively built for a single purpose. Nothing can kill me now. I feel something sticky on my cheek, I turn around and see my most trusted advisor with the snail in his hand. "Sorry man, he bribed me with a million bucks..."

1:28 "semen.... cement" had my dying 😂

one day i decided to click on a random video of hers (when she had 500k) and now boom why am i addicted

the effort and deliberation that has been put into this plan is more than i have ever put into my schoolwork

There is a possibility that the French person, after absorbing the snail into himself, becomes the snail. Then snail is now faster and has limbs.

when i search immortal snail, this is the content im looking for. not a bunch of reuploaded tiktoks

I thought you could just drop it in latex so that it can only touch you will that layer of latex, which means that you wouldn't die. But you'd have to do that a couple more times. Also, I don't know how efficient a solar panel would be since the snail would try to stay in the shade as much as possible to just survive

"the snail has a million dollars well now i have tWO MILLION" LMAOOO

In this scenario you get: Immortality, $2M (stolen from snail), And a pet snail you can’t actually pet that doubles as an insta-death button. Seems like a win honestly.

I will just run away, investing money until I can send it to the space for infinity, and boom, it will beve be able to come back

This video just got recommended to me lol

there's also a third form of immortality, where you can't die, but you can still sustain injuries and heal normally. You'll still heal like a normal person, but you just cannot die. That also means that parts of you that wouldn't normally regrow (like limbs), just won't. Then the snail would get digested by the frenchman and still stay living and thinking, but just deconstructed into individual molecules. EDIT: hholy shit that's a lot of likes. will my comment be as immortal as the snail?

If the snail is super intelligent, then it understands emotions and can be reasoned with. Simply befriend the snail, go on life-changing adventures together, shape the world to your liking bc you're immortal and have infinite time to become a global power, and seal your friendship's historical legacy with a legendary fist bump once you've had your fill of life. Nobody said you have to be enemies >:)

"semen, C E M E N T" "Drowning in in C E M E N T" 🧐

I remember watching this 2 years ago and this was the first vid I watched of faline and I was like wow this person is a genius now I think she is a genius

The biggest problem in all of this is we won't know which snail is the one trying to kill us

The french person becomes part of the snail. Don’t have people eat it, they might become snail zombies which would be very bad.

If the snail is super intelligent, just become friends with it

It's 2am and instead of sleeping I'm watching a video of how to defeat the immortal snail and to be honest that's a good way to spend my time instead of sleeping

Ok, considering that the average snail intelligent is "really stupid", the snail, that I'll name Bob, is a prodigy among snail community, and if animals are capable of communicating with animals from the same species like in movies, then this make the whole situation a lot more threatening. Let's consider that Bob is a psycopath, his high intelligence made him one, he knows his objective, but being a snail, he knows he doesn't stand a chance in a 1v1 against a human. He needs to prepare. He knows you know about his existence, so he needs to be quick, he gathers a bunch of snail and creates a snail society, being the president, he quickly invest in technology, in the army and in inventing a language to communicate with another snails, in a few years, isolated, Bob would have a society of literate snails, and in another few years, only God knows how much they could've evolved... Airplanes? Boats? Guns? Arms? You know we're I'm going, a snail revolution, and nobody will listen when you say that a snail named Bob is going to conquer the world with his snail army, but why would he only stops on snails? He could use other insects! Teach them snaish (the snail equivalent of english) and BOOM. All the insects in the world are part of it now. You know what's coming. You need to do something about the big snail revolution and you know what is it. Run for president. Considering that the snail society would need a lot of time to occurs, it's time enough for you to win an election, and, that way, investing in fumigators, giving them new weapons to fight against bugs, and when the big snail revolution comes, the human race will be ready.

It would really suck if after being immortal for a long time, you wanted to die, but had to find a snail in a concrete block you dumped in the ocean ages ago.

i like watching this when i’m sorting my minecraft chests

it would be ideal if you could make an enclosure that would erode in a specific amount of time so you could choose how long you want to live