You sound like a compassionate, caring person who chose her words well

That was a professional answer to the topic. Don't see what there is for people to be mad at. I am obese and i know that bigger people have to pay extra for funerals its just common sense.

I have no idea why KZfaq suggested this video, but I'm glad I watched and learned.

Lifting my great grandmas dead weight was hard and she was only 150 lbs. I can’t imagine a 400 lbs person.

When my father passed at home, I swear they sent the smallest funeral home person I'd ever seen. Very short and very thin guy. lol, It wasn't funny at the time and still isn't really... But, I helped move my father from the bedroom, down a narrow hall, and to the gurney. The funeral home guy was most grateful although he was apprehensive at first about letting a family member help. I was a young adult at the time and worked in nursing so assured him I could handle it. My dad was a large man. I looked at it as one of the last things I could do for my dad who had suffered for many years with a debilitating illness. This was back in 1993 and I was under the impression at the time the funeral home didn't have another person available to be called in. Anyway, that's my little story. :)

You do a great job choosing your words while speaking of sensitive issues! I’m sure the families that you serve are very pleased with your candor and professionalism. Thank you for your informative videos.

I have done the funeral of a large deceased many years ago before these double size caskets were readily available. It too extra patience, a lots of creativity and even more flexibility from every person involved… The deceased was a friend and the family were amazingly understanding… It all went off smoothly. Out of respect for the family I wouldn’t mention any of the details. God bless them .

I think that people need to wake up and face reality, too many live in this fantasy world that is all about them. I have noticed as I became more homebound the past couple of years that I also became way more self involved, it is an easy thing to do when you are alone with yourself but the hard reality of this topic is that people are injured dealing with the morbidly obese in medical situations so it makes even more sense that this problem would carry in the final parts in life. (Time to make the self involved note here that I am neither heavy nor was I injured by a heavy person. I do have a friend who works in radiology at the hospital and has been hurt several times over the years by big people wanting to lean on her or expect to be lifted by her even though she is obviously 1/4 of their weight!). To me it is common sense that if you have to build a bigger box, it will cost more. If you have to run your furnace longer, it will cost more. I can't even imagine the logistics and risk of injury involved in moving a 500lb, 600lb or even heavier person and don't see why it has to be fully tippy-toed around. I do apologize because to some I seem unbelievably hard and maybe I am. I just don't understand why we have lost our common sense in America.

It really boggles my mind that family would get upset. Funeral directors are not God. They can only do so much.

I was a paramedic many years ago. We were called to a sad accident where a train had struck a pickup truck and killed both occupants instantly. Interestingly, there were very few cuts, lacerations, etc. Both occupants were obese, one was morbidly so. 4 of us could not lift this one guy up high enough to our gurney, which we had left at its lowest level. I'm not trying to be rude, but when we would put our hands under the body and lift, mountains of 'bulk' would ooze off to both sides of our hands. It was like trying to pick up 400 pounds of jello...with no mold around it. Nobody was laughing. It was a serious issue that eventually took 8 more (12 total!) people to help. We had picked up an obese person before, but in those cases the person could help at least a little bit. Of course there is zero help from a deceased person. These are serious issues that nobody stops to consider.

The more of your videos I’ve viewed the more I’m impressed with your sensitivity and compassion. I haven’t had much experience with funeral directors I hope most are like you

You are wonderfully kind, compassionate, and gentle with your descriptions. As a obese woman with obese loved ones, I am grateful your honest yet kind response to a very tender subject. Love from Louisville, KY!

My Cousin passed at home many years ago and when they, the fire department removed him it was not a pleasant thing, he weighed 700+ pounds, and had to be drug through the house to the front door. After that at the funeral home we had to purchase a 1 1/2 wide casket and vault which was rather costly. Than the burial. forward 2 years his Dad passed away and was about the same size, I wasn't involved in the funeral arraignments this time as my uncle and other family took care of it. At the cemetery they had to remove his decided wife and bury him down a few feet deeper and put her back up top. At the grave side it was weird seeing her vault on the ground next to him for the lowering. I have to say that the funeral home that handled both funerals were very professional. Yes they did look quite different, but decent too.

Kari, I think you covered this topic in a dignified way. Thanks for putting your all into these videos!

I recently came across some of your videos and I must say, I am fascinated with your videos. I recently lost my mom in 2015 but it still feels like yesterday. I watched the way she passed and it wasn't an easy sight and I've carried a lot of guilt? Not sure what word to use. My mom was cremated and everything was done so quickly and me and my sister didn't know a thing about what to expect. I wanted to tell you thank you for what you do and making these videos. They're very informative and you do such a wonderful job explaining everything. Very respectful and after watching a few of your videos, I feel more at peace knowing what was going on behind the scene when my mom passed away. I pray the funeral director who who prepped her and everything was as kind, gentle, and respectful as you were. Your videos make me feel a little more comforting. Thank you for another great video and hope to see more in the future! 😊

I am happy that there are people like you who dare to talk about topics like this(death an after care in general)!!

i think the funeral home should ask in advance of the weight of the person. Before sending someone out to the hospitals and nursing homes

I've been a Pallbearer at 2 funerals for morbidly obese family members. The first weighed 600#s carrying her oversize casket to the grave was a challenge for all 8 of us. Plus the grave was on a hillside. It had been raining all day. The cemetery had no equipment to lower her into the ground, so we had to use straps to do it. The second 1, he weighed 650#s. The funeral home actually left his casket on the wheeled cart for us to move him to the hearse. Lifting him up on the rollers was back breaking. He was being cremated, so no graveside service.

I've watched several of your videos. Thank you for your kindness & caring you clearly have for those you care for in such a sensitive, delicate line of work. Thank you 💜

Hospital staff should politely tell the funeral home that extra staff will be needed due to the deceased being bigger than average.

I like your channel you are calm and informative. Thank you

Kari, you are so kind. Thanks for your work.

Definitely a subject worth talking about, and sometimes a sensitive subject. Most families will understand the difficulty of everything involved. I don't mean to sound cold or inconsiderate, but "dead weight" can be extremely heavy. Sometimes the fire department must be dispatched for a lift assist, for a removal. And in preparation, due to the obesity, there is only so much you can do, and hopefully the family will respect that.

This is a wonderful video topic and wonderful explanation.

Just found your channel, very happy with your content so far. I always remember that part from Gilbert Grape, my grandmother was quite large & if she had to go out to the hospital it usually required the fire department to assist. I can’t imagine how upsetting this may have been. Years later i go & work at my first SNF and lose my first patient a very large women; it was tough to say the least.

You are such a sweet, caring, professional person. God bless you in you helping the deceased and their family.

I’ve watched several of your videos now and always find you compassionate and informative. I would like to go to school to be a funeral director, but it’s not really feasible for me. There is only one school in my state and I’d have to move. I see this profession more as a ministry. Of course you show respect and great care for the person who has died, but the family is who you are really and truly taking care of. When my father died in 2004 the funeral director who worked with us was wonderful. Our family deals with thing using humor. We laugh. He picked up on this immediately and was wonderful. Going to school for this is still something I want to explore, but at age 44 I’m not so sure it’s something I’ll ever be able to do.

Thank you for explaining that so polite & graceful. You are such a precious soul. Thank you

Thank you very much. This is a sensitive topic and I think you covered things well.

You are a very compassionate person. All funeral directors have much to learn from you.

Thank you so much do making this video. I have some very obese relatives, and was wondering about this topic. I feel a lot more prepared for this eventuality.

Thank you so much for being so respectful and caring on this! I feared I would end up disliking your channel after this yet I came to respect you and want to listen to you even more! I have struggled with obesity my entire life and I will always be battling. The worst is how the entire world ...and I mean from loved ones to the world have been truly cruel to me... Doctors family members random people have treated beyond cruel. Maybe this will end when I die.

As a night nurse in an assisted living facility I found this very informative. It never dawned on me to inform the funeral director of the size of the deceased. I always assist with the removal of the body and if need be have an aide assist. I would love to see a quick video about tips for nursing home and assisted living staff in assisting with making the removal of a body easier for all?

I don't understand why the family members of an obese deceased family member or relative would be insulted. The truth is the truth.

You explain everything so well--and are willing to talk about and answer sensitive questions---refreshing and needed...thank you....

Thank you so much for your time and straight forward explanations.We need to know about death and the preparation of funerals.Less scary ,more enlightened.Death is a part of living after all. Thanks again you are so kind to take time to involve us in real things,important before the time we need to know... A blessing ...

Honestly. This business is one of the hardest in the nation and all of my support/understanding to them. Who wants to truly deal with this type of circumstance? We should be grateful for those who wish to care for us after death. Personally, if I had to choose someone to prep me for death, this woman would be my first choice. Thank you for your education!! Xx

Very good information. Makes me want to lose weight. I don't want to burden my family.

Thank you for this video...I know I never thought about what families go through with these additional decisions to make...bless their hearts and yours to for caring enough to inform everyone to this sensitive subject❤

I've watched all of your videos regarding the funeral process and find it wonderfully done. It is sensitive, professionally presented, profoundly informative, empathetic, and practical at so many levels.It is excellent and I thank you for your professional, candid, and sensitive explanations. God bless.

Bigger person = bigger pants = more fabric = higher cost. Same goes for caskets. It's logical. On that note, I'm going to eat another helping of fried chicken. LOL interesting stuff though... Subscribed.

I helped move a man who died in an ER. He weighed 450 pounds. Not a pleasant experience. As i recall, it took 7 of us.

Wow there is so much more than I’d ever thought about that goes into the whole funeral process!

My funeral director told me that anything over 300 lbs. is an additional 35% - 50% in costs added to a bill. It is a great incentive to lose weight.

My ex-husbands late Father during his final trip to the hospital it took 5 good-sized firefighter/paramedics to get him off the floor, out of the area he fell into. His cremation took a great deal longer and the service his Mother used filled the urn with very warm remains and presented her with an almost hot Urn.

We deal with oversized cases often. Being in the south fried chicken,fried pork chops, fried fried fried well you get the picture. It's difficult to explain to a family why this or that would not work when for 30 years they just knew all the preneed arrangements covered everything!

Thank you for your compassion and honesty.just started watching your videos and find them very interesting and full of" who knew" information!

Carrie , Is there anyone nicer than you? I doubt it. I sure hope I have someone as thoughtful and compassionate as yourself when my family and I pass. Thanks! For caring about your "customers" and their families. You are truly one of a kind. God bless you and your family. 😊❤🙏

Inconvenience is definitely not what anyone would want to hear. Challenges come in all sizes. Some challenges take a bit more creativity to deal with, but we all hope to be handled with compassion and respect and assume we will be no matter our physical stature. I can only imagine how difficult your job is and am very thankful you chose this field to get into! If I had a very large relative that passed, I'd want to hear the truth about those challenges as if it a regular part of the conversation any agent of the funeral home would have with any family member. I wouldn't want them to project that it feels like an uncomfortable matter that had to be discussed. If aunt Margo has to have a larger casket, I'd want to hear that aunt Margo needs a larger casket. Not unfortunately your aunt needs .... Its just a fact kinda thing. Hope I conveyed that right. I don't have an aunt Margo, but if I did ya know...😉 Thank you for all the time you've put into making these video's. They're fascinating and extremely informative! Your compassion is appreciated and endearing as well as the way you tell it as it is. Thank you so very much! I enjoy watching and learning from you. 👍✌

I think you're doing these videos is awesome and informative and done with dignity and respect. You're not creeping people out.Your putting a compassionate face and beautiful spirit to your side of the business during the worst time of some people lives having to have to make furneral arrangements for their love ones.. Every furneral home at the facilities .That I have worked for. When they called the Furneral home.The furneral staff would always asked how much do the person weigh how tall are they.And do they have staff willing to help with removal if needed by the furneral home. When they come to pick the body up.And yes most times the furneral home would only send one person. We have never had to call the fire department for one of our obese residents after death to help transfer them to the furneral home gurney.

You answered many questions I had about obesity. True compassion and using the right words are all you can attempt. I worked in nursing for 30 years, and a little empathy can go a long ways. I can recall having patients in excess of 800 pounds. You still address them as Mrs. So and so. They know they are obese. You must love people to do what you do. 💕👍🏻⚰️⚱️

Thanks for letting me know, this is very informative. It is sad, but very hard for everyone.

I used to work in a hospital and the patients nurse would call the undertaker at the time of death. Maybe there should be the practice of the nurse to tell the undertaker at that time that the patient is obese so that more than one person will be sent to take the deceased to the funeral home.

When I saw that this video was about obesity, I got worried. I have very close family members that are extremely obese and was so worried you would be insensitive in some way. I was worried I would not love your videos as much. Well I was totally wrong. I can tell that you are so respectful and the way you talked about this sensitive topic was amazing. Thank you.

You handled this with sensitivity; thank you for that. I had to listen to the folks from the funeral home drag my Dad down the hallway of my apartment building. It was very difficult. Dad was over 300 lbs. :( I offered to help, but they asked me to step outside.I would have been pleased to help them, but of course these guys didn't know me, and weren't sure if i could handle it emotionally speaking. Would have been one last thing I could have done for him....These gentlemen did everything they could to take care of Dad, and for that I will always be grateful :)

Your explanation on obesity of deceased persons was well said. It is hard for family's to acknowledge the reality of what being obese means in death; it's no different in needing over sized hospital beds. I really appreciate your wording as you spoke on these subject.

This would be such a sensitive topic. Very informative.

I am a retired paramedic and totally understand. I am now 68 and my wieght is around 250. Cremation is definitly my choice. Do I need to make extra plans? Wish you were in my area. Your awesome.

You are a naturally comforting individual.perfect for your profession

Thanks for such an informative video! I’m hoping more people in the funeral business can be on KZfaq.

When my ex wife passed away, I helped our daughter set up for the pickup of her body and the funeral. My ex wife always held her weight very well, so that she never looked her actual size. To our surprise, she weighed 395 pounds, so special arrangements had to be made. Also, an additional $100 was added to the cremation cost which was understandable. She now sits on a special place of honor in my daughter’s hutch in a beautiful mahogany container. She was only 60 years old and passed away in 2009. Even tho we drifted apart, we were close friends to the end and I was still in love with her. Had she lived and we stayed together, we would have been married 55 years on February 26th, 2021. As our wedding song states “If I Live to be a Hundred”, I’ll still be in love with you. I’m working on that, I’m almost 78. I’ll be in a wheelchair by then but I can still place her on my lap and have our final dance together and I’ll still be in love with her.

You're right every time I watch an episode of my 600lb life I think of the Gilbert Grape movie & them just removing what they wanted from that old house & setting it on fire

You do sound like a caring knowledgeable and professional individual.Thank you for what you do.

I just found your videos as I'm planning to start a business. I find all your videos helpful and I would like to thank you very much for sharing these videos. Awesome job you are doing. 🙏❤️

When the crematorium smells like the kitchen at a McDonalds that’s not good. I love when a casket company claims that they get few complaints.

Instead of inconvenience, I would say challenge

Thank you Kari... You are very sweet, & kind! The sensitivity, & professionalism, is very much appreciated! Because even some "pros" can be very cold, & insensitive w/this topic! Thank you for your great videos!

When my father died & we were picking out his casket, our mom showed me & my sister the casket she wanted to be buried in. It was a beautiful pick casket with silk & ruffles. When our mother passed she was to large to fit in that casket, so we had to pick out a oversized casket that we thought she would like. When my sister told her 9 yo old son that she had passed, he asked if we were able to get grandma her pink ' basket '. That put a small smile on our faces. When our brother passed me & my sister choose to have him cremated. When I went to put his ashes in the urn I realized that with him being so large I had to buy a second urn to fit all his ashes. These are just facts people have to accept if themselves or a family member is obese, there not one casket/urn that fits everyone. 💖

Both sides of my family have dealt with this issue on an obese person & death. On my dad's side, my Dad's step-cousin weighed 653lbs at the time of her death in 1993. She was not able to be embalmed, due to her stomach being that large, that she could not be laid flat on her back. So a closed casket had to be done for the wake & funeral. Cremation was not an option back then for her, due to no crematory having one that can cremate someone that large. Even today, there are still no crematories for humans only that can handle that size. I hear that if someone over 500lbs is cremated, that the body is taken to a place that cremates horses. I saw a video on that type, and it's huge. She had to be buried in 2 plots, & a crane had to be used to lower her casket into the vault. On my mom's side, I had to deal with this issue with my mom. She refused to take care of her health, because she was not happy with her life, & instead of improving her own, she wanted to bring down everyone else along with it. She was close to 400lbs at the time of her death. We were left with no choice, but to have her cremated, due to the fact that she didn't have a large enough life insurance policy. Cremation, urn, opening & closing her plot costed us $4075. The funeral home we went with was also owned by the cemetery that my family is buried in, & they were fortunate that a closed funeral home that they purchased, had a state of the art crematory in it, so they could use that, instead of the 50 or 60 year old crematory that is at the cemetery. The funeral home with an on site crematory can cremate up to 500lbs, while the cemetery's crematory can only cremate up to 200lbs, & due to not cremating the body efficiently, the cremains come back in 2 temporary urns. Had we been able to go with the direct burial route, it was around $6500 for an oversized casket & vault, but would fit in a normal burial plot, plus opening & closing the plot. My mom's cremation took 5 hours. With cremation getting dangerous as the population becomes obese (it's due to the excess fat that's being burned off the body), the industry is trying to get away from traditional cremation, & I forgot what it's called. I just know that the body is placed in a special pressurized chamber, filled with water and special chemicals, & the water is heated to around 300ºF, & boils & pressurizes the tissue away. They can safely breakdown bodies with this method (especially obese bodies) than with cremation. It does take a bit longer, but it's a bit more environmentally friendly. Problem is that it's not legal everywhere.

MICHIGAN!!!!!!! The wife and I LOVE the west side. Great video!

My mom was obese and my other relatives were obesed too

Being in this line of business as well, it is sometimes very difficult when handling these types of cases. Sometimes it is hard to sugarcoat the explanation so it comes off as harsh, but the few cases I’ve had with the obese deceased, my families thought they were absolutely beautiful because I took my time making them look beautiful. It’s the little things that will make the families grateful.

Thanks for explaining that sensitive subject so well! I observed something one time when I was at a viewing. It was at a person who was "obese" and I am being kind. When 2 of the funeral directors had to do something about some leaking that was taking place from the nose area. I just assumed it was inserting cotton. Not for sure. The gentleman's stomach area was actually higher than his head and I was thinking gravity had something to do with it but not for sure. Maybe you can answer that question. Thanks

I have to sit down and REALLY watch the Gilbert Grape movie.

very well said you are a very well compassionate person/Director thank you

Informative, thank you. Just found your channel, look forward to more.

So sucky so many (including myself) have a battle with emotional eating in industrialized countries 😔 God bless

If you have to have an oversized casket chances are it won't fit into the back door of the hearse.

Thank you. For letting us know everything

There is no way...I could be this candid.

People are so touchy.

Thanks Kari for another informative video on a very touchy subject. Very interesting on how you do your best to accommodate people in this position.

Beautiful way to explain this 🙏🏼

Interesting channel, thanks for sharing all of this!

I think it’s interesting that the family members of the obese deceased say “they don’t look comfortable” I highly doubt they were “comfortable” while they were alive. I’m not trying to be insensitive, but it’s frustrating to me that, that’s where (and when) their concern lies.

It's cheaper to just cremated them. They should have thought about that before eating themselves into Oblivion. If the family want you to make them not look so fat, tell them you're a mortician, not a miracle worker!

Interesting topic. My wife works at a cemetery and recently after a grave was dug, in an older section of the cemetery, between two other graves, there was not enough room, by just an inch or so, between the adjoining vaults to put the new vault in and they had to relocate the grave to another area. I'm wondering if vault/casket sizes have increased a bit owing to people just generally being larger than they were 50 or 100 years ago?

You are terrific! I love your channel

In America we’re WAY to sensitive toward the morbidly obese. When you remove all stigma for certain behaviors, you get more of those behaviors. The rest of society has to deal with these extremely fat people. Everybody’s health care costs go up, the fat guy sitting next to you on an airliner shoves you against the wall of the plane, and funeral home workers risk injury to their own bodies. This is almost a uniquely American thing, and it’s disgusting how being 400 lbs and rolling around in a motorized cart at Walmart carries no shame in 2021.

Thank you for sharing. What has been your most challenging moment in your career? That being emotionally and physically.

Solid information. Thank you for sharing

Yay!! Can't wait to see it!! Thank you!!! :-*

Can you also do a video about chunky funeral directors, please?

I’ve been an EMT for 12 years and I’m thinking about getting out because I can no longer handle these obese patients. If my partner and I need help lifting them into the ambulance I will not hesitate to ask for help. These damn nursing homes and hospitals don’t seem to think that a heads up about this would be helpful, they just call us and don’t warn us in advance.

Last year I worked with a funeral home and we had a service for this man and he had an over size casket. So the funeral director put a rope thing (idk what it’s called ) and it keeps the public at a distance from the casket. She said that the casket lid was top heavy and she said that even though the lid was stationary she didn’t want someone to walk up and the lid close on them. So I thought that was interesting.

Unfortunately this is a common thing nowadays. More people than not are obese. It has to be addressed. Restaurants and airplanes all have to be redesigned because of this issue. It's sad, but true.

it is not an inconvenience but added man power needed..............remind them that the person is really size of two people and it needs to be addressed, sadly

I'm obese, I'll be dead, just cut me in half from the waist down, no one is there to see if my socks match. Then just jam me in a casket, I don't need to be comfortable, not gonna feel a thing. When it's time to be cremated just quarter me up so I don't burn down the Crematorium 😂😂😂😂

Great video! A highschool friend was buried in an open casket with a sheer red curtain draped over it during the viewing. Her body was hit over six-plus times on the freeway before the other passenger lost count. Their car had stalled, she left the car to direct traffic around a motorist who was attempting to help them, when a drunk driver hit his car, which hit her & threw her into traffic. At the service I couldn't see any depressions or bruising in her face or elsewhere. Her face was just wider than normal (she was a slim girl). It made me wonder if she was mush under her clothing or if her face might fall off if touched.

Hi Kari I just found your channel and its great!! I was wondering what is your opinion on natural burial/body care and family involvement.