Very true! They never change. If it looks like change, it’s just altered behavior to get their needs met. Everything is about them. Took me years to fully understand this. It’s a survival mechanism they’ve adopted to in childhood and carried into adulthood. My ex said I was his wife and God told him. 1 month later I was discarded again 🤦‍♀️ now he’s saying “I’m trying to find my wife” to anybody who will believe him.

They don't change. My dad took it to his grave.

​@@kellithomas9080I haven't have contact with my mother for three years, she is 86 yers. She is not giving up (in). I let her know some of what I know, and let her know I will deny what you have lied about me. I was to late,she had already Calle my entire kinfolk, crying and of course playing the offer..I sm alone and she get people who believes her to hand out they don't even known they are traumatize me over and over..she is a covered narc.The most difficult for me was seeing she rather see me dead than been exposed. That is still unbelievable in some ways.

Amen

Amen!😁

Happened to me. After being diagnosed with Lupus, I went home and expected empathy and support, as I had helped take care of him and helped him get on disability. Imagine my surprise when he implied both my doctor and myself were lying about my diagnosis.

You have no idea what stoic is.

In part; a stoic person is one who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or without complaining.

Or, they use it as a reason to do further damage.

Our son was sick he couldn't handle our son being in hospital sick he couldn't get his head around why he's son should be getting treatment at hospital. No sympathy or empathic towards his son and when we came home he cancelled the fact our son was sick and he went straight to work and never cared to check on his son. This people are lost souls.

Facts. It's like the scales fall off your eyes and God allows you to see through the vail.

I want him to live a long life watching from afar at the amazing job I did with our sons ! He is watching I am doing so fantastic! The household is on a no contact with him ! Want him to live he can’t retire at 65 as he had plan - he will work hard or live with someone that have him on a short leash which will make him very unhappy but at that age he will have no choice

Yea. Thats an understatement

Lol the entire concept of Capitalism comes crashing down. The rich people and celebrities look like fools. They are after narcissistic supply and the variety of houses, cars, status are just props for a disordered person. The system of Capitalism is run by these fools for their advantage. It's manipulation and a lie how the economy and the politics of a nation have been designed. Their traits are intended to win and they manipulated us to work for them.

Life will never be the same

If you have never been a bully, but someone bullies you, even the most patient person will snap and say enough is enough.. As I like to phrase it the worm turns. Once that happens the jig is up and anyone worth their salt won't put up with it. So if you then stick around more fool you. Manipulation is neither fun or makes for a happy person. Ooh poor narc my heart bleeds for them.

*complaint

Wow so the “bully” number is a common trait. Its amazing how I became a bully because I wouldnt respond to the abuse. The smear campaign is STILL going.

“Oh yea well all that ‘healthy communication’ as you call it is great for you, but I don’t operate like that. I operate through guilt trips, gaslighting, and punishing you every time I feel feelings I don’t like. You’re tying my hands, trying to get me to communicate like you. You’re controlling me!” -the narcissist

Truth! The person I had a situationship with always flipped things right back on me and always played the victim to the point where I had ENOUGH. I checked out of that toxic mess.

I agree ❤

So very true

So true

Yessssssss. It’s a dynamic. Awareness is everything. Be aware, and they become predictable. I need help setting boundaries when threatened.

This video is helpful thank you

Uh huh, it’s nuts 🤯

Ex blew us up with catfished photos. Ran when caught.😮

@@debmccafferty1007they will accuse you of cheating when they are

👏👏👏

They can fool anyone, she fooled me for 20 years.

Oh, he did, he cried and he made sure he wasn’t hiding his relationship status on Facebook that he had “no idea why it wasn’t showing up.” Pft! lol. Right.

That first sentence, so accurate.

@@anne-louisegoldie Exactly...never assume they have lines they won't cross bcuz they will ALWAYS excuse or validate their boundary indiscretions with plausible denial Don't believe the lies of their perceived truth ... When they say they would never cheat

I hate it when people say oh I know you and then they actually don't but they just say they do they just want you to think that they're not a narcissist. The shallow fake and Evil

THEY ARE OUR ENEMIES.

One of them.

Yes I agree she got it

Definitely one of the best communicators on the experience

I LIKE LEARNING FROM HER.

Check out Mami so true, she is my go to person.

You will always become the villain when you call out a narcissistic person and they will go out of their way to make others see it that way

They are branded. Anyone becomes a horrible narcissistic sociopath after a few years. Trying to live with someone the entire life is torture.

I know exactly how you feel! It's devastating! You feel crushed and your heart shattered. It's worse when they cruelly discard you after a major surgery, leaving you broken and having to deal with healing not just your body, but also your heart and soul as well.

@@iramsavir5631 They will discard at the most inopportune time, and not lose a wink of sleep afterwards. It’s so cold blooded.

I was married to her for 20 years and had no idea that she was a narcissist. I saw the suspect sneaky behavior but I ignored it. However, in 2023 she could not contain the mask and she discarded/divorced me in 2023. The night before I moved I saw a demon with black eyes and a demonic smirk. That was enough for me, you can't unsee what you have seen!

Thank you. Thanks for watching!

Projection--"You're having an affair", while they have side-people all over the place--that's their favourite (defense) mechanism...Run afayc(an)

I tried to talk about certain ignoring behavior in general, didn't even blame them or accuse them of anything. In fact, was kind of thinking my other friend. How did my narc friend react? "LISTEN TO YOURSELF!!" "You're too sensitive" "You're so defensive" "Your shield just gets up" "No wonder people disappear from around you" "At least I love people the way they are" "Aren't friends supposed to show love and compassion?" "Even your mom says you're unreasonable" "No wonder your other good friend ghosts you" "You're impossible" "It's impossible to talk with you, I've tried" "You don't understand people at all" "You're delusional" "You've learned nothing" ...all I tried to talk about was why ignore someone and what attitude should people have about messaging and communication. I didn't even point it towards anyone.

I was with my ex wife for 20 years, God pulled me out and I went no contact for the past 5 months and my life couldn't be better! Ask God to help you get out, your not helpless, stay encouraged God is real!

How is your situation going ? I just broke up with mine a month ago, before I was moving out ,she would send text and try calling to say all the … “we can do this and make it work “ I responded , “ we never resolve anything “

Yes, in my experience they move incredibly fast when they realize they lost control of you. Two other points that especially resonated with me. 1. They aren't heartbroken, though it appears that way. The prime narcissist in my life is like an extremely gifted method actor. It's like a skill they have subconsciously developed, because for them it's about survival of their ego, and not being unmasked. They are upset that they've lost control. I think ultimately that in turn brings on an incredible amount of fear, because if they've lost control, you may unmask them further. Publicly. Bringing on public shame, which is kryptonite to them. My experience, is that they almost feel like their life is threatened after they have been called out. I interpret that as someone who genuinely feels frightened. They react as if they're very life and existence is in jeopardy. As if they are in deep peril. From their perspective, their very being is in jeopardy. Being unmasked to them feels like the ego being killed. 2. Think like them. A " looking behind the mirror" staple, and SO VERY HELPFUL. Not because we are trying to be empathetic, or caring, or think we can fix them... That's the trap. Rather, it helps us to see their alternate reality, how extremely divergent it is from reality, and hence makes us better able to protect ourselves. It's akin to thinking like the enemy. In a previous video, mirror indicated that this is like a war. This is exactly my experience. I didn't choose this work, I am not a fighter, but after a forest full of olive branches, and nothing but abuse in return, it would be nothing but foolhardy appeasement to keep going in the same direction.

@@bhabi7071 , very well put indeed!

😂😂😂😂 oh God.

He was definitely projecting! Pathetic

😢

Exactly the same as my narcissist did, writing on social media how unpleasant it was to "go from idealized to discarded" and how wrong it is to "give up on people". This was after decades of insidious gaslighting, putdowns and them trying to make me doubt myself. I finally called the narcissist out and what unfolded made me realize there was no point in trying to talk it out anymore, so I cut it off, but in a "nice way". Sorry but I never "idealized" the narcissist, I was just really patient and did not want to give up for a long time, until I did not have a choice any more if I was going to have any sort of integrity. They definitely accuse you of exactly what they themselves are doing !

👍👍👍

😢 I can hardly imagine myself there now.

I’m sure most narcissists think I’m talking about the people they’ve victimized. Very few would realize that I’m talking about them.

You must have been a great supply for him, this is why he does not want to let you go. In his mind you did not have a good heart you are a fool, and he will never find anyone as gullible as you ever again. So happy you have wised up, and pray that it will stink through his hard head that you will not take him back. It's tough being a good person with a good heart. 💕 Good luck to you.

Yes, in my personal experience the smear is the worst part because they know WHO to spread the information to in order to create the most damage and confusion.

There is that aspect to it. They also prioritize giving the appearance of success, fulfillment, a deep inner life rather than the reality of those things.

This is not up to you. If you not gonna do anything to get those brothers close, don't do anything to separate them.

Congratulations!! I’ve been in that position and I’ve also celebrated with close friends who have gotten out of toxic work environments. I’m so glad you’ve found a way out!

Thank you I cannot wait for the freedom

The exact same thing happened to me ! You think you know someone so well, trust them and you see them in a certain light from so long ago. Looking back, gradually through the years there have been red flags that pop up here and there but you choose to overlook them because you like this person, and after all nobody is perfect, right? Then came the moment when I was gaslit in a way that could not be explained away, and major cognitive dissonance took place within me. When I stood my ground and refused to be gaslit then out came a fury that I had never seen before and was completely disproportionate. After refusing to give in to the anger there was pleading from the narcissists part... I think that the more we learn and understand about narcissism and the healthier we get ourselves when it comes to boundaries and self-awareness, the more we can see these traits all around us and we can easier reevaluate old relationships and see them in a new light. But it hurts really bad to realize that the realtionship was not what you thought it was. I was also the subject of envy. Being envied, I can take, because after all it can be something that many people struggle with and you don't have to be a bad person to struggle with envy. But what was far worse was that I realized that I was systematically being undermined and made to doubt myself and my perception of events, when I was looking for advice or reassurance about something. That, to me is something completely different - that is just evil.

I literally think the family "support"is what makes people delete themself.jus saying God is better than a resentful relative.

Just broke up with my now 63 ex a month ago It’s amazing they have made it this far in life with their contemptuous behavior Stay strong , it’s difficult when you love the illusion

So of them put their money where their mouth is.