Thanks for the outline

What if i dont know what i desire from other people

Yeah, you don't need any of that college nonesense, you just need someone else who DID go to college!

I can see this being an extensive resume!

Yeah, a lot of education is for free now because of the Internet.

i mean, shes makes money out of it

@@williamwallace234You don’t pay for college to be smarter, you pay to earn more for what you already know or are already learning on your own with regards to your respective field. Although I will say, some general education classes I’ve found to be quite interesting and some of that info I still remember and share with others.

Period. Shitty ppl cant stand to be around those who have or try to have their life or themselves together.

Similarities attract each other.

THIS!! Queen energy! Wishing you all the best, boss! 🙏🏾♥️♥️👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

I know it's been a year since you posted this, but I really hope you're doing whatever you want to be doing, whether it's studying at law school or working in that current field. The same thing happened to me years back when applying to colleges for undergrad, it was discouraging. I still figured though that I might as well make the most of that and other things, and I've been able to significantly cultivate my own interests since then

And that's why I love that show lol

@@urwrstntmre same! I dont watch it but i love the youtubers commentary

@Darkstar Thank you. I appreciate that and I agree 100%. I’m actually in a relatively good place at this moment and may be close to being able to say that I’m stable. I’ve had some dramatic up and down cycles along the way. I’m lucky enough to have opened up to someone who has consistently supported me and rooted for me. I had my doubts at times, wondering if she was starting to do it out of guilt, pity, or obligation, because I wasn’t getting better for so long. I began to feel that I may be a horrible person for taking more of that kindness than I should. Those doubts tore me up so much until I talked with her directly about what she was and wasn’t ok with. I felt so guilty about the possibility that I was draining her energy. Thinking of myself in terms of my broader social value could have been enough to send me over the edge and withdrawn completely. I would have thought that it would be in her best interest to cut me out of her life, like with this video’s example of the drunk friend. My negative intrusive thoughts can really latch in deep when I’m more vulnerable. This video isn’t really focused on developing friendships while mending deep wounds, which would be more along the lines of what I needed. I would’ve taken away the wrong message had I seen this at the wrong time. I did clarify things with my friend, who truly wanted to be there for me and has continued to prove that. That one thing has been so valuable to me that thinking about climbing the rungs of the social ladder isn’t important to me right now. I’m beyond grateful for having that and I’m glad she’s finally able to see me getting better. It’s better for me to continue to focus on my personal growth and my specific relationships. This video just isn’t the right one for me.

I agree, and also if we want more kindness in our life, we can begin by giving it... starting with ourselves )

I'm glad to hear That! I am working on myself and don't really have people in my life. Hope I'll attract the right ones soon

@@tasfiahnabani8719 I appreciate it! Best of luck to you in your journey, you’ll find the right people I believe in you! ☺️

@@admirbarucija2018 thank you very much! Best of luck for your journey as well! Sending my best wishes 💕

@@tasfiahnabani8719 You’re welcome, and thank you very much!! Sending my best wishes as well 💕

Thank you so much!

Fantasizing is dangerous!! Still learning to stop that.

@@ruby6234 There are two good steps in stopping it, first this is my personal experience so it may suite you or it may not. First i thought i felt badass at that point and that made me feel happy, that me it harder for me to stop fantasizing, to stop it you have to own the fact that what made you happy is the attention or love from the other person. And you have to own that it decreases your esteem to yourself when you are in a relationship with someone and you should back off and let them come to you and if you do not, they will disrespect you, then you get a feeling that prevents you from socializing which destroys the other relationships with other people whom you should not back off from because they have already reached out to you and its your turn to reach out...

I'm glad I stopped fantasizing about a person I met on a dating app and I realised that I was doing most of the chasing for too long while the energy was not reciprocated from them. I decided to cut contact with them and it's the best decision I've ever made.

There is a certain corner of the internet that i dont necessarily agree with everything, they call this concept oneitis. In pop culture we call it unrequited love. What basically happends is you build this someone up in your head into someone they are not and delude yourself into thinking your beneath themeven, when in reality they are just another human.

Yeah, in my own Channel one of my recurring themes is Persona Development. Years ago I became acquainted with the School of Psychological Therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which posits the notion that most of our problems come from just entertaining bad behavioral habits or bad mental habit, from bad Conditioning we got from young know-nothing Parents. But the Second Step in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is, well, after you eliminate a Bad Habit, in behavior or your thinking, well, what do you replace it with. You can tear down the Old You, but what do you replace it with? So that got me to thinking about What Is My Optimum Persona. Well, as YOU pointed out, we ourselves do not EMULATE everything. We Admire what Resonates with us. Yeah, Emulation leads to Persona Development, and you not so much become what you WANT to be as what you'd LIKE to be.

Awesome idea!

I feel the same way. My “issues” usually arise in career. Not with friendships. I I work my ass off in an effort to gain opportunities to further myself, but ultimately become resentful when people don’t see my value. Starting over every few years somewhere new hoping for change… isn’t working. Socially I’ve become more comfortable being out going and navigating small talk. But sometimes I still dread meeting people and being “on”. I suppose I don’t know what my “on” position really looks like or feels like, which is why I dread being in that mode. I find that people see me as unapproachable Bc of this. I remain very private when speaking to most people. Bc my only other mode is telling you my life story. Which never served in creating connections like I think it will. I struggle with finding the sweet spot.

It takes confidence to be vulnerable! Being genuine is more important than acting a certain way.

Yeah, the Unequal Couple Thing. It is a common situation that some High Achiever will latch onto a Waitress or some Store Clerk to pay the bulk of the bills while going through School, but then dump her later after getting the Dream Career. But then I wonder how two Career People can ever get married... Careers are Life Work, aren't they? What does your Partner know about your Life at the Office? What do you know about there's. I think most Marriages turn into Roommate Situations, two people agreeing to pay off One Mortgage. Maybe the only Marriages that really work are those Mom and Pop Businesses where the Partnership is tangible.

I just had to left my bf for the same reasons (he was the depressed one and I tried my hardest to help him and make things work) I wish he can have the same wake up call as you did. I wish him the best and Hope he can heal. I wish you the best as well❤

that’s why she continuously mentions personal standards and subjectivity. The type of people that make my life fulfilling will be different than yours, and everyone’s standard of happiness is different. If you love the people around you and they give meaning to your life, it doesn’t matter where they fall in other people’s standards. You can be surrounded by rich, charismatic, maybe even caring friends and still be miserable and feel isolated. This is more targeted for the people who suffer from being in toxic relationships that don’t provide any meaning or growth for them.

this comment needs more likes!! 100% agree and the way this content was phrased definitely rubs me the wrong way. I myself have tried and witnessed many people attempt to "work on themselves" as a method of attracting like-minded people into their life, only to end up feeling much more isolated and unhappy than they started off with. True friendship should NEVER be based on mutual gain, especially in a world where genuine care and compassion is so hard to come by.

I agree

Yeah, there's this growing trend in the world of "uwu cut off everyone if they have any toxic traits" like congrats, you're no different hon. While the vid does explain how people tend to operate, and that someone who complains all the time, obsesses over things, has attachment issues, etc, probably won't attract healthy people, it forgets the IMPLICATIONS it makes for those who struggle. Is it improve yourself or die? What if you're not strong enough? What if it doesn't feel worth trying without anyone even caring, without any support or motivation? Effortless connections where you draw in people just by "exuding confidence" or whatever are cheap, but to actually have COMPASSION and stick it out through the tough times? That's a dying breed. People freak out over the social effort equivalent of a paper cut and abandon people they claim to care about too quickly.

How does a history of abuse preclude self-love as an effective technique for drawing more connected, loving people into your life? Nobody is saying that people who were abused don’t have it harder, but I don’t think people should be seeking out videos on self help unless they plan on doing some work.

You mean people were coming to her money, not her

Are you still together?

Depends on where your motivations lie. But I’d say the investment firm is a pretty tempting place to start if you want money fast. But you’ll have less of a work life balance.

Well, yeah, 'Friends' should be honest, but that is an IDEAL to be worked towards. Acquaintances can't be expected to be honest. And New Friends are rather on a kind of Probation, aren't they. How can anybody trust a New Friend, right? Heck, Relationships are really bad that way, meaning that most people believe that Intimacy should equal Honesty and so they give these almost Perfect Strangers the Key to their Secret Lives and really come to regret it. Also, in regards to Ana's relationship with the Drunken Girl, well, it certainly isn't Ana's duty to do anything but Run Away from that Train Wreck. If the Relationship is to be saved it would have to be by a campaign of apologies from the Drunken Girl who would need to make it all right somehow. No, it would be wrong to bother Ana any time soon, but should they bump into each other again, then overtures could be made.

I agree. I don’t think people “going through a bad time” should just be avoided or abandoned either. Everyone needs support and friendship.

@@alliemarie2005 Good Morning Alicia, Yeah, I understand that you are coming from an admirably high Social Moral Idealistic Place in advocating not abandoning "friends" when they are going through hard times. but my impression was that this get together was more just prospective between acquaintances. Did Ana mention about who was reaching out to whom? But in every Relationship there is a Power Dynamic, that is, somebody always takes a bit more than they give, and the one bows to the other. I think that Ana was surprised to find herself automatically placed into the Inferior Role and took it as a slap in the face. Showing up Drunk was also kind of Butch and maybe Ana didn't want it to go down that road. Also, initial get togethers are a lot like First Dates. If they don't go well, then the best thing is to just let them recede into the past. No phone call required. What would you say that wouldn't sound judgmental or condescending? But, then again, I'm just projecting different scenarios that would justify my thinking, and don't know any more actual details than you do. But, still, Good Kind People already give themselves enough Duties to perform for an ungrateful World without asking them to accept insults from near-strangers and then go back and ask for more.

Yeah, sounds to me like you are Bound by the Economy of Favors to stick with your Partner until at least you think you've paid back for the help you received. But make it clear that you'll only stand by your Partner only as long as he's not Standing Still in some Schitthole. Let him know to Keep Up Or He's Out but keep giving him a hand as long as he stays with the Program.

Depends on how long he’s been stuck in this slump and if he’s made any progress. If he hasn’t made any and it’s been a considerable amount of time then you should communicate that you guys are becoming different people and that you should split if nothing changes.

This is the pitfall of the ideology. It really does seem to be saying that you only deserve to have people in your life if you're on your best behavior. No slip ups allowed, no depressive slumps, no sickness, no insecurities. Now, the video is more geared toward attracting people, not about keeping existing people, but there is a heavy emphasis on the growing trend of "cut out everyone who has some sort of toxic trait" because struggle is icky, apparently.