Just to emphasize this cause I didn’t make it as clear in the video itself as I would have liked: Project HOPE is currently sending help to Ukraine, and they also send help to other places like Haiti and Indonesia. Hopefully that doesn’t impact your donation too much, but I thought it important to make it clear where your money would be going. If you want to give money to a fundraiser that works solely with Ukraine, there are many online, but I couldn’t find any of those on the KZfaq charities list and I think Project HOPE is an even better place to donate because of its inclusivity ❤️

I’ve always used limerence as a form of escapism since I was a kid in an abusive home that was often neglected. I would often be in my head in relationships with people I didn’t know, getting the attention I was not receiving. Unfortunately I think that carried over into real relationships where I sought out people who were largely unavailable, and lived out most of the relationship in my head. It hasn’t been until recent years that I’ve held myself accountable for doing it, checked in with friends to make sure I wasn’t and tried to stay firmly in the present/reality within relationships. I had never heard the term limerence until this year, but it immediately fit. Always love your videos and hearing your take on things, you explain things incredibly well!

I feel like its like maladaptive daydreaming applied to romance.

Thank you for this! I have tried to describe this obsession to more than one therapist and was universally dismissed. I have basically been begging for help. Now I have the vocabulary to take to a new therapist and describe exactly what I'm feeling.

I had no idea rOCD was a thing. I've struggled deeply with limerence since I was 5 or 6 but only just recently learned what that is. Now I'm seeing my struggle may be something more ingrained. The situation in the Ukraine for sure impacts all people. As soon as I'm financially able I will be making a donation to help the aid for Ukrainians.

I think this is something I've struggled with for years. Entering college, having never been in a relationship and wanting one desperately, it's made the crushes that I've developed incredibly devastating. It worsens my depression so much, which makes it nearly impossible to function at all. Thank you so much for this video. I'm so glad I have a name to this now. Hopefully now I'll be able to communicate these feelings to a therapist once I find a new one.❤️

Well well well, if it isn't yet another obsessive disorder that I may or may not have.

I love limerance. It is the highest of my highs. When I get a crush, I try to keep them at arms length and not get to know them so well so that my crush will last longer.

I'm glad you took the time to speak about what's happening. I've been staying off of social media (for my mental health) but have read articles. It's horrifying but not at all shocking. Sending prayers out for Ukrainians.

Ana - you are describing exactly what I am going through. I always had a sense that this was unhealthy, but it's become so so apparent in recent weeks and seeing your video just makes it so clear now. I AM a dopamine fiend. I have BPD and profound fears of abandonment. When I was really young my mother would lock me outside the house and leave me alone for hours and hours when she didn't want me in the way. And I have the exact same feeling in this "relationship" now. I never heard about ROCD but it makes so much sense and it is so real. I'm so scared I know it's not sustainable but I'm terrified to let go I really just need something to address my own emptiness I feel within. I cannot sleep I'm loosing my mind. Thank you for the video I feel a little validated and it brought a degree of comfort. My thoughts are with Ukraine I wish no one would have to suffer like that.

I’m in the last stages of Limerance, coming out of the fog. It’s very powerful and I was not prepared for it. Thank god it only lasted 3 months, and I figured out what was going on. What made it worse is that my LO was incredibly physically gorgeous (for a while I could not find any one else attractive) she tacitly reciprocated, and was very manipulative. I think she might be a narcissist.

Ana.. I am deeply Russian, a Kurgan... thank you for presenting this as you have and your way, you really understand this horror, and this life.. we all thought we were past it. You do good work sister, you do the world a favor with your studies... thank you hundredfold. I know you harbor the pain I do, "we" do.. I honor and appreciate every single thing you do... please know the gifts you give to us by being Ana and expressing Ana are.. the Light of Heaven to some.. me for one. Alleluia, my friend. Enjoy life, you deserve it. I stand with you and beside you, always. Westerners will never understand no matter how wonderfully you speak sister. You are hyper intelligent and still, growing as I observe over time. Go Ana, go. Thank you for being Ana.

Thank you for sharing this. Idk why but this last week I got obsessed with someone from YEARS ago that I had thought about in at least 4 years. Brains are strange. Wishing love, healing, and peace to all.

Great explanation of OCD. Never heard it explained outside of the stereotypical/televised ideation of it.

I have struggled with limerence for much of my teenage years. Only recently, did i manage to escape its addictive hold and finally climb out of the depressive hole it put me in.

Thank you so much. My grandparents were from Ukraine. I am 69-years-old and have never seen such horror in this life time. Thank you for the fund raiser!

how do we differentiate between limerence and R-OCD and an anxious/insecure attachment style? it sounds like some of these behaviors are similar to an activated anxious/insecure attachment style, and I just wanted to get clarification on how to distinguish the two

Limerence is such an interesting topic - thanks for this vid!!

Hey :) I have really liked your statement in the beginning of the video..... I am a Ukrainian studying in uni abroad but my entire family is in Ukraine. Just wanted to say how people like you make a lot of difference. And love your channel overall, ofc!

Thank you Ana for showing us the importance of war and how it affects everyone 💗🙏 prayers to your grandma and everyone else.

I live in Belgium and I'm concerned the conflict will bleed out a lot further. A co-worker of mine (Ukranian) who works from a distance. He had to flee Kiev but I finally heard back from him today and was very relieved. This is a very scary situation.

I've always had OCD symptoms since I was young and it was really bad. I never got diagnosed but I still refer to myself as having it because I have for sure checked all of the signs off, it put me in so much distress once, especially because my OCD theme was about death and me thinking I was gonna die if I didn't clean something properly or if I skipped a step while going up the stairs. I really wish people would see that OCD just isn't wanting to keep things in order or whatever that stereotype is.

Hi Ana. I just want to say i am super impressed by your intellect and that you bring as much honor to knowledge of the mentality that you do. I appreciate that you post your insights. Keep safe and thank you.

Still live with a deep underlying trauma due to my divorce, I’m remarried, by all accounts have a happy life, but I get triggered by unwanted memories, dreams, thoughts. I’ve dealt with a lot of things in my life by all accounts were difficult but that experience really stayed with me for some reason. I know I formed a very strong attachment to the person due to knowing them for so long and by how abrupt and ugly the separation was, but man, it’s been almost 4 years and it still gets to me. Therapy has helped, hopefully one day I’ll be able to completely let go.

you always talk about the subjects that are hardly touched on I feel like and I really appreciate that about you. 💕

These terms seem like an individual who would need to work on their self concept + self image. Lot of negative thoughts about self play out this way. I feel like I remember being in Limerance. I had low self-esteem & lack of self love. Unworthiness, self rejecting, etc. I could make someone up in my head to daydream about & to be in love with & I would have dreams of them rejecting me. I feel like once I put myself on a pedestal that behavior faded away.

This was extremely illuminating to my current situation. I appreciate the comment section as well.

I don't know how your videos are always such perfect timing... but I like it.

I don't mind the cat noises at all. In fact,it gives the vibe of you and I having a friendly conversation in your house. I partially understand what the Ukranians are going through, because as a citizen of Myanmar in Southeast Asia, my country is under attack by our own military government who is mercilessly taking the lives of innocent people that oppose the military junta. Praying for Ukraine. Please pray for Myanmar too. We need alot of international support just like Ukraine does.

DBT can help everybody I’m a huge proponent of this!!

I'm from Ukraine and I'm really grateful to you ❤

This limerance word, i only learned about a couple of weeks ago but now I'm seeing it everywhere!

I got back with an ex after she broke up with. I then struggled with relationship anxiety it was awful I never struggled before. We broke up again (all llpeaceful and good she's a lovely woman) and the anxiety left instantly and besides the heartache it was gone and I didn't feel it with a new relationship. It was honestly the first and only time I struggled with anxiety and it really made me understand how bad anxiety can be for some people God help them.

Russian here. Just wanted to thank you for your fundraiser and your opening statement drawing peoples attention to what my god forsaken government (not mine, never voted for those crazy blood-thirsty morons) has been doing in Ukraine (been over 5 months now and it’s soul-wrenching). I’ve been living abroad for over 12 years and have so many wonderful friends from Ukraine. All my Russian friends condemn the war and have been doing all we can to help those who’ve been directly and indirectly affected by this senseless war. Thank you for mentioning that not all Russians are evil. I know it’s small in comparison to what’s happening in Ukraine but I still appreciate you bringing it up. Slava Ukraine!

omg ana u hit the nail on the head with every video !! 😭 i honestly feel so accepted and hopefull when i watch your videos because these are the problems that ive been having for years but couldnt pin point until i discovered your channel 💘💘

Faptul că aud ca ești româncă mă bucură si ma face să ți apreciez contentul cu atât mai mult!

I think I am going through this and it really sucks. FYI, I have ADHD and OCD. Basically, the relationship was amazing, but I think she made an assumption and lost interest while still verbally reciprocating and spending tons of time together. She then suddenly said we might get back together in the future, but are just "best friends" for now, and continued to contact me a little bit. This was my first relationship, and it only really lasted about 3 months, but its really messing with me. Its been almost 6 months and I can't stop obsessing over it. I was given no closure, it seemed like she was super interested, and all of a sudden, nothing. I can't figure out what behaviors are 'normal', what ones are odd, if I was misinterpreting things, if I was being manipulated, if there was something actually wrong, or if it was an assumption. On top of all this, shes super indecisive, so I am also thinking about what to do if she comes back. But I don't know if its limerence or what. Like, I acknowledge that she has quirks. I acknowledge that she was most likely slowly backing off instead of being upfront and that it hurt me. But I also acknowledge that she probably was trying to not hurt me and just ended up naively hurting me more. I have been seeing my therapist to try and help out, but I wish I could just accept *any* conclusion and move on. Its slowly dying down, but its just difficult.

Thank you for hosting this fundraiser. I’m in a 16 week DBT course. Just began yet I’m already noticing major improvements

Your timing is so perfect lol i just got diagnosed with limerence a few days ago

As a person who experiences counting compulsion, exposure therapy has been helpful throughout the last 2 years for me

Until now, I had never heard of the word, limerence. Thanks for considering others' welfare and actively informing and educating them.

This is an awesome resource for people struggling with this and needing to learn more about it and where to begin, thank you :)

I needed this; perfect timing

Omg i started crying when i saw the pic of the refugee with their cat 😭😭😭 it must be so hard!!

Wow I love that, “you have the thought not the thought has you” deff going to use that.

This makes me curious about how to tell the differences between an anxious attachment style and a possible ROCD compulsion to check someone's location constantly for example. I'm guessing it depends on the person

Thank you for helping Ukraine! You channel is very good and people from Ukraine are watching it.

Thank you so much for this video! I wish the different subtypes of ocd were talked about more. I have harm and relationship and fantastical ocd. I rarely hear people talk about the specific types of ocd that I suffer from

Ana - I love your remarks. Well done on being exactly on the right side of history.

My whole life has been dark limerance, fuck

I keep falling into limerence. Last time it was easier to get out of it because the guy was already out of my life, but now I have a crush on this guy that's in my group of friends and I hate it so much. I'm obsessed and fantasise all day long. I just want to stop, I can't focus on other things I need/ want to do, like studying or doing things I love

This video made me feel so seen. I was actually clinically diagnosed with OCD, and this video made me realize that when I was a kid, when I used to get so afraid at night that the only way I could go to sleep was to check every room in an "O" shape (which I called the Oreo protocol) and a "C" shape (which I called the Cookie protocol); I had no idea that could be a form of OCD.

You tell them girl. I stand with your righteousness.

I needed this today😭. Going through an intense heartbreak 🥺💔

EMDR ( using flashing technique also ) , journaling, ideal parent figure protocol , IFS and rewing technique , altogether can heal limerence by promoting memory reconsolidation . It just takes more than 2 years , it is a long way but it works evwntually

Thank you for your wonderful explanations. You have such a great way of getting your point across that allows me to easily comprehend and apply to my own life. I wish you endless abundance❤

I care! I'm half Greek myself & my grandparents fled fascism as immigrants. Also, Peta international is helping folks who are fleeing with their animal companions, too. Bless you

0:58 As I'm watching this, I'm on a Polish train and there is literally a Ukrainian lady with a child and a cat. It's so scary what's happening there.

U r so amazing to dedicate ur work to ukranians.

I'm not trying to be mean in any shape or form. But the added "es" at the end of examples at 12:32 was adorable

I didn’t know why my stomach couldn’t handle food for two weeks until I realised it was because I had an intense crush on a coworker at my new job and every time I saw him I got a shot of adrenaline through my system 😂 thank you for speaking about this, Ana, it definitely makes me feel less alone!

Just discovered your channel. Highh quality material indeed. And I appreciate your help as Ukrainian

I feel called out lmao I also think that even if you think you're keeping these feelings to yourself, it oozes out of you once you're in front of that one person. Your treatments don't sound like they'll work for me (at least until I fully comprehend how I would implement them practically) but I'm so glad I've now put a name to the thing, since I had never heard the terms limerence or rOCD before.

mindfulness and other meditation technique is helpful. yet the process before arriving to peace and indifference is going to be intense. my ego system literally collapse energetically like a hologram of a building collpasing inside of me. i knew then there was death, chaos, and at the end of it, of 'the me' disappearing. the me were the information i tried to absorbed from others which i thought were important. now i no longer read much or need stimulation. theres mental food and body food and i consume too little of those. yet i feel full and potent. i no longer am eratic and my concentration or presence has become intense. my mind is no longer clouded in thought processes narrating this and that. what more strange is i can somehow predict or read parcel of information from other person if i focus my attention. like being able to read the others thoughts. this situation needs me to be too slow like being high or something lol. thats when i can read and observe.

Thank you for supporting Ukraine, that means a lot to us as Ukrainians. Love your videos, you are outstandingly smart and well-spoken. Got some relationship-related problems during the war, and these videos help me understand where my loved ones' emotions are coming from, and how can I handle better the situations I happen to be in

I had social anxiety when I was younger more…still have TOCD and experience limerence. Soul mate thoughts from real evidence in interaction really overwhelm me. Although what happens may be true, but is not the most important thing in the world and does not guarantee feelings are mutual or “this means that” Also show BPD traits too. This video really demonstrates well how these things can make someone suffer

I seriously need to test for OCD. If I have it, I have probably learnt to live with it but I just want to know. Edit: A lot of these exercises I have been doing. Some not on purpose others on purpose and I feel IF I ever had OCD it was definitely much worse when I was young

I wish I could talk to you and break down some of these topics in relation to my experiences, You’re great at what you do

Does the "love at first sight" thing factor into limerence at all? I know it's not love, but it was something pretty powerful.

I got like this about a girl I met at work for awhile and had no idea what was going on and I thought it might have something to do with OCD but I wasn’t sure. Thank you for making this video to help me understand. ❤

I wish the same care and urgent action given to the Ukrainians was also extended to Tigrayans. Tigrayans have been starved for over a year and the international “community” is silent, we’re “interconnected” until it involves helping Africans. It’s not what-aboutism, it’s valid criticism towards countries that pick and choose who is deserving of sympathy and support, with the main criteria being the victims have to be white.

I think your cat is saying they know a thing or two about obsession... 😂

If i saw you walking down the street, Id think you have a screw or two missing too many and in comparison I would be that one ,which actually makes me happy 😊 Thanks again🙏

this video helped me start my journey to healing after a breakup. thank you. i knew I suffered from limerance but didn't know there was a term for it.

Hey Anna I hope you see this comment! I watched your entire playlist of love/relationship videos and I loved them!! I had an idea of videos that I would love to see from you and I was wondering if you would consider filming something like that: analyzing relationships from tv, shows, talking about the red flags, how they should have communicated better etc. For example, Gilmore Girls comes to my mind. There's another channel that analyzes the relationships but I would love to hear your perspective!!

There are many Americans I know that are in support of Ukraine and taking notice. It does concern us and we know this.

I didn’t know about rOCD until recently I wish someone had helped me with understanding this sooner and I appreciate your message on Ukraine thank you ❤

Are there any books/articles you would recommend about limerence?

I think it's official name is RELATIONSHIP ocd

You are doing amaizing job to raize awarness in this world. Thank You!

I wish I had found your channel sooner:( My latest breakup would’ve been avoided.

Magical hair appearance button ---> 05:04

This video is very handy for me now. Today I decided not to write to my limerent object, a guy I have a crush on...it is really not healthy for me.

This never happened to me before but since I had my first relationship I’ve been acting this way and it’s getting in the way of my life :((( I don’t think I have ocd but I have it for him sigh. I have ADHD and I never really obsess over things or am even interested but surprisingly half a year later I’m still kinda obsessed and reading into things and letting it affect my mood when he acts cold. It’s exhausting.

Yesterday I was an Australian on Twitter saying he doesn't care at all, because it's not affecting him, laughing at those who concern themselves "for no reason" and there were many agreeing with him. I'm stunned by how some people can be so ignorant.

So Cassie has this. I'm talking euphoria season 2 lol sorry, can't help it

Starts at 4:47

Thank you for your support for Ukraine

Were you born in Romania or Romanian parents? Also great job on trying to raise awareness

Ii have this problem. And I need to admit it as the first stage to heal. May God see me through.

Enjoying your videos, great help ❤️

Well that explains why all my relationships end

Damn, i think that I am limerente T_T Thanks for your advices

Those eyes Ana..quite remarkable.

Impressive Lady and contents. Thank you very much

Excellent video, thank you Ana

Thank you for the video Dr. Ana. I experienced a limerence epsiod recently. I had experienced this few times in my adult life. I did not know what it was but I kind get it. As you said it is unhealthy unattachment which will not result anything good. Last time I have used SSRis for very short period of time and it worked well. I guess if it is something prone for someone who is low in sorotonin which I think is more likely in my case, just like someone who is deficient in Vitamin B or Vitamin D, would it be benefitical to take medication directly and address that issue first? I took very small dose of SSRis which already improved my situation. The SSRis does have some side-effects for me but nothing unmanageable. I feel numb and slow sometimes.

at 4:35 it starts.😊

Hello ana, i just discovered your channel and i al loving it as i am a psychology junkie haha. Can you please do a vid on retroactive jelousy x OCD. Thank you :)

As a Romanian, do you have any idea of how Romanians have been treated in Ukraine for the oast 10 years?? They are not allowed to speak their language, schools and churches were distroyed by Ukrainians.