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Experienced divorce lawyer here. In my experience, nearly all heterosexual women want a strong, masculine man with strong boundaries and who can take the lead. If you are a guy reading this, level up in all areas of your life. Be willing to walk away from anyone or anything that no longer aligns with your life or goals. Don’t be a doormat. Set boundaries. Never tolerate shit testing. You can thank me later.

i loved her line that “when women are in love with a man, thry can’t help but play stupid games” 😂. it’s true except it’s also self sabotage & a wise secure man will inevitably always walk away. he’s looking for comfort, not drama

It really hurts that you're considered less masculine for being too nice. What kind of a horrible world we live in

I’m jealous of you guys that have access to all this info/help. I wish I had access to this when I was young . I made so many mistakes ,and yeah I also grew up without my dad. When he was around, all I saw was them fight, and he constantly cheated. I told myself I wouldn’t treat women like he did, but I went too far with it and it lead to me getting walked over without realizing what I was doing wrong. I’m old now and won’t get those years back, but my hope is that you young men learn these lessons early ,cuz you have no excuses now. I hope you have more fun in this stage of life than I did. I want ya’ll to WIN.

This is why I spent 10 years alone. Happiest time of my life. The only mistake I made was getting into another relationship.

"Protected, protected, feel protected, protect" ..."Strong and independent" women want to "feel" Protected but when actual protection shows up then its "controlling" etc.

This not being the nice guy is stupid. I understand you shouldn't be a push over, but if you're simply just a good hearted person and the other person either can't see that or doesn't want to see it then that's their problem.

My own life with an absent father confirms what Sadia is saying. Being a nice guy was absolutely detrimental, causing much resentment on my side. Fortunately, I changed this dynamic. But listen to both. They speak truth

My advice to men is to just be yourself. Don't change who you are for a woman, because most of them are scarred and confused anyway lol. I've had women call me too aggressive and women who have thought I was just "nice" and I leave both alone. Don't drive yourself insane trying to be something for a woman. The ones that make you do that are not worth it.

The real question here is obvious. If I'm not supposed to share my struggles with my significant other, talk about my personal problems but instead, as a man, I have to be a tower of strength at all times, why should I be in a relationship at all? That's why men often ask women "what do you bring to the table?" I can pay someone to take care of the house, pay someone for sex, so what's a woman's role in a man's life?

I loved her answer:.... "We can have male friends. Because we would rather have a male friend who secretly loves us then a female friend who secretly hates us." ... . womanese for we are fully aware a "male" friend would probably want to steal us away from our relationship or at least smash, but we're so selfish that we don't care so we'll gaslight our partner and pretend/treat him like he's the toxic one not caring about any psychological trauma we are causing him and even probably just use it all against him later anyway to cause even more. And just for that womans information that's not a friend that's a homie waiting to be next... because a friend wouldn't sit on the sidelines creating a vibe that would cause problems in your life/relationship meanwhile thinking his D-game would cure all your life problems.

No red blooded man would want to be simply a friend of this woman! She is absolutely gorgeous and the kind of woman that a man would die to make his own. She is beautiful, intelligent, conservative, refined, graceful and sheer class. All these male friends she says she has are just circling sharks waiting for their chance, too scared of rejection to make a pass. As a 98 year old amputee with dementia, I think my chances of a date are unlikely, but I'd give her a shot without hesitation!

I used to be friend zoned because I do not wear masks. I preferred authenticity, but women preferred to play mental games for people who want entertainment. I knew I was not good for courtship. I was better suited to be a husband. It is nice when after a few years of marriage your wife tells you "I am more in love now than when I married". A relationship is built by two people. There is some initial basic element of "compatibility" to meet each other. But relationships are built. Drama is for teenagers. Adult people fix problems talking. No one can guess what is in each other's mind.

Being Nice, whilst not being weak is being confident and self assured with who you are, period. It’s not about how we (I’m a male) treat women, it’s about how we treat ourselves. Same applies for the women.

As a reforming nice guy there's also the aspect that I never had a masculine template for boundaries. I was taught that the masculine template is toxic.

Having a strong boundary is a key. In simple terms, knowing when to say No, I don't like, I can't, I'm done, This is it, Goodbye!!!

Ask her out, break out of the friend zone one way or another…don’t be afraid of rejection.

The problem is that men who assert their authority in relationships with women are labeled as controlling, domineering, and misogynistic. If the man doesn't assert his authority, women label him as weak and lacking masculinity. While it is important that men establish boundaries with how they are treated by women and other men, this is only one part of the puzzle. The other part that is rarely discussed on this topic is a woman's unwillingness to be submissive to a man's authority. Many modern women adopt the feminist mindset. They are taught to be strong and independent and that they don't need men. Men are often disrespected by the media, society, and women. Men are portrayed as weak and incompetent and should feel lucky to even have a woman. With this feminist and cultural mindset, women disrespect men and refuse to be submissive to a man's authority. They will constantly shit test or disrespect men in relationships. If men exude masculine authority, the women will label him as controlling, domineering, aggressive, or emotionally abusive. Its a no win for men. Modern women want to have their cake and eat it too. Modern women want traditional masculine men, but they aren't traditional feminine women. The majority of modern women (specifically in the US) are narcissist, spoiled, self-entitled, self-absorbed, superficial, materialistic, promiscuous, untrustworthy, disloyal, and delusional. These women lack traditional feminine traits like humility, integrity, loyalty and compassion which are condusive to a healthy relationship. Men are essentially dealing with self-entitled, spoiled children who never take accountability for their behavior. Men shouldn't have to raise children trapped in an adult female body. Most men are willing to set boundaries but it problematic when you are dealing with a woman who is always trying to work against you. Modern women are constantly trying to be in competition with men instead of being supportive partners. Modern women are constantly adding drama to relationships instead of bringing peace and stability. Modern men have their issues but men are willing to work on themselves and take accountability. Modern women on the other hand are told they are perfect from birth (especially attractive women) and they have no incentive to improve themselves and take accountability for their behavior. Modern women only focus on external superficial qualities while neglecting the internal intrinsic core values that would make them good partners. Bottomline is men need to establish boundaries with women, but women are making this extremely difficult by not being feminine and submissive. This is why there is a growing trend in men avoiding relationships with women. Men are just tired of the BS. Men have good reasons for avoiding relationships with women such as biased divorce laws and the rise of promiscuous and disloyal women. I would argue that "nice" men who do not assert authority and set boundaries is only a small part of the problem with current dating market. The main problem is actually the rise of low value women... to the shock and horror of our culture who blames every problem in society on men. Sadly, the average modern woman is not a good, reliable long-term partner nowadays. She's more than likely narcissist, self-entitled, self-absorbed, disloyal, promiscuous and unwilling to be a supportive partner. There are still high value women out there but unfortunately, they are overshadowed by the low value women. Good luck guys

I think disagreeableness is a quality of a good man. If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything.

WOW... It struck hard on me when she said the lack of a father contributes to be a people pleaser. I lost my father when I was a baby, I have a huge problem of being a pleaser and unable to set boundaries. I had huge problems with women with short-lived relationships. Now that I´ve been learning this over the years I´m trying hard to change it.

Why can't I just expect the woman that I am with to act like an adult? If men an women are equal, then why is it the man's responsibility to teach a grown woman how to behave?

I'm a nice guy, but I don't tolerate childish behavior from an adult. I can go from nice guy to military dad in a second. Yes, I know my nice guy behavior may not seem masculine to women, but I'd rather be genuinely nice than a prick. A woman who only sees me as a nice guy tells me she doesn't care enough to get to know me.

the way men can escape the friend zone, is by getting a passport and dating real women elsewhere in the world

Yes it’s hard to be nice yet masculine because everyone calls it toxic masculinity which is massively annoying

How she points out everything so much near accurately? Especially in these kinda subject.It's fascinating..Always love to hear her insights. There's always something clicks on mind every time.

My God the mental gymnastics that women use is fucking astounding. Like, how do they even keep up? Men have to do this, but if they do this too little or too much, they're not sexually viable anymore. Men have to do that, but oh shit, she had to tell you to do one of the five things that you do for her, so now you can't protect her. But they will gladly get spread eagle for the dude that is literally cheating right in front of her. I'm so glad that I learned this lesson early on. I feel bad for the timid, average looking dudes currently in their 20s. Have fun boys.

I have heard these explanations many times through the years but the way she explains it makes it so much clearer.

I loved how strong she is , not only in love advice but I’m life as well. She didn’t let mainstream media to push her to ignore the genocide in Gaza. She’s a human in all senses

As ive gotten older i can definitley walk away from disrepectful behaviour.

Ive never heard this stuff explained so clearly and simply before. Every thing she says is so easy to understand and resonate with. Sadia has a real talent for communication. Beauty and brains..what a combo!

I love how this chap questions , answers and his insight and observations are great.

One thing I've found hard about having female friends is that their boyfriends are always suspicious. It only works if I vibe with the guy too. Have to be friends with the couple.

Everytime I watch your content. It feels like you are talking directly to me. I used to be that people pleasing weak guy, and always ended up with the same girl/women. And I never understood why, untill recently

if you want to see the true character of a person give them power and see what they do with it. Enough said.

The problem is not being nice but lack of masculinity and boundaries. Perfectly said.

This is probably the number 1 question asked by guys seeking relationship advice, brilliantly reframed so it can be understood from a female perspective.

The friendzone isn't as bad at all, hahaha :) - Great to know. 😂 But what i've experienced is that i've been friends for years, few years with female(s). Sure, learned a lot from them. But there always pops up, some stupid thing, which they stab you in the back. And i can't stand that and cannot accept bad behavior and cut them off immediately. The female who did it, will never return, eventually the "friendship" ends. They can't say "I'm sorry, that ... this/that". Well, she didn't. In evolutionairy psychology: i read that women are narcissistic in their nature as compensation for 30% less muscle-power. So they needed manipulation/narcissistic traits to survive and will never say "sorry" (an element of narcissism). I think it's that simple, why men cannot stay friends w/women. Women are survival-creatures and therefore mostly me me me me me (and kids).

A man needs to be a good captain. You could see a captain being defeated but you know he did his absolute best to win, you can even see him show concern or frustration while keeping a will to fight. It is different when the captain panics or shows a defeated attitude before the crew or shows self pity.

I just learned the meaning of the word "Nice" .....Nice, it turns out, began as a negative term derived from the Latin nescius, meaning “unaware, ignorant.” This sense of “ignorant” was carried over into English when the word was first borrowed (via French) in the early 1300s. I can see this because being nice does get a person hurt from being unaware or ignorant to RED FLAGS, that usually happens....you've said in a previous video that women tell men exactly who they are at the very beginning but we guys are 'NICE' or really ignorant of all the signs a women gives us that she isn't truly interested

If it ( someone) costs you your peace it's too expensive

I've got to say...this is one of the best podcasts I've heard in a long while when it comes to relationships between men and women. I've been in a predicament with a woman that I have known for three years and managed to put myself in the friend zone. I've listen to Sadia talking about these things and she is so right about why I failed. Thank you and well done.

An amazing conversation! Thank you both!

What you said about fathers is so true. A good, involved father is everything. Also, growing up in a friend group of boys and girls, where you play together, listen to music together, talk together. It gives you a strong baseline of understanding that can last a lifetime.

I swear I just did everything backwards. WAKE UP CALL. Thank you, Sadia !

This was a very compact and interesting segment. Well done by both. And I would agree, having female friends help the guy understand female psychology without destroying him.

I've friend zoned plenty of unfriendly uncooperative cruel self centered women who are just looking for a father figure to sponsor them.

Yes, very simple, but very true. That´s the way things are, and , in these situations, we have to evolve and adapt.

Yes this is true , I always gave the nice guy a chance but he became a yes man and I always lose respect and intrest , be a leader and have firm boundaries then you nice guys will win , we want to feel safe

100% accurate explanation. Totally on point 👈, it is exactly the psicology behind

Hats off to this woman! Until I stumbled across Sadia on social media I whole heartedly and physiologically believed that it was impossible for any woman (due to her biological make up) to truly explain how women think about and perceive men. We must treasure this woman at all costs, the mental strength she has to overpower all her intense and scattered emotions is astonishing, to enable us guys to understand the female psyche in a way that ultimately no other woman can! Thank you, Sadia!

This is Awesome. I'm so glad we're starting to have these conversations. #love #respect

. It is a common belief that no matter what we do, we can never fully satisfy someone, whether they are a man or a woman. While it is important to establish boundaries and be a good person, it is challenging to be someone who truly understands and ignites the essence of genuine love. If we constantly set limits, we may never succeed as a partner. Perhaps the key lies in convincing others that the root cause of our problems is the inherent flaws in humanity and the presence of malevolence in our lives. Simply walking away from a situation does not equate to learning; comprehending the true nature of our significant other is an entirely different matter. Admittedly, there are times when we mistakenly invest our time in the wrong individuals, and changing our behavior remains an ongoing discussion without a definitive solution.

Nothing and no one can make a woman happy other than herself, and when she is happy with herself, she will be able to relate to you consciously and communicate clearly so you're never cut off in silence because you don't know what you've done wrong to upset her, when she is her own happiness she is not co-dependant on you to make her happy and will call you out in the moment of anything less than conscious, because she wants to share her happiness with a conscious man who is also his own happiness, in that she has compassion because she who knows that she is a loving kind conscious being and not just using you to entertain her narcissistic ego only to discard you when she trips you up with her crap tests, which maybe unconscious checking that can can handle her at her worst to deserve her at her best. If you fail, then you are of no value. Learn your lesson, let go, move on and be better prepared to win the next challenge, stand tall warrior in your own truth, never surrender to falsehood, and always call her out on her nonsense, with kindness and gentleness as a gentleman and yet with firm leadership, if you don't lead then she will follow someone else. Woman gives birth to men to lead, if she is emasculating you, then she is not your one.

Simple. Stop trying to date women who do not like you. Either be happy sticking as her friend or stop being her friend.

so basically, call her out on bs, and be willing to leave if the BS is beyond tolerable

The answer: BE ATTRACTIVE.

The whole having female friends is maybe good in your teenage years and 20s, but if you haven’t learned anything by 30 then thinking you need female friends is not a good idea.

Same for woman. If your too nice men take you for granted until your forced to walk away.

There's a mindset shift required for you to remain healthy and feel it is congruent with you, acting healthy doesn't appear to GIVE you what you want but it actually does. It makes the people not receptive to your healthiness not like you, it gives you what you perceive as negative i.e. not getting the girl, which is actually the positive. The rejection becomes a good thing because you know you're from a place of healthiness the issue actually lies with the other person at that point.

I kind of want to watch the rest of the podcast ,this was an interesting one

I am "nice", but if you push to far I can be worse than serial killer and I am capable of Samson option and don't care about my life and life of others involved. I am nice because I don't want to make trouble, because I know how things could go very bad. So I am rather nice to some extent than being to much selfish. Some people could see being nice as sign of weakness but they are unaware what some "nice guys" are capable of. By the way, Sadia is somewhat smart, and her looks makes her a favour to spread her message. But she hit the wall and blames older men because they like younger women, as this is biologically ingrained in male human species.

Sadia has most points right and totally sorted.

Very good knowledge Sadia. Thank you.

im 25 and never had a girlfriend and used to be a people pleaser..i relate to what you said about "treat them mean" having an absent father (he was there physically just not emotionally) and i ended up being clingy for most of my life..my father never taught me anything about dating or relationships or sex and im not sure if that was his job anyways. i've always had low self esteem and getting rejected by girls in school made it even worse...i remember being friends with girls in school but i think they eventually distanced themselves from me because they thought i was trying to court them or something even though it was not my intention. when women reject me they are always bitchy about it..i have never heard a woman say "not interested" ever it's always been some kind of degrading comments about my looks or what i said..im not scared of rejection im scared of getting humiliated again so i ask out women less... because of years of women being mean to me in that regard..when women are nice to me nowadays it feels very strange and i dont know how to react...i've been complimented only once in my life it was about 5 ot 6 years ago and a girl said i was cute and i remember not knowing what to say so i panicked and walked away. When women are nice to me nowadays i feel like there is some ulterior motive behind their action. i've always struggled feeling worthy but ive been going to therapy for several years now and i am getting better at it but i find it difficult to put myself out there to meet women and balancing that with my career. so yea what you say about being volatile is definitely something i relate to and once i get into a relationship my fear is that i just panick and wont know what to do or how to react and that could be a potential problem. I'm not scared of commitment i am just unsure of the chaos as you said.

The answer for me has always been, "Be the leader." My approach has been, "Hey look, here is where I plan to go with my life. I'm looking for a woman would would be my force multiplier. If you aren't cool with that, I'm not picking you to join my team." Helps that I've been elected as leader to many different organizations and have been called a natural leader. "Nice guys" irritate me as well. They are spineless people with no sense of direction in life; they make lousy followers much less leaders.

Very clear interview. Great insight.

Wow we needed a podcats about this bs as well

Easy way to avoid the their friend zone is - don't be their friend, its not to hard.

Surely only children need boundaries.

A very honest and straightforward talk by both him and her. I've seldom seen a man and a woman honestly acknowledge and admit that they both live in separate, seemingly unconnected, mutually impenetrable worlds, and that male and female brains are wired differently, therefore causing all the communication barriers which make well-succeeded dating so hard to attain. This insight alone is no doubt a good starting point for correcting relationship mistakes and starting to set things straight, by realizing that men's and women's intentions almost NEVER match, and that's where all the confusion and misunderstanding comes from, i.e., when you say, "how can he/she have understood this/that, when I was meaning right the opposite?" In fact, a mating between a man and a woman is truly a miracle if we think about it and considering how different and disparate men and women really are.

She is so spot on!

Sorry I will say that since I don't want to get anyone offended but I hope it can be of any help. Speaking from my personal point of view these are the 2 great turn offs I very often see men tend to do to please the object of their desires (and I put a disclaimer here - I am not a relationship professional or something): The first thing is ignoring their wants and needs just to please the person they like - for example changing their opinion on something just because that person expressed an opposite of theirs' point of view. Putting you immediately in a weak - willed, submissive position (absolutely opposite to the masculine energy); Very simple example to make things clear: Group of people decide where to go to lunch. Boy A says - let's go to this new Italian restaurant. I heard they make very nice pasta". Girl B says: "Oh I don't really like pasta. Let's go for sushi". And the case is closed - everyone goes for sushi, even though boy A hates sushi. Even worse: Boy A says - let's go wherever Girl B decides. I know of course any relationship with people is build on compromises but it shouldn't be always on you. Good way to handle such situation is - point out that this is not your best option but this time it will be on you; and next time it should be you to decide. Please make sure your opinion is well heard and also taken care of. Don't be afraid to express your opinion even though it won't match the one of the masses. Actually it is more often the people with the different opinion who stand out. Second thing - an extension to the "good guy" topic - being overly nice even though the person really showed no interest or even worse - they clearly told you they have no interest. I think it is not that hard to tell if someone likes you or not. If they made it clear that they are not interested and you still keep pushing yourself, making unwanted offers still trying to please them - this makes things even worse. This actually makes this worse even for the other person, too, because it puts them in an unsettling position to feel obliged to keep responding to you, since well you are a nice guy right, so they have to be nice with you, as well, even though they really don't feel and want that connection. If you really feel that your interest is not reciprocated, please have the dignity to move on, there is plenty of fish in sea!

Sadia made a video about "why women who earn more leave". If she works hard she still wants to come home and have him take care of her. So then, she is taking on the leading role of provider, he is taking on the submissive caring role. She is masculine, he is feminine. These "nice, caring" men get seen as weak and it never ends well.

You just gained a new subscriber ❤️

Finding female friends who don't get jealous is nearly impossible when you're female. Men will just say what they think. It's refreshing.

>90% Male-female friendships are not sincere. Usually the guy want something else and the female uses him for free male attention. 🤣

Have flexible boundaries, you won't get a long term relationship because the woman starts to hate you. Have firm boundaries, a woman leaves you after a decade or more because she feels "never heard". That's the reality. Sadia is naive. She's always bang on about how women feel though, that friends bit was platinum.

This woman is the wisest woman I’ve ever heard 🙏🏻

The more I listen to this woman, the more I appreciate her. She thinks like a woman, but her logic is so agreeable. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

They get bored with nice guys as well, they need some kind of thrill, even if that is a bit chaotic or slightly distant

I love your work, Sadia. My friends and I personally typed you.

THIS completely destroys the need of doing things together, taking decisions together.

Thank for sharing this useful information. Good bless you:)

@Sadia & Chris - There is a LOT of value to having female friends BUT you need to pick them EXTREMELY carefully. Because you are entering friendship where SHE holds almost all the cards because in the same way "a birthday party" can ruin the friendship but also destroys your current romantic relationship in the process. It is like entering a minefield with clown shoes on. The benefits are real if she is on your side, but you need to need to be very aware AND have a very clear filter on the advice that is given. - Often even if it is genuine. I think for most men who are asking for help, this is a very bad place to start, but a great way to get to understand womanese.

I’m an attractive, educated, fit, hardworking and humble woman who is always friend zoned by men.. I’m usually described as “unique” which I hate.. I’m starting to think I’m too much for an average man who usually likes the shallow superficial and materialistic woman

Wow, you have just perfectly described the Will Smith situation. That toxic 304 rather be in love with a dead man than a simp.

I have the willingness to never get started and just do what I want.

It means simply in general women they don't know what they want. They say they want a nice guy then they say he is so soft. Then, they say they want the rich but they don't like that he cheats or he has lots of options. They say they want the player but those men don't want to commit and they became angry. Then they say we want the handsome but that handsome has hundreds of beautiful women as friends and they don't like that either. After all of that they become lonely single women with a cat and they are the feminists and say all men are bad.

As a man, who’s dated a LOT, at 57, you can have women as acquaintances, but as far as hanging out or doing things together, you can, but one of these people thinks it’s going somewhere at sometime. Or one you is very ugly. 😅

Right up until he makes a decision she doesn't like and/or has negative consequences then he's inconsiderate, a jerk, bad communicator and a fool.

It starts with a dishonest approach, trying to stop rejection at all costs. Men do it to themselves via dishonesty It clearly has to be romantic to start.

If you're having female friends and considering them as a training ground. That's when they get hooked and the friendship is nolonger a friendship. If the guy or lady has much to give and the opposite gender gravitates towards them. That in itself if a point of attraction in itself that causes attachment. There will always be the person who likes the other more in such cases and goes on to love more deeply. I honestly don't think men and women can be "just friends" That is if we're talking of friendship it it's truest sense. Close colleagues, acquaintances, workmates... That could be possible. But out of that bubble. Naaaa

Listen to Casey Zander; he understands women's psychology like no other

Do not take my kindness for weakness!

this is why I'm nice... keeps that distance healthy...

A lot of passive aggressive, manipulative men pretend to be “nice guys” so they can get what they want from you and women see through the bs. And then these guys blame women for not choosing “nice guys”. These so called nice guys have an agenda to begin with.

sadia valid asf this whole podcast. no sugar coating, no bs, all raw truth.

I have boundaries. I say bye and never see her again. What use is that ?

Thank you for the truthful knowledge.