"Enjoy and appreciate them when you have them, and surrender them with love and gratitude when it's time to let go." What a great lesson. Thank you.

Episode 3. Yoda: you must train yourself to let go of the things you fear to lose.

This is the blessing of being stripped of everything. Be it by disease, war, or divorce if you survive having everything taken from you, you will be indestructible. The hard part is letting it all go.

Spoken like a true Stoic philosopher. Thanks, brother.

Understanding what needs to be done in order to achieve this kind of mindset is both liberating and heartbreakingly sad at the same time.

Don’t attach to anything but do enjoy it when ever it is in your present..

Ive taught this to my wife and have been telling my clients/students the same. Being a marine myself we are also taught this since day one of bootcamp. Civillians will call it "brainwash" but in truth its the raw perspective of how the real world works. No one cares about what youve done, not even god. Its what are you doing now/still to be of use and to keep striving and of value to those around you. Keep pushing out the content Dr.

This one was perfect for me. I was laid off from my job of 22 years along with hundreds of others. I am pretty alone in the world, no immediate family. I have friends, but really identified with my job/career as this has been a constant in my life for 42 years. I will get another job, But it is a loss. And I have been wondering about my value etc.

I have dealt with great tragedies in my life. The longest was trying to find my daughter who had been abducted by my husband when she was 3 1/2 after he beat me and tried to kill me in 1982. With help from a good friend I realized I had control over how I reacted or the actions I take in any given situation. I focused on what I had and was grateful for such. I needed to be strong and prepared to be the mother my daughter needs when I found her. It took 21 years and 4 months to find my daughter.

The reason why I identify so strongly with this monologue is because folks love “trash talking” about me to others, but hate that I don’t react to their nonsense! I am *not* my past… I am indestructible. 👑

Sounds a lot like stoicism, or am i wrong?

There are lots of people who sum up their whole identiy with politics, religion etc. From the time I was a little girl, it become clear to me that i'm nothing but pure consciousness ever eternal. But I do want to enjoy my body and the physically world while i'm in it. Haha!

"The Path to indestructibility is basically the process of systematically deidentifying from that which you falsely and unconsciously identified with sometime in your past." This is the Way

To take this even farther, it’s possible to disidentify from who you think you are - to see through the whole idea that there’s a you at all who could have anything or be anyone.

This was really the most insightful video I've heard in a long time. We define ourselves by material things, jobs, wealth, poverty, and people. These are not who we are, merely trappings. Thanks for this golden nugget of advice. So valuable.

This channel is the most enlightened psychology I've ever come across. I've always felt that in the future, there will be no psychologists, only spiritual teachers. The two will converge. This feels like the beginning of that.

This guy is a genius. I've thought some these thoughts in a jumbled sort of way but he lines it up perfectly and concisely.

this man is incredibly open-minded.

Definitely a huge message. I always knew I would loose my good looks and body if I lived long enough. And I lived long enough. What a horribly shallow thing to miss so terribly. (Probably a symptom of our shallow society). I only knew my grandparents in their old age and alway thought of them as beautiful, because they were beautiful people inside. This definitely helped.

Did you read some perennialism before doing this? This is by far the most spiritual advise you have given, even if you are presenting it in a secular way. You are not your ego (your external self, your status and phenomenological circumstances), you’re the conscience that observes that ego. Culturaly, the identification with the ego and the materialism it has produced, has played a big role since the Protestant reformation and in the creation of modernity. That’s part of the reason why for us modern men it’s extremely difficult to actually put in practice this advise. Religiously, this is one of the core ideas in most religions: You’re an incarnated soul, but you are way more than the incarnated experience, so you should save your soul first, then the other things will come along. “Seek first the kingdom of god... “ Thanks for this, man. Your work is gold.

Sorry this is long folks...My first lesson was in OCS. They mentally break you down, over and over again, using fatigue and little sleep. (I can honestly say I hallucinated on the 4th day of sleep deprivation). OCS is different from regular basic or other schools, because they can do WHATEVER they want to you! There are no real rules except, not to kill you. I came out of that experience mentally hard as a rock. Secondly I worked in a jail. Convicts will do and say anything to get your attention, you learn to let things roll right off your back. I also learned that institutional "rules" or codes really don't matter in the end. If they want to hire someone, contract someone or assign you double workloads, they can do it...that also means that when people tell you NO, that is not correct. THERE IS ALWAYS AN ALTERNATIVE! They just don't have a reason or the motivation to respond to your request. I've seen administrators literally move mountains to make something happen when properly motivated (usually allowing them to think that they will get credit for something big/innovative while you have the hidden evidence in your email that it was all you...:). Later when I divorced, my ex-wife knew me well (I'm a psychologist also), and she knew EXACTLY which triggers and buttons to push to get me to say or behave (likely for the purpose of secretly recording me during the divorce and custody actions). My very wise lawyer, pointed out that ANYTHING my ex said, was not necessarily what the law and the judge would agree with. The only reason that I "reflexively" listened to her was because we were partners for 10+ years). My ex's opinion (and ability to trigger me) went right out the window. I learned to respond with three things to EVERYONE PROBLEMATIC IN LIFE!!!. 1. IF it may have merit..."I'll have to carefully consider that and get back to you." 2. You definitely don't agree..."I'm afraid I don't agree and we'll have to have that decided by a neutral party", and 3. If its nasty and you simply want to drive them INSANE!..."I'm not sure what to think of that...hmm." (stare as if they are speaking another language.) I truly found that by providing a non-answer to an adversary leaves them speechless, and since they didn't get the response they wanted, they become frustrated themselves. Since you don't respond either positively or negatively they will eventually obsess about your thoughts, intentions and purposes. I found they will attempt to PROJECT whatever "pre-framed" ideas they had onto your answers...without you saying another word. Sorry this is so long. Just had my share of nasty people in my life and I had to come to peace with how I dealt with them. I am the rock in the stream and I let trivial things flow around and past me until the disappear out of sight. Ask yourself, "will I really care about this in five years?" ***Orion...I love your work. if you'd like to confer/discuss sometime as professionals (APA and toxic masculinity??) leave a reply to this comment and I will contact you through our professional channels and use linked-in. I'm a CA. psychologist also, I'm sure I can find you via our associations. I also work with mostly male adults. AS you know, I have to use a pseudonym to avoid being Doxxed as a professional male in today's atmosphere. Thanks for being brave.

"...they inappropriately identify with external reality." Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. This is exactly what the great spiritual traditions have been saying all along. It's good to see that a psychologist understands this. Identity is not just in the material world, but it's grounded in the spiritual non-physical world as well.

I see this in my corporate life. You get people who become their job and title. Then they get depressed the day they get laid off, and they can no longer be that person they loved.

What you said about holding these things lightly, not clinging and grasping to desperately hold on really resonated with me. We must learn to gracefully surrender to the inevitable losses of life but remain grateful for our true essence, the only thing we can never truly lose.

I read something similar in a Buddhist book. It was said that since everything changes with time, clinging to a fixed image will only lead to unnecessary pain. Nice to see something similar on the psychology channel.

When I retired I noticed an almost instantaneous change from "There`s our city manager" (my job), to "There's Duncan (my dog) and that fat old guy who walks him".

The capacity of being indestructible for some people also comes in the belief that you gain security and power in immortality, security and power that the belief in Spirit allows

After a terrible event in my life I felt emotionally trapped in the memory of it. The moment played on a loop in my head for months on end and I couldn't escape. It was hell. Then I found a great therapist who educated me on deidentification and EMDR. He helped me to break free of the ugly emotional cycle. Now the terrible moment is simply part of my past but doesn't define me at all. There is no emotional trigger. I am forever grateful. Life is beautiful.

This video is a snapshot of my life over the past 6 years, and you nailed it again Doctor. I lost everything, attempted suicide twice, 1st on April 8, 2019, and again on October 30, 2020, awoke at 4:20 the next morning and said aloud softly, how I am still here? Voluntarily committed myself to a 10 day Psyche Evaluation on November 3, 2020, and was put on 50mg of Sertraline. lived in a garage for 11 months, froze at night, but revolutionized and rehabilitated my creative ability in Photoshop after working on extremely high end advertising digital campaigns, and Fortune 500 Annual Reports since 1983. Now that my personal torturers, my father, my two older brothers, my ex-wife, and her oil commodities brother from Texas were all out of my life forever, I rebounded and ascended dramatically. You are not your things, your reputation, your wealth, or your social media coverage, but who you are at the core of your being. The people that helped me ascend back into being a creative juggernaut were my fellow felon inmates, drug dealers, drug users, thieves, child support law breakers, and detention officers, probation officers, definitely not what one would expect. By Doctor they gave me respect, kindness, friendship, affirmation, and dignity that my own wealthy family, and my ex-wife's family ruthlessly and emotionally tortured from me for 65 years. Both highly religious families detested my drive, intellect, incredible creative ability because I was driven form the age of 4 to be extraordinary, and not just a median go along to get along Christian. to both families eviscerated by the Great Depression and made wholly dysfunctional, to aspire to be the best, surpassed by no one was a mortal sin, and they could not torture that out of me. so now 8 days into my 70 year I am doing the best, most creative, and trailblazing work of my entire life. So yes, if those around you can't take from your core, the things that can not be taken away by anyone, you can become indestructible. Now this next point is critical, kindness, thoughtfulness, empathy, and respect for all empowers me in ways you would find hard to imagine. I have found that for me personally, there is a direct Karmic link between breakthroughs in creativity, knowledge, and deep historical insights and the concepts of equanimity, and thoughtfulness that can not be overstated. You Sir are Brilliant, and I appreciate what you are doing more than you will ever know, you're that good. A word to the wise, live in equanimity, and thoughtfulness all your days.

This concept of deidentification is the basis of stoicism. Thanks for the explanation Dr.

Thank you. 🙏🏻This acceptance is an integral part of aging & maturing. I am learning to accept & let go of that which will be gone with time anyway , and it has made me somewhat more patient, somewhat less anxious , and somewhat more accepting of shortcomings in others , as I am coming face to face with my increasingly longer list of limitations, that come inevitably with age.

Now I finally understand what I’m not, but I still don’t quite understand what I am..

I bet you've won best essay at least once in your student life. 😂 Your analogies are so vivid and apt. Your ideas are on point. Bravo!

This is why religion is so vital, since we all need some level of identity to operate in the world, but if you strive to make your identity the fact you're a child of God and nothing but that, then you become indestructible since that status can never diminish or be taken away, not ever. Amazing vid, thanks.

The is the most important advice I have ever gotten in my life. It has done more for me than years of psychotherapy and antidepressants.

Love your channel.. Blend of psychology & philosophy 😊

Your most insightful short I've encountered, thank you 🙏💙

Feel it. For a long time i identified with my job: I "am a webdesigner". Everytime there was a problem with my work, I made that problem to a problem "I had", to a problem that "I am" This got even to the point of me having panik attacks everytime something needed to be changed (which is normal in my job). I though, that "I" messed up. But then I started to think "I am not a webdesigner, I just do webdesign". Its not what I am, its what I just do. And my reaction to the same sh*t got waaay smaller. So thank you for expaining it in other words. It all makes sense.

Your approach is so logical! Amazing!

This is one of the most important videos I've ever seen. Very well done! Thank you, sir!

This was a A1 from start to finish. Earned a subscriber Doc

Why is this guy so underrated? He is truly a good source of information, on his niech. Thanks man. Maybe you are not underrated and maybe I just felt that way. But you have my respect and trust. Long live.

This is so appropriate for my life right now. I appreciate. The way you explain the topics you cover.

Thank you for this deep insight❤️ I’ve been on a journey of self discovery and self love for about a year, and one thing I remind myself of is to let go of resentment. It goes in line with what your saying to appreciate what you have and treat things lightly. Awesome video!

This is really good stuff. This feels like it could tie to road rage in ones life. Perhaps an in depth video on that subject should help save someone from themselves. Yours is my new favorite channel. Thank you!

The kind of 'unidentification' (Liberation) you're talking about here doesn't tend to happen without undertaking serious and at first very challenging introspective self observation techniques. May all beings find their own true path to discovering the ultimate truths of their suffering and be free of it 🌳💜

This is a unique and simple way to reframe our way of seeing ourselves. Thanks a bunch.

Very insightful, timely and timeless, thanks!

I really like this one, it allowed me to detach a lot of the worldly things I have and separate myself from it. The mailbox concept really hit it home so nice one, keep it up

Very well said and so absolutely true! The whole of life becomes an act of letting go. The important thing is go with the flow when its time.

Orion, I think this is the best video you’ve made. Thank you very much.

Thank you. I've been losing those things. I needed to hear this.

So much value in all your videos

One of the best videos on the channel! Thank you! I really appreciate touching such a profound and important issue!

Your content is very valuable to me. It's rich in applicable wisdom. I'm so pleased to have found your channel. Thank you for what you provide.

As a Brazilian I was informed that I should be watching Brazil play at the World Cup, but instead I’m here watching Dr. Taraban’s video. That is a true goal. And I’m probably gonna be deported to Argentina after that… lol

Doc, that was amazing! I was having a mental day and that message got me back focused! Thank u

this is your best video bro. this is how you achieve complete resilience in a chaotic world. It's the most amazing feeling in life

Thank you. This might be my biggest problem in my life and have caused me incredible psychological pain as I have identified completely with my job and marriage to the extent that any slight to that will become an enormous personal attack. You are 100% right and I will have to start the process of de-identifying with that. Not sure how but I will have to start and succeed or it will destroy me. Thanks again for the enormous insight.

These videos are so good. Very insightful and present a new perspective. Highly recommend

Wow... you are a gifted communicator. thank you for your videos. They are incredibly helpful in my life

I am listening to you since one week and it's really helpful in understanding basic human phychology and a lot more things which I didn't understand earlier... Thanks for making these videos ❤

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”

Humility, smart intelligence, power, care ,this man is admirable... thank you.

This is such an eye opening message. Love it🏅

This is certainly a stoicism frame of mind/thinking. Great message and lesson. Thank you!

This video is truly a gem.

Great video, thanks brother. Reminds me of this great piece of advice; never attach your identity or self worth to anything you have or want. Being smart, funny, rich, good looking, etc all are fleeting and transient, instead focus on the the fact that you are the observer and the learner. Being able to take this moment in and reflect on it, learn from it, and then make changes to your life as you see fit. always learning, always growing. As Navy Seals say, never out of the fight.

Greatb segment! Thank you!

Thanks! Keep speaking this wisdom. Your reputation will grow, but ultimately the truth of who you really are is all that actually matters.

Your every video teaches something new. Thank you for giving this information

Excellent info. This is very helpful. Thank you!

I subconsciously did this very thing over the last few years. Somehow I shed my old skin for a new one, transforming into a simpler being. Letting go of ego. Letting go.

Doc that piece of advice may just well be your best one so far!

Hi Dr. Yes thank you for this video, I absolutely agree. I discovered this over a year ago and it really does work. “The moment you identify with what you are not, you will not be able to stop your thought process”. - Anonymous.

An interesting idea I hadn't considered before. There are a handful of things that immediately spring to mind when I think of examples of things I have or things I do that I identify with. Food for thought, thanks for this.

Really interesting point you make there. Thank you!

Wow, What can I say, My heart is open now Please keep on what you are doing which is very honest and direct. We need healing not comfroting words with out any ability to change people 👍🙂

Supremely wise advice. Thank you!

You're awesome! I've been watching your videos for some weeks now and I admire how you explain things. Thank you for your service.

Boy lots of wisdom there at such a young age, knowing the human condition that well. Keep it truthful, blessings

Excellent reflection, thanks sharing

Amazing. Thank you brother. Keep sharing such gems.

You are talking abbot Robert Kegan's "Ways of knowing" Nice!

Great content about deidentification. More content about this subject would be appreciated.

Really appreciate your talks, thank you!

Yes, very comforting in a way.

This is gold and how I have tried to be.... thank you.

Fascinating how so much of what you talk about is essentially classical yoga as taught by Patanjali and Tiramoolar.

Thank you for this very important lesson/reminder!

Brilliant insights. Thank you Orion

Thank you so much for this. It's so very helpful to hear.

Necessary information and knowledge that everyone should have!

Outstanding content as usual.

Amazing concept!!👍👍

That was a straightforward repercussion. It happened 📆

Thanks from Mexico! You're the best.

Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. To be indestructible, you must first understand how you are destructible. From a psychological perspective, you are destructible when you inappropriately identify with external reality. This basically means that you conflate what you have with who you are. This is dangerous, as any threat to a possession with which you are identified will be experienced psychologically as a threat on your essential being. However, if you can identify yourself with your self, then who can have power over you? I'll explain more in this episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com

great explanation and great info.

Dude! one of the best advise that i have listened.......thanks