How to be non-punitive but not permissive!

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How to be non-punitive but not permissive!

Рет қаралды 4,738

Күн бұрын

Come on over to mamablog.teach-... and join in the discussion and let me know how YOU stay conscious and non-punitive!
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Welcome! I'm Lori, and I founded Teach Through Love because I'm passionate about helping adults resolve daily conflicts and nurture children's development by using conscious communication.
Parents, teachers, and caregivers are the most influential people in a child's life. My Conscious Parenting Courses and Communication Cards have helped thousands of parents and professionals break free of reactive patterns and unconscious beliefs about "discipline" that keep them stuck in negative cycles with kids.
I want to help adults increase cooperation and connection by communicating in ways that help kids feel heard and capable of change. We can help them reach their full potential and learn to solve conflicts and collaborate with others when we shift how we respond to their needs and feelings.
Lori Petro I TEACH through Love
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Пікірлер: 14

@andriizamkovyi423 Жыл бұрын

Great video!

@chelseacampbell5600 5 жыл бұрын

Metacognition (or understanding your own thinking) is probably the hardest part. Once you get past that first step, it's amazing to see how well kiddos respond to you helping them reflect their emotions. It can help to ask yourself in the moment, "Am I responding to this behavior in a loving way, or am I just reacting based on my own emotions?" We lead by example.

@malraggas7321 10 жыл бұрын

perfect work

@teachthroughlove 10 жыл бұрын

Thank you for watching M!

@AlliV286 5 жыл бұрын

I needed this badly.

@nancyacefitness 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you I hope this message gets to more people. This is what our children need

@finflwr 10 жыл бұрын

Amazing : ) Good Words.

@roywilkie9577 2 жыл бұрын

This is all just well-intentioned speculative misappropriation of psychology. Non-punative does effectively equal permission, in the long run. I work at a middle school whose approach to dealing with misbehavior is along the same lines as this. It's a disaster. The kids behavior is out of control, they've had to replace half of their staff in one school year. Teachers keep quitting because they don't even feel safe, the kids are so out of control all the time. It's a 300 6-8th grade charter school with tons of resources, but the kids are underperforming and constantly misbehaving. They curse constantly, flagrantly break rules with impunity. It's disgraceful. Teachers have gotten death threats, have been assaulted. This non-punative approach does not work. Kids need to know there are consequences to their actions, there are outcomes, good or bad. Seriously, think about it: When a student pretends to jab his friend with a drill in wood shop class, should we "investigate the situation with flexibility, affection, and _playfulness_"!? (her words) No! Be inflexible! We should not be playful with power tools, even when talking about them. We should not be playful with regards to making racist slurs against classmates. If we don't take their behavior seriously, neither will they, and it will continue to degrade. Believe me, I see it happen every day. The same rules apply at home. Maybe instead of intervening just to make your precious-little-one feel heard and invalidated, you should take control - like an adult - and demonstrate that doing bad things will result in bad outcomes, just as much as doing good things will result in good ones. Maybe it's better to let them deal with their own emotions so that they can build resiliance, instead of expecting so little of them that they inevitably continue to behave like infants with infantile emotional regulation. Be the boss, don't request, demand that they act right. Then you can be nice after they do.

@teachthroughlove 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing. It sounds like a difficult spot your community is in. I can assure you it’s not because of non-punitive discipline. More likely the result of not putting up boundaries. You can do that without making kids feel bad about themselves. and my daughter is now 16 and has never been punished. Your school should check out Conscious Discipline. She has a large school based program. Or Lakeside Neuro in Lansdale PA for science backed programs for behaviorally challenged kids. Dr Ross Greene is another one with programs for you. Punishment with the kids you’re describing would make things 100x worse. That’s not some pop psychology- that’s science. And the research is there to back it up. Paper Tigers is a movie to watch how schools are transformed by this approach.

@marcsee4072 Жыл бұрын

It is result of non-punitive or just verbal punishment. Jordan B Pererson said it right “dont let your children do something to dislike them” it starts at home but kids at school take the “me road” all the time.

@marcsee4072 Жыл бұрын

Well said

@Tctiffany 5 жыл бұрын

Any tips on how to get the rest of the adults to play nicely with my kid? LoL. Sigh, I don't want to let my family babysit since they only want to send the, now 3yo to the room anytime there's an issue, or they want to hit my baby. I can't seem to get other adults to be understanding and work with kids. :/

@Tctiffany 5 жыл бұрын

P.s. I love this video and am sharing it everywhere!

@chelseacampbell5600 5 жыл бұрын

Struggling with the same!