How to be there for a traumatized friend and not cause more pain | Kristen Donnelly

How to be there for a traumatized friend and not cause more pain | Kristen Donnelly | TEDxChicago

Рет қаралды 11,529

2 жыл бұрын

How do you respond when someone shares their pain and despair of trauma with you? Common practices are to minimize the trauma or offer comparison. Although well meaning, Kristen Donnelly suggests that these responses can cause similar pain to the trauma itself. A social worker and researcher, Dr. Donnelly invites the audience to consider a different way to respond when encountering someone experiencing trauma. Dr Kristen Donnelly is a social worker who has studied trauma for nearly twenty years, including studying conflict zones in Rwanda, Colombia, South Africa, and Northern Ireland. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Пікірлер: 21

@rozythebawse Жыл бұрын

"Be kind, for everyone you meet has scars from battles that they have fought, is in training for battles they will fight and don't know about yet, and do not need you to tell them that those battles aren't valid." 🥺❤Thanks for bringing this concept to light in the most heart touching & educational manner as always. Respect & Love from Sri Lanka 🫡❤

@gamingmyg 3 ай бұрын

"If trauma is part of human experience,we've got to make healing part of it as well" - Kristen Donelly. That phrase is just....wow.

@raneemhusain3580 2 жыл бұрын

I am proud to say that I did the Arabic translation. Hope the Arab world enjoys it.

@AbbeyResearch 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for your service. I am so glad this will have reach beyond my language limitations. - Dr. Kristen

@latoyawolfe2572 Жыл бұрын

Jesus christ thank you so much for putting all I've been trying to say for so many years in a good light... Thank you thank you thank you

@michaelturo567 5 ай бұрын

Great insight and approach to help us be more empathetic to others ❤ thank you!

@dawnr7798 10 ай бұрын

Beautiful. I’m trying to help my son thru trauma, he has an appt for therapy but at least I can try to be the best listener and mom I can be because he talks to me.

@violetjm 7 ай бұрын

💜

@anonymousanonymous-tw3wm 3 ай бұрын

❤❤

@joshuahelmeke 3 ай бұрын

You’ve definitely done your research, Kristen. I’m so sorry to hear of the loss you shared with everyone at this talk. You’re not the only one who’s been attacked in such a manner. You’ve grown, and I hope you’ve had an opportunity to heal as well. ❤

@jacgamache 2 жыл бұрын

This is so powerful and means so much to me. Thank you, Dr. Donnelly, for the work you do.

@AbbeyResearch 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much, Jacqueline! - Dr Kristen

@bouchraanahid4496 Жыл бұрын

My bff had lost his dad recently 😢 I'm speechless and paralyzed

@ljwfree 2 жыл бұрын

This speech is really impressive.

@AbbeyResearch 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much! - Dr Kristen

@TheFirstManticore 5 ай бұрын

But what if I have inadvertantly triggered another person's trauma response? I didn't know. I wasn't even unkind. I simply didn't know that an ordinary activity could hurt him. He didn't tell me. What can I do now?

@mynameiszai Жыл бұрын

Amazing talk! I will make it work on an instagram graphic Kristen!

@PinkYellowGreen2023 7 ай бұрын

In the name of Jesus, I pray to never have to repeat the traumatic experiences I have endured. People don't care about your traumas. Don't listen when you tell them about it. Just leave you to deal with it as they keep on overlooking it or fail to acknowledge it's effect on you..😡😡😡😡

@thatoneguy8183 Жыл бұрын

So what in the world was she doing/saying to those children for that church to build a case against her for a year?? It must have been something because they don't even treat pedophilic priests like that

@cassielegaspi3158 11 ай бұрын

I kindly want to respond with not allowing someones truth be theres, not being believed. This is the very essences of what she was sharing is important and why possibly friends and others in this world will struggle on their own. I let a church know one of their pastors was being inappropriate and he got me fired and they finally caught him a year later, and then fired. No apology nothing. I had been there 8 years and this young pastor had just joined the staff and I had stellar reviews. I was not believed so I kept my mouth shut after I brought light as to be able no be treated any worse than I had by this mans lies to those I had worked with almost a decade. A man believed over a woman. However, I rarely share this but please note this is why people suffer and do not usually get help from trauma because of this reaction. Just food for thought. To be honest I may of agreed with your response 20 years ago. Maybe think about what this person is actually saying, would you have received this message or heard it differently if she did not shared this story, her story. This is all said in kindness and food for thought as to help those who have experienced trauma that may cross your path.

@agoogleuser7639 8 ай бұрын

There was a vendetta created against her for sure. I also was constantly blamed for things in my toxic work environment. I quit my almost 10 yr job because of it.