I have been a nurse for 16 years, and I'm honestly considering leaving the field. Patient satisfaction is becoming a vital sign, trumping a provider and nurses' education and training. I just fielded a complaint, a woman and her friend came in, one had strep, the other was negative. The woman who did not have strep sent a complaint because she didn't get a rx for abx, and the top heavy business personnel gave this complaint weight and forwarded this to another provider, who prescribed abx to make her happy, no therapeutic purpose whatsoever!! This is why MRSA is out of isolation now! Let the people with the education make the medical decisions! Stop encouraging ridiculous complaints, make it an opportunity to educate! We're here to make you better, not kiss your ass! Her cx came back negative too, hopefully she won't end up resistent if she ever actually needs this medication, jerk.. People are just awful, it doesn't matter that you're sweating, working on a cardiac pt, some butthole is complaining that you're making them wait 15 minutes past their appt time.. Ugh! Sorry, bad day. 😑😶😔

In the community abuse of anyone is not tolerated...and there is some serious emotional abuse and entitlement with some patients that is generally overlooked in the health system. No one should be an emotional punching bag. I think solutions should lie in educating patients on healthy and positive methods of relieving stress and anxiety. Nurses should not be acceptably used as emotional distress absorbers. It is unethical. Stress on the job decreases focus and increases errors. if a nurse is broken down by one patient and they have other patients to care for...what level of care can this nurse deliver. We need positive healthy solutions for both the patient and the nurse. In return this will benefit those we care for as nurses. Julie. RN.

Nurses are overworked, the public don't care they just want timely service and that's it.

This doesn't always work. I have 26 highly demanding patients who all want all their medcine at 2100. That's not possible. I need to triage and critical think what to do first. Not all of them can be first. And when they are not I'm yelled at and slandered. Too much.

I really needed this. Nursing burnout is real. I work at a SNF and I sometimes skip my breaks because it's so busy. Plus patients/residents being rude to you just makes it worse. Thanks !

Had a really bad shift today. Really needed this. Thank you!

thanks ! from a fellow hard working rn.. we all do our very best (well I do) every moment at work, and you helped me realize that no matter what... some patients/family will never be satisfied. Most of the time I brush it off, but today I couldn't. I worked a private home care case and just decided that no matter how hard you try, some things are just not the right fit. Pts can become abusive, but you're right it's not us... At the same token we are not punching bags and need to know when to say enough is enough.

Avoiding to take problems personally as a nurse is great advice. Learning a lot from every video - Thanks Caroline

I work in snf and believe me there is no pleasing some people. Any thing they can come up with to complain or ultimately sue over is rampant!!! It's ridiculous! After 24 years I have had enough of the crap.

Thank you. This is so comforting. I don't have a lot of support from colleagues, everyone is either too busy to want to talk about these things or they view themselves superior or different because they have much more experience. You seem like a very nice and emphatic person 👏🏼👏🏼

I'm still in high school but I've known for a long time that I want to be a nurse. I have some anxieties and doubts though, and I worry about problems I feel like I will face in my future with this career, but your videos have helped calm my nerves so much. Thank you for these tips they are so helpful!

This is absolutely wonderful and greatly appreciated. I tend to take everything personally. "It's not about me." What a wonderful way to allow ourselves to stay centered, stay calm, and to do our part to fix the problem. People want to be heard and validated. And we won't be able to please everyone all the time.... xoxoxo

thankyou so much, i'm a care assistant and so many of your videos i can relate to and they help me alot! I get so down because of people not being nice to me, but i've learned that you just have to put yourself into their shoes, imagine if you couldn't walk without help or shower yourself, or go outside and do whatever you desire, i'd feel pretty bad too.. so i just think to myself that they have a sad situation and i look at myself and think, i have the ability to finish work and go and relieve any stress, i can make myself healthy foods, i can walk round the shops, read etc. I just applied for RN at uni, wish me luck, will keep on watching your videos for support :)

This helped so much ! Sometimes we tend to take things so personal. I have social anxiety at times, so it’s hard dealing with certain situations. Sometimes I can have the most wonderful patient and is their family who becomes the problem. It’s all about having character, and also to remember it’s not about you ! Thanks !

You're so inspirational and motivating. I try and watch any combination of 2-3 (sometimes a lot more) of your videos a day, as I'm going through nursing school at the moment and you inspire me to be the best I can be. Thank you.

Thank you for posting this I am an LVN and what you post is helpful. I am dealing with this a lot thanks.

I'm a med student but lord knows we need this training just as much so we can deal with these people ourselves and back you guys up and be on your side when you need our help. I'll never forget what it felt like to be an EKG tech at the bottom of the food chain having these people try to push me around :) Good stuff!

You girl is absolutely right! Great video for all nurses, love it! :)

I love your videos! I'm a second year nursing student, and your advice and tips have helped so much with my clinical experiences thus far! Keep the videos coming please :)

Really great advice for new nurses! instead of complaining about your situation you produced a very well thought out professional solution ! Great Job

I'm a dental hygienist and this really helped me! I've been a hygienist for 22 years and once in a blue moon I have to deal with an unhappy patient, even if I have done everything possible to make the patient happy. Thx again!!

Some how I stumbled onto your channel while surfing for things to listen to in regards to Nursing and Medicine in general. Anyway, I've been an ER Nurse for 24 yrs and I would always take the rudeness patients or their families projected personally. Especially in my late 20s into my late 30s. I was able to overcome the rudeness like Caroline said knowing it's not about me, it's about the situation. Alot of times the complaint will catch you off guard and you don't know how to respond other than saying "I'm sorry". what seems to work for me is, if a family member or pt wants to complain about something right then and there I try to say. "OK I see your upset and I do want to know why. I came in to check on you before I stepped into another room to do something. Let me do that something. when I'm done I will come back in here and this way you have my undivided attention and I can try to answer all of your questions and hear your concerns". For me this seems to work. Asking to do something else to help an human being its like youre asking the pt/family permission to step away. It empowers the pt/family. Pts and families all know we're busy they can see that. Acknowledging they're upset sets the tone for them to calm the heck down. In a way your saying "I not talking to you if you use that tone" without having to say it. It gives them a chance to calm down. Saying "you'll have my undivided attention" also works because they may expect to be blown off or be given an attitude from you. The thing is you must show concern when doing this. Step in to them if possible when you tell this phrase, do not do it from the doorway. Stepping in is sort of a psychological thing that tells them "ok my irrateness is causing this person to come into my personal space. maybe I should bring it down a notch". Again do this in a professional way and be concerned. Do not do this with intent to show dominance. That's not why I do it but the trick works if you're sincere when doing it. in other words people will "talk ish to you" from a distance but when you close the distance they do change their tone. lol. Have your arms behind you. Do not cross your arms or show your hands/raise your hands. Sometimes I hold the bed rail when I step in. The bed is the pts personal space you're invading. Do what you were set out to do. Come back to the patient and family and say "Thank you for letting me do what I had to do. You now have my full attention". I can tell you my technique works and when they do talk to me the first thing they say is "Look I don't want to be a complainer. i know Im not the only patient here/im not the only visitor here. I see your running your ass off. but.......". I do not believe the complaint would have started off like that if I stayed in the room when they cornered me. lol. Stepping away gives you time to prepare for the concern/complaint. This works for me in the ER. I hope this works for you on your unit.

You are such a classy, beautiful person! I am so thankful I came across your channel as I am a new nurse, i just began on orientation and you have helped me feel more comfortable and confident in my abilities (just in the past couple hours of watching a ton of your videos) lol thank you thank you thank you for sharing your knowledge and experiences with us :)

This nurse is a good example of being professional.. and to not take it personally. 'Empathy' helped this very smart girl solve a problem..she did NOT take it personally that a family had a full on LEGITIMATE concern that put their loved one in danger. She actually was able to put herself in that patient's shoes, the family caretaker's shoes..and not retaliate or actually make it worse by attacking family like they were the problem..which is really disgusting, unfair, unethical and pouring fuel on a fire. Bottom line: 'Learn' from dangerous practices and prevent them. Don't place blame and fail prevention and resolve.

Thank you for this video. I recently became a new nurse, and i just got yelled at by a patient today. I don't blame them because i know where they are coming from. But at the moment it was really intimidating and I didn't know what to say that could help with the situation and I ended up just repeating the same phrase over and over again.. I am in constant doubt of myself. But your video helped alleviate my stress a little. Being able to detach from personal emotions is really a valuable skill.

Loved this video! I'm a nursing student, and I had a difficult patient family member the other day. I am starting to learn that handling situations like these begins with changing my perspective. Thank you again for the great tips :)

This was very helpful and it's true complaints will always be made but it's not good to take it personal.Instead you can use it to improve and as long as we do our best then that's ok.Nursing is beautiful but it does come with challenges and part of being a good nurse is knowing how to deal with them and complaints is one.People who come under your care as a nurse are vulnerable and trust you with their life always remember that so at times you will experience the fear that they have.love your videos as always stay blessed xxx

thank you for the post!! this is amazingly helpful

Someone I know is a "rude" patient in a nursing facility and she doesn't do herself any favors by it. Sadly, some nurses and attendants can be provoked by a patient into neglect or even vindictive behavior. As you say, the patient (or relative) is usually terrified and in pain, hence the blaming, nastiness or other "rude" behavior. You seem like a great nurse, one who really cares. I'm afraid this is not the norm, but I'm happy to know you exist!

I'm struggling with rude coworkers who create doubt about me to my preceptor and others around without anything in their hands. Its depressing to go to work. They have no idea the affect they are doing to me, due to envy etc.

Pre nursing student here, this was really motivational!

I just had my first complaint to deal with and this has made me feel so much better about everything. Thank you so much. I'm glad you posted this video.

stumbled on this site as I was flicking through some research, a valuable video although not a nurse I have gained an insight as to how to manage possible situations in the area of disability care. thankyou.

Hi Caroline!,Long time no see (in KZfaq) happy New year and you know what,I got my first job, your videos were so inspiring to me.Thankyou so much,you helped me to get the job.Thanks a mil!

I love your videos soo much!!! You are so inspiring! ❤️❤️❤️

I had a real jerk of a patient today. Well I get quite a few jerks every week but he really ticked me off today. I am so tired of being a punching bag for these patients. I am so beyond burnt out with the patients attitudes. I have noticed that my pediatric patients act more mature and reasonable than adults. I decided 2020 is the year I’m just not taking it anymore. If patients get upset then here is my managers number

Great video...I am so blessed to work in an ER, if this happens...we "tap out" sometimes a new face in the room makes a difference. Nightly a nurse will come out of a pt's room and say I tap out...so another nurse will take over and trade patients...seems to work out really well.....Thank you for your videos.

I am not a nurse, I am a medical assistant. however, I work in a small practice where I work the nurse's line, and I am basically the "nurse" there. so, I'm always feeling overwhelmed. your videos really have helped me and I just want to say thank you and God bless!

Hi, Caroline! I found your channel today and I loved you and your videos so much that I had to buy your book ASAP. I'm already halfway through it! I will be starting nursing school this fall and I plan on using your test taking tips and strategies to get ahead of the game ;) Thank you so much for all you do for the nursing community! Much love from Houston, TX!

you are amazing!! thank you so much for this video and all the other videos you've done!

Video request...A video for nursing students on the floor during clinical when dealing with rude/mean/negative nurses.

Excellent video Caroline! Thank you!

I needed this I work at an Eye care clinic this today was so rude I felt like I could’ve do nothing right I guess some people you just can’t please

I work in residential eating disorder recovery and this really helps after many difficult but ultimately very sick patients. It's just really difficult to find that balance of empathy and boundaries.

Caroline- those were some great tipps and you presented them so well and self reflected.

Thank you for your advice. It really helps.

I’m not a nurse but I do work with patients. Can really relate to this, thank you for putting up this video

Hi Caroline. I would suppose these events occur in Turkey only but, there are rude people everywhere in the world. Very good tips, thank you!

Thank you for this wonderful video! This is great advice for nurses and non-nurses alike. :-)

Such good advice in this video. Thanks.

Really helpful videos, thank you.

"I do it right now" Nope never saying that I did not have a break I pushed on through, making sure that everyone was okay. I was approached by a member of the patient's family shouting and screaming at me saying that the patient in question would like to go to the toilet and needed your help right now, I was shocked I stated let me just have two minutes and I will take the patient to the toilet, the family member said no, even though I explain I have just finished with another patient. I was so shocked that she thought it was okay to speak to me in such a rude manner. Family members of patients just know that we need to be respected at all times or take their family member home and deal with the demands of the patient themselves.

Hi,Caroline, I am Cherry. OMG! I love your videos so much, I have an interview next week and I stared to prepare today and it was so lucky I watched your videos. I am an international student in Australia, nearly graduate soon and currently feel lost, confused and fearful about my future. Fearful about the future employment, the challenges in the future work. But I am totally inspired by you today. I really appreciate your work and your videos and I think with your help, I will have more confidence to deal with what will happen in the future. Again, thanks so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you so much for this video!!

VIDEO REQUEST :) I would love to see a video on reading EKGs, especially with your experience. I believe that's a nursing school challenge that we should all be good at. You learn the basics in A&P II but not picking up on heart blocks, defects and such. Thanks!!

I had taken over a patient, my only interaction was to take her blood sugar and to say call if you need anything. The two daughters came up and said they had to leave NOW and the patient should stay overnight. I told them insurance would not pay another night since she was discharged. As they were leaving one of the daughters yelled at me that I’m rude and a horrible nurse, I shouldn’t be in the field, on and on, and then stormed off. How do you deal with or fix that?

This was awesome! Really awesome K. :)

Vote: What's worse "The rude patinet" or "Patient with rude family member" For me it's the family.

This comment is not directed to medical staff trying their hardest. I know because I worked lifting people for 30 years and I have been punched, cussed out, had my foot stomped by an elderly man who when I politely asked if he wanted to walk, He stomped my foot and it really hurt. No, My question is this. What do you do when a Rude Medical Assistant gets you (now a patient) kicked out of the clinic because She is having a bad Day. This Medical Assistant, did not explain what a "Swab" was. She went to grab my face to Swab my cheeks. She was aggressive. When I grabbed her hand to stop her from grabbing my face. Her Eyes Widened and She lifted her voice saying "NO! I got to do it!". I am a Veteran and have had my mouth sewn back together, She triggered my PTSD. I said "Who the ### do you think you are?" ... Anyways, long story short. I tried to get a Supervisor to get attention to her horrific behavior. I waited 3 hours. Nothing. This MA was able to get me Discharged from the Clinic. The reason. I refused to take a test. Which is completely False. Nothing was ever done. I never got a call from a Supervisor. Today I looked at Google reviews. There She is Pulling the same lies on another patient getting her Discharged with her lies. How do you deal with Bad MA's? PS I did Contact Corporate. many times. They did Nothing.

This was really helpful thanks!

I had a Nurse yell at my aunt. Im a nurse in training and this was so helpful !

Empathy at its best! Very impressive!

This was great advice, thanks

All of these things are very true. It is one thing to comply with the Resident, or Patient's Rights, But when the abusive behavior is in reverse especially by some Family members who are very rude and inconsiderate towards the level of stress that comes with a high volume of care that you have to tend to an entire unit of Resident's and the Physical and Emotional Toll it takes of Us Over All. I take pride in the quality of my job performance and work ethics and treat everybody the way I'd like to be treated and try to keep things positive all though negativity has always been present at ever corner. People can be very manipulative too whether it be fellow staff or Resident and especially the Family which not all families behave this way. I have been vilified, I have been wrongfully accused and lied on. Gotten written up a dozen times but did not sigh most of them because it was all filled with defamatory slander. My worst mistake was signing any single write up sheet. I never should have gotten written up in the first place all the way back to the very first time I got written up and every bit of it was full of falsely fabricated narratives that fly's contrary to my nature, and contrary to my character. Because of all this I have been in deep depression because of toxicity in the work place when you are treated unfairly as though you have no voice there and all your hard work go un- noticed and unappreciated while continually being discredited and belittled and the bosses are either confused or just plain in denial as to why I show very little enthusiasm these days in their presence because of their miscalculations of me. Because Of Their Vile Underestimation of the value of me as a human being and my job performance and I work very hard and my best has never been good enough either, so you're not alone those of you out there who go above and beyond sticking your neck out only to get burned.

My dad is being a difficult patient AND I am going to have to help care for him when he is home and seriously I have a new respect for nurses... I knew your job was tough, but I had no idea. No. Idea.

Very well said.

I am a college student who is learning cna. There is a very mean patient, and she always like to say something very nasty to me and other nurse. Everytime I am afraid to see her because whatever i do she thinks it's wrong and yelling to me. What should I do in this case?

Very helpful. I'm a new nurse

I respect you so much! You are awesome. Hopefully I become a nurse. :)

Thank you this was helpful do you have more videos over ekg

thank you sooo much for such nice tips.. but only thing i wanted to add is instead of saying "what can i do now" we can say "how can i help you now"

Hi what do you suggest when your a nursing student who struggles with anxiety and I’m trying but not doing well on exams

After working in emergency medicine for over 15 years I hate the public.

I had a TERRIBLE shift yesterday. Only 4 months into nursing and already ready to leave bedside.... drained the life out of me being someone’s punching bag

Can you make a video on dealing with angry confused patients? How can you comfort someone who doesn't understand you're there to help?

thank you

Great advice!!

Very good question!!!!

Wow. So gorgeous. And a really nice person too. I never start off rude to medical staff. Unfortunately though, many times medical and office staff will mistake my calm demeanor and soft spoken manner to mean they can just give me short shrift or otherwise walk all over me. Then as soon as I start putting my foot down, they start melting down. All I’m doing is saying, ‘no, I’m not doing such and such’ or I start asking questions and all of a sudden I’m a difficult patient. Many of you working in the medical field are absolute saints. And then there some of those who don’t belong anywhere near customer service. It’s like they have deliberately chosen a job knowing they’re gonna melt down.

loved it!

Elderly with Parkinson's / Lewy Body Dementia will be difficult for any one. I have had many a nurse/cna, whatever level of training say he's non compliant.

Your technique of taking responsibility is perfect. Every person who works in a hospital should take 100pct responsibility for patient/customer satisfaction. Having said that, it is rarely the case. Last year I was in the hospital for five days. One of the biggest myths in medicine today is that "medicine is gender-neutral ." Of course, any person should be able to get any job if they are qualified. But, patients are in no way gender-neutral. Check carefully, they come in two genders. Personally, I will take a bed bath from any gender. Yet, it's always a female that is available. I heard a story about a man who had to stay in the hospital for 28 days and never had a bath because he refused to get a bath from a female. SERIOUSLY? There wasn't one resident, intern, CNA, or hospital president who was a male. Being rather an at ease patient due to many hospital stays, I started asking all my doctors (who just happened to be male), "if a patient were in the hospital for 28 days with no bath because he wanted a male to bathe him, would you do it?" They all said, "yes." So, I asked them to make that known. I have no idea if they ever did make it known or if they really would have given a bath to a patient. But, the concept of "gender-neutral" doesn't seem to work both ways. Males are expected to "man up" and let the exam happen while females are asked if they'd be more comfortable with a female doctor.

Don't let any of them hurt your feelings.

Here in Australia they don’t care if you are in pain then when morning comes they kick you out and threaten patients with security guards even though your not aggressive nurses need to listen to the patient and treat them how they would like to be treated but it’s 2019 they still are in humain especially being a chronically ill person and have been through so much medical negligence I was told I should be a nurse bcoz I’m on the other side now I would feel how they feel and be a natural understanding and empathetic nurse

Going through one of those days right now.

Is it about you? What can you do now?

It's really hard to deal with patient. Our purpose is to help them but we as a health care worker we are bad.

this might be personal but you don't have to answer but how much no RN nurses earn monthly?

Very informative

Ha! That very scenario happened to.me! I'm a phleb and nyistaje was I walked in right in the middle of something and didn't leave the room fast enough. I ended up.getting chewed out along with the nurses. From.now on I leave the room ASAP soon as the lab is drawn.

It may not be about you. However it becomes about you when your job is in jeopardy. Because of heavy workloads, or complaints that are unfounded. Its is about you when your employer terminates you for UNFOUNDED cause.

Great tips

You are so pretty, you made a good point

Kill em with kindness and let that negativity roll off your back. Stay strong nurses.

How would you handle a patient's comment about the doctor being "unsympathetic?"

I am telling the nurse or supervisor no matter what

Why are people rude to nurses I will never know like they are there to help you get better, so why don’t the patients be kind and treat nurse with respect. At this moment NZST I’m in hospital with the MSAR infection I have been in hospital with this infection for 2 weeks in July and I’m still here and since I was in hospital & I’m on constant meds and Antibiotics, and anytime the nurse helps me or give me meds or any help I always say please & thank you and before they leave I say thank you again with s. complement like thank you so much for helping me , even if it’s a blood pressure test I still say thank you and give them a complement. And every time they leave with a smile and they say see “you later Conor.” And because I made them smile 😊 it makes me feel good inside. And in my ward I have a patient who is rude to the nurses and I feel bad and sad inside when patients are rude to nurses like. come on the nurses are trying to help you get better why would you be rude. Just some Info on why I’m in in hospital I have had tests in July and came back with that I have the MSAR infection and I’m still in hospital on constant meds and antibiotics and being monitored by lovely nurse and professionals who I am so thankful that they do this amazing job taking care of me and other patients I support them 100% and anytime they help me and give me my meds I always say thank you and please.❤️❤️ Here is my Comedy rant and true story about a patient in my ward. so last night and other nights this patient presses his buzzer to call the nurse, & instead of waiting a few minutes for the nurse to see him. “ what does the patient do?” A “Does he wait like everyone else?” Or B does he bluntly shout nurse at the top of his lungs and can’t wait a few minutes? “I will wait for your answer” Tick tock tick tock -(game show music) Times up the answer was B he bluntly shout nurse at the top of his lungs just as soon as he pressed his help buzzer. So I thought “enough is enough” So not long ago I shouted “just wait 5 frickin minutes it takes time for the nurse to see you just wait and be patient”. Then All of the patients on my ward and all of his family visitors burst into laughter. They all probably were thinking the same thing 😂 but none of the patients in my ward wanted to say something but I did. And sometimes the patient was being rude to the nurses that are trying to help him and I felt bad and upset that a patient is not treating nurses well and with respect. “Like they are trying to help you like come on mate”. 2 examples of rudeness from this patient that was being rude to the nurse. 1. As soon as he presses the help button he doesn’t wait a few minutes for them to see him he shouts Nurse super load. Note : there are lots of patients in a hospital so when the patient presses the buzzer & shouts nurse it’s very rude why can’t the patient wait idk. & BTW the nurse could be busy with another patients in the same ward but in a different numbered room. 2 in the morning shift for the nurses A few times when the nurse kindly asked the patient asked the patient if the patient wants a bed wash & the patient said in a rude snappy tone I will wait for my wife. So that’s why I thought “Enough is Enough” So not long ago when the patient pressed the help buzzer and then starred shouting Nurse Nurse on repeat. I said “just wait 5 frickin minutes it takes time for the nurse to see you just wait and be patient”. Then All of the patients on my ward and all of his family visitors burst into laughter.

I don't have nothing

Great topic! I recommend you wear a mic. Too much echo.

My old said I'm out