Being disappointed can hurt so much, that if it happens too many times, many of us stop having hopes and dreams altogether so that we can avoid the pain of disappointment.
Yes, this strategy works in the short-term, but it can fail in the long term because without hopes and dreams becoming fulfilled we often settle for a disappointing life.
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I don’t think the answer is to stop having expectations and give up your hopes and dreams, but rather, develop a healthy attitude and coping strategy to make sure the disappointment doesn’t destroy you. I’ll give you 5 ideas to help you do just that.
One thing is to rely on wisdom instead of luck. One reason I say disappointment happens to all of us is because doing the right thing sometimes leads to wrong results and vice versa.
Now, just because the person who made all the wrong choices lived longer, doesn’t mean their choices weren’t foolish. Because if these unhealthy choices were played out in millions of lives, the outcomes would be more disastrous for a majority of them.
Life is filled with uncertainty and isn’t always fair, sometimes wise choices lead to unlucky outcomes, and sometimes poor choices lead to lucky ones, but if you’re banking on luck throughout your life, you’re banking on a life of disappointment. Choose to operate from wisdom instead.
The next thing is avoid the land of Er. I learned this concept from Andy Stanley. We often think that an “er” is holding us back from being content. If only we were rich ER, slim ER, smart ER, and the list goes on and on that life would be better. But this pursuit is a trap because the pursuit of more is an appetite that can never be satisfied.
The next thing is to own your part.
It’s hard for us to accept the role we play in our disappointments. It’s much easier to blame the negative outcome on something outside ourselves and feel like a victim. For example, I’ve made hundreds of videos on this KZfaq channel and I’ve been disappointed that I haven’t gotten more views and subscribers.
Now, I could say that I’m just unlucky and blame the KZfaq algorithm, but saying this just makes me come across as a whiny baby and won’t change anything. I’m better off realizing
That I’m at least partially responsible for the lack of results I’m having. If I don’t like the results I’m getting I need to be doing something different, whether that’s putting more effort into my videos, publishing more often, changing the style of the videos, etc.
The same is true for you. Whether it’s your dreams that aren’t currently working out, or past relationships that haven’t worked out. The cause of the negative outcome may have little to do with you, It may have been due to another person, or something happened that was completely out of your control.
However, there’s a chance that you did play a part in it even if it’s a teeny, tiny part. Be willing to own the part you played in it, and learn from it. Also, possibly make the necessary changes needed to avoid the same disappointment in the future.
Number 4 is to diversify. Life could be very stressful if you have all your money in one stock. All it takes is for that company to make one mistake and go bankrupt, and you have lost everything. Financial advisors often advise to not put all your eggs in one basket and diversify your money. The strategy works emotionally in your life as well and can diminish the effects of disappointment.
And lastly, your relationships are your safety net. I’m learning throughout my life that disappointment will occur from time to time in your life and you will experience many emotional falls. However, when you have people in your life who are there for you whether you succeed or fail, they act like your safety net, and are able to catch you when you’re falling.
Keep these 5 ideas in mind as they can help you deal with disappointment in life. Thank you for watching and I’ll see you in the next video.
1. Rely on Wisdom Instead of Luck
2. Avoid the Land of Er
3. Own Your Part
4. Diversify
5. Relationships Are Your Safety Net
The Other Side of Life by Michael Unks-Affiliate Link to Amazon listed below..
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Music credits:
“Valium,” By No Thanks
*obtained from Epidemic Sounds under creator license
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How to Deal with Disappointment in Life