Welcome to another episode where we discuss parenting reprogramming through healing. Today, I have the privilege of sitting down with Eli Harwood; the ‪@attachmentnerd‬, a remarkable individual who speaks on different attachment styles and how to form secure attachments.
Eli's story began in a family marked by trauma, a history that propelled her into a profound personal transformation. At the tender age of nine, Eli witnessed her mother's decision to change her lifestyle, sparking a realization in Eli about the dramatic impact such a shift could have. Recognizing the need for change in her own life and in the lives of others, she embarked on a journey of self-discovery. She pursued her master's degree, delving into the intricate world of attachment theory, becoming captivated by the nuances of human connections and patterns.
In this episode, we explore the various attachment styles that define how we function as human beings. From the primal instinct of survival to the intricate dynamics of early bonds. Eli unpacks how comfort intertwines with our vulnerability, shaping our responses to the world around us. Crucially, she emphasizes the pivotal role caregivers play in our emotional development.
Our responses in life are deeply influenced by our caregivers' emotional regulation and their attachment styles. Eli sheds light on how these coping mechanisms are passed down through generations, forming the basis of our own attachment styles. Eli speaks on how important it is to have a space to feel seen, safe, secure, and regulated. When we don’t experience these spaces in our childhoods, there may be negative side effects that we can pass on to our children.
Eli passionately explains the importance of creating spaces where individuals can feel seen, safe, secure, and regulated. She highlights the profound impact these environments, or the lack thereof, have on our childhoods and then our adulthood. When these nurturing spaces are absent, negative effects can flow through generations, and it is vitally important to break these cycles both individually and collectively.
You can expect to be enlightened about the power of understanding attachment styles in the context of parenting. Eli emphasizes the possibility of reparenting ourselves by examining our attachment styles and their origins by looking at the patterns woven throughout our lives, patterns that can be unraveled through introspection and inner work. Throughout this entire episode she inspires hope, showing us that with dedication and self-reflection, we can shift, change, and transform these patterns, ultimately fostering healthier relationships with ourselves and others.
But that's not all - Eli has an exciting announcement to share. Her upcoming book, "Securely Attached: Transform Your Attachment Patterns into Loving, Lasting Romantic Relationships," is a wealth of information and insights, offering practical tips and tricks to shift our attachment styles while healing the wounds left behind. This book isn't just for individuals seeking personal growth; it is also a valuable resource for therapists, coaches, and anyone passionate about fostering healing and transformation from within.
Grab a cuppa, get comfy, and be ready for a powerful conversation that delves into the heart of attachment theory, parenting, and the incredible capacity we all possess to rewrite the narratives of our lives. Stay tuned for Eli Harwood's wisdom, guiding us toward a more secure and fulfilling emotional future.
In this Episode...
02:44 The Journey
07:52 It’s not about being perfect…
08:41 Understanding Attachment
11:02 The attachment drive
13:21 The 4 Patterns of Attachment
22:00 The Strange Situation
26:34 Steps to take to work through your own Attachment Patterns
36:14 Learning to repel what you do not want to attract
41:52 Practices you can start using today
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