one thing to get over the guilt and regret, is hear someone have the same feelings, that way you'll never feel alone with what you have

Thank You, 3 years now and 90 percent sober, which I know is not 100 percent, but better than 100 percent drinking.

Yeah the flashbacks and embarrassment & shame. Ugh... I hate it. I don't even drink often I think I'm just super sensitive to feeling embarrassment.

I don't have an issue w alcohol, so I replaced everything with "trauma" and it resonated perfectly. I have done things that I feel immense guilt for out of fear and pain living in an unhealed state. I'm still working on healing nervous system, trauma, toxic defense mechanisms like isolating but I really appreciate you sharing this advice 🙏

It's a big reason it's so hard to stop drinking, the shame spiral. I've done and said these things, and the only way to escape that thought is to drink, a lot. I look at the apology thing a bit differently. Plenty of people enabled me, and they're not apologizing to me for that. I made an offer to myself. It was that if I quit drinking, I could stop apologizing! I was so sick of apologizing all the time. The beauty of sobriety is that you stop adding to the shame and guilt and can start healing instead. It is hard to "sit with" those feelings. A great way to put it. That's exactly what you have to do. Then you have to let that shit go ;-)

I made a huge mistake this weekend. I want to be able to drink 1-4 drinks and not take it any further but I don't know how to do that. I feel like shit.

Thank you so much Stephanie, you don't know how much this helps. Though I don't have drinking problems, I have a lot of debilitating shame that keep popping up. I feel as though I can't move past it when people hold it against me even when I try to change. But if someone like you who seems beautiful, strong and wise can get past this then there is a future to look forward to. Thank you for being sober, people are lucky to have you in their life.

Thank you for making this. Such a great message

Keep it up :) And stay strong. We are proud of you being sober!

You’re so brave! Thanks for posting! Heroic!

This is so helpful!! I really love your videos. They’ve been so helpful for me on my sober journey

I'm glad you posted this. Timeless information that is still really helpful.

Im so thankful i stumbled upon this videos, im 10 months sober from a 6 year fentanyl addiction, and ive really screwed up alot, and caused myself and everyone i love so much pain. And on a daily basis i feel it holds me back, because i cant figure out how to forgive myself. And it almost cripples me from moving forwards. But i have started some medication and therapy and im trying my best. Thank you for this

Thank you so much. I dated a man at my job who was 25 years my senior. I was flooded with shame of thinking someone that old could seriously care about me the whole weekend. I was with him because he gave me the validation I was seeking which (at the time) I didn't know how to give myself. If other people told me they went though this I was be empathetic. Since I create unrealistic expectations for myself (which is cruel) I experience shame. I am working on being kinder to myself.

thank you so much for this you’re an angel in my life.

This video deserves way more views than it has (currently 4k). Its truly inspiring and easy to compare situations in my own life to this. Whether its alcohol or not. Thank you for this 👌

I discovered you one week ago and I definetly think you are amazing. New suscriber!

I’ve struggled with hangxiety increasingly as I’ve got older; these tips were really good. Thank you!

I had long drinking. Even have a couple of scars to show for it. If your body have scars then it's time to think again

I really needed this today. Thank you for taking the time to put these videos out there to help others.

Thank you Stephanie! This video really helps...

great video, nice to see other people going along the same journey

such an important message (also happy birthday!)

This is a great message, thank you.

you are so good on this, I do not feel I am the only one

Respect for owning your shit I think a lot of addictions follow this cycle. Life can be very tough at times 👊🏻

Thank you so much for that video, thats exactly what i had to hear right how

I feel like I made a fool of my self with an ex. I have a huge regret that I grew his ego and I have regret and shame

Excellent advice! Thank you very much!

I relate to this so heavily.

You’re in a good place for someone your age. I’m guessing you’re in your 20s. When we can identify with others, which is what AA is all about, it helps. You’re the type of person I can relate to based on my drinking history. In a perfect world we would have met. Keep on spreading the message.

I had long 3 months no drinking so last weekend I did and something terrible happened and now I do not know how to manage

You are really, really, really good at this -- being a KZfaqr. Excellent content!!! My only two words of advice: HAVE FUN. Again, excellent content so ENJOY it. I'm sure you are helping lots and lots and lots of folks.

My comes from what ive done to others specifically my family. I dont have shame over what i do to myself, but a lot of shame over what ive done to others.

drunk texting my crush and looking like a fool in front of my friends. I will never drink like that ever again

Thank you for this video ♥️

Everything you said hit home

I rarely drink, but this past weekend a friend I hadn’t seen in five years got so wasted, I woke up in a pool of my own puke. I’m too embarrassed to ask my other friend who was present and my mom who I called what I said. I’m afraid to find out. I’ve had anxiety and embarrassment and shame the past few days

Thank you ❤️

If you can't say fuck it then you can't move on

great video ❤ just checking on you since you haven’t posted lately. I hope that you’re doing well. God bless you

good points👍

Thank you so much

Thank you

Just sent me email for the zoom meetings :) thanking god for you and these videos

She came to me in the sleeping hours And she sang to me in the moonlight: "Where did you dance when you baffled our chance, And when did the motley bells chime?" I summoned a verse from a chorus of blame, But it drowned in the ghost of her song. He came to me in the sleeping hours And he called to me in the moonlight: "Why does the fold now weep to behold, And how does it feel to be free?" I tendered the words from the tears of the same, But they dried as the dawn came upon. They came to me in the sleeping hours And they whispered to me in the moonlight: "What did you reap when you floated the keep, And whom did you trust with the key?" I buried my head in a cushion of shame - And I woke to find them all gone.

Great video

thanks

Much love from new zealand

Hey, well try me. I was once taken to my boss's office--with her and her chef colleague--for touching my coworkers too much ( *_casually,_* on arms or shoulders). I was always very outgoing and tactile at work. The chef told me that we need the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment. That I shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school or tell my stories, because they may be inappropriate or upsetting (can't remember her exact words) to others. Now yeah, I pretty much didn't have a filter, but I don't think I said anything *_horrible._* I only meant to have fun with my crew. I really didn't get specific information from the chef about subjects and references. She likes that I'm outgoing, but she made it sound risky and in need of limits. And again, that I shouldn't touch anyone without consent. I own my mistakes at work, but I don't want anyone twisting it around into I'm making the chef the only bad guy. I didn't _mean_ any harm or discomfort. If I had known anyone would feel either, (though technically no one showed signs), I would _not_ have touched them. I am not a creep. But the chef made me feel like one. See, she shouldn’t have been so firm and in my face. A gentle, respectful talk for a couple minutes was all I needed. She shouldn’t have restricted me to handshakes only. Casual taps or pats or whatever are actually ok, as long as you don’t overdo them and it’s to friendly people who clearly enjoy you. I always thought it was perfectly innocent and natural, and I still do, in certain ways. Happens a lot at the bar parties I go to-total strangers. Besides, two middle-aged workers from the dining department have done it to me; I don’t condemn it. Also, the chef did not have to ask my boss if there was anything she wanted to add. How did she think that would make me feel? Not disrespected and like a criminal? HeII, my boss shouldn’t have been in the room at all; I deserved some dignity and comfort. I felt horrible. But of course, whenever I expressed this side on other videos, people would continue faulting me or saying the chef was right. To them, it was this side over the other. I felt like no one understood me or the gray areas I still think exist.

I’m glad Victoria is gone lol ❤️ I love you! Thank you for spreading this message!

Are you living like 2nd or 3rd time? Because I do feel guilt or bad only when I do realize that I did something wrong or broke something but I'll do everything that I can anyway to fix broken things even things what other people's broke if I can I try to learn and get better in fixing thing's even people if I can.

Can I please have the link

Hy do people win in these kind of situations???

Only Jesus can set us free from self blame.. He did it for me..through deliverance.. I blamed myself my Whole life.. Now I have taken my power back. Christ has not given us a spirit if fear but a spirit of love.. Power and a sound mind.

“Drinked”?

I lost my id, wallet, phone, money

I watched some erotic stuff on my old boss's computer in my house, for trojan viruses because I was slandered, insulted, threatened etc. Two of my coworkers wanted me to discredit another employee to the manager till she got fired and I refused them, then they slandered me that I had complaints about the manager's wife. I explained the manager everything then he started lying. Later I learned he sexually harassed that female employee, that was the reason he didn't care what I said because he already knew that female employee would resign. Long story short, we both resigned. I did nothing illegal, because that computer did not belong to the company, it has no bill, a 2nd hand computer, all programs were pirated etc. In fact, I can sue them if I have proof that they share my web history to 3rd parties because of violation of privacy. From your point of view what would you think about me as a person? I can't get rid of the shame.