'..but we dont deserve..' Thats already an other rejection! 😂

@@mdmmalou Aye, it is true! We are all wretched apologies. Not fit to glance upon the laces of Dr. Grande's boots! And yet... he appears before us. Lavishes advice apon our unworthy heads. Lo, we are but peasants *honored* by the grace of this most benevolent of Kings! ...and he's a darned good Psychologist, too. 🤣🐯

@@mdmmalou I know! I think I'm deserving of such quality content! Oh wait, that was very narcissistic of me ;) LOL!

@@misse7154 Glad you've humor! 👍

Haha more like can’t afford 😭

Agree

You're very right you don't owe anyone a reason.

@@mirjanadolenec3099 I'm queen of overexplaining, and I used to do this a lot because I was uncomfortable. I think being polite, direct, and brief, conveys confidence, but also establishes clear boundaries.

@@mirjanadolenec3099 Exactly .

@@misse7154 Yup- over-explaining over-disclosing queen over here too 😂😂😂

Better that, than going nuclear, which seems to be the default response.

Yep, that'd hurt me severely from someone I knew for a while and had reasons to think something was there.

😂😂😂😂

😂😂😂🤣😆

Thats funny

trying to work out if that would be cutting, or not...hmmm! aren't you supposed to tell intelligent people they are attractive? I mean they KNOW they are bright...?! :)

Me too. Something about him is just sexey!

I actually said the in most of my comments as well. He is very sexy

Yeah, it's very common, and it hurts. I've even been ghosted right after the yes. What the heck was the point of that? I think it hurts significantly more when it's stacked on a lifetime of rejection.

Now you know, and now you understand why a good many men are not going to just approach just ANY woman that crossed paths with them.

Kevin Jang they are not interested in being kind. In fact it seems like they’d like to inflict as much damage as possible.

Projecting your attitudes on others like that are why some men decide to reject ALL women because of the actions of a few. The so-called attitudes you refer to are not merely attitudes, they are a reality that a growing number of men on the outside looking in are noticing.

Perfection.

Are you available now ?

Just grow a mustache to seduce this lady 👩

I'm sure they are terrified, especially if they are crushing. To extend yourself when so vulnerable, must be daunting.

Romantic encounters are overrated. Get yourself a pet, and focus on your life goals. I don't date, and I have been very happy with my choice to pursue different things in my life rather than romance.

@@brad885 thank you for the advice :) and I think you are definitely right with what you're saying.. the pets I already have btw 😉

@@BuffySummer I have a 7 year old daughter. The cons outweigh the pros with dating for me. I'm sure someone is interested in you-thinking no one is a good way to get stuck in the depression feedback loop. Pursue what is meaningful, not what is expedient. You probably feel like dating is now or never because of peers or social norms, but being single has it's perks.

@@brad885 Brad no, I actually date because I feel incredibly lonely without it.. I'm not really close with my family and I don't have any friends either, so it's my only way to really have any close personal contact with a human.. :/ Kind of sad, I know, but I just get way too stressed by having friends for some reason.. Yes, I think the reason I think no one is interested in me is because I have a lot of black & white thinking, it's really hard to get out of that.. And also I get rejected way more than having to reject someone else 😅 lately that's the only thing that's been happening. Yes.. I wish I could be single and happy someday..

Chrissi Pikapika say you don’t pick up on cues, but someone still manages to make their advances known; you could end up wishing nobody was interested. Might be a silly idea, but you could wear a Yin Yang pendant, as a reminder.

lol xD :D

😂

🤣😂

Hey! iLoveToast! Don't take this personally. Dr. Grande is washing his hair... for the next 20 years. 🤣🐯

I’d like to propose a toast...oh, wait hehe

Yeah.. Don't do it. I had false hope that I had a chance later with a guy I reaaalllyyy liked. All it did was string me along.. Prolonged the pain. And it sucked.

@@M_SC Certainly, women are at risk in all levels of courtship. We must be wary and attune to threats. My responses are based on the presumption that the person I am dealing with adheres to certain standards that are culturally similiar to me. I have fended off men who didn't accept me responses. Everything from showing up wherever I was to having to flee through a forest at night while two men chased me down after I declined an offer to get in their car, while I was jogging. I believe you should always start off courteously. If the response is menacing or any other level of aggression, then one must work to mitigate that dynamic and extricate oneself. I have found that enlisting the help of the offending person's friends or work cohorts is pretty effective, if they are in fact menacing or inappropriate. Social pressure and all that. I don't know alot about women in Afghanistan, but my impression is that the family has alot to do with choosing mates or supervising dates. I also thought that dating was not a thing, so most flirting and subsequent rejection would be limited. I would think these ladies would have to reject any advances, flirting or courtship not expressly approved. Like, I thought if they don't reject advances, terrible things could happen to them. Of course that means they have no recourse or remedy, should they be raped or imposed upon. A woman's lot there seems dreadful.

that made me feel like chit just reading it

Women are a risk for men, as well. If women can be in a man's skin for a month, they will understand why some of us really don't like women much, or being around them. Then maybe they will understand their approaches to men are not helpful, as well as the fact the advice given to men is mostly worse than useless.

Thank you so much!

Exactly, some people just won't stop.. my kindness kinda evaporates when they want to keep asking and start to follow me around / walk me out or they've gotten to that begging stage. It can get creepy; being a woman, if I've said I'm not interested eighteen times then I damn sure don't wanna be alone with you by my car.

@@M_SC I'm more talking about narcissists that won't take 'no' for an answer.. nobody likes rejection, and there's some men that just clearly aren't taking the hints or think if they ask again they'll get a different answer because they're uncomfortable / nervous, but it's the ones who think they deserve your attention and an immediate 'yes' that can make me start being rude.

@@M_SC pushy women lol

Thank you so much your kind words

Yep, the not you its me speech.

Wandering Free smart! I actually enjoy telling narcissists that they are just too much like a pig

"I say I really appreciate you for complimenting me, thank you! I'm a celibate Christian, I don't date at all! But thank you!" P.S. Some men get huffy, or rude, or try to argue me down, but MOST RUN! LOL 😋 YAY! I'M 61 years old, no young Cheetahs, I am no Den Mother.😉

Problem is that a plain 'no' is usually not received well or not at all (read: not accepted). in 36 years i can count on one hand how often a man after hearing a plain 'no' just said 'ok, no problem.' and just walked away. Like, I remember those random guys, cause they stood out so much. Most either try to pressure on or they get snappy. 'you're ugly anyway' blabla. women would have less of a problem delivering a straightforward 'no' if most men weren't so terribly prissy about it. But then, I get it too why men get like that. With them usually being expected to make the first move and thus getting to hear a lot more of rejections, I understand that at some point they've had it and lash out a bit to restore their ego.

but who would r. eject me

my screen is broken asf. This phone is rejecting me LOL

@@gypsy-nr9zd :D :D :D Yes, don't we all hate it? But it's at least better to be able to read the signs of rejection and walk away in time not embarass oneself xD

Mirjana Dolenec yep

You could say, "As much as I think you are attractive, I prefer to be more involved with someone before I am intimate" or "I don't move that fast." But honestly, I wouldn't worry about song no or being kind here. If someone moves fast with you, it's rude. Dump them.

I hope you don’t give up forever. Good things always happen when you least expect

You are most welcome :)

:D

Good question. Its a bad place to be, if someone misuses position and power to get you under. It is wrong and doesn't deserve a friendly rejection.

@@M_SC Yes thank you Esther for your comment, I was searching for a better word for this situation and safe is the right way to describe how I would like to reject that person who (I truly think) may become vengeful in this case!

@@mdmmalou Thank you for your comment, yes I know he doesn't deserve a friendly rejection but I strongly feel that he's gonna become vengeful if I don't reject him safely.

A little humor can buy you some time to buff up your resume and start job hunting. But an actual sexual advance from your boss is inappropriate and shows your career has no future in that position. If your boss has a boss or HR department, do report him (or her). Realistically, it’s best to report him/her after finding a new position.

Davina hi, I agree with all tips of J.Holan. These individuals think that loosing your job is their power.. Until you've found an other job.. Set your limit well, because once passed it goes from bad to worse! Avoid him if possible, and say no if necessary. Stay strong! 💪💪

Dr. Grande . . . You forgot the famous saying by George Costanza (Old Jerry Seinfeld Show) "It's not you, it's me."

I have Patrick! Lol

Darn you got to him first!

I have Patrick! Did he say, “No.”?

Hey he is mine. 🤣😂

You are quite welcome!

Jesus! That wasn't your fault, it had nothing to do with your rejection style. That was punishing you.

J B thank you for your time! Yes I feel that he was punishing me

hi Cat, that situation just opens up a whole can of questions for me. about constructed and unfair dismissal, workplace bullying, boys club, poor management, illegal actions, lack of support and advocacy. with autism you can be vulnerable to so many things in a workplace (this does not mean not capable). waitressing wouldn't be the right job perhaps anyway? it's high intensity face to face customer service as well as juggling the fast pace and changing environment and the complicated team roles and relationships. did you feel, other than when being disrespected, that you were very profficient in that job? hope it all works out for you.

Humanimal Humanimal hi! Thank you for your question! Very long So background.. I didn’t know I was autistic until AFTER this incident.. there was another fiasco after this incident too.. I needed quick money (still do) and I knew that waiting tables would be enough to pay my rent! I didn’t care what job I got as long as it paid the bills... I knew my firing was unfair.. this other girl would feed FALSE information to boss and other coworkers.. I don’t know why.. she even accused me of trying to steal her boyfriend but he only happened to sit at the table I was waiting so I was doing my job!! I get emotional talking about these many incidents because it was so unfair.. I didn’t speak up because... honestly she’s just so bubbly and outgoing everyone loved her.. I knew no one believed me so I stayed quiet.. pitiful yes but I’m learning! Sigh :( I’m too scared to report anything.. the boss is actually really kind! She’s only heard bad things about me so I see why she was inclined to fire me.. it’s okay! I also don’t want her restaurant to do bad so i just let it be! It probably didn’t help that I am very quiet and had hard time “mingling” with other servers.. we were all 20s since we all go to university but I never fit in with any group.. I never realized how important work place relationships were... anyways yesh TLDR: got fired, too scared to file any complaint, but am learning and moving on Addition: the people who worked there were already friends since high school and I was the “new kid”.. so high school ha ha... I learned later that they all had parental issues.. it explained a lot of their behaviours and it gave me some closure. The girl who spread rumours... she has many issues prior... she tried to “hit” her ex boyfriend with broken beer bottle!!! Isn’t this ASSAULT??? But ppl say it was ex boyfriend fault??? It was at a party too so many people witnessed what happened yet the ex boyfriend got blamed? This girl’s mother hates her a lot... she was verbally mentally physically abused by her own mother!! I feel really sad for her.. not that it excuses any of her behaviours but it does explain some of them! I forgave them all! I honestly feel sad for them and their childhoods :( I had great childhood and have learned healthy coping mechanisms! I don’t hold grudge against them! I feel sad thinking back to what happened to me but that’s ok!

Responses like that would invite an acid response from me.

Ditto