Thinking my single life isn't so bad right about now...

You really don’t know what trapped means until you have children with a narcissistic “partner”.

1. A lot of arguing without resolution...A relationship without forgiveness 2. The toxic person wishes you were dead or gone...Sex lacks emotional component... 3. Unfounded accusations 4. Unhelpful personality and resentful treatment 5. Unhelpful communication style...badgering or aggressive behavior...refusal to recognize process or principles...nobody apologizes except you the victim 6. Excessive fantasy....what would it be like if I escaped or got another partner? 7. Manipulation...spending money to hurt partner...silent treatment... isolating behavior esp. where counseling is concerned... Thank you Dr G

I would love a video on how the perpetrator makes the victim look crazy or like the bad guy. How they bait and bait and bait, and when you finally stand up for yourself, they immediately try to take on the role of the victim.

I have been married to a wonderful man for sixteen years. I’ve been in toxic relationships. Being older and somewhat wiser I would rather live alone than be with someone who is toxic

I struggled to get out of a toxic marriage (I identified with about 90% of this video). Because I finally did get out, I am now dealing with the aftermath of divorce: financial, emotional, and logistical devastation. Do I regret it? Not even for a moment. I am alone now, but I have peace, and I have taken the situation as an opportunity to heal, learn, and change... hell, I even have a lot of hope for a happy future! What is the value of that? Thank you for this video Dr. Grande.

I've just escaped a relationship like this. I've been in this for 13 years. My brain is fried. Thanks for the upload

SIlent treatment seems to be confused a lot, telling your partner you need a time out or to think before you talk about something is healthy, purposelly ignoring someone for whatever reason until it infuses some sort of reaction isn't

I would add another sign of a toxic relationship is when one person is motivated to get into couples counseling, read about healthy relationships, and gain understanding what makes a relationship healthy while the other person is completely passive. Perhaps the passive person isn’t the most psychologically minded and tends to avoid personal insight. It just seems to me like being in a relationship is really about being vulnerable, Open, and mutual caretaking. When one person is avoidance of those important aspects, it certainly seems to create a toxic dynamic.

With my last relationship, I was "hoodwinked" and realized I was trapped in a relationship with a narcissist with ASPD tendencies. I am now free from him crazy sadistic ass for over a year now. This has made me self reflect on WHY I KEEP GETTING INVOLVED WITH TOXIC PEOPLE. I had to rid of him and even family, and I do NOT feel guilty about this one iota. Its a shame I had to learn what self-love means at almost 46 years old. 😢 Thanks Doc! Another great video.

The Ex checked many of these boxes. Which clarifies a lot. Glad I've moved on.

Not being willing to admit when you are wrong, and apologize, is a very destructive habit.

The ex hit all marks wow. Thank you. I always would fantasize on escaping especially towards the end.

I would get nauseous when my boyfriend would drink and start arguments. The physical feelings are very real

With narcissists there is also starting arguments as a diversion or to excuse bad behaviour, like picking a fight so they can leave the house to cheat. If the argument is being used for manipulation I find even if you try to diffuse it by taking their side, they will even start disagreeing with their original stance that you are agreeing with, just to make sure the argument escalates.

Wow! Ty Dr Grande. I’ve been divorced for 20 years and listening to this video, articulated my marriage relationship. I had an ulcer in the end. When my mother died-I was 25 years old, my husband yelled at me when I came to tell him her diagnoses, “Don’t you know everyone’s going to die”? No empathy. He used to say, the best defense in an argument is a good offense. We were married 22 years. I didn’t believe I could survive if I left. But I did. I confess, I’m scared to get into another toxic relationship. I

Based on the title this is going to be a popular upload.

Currently stuck in a toxic relationship. And truth be known I have never had a “ normal” relationship. This was a good eye opener.

when she yells"dont start!" everytime i try to express my lack of satisfaction about something....

Oh man, that #1....Threats to leave? Yes, please...go! FREEDOM!!!

I lived in a toxic marriage for almost 17 years. You have described almost everything I went through with my ex husband during that time. I tried so much to fix things by being patient and seeking counseling but nothing worked. I’ve been divorced and alone for 10 years and I do not date because I am so scared of going through the same again.

This video saved me from a terrible, no good, super bad relationship on December 4th of 2019. Thanks again.

Relationships should never leave you feeling awful *ALL* the time. If a relationship leaves you feeling that way all the time, it's a good sign that either you need to get out of it, OR insist that the other person work with you to fix the problems or you're leaving.

The ability to say *no* and still *be well* might be the core measure of Toxic Relationships. I'm just awakening to how much I have not been caring for myself. Realizing the most basic standards of my inherent value, and how I will allow others to treat me, brings to the forefront the *imperative* of *volluntary relationships* - in all public & private interactions.

The silent treatment! Ohhhhh...I'm chatty so this is definitely passive aggressive to me. No good. Thank you doctor. Good guidelines. 😊👍🌹

I look forward to experiencing a non toxic romantic relationship once in my life. So far, my batting average is dismal.

Leaving a toxic relationship. At 62 years old I believe that these issues come up with a partner you need to resolve them you need to work them out because you'll bring them up again and again and again in different ways for different partners this is how we heal by being aware of our bad behavior period and working through it with your partner to resolve these childhood issues. The problem I have is so much damage has been done from childhood that it's literally ingrained in my bones. I had a terrible abusive childhood that I barely survived. They even tricked me into a mental place when I was 15 years old and gave me shock treatment I have absolutely no memory of how long I was there and what all happened to me I am devastated from this action they took against me. How do you get out of something like that. Abandonment issues oh yeah big-time

This was my entire "relationship" for 15 years that I could not get out of... He is still not out of my life, yet, although we stopped living together 2 years ago. He still contributes financially - pretty much controls that aspect. Actually hearing all of these points in a row has made me realize that now, at 39 years old, I don't think I want another romantic relationship, ever. I spent that long in a situation like that and had no idea it was toxic? I have c-ptsd, pretty isolated, and was raised in a family of abusive, criminal narcissists. At least I can start to protect myself, and others (since I think I must be pretty toxic)... while attending the therapy I plan to get as soon as possible.

My wife is sitting next to me teasing me in fun about binge watching your channel. The behaviours you describe here are all to familiar to me from my family of origin, not my marriage - we discuss things calmly, deliberately comparing options, looking for unintended consequences and trade-offs, usually with humour, before coming to joint decisions. We look out for one another's best interests; for instance, she encouraged me for about two years to finally buy the car I really want, helping me to overcome the sense of guilt programmed from my childhood at the thought of obtaining something I want. My point is not to counter the content of the video but to emphasise that while toxic relationships certainly exist, they are not inevitable and should not be regarded as normal.

I’m in a severely toxic relationship. I’m trying to get out. Thank you!!

Wow my entire extended family is severely narcissistic.

About two years ago I got out of a very manipulative and emotionally abusive relationship and this video just really hits home. If anyone out there is questioning if they can move past their relationship, you got this!!

You uploaded this right when I needed it

I understand every relationship has its ups and downs. Good you do a video about the opposite topic. A video about signs, examples of a healthy + good relationship? Thanks doc 😊

This will help so many people. My ex hit all 7 of these signs. He not only refuse to work on it, he doubled down and when from toxic to abuses other than emotional. There was no choice but to leave. I do agree with you that it can be changed IF both parties work on it. I don't understand how leaving being an option and not being the best idea. I'd be interested in clarification on that. Your videos very often give me other insights into things, so I'm more than willing to hear ya out on a lot of controversial statements.

As far as someone seeking counseling, or not wanting to, there are PLENTY of EXTREMYLY CRAPPY counselors out there. That would be a reason I would tend not to run to them. I have seen and experienced very manipulative situations as far as seeking help from supposed "professionals." Just because someone would rather not partake of that aspect of society running to someone else to figure out their problems, does not mean it is fear. My sister has gone to counsellors and psychiatrists for YEARS and she is one of the most unhappy, unfulfilled people I know. I listen to your videos because you are logical, and neutral. Not many are like you Dr. Grande.

Such a great video to help peeps in a bad relationship! Still enjoying my freedom the last 12 years after saying bye bye. Some people do not want to change. Thanks Dr. Grande. ✌🏽

Just wanted to go to bed - it’s midnight here in Europe - new video from Dr. Grande and had to watch it! 😂👍

I really enjoyed this video, especially the fact that you brought signs that aren’t mentioned that much in other youtube videos like feeling physically sick and poor communication. Great video through and through :0)

Watching your video brought me back to my first husband. That toxic relationship lasted a very long two years. So glad I left. There was no fixing that.

Thank you for a brilliantly constructed narrative , deconstructing this tricky subject. When enmeshed in toxic relationships it is hard to pin point what is essentially wrong for the partner who is constantly kept off balance, on the back foot questioning themselves. But I do think the psychological and physiological damage to the person on the receiving end in toxic relationships such as you are so specifically describing cannot be underestimated, it can be irreversible without a lot of support & professional help. Also if the perpetrator is not willing to commit to change & take responsibility, it is undoubtedly better to leave particularly in the case of NPD.

I'd like to hear more about how the silent treatment is a manipulation and how to deal with that on a constant basis. How you try and try to engage and it makes you feel crazy because the other person makes it seem like they're so wonderful because they're not saying anything but you're "bad" because you want to address the issue. Like if you would just ignore their behaviors and issues in the relationship then everything would be fine. They are very controlling but in a passive way.

Thank you for this balanced and helpful information - its so hard to see these red flags when we are "in love" with or bonded to a toxic person. Very helpful signs to look out for.

My sister always said she could tell when I was in an unhappy (bad) relationship when I started complaining about him all the time. It may sound kind of funny but how we speak about the person or the relationship is a huge reflection of how we’re feeling.

Thanks for this video, Dr. G. I found this to be really helpful. :) Do you think you might be able to make a video about signs of a healthy relationship? I grew up in a home where my parents had a very bad marriage which ended in divorce, and I've had several abusive or otherwise toxic relationships myself. When entering into new relationships I find myself second-guessing whether things are normal and healthy, because I don't really have a baseline against which to make that determination. It would be really helpful to me if you could address that kind of situation. :)

12:10 wise words - I think you suggest that happiness and peace could be better result than the the repaired relationship. As an empath, I had to let go of my high views (demands if you want to call them that) of what a relationship could ever be, and simply go back to every day working on myself, by myself, for myself. This unravelled a lot of harm that was happening regularly and allowed me to start achieving results that were intrinisically beneficial to me - critically important to the rebuild of my self respect. The emotional loss was great, but was very quickly replaced by the joy of little things like money saved, fitness regained, and finanical plans made. All this sure does disarm the perpetuator - when they aren't able to ankle-tap everything... Go get it people, stop waiting, complaining, expecting, and go start doing.

Really refreshing to hear advice in support of not running away from problems. Truth is that problems have the habit of travelling with us to new destinations, and if not resolved properly, they grow larger.

Thank you, Dr. Grande. I appreciate the clarification.... my dad just said that “mental case” is a great catch all for all these groups of disorders. He’s 81. He said my mom was a mental case (borderline with narcissist traits) so now I seek out that to heal my toxic relationship with her. (She’s passed). Thank you so much for this!

After almost 6 years with an narc, i somehow enjoy my single life. 🤔

My ex pretty much checked all of those, i'm not perfect either, but damn, it's so like this. Being unable to discuss my emotions especially and all the literal psycho screaming and antagonism and the unending fighting when i was ready to just let it go and even say i'm wrong even though i'm not. She almost destroyed me as a person. But i'm recovering now, on my own. It's crazy how quickly my life got better once she was out of the picture.

this is so true! Thank you for sharing, its nice to get a professional view! I have had ptsd for years bcs of really bad relationships...at least he has been gone for a while now...but i still have ptsd from it ...even years after it ended! It's nice to know im not the only one who has gone through such a nightmare

Not just interesting, you may well have saved my life. Thank you, for all you do. I love your content.

I admire your optimistic outlook Dr. Grande!!! Thank you for another great video!!!

This is very reassuring and comes at just the right time. My partner and I are working our way out of a troubled DSM-loaded relationship with deliberation and a lot of help; but two weeks ago I all but gave up and howled that this is a toxic relationship and there is no hope. One of our counselors disagreed and said try to look at the trajectory and see how far we've come over the years, and watching this video has brought to mind so many sad ways of interacting we don't engage in anymore and states of being I don't experience as a result. I need to give my man some credit for all he's accomplished, I had no idea, but it's true, we have changed. Thanks again Dr. Grande for making this stranger's life explicit to herself.

1st 3:10 Chronic, protracted argumentation without resolution or forgiveness. 2nd 4:39 The victim feels their partner wishes them dead and 5:13 Dread of sex, relief when partner leaves for the day. 3rd 6:08 Unfounded accusations of victim ruining toxic person's life, infidelity. 4th 6:31 Unhelpful personality and temperament characteristics. 5th 7:03 Unhelpful communication style, e.g., persistent badgering beyond signs of submission and sorrow. 6th 9:11 Excessive fantasy. Calculating benefits of leaving. 7th 9:54 Manipulation. 0:00 Intro 11:45 Can a toxic relationship be saved? Should it be saved? 13:49 What is and what is not successful. 14:15 Outro

I found this video incredibly helpful, informative, and accurate. The only thing I disagree with, is the end part about trying to "save" the toxic relationship. More frequently than not, I've noticed than trying to "save" it is a total waste of time. I think that an individual has a right to happiness and to be with the kind of partner he/she wants and needs, without trying to conform to anything less. And more so, if one is totally willing to give/offer what one wants and expect from our partner. By all means, yes, try to save the relationship if that's possible - especially night there are children involved. But having to "accept" that some of that toxic behavior (or nature, or inclinations) is going to be present, to one degree or another, is not acting out of self-love - we have a right to live the kind of life we want to live. Otherwise, I think this video is a masterpiece!!

I would love for you to cover this topic in more depth too, maybe with more signs and how to tell at the beginning of a relationship to see red flags. Also if there may be any potential ways to differentiate between a rough patch and more long lasting problems which run deep. Any ways of telling if the perpetrator is genuine about getting help and potential reasons for resisting getting help to achieve happiness. A very complex issue as you stated. Thank you 🌞

All the relationships I have are toxic to one degree or another. Though of course I contribute to the dynamic with avoidant behavior. Still, I would not leave these relationships, they are all I have. They don't get physically violent, and most of the time I can prevent them from devolving into relentless, sadistic verbal abuse by standing up for myself consistently and being slightly verbally aggressive here and there, regularly. Loved the video, thanks for sharing

You indicate here Dr G that staying is at times unavoidable. If I would’ve stayed longer I would’ve preferred to be dead. These relationships are gut wrenching. Personally, my spirit just can’t handle it. I am finally at peace. I do what I want, when I want, there’s no price tag too high! As always, thank you for your passion and knowledge!!

If a person has a tendency to physically lash out, walking away during an argument and going somewhere else is a good idea. I often need time to cool down and think in the middle of an argument. I don’t “time out” to punish; I do it to stop things from getting crazier.

There is a narccisist everywhere! Like the part, 'change in small habits influence the relationship in a positive way than grand gestures'!

The negatives were almost criminally hidden going in. Then I have to ask myself how much I participated in not seeing. No matter the answers, I think I’ve proved to myself that my people picker is broken. I’m nice to me. That will have to be enough, especially with the help of canine buddies and outside friends.

This is US!!! You were describing my life. Me the MPD, him the N. It's so difficult to get past my own mind and try to figure out what a "normal " person would think, say or act like at any given moment. It's is so tough being a MPD. I feel like I'm trapped in a box jumping trying to escape and can't jump him enough over the walls or sides. Thank you for all the hard work you put into each of your analysis.

spot on. Narcissism is such an overused word by many people who do not understand the basic nature of the beast of the cluster of behaviors. But toxic is clear, that the relationship is harmful, without blaming or labelling- the relationship is poisonous. We'd be stupid to take poison so why would we continue to take daily doses of poison in a relationship? If you are in this situation where counseling has failed to make quick meaningful changes to reduce toxicity, calmly cut bait and move away from the toxic relationship. It's simple, yet it's hard but well worth it.

One of my options is when I did go to Therapy with my wife she used it to bind me and avoid any questions about her involvement and when I tried to explain my point of view she started to cry and misdirect acting as though I was being the aggressor which in turn escalated the division (frustrating me) this was over 10 years ago before I understood her Tactic, she never got better. Thanks again

I think you're optimistic outlook could really help somebody who might realize they're being toxic and want to change. I believe a lot of times people avoid therapy because they're afraid they're going to hear something they don't like, which might happen but to know that the therapist could be on their side in the sense that they want to help them become a better person and save a relationship that they, even as a toxic person, want;could give them the courage to seek help. I also think it could be helpful for the person who is the victim in a toxic relationship, yet who wants to save the relationship, to know it can be possible but only if both people put the work in. Your approach is both realistic but hopeful.

Yes, Never Apologized ! Even after Affair, blamed me for that too. And, yes, always grand gestures no real changes in behavior that were lasting.

I’m glad videos like this exist for those times where I start wondering if I was the problem.

All of this was in my marriage. I used to get in our bed at night and start to shake, the shakes were so deep almost like I was going into shock. It didn’t happen every night but pretty often. Once we were divorced and I had my own space I noticed I didn’t shake anymore.

Thank you! Wow, incredible. This was nearly word for word what it was like with my vulnerable narcissistic ex. And ya, grand gestures mean nothing! Little things, he would never change. And he would resent me for even asking for small things. But he thought that throwing a birthday party would make up for all shit in the past. He deliberately took me bowling for my bday, even though every single birthday of mine prior I chose to go to karaoke, and it was the obvious choice. Even my friends all said to him, "are you sure? Maybe you should take her to karaoke." He consistently told them all, no, and when I asked out of curiosity later why we didnt go go karaoke, he flipped out at me. "You're so ungrateful! I did so much for you and you don't even appreciate it! I'm never throwing you another bday party!" He even lied to me and tried to blame my friends, saying THEY didnt want to go to karaoke. When I asked them all what happened, they all said the exact same story. He told them about the party at a time I wasnt there and they were all in the same room together and they all said to me individually, "we told him he should plan to go go karaoke but he said he wanted to go bowling for a change." When I told him I asked all my friends and they all have the same story, you're the only one with a different one, he then shunned all of my friends for a long time and made them feel scared to come and visit me in my home because of his coldness. He always got mad at me for maintaining my friendships with them. And now, after the break up, he is STILL bringing up the birthday from over a year ago now, saying, " I knew ever since then that I didnt wanna be with you, you ungrateful bitch." Even though it was after my birthday that he wouldnt stop nagging to move into my place, and after moving in that he lost his job, and never attempted to find a new one, and started cheating on me with ppl on plenty of fish. Like, WOW. Can you say narcissist much?? He fits the description to a T. Thanks Dr. Grande, for yet another amazingly accurate breakdown!

Spot on this is my Partner to a T. He's a Narcissist. I've learnt how to deal with him and no longer get upset. I give him his own medicine. He does all the things you've mentioned. I'm enjoying my life with my Son and my Furkid so I'm no longer a victim. He's 68 out of shape and drinks alot. He's a good provider. No need to leave. Love your videos ❤

I recognise all of this and it makes me sad that this behaviour is my default expectation of people 😔

Yes, title grabbed me. I haven’t been watching due to life. I’ll binge watch and catch up👍👍👍👍👍☮️❤️🇺🇸

Incredibly descriptions! Thank you Dr. Grande.

Oh this is great. Screaming, leaving and threatening to leave.

l was in this kind of relationship, left it , filed for Divorce, got 6 yrs of Therapy to get over the hurt and l have stayed single since and probably will be the rest of my life because l never want to experience that again in my life. lt was killing my spirit slowly and l am so much happier now.

I thought it would be over after I got divorced but the toxicity doesn't end just because you split up. 10 years later and I can finally say it out loud: he was abusing me. For so long I actually thought it was my fault. We have children and there's been massive problems with working together, my ex accusing me of child abuse in front of teachers, psychologists, counsellors etc. At the same time he never wanted them at his house and now they don't want to see him. Every lie he tells about me is just a continuing of our toxic marriage. Maybe a follow up Dr. Grande? "How to cooperate with your ex after the divorce."? Thank you so much for your helpful videos.

Thank you Dr. Grande, couldn't be a more accurate list!

Just listed why I'm physically exhausted from my relationships. I thrive being single and just plain hate them. Having fwbs is enough for me

IMHO this is your best video presentation out of many I have watched. Thank you 🙏 it gives a clear definition of manipulation and explains how it can damage relationship. In my 46 years of marriage, 42 were years where I have been manipulated significantly but did not recognized until only 4-5 years ago with the help of a friend who is also married, but her marriage is either not toxic or has a lower level of toxicity. As a pregnant immigrant with very little English I was an easy target for manipulation as was described in marriage counseling as a “punching pillow” for my husband. Ouch! It hurts even now to recall these years. I can speak and write now in his native language, but I still failed occasionally to elicit respect or compassion from my partner. I so appreciate your opinion that leaving often is an easier way out of toxic marriage. I have been implementing a new way of dealing with the provocation and accusations (these are hard to ignore) coming from my chronically grumpy and depressed husband. I tried very hard not to react, but rather respond calmly later on or just stay silent rather then trying to explain myself to him. Explanation only adds the gasoline to his fire. Thank you again. This video has helped me a lot. I will return to it and will make a notes to myself. 🙏❤️P.S. I just realized this is my second time of watching this video… but this time I heard everything what was said and I fully grasped the concept of toxic relationship.

This video makes me really appreciate my boyfriend. ❤️ He's definitely a keeper.

The changes one makes in an established, consistent daily routine seem the most challenging...just look at addiction...which seems representative of an internalized toxic relationship. Some people gravitate toward such relationships and seem to experience themselves and others as both victim and victimizer...It's hard to untangle the 2: within the self and outside of it. This really conjured deep thought. Thanks.

Unfounded accusations are very difficult to handle.

I really appreciate how well you describe the information you present. Most videos on topics like this seem to repeat the same info over and over. Every video I watch of yours I learn several new things. Thank you !

This video should be spread widely so those who are going through a toxic relationship get the validation they need. I do disagree that leaving is an easy answer to a toxic relationship. Malignant people may claim to want to "work things out," but in reality they only want to continue to do as they please while deceiving and draining the partner. Leaving one of these people is necessary, but it is in no way easy to accomplish.

My ex wanted a divorce. I suggested marriage counseling because I thought what we had was worth salvaging even though I didn't fully understand what was wrong. He picked out the counselor and we went and saw her individually. I asked if we could have a counseling session together and he said he wasn't comfortable with that. He ended up inviting his immediate family to counseling to work out past issues he apparently had with them. The counselor kept asking me about my mother which I thought was off-topic, or at least a distraction, from our marriage. I ended up having to pay around $800 for his sessions while I got mine free through EAP. We divorced. A few months later he married his coworker. So much deceit and cowardice. Just be honest and admit it was a family counselor, not a marriage counselor, and that seeing other people was preferable to staying together and working things out.

Thank you for this. Very helpful. The realization that my life is a mess is difficult but gives many areas to improve rather than sit back and fret about it.

Thank you for classifying my ex's behaviour. At the time, I thought he was emotionally stunted & we could try to learn how to argue. It was only the year before we divorced that I learned all these traits in 1 person ... dooms each person. This info you provide is GOLD, & rescues people!

The content of this video is awesome and spot on. I feel validated. You're an awesome you tuber x

Another sign: you are not the same person you were before the relationship. Psychopaths can turn a confident, strong, kind, normal person into a nervous white mouse - afraid of its own tail. This happened to my friend and I have tried to help him for over 1 year to leave but the gaslighting is too strong. I told him to get professional help because he is too brainwashed. All 7 signs present.

I think counseling is so valuable and is a great litmus test for determining whether certain behaviors are toxic. It helps provide me with an objective opinion and guidance. I really also love listening to your channel because you're an experienced professional who explains complex topics in a way that is easy to understand. Thank you!

Thank you Dr. Grande for your deconstruction and simplification of a complex issue.

Dr. Grande, listening to your videos is very real within my life, having grown up in Middle East Narcissism and Codependency are two pillars of the environment. Sadly most men grow up in narcissism and most women grow up codependent, at times with age women turn slightly Narcisstic with their daughter or son In laws occasionally. Some cultures intentionally produce such ways it seems. I would love to see more cross cultural coverage on these topics. Thank you and thank you for your work, wisdom and sharing

you rock. this applies to bosses

Leaving is not always the best option - especially when there is a child or children involved. Thank you for this video, Dr. Grande.

"It's the little things we change in our daily life that actually make the difference " for me that's true. I stumbled upon a way of thinking that has literally brought me out of darkness...I started picturing myself as a character in a book...what would I ,as the reader, desperately want (protagonist) me to do? Then I would make small adjustments to get in line with that path. Changing my response to entitled, toxic behaviours inevitably changed the dynamic. Time will tell if the changes in my husband (and me) are enduring! Thank you for your counter narrative to this plethora of bs about narcissists on you tube! You are a refreshing voice of reason...and funny! You summed it up in the Michael Jackson video saying "I don't like boring things" The funniest things are true. I appreciate you covering really heavy things, your sense of humor for me is bang on. brings relief. A

Thank you very much for this video Dr Grande

I appreciate your straight forward approach to explaining relationship dynamics. Two thumbs up! Very helpful to me , thank you.

Thank you Dr Grande, or conveying beautifully your science and experience in a very detailed way.. A bird's eye view, at the same tlme... your optimistic outlook is not for people who have decided to leave, but for those who are looking out for ways to repair and stay. I am 70 years old, mother of two grown-up men, married for 42 years, and have lived through enough experience to know exactly what you are talking about so beautifully. Thank you so much. I have been following you for the last one year, extensively. Looking on for all of your future conferences.

Thank you, Dr. Grande, for another great video. My marriage has many elements of toxicity. All of the ones you mentioned and some others, too. However, I am so gratified to hear you express optimism that the toxicity can be ameliorated by making small changes in routines and habits. I love my husband and knew that he was quite damaged when we married. I'm also a survivor of an abusive childhood. I've always known that no marriage of which I am a part, would ever be perfect. Year by year, my husband and I make small improvements upward from our nadir, with the belief that the actions of love can make us better than we were in the beginning.