How To Make Long Distance Work | 5-Year LDR: Tips & Advice | Lucie Fink & Michael

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Lucie Fink

Lucie Fink

Күн бұрын

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TIPS FOR SURVIVING A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP! They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it also makes the heart sad, angry, lonely, and a bit jealous at times. If you’ve been in or are currently in a long-distance relationship, you know the struggle. A #longdistancerelationship can be rough.
Last year, I married my high school sweetheart after being in a 5-year LDR throughout college. During that time, I learned that surviving a long-distance relationship takes WORK, but it can also be highly rewarding and enjoyable.
The outside world will tell you that long-distance relationships never work out…your friends and family might even discourage your long distance relationship! But I’m here to tell you that you CAN make it work. It may not always be easy, but when you know, you know. And distance can't change that. The distance might make things a bit complicated at times, but when you see each other again, the simplest things will become the sweetest and most precious moments.
LDRs are difficult, but they have their silver linings, too. After surviving my 5-year #LDR, I thought I would create a video for all you LDR viewers out there to help you make it through your long distance relationships, too.
TIP 1: SCHEDULE VIRTUAL DATES. Just as you would if you weren’t in an LDR, schedule date nights and do them virtually. Maybe that means a virtual dinner date night where you make the same meal separately and eat together over video chat, or perhaps it's a movie night where you watch the same movie or show together over FaceTime.
TIP 2: HAVE SLEEPOVERS. All you have to do is leave your laptop or phone open on your nightstand! Plug it in, set it to "never sleep" and turn the brightness down.
TIP 3: MAKE PLANS FOR FUTURE ACTIVITIES. If possible, always know when you’re going to see your partner next. I always loved having a shared countdown for our next reunion, and I pretty much lived my life in a perpetual countdown state.
TIP 4: GIVE THE OTHER SPACE. This is a big one! My biggest piece of advice is to BE present wherever you are. You don’t want to overwhelm your partner with thousands of messages. You also don’t want to miss being in the moment that YOU are in.
TIP 5: SURPRISE THEM. This is a very fun part of LDRs. Send your partner something cute in the mail or reach out to their friends to coordinate and plan a surprise visit.
TIP 6: TRY TO CONNECT VOCALLY ONCE A DAY. Even if it’s just for 5 minutes, call to say how your day was or to say goodnight.
TIP 7: KNOW WHERE YOU’RE GONNA BE AFTER THE DISTANCE IS UP. It's great to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel!
TIP 8: COMMUNICATE. Having open communication is critical to making it through a long distance relationship. Ask your partner how the relationship is going for them. Ask if they need more or less of something from you.
TIP 9: SNAP SOME PIX. Make sure your partner is by his or her phone first (and by themselves!) AND, of course, make sure this is a person you trust! However, you probably aren’t dating anyone in an LDR if you don't fully trust them.
TIP 10: READ THE SAME BOOK. Having an activity like a mini book club will give you something interesting to talk about, discuss, and even challenge each other with.
TIP 11: EXCHANGE SCENTS. If you have something that smells like your partner, keep it with you. Maybe that's a sweatshirt, a perfume, or a bra!
TIP 12: STOP TEXTING. Start using voice memos instead. OR get one of those cool tech gadgets that let you tap on your wrist so that the other person feels it!
TIP 13: KEEP A JAR OF NOTES. Before you leave and begin your LDR, prepare this jar of thoughts and notes… every day, pull 1 out and read it. I promise it will put a big smile on your face!
Comment your tips below for surviving a long distance relationship!
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Пікірлер: 103
@diarramonetpayne
@diarramonetpayne 3 жыл бұрын
This was right on time, love. I just watched your old video Tuesday trying to refresh these skills! My boyfriend and I are currently LDR while I am in law school.
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
AMAZING! You've got this!!!
@princessdiaries1947
@princessdiaries1947 2 жыл бұрын
Yes long distance relationships work, if both the partners are willing to make it work. I & my hubby (then boyfriend ) were in a relationship from 18 years, out of which 15 years of long distance relationship. Now we are married for 2.5 years. We met at school at the age of 14 & 15, went to different colleges at different states in india. But we servived the so called LDR. We used to meet once a year or sometimes once a 2 year, still we made it work.
@Pumk1nfps
@Pumk1nfps Жыл бұрын
You guys are legend.
@theodore.Danny7
@theodore.Danny7 4 ай бұрын
​@@Pumk1nfpswell bro if you two want to make it work you will but it cannot be one sided or else it won't work. If you get through long distance relationship you can fight and conquer anything together physically because remember it will not be forever you may be going to college and have to move to a whole country (like me) but if you two love and want this person as my wife or husband nothing if going to start that frr.... but if she or he is the one they won't give up. I'm a Christian and the bible says love never fails so if it failed it wasn't love ❤. God bless you
@zhaod939gmail
@zhaod939gmail 2 ай бұрын
Your example really cheer me up. Me and my fiancé are in LDR right now and we have been three months haven’t seen each other. I guess we are unable to see each other for at least two years. We miss each other very much.
@Alexandra-ft3gq
@Alexandra-ft3gq 3 жыл бұрын
Feels amazing that someone comfirms that your not crazy for being in a long distance relationship and it will work. Thanks Lucie, I needed this
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
ALWAYS. I'm here for ya! People gave me such grief 😆
@Tully3674
@Tully3674 3 жыл бұрын
Good things are worth waiting (and working) for. Nothing beats a good love story.
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
🥺💕❤️
@marleckasdfghjkl
@marleckasdfghjkl 3 жыл бұрын
As someone who is in a long distance marriage these tips are things my husband and I practice everyday. We have a Google calendar together and he'll add in events that's going on with him in Korea or when he's out in the field (he's in the US army) and I'll put in events that I have. Sometimes we'll add in dates ideas like we'll watch a show episode together. Dealing with time differences is difficult too but this gives us a healthy space. I'm not gonna lie it gets a little lonely when I see couples around me especially during the holiday season but the times we can see each other on video chat reminds us that the distance is only temporary. All my love to the LDR couples!
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
YESSSS SO MUCH LOVE TO YOU and all the other LDR couples.
@Minty.cat.
@Minty.cat. Жыл бұрын
You two are gorgeous!! So happy you guys are together now. I'm at the beginning of a LDR and our time differences is 9 hours and continets away 🥲
@awwabanana6149
@awwabanana6149 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Lucie! I never thought I'd be in a long distance relationship, but now I am. And it's quite difficult to start with, we've been together for 5 years now, since we were in college and we lived half a mile away from each other. And now, we are 1-hr boat ride and a 4-hr drive away. 😭 we can't even meet halfway because of the travel restrictions. I cried everyday for the first few weeks but we finally got adjusted and found the right rhythm. 💖 Looking forward to the light at the end of the tunnel. ✨
@emilyelise._
@emilyelise._ 2 жыл бұрын
it’s really reassuring to know that you guys started in high school because im in high school and my girlfriend recently moved to california (24 hour drive from me) and i know i’m young but i really love her and i hope it works out, these tips really helped thank you!!
@seangee143
@seangee143 3 ай бұрын
Oh wow! I remember when you guys went to college!!! Glad to see y’all together still!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽
@stefforr
@stefforr 3 жыл бұрын
11:44 “light at the end of the tunnel” 😭🖤 go watch their wedding video if you haven’t seen it yet🤍
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
AAWWWWWWWW I didn't even think of it... 😢 so precious
@eshachauhan4076
@eshachauhan4076 2 жыл бұрын
Always the perfect one to calm the anxiety of long distances. Thank you for making this magical content, Lucie 🙈You work as an LDR fairy 🧚‍♀️ 5th time watching this 💕
@maddiehanson5132
@maddiehanson5132 3 жыл бұрын
Sitting at the airport going into another LDR period... this video couldn't have had better timing! Thank you for all of these tips. We love FaceTime movie nights, and a call every morning.
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
LOVE IT.
@ja12555
@ja12555 3 жыл бұрын
I did LDR with my husband before we got married. One thing we tried was to read the same book and talk about it!
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
YES that's a great one!!
@julisapena3445
@julisapena3445 Ай бұрын
Thank you Lucie Fink. Ur awesome!! I needed to hear this today
@aidasall4815
@aidasall4815 3 жыл бұрын
It’s the wholesomeness for me ❤️
@ggboch
@ggboch 3 жыл бұрын
I definitely needed this video. I’m a senior about to go into college and I’ve been dating my boyfriend since the beginning of sophomore year and it’s always in the back of my mind. We don’t plan on breaking up, just long distance but it still really scares me. Everything I’ve ever heard about a long distance relationship is negative so it’s really nice to see a beautiful couple be able to last. It gives me a sense of hope! Thank you so much.💕
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
YESSSSSS Sending you love! Just make the decision based on what YOU want, not what others tell you!
@Jesslovetravels
@Jesslovetravels 2 жыл бұрын
I seen many of these videos but none had some of your tips you really have an amazing mind love these ideas
@MOOMOO2728
@MOOMOO2728 3 жыл бұрын
Omg I’m the same way about smells. Also certain times of the year, brings back so many memories.
@karadanvers42
@karadanvers42 3 жыл бұрын
I think these long form sit down collabs (and with Michael) are the best! It's obvious that you two were MADE for each other!! 💕 I hope you make more of these for the channel. Also are you still planning on doing dad does my voiceover? 😊
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
Yessss!!! I am figuring out how but we will do it ❤️😍
@Nina-rv4sz
@Nina-rv4sz 3 жыл бұрын
Ah this video comes at the perfect time! My boyfriend just moved abroad for his PhD (which I totally support and I know we will get through it) and COVID has not made the move easier. But I do feel that, even a few months in, we are getting a stronger relationship together. And I think I am also getting stronger on my own. Altough it massively sucks and we just want to start our life together, haha! But in the end, it will be worth it. And he will move with me once I finish my MA and get a PhD ;) Thank you for sharing your experience! Also, we totally have a book club now and enjoy it SO much.
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
YESSSSS I LOVE THAT!!!!!
@ilayalith_jess
@ilayalith_jess 3 жыл бұрын
I've done #13 (the cute note jar) and it was honestly so fun to put together and my boyfriend at the time really loved it! It helped us get through 3 months of long-distance Would HIGHLY recommend!
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
awwwww YES! So happy to find someone else who did that!
@maggieherlihy6087
@maggieherlihy6087 3 жыл бұрын
My boyfriend and I are in the same situation as you and Michael were! Just had our 3yr anniversary and we are in our 3rd year of LDR! He is absolutely the sweetest and kindest person ever, and (pre-covid) would drive 10hrs round trip to come visit me every month :) thank you for this list, I’m really excited to try out some of your suggestions!!
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
AMAZING. Sounds like he's a keeper ;)
@stefanieyago1148
@stefanieyago1148 3 жыл бұрын
been here for the reason that I will be experiencing ldr starting tomorrow huhu
@Findus1701
@Findus1701 3 жыл бұрын
I’ve done long distance with my boyfriend for 3.5 years now and I definitely agree with all of these! We are from different countries and so many people told me they hadn’t thought it would work out 😅
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
ahaha yes BUT THEY DON'T ALWAYS KNOW!
@seat_901_editz5
@seat_901_editz5 3 жыл бұрын
SHEEEEESH, next month is my first year have u met ur bf ? Or is it completely ldr
@josephinetizon7314
@josephinetizon7314 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing your video..i really admire you both..i am thankful that i found you here because i am in a long distance relationship at present..looking forward to some of your video on long distance relationship tips..
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
Amazing!! Thanks for watching!!!
@cozytunes7959
@cozytunes7959 Жыл бұрын
I love this video! ❤❤❤ Thank you 🤗
@cherrykookies
@cherrykookies 3 жыл бұрын
You guys are the cutest couple!
@cassieath
@cassieath 3 жыл бұрын
I’ve had a very similar experience - my boyfriend and I started dating in high school and then he moved away for university and I stayed in our home city. We survived a whole year of long distance last year and then we’re ready to do another 2 more years, but covid happened. Because his uni went fully online he was lucky enough to be able to come back home for this year and we haven’t had to deal with long distance which has been quite a great upside for us. :) A lot of the tips you gave are things that have definitely worked for me and when I may need to do long distance again in the future I will definitely try some more! Thanks Lucie, much love!
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
AWW that's amazing you had such a similar experience! Sending you two so much love!!! 😘
@wiselivingpilates
@wiselivingpilates Жыл бұрын
Love it...great ideas! Also, LOVE your ring! Did he choose it or did you plan it? :) xxoo
@philipmead5113
@philipmead5113 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for this. I'm in a new long distance relationship and we have never actually met eachother. We are in completely different countries over 6,000 miles apart. We are doing pretty good though I think. She actually sent me this video to check out which is great. Thanks again for some great ideas.
@seat_901_editz5
@seat_901_editz5 3 жыл бұрын
How long till u guys meeet??? Im on my LDR this June is my first year our of 3 years just gotta keep the faith man😂
@kateretherford8336
@kateretherford8336 3 жыл бұрын
Love the video
@juliettesaravia7284
@juliettesaravia7284 3 жыл бұрын
I’m watching this video and I’m single AF, but I love your videos Lucy ✨❤️
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
HEHE THANK YOU Juliette!!!!
@cherrykookies
@cherrykookies 3 жыл бұрын
I have been watching since Try living with Lucie!
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
awwww thank you for following along!!!
@alizasalman3611
@alizasalman3611 Жыл бұрын
Omg I really really needed thiss thank you 🥹
@Professor_James
@Professor_James 3 жыл бұрын
Hey Lucie, thank you so much for your advice. Its really helpful. I met my girlfriend on Snapchat and we started talking on Facebook to better communicate. We video chat and talk on the phone everyday for hours. It was so unexpected that we started great chemistry and now we're almost 10 months into our relationship. She's from Liberia which is in West Africa and I'm from the USA (Chicago, IL). I'm suppose to be visiting her for the first time next year in February 2021, so it's gonna be a whole year of waiting for that moment. we love each other very much and we been through a lot of challenges that made us stronger so we're ready to start our lives.💪
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
WOW, that's a digital media love story for the ages! Sounds so exciting. BEST OF LUCK meeting in person!!!!! Thanks for watching!
@divyadewan29
@divyadewan29 3 жыл бұрын
Haven't watched the whole video but that sweater
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
Hehehe!!! One of my faves
@decolletage109
@decolletage109 3 жыл бұрын
does quarantine count as long distance haha. feels like such videos are very suitable for couples in the same city nowadays. my country had a lockdown for 2 months and my partner and I couldn't meet each other. we definitely did the movie tip, but I was so bored without him there physically that i fell asleep on him LOL. Previously he did went on a 4 months overseas exchange program after just 3 months of being together (sorta), and I always thought it's amazing how we go through that despite being a new r/s, and I never want to go through that again. Kudos to those who did it for YEARS.
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
YES that's so true. Quarantine counts!!!
@moviesinthehouse6750
@moviesinthehouse6750 3 жыл бұрын
Awww such a sweet video!!
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
hehe I'm glad you enjoyed!!
@kellykopawski
@kellykopawski 3 жыл бұрын
I want my comment to be positive but I might sound I little bit sad, so... Your partner really has to be committed to you, love you fully and completely, he didn't love me enough to go through it with me, he decided to just be friends but everything happens for a reason and I'm learning to accept that and transform this pain into more self love. Good vibes and best wishes ✨ thank you Lucie for sharing your experience is truly admiring and wonderful 🤗
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing. Yes, commitment and dedication are key. I'm glad you're moving forward and accepting what's happened - you will find the right human!!!!
@kellykopawski
@kellykopawski 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you thank you Lucie🤗✨
@beautynerd5918
@beautynerd5918 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing! I think both of you are lucky to have made things workout well. However, I do disagree regarding long distance relationships for the majority of people. This is not meant to be shade toward anyone but meant for people to be open to the possibility that sometimes things don’t workout no matter how badly we want them to. I have young kids and hope they keep their options open when it comes time for them to date in college and beyond. I have unfortunately seen it time and time again with family and friends that do LDRs...especially those that do it at a young age. Many of them are no longer together but have moved on to being in happy healthy relationships, happily single, or unfortunately divorced with children. I think it’s completely ok to do LDR if your older and have had time to grow on your own and have had other relationships. I think this enables the LDR couple to know themselves really well before they get into an LDR and may have a better shot at making things work. Relationships in general are difficult but LDRs just add another level of difficulty that is just not meant for everyone and I think that’s okay to admit. It’s okay to say you don’t want to start an LDR or don’t want to continue to be in an LDR. Good luck to those that are on an LDR journey 🙂
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
YES 100%. I think it's important to stay honest with yourself the entire way through and now just "stick it out" because you already started.
@emmavogelmann640
@emmavogelmann640 3 жыл бұрын
Where is your shirt from?? Love it
@LorraineNass
@LorraineNass 3 жыл бұрын
3 years of long distance down, one more to go. Covid is making this final year even more difficult (we are in different countries and travel restrictions imposed by the country he's in prohibit me from visiting). I really feel you, if you're someone whose long-distance relationship has been affected by covid. I agree with everything Lucie said. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel really does help. My two cents: each person handles the distance differently. It really depends on your love languages. For example, my fiancé's love languages are words of affirmation and receiving gifts. It's easy for me to mail him gifts and offer support through text and phone calls. My love languages are physical touch and quality time. He's a medical student studying abroad and can only visit during semester and summer break. So long-distance has been more difficult for me. However, the light at the end of the tunnel is our wedding next year and me moving to be with him 😊 it can be done! Just make sure you know each other's love languages so you can make the other person feel loved.
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
I love this - YES, love languages are key. Mine is "acts of service" so it's crucial to understand how to give your partner what they need even from a distance!
@portaldossonhos2769
@portaldossonhos2769 3 жыл бұрын
It's been so hard for me and my boyfriend,he would come on June but because of that virus it's not possible, we are suffering!
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
@@portaldossonhos2769 Awww... I think so many are in this situation right now. Keep communicating virtually as much as possible and try to hold out for visits!!!
@portaldossonhos2769
@portaldossonhos2769 3 жыл бұрын
@@luciebfink oh Thank you ☺️ Yes,we are doing our best ! ❤️
@portaldossonhos2769
@portaldossonhos2769 3 жыл бұрын
@@luciebfink unfortunately this virus ended my love, He no longer had the strength to fight for our love 💔💔💔😭
@Rose-gc7uo
@Rose-gc7uo 3 жыл бұрын
Ahhh, Lucie & Micheal you guys are the best! Love you guys sho much! With travel bans and the uncertainty of covid its just this whole other layer of stress on LDRs! So thank you for taking the time to make such helpful and uplifting video! Sending lots of love you both and all the other long distance couples out there! >_<
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
SENDING YOU LOVE, ROSE!!!!
@sifugurusensei
@sifugurusensei Жыл бұрын
@@luciebfink ironically I have a LDR with a woman named Lucie
@kayenacur
@kayenacur 8 ай бұрын
Tip 1 and 2 are a bit harder when dealing with a significant time difference. My bf gives me a wake-up call on his lunchbreak.
@ervinsmoviecorner8748
@ervinsmoviecorner8748 3 жыл бұрын
Happy Weekend and Happy Halloween, Lucie!👻🎃💀🎃
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
YOU TOO!!!!
@ervinsmoviecorner8748
@ervinsmoviecorner8748 3 жыл бұрын
You're Welcome!
@patrickgabrielmendy9337
@patrickgabrielmendy9337 3 жыл бұрын
Nice
@hadeelalharthi9604
@hadeelalharthi9604 3 жыл бұрын
The only tips that work with long distance relationship is if both are madly in love with each other everything will workout with them but if not how matter are tips are giving to them they will not work ... I had try different ways to work my distance relationship but I love the guy truly he end up our relationship !!
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
YES - you must be in love. AND you must also be the kind of person who can do the distance... not everyone finds it possible!
@MOOMOO2728
@MOOMOO2728 3 жыл бұрын
Right. The other person has to be right on that same level. Or even the type of guy who wants to do all that. But I do think they are nice ideas and hopefully one of those could be done.
@jnnfrcyy____
@jnnfrcyy____ 2 жыл бұрын
I thought that was Novak Djokovic in the thumbnail at first🤣
@isabellacosby3339
@isabellacosby3339 3 жыл бұрын
I’m about to get into a LDR with a guy and I’m so scared I’ll fail
@geec997
@geec997 3 жыл бұрын
This is so sweet 😍 but is it contradicting that you said “follow your heart/feeling” but swiping for your fam and friends’ date on SHIP (date people whom your friends approve as you mentioned)?
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
heheh what do you mean??? I just mean to invite your friends into the dating process for fun! Obviously, if you don't like them, don't date them just because your friend does 😂
@geec997
@geec997 3 жыл бұрын
@@luciebfink I meant, your comment in the end was brilliant: though people told you LDR was probably not gna work, but you and Michael still made it through even for 5 years. “When YOU know you know”, no matter how skeptical the others are. But on the other hand, if you let other people to swipe for you (decide whom you probably should date or not), does it mean you let other people to lead leading your decisions? For example, all my friends were very skeptical about my partner for almost half a year. But we have good feeling for each other. We even make LDR thru the whole Covid and get stronger. But if my friends had swiped for me, I would never even have chance to meet or get to know him. This is controversy to “When You know you know” or I should decide whom I should date. Happy to know more about what your think 😊
@liannegonzalez2913
@liannegonzalez2913 3 жыл бұрын
LDR aaaand expecting a baby. Could this be any harder? 😩
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
ahhhH!! You will get through it!!!
@saraduci5935
@saraduci5935 Жыл бұрын
❤❤❤
@Arysmuzikk
@Arysmuzikk 11 ай бұрын
long distance relationships work. only if you AND your partner wants it to.
@davisfamily9510
@davisfamily9510 3 жыл бұрын
I’m not in a relationship but the guy I like lives 4 hours away loll
@davisfamily9510
@davisfamily9510 3 жыл бұрын
But I don’t think he likes me so this is kinda sad and awkward
@aditiduttachowdhury5730
@aditiduttachowdhury5730 3 жыл бұрын
Hi Lucie I love your channel so much and it would mean the work if you responded. Love you!
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
Aww thank you so much!!!
@newtoeverything5093
@newtoeverything5093 3 жыл бұрын
The irony of using # and saying out of touch 🙈
@luciebfink
@luciebfink 3 жыл бұрын
HAHAH wow ironic to the max.
@toalopez
@toalopez Жыл бұрын
OMG if I had a woman talking none stop like this girl, I would've gotten divorced in 3 days.
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