How to Not Get Divorced After Having a Baby!

Рет қаралды 10,953

Жыл бұрын

#parenting #relationships #marriage
Relationships can be hard and having babies, while AMAZING, can also be very straining on your relationship. Let's talk about the common issues parents face in relationships after having kids and see how we can relieve some of the tensions you are feelings and provide some fresh hope for your marriage/partnership.
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Пікірлер: 52

@lilbsbluvr07 Жыл бұрын

I’m three months into being a first time mom and it’s been so incredibly hard on every aspect of my life. I have moments I enjoy it; but for the most part I miss my old life. I resent my husband sometimes because no matter how much he helps, the majority of responsibility of taking care of a baby will always fall on me. So hard to navigate it all. Thankful for your videos ❤

@peterhurst7377 Жыл бұрын

I feel the same. I'm feeding my baby right now and hubbie is working downstairs but really im 6 weeks in and I'm always feel like I'm failing. Not to mention I moved countries to be with his family with no support .

@jess_hover Жыл бұрын

Ugh these feelings are so hard and normal! I’m sorry but hang in there, this is all very new for you guys and it takes time to adjust! If you need support join the VGMC membership community and we can chat weekly via zoom! The moms in there are amazing and so encouraging. You’ll feel seen in the best way.

@JennerationOfGrace Жыл бұрын

You are NOT alone, that's EXACTLY how I felt for months and months with my first baby. For me, the resentment did go down as I realized how capable I was at handling "it all". I still do miss my old life, but motherhood in general is much more enjoyable now. I pray the same will happen with you. There is no greater shock than the change your life will go through when you have that first baby

@lilbsbluvr07 Жыл бұрын

@@JennerationOfGrace this made me tear up, thank you so much for your encouragement. I so badly want to enjoy my son and be happy and enjoy being a mom. I’m home all day thinking about how I’m not cut out for this mom thing. It’s incredibly hard. When did you finally feel like you enjoyed it?

@lilbsbluvr07 Жыл бұрын

@@peterhurst7377 I can’t even imagine moving countries. That would add a whole other challenge. I sympathize with you. I remember six weeks in and the lack of sleep and how new everything still felt.

@jenniferthomson3279 Жыл бұрын

3 kids. Married 17yrs. After the first child was definitely hard. But we got through it. It's nice knowing it's normal. Ride it out and it settles down again. It's just one page in a big book is a good description.

@natachajel6788 Жыл бұрын

I loved the reminder of the pressure we put on our spouses to be everything, thank you for your videos ♡

@Daymickey Жыл бұрын

😮 Did the Lord tell you to make this video for me? This is crazy timing. Hubby and I are seeking counseling actually trying to save our marriage.

@PLopez-bs5xs Жыл бұрын

Thank you!!!! Such sound "advice"? It echoes a lot of my thoughts and gives me a push to keep working on us ❤️

@CBullman163 Жыл бұрын

I needed this 🙌🏻❤️ thanks so much Jess

@ftmbytalita Жыл бұрын

Yes! Such great advice🙌🏼

@marykathrynpegram4877 Жыл бұрын

You are a beautiful, incredible human being! Thank you for this.

@rainbird2372 Жыл бұрын

This video was so reassuring thank you so much. I’m having my baby in June and have been anxious about this, but now I feel more confident about it all.

@kimbershark Жыл бұрын

SO glad I found you!!! I'm having a difficult time this time around adjusting to MH. It doesn't help that my husband is stationed in TX and I'm in WA. Because of how crazy TX is right now I did NOT feel comfortable being pregnant or postpartum there. Thankfully he's coming back here soon ♡ You're absolutely right about being more private and careful sharing private information. I have a feeling you and I both went through similar situations and you're 100% right about people holding onto the negative. After all this is our relationship, not anyone else's.

@Daymickey Жыл бұрын

I almost want to send this to my husband but I feel he needs the male perspective. Would your husband be willing to share his thoughts in a follow up video?

@jess_hover Жыл бұрын

Good idea! I’ll ask Shaun to make one with me

@gardenmgr2035 Жыл бұрын

Please!! Great idea

@Dana-mb1hd Жыл бұрын

Jessica thank you for this topic! I didn’t know how hard to keep the connection would be after having my baby. Thank you ❤

@jess_hover Жыл бұрын

You are so welcome! Glad it is helpful for you!

@missloretta Жыл бұрын

Such an important message!!! And such a rare one. I really believe in the power of marriage and I am praying for everyone's marriage who watches this video. Marriage can be and is such a beautiful helpful blessing, but that doesn't mean I haven't wanted to tear my hair out over how maddening things were at certain times in my marriage. 😂 But all in all it's just part of my deep connection with my husband and the fascinating journey that we're on.

@juliekaunitz536 Жыл бұрын

Jess!! Your blouse is SO flattering! May I ask where you got it?

@jess_hover Жыл бұрын

Thank you!! The thrift store actually! My friend Becca found it for me!

@morgenrieth5445 Жыл бұрын

Couldn’t come at a better time!! I’m five weeks postpartum and phewwwww 🥵 😅 I needed this talk from someone who’s been there bc it’s ROUGH

@jess_hover Жыл бұрын

It is! It gets easier!! Hang in there. Thank you for watching! ❤️

@Michelle-gh2hl Жыл бұрын

Hey Jess! What sleep training method did you use?

@AnneliseBlackbriar Жыл бұрын

Great timing! We had a tough time after our first baby, but made it to a really great spot. I'm a little nervous though because currently pregnant with baby #2.

@rsvpevents6780 Жыл бұрын

Such excellent advice!

@alexandremorin11 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this

@jess_hover Жыл бұрын

Thank you for watching!! ❤️

@Daymickey Жыл бұрын

Wouldn’t it be so great if there was like a class or support group for failing marriages or marriages in hard seasons? Very Good Couples Club maybe? Couples therapy is awesome and all but I think also it’s fruitful and helpful to know you’re not alone in your struggles and understand how it impacts other couples. Anyone know of anything like that? I guess a marriage workshop or conference is somewhat close.

@jess_hover Жыл бұрын

Maybe we could dedicate a class or call to it inside of Very Good Mothers Club! It’s very common to struggle after having kids ❤️

@Iknowbetter1984 Жыл бұрын

I never got the chance,I fell into depression some of her expectations were too high for me to meet we couldn't agree on anything she would avoid me I'd call or text but she told me I was harassing her when I'd call from work on my break concerned as anyone should be,I ended up leaving work after not hearing from her for over 2 weeks and found she had my daughter with out me,I felt cheated I never had family and would fantasize about the day I'd welcome my first born into this world,her parents didn't help I'm black she's white I lost myself along the way it's been 4 years and I haven't been able to be in her life 💔 I still love her but she's moved on and hates me now ,I know no feeling that is closer to hell then this.

@claudiajade624 Жыл бұрын

Yup. It's tough. Bubba is now 6 months and am prioritising hiring a babysitter once a month so we can go out for lunch just the 2 of us. First one yesterday and was weird but so Good and important I think..

@createconsiderconnect3356 Жыл бұрын

❤

@GenericNintendoKid 6 ай бұрын

What if your partner wants a divorce 2 months before the baby arrives?

@tequilabumbum4373 7 ай бұрын

My boyfriend keeps telling me that I need to Complain less… when things are so hard and I burnout, I feel I should be able to share how I feel with him and get his support. Im I bei g crazy here?

@olyacarell6434 6 ай бұрын

You are crazy, but not for the reason you stated.

@olyacarell6434 6 ай бұрын

He said he wanted a kid. I never said I wanted them. So, if he can't handle something HE said he wanted - tough! 😂

@glorialara447 Жыл бұрын

And what if the father always puts you down for everything, nothing is EVER enough, has insulted you many many times, and... There is no intimacy, nothing. No family to rely on or no possibility to leave....

@indiaac1 7 ай бұрын

What’s the man stressed from? He didn’t just push out a human

@avaliausd. 3 ай бұрын

Yes, but he did go through 9 months of mood swings, neglect, and complete servitude. Without much of any appreciation, might I add. And some men move to having to be the sole money maker in the household while she's sick, which is no small deal considering how bad the economy is. And let's not forget the lack of sex and physical intimacy, which is very important to alot of men. A lot of women don't understand how lonely and irritating it is for a man to be around a woman going through the pregnancy hormones and her emotions. And if you, as a man, say anything negative about it; then you're the bad guy. It's a trial that have caused some people to divorce. Pregnancy is physically hard on women and mentally hard on men.

@ART-kp9cn 2 ай бұрын

Right, its not like men have to work and take on the financial pressure, or that many men are equally involved in many aspects of caring for their children. I'm sorry but you're comment is ignorant.

@tuutiefruity Жыл бұрын

Maybe just remember your vows, "for better or worse". I don't care how unhelpful your man is in the baby stage, fight as much as you want, but to initiate a divorce is terribly selfish & shows a complete lack of values. Your word & loyalty will mean nothing to any future guy. Your kids will grow up in a broken home. Grow up and make it work.

@SarahRichardsGraba Жыл бұрын

Yikes 😬

@kernaishaxoxo Жыл бұрын

So suffer?

@tuutiefruity 11 ай бұрын

@@kernaishaxoxo Yes, carry your load. Do what you have to do to prevent your kids from suffering, they're what's important now. If you're smart & mature then you can figure it out without having to suffer.