How to Overcome People Pleasing and Get Your Needs Met

How to Overcome People Pleasing and Get Your Needs Met | YOU MATTER.

Рет қаралды 1,262

Күн бұрын

Do you get praised for being "easy" or "going with the flow" but deep down, feel exhausted? Us, too. In this episode, we explore the hidden costs of people pleasing. We discuss how this behavior is rooted in childhood experiences and the belief that our needs are a burden. We unpack the connection between people pleasing and codependency, and how we often absorb discomfort to keep others happy. We delve into the fear of being selfish and the challenge of advocating for ourselves. Finally, we share practical steps, based on our own experiences, to help you reconnect with your needs, find your voice, and start setting healthy boundaries. Learn how to break free from people pleasing and allow yourself to be supported by the people who care about you.
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Пікірлер: 13

@ShhhhhhImsleeping 3 ай бұрын

This is such an important conversation and bleeds into so many aspects of our lives. It's specially important when you understand that the consequence is to be out of touch with yourself and you can go years without asking for something that you wanted, fighting for something, daring to believe in a dream, or speak up and make others uncomfortable or dissapointed. When you do, you might disburb the harmony you so much crave, but you survive, you learn to trust that others can deal with it and it's their job/work to do not yours, and you feel more whole, more yourself. I've worked on this for years and I feel like now I can openly disagree with a friend, doubt myself less, inconvenience someone when it's not "strictly necessary" at times, speak about my feelings and own them... but the mechanism is still in place in such an automatic way that it takes time to take out the pieces one by one and build a new one. It takes time, and we need to give ourselves compassion instead of perfection, because that would be further mistreatment. Thanks again for a great podcast, love you both and your conversations and your pure hearts

@racheltaylor2501 3 ай бұрын

Thanks for the wonderful, enlightening content! ❤

@emilyw2790 3 ай бұрын

Wow. Thank you SO much. Really hit home so many of these. For me it comes down to people close to me having a negative reaction to my needs whether they verbally say or with their actions like huffing, quiet, short spoken etc. so I think I tend to put myself out because I'd rather inconvenience me and have them happy than to feel uncomfortable with their reaction to my request. I know it's a their problem more so than mine but it is hard. 2 people in my life who have hurt me the most/ left me are those too who I struggled to say my needs to because of their reactions towards me after

@CocoBebeWawa 2 ай бұрын

The nuisances of people pleasing that’s discussed in this episode has really been hitting the nail on its head for me. Thank you so much

@13eautifulDreamer 3 ай бұрын

This was so relatable! Hearing things out loud and from your perspectives is so valuable.

@catherineelisephotography 3 ай бұрын

Hi lovely humans. I’ve been listening along to your informative experiences since my little human arrived 13 months ago. I can’t thank you enough for this specific topic and conversation. I’m in tears, because you have articulated something that has been my number one struggle in the roles I live day to day. Thank you for choosing to facilitate this space, and for giving such beneficial applications moving forward in saying yes to making space. I’ve found it very hopeful when this past year I have been not in a great head space. Kindness to you both, Cat (from Melbourne, Australia).

@lyndseyrowe2799 2 ай бұрын

I loved this. I have 2 toddlers, 1 with autism and he has a very hard time sharing and taking turns and will take toys off his sister. The temptation to ask my daughter to let him have her toy and her to play with something else to "keep the peace" is real strong sometimes (he has massive meltdowns if he doesnt get his way) but hearing your conversation about the effects of being made to share has really hit home with me that I dont want her to grow up a people pleaser like me. My mum really instilled "manners" on me but to the point where i was trained to care more about others opinion of my than myself and hence became a people pleaser to a fault. I loved this conversation, thank you ❤

@krissycus 3 ай бұрын

I went to therapy for a decade over my people pleasing, and you two still brought me fresh perspective and new examples to chew on. So good. I was chuckling when you were talking about trying to be a "good" customer at a restaurant- when I was young, my friend in middle school told me, "Whenever you ask for ketchup or a refill from the waiter, you look like you are really guilty, like you're asking for this huge major favor." That was the first time someone made me aware of my people pleasing.

@chelseybrown14 3 ай бұрын

This is exactly the podcast I needed to hear!! Going to take allll these suggestions! Found your channel through one of your posts about cervical cancer and was so excited to hear about the Very Good Enough moms-what a great name. Thank you for exploring these topics!