How To Prepare For Child Custody Mediation

How To Prepare For Child Custody Mediation | Court Ordered Mediation

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Are You Ready For Your Court-Sponsored Child Custody Mediation? - In Episode 91, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about child custody mediation that is conducted by the Court, not a private mediator. Whether your Court system keeps the mediation private or has the mediator report to the Judge, there are certain things you should do and say and certain things you should not. If you want things to go your way, you need to be prepared with an effective strategy for communicating your desires and concerns involving your children. Listen now as we share our insights from years of coaching hundreds of parents in preparing for custody mediation. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!
Are you preparing for FCS, CCRC, or Child Custody mediation in California? Preparation is key! Click the link below to purchase Thomas' 27-page e-book to make sure you're prepared. It is so much easier to get a good result if you're prepared than it is to repair the damage if you mess it up! Know what to expect and how to appropriately express your concerns about your child(ren). CLICK HERE: su243.infusionsoft.com/app/ma...

Пікірлер: 68

@WileyCat101 Жыл бұрын

You are correct that this should ALWAYS be about the children and their safety. Allowing God to lead you NOT your past hurts or fears. Forgiving the other parent through Jesus and walking in God’s grace is the ONLY way to survive this. I’ve walked it and I know. God will ALWAYS make a way where there seems to be no way! 🙌 Speak LIFE and LOVE over your children!

@divorceuniversityonline Жыл бұрын

Amen @David Wiley!

@josegoestosc 8 ай бұрын

AMEN!

@realtalk6340 3 жыл бұрын

Exactly, it’s not fair. That how these liars win, almost 100% of the time.

@edithjimenez5265 2 ай бұрын

Brilliant advice !

@modklv126 2 жыл бұрын

I am a single father preparing for my first mediation and I hope the bias attitude is not like this in family court, this slams dad's as the problem hypothetically too much

@NovatheDawn Жыл бұрын

Most times that is the case. But just be honest.

@divorceuniversityonline Жыл бұрын

Sorry @Nicknack702, that's not our intent. We're just trying to help people with the realities of their situation based on what we observe in our own cases.

@JB-rv1to Жыл бұрын

@@NovatheDawn , Willing to share the stats that backs up that claim?

@haleyworden4 10 ай бұрын

Great advice, glad I found yall

@divorceuniversityonline 10 ай бұрын

Us too!

@ericlhoskinson 3 жыл бұрын

Im amazed how many times in The video you portray the dad, father, husband to be the bad guy, influencer or the negative part of the situation. As dad's we already have our work cut out for us against a biased system and to hear even lawyers portray us in that manner really sucks. I hop you someday feel the pain and burdens of not being allowed to see your kids just because your the male in the situation.

@divorceuniversityonline 3 жыл бұрын

I agree with you that the system is frequently biased against Dads. We try to give real examples to help you deal with what is actually happening in court. Unfortunately, we can't change the system, we can only try to help you navigate it successfully. 👍

@rekintoloco 4 ай бұрын

Thank you!

@1on133 2 жыл бұрын

I'm going in freezing cold! My lawyer hasn't prepared me or even talked to me about it. I found out from the judges secretary calling me last week

@divorceuniversityonline 2 жыл бұрын

OMG! We offer coaching services to prep you. Thomas and I (Tammy) both do this so you can do it with whichever of us you prefer. There are other people that prep as well so PLEASE get prep from someone. Don’t go in cold. It’s so hard to recover if this goes poorly. If you need us call 760-990-4752 or email tammy@divorceuniversityonline.com.

@salvadorsalas7709 Жыл бұрын

I love you guys

@Eyes_dont_Lie 3 жыл бұрын

Omg i just found this ch. i am gonna watch this hopefully it helps. I really need help im trying to get time with my child

@sakiinakbey3381 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks

@divorceuniversityonline 3 жыл бұрын

No problem!

@George-yy7sb Жыл бұрын

I have been in custody court with my ex since 2015 and recently just started mediation they didn't tell me they would write any kind of report to the Court I was actually told that it's all confidential and the only thing that can be admitted to the court would be what we agreed on if we agree on anything. I'm in Erie county New York

@krystalroxX7 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much! One of the most thorough vids I’ve seen xx I might be subject to mediation in Florida of all states (scary) for my 13 year old! I’m scared!!

@mycatsnameiskaren8253 2 жыл бұрын

I'm about to have mediation in Florida in 3 weeks over child custody 6 years after our divorce. I'm terrified.

@krystalroxX7 2 жыл бұрын

@@mycatsnameiskaren8253 I never got served and he ghosted. This too shall pass! Sending you hugs I promise you things will be fine! I lost so much sleep and probably aged 5bl years during that time. Take care of yourself so that you can kick his a-- in mediation.

@mycatsnameiskaren8253 2 жыл бұрын

@@krystalroxX7 thank you for your encouraging words. Right now I just can't stop crying. The closer to the date I get, the worst I get. I'm very worried that I'm not gonna be strong during the actual mediation. His narcissism knows no boundaries and he hasn't spoken to me in over 6 years other than text message about our daughters, which is usually condescending and dishonest. I will need a literal miracle from God to survive this.... but I will. ❤️

@AILLC 6 ай бұрын

I have a custody mediation for FL on Jan 9, my ex wife is in Fl and I’m in AL, however my ex wife has not been reasonable at all so I’m thinking this mediation will fail for the third time.

@funwithafeather 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you all the way from nc.

@jaxxwade2873 3 жыл бұрын

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@gaelridge6501 3 жыл бұрын

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@bransonharlem9462 3 жыл бұрын

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@karsoncolt1866 3 жыл бұрын

@Jaxx Wade definitely, I have been watching on KaldroStream for since november myself :)

@simonkade7052 3 жыл бұрын

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@ritzismynamo 3 жыл бұрын

I'm in Garden Grove Ca. We did mediation through the court. I'm so confused on the recommending county and non recommending. We agreed in mediation and I have court hearing in the next 6 days. My thought process was if we agreed on a parenting plan in mediation then that would be submitted to the court. For that reason I didn't file the FL320 form. Another concern is I filed for visitation in 2016. We both never heard anything back and things were working fine. Until this year that I filed for child support. The father got upset then filed for visitation so the court opened up the case again with the same case number. So on court papers I'm the petitioner because I'm the original file. So again do I need to submit the FL 320? I'm freaking out because it says I had to do this 9 days before our hearing. I tried calling today for self help and I realized its Columbus day so its closed. Please help me out. I'm freaking out! Our court hearing is in Lamoureux in Fullerton, CA

@divorceuniversityonline 3 жыл бұрын

Maritza, if you reached agreement, the Court should just adopt that agreement as the order. The FL-320 is primarily for putting forth your opposition or agreement to Dad's request. But again, if you have agreement, it should be fine. Worst case scenario, you can tell the Judge you didn't think you needed to file an FL-320 because you reached agreement in FCS and ask that he/she give you a continuance to allow you time to file your response. OC is non-recommending, that just means that if you don't reach agreement, your mediator is no longer involved and the Judge decides custody (in that case you would want your FL-320 filed because it's the only information your Judge would have on what's currently happening). But since you reached agreement, that shouldn't be necessary. Did the mediator give you a copy of the agreement? Did you both sign it? Just for comparison, in recommending counties (i.e. San Diego), if the parties do not reach agreement, the mediator writes a report to the Judge with their recommendations for a parenting plan. I hope that helps!

@ritzismynamo 3 жыл бұрын

@@divorceuniversityonline omg yes it does! I used a program through the court to efile and it wont let me chose which form I want to file. I spend hours answering interview questions on this program called odyssey only for it to had fill our the request for order form FL 300. Lol!! Its 4am and I'm so glad I'm seeing ur comment. I'm just gonna say screw it and not respond and ask for continuance like you mentioned if worst comes to worse. I really really really appreciate your response!! Thanks so much!!

@ritzismynamo 3 жыл бұрын

@@divorceuniversityonline and I forgot...yes we were both emailed parental agreements. Not signed because mediation was done over the phone. And cory hearing will also be over a video call. Anyways hopefully it works out how I hope and judge just signs it and we are good to go. Luckily most of the agreement was the same. Only thing we disagreed on was holidays.

@brettmorin2844 Жыл бұрын

Do you guys have a mediation prep? I have one coming up on June 7th and just want to be as prepared as I can.

@divorceuniversityonline Жыл бұрын

Hi Brett, yes I do. Can you email me at tammy@divorceuniversityonline.com and I can give you more details.

@marlacarlson2586 2 жыл бұрын

Can you discuss Constitutional Protected Parental Rights when a deceased parent's parents(Grandparents) filed for Custody. There are concerns they are very manipulative. Concerns of their drinking and marijuana usage, failure to inform parent of a head injury to child.(When other parent was alive, child suffered another head injury while children were with him and the grandparent took child to emergency room and did not inform mother of children of incident at the time or when he brought child back to her on child's court ordered day to receive children.

@divorceuniversityonline 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the suggestion! We’ll cover this in an upcoming episode!

@1on133 2 жыл бұрын

I have mediation tomorrow at 2pm in the county of Pike in Missouri, I'm really nervous to be completely honest. Do you no if they are a reporting county.

@divorceuniversityonline 2 жыл бұрын

I don’t know. Is it mediation just on custody or your whole case?

@divorceuniversityonline 2 жыл бұрын

It looks like It can be recommending at the Supreme Court level but I assume you are just in the Judicial Court. At the Judicial Court level it is not recommending, it’s true mediation to try to help the two of you reach agreements. If you don’t, the Court makes the decision. That’s probably why your attorney didn’t feel the need to prep you.

@elijahdigg7567 3 жыл бұрын

Any suggestions on where I can get prep for my court date. My daughter mom moved out of state with my daughter without letting me know or getting permission from the court we have joint custody together the judge granted me emergency temporary custody but twice my daughter mom didn’t return the baby or when I went out there to get my daughter and use the police to enforce it she did not answer the door she sent her sister to the door also they haven’t sent me a copy of my police report can I just give the judge the police report number and the officer name. We went to mediation birthday and come up with her agreement so our court date is next month I haven’t seen my daughter in five months

@divorceuniversityonline 3 жыл бұрын

Hi Elijah, yes Thomas can help you prepare for Court. Feel free to call is at 760-990-4752 or email me at tammy@myfamilylawoffice.com.

@elijahdigg7567 3 жыл бұрын

@@divorceuniversityonline ok thanks a lot I will call first thing tomorrow

@gigglekeyon 2 жыл бұрын

@@elijahdigg7567 how did it turn out?

@GODS_OUTLAW Жыл бұрын

That's horrible, how did the situation turn out?

@shomarimonroe150 3 жыл бұрын

Fantastic video

@divorceuniversityonline 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks! 😃

@larryjohnson2339 3 жыл бұрын

Is fresno recommended or non recommended

@divorceuniversityonline 3 жыл бұрын

Larry, Fresno has both. They use a 3 tier system. Tier 1 FCS is confidential mediation where the parties try to reach agreement. If no agreement is reached, mediation ends. In Tier 2, the counselor writes a report to the Court of their findings and any information gather from outside sources such as Child Welfare, therapists, police, etc. and sometimes they interview the children. In Tier 3, the counselor writes a recommendation. So, I believe you always start at Tier 1 and then the Judge can order Tier 2 or 3 at their discretion. Here is the link to the info on the Court's website: www.fresno.courts.ca.gov/family/family_court_services.php#4

@Sara_Raney 2 жыл бұрын

How do you find out of your county is reccomending or not?

@divorceuniversityonline 2 жыл бұрын

Sara, you can usually find it on your county court’s website. What county are you in? I have a spreadsheet and I can tell you if it’s recommending or not.

@Sara_Raney 2 жыл бұрын

@@divorceuniversityonline I am in Dinwiddie County Virginia. I heard yall were in California but if you had that information it would be very helpful. If not I understand, I have looked on the Virginia Judicial site but I didn't think to check the county one.

@divorceuniversityonline 2 жыл бұрын

@@Sara_Raney FCS is part of the child custody process in California. Some states have similar processes but I looked at Virginia and Dinwiddie County and I don’t see anything similar.

@Sara_Raney 2 жыл бұрын

@@divorceuniversityonline Thank you for taking your time to do that. I looked up FCS and it sounds like the mediation in Virginia but then again, I have never been to mediation regarding visitation/custody before. It says mediation first and if we don't agree, then I go to the next scheduled court date. Only information I could really find was that it's confidential besides abuse which would be told to the judge. I will find out how it works soon though. But thanks so much again for looking that up for me and responding back. I really appreciate it!

@divorceuniversityonline 2 жыл бұрын

@@Sara_Raney No problem. It sounds like “non-recommending” to me. In other words if you don’t reach agreement in mediation, it would be left to the judge. But the same approach applies. I (Tammy) have a Free FB Challenge going on this week, you may find it helpful. If you want to join, go to: facebook.com/groups/393746638316627 and request to be added to the group.

@marianak742 Жыл бұрын

It's shocking how we have come to see kids playing outside is being portrayed as neglectful.

@divorceuniversityonline Жыл бұрын

@Mariana, we totally agree!

@stldrew6810 Жыл бұрын

I love everything you guys said until you said "fair" isn't a good enough reason.

@divorceuniversityonline Жыл бұрын

@STL Drew, unfortunately, “fairness” isn’t part of the equation for the Court. Even if it should be morally, it’s important to understand that the Court to does not make it’s decisions through the lens of fairness.

@brianhanson5234 3 жыл бұрын

Funny how the inherent biases against father's even rear there head in a tip video. "He" is an alcoholic, "He" let's them play in the street, "Dad" was never around. When people who are paid to represent even have this mindset, how can a good father ever get a reasonable result?

@divorceuniversityonline 3 жыл бұрын

Hi Brian, I guess that's because we try to give real life examples and yes, the accusations do come from Mom more often than Dad. That's the reality of the situation. Our goal is to help you manage what's actually happening. It's not helpful for us to pretend it's different just to appear to be "fair". It's helpful if we can teach you how to succeed in Court despite Mom's accusations. If you listen to us for any length of time, you'll know that we are firm believers that children need both parents. You get a good result by focusing on your relationship with the kids.

@ericlhoskinson 3 жыл бұрын

I couldn't agree with you more. I noticed the same thing and commented before I saw your post. Even lawyers show bias against us. How are we ever truly supposed to have a fair chance at having a somewhat normal relationship with our kids?

@benzin81 5 ай бұрын

I applaud you for attempting to present this information from a real life perspective, but it’s frustrating to see that the reality is, ego, personal bias, and societal assumptions, absolutely impact the outcome of what is supposed to be a “fair and just” system. You speak of stroking the egos of the judge. You speak of using the word “fair” as a negative. You speak of mentioning financial concerns as a negative. If a judges ego and discussion of fairness are major factors, then the system you represent, which is supposed to be built on fairness, is a complete joke. From a financial aspect, I assure you that money will almost always be a major concern. The system decides how little you can see your child, then imposes a higher financial burden upon you based exactly on how little THEY allow you to see your child. For the average blue collar, middle class parent (those not billing $300/hr for services) the financial aspect will ALWAYS be a high priority. The way you (the legal system) attempt to brush off that fact and even dissuade that from being an argument, feels more like a tactic used to try and relieve yourselves of the burden of financially ruining someone’s life. Thank you for the video.