Most pain ever . It's so hard to stay function. I feel like my life is over . My case being manipulated and coach .

Agreed

Absolutely! And I have not met any judges smart enough to see that....unless you spoon feed the judge, and talk to them like they are 10 years old.

Agreed. My ex has pushed buttons, dog whistling, and been manipulative. He has been verbally, emotionally, abusive for years. I've been a frog in a boiling pot of water for a very long time. He is now doing this to our child. It is infuriating me to be basically railroaded into being a great, cooperative, coparent with someone who has been abusing and intimidating me.

Me they just denied me emergency costody when he's tried to kill me and my kids

Facts!!

How did it go???

Lol, I guess I got a bit chatty on that one! The judge ruled fairly. I didn't get everything I wanted, but at least we have established guidelines now. We needed that more than anything else. Hope that answers your question!@@fromnothingtosomething8102

I’m watching this video two days before my court date She has lawyer I have God Text messages FaceTime calls Cash app receipts Date & Time and reason Two DSS unfounded cases 4 police reports of false allegations I UPS theses Documents to read over

Sadly agreed, The child(ren) are effected immensely

All the mother does is say the kids don't want to on visitation anymore. Or the kids are sick, next month too. The father has no chance of being in his child's life. The court don't care. All they care about is if the man is paying child support.

As a father I think it's important to understand this also happens to women. My wife is currently dealing with alienation.the father convinced the child to rebel and escalate conflict. Bio dad then Took restraining order preventing us from involving the police to address the issues. Finally, to avoid consequences,the child lied about abuse and we are both now fighting false allegations and criminal charges. He alienated the poor kid so completely against his mother he refuses all communication and is filled with anger and hatred towards her. The goal is to gain sole custody so he never has to listen to his "stupid lib" mother ever again

Fully agree!

This happens in reverse as well. I was being a cooperative yet protective parent of my kids. Dad went to court for full custody with lies and denial of his transgressions. He won and now I have not seen or spoke to my 3 & 6 year old in two weeks. He is doing everything he wrongfully accused me of. It is traumatic for my children most importantly.

@Justin Hiatt, we understand, we've both been through it with our own kids. We agree, family court is hell. You have to pick your battles and laugh at the rest or you'll go insane.

That's the thing. You both have gone thru it. There will be people starting family court for the very first time tomorrow. They're not at the point to laugh or you'll go insane.@@divorceuniversityonline

It's a serious matter needs much more professionalism than just laughing

The military joke and laugh a lot too…most of them don’t find the killing part fun though. Nor are these two making fun of divorce.

They're recording a podcast. They are not dealing with people and their cases here so they are allowed to laugh. Chill out people. If you offended by this then I'm not surprised that you getting divorce😂😂😂

I record everything. I'm in a public place. I have court on April 9th 2024. I got her ass. She is lucky I'm not a dick or I would do what she wouldn't for one second hesitant to do to me, get full custody. My children need both their mom and dad. And I would never remove their mom from their lives unless it was something absolutely extreme.

@@Perpetuallyoffended Keep recording she will try to remove you. Happened to me. They need something to fight about and you love your kids. You'd fight with her for them. Becareful!

@@jefferyf7359 I'm not understanding.

Yes, keep a record. No, don't use that record unless asked or the other party directly contradicts the record under oath and then only reveal the conflicting information.

Thanks for your feedback. We’ve both been through it and understand how very painful it is. It’s a heavy subject, which we are in all day every day. So, we try to find the humor when possible. As they say, if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. We are in no way trying to be disrespectful of the situation.

They did a good job! laughing to me is showing they are real telling you like it is!

@@Kylietherianann Thanks! We try to keep it real!

Agreed. It’s not funny especially when there are small children involved who will grow up traumatized

@@divorceuniversityonline I do like the information, however I thought you guys were pretty obnoxious lol. but I appreciate the information.

I agree....trying to prove abuse for example...and no one is listening Child begs not to go back and says disturbing ways they are mistreated........parent is a narrsissist and gets enjoyment out of so many elements of the situation...Definitely not funny.

Makes sense. I think that with the high probability of bias against dads in court, you have to highlight the mother's major weaknesses as a parent, if any, instead of Sweeping them under the rug. But it can't be petty stuff. It has to be real things that matter, like her violence, anger mgmt issues, her keeping the kids away from dad for no reason, her lying in court, real cases of child neglect, etc.

I'm glad it was helpful! Just remember, to be consistent with whatever time the court gives you to start with and that will help you get more time in the future.

Hey how did it go ?

Dealing with the same thing, went to court for preliminary 2 weeks ago, she has failed to abide by any order from the court thus far. This has gone on for four years. My biggest advice, do parenting courses voluntarily, keep a record of drug tests, keep records of all communication. Make yourself look like a saint, the judge will see what you’re doing and want you to be a part of your child’s life.

Offer to use Mediation with her. #1 first step if you haven't offered and tried. Offer to use Our Family Wizard for communications. These steps look HUGE at family court. Legal steps you've taken in your efforts that are easily documented. OFW helps document and save everything. You'll need it. Get an attorney immediately. You'll want help. See if you can put the cost on her for being alienating. Good Luck!

Agreed, every situation can be either parent. We just try to share the most common scenario or actual example we have recently seen.

I definitely wish it wasn't presented that way either as it's such an unfair stereotype. But we can use true stats about mothers getting 90% of custody, etc.

Why is everyone so obsessed with gender. Get past the words and listen to what is being said. Useful knowledge is being given out and it is sad to see thin skinned individuals overlooking what actually matters.

E E E E E E x a c t l y….. IM.. - HONESTLYYY. .,, Nottt-Understanding… YOU ARE RIGHT!!!???!!!??? I, DO-NOTT-LIKEEE…. EEEEITHER, Of These FOLKS…

They're talking about the typical. Quit nitpicking faults and picking words apart. That's how relationships are ruined.

How did it go ?

Any updates brotha?

@LittyLinx court wasn't in my favor, and she ended up just complying so now I see my son 3 weekends out of the month which is not bad

@@oldhpirs4 Hi - What do you mean not in your favor? Were you asking for more time with your son?

@Keri Caswell, we're glad it was helpful!

Did your kids live with your ex 6 months before the final decision?

@@Swangcity_ent yup

I know how you feel

I know how you feel. My ex blindsided me. I wasn't aware he was even planning on leaving. He didn't pay the bills, left me with nothing the three kids and moved in with someone else. Then reported me for child neglect for the utilities being off. But they were in his name so I couldn't do anything. Took me a while to get 50/50. But I got there. People can be absolutely ruthless with children.

@Lauren Quarles, you are welcome!

@Jacey Hurst, thanks, sounds like you have some personal experience. Hope it helped to know you are not alone!

@JUDGEMENT1973 This is Tammy. Don’t worry, the laughter has completely stopped. Thomas passed away unexpectedly a few months ago.

😢🙏

I'm sorry guys but the laughing when people's families are on the line is just too much. Nothing you've said makes any sense or any difference when you pair it with a bunch of giggling

Respect to you for pointing out facts.

I agree with you. Do both. But make sure you are reasonable.

Hi Courtney, sorry, we just realized we missed responding to your message. We hope everything went well. In our experience, the Court is most concerned with your relationship to the children, not your financial state. The medical condition should not be an issue either unless it causes you to be unable to parent. We're glad the videos have been helpful. You can also check out our full podcast episodes and other services at www.divorceuniversityonline.com

Did it go well?

@@divorceuniversityonline I'm hoping that you read my comment on parental alienation.

I have the similar circumstances and there’s always an attack 😮😢

great point

@Tamara Gorman, agreed! We're just trying to give examples, not trying to make a villain out of any specific gender.

Yes it has a lot to do with male and female. 10-15 % of the males are sneaky and 40-60 % of the females. Females plan divorce and file 90 % of the time.

This is best comments in this matter. Very meaningful and informative.

@@mdhossen7788 thank you

You’re welcome!

Yes, we can! Thanks for the suggestion!

There points are correct it's extremely difficult I tried to settle the matter. I'm trying to do what's best it takes everything in me not to react to his behavior I haven't responded to him. I just push forward and ignore the behavior.

I'm almost in same situation. Praying for you, it's heartbreaking to see, endure and no one cares it seems in court system. You are not alone.

@Robyn Edward, we're sorry you're dealing with this. You're right, in many ways, there is no other choice. Rest assured, in the long run, the children will see all the things you sucked up in order to protect them. Hang in there! Sounds like you're doing a great job.

@George sontag, that's horrible! I'm not sure what state you are in but in California the trend is toward joint custody. Sometimes, Mom succeed in getting more parenting time in the beginning of the case but most of the time the parties eventually end up with some form of joint custody unless there are what we call "red flag issues".

@Regina Villalobos, the Court isn't really judging based on what is fair or unfair. All things being equal, they want the child to have time with both parents. I don't know how old your son is but it sounds like you have been the primary parent. So, I would focus on telling the Court about your bond with your son, not on bashing Dad. We're glad the videos are helpful. You may also want to join Tammy's free FB Group for Moms, which will help you a lot. Here is the link if you want to join: facebook.com/groups/custodyformoms

@@divorceuniversityonline Thank you so much for your comment and dedication to making these videos, I will write my supplemental declaration in this fashion.

@@villalobosregina We're happy to support you, I (Tammy) know self-representation isn't easy. There are more resources in my Facebook Group that will help you with the declaration writing. So, please check that out before you start as I think it will provide a deeper dive.

It takes a father to raise a son, just as much of not more than the mother. To be fair. Maybe the father saw this and you didn’t.

Same situation dear my my appointment is for November 7th and I don't even have a witness I'm so scared to lose my kids.

@Ashley Bellerose, we know how overwhelming the anxiety can be. We're glad the video was helpful. If you'd like more ongoing help, you can join Tammy's free Facebook Group for Moms. Here is the link: facebook.com/groups/custodyformoms

@i-luv-Hecklefish, Tammy grew up in a very small town in Kentucky and understands your dilemma. There is a lot here that is hard to explain without knowing more details. What state are you in? You can check out our website www.divorceuniversityonline.com for more podcast episodes. You may also benefit from joining Tammy's free FB Group, which you can find here: facebook.com/groups/custodyformoms

@@divorceuniversityonline The mountains of Western N.C. From a town where you have to drive nearly 40 minutes if you want to buy toilet paper.

@@i_luv_hecklefish I frequently hear from my female coaching clients that they feel the Court won't listen to them. There is a strategy to how you have to approach the issues. If you'd like more help, you can join my free Facebook Group for Moms here: facebook.com/groups/custodyformoms

@i_luv_hecklefish from the same area and my wife is dealing with almost the exact same thing with her ex.

@Andrew Araujo, if you'd like some ongoing help, you can join Thomas' free FB Group for Dads. Here is the link: facebook.com/groups/custodyfordads

@joseph delgado, you are most welcome! Glad it was helpful.

Rick, thanks for your question. That would depend on the laws in the Country/State where her and the kids currently reside.

Dee, the Courts will try to create a gradual plan that would eventually allow Dad to have overnights but they aren't likely to jump from 2 hour visits straight to overnight. They would likely start by increasing the length of the daytime visits with the goal of gradually doing overnights.

@Dee Wells, rules maybe different in different states because I’m in Delaware going through the same exact thing, full time mom of a two year old and the father sees him once a week, no child support was ever given. During mediation, I stated my concerns with the father having a rodent issue and using RAT POISON to solve his issues and not to mention he has never had my child overnight, however the mediator issued him 4days during the week plus every single weekend leaving me to only see my son 3days a week. I am now looking for a lawyer that I can afford

@@tammigrl8028 Sorry to hear this. Just a tip, and maybe you did this, but we’re always trying to help where we can. Always frame your issues in the context of “concerns” for the child’s health, safety, etc. and not “Dad does this” or “Dad’s house has this problem”. It just changes their perception of your motivation for bringing up the problem. We hope you’re able to find affordable help in Delaware!

@@divorceuniversityonline So if I understand you correctly the courts don’t really want to hear about anything bad that the father is doing or has done. This man pretended to be British and from England for the entire time my daughter dated him along with being married. If his lips are moving he’s lying. Right now his Sunday 2 hour visits are always in the presence of my daughter (she doesn’t trust him alone with the baby) and have always been close to our home cause the baby can’t handle long drives. His family has also been a part of a lot of those visits but are now wanting him to drive the 3 hour round trip to their house. How can you build trust with man that lied about so much? Would the courts insist she drive there or would they take into consideration that the baby gets car sick and screams on long car rides? It to mention if she has to leave him for any length of time he cries the whole time. I think the courts should always consider what’s best for the child and where he is in this stage of his life. No one has been denied visits and it shouldn’t be about the fact that the grandparents want him to see their sons house etc. if it’s going to cause trauma to the child then it isn’t in his best interest. What do you think?

@@deewells8173 I agree, the grandparents probably aren’t going to be a huge priority for the Court. I’m not saying they don’t care about the issues with Dad, I’m saying, you have to be careful how that is presented. If they get the sense that this is “all about how horrible Dad is”, that won’t be as credible as something like, “I’m concerned because the child gets carsick on extended drives”. There is a bit of art to the presentation. It may also be helpful to listen to our recent podcast on Best Interest of the Child. You can find it in iTunes or on our website, www.divorceuniversityonline.com

If you've been cleared by a doctor then you're considered in remission

Check into prenuptial agreements. Maybe and such a good idea these days!

By law she has to let you see the kids if court ordered to pay child support unless you were court ordered not to see the kids . Not to mention you can get child support stopped and it is actually a criminal offense to do that to the other parent...

@Tiara Williams, These strategies can help in most situations but contempt is more complicated. You would need to file in the Court where your orders are regarding Mom withholding the kids. If you have court-ordered parenting time, then she isn't allowed to withhold them. You can also take your orders (if they are specific enough) and ask the local police if they will help enforce them. Some will, some won't but it's worth a shot if you haven't seen your kids in 7 months.

@@divorceuniversityonline we ended up filing for contempt but the judge couldn’t find her at contempt because the parenting plan wasn’t specific but the judge did order her to release the kids to us immediately she lives in Oklahoma and the custody agreement was issued in Washington but shortly after we went to court for contempt me and my husband moved to Texas so a week after we arrived in Texas he drove to Oklahoma and got the cops involved to attempt to get his kids back and after showing the cops the orders the cops told him they can’t force her to give the kids back even with the order because they don’t know who has jurisdiction and Oklahoma is a mother state so as expected she refuse to give them back so now it’s been like 2 weeks and now we have to file for petition to register the decree and parenting plan as a foreign judgement under Oklahoma law then have to file for a habeas corpus proceeding but the problem is we been doing this whole situation without a lawyer and luckily everything been falling in our favorite but we are having a problem with her following the custody agreement and she’s not doing anything to fight us back in court which is why everything been a better out come on our end but she’s basically running with the kids and getting lucky with not getting in serious trouble but it’s just a matter of time me and my husband just have to keep doing our part and everything should work out

@@adudedisguisedasadudeplayi8491 she’s actually the one who’s on child support but we haven’t try to enforced it cause she has the kids but refusing to give them back but my husband is in the military and she call his job and his sergeant bully and threaten him into giving her money even though he’s suppose to have the kids and there’s a court order and she’s not obeying it and it’s making it hard to enforce the order cause she’s out of state and keeps going back and forth to Georgia and Oklahoma but we just moved to Texas and the order is out of Washington it’s just a bunch of crap so right now we are just chasing her around trying to get the other state to enforce the agreement

Mom's a bitch for contributing to the downfall of society.....if other parent stable

No shit