This was great ! :)

Awesome stuff, I am here because as a white belt I never really learnt if there are things that you shouldn't do with women. I also try to go their pace, works fine for me. Are there techniques that you shouldn't do, for example use your head to put weight on the chest to advance a position? Or maybe others that are related to breasts in general? I know putting your full weight on them sucks but that's also the case for someone 20 kg lighter than me, is there something more painfull for women?

How can a Father advise their 13 year old daughter before joining BJJ? She started Kick Boxing at JKD, and as uncomfortable as I am, I will also like her to learn BJJ for defense.

@@Figs4Life I recommend you get your daughter into wrestling first. Wrestling will help your daughter get introduced to a grappling background and it will teach you some things that Jiu-jitsu can't, such as takedown and throws. Take it from someone who is 20 and started wrestling in HS. You daughter will have her whole life to learn BJJ as it is growing to be more popular(assuming you live in the US) but learning a high contact sport like wrestling or any sort of striking has its limits. Start her with wrestling and when she transitions to BJJ, it'll be an an easier transition.

@@JayGaddam-mf1vc bjj schools teach takedowns and throws but i agree that wrestling is a good thing to start with because you can get it for free at most public schools

Yes! Rolling with upper belts is definitely helpful and safer. But, when you get more comfortable with your skill set, it is fun to beat up the new guys lol, or at least tire them out :)

In my mind i remove the male female aspect and assess them as a training partner regardless. I doubt id ever come across as a bully or overkill with my strength and size by using it to my advantage against a female that happens to be smaller than me and a white belt. (Im also white belt male 6’ around 215-220 so bigger guy i guess but definitely not that big especially my gym im a middle size guy in comparison maybe middle plus ish) anyway i assess training partners and if they are way higher rank and more skilled and experienced then my goal is to survive really and if i can submit sure but that doesnt happen much with purple belt and above especially and obviously. My fear, rather, is that they feel like im assaulting their honor so to speak or “taking it easy” or something and thinking it’s because they are female. Which isnt the case i mean well i do but as a white belt it would be pretentious of me to think i could “coach” anyone. But in my assessment of my training partners if they are white belts like me rather than spam my size and strength id rather take that opportunity to work on our skills together and sometimes let them spend time on top so i can work from the bottom because i need help there and if im against a larger male purple belt im screwed i cant do much but in those instances i can work on the technique and actually pull it off to escape or whatever. Its a large grey area and like im trying to express i dont want the female training partners of mine to think im going too easy on them and perhaps doing so is a disservice to them because in a real match or real fight no one will go easy and it may be better for them to get more of the real experience i just dont think it should come from me. If that makes sense im trying to learn too i just dont want to offend my female partners in the sense of me “taking it easy” i try to push them in a healthy way the best i can and win solely using skills and techniques ive learned in class not with my strength and size. But honestly i dont go for submissions a whole lot even if i can id rather work on the technique like i said i fear im coming across taking it easy. Also it’s embarrassing that im always so damIn my mind i remove the male female aspect and assess them as a training partner regardless. I doubt id ever come across as a bully or overkill with my strength and size by using it to my advantage against a female that happens to be smaller than me and a white belt. (Im also white belt male 6’ around 215-220 so bigger guy i guess but definitely not that big especially my gym im a middle size guy in comparison) anyway i assess training partners and if they are way higher rank and more skilled and experienced then my goal is to survive really and if i can submit sure but that doesnt happen much with purple belt and above especially and obviously. My fear, rather, is that they feel like im assaulting their honor so to speak or “taking it easy” or something and thinking it’s because they are female. Which isnt the case i mean well i do but as a white belt it would be pretentious of me to think i could “coach” anyone. But in my assessment of my training partners if they are white belts like me rather than spam my size and strength id rather take that opportunity to work on our skills together and sometimes let them spend time on top so i can work from the bottom because i need help there and if im against a larger male purple belt im screwed i cant do much but in those instances i can work on the technique and actually pull it off to escape or whatever. Its a large grey area and like im trying to express i dont want the female training partners of mine to think im going too easy on them and perhaps doing so is a disservice to them because in a real match or real fight no one will go easy and it may be better for them to get more of the real experience i just dont think it should come from me. If that makes sense im trying to learn too i just dont want to offend my female partners in the sense of me “taking it easy” i try to push them in a healthy way the best i can and win solely using skills and techniques ive learned in class not with my strength and size. But i also dont always go for submissions every time either instead i try to work on technique

Not that this is the same situation but one time I had a female sit on my face and I tapped almost immediately 😆. She was like "What did I do? Did I hurt you?" I was like, all casually, "Oh, you know, I just felt like I couldn't get out of that one." Really, though, get your vagina off my face!😂

For competition yes but for self defense I would say no. If you wanna learn how to roll with a man you gotta get used to the male agression. You need to learn what works because I will be honest I wreastle and have rolled with ju jitsu martial artists. I am a big guy and that can pick up most men with ease but would probably get my ass beat by a black belt because he can use my size and strength against me. Maby try the smaller guys first then try average sized when you get better try to stay away from the big guys because they could accidentally hurt you. I know this from experience we had a cocky girl in middle school that wanted to wreastle me and other big boys. One of my freinds accidentally sent her to the hospital and he was smaller than me. She is now a junior Olympic champion and can take on most average sized men because she is that skilled. Getting beat up does help believe it or not but it will make you better. Use your legs and use their momentum against them I tell you women hips are annoying to deal with as a guy use them to get into position for submissions. Also watch out for the strength of men you will not over power one with your strength. As my coach would say they are stronger think smarter.

But honestly...it's the same thing with men. I mean...male rolling partners also use their weight to their advantage against other guys. I am about 210-215 and my brown belt coach even gave me the advice to use my weight as kind of a weapon. He said that my weight is an advantage over lighter guys so I should use it. Besides that I prefer to roll with higher belts as well because I feel much safer since higher belts are way more in control of their body and their movement plus they don't have anything to prove. They are very aware of the fact that they could end this entire thing any time they want to so they let you work a little bit, give you certain positions. They might even let their arm sticking out on purpose just to see if you are executing an armbar the right way. Whereas when I roll with other white belts I feel like they are going all in and with almost 44 years of age and a history of knee and shoulder injuries I am afraid of getting hurt by them.

Yes it is, that’s a perfect way of putting it! Thank you for your input and for watching! :)

Depends on what you are learning for.

Thanks so much! LOLLL that's the best comparison I've ever heard.

Yes I agree, those are the perfect scenarios to make a comment! Thanks so much for watching :)

Awesome thanks so much!

I'm so glad it was! :)

Well said

I couldn't have said it better myself! The same applies to other martial arts as well. I do Aikido, and this is a huge part of training---treating your partner with respect.

If u can’t stopped from getting smooshed then how are u gonna defend urself

@@attackscorpion5323 how am I gonna learn to defend myself if all I do is get smooshed?

@@ashleyacker9430 You will learn

You sound like an excellent training partner, because you are concerned for the safety and dignity of your fellow student, and you are allowing them to learn skills they will need for a larger opponent. I commend you for your training attitude!

lol!

Or you could ask for a specific roll or position without being snarky.

OMG I love Brad!!

Lollll nothing wrong with being a work in progress :D

I have the same problem and im a female, lol.

Why thank you!

Yes! lol. The awareness always helps one way or another :)

That’s fine, but if you spend the whole time in side guard or mount without doing anything, it’s unpleasant for the other person.

@@katethegreat4918 Yeah I usually attempt an attack, compromising the position. The truth is, if you don't contend with something that's happening to you in jiu jitsu it's often unpleasant.

Nah when u get better those smaller guys will get smashed by you, size is everything is grappling

@@attackscorpion5323 Exactly, there a reason why there are weight classes or gender classes for that matter.

It's definitely a balance! It'll come with time :)

Haha i love this comment, this is all great stuff!!

Perfect way of thinking!

:D

There ya go! That's a great mindset.

One of the worst things to do during sparring session is pairing a brand new white belt with another white belt with no or little experience. It's the first step to injurying himself. At my gym beginners at their first experience always roll with experienced higher belts. Never with another beginner.

That's kind of the point of training with resistance. Not getting tapped intentionally. It's very fortunate that new people haven't been absorbed into your particular sparring culture and that you experience actual resistance once in a while. Keeps the art honest.

It doesn't matter to me personally, but it might be different for someone else. My coach teaches a lot of positions where you grab the top of the pants, so for me it's normal. I guess the best piece of advice I can give you, is if you go for grips like that, make sure it's with a purpose :)

I would try to get my hands on her asap! But I completely understand being so new and it's very intimidating. I would sort of assess her demeanor. Is she super friendly and do you see here rolling with all belt levels? At the end of the day, it doesn't hurt to just ask :)

@@kimberlykinch yeah she’s super friendly and has great energy so I’ll just ask her straight up I guess. Thanks very much for the reply. Osss 🙏

Perfectly stated :)

The problem is that 1) get on top 2) smesh is all the jiu jitsu I know.

Lol I get just as sweaty. 🙋🏼‍♀️ especially in no gi, my gym turns into a slip n slide. But yeah, it’s all gross.

Makes you remember head position to not be submitted by smothering.

I mean, I guess do whatever makes you get through the roll lol 🤷🏼‍♀️ I personally don’t like when any one curses during a roll, I just don’t think it’s necessary. But that’s just my opinion 😬

and this does changed depending whom I'm rolling with.

Brad seems like a popular guy!

Sounds pretty perfect !

Sexual discomfort should not happen. End of. would you feel sexual discomfort when rolling with a dude? no. The idea that you would experience sexual discomfort when rolling with a woman suggests that you cant see past the body parts she has, to the strong jiu jitsu practitioner she really is. If you're feeling sexual discomfort, she will know, so sort it out before you start rolling with women. When this has happened to me, it has made me feel entirely disrespected personally, as a training partner, and as a woman. My reason for being on those mats is to learn to defend myself in a safe environment against people who see my body as a sexual object. If the men I train with see my body in the same way, then they have invaded my safe space. I will not roll with you, and I'll probably warn the other girls not to as well.

@@larajones1681 Disconfort can absolutely HAPPEN to everyone. Everybody can feel unconfortable for any reason. Also for sexual discomfort. When I was a new brand beginner once I had to stop rolling with a girl who I found very attractive, because I had a boner and I felt very embarrassed, even though she didn't even noticed it. Since then I never trained with a woman again so as not to face the same situation any more. We are not made all in the same way, you are not me and I'm not you. And BJJ is not like playing tennis. It's high contact sport. With a guy this never happened simply because I'm straight and then I don't feel any kind of a sexual impulse towards a man. So you can't compare two totally different situations. There were cases where also women felt very uncomfortable to play with a man. Each to their own.

@@larajones1681 he (I’m assuming he) asked an honest question and you’re attacking him

@@larajones1681 There is absolutely no way you can know whether someone is feeling "sexual discomfort". Personally, the moment I slap and bump my brain goes from smash mode to smesh mode. But if you somehow stay horny through a roll, that's not something you should be blamed for.

@EldocSabote If you are speaking of the sexual discomfort from a male point of view, maybe speak with a male older than you as to how they deal with this situation when working with a female partner. As a woman, I can say that you are on the right path to becoming a respectful person towards women. I had a training partner (in a martial art unlike this one) who was autistic and he couldn't help his natural reaction to training with me, but recognized he would be unable to train with me without it happening. So we did not train together. And it was fine. I took no offense because he was respectful to me. But as a guy you are definitely capable of controlling your thoughts and your body. And martial arts forces you to be in survival mode for the most part; I'd think someone trying to attack you would trigger your fight or flight feelings the most. If you are speaking of female sexual discomfort, as in not feeling safe rolling with a male, you can simply ask your female training partner if she's uncomfortable with certain positions (some women might have been assaulted before and feel scared to train with a man). As a woman, we do want to feel safe with our training partners and have trust, and we do need certain positions to help us figure out what to do if we are attacked in those positions. If the woman is fine with certain positions, by all means train with respect. You are helping her learn to defend herself, and you are helping yourself figure out how to control your reaction on the mat. In any physical sport, mutual respect is the utmost important skill you can have. I hope this helps give some insight to the woman's point of view on this matter.

Fellow Christian here, hi :) And I have! A man who is Jewish and a few Muslim men have kindly refused to roll, and also shake hands at the end of class. I don't find it offensive - it is nice though when they let me know why they won't shake my hand or roll. I would just let them know that because of religious reasons, you choose to only roll with men.

@@kimberlykinch Thank you!

Jakob wrestled with God in the bible, so same sex wrestling at least should be ok.

@@kimberlykinch I KINDLY refuse to be made impure by your spiritually corrupting presence.

Agreed.

Women don't have "better legs". I'm not even sure what that's supposed to mean.

@@MrCmon113 from what I have seen woman seem more equipped at using their legs than men and they do seem more flexible

Yes you can. Professor abby can defeat me easily. Strength does help. But Jiu-Jitsu is about techniques and leverage. Abby is a black belt. I just a white belt.

Depends on how much stronger. If you're 80kg and the guy is 140kg mostly muscle, then no. If you're 80kg and he's 90kg, then yes.

​​@@joseichoshow9846 In your case it's possible because of the ENORMOUS gap between you (black Vs white belt). But size, weight and strenght are decisely a great factor when the gap of skill is not so huge.

okay :D

:)

Aw I know it can be uncomfortable sometimes, but keep showing up! Some of my favorite training partners are guys. I'd recommend rolling with as many upper belts as you can because they will be the safest!

I guess 🤷🏼‍♀️

Love that

@@kimberlykinchyou wouldn’t believe it but I just got injured by someone doing exactly that

You have a million statements in this one comment, so this is confusing. But.. when in this video did I say it was okay for a female to sit there and dominate a man (I'm assuming you mean by just sitting in side control, mount, etc.) ? Man or woman, no matter what weight you are, I think if someone you're rolling with is brand new, I don't think it's constructive ever really to just sit on top of someone for a long period of time.

@@kimberlykinch I get that men need to think about how much they roll with women, but someone dominating their partner could be discouraging. And let me ask you a question, men need to do more to help rolling to be affective and beneficial, do you think there is anything females can do especially those with more experience and higher belts. I am just starting and it would be frustrating to be dominated

Thank you for writing bach

@@stevefrazier3381 this video was talking about a particular circumstance that someone asked about, so that’s why I’m only talking about how men should roll with women. Obviously both men and women should work on being good training partners for one another. If you’re just beginning, try to get some rolls in with upper belts. They’ll give you good rolls based on skill. But remember, it’s jiu jitsu, so you’re gonna get your butt kicked no matter what.

Agreed :D

🤣🤣🤣

@@kimberlykinch my last roll was with Vennesa English I outweigh her by 7 or 8 stone and I must have tapped the same numbers at least 😅

This. Nothing disappoints me more than when the new guy gets beat by me and never comes back. I almost always go easy on the new guy. Like I'll slide into mount and not go for a sub. I'll just sit there and let them figure out how to escape or I'll teach them how to escape. But sometimes I think the guy doesn't come back because he still "lost" to a female in his mind because he couldn't get me off of him, or I took him down with a sneaky takedown he never knew was even possible, or I got his back and got my hands into position for a RNC, but didn't actually choke, just let him feel that I was there and had it, and maybe that was too much for him. Makes me sad if they quit because of that. But if the new guy is trying to slaughter me, well then I don't go easy and don't feel bad if I win.

@@bethbennett2106 well said Beth

Your "ego" is why you train in the first place. And if you think you can do sth like leaving it at the door, you are fully captured by grandiose stories about your own humility, which are completely fictional.

​@@bethbennett2106 Tell me something Beth. How much experience did you have at that time when it happened and how big was the new guy or your weight? Because i have a hard time believing women "beating" full grown relatively strong men if they went 100 percent. I'm a beginner myself, exclusively train in nogi (don't like gi nor see any major point with it), even squared up against a woman in my second class rolling (still at my second class) with 3-4 years of experience and she trains there regularly, at the very least 3 times a week, i haven't been to class since last week due to schedule and life. Anyway, when i rolled with her (and she was quite weird, but that's another story), i never felt in any danger at all, even used 50 percent of my strength which is more than i intended against her due to being a beginner and not knowing how to move properly or any technique, even got her in kimura. I mean sure she tried an armbar from closed guard but i easily took my arm of her grip, she even tried arm triangle from half guard, still not enough pressure, she never got in major dominant positions like taking my back, having mount etc. Are you sure that guy quit because you beat him? Or maybe it's because he didn't like the sport nor it's awkward intimate close contact, especially with the opposing gender etc? I'm not trying to discredit women in the sport at all and their capabilities grappling, i'm just telling you from my own personal experience. Maybe i'm wrong? Even the experienced guys in that gym (everyone except my cousin who trained 10 years in nogi and is very big and strong) have to work to submit me, even those in my weight class (185 lbs) i even escaped some of the tight arm triangle and anaconda holds, therefore seeing a woman pulling it off very hard, let alone me with little bit of experience. There's no ego here, just reality check from my recollection.

I just don’t think it’s necessary when rolling, to each their own 🤷🏼‍♀️

Your telling the truth sir. It is overly picky.

@@kennethcarroll8532 thanks my lady

The number of 130lb women who are stronger than a 130lb man is a tiny percentage.

If you dislike women in jiu jitsu so much then why keep watching these videos? Kindly go away 💕

@@kimberlykinch Me suggesting another solution to the problems of gender differences in grappling does not mean I don’t like chicks grappling. A reasonable solution to women’s issues with grappling is to just not roll with women.

You are the guy we all hate

@@wmhs02dm i legit just lol’d.

@@wmhs02dm Right, some very high level grappling coaches don’t roll with women. Fairs who is GSP grappling coach doesn’t roll with women. A guy choosing not to roll with women isn’t a negative, it solves a lot of problems.