People will see in time. Good for you! ♥️

In my case, my children are sometimes put in the middle. I have been divorced over 30 years, and she has never changed for the better, but seemingly, she has gotten worse, and she still tells people that I am to blame for things I never did. All I want is to be left alone and have peace. But it is easy to let one's guard down and be pulled back into the insanity, when falsely accused.

The narc wife. Love it. Fits her perfectly. You brave man. I wish you and your beautiful children much continuing peace, love, health, wealth and happiness.

Anyone who believes she has 0% responsibility for the divorce has faulty thinking. Glad you got away.

@@ejnix7874 thank you for your support.

💯🙏🏽🙌

I love his dog. He’s part of the comfort I get from this site.

Yes, in that way, he is like a cat, which is great!

Veronica, I felt the same way when he said "your not the problem"

@@joannreith4135 💝🤗

You coined it accurately, Veronica: “Our upside down worlds” exactly what it continually feels like. It’s dizzying.

@@elcee7800 absolutely! After 14 years of upside down, I’m getting ready to leave him this week, God willing. Are you emotionally ready to leave yet? It doesn’t get better, it just gets worse. I’m old fashioned and believe in keeping the marriage together if possible, BUT ONLY I when it is safe and good for both people. I hope you find your freedom soon. Peace and prayers🤲🏼

You're not the problem is exactly what I needed to hear, too. My workplace is full of covert malignant narcs. They're everywhere.

Woof!

Gus provides Dr. Carter with stress reduction therapy. Gus is good at his work, so he needs lots of rest, between sessions, with Dr. C.

He has a great "master" in Dr. Carter!

Yes you will get through, the divorce is not easy, and then the healing… it took me years after a thirty year relationship and planning for a year. Don’t expect it to happen all at once when you get divorce, there is another growth and readjust period tonight I was out dancing the night away, with new friends and people who appreciate my ‘energy’… I’m finally living my life and ‘free to be me!” Good luck on your journey, you will get through it and be so glad and proud to be yourself again x

♥️

During the divorce process, it was shocking just how down-low cruel he could get, how relentless he was, and manipulative. It left our son in a state of clinical depression. Hang in there. Today, my son said something about his dad. I replied, "I don't even follow what he does." Narcs have a mental illness...I'm all too happy to stay away from all twisted thoughts they may have.

@@donnawoodford6641 I WAS MARRIED ALMOST 21 YEARS AND I DIVORCED HIM…HE DROVE ME CRAZY & I STAYED DEPRESSED BECAUSE HE WAS/IS A MANIPULATIVE MALIGNANT NARCISSISTIC AND HE BRAINWASHED OUR ONLY SON AND TRIED TO TURN HIM AGAINST ME, MY SON RESENTED ME BECAUSE OF THE DIVORCE, HE THOUGHT I DESTROYED THE FAMILY, HE MOVED OUT WITH HIS DADDY AT 16 AND WAS GIVEN FREEDOM, THANK GOD I RAISED HIM WELL, SO HE SURVIVED THE FULL-FREEDOM HE WAS GIVEN 🙏 HIS DAD CONFUSED HIM AND MY HEART WAS BROKEN AS I WATCHED THIS EVIL NARCISSIST AFFECT OUR ONLY CHILD 😢 THE NARCISSISTIC-EX-HUSBAND WAS INSANELY-EVIL DURING THE WHOLE SEPARATION & DIVORCE ❗️ I SURVIVED ✔️♥️🙏 I STAYED SINGLE AND 20 YEARS LATER MY SON STILL TALKS & VISITS ME SOME AND HE LOVES ME, BUT HE HAS BEEN AFFECTED BY HIS MANIPULATIVE MALIGNANT NARCISSISTIC DAD…HE IS MORE NORMAL THAN HIS DAD, BUT NARCISSISTIC PEOPLE RARELY WAKE-UP 😭 MY SON WAS MY HEARTBEAT AND I RAISED HIM WITH A MOTHER’S LOVE, COMMUNICATION, DISCIPLINE, EDUCATION, COMMON SENSE, SELF-ESTEEM, ETC…HE HAS TWO CHILDREN NOW AND I SEE HIM RAISING THEM MUCH LIKE I RAISED HIM 👍 NARCISSISTIC SPOUSES DESTROY THE LOVE AND FAMILY DYNAMICS 😑😑 I NEVER WANTED TO MARRY AGAIN, I LOVE LIVING ALONE, THE PEACE OF MIND I HAVE IS WONDERFUL 👍♥️🙏

Im so awake, alert & done this time, ending up underestimating my covert mother. As Dr C says 'Knowledge is power'!

I'm right there with you.... Keep searching... I'm seeing light... Hope you do too very soon!

@ B A Matlock Thank you🙏🏽

Walk away.

get clarity . maybe with therapy? good luck ..

You can do it! It’s never too late ♥️

You are so right, well said!

Yes. I had success w biblical wisdom and integrity. And brother you will know your enemies.

Very true, and well said xxx thankyou xxx

I agree to a point. My Malignant Narcissistic Personality Disordered mom lies about me to this day. Turns out she's an excellent and persistent lier. Many in the family and family friends have believed her lies. This has left me no choice except to extricate myself from my relatives. While emotionally painful ~ my life has been so peaceful separating myself from all the pain, drama and lies.

@@Serena.Hope.Eternal same here too. Sending you big hugs

My thoughts exactly 💯 why I had to let it GO. 🥰 11/24/21

WOW ! YOUR Words Are MY Story !!! I made the decision only a few days ago and STILL IN SHOCK That I HAD TO DO IT !!!!! Apparently Im also Listening To The DEVIL And NOT HIS T R U T H .........

Yes.

Well done! It’s bloody hard, but it is worth it, because you will get your life back and discover your lost self, or even a better stronger self when you’ve got through the changes you need to make! Go girl x

Do it 👏

You are not ruined....you are stronger..!! Let that sink in..!!

Joanna, my hope is that you are continuing with all your progress! Wow, what positive energy to accomplish peace and the life you deserve!! Inspiring.

I can only wish he'd replace me,but he has no social life and barely leaves the house.until these informative videos,I hadn't a clue either. It's amazing how much better I feel following instructions from the experts, while I m still sharing the same space with "the narc"

You are quite welcome!

I have been no-contact since Easter of this year, from my narc dad and his flying monkey/enabling girlfriend. What a relief not to deal with jerks!

The competence is in you and me, I'm convinced.

Remember the kid at school you disliked? Exactly. Same will happen to them in time.

OMG. I hate to hear that!!! Sounds just like my ex and his mother. We were even married and JCD still had someone there with her (his mom). Refered to her as the roommate. Ugh. I'm so very sorry .... Hope you find peace and freedom!!!!

His Lyn, when it finally hit me that this is a mental illness it clicked for me. If I was to bump into someone with mental problems I would disengage as soon as I could. So for me I had been trapped for 23 yrs and beaten etc but now I don’t think about revenge I think oh that poor soul is really mentally ill. I don’t know but I stopped being fixated on him and that was 30 yrs ago. Them my second was also a narcissist I did not know about narcissist until just recently. The second one lasted 11 yrs when I finally said enough. I don’t know if I explained it well enough but I feel like trauma has been lifted. When I move I will get some council but right now I feel relieved. Remember when we are upset with them they don’t even know it God bless.

@Lynlisss sounds like a double whammy!!! Please keep coming back here to team healthy & contemplate the best site I've found, with Dr. C ! Believe me, I'm 66 & narccissists began with my mother. (looking back, I see it by things said, behaviors, etc) & most of my partner's. All, with varying degrees. Step back, keep observing & working on building your own self up, up, up!!! You cannot go wrong!!! Sending blessings & 🙏 that you will find the strength to turn your life around - towards healing & ❤️

Start looking for another job

He sounds like my father, who I am not in contact with since Easter of this year. He is toxic, I am not a dumping ground for his lousy attitude!(he projects his faults onto me, like your husband does to you). We deserve better!

agreed! I disengaged from someone several years ago, and then in about 2 years we reconnected and bam I am neck deep now. Worse than before since it was just a 'red flag' thing before. Disconnecting this time with more knowledge.

Go to a counsellor in the college and ask for accommodation

You deserve a better mother! College is hard enough without a narcissistic mother who abuses you!

Very smart

Might i suggest you one more thing friend read 6 pillars of self esteem. It will help you tremendously with this.

Well yeah but some of them aren't taking it lying down and will start a smear campaign and or keep recruiting flying monkeys and sending them around and turn people against you too. I assumed I could kindly but firmly extricate myself too, but that was me underestimating the covert narc. And this was just a casual social contact too! There are some real vindictive manipulators out there.

This is a great note.

Sounds like you have very good, detailed plans & 'red flag' warnings...+ notes, should you need to refer to them so little things won't get lost in the 'swirly tornados' they create as a smoke screen. I commend you, as you put alot of thought into it. Trusting your gut instinct is a good idea ~ gut doesn't feel guilt, as if might be "unfair" to the person. I tend to feel bad if any chance I may be too cautious, in not trusting that person. Which is crazy! If something doesn't seem right, feels 'off', it's probably a signal & I don't need to justify protecting myself. If they try & guilt me over it, that too, should be "red flag alert"! I really like your game plan & it's a great thing to have when people try to bamboozle ~ need something solid to fall back on during a narci's "chaos & control". People can appear selfish & not necessarily be a true narcissist - not the same thing - hate to judge someone & then find out they were just having a very 'off' day/night, or anxiety struck. I've had some times like that - panicked & came off as less than my kind, authentic & caring self. I'm a natural born empath, so narcis "can spot me a mile away!" Bad time/place to be empath! Your guidelines/plans on how to handle person/situation are really good... & not to get sucked-in by them! Can't help being an empath, nor hide it very well. I am who I am & it's all I can be, is just 'me'! I'd like to employ few of your things mentioned. Good tips!

Hi I am Wendy .. Dr C helped me also . He is a " Earth Angel " a Superb Man that has helped many and will continue to help many more

My narc dad thinks he looks like Jesus because he has a beard, Dad nitpicked at me, a tyrant. I have been no-contact with him since Easter of this year, what a relief!

You make sense.

I find Christianity to be the single most narcissistic of all God claims. The universe was designed by a god that demands love under the threat of punishment and all of it was created with you in mind? Your salvation is dependent on the vicarious redemption of your faults cast onto a sacrificial scapegoat in some bizarre bloodletting ritual? How narcissistic can a religion be, eh? Christian self importance on a supernatural level is hilarious.

I find a Christian Narcissist are the worst!

My adopted Mom was a very kind & loving Christian woman from Nebraska farm country, who gave me genuine love & acceptance for what was the 1st time in my life & turned out, the only time I ever had that amazing "Mother's Love"! She also had a good sense of humor, which came in handy with me around. She got me a T-shirt that read, "Dear Lord, please keep Your arm around my shoulders & Your hand across my mouth." Perfect shirt for me! LMBO! Wore that shirt for years, 'til I wore it out. Mom loved me!💖

Exactly! You deserve goodness and you need to do what you have to to achieve that x

I agree with your counselors. Self care is essential.

@@SurvivingNarcissism Thank you, Sir! #Salute to your channel. It has helped me so much!

If it works....

🌺So destructive. So painful. ❤🧡💛

@@siriastridkristensen4272 Second that ♥love and speedy healing♥

Stay strong, you can get through this.

You are very welcome, Shahadah.

That's what the narcissist does. They'll try to make you their slave and while doing it say "You're selfish! It's all about you isn't it?"

@@rwdchannel2901 Yeppers 24/7 and starting from the beginning, when the earth was still cooling. Thank you needed affirmation!

Right. He has an emotional toddler mindset in an adult body. This is a striking example of narcissistic person.

That guy was using classic projection.

I love that comment! Man the lifeboots! 😂❤

Boats! In livesaving boots!

Freedom!

Unfortunately there are quite a few of them over there in a ditch, but they call it a country lane.

Hi, Terri!

Thanks so much for this good feedback, Tina.

After 50 years of being together I am hoping to be civil during and after the divorce - keep it amicable if possible but I am quite prepared mentally know to understand that this might not be possible. Knowing my husband I feel we will be better as friends and not in a relationship - easier to walk away from their moods, manipulation and coercion.

@@susancrowther6617 How did the separation go? I am starting a separation now after 42 years. I hope you are well, happy and at peace

@@TheLynneSwift I am nearly at the Decree Final stage - separation would not have given me closure and my freedom both mentally and physically- Divorce was the only answer. We are all different in how we cope but after the final 2 years of this relationship which was a living hell in the last year I have come to terms with my life and what was anger, hatred and sadness has now turned into acceptance - all of these emotions were not good for my mental health and these emotions felt that he was still controlling me - still in my head and heart! We now both have our own homes and I am keeping things amicable between us - I will never ever forgive him but accept that what has happened is in the past and I move on with my life! Videos such as these have really helped of which I am very grateful.

You've reclaimed your power and worth!!

Haha

Hey! These days with Dr C. and us saying hello to eachother on the chat, they are so good days. Always feel better when been here. You're always so kind and wise to me, so let me just tell you, you have a lot of life to live. A good life. It can only be better. Thanks for beeing here and beeing you! See you soon! Love, Annie

That's a fair assumption!

Do you pray for yourself daily?

Depending on where you live, you may have garbage recycling in your area. Google it and see. Most don't charge for the service.

You are so welcome

Ok, Patty 👍 - glad your still around & listening though, peace within ☮️✌️

@@sallyjaynes2433 thank you. I am sure I will be making appearances here in the peanut gallery section! This is usually where I am the most comfy and of the most use. 😁🤗 my multitasking abilities are slowing down a bit - hard to listen and read lately. I am distracted. I have a narc in my complex now that is trying to cause every person here as much trouble as she can & I am on high alert whether I want to be or not. She tried to get the autistic girl next to her evicted because she has a fence. She got her arrested but not evicted. She has tried to get me evicted for my fence. She got the autistic young man above her evicted as of Friday. I wrote mgmt & told them what has really been transpiring & they made him move anyway. She's got some kind of thing going with the maint man. she's a covert malignant. I know how to handle assholes like her but I have to be on constant alert to the end of my lease. I dont have any money to move. My covert malignant mother made sure I have no disability diagnosis file to fall back on. When she stops working I am not sure how I will get the rent paid. And now I have this crapbag to deal with. I dont bother anybody around here - but I do live in the front apt where I see everything. I already told that woman to stay away from me so she tried to take my 8.5 yards of fence. jealous of 8.5 yards of fence. and since none of us are going to let the mgr bully us we dont expect to have our leases renewed. I already know I am moving in January. Already started saving for it. these new mgrs are pushing agenda 21 anyway and its time to move again. every 2 years. I'm just hangng on to whatever small bit of happiness I can find here until I'm gone. and that means spending time looking for places to live as well as trying to find some way to pay for a new fuel pump and tank. Its not completely failed yet, but its working on it. i know the signs as my jeep did the same thing. they are both chrysler products & I've been around, so I know what's what with most vehicles. I get tired of men asking me why I think a certain thing has failed or needs replacing if I TRY to pay someone else to do it so I dont have to hurt my hands. condescending pricks. The fuel pump should have already been replaced if the asshat would have just did it. So I have a lot on my mind right now & its hard to keep up with chat. LOL

@@skinnyway Evening my friend 🙏. You are such a compassioned human as a comfortable share with me of multi issues going on for you. Trust me, understand apartment complexes or condo/townhome plus family leaning/co-signing lease bearing - bless my mother (God rest her soul) was my friend. My Husband (Covert Narc) had a fuel pump ($$) go also. Complexes & living in them with neighbors right by your side or on top or below can be challenging. Is your job status ok or older now/health?, mine is in-between. Stay cool 😎 to your good self, peace for peace ☮️✌️. #teamhealthy #dr.c

@@sallyjaynes2433 thanks, Sally.

children do not know they are being abused. or the name for it when you figure it out.

Same for me had to cut off my Dad and may have to cut off my Mom too

I didn’t realize my dad was a narc until after he died and I was well into my forties. I knew he was mentally unstable and difficult, but didn’t know there was a name for it. To be fair, I understand how it happened for him and his brother. Their mother died when they were toddlers and their father abandoned them. Add into that mix that their father (my grandfather) also seems narcissistic, they didn’t have a chance. It wasn’t until I was free from him that I was able to really enjoy life for myself. I stopped concerning myself about what he would think before I made a decision.

@@aafm Thank you, your comment is so lovely I have tears. I appreciate that.

@@Chris-tg3qy Thank you for sharing, Chris

Been there sine that and I feel for you. Use the gray rock method to keep any communication to a minimum. Don't try to get anyone to side with you in their flying monkeysquad, you will get frustrated as they pretend they don't know. Get a good education as quickly as possible so you can get your own place and get out. Praying to God helped me alot. Good luck to you.