My companion of 15 years is a poster child for narcissism. Abandoned by mom at 2 years, to be raised by an alcoholic dad who was abusive and in jail repeatedly. He wears his pain and anger like a badge of honor. I am so thankful for this video, that doesn't jump to "run away, far and fast".

I swear i think some folks who act extremely against narcissism probably suffer from it themselves. Narcissist play victim too.

I’ve destroyed my life and the lives of others by being a narcissist. I didn’t even know i was one and pointed out how others were. I tear my partner down. They do the work they get strong. They leave. Tired of living like this. She left. I am alone again.

Virtually no narcissist (by definition) will ever qualify for the therapy in that case

You mentioned about emotional immaturity, is indicative of childhood traumas, we are stuck at the age of the trauma incident.. hence my point is healing childhood trauma could be one of the steps to help narcissist. Also, our attitudes towards them also impacts on their healing, deep down the narcissist feels they don’t deserve to be loved, and self loathing can be one of the underlying core fears or pain… if we use Compassion to understand where they are coming from, can we help them heal?

Thank you so much. It is very hard being in a family culture that doesn't discuss anything that might mean someone has to change their behavior. I have been watching this in my family for 70 years. Thank the Lord I have learned a lot about dealing with it.

I appreciate you!! We need more and more of this exposing this type of abuse and more success with treatment. Because the biggest thought is to always run from these people!

I think the breakdown of the American family is a highly responsible contributing factor for narcissism epidemic! Children & families are so divorced from a close network of people to create a complex , complete personality!

Just now after seeing ur video I tried to talk to my husband... His reaction was horrible. I didn't think I will be able to deal with his problem. Or treat it with a doctor. Never he agrees he has been abusive

Narcissison has been rampant these days. YES! Now, can we heal all these issues😢🤔👏 Definitely more INFO. On, these topics😊

Thank you

Breathe DEEP Breathe SLOW (through the nose) Experience the emotions and let them go. Emotional intelligence is connected with breathing and these are the tools the NPD are lacking. It is not that they are completely lacking in empathy as much as they are cut off from it and replaced it with apathy. Deep Breathing not only allows for them to reconnect but gives them the tools to cope at the same time.

Feedback and Criticism are two different ends of the spectrum Flying Free

What about those patients that learn from treatment to wear the mask better ? Is there any stage of treatment that targets or helps prevent or resolve this ?

The person will not go through assessment they don’t take ownership and they don’t accept there is something wrong they are right always

If it wouldn’t be treatable people like Kernberg could throw years of research away. And it’s a difference between narcissistic personality style and the full blown disorder. And today we see that science finds out that narcissists have a close connection to CPTSD… which makes total sense to me. And yes, we all have sometimes those traits. I would like to differentiate. I would leave a N. person, if the person refuses to see a Therapist.

I completed the assessment from what I believe would be my wife's perspective, and it says that I have "many traits of a narcissist or emotional abuser." No wonder she didn't come back. It's incredibly painful knowing that I've lost her. There's nothing I can do to change this. She's closed the door.

My covert narc brother learned everything of emotions form his ex wife,underwent treatment for some time,divorced her and remarried with more manipulative skills he learnt.i can see the monster but New people around him cannot.

I hope you include BPD in the narcissism testing. My mother, an extreme BPD, and she plays victim after she was the perpetrator. We can't get her th help she deeply needs.

I looked all over your website for the assessment you mentioned and cannot find. Can you provide a direct link?

I will keep fighting to heal my fiance no matter what , i will fight forever

How about healing root causes of childhood traumas, on a subconscious level through hypnosis?

How can I directly contact. Dr. Hawkins? My soul yearns to hear from him personally.

It is a Choice

We're all sick some more than others. The only healing we all need is a good uplift from others, it helps build character. Talking is important but also the way you talk aswell. Firm & calm sounding. Know who & what kind of behavior the person your talking too has. As it is another golden key to helping build & grow great conversations. If someone's naturally a dxck. Just kick em in the ballz

I believe my (now ex) husband is a covert abuser. I felt crazy for 21 years. I tried to talk him into going to the MRC to restore but he will not. I still pray everyday we could restore our marriage but he isn’t willing. 😢

What if she is afraid to even suggest that he MIGHT have narcissistic tendencies? Afraid if emotional outburst? How can this topic be gently approached with an immature narcacistic bully?

Do you have any colleagues in the long island New York area that you can recommend?

I wish I could've learn this 11 yrs.😢

I feel like this is too hard. When i try to talk to my gf about how i feel it feels like im just talking to her ego or her emotions. Im not having a conversation with a person.

I think I could be a narcissistic or maybe insecure. I do not want to get into any serious Committeed relationship without reflecting upon myself first. I see that i do have a sense of entitlement. I'm from a certain traditional religious society. In our traditional society, marriage is about rights and obligations. That kinda gave me a sense of entitlement along with responsibility. But from my experience, i noticed if i imagine that my right has been violated or honor has been tarnished, i feel triggered. But i noticed that people are not perfect, i have to kinda accept that. I noticed that for me the only main thing that bothers me is when someone would decieve me in a committed relationship.. It's a pain that i felt when i learnt at childhood about my mom Cheating on my father many times. My father Doesn't know or maybe he tries not to know. That gave me a trauma and i grew up with it that how a cheater can act and blend in without getting exposed. I hate my mother a lot as there are other issues between me and her as well. This makes me feel, How injustice is rampant. Thus, i catered to God, as i found religion talking about many good values and i being a religious myself want to have a partner who is also religious. I do have immaturity in term of my emotions. I read a book by david buss on evolutionary psychology. He talked about mate guarding being a natural instinct of a man. I have that instinct and i do see an over-protective nature in me. Although, some amount of protectiveness can be good and it varies among cultures. But i think that aspect in my psychology gives me ocd and bad thought about being a possible victim of a cheating which i mostly got from trauma. I think most of my maturity which i had potential to gain, got destroyed. I wanted to study about oceans and succeeded in my Admission to a Prominent University. But i Couldn't study there as my family intervened for some reasons for which i have bitter relationship with them. My depression, lack of social life which i once had, ocd anxiety based on insecurities, emotional immaturity, family issues, high expectations, entitlement all combinedly made me into something which i Don't even know who am I anymore? Narcissist? Insecure? Anxious? Nihilistic? Highly stressed? Anger issues? .. All of it being intertwined? I think emotional maturity and narcissism are intertwined. I do see an acknowledgment to myself, whenever i criticize someone, i say to myself "this is too much non-evident negative thought about someone. I should stop." But the negative critical thought creates a strong emotion which over powers that mature acknowledgment. I noticed that most of my negative thought or scenes that I experience, makes my mind question "would you have let it slide if it were to happen to you " and then starts my angry rant in my mind. I noticed that most likely people with high moral values and religiosity can have narcissistic tendencies. Not all but many do Have that. I Don't know whether my religionsity is also responsible or my over-judging tendencies are responsible. Or is my insecurity the main Reason.? Regardless, I'm trying my best to improve. I also think that Idealistic people can be narcissistic. That idealism by which people judge, would create this phenomenon of narcissism. I also noticed that too much judgement to others leads the narcissist(maybe me) fall in the same trap to self judgement. I think, I'm doing Erp method where i be in a situation and tolerate those emotional response. Maybe It would reduce the reaction. I think certain egotistical belief about self needs to change, humbling the self is needed. I think there is a balance between self-esteem and sheer ego which must distinctive. It needs to be trained.

If the narcissist is actually taking this assessment test they think pretty highly of themselves and the narcissist I know would not fill it out accurately. He doesn't think he's defensive or dismissive.

12 Steps?

Can this disorder be caused by a child being over indulged and over praised as a child?

🙏🏼

Where is your center?

Narcissistic or not, adults we dont change our personality unless there is some serious threat to our survival. Remember THE DAY THE EARTH STAND STILL? Our whole world is without love and compassion unless we start caring for others or anyone no matter the chances of being better individuals and species

My husband never makes any mistakes. He is always right, I have tried to talk to about things which is getting nowhere, I get hurt every time when I am expressing my feelings. Your methods does not work for me. I need help.

3/4 fear responses are listed here, in the video description. fawn is the 4th, and is certainly important - both for victims of abuse and covert narcissists, especially.

My husband won't even accept that he is emotionally abusive

How can a narcissist realize they genuinely need help? How does family know the patient is genuinely ready to move forward and regain control over the anger?

Everybody here is acting (including the doctor) that it is obvious who is the narcist and does wrong.. for me this perspective doesn't help and has some narcissistic tendencies by its own.. I rather prefer to see that we all have narcissistic parts and thst there are many gradients (50 shades of narcissism).. If you poont with your index on somebody else 3 fingers point on you.. I pointed a lot, so please forgive me, I am guilty in the sense of my own accusation.. 😅✌🏼💜

I want to heal

Once the narciist accepts That he is behaving abnormal and from.nexr he behaves as nothing Jada happened that means she will leave it without any thought of that..then.what we should infer

In all honesty what is said is great if we lived in a perfect world but in reality the narcissist is not going to ever take ownership so it’s best to leave them to destroy their own lives. Of course that will never happen because they didn’t take ownership for the trail of destruction they left behind whilst they were wiping their shoes on you before going onto their next victim.

but he won't go for treatment.........

I appreciate this too, but it's overly simplistic. Many commentators say narcissism can't even be treated, here we have "three simple steps" which lead to a vague statement about emotional immaturity... Okay, but not very helpful for the self-aware narcissist trying to learn, grow, and change. You (and a number of other doctors) post video after video after video about this, can't you post something more useful for those trying to heal themselves?

U have 2 truly want it?😮😮😮

DTMFA

Depression Free Naturally, by Joan Matthew’s Larson, Ph.D to treat & “eliminate anxiety, despair, fatigue, & anger” can help narcissists too 🕊❗️

I worry for some professionals who think they can “treat” NPD, and especially malignant narcissists. I hope they do not become victims someday.

He seems unhinged.

They can't be treated. They are sadistic and enjoy the upper hand position and hurting their partner and kids way too much. Leave. There is nothing else you can do.

Bunch of hurt women in the comments