Heyy Francky my bro, aren't you getting too serious in this video? Where's Heather Locklear and where are the F***ing EST* and ESF* to fool around ? . . . Ok ok , I'm gonna chill myself and get focus on your video to the full. Ok, let's run !

@ghostwarrior9 he makes videos earlier, but releases later. Also people who buy him coffee in Ko-Fi get early access.

You're so smart it's lush. I'm am nearer to extrovert but not really.

I love that email, thanks Frank!

Your podcast had made me miss these old style just chatting videos..and *Gasp!* you pull through and make a video just like the old school style. 😎 Like a boss. Good job and thanks, I hope you are enjoying this KZfaq journey and it is bringing you joy! Because it sure does for us!

trueee!!!

Yes! I agree completely

Agreed sis

Way better than those introvert video animations

Agreed!

Ummmm...

unless you have stage fright and freeze until someone else comes to your aid and gently escorts you off the stage until you can breathe again. (this was at a rehearsal and all the chairs for the audience were set up , but nobody was sitting there. Just the idea of that many people ... uh yeah. Too much for me)

Agreed. Because the rules are clear and predictable, unlike real life situations and interactions 😋

A certain kind of socially awkward, let’s say

Maybe I should join theater then...

Yes, this!

True! I'm shy and introvert/ambivert. Often I don't want to talk/socialize, but some times shyness stops me from speaking/socializing even though I want to.

Yes, I'm an introvert and am not shy. But I've been accused of being shy because I don't like parties, crowds, and can be quiet. FJ touched on the fact that quiet ppl are often negatively viewed.

I'm sorry that I don't understand. Shy isn't introverted....

@@jamesacolatse7447 there are an article on introvert spring explain that

Thanks, Myra!!

That's crazy. I just wanted to say the same, that I liked seeing Frank speaking about himself and found this comment. And I wondered who is this person who thinks like me, and it turns out... you're the lady whose videos I've seen before! And now it turns out you also watch the same youtuber as I do! The world is so small!

@@AnnaIsHere hahaha yes! I've found the KZfaq world is actually quite small!

@@FrankJames same here. Loved listening to you in this video. You really have a gift, really like your comedy stuff.

Same man. I love this channel . Its really helpful to understand yourself better. Also he is super funny.

This is so true!! Same with me!!

Yes! 1000 times yes. Could not have said it better.

100% agreed! I really needed to see this video.

Yes. My whole life I’ve had that, “I don’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member”.

Yup. I have been shocked when I realized that people actually want to be with me

Yeah I still think friends that I have had for years hate me 🤣

I remember having this reaction a lot in college. They're talking to me? They want to know me? What madness is this? It'd never happened before. It's eye-opening when you realize that you're not quite as unlikeable as you think you are.

@@katieglamer OMG, me too. Why is that? I hate feeling this way, but I can't seem to help it.

What's an alternative aesthetic?

@@princess_lookbook Fashion that isn’t mainstream: emo, punk, etc

@@zelighahn1125 firstly, thanks for responding. Secondly, the examples you gave, are they examples of the alternative aesthetics or examples of mainstream fashion?

You see those aesthetics on TikTok a lot, but few people dress like that in real life. It might be trendy, but it’s still unusual if you take a random sample of the population rlly. I agree that fashion is a form of self-expression for introverts especially. Maybe also to attract attention, since they naturally blend in

As a former homeschooler, I can say that while it would've been nice for you to not use all that energy on people, it comes with it's difficulties too since you still need to do specific subjects :( but I'm glad to hear you're doing good now!

I was home schooled and I loved it!

Exactly. All of this. ❤️

Omg...i had similar experience

I also had a bout with anxiety and... i had to learn to calm. Myself down. And focus what was in front of me

I relate a lot to this. In comfortable situations, I act pretty extroverted, but I burn out quickly in less comfortable groups and situations.

@@nazrarain1452 I’m the same way!

Aye aye

who said introverts weren't cool and attractive?

​@@dreamon8274we definitely are a cool bunch

Amen! Here's another 50 something who agrees!

Yes, as we get older we settle into ourselves. I used to think there was something wrong with me before I learned about MBTI, and more in psychology - I'm an intj, and happy to know that some of my characteristics are just due to that - makes it normal. I love to read intense books, they feed my mind and emotions.

@@kauffrau6764 That’s exactly why I love studying personality systems. They help me fit comfortably into my own skin when I’m so different from most people. It’s fun to be the big picture thinking woman when I know I have a place in the group

Ooh! That's GOOD! 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

Which type, eh?

At least lifting bales of hay you would actually be accomplishing something instead of wasting time. If you're going to expend energy, it's nice to have something to show for it.

I love lifting bales of hay! Some of the most fun I had growing up was building hay forts in our neighbor Farmer Brown’s barn. 😬

@@sunnysal3889 One year the corn maze place had hay bale maze instead. It was far superior because you couldn't really see through it.

@@recoveringsoul755 Where did you grow up that had hay bales? I’m from rural Kentucky originally.

That's why look up to introvert celebrities a lot. They are comfortable with themselves,they are introvert and true to themselves,but still confident. Like Keanu Reeves, Zayn Malik and Emma Watson.

Confident introverts are the most attractive.

Working on that. It's hard.

well said my friend...

@@AnaLu07 Kurt Cobain but with drugs and depression

INFJ and ADHD here. Fun flipping ride, indeed - no matter where I go or what I do, I always on some level feel like an alien lol. I’m learning to embrace it 👽🖖🏻 ND solidarity ✊🏻

@@savannahstoehr9198 haha same. Although I'm super social with whom I'm comfortable with and accept me. If not, I wanna hid somewhere 😂

Same

I'm INFP autistic and ADHD. Pretty tired of this ride.

Yes, shyness imo is describing a problem, whereas introverted is more of a statement of comfort, genuinely, where are you happiest? Most people want some friends etc, but everyone has a slightly different comfort zone, the point where the feel the party has peaked and after which they start to head off. Shyness is more of a negative, I would like to be friends with these people, but I don't feel confident.

@@TheSouthIsHot yes I hate people telling me that, telling someone not to be shy doesn’t help at all. I’d say that it’s a problem though if shyness stops someone from doing what they want.

@Joona Ahonen yes indeed. I've always known the difference between introversion and shyness since I am both but for a long time didn't see social anxiety for what it was-it is that which prevents you from doing things that you want or need to do. In light of that shyness is not a bad thing (as I have thought for so long) but S.A definitely is ! I'm glad to have finally established the difference since I think more often people speak of social anxiety and shyness as one and the same as opposed to introversion and shyness (from my experiences).

@@69raisinswhy I am a pretty shy introvert and ppl always making us belive that being introvert is "wrong" or "trying to make us extroverts". Yes it's true that we can be more sociable by improving ourselves and that's a choise not all introvrerts have to do this and they are doing nothing wrong. But i will always stay introvert. And they don' even try to give us time to improve. I'm trying to improve but none of them realize that i need time. Even making this comment is a big thing for me but they won't even realize those small changes. But I will always be shy and it kinda good for me.

Agree.

I had assumed that people were judging me all the time for a while so I kept my distance

I tell myself that most people don't even notice me. I myself have such a poor memory for people, especially faces, that it's easy for me to imagine that.

I got two commercials

Oh, and then I got MORe ads later in the video without any warning by FJ, and of course the ads at the end

Not getting ads anymore here either.

Extrovert with the opposite problem. I really admire introverts for their ability to be alone and happy like that. I've kind of shunned my extroversion for a while, admiring IQ over EQ for some stupid reason. Now I value them pretty equally and value a good balance of both. My Dad put it in a good way. "You have your mom's ambition but you're more of a free spirit like me." That comment really helped me see and accept myself.

Miriam, I am an introvert, INTJ. I was taught that it was wrong to be so introverted. My mom taught me how to fake extroversion to the point that most people don't believe me to be an introvert. I think some of that helped me to learn to be closer to a balance, but in the end I am an introvert. My best friend wanted us to move in together back in 2011. She thought it was a great idea. She had only ever seen me when I was being extroverted. She would be in the same room as me, which to me as an introvert was like spending time together, and both of us were doing our own thing. Not understanding why I was so quiet and why I wasn't engaging with her, she got to the point that she honestly thought something was wrong and I just didn't discuss it. BIG FIGHT. I still don't fully understand what the fight was about. I was a great roommate. I cooked, I did all the cleaning, I never complained, I was quiet and respectful. BUT I failed to meet her needs and was so into my own world that she felt there was a conflict. Eventually she decided to just forgive me. I moved out when the year was up. A few months ago, she actually moved out to be with me and now we share an apartment again, two women in their 40s. Having grown as a person in that time and learning to appreciate her own introspection, she, an ENFP, is a calmer and more accepting roommate. As for me, I pause what I am doing and focus on her when she tries to engage in a conversation. She has no idea how much it bothers me when she interrupts my private time, but she has needs that I am willing to attend to. I learned about love languages and took the time to learn about ENFP needs. We don't fight, we communicate clearly, and she knows to go to other people if she wants a long conversation that is about other people instead of important topics I feel passionately enough to engage about. We all have to grow, see the needs of others , and become more balanced.

@@MindfullyMindy yes, I know the misunderstandings that can come when people have only seen you behave in a certain way. I am glad to hear you were able to work things out.

why is it so me?? 😭😭

It's human nature to gravitate to easy and comfortable. And then the mind can be over imaginative... One thing that helped me was a counselor who said, "If you met yourself, what would you do or say?" I realize I was so judgmental about what I should and should not do - i never gave myself a break. People are not as hyper-critical as we are, and they do not see as much as we feel... You have my permission to inhale, exhale and just spend time on this planet. You don't have to Wow me with dialogue, or watch where you walk. Just live and let live. and you will find people who like spending time with you, who will laugh along with you not at you. Just inhale and exhale and LIVE and let your mind go to more important things like "World Peace" or "homelessness" instead of self analyzing all the things you could have or should or would have. When the thoughts turned inward and make you super self-conscious whisper out loud, "I'm human. that's good enough." and move on. Refuse to let the thoughts paralyze you or freeze you inside yourself. Instead, focus on the real now... what your hands are doing, what your heart is feeling... and take the next breath. that wonderful song, "Let it Go" is not some trite meme - it really is helpful. let the negative thoughts go... they aren't helping us anyway. HUGS>

@@dancenshout2002 Thank you so much! I really need this in my life. I will try to remember this the next time I want to put my head through a wall.

@UCiBM2xT8SOW8GBSPGPuhLSw Thank you! I feel like FJ fans are such amazing people!! P.S. Believe it or not I was not trying to throw a pity party, just expressing how I related with the video. I am very appreciative of the support, though!

About a year ago I was in the same position. I didn't have any friends at school, not even acquaintances. Than my sister encouraged me to actively try and make friends. On the first two tries, it didn't go well and I felt like no one would want to befriend me. After that I had a group project with two other people and I tried to have conversations with them outside of the ones strictly about our project. Fast forward to now, where I now know a lot more people and consider some of them to be friends. We have a groupchat with our class that I made and I don't just passively watch them talk but I actually engage in the conversation with them. We send science memes to each other and now even have a shared spotify playlist with science songs. TL;DR: I also didn't have friends, then I put myself out there more and now I do have friends :D Moral of the story, putting yourself out there is scary but totally worth it!

Apparently introverts can be better listeners

I think being intense and passionate is a very good thing! 👍 Just make sure to leave enough "space" and silence for the other person to react to what you are saying or doing. Give them a chance to show they like you by giving that space for them to blossom and be intense in return. Get curious about others and instead of trying to get them to like or accept you - get curious about them and ask lots of questions. Then when they answer and get onto a topic they are really enjoying you can jump in with that enthusiasm and then they'll be enjoying it. 😃 Hope that helps.

I agree because there are things that I still struggle to talk about with the people in my life that I can find the courage to talk about with strangers on the Internet.

@@loveme1641 Same.

Indeed!

'Naruto, help me' -Sakura, probably

You're right, I'm about to blow up my friend with a Chidori.

Did you really just Kakashi us under a video about Introversion?

Being called out by Kakashi is another level fo being called out lolol He actually had a transformation as an introvert like Frank, so that makes it even more valid...

@@nikolaiquack8548 lol😂. At first, I felt a bit weird tho. Then I thought I'll just comment and forget what happened. I didn't knew this many people would care

Same here!

Alex C good luck for 2021 … or whenever it becomes okay to do all those things.

@@tealrose3248 Thank you very much! I wish you the same; and hopefully 2021 is better for everyone.

Keep pursuing your goals! They will happen in time!

@@smk9320 It's tough, but so far I'm trying. Thank you for the supportive words, hope you have a lovely day kind stranger!

Frankly 😂

Agree 💕

Extremely

It's a bit unnerving, he gets better looking each video!

Duh,of course he's hot!!!!! He needs to get a part in a movie.

@@annettespizuoco2869 ikr his voice is so nice

I worked a few years as a barista, too, starting when I was 18. It’ll break you out of your shell for sure. I still don’t *like* small talk, but I’m far more confident in my ability to engage with it, and each small instance of it bears less significance, which makes it safer for me to fail sometimes. Plus, I’ve learned to laugh at my own mistakes. What else can you do??

@@savannahstoehr9198 I still get frustrated with my mistakes and I am still hard on myself. But, I don't cry unless something sad happens. I was in therapy a long time ago and every session I cried. It wasn't till after a year I seemed to have run out of tears. What about yourself?

@@tandokunogirl I 1000% get frustrated with myself, and have a bad habit of beating myself up for my mistakes. I’ve had more than one therapist tell me I’m way harder on myself than on anyone else in my life (other people are perfectly welcome to have emotions, it’s only a sin when it’s me 🙃). Ironically, I cry at a LOT of things, but almost never in therapy. I’ve been in therapy for a few years now and I think I’ve cried maybe four times total. It probably has to do with my reluctance to give space to my own emotions. When I do cry, more often than not it’s actually happy tears, and the vast majority of the time it’s in response to a movie or a book or a TV show. There’s just something about narrative that makes it safe to feel things, I guess. And there’s a certain catharsis in seeing my greatest wishes realized, even if it’s just on a screen. (People seeing and hearing each other, knowing each other fully, treating each other gently, accepting each other and all their jagged edges.... I may or may not be crying rn.)

i'm in the same boat. i've been sitting alone at my desk for months

@@-sbocciare2277 I am going back home for break, and ill send good vibes your way before i start feasting on my first home cooked meal. Also, check out Nothing But Thieves new album ‘Moral Panic’ if you want to indulge in some Gen Z angst. It is what is getting me through the hard days

@@Ally-yk8hs awesome, i am too, i'll send some good vibes your way!! and i'll listen to it rn! my go-to for angst/anger/depression is Dirt by Alice In Chains (or any of their albums really). it's definitely an acquired taste, but they're one of my favorite bands of all time😅

@@Ally-yk8hs i just listened to it, it was a really beautiful album that helped satisfy my angst craving. thanks for the recommendation!!

So glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way, it's been rough!

Thanks for sitting through that. 😉