The pain of regret is worse than the pain of discipline

Key to discipline: force yourself to do the bare minimum , but consistently. It's like magic, nobody knows what or how. But if you take a tiny first step consistently. the world is yours.

I always tell myself: 1. Stop trying to do things perfectly. 2. More doing, less thinking 3. Do it now. 4. You owe it to your future you. I'm not saying to be content doing half-assed things. It's just to getting the hang of doing things and then you can go make things better in time. It won't do you any good to be inside your head all the time.

I’m 57 and I’ve been struggling self discipline my entire life. Although I’m not a gamer I know people that are. Imagine you’re 57 and still having this conversation. I am victim to the pitfall of making discipline an all or nothing situation. Consistently inconsistent is a story of my life. In your 20s (30’s and even 40’s) it’s so easy to take life and time for granted. In a blink of an eye you’re 57 and have WASTED so much of your God given, precious TIME. It’s hard to believe but it happens pretty easily and you look back and you think what the fuck did I do that for??!!?? Out of laziness and ego- “that won’t happen to ME” syndrome. Hopefully this video will motivate me and I won’t let me stand in the way of what I really want. Six months ago I had brain surgery and now I’m going through radiation. I have other health issues as well, but I can honestly tell you this video and all the comments have motivated me. So if you want some really good advice, don’t be me. Find what you love to do that’s good for you and adds value to this life experience. Try everything, do something new every day find a passion that exhilarates you are giving back to society. Enjoy the beauty of nature and this amazing world around us. Get in the actual game, the game of life- enjoy your family and friends and this beautiful world around us. it’s meaningful and at the end of life you won’t have any regrets.. instead of taking time for granted, take advantage of what real living has to offer. The only get one chance so why not experience it to the fullest? ❤

It's a difficult pitfall especially if you're hard on yourself to begin with. My therapist says to forgive yourself often for not doing enough, and that x amount of days off the wagon doesn't mean you fell off the wagon, it means you're taking a break by walking behind it slightly :) helps me keep it together and not think I'm a total failure when I stumble on my progress.

The whole strict parents thing really adds to the retire at 22 trap because you spend the first almost two decades of your life with the only goal being to get the approval of your parents. Why do you do work? To not get your parents mad. Once you're an adult, you don't need to do that anymore. It feels like the credits have rolled, as your biggest roadblock is gone now. Finding a new goal becomes so much harder.

"listen to your heart, not the voice in your head." -Sol Badguy

Please never delete this video, I want to rewatch this when I lose myself again. This is a gem bro thank u

A few months ago my life completely changed thanks to a Dr K video similar to this. I sat out outside on a chair, no phone, no music. 2 days.. bored out of my mind; and reached the end of thought. After which I started conjuring all these genuine wants to start a family and hold responsibilities for them. Kick started me into super drive mode. I’ve never felt more disciplined than I do now. Only turned on my PC now for work or budgeting, lost 15kgs, and feel happier than I can ever remember. It’s become a common practice of mine now to be comfortable sitting in boredom and just thinking about what I truely want. Thanks Dr K

I had zero discipline till I turned 25. No joke it felt like a switch was flipped. I realised a lot of the things I wanted in life was just because people expected it from me. For years I struggled with weight loss but once i told my self I’m doing it for me, instead of getting a gf/approval of others. I’ve been smooth sailing baybee.

Him talking about the trap of your mind trying to force you to choose between all or nothing (start with the smallest thing segment) reminded me of a great, simple phrase that helped me a lot with getting started on the paths I wanted to go down. “Something ain’t nothing.” So simple, so obvious, but sometimes I needed to be reminded of that. Some progress isn’t no progress, and some progress is better than no progress. Hope it helps some others out there =)

I can't put into words how incredibly brilliant this man is. He has asolutely nailed every problem with modern mental health problems, he has cut out the crap and he is doing a justice to all those lonely, confused people out there. I thank you Dr K, you are one of a kind and I will pray for you so that you continue to recieve good fortune in your life. Thank you Dr K you are more help than you could ever possibly realise and the world is slowly becoming better with each video you post.

Oh hey I used that same trick for doing more exercise. My brain tells me 5 pushups, squats, and crunches each is useless, but doing just that every other day was easy to stay consistent with. I’m up to 10 each now!

This resonates with me because for 35 years I thought I simply had a discipline problem but it was ADHD really 💀

This guy is the real deal he doesn’t have clickbait or tells you right or wrong just genuinely breaks down everything and lets you decide. It’s remarkable man

I’m a psych major, watched so many mental health content online and books and this is some of the best most applicable guidance that addresses the reality of where people are at and explains the psychology behind it. Dr.K you help people understand themselves better and make real positive impact to people.

I don't know how Dr. K does it. This came literally at the perfect time. Just an hour ago I was journaling about how I want to change my life but I don't want it badly enough to change it yet. I'm content enough to stay where I'm at, yet not so helpless where I "need" to do anything. I'm not great, I'm not terrible, just "okay". I wish I wanted to "want" to change badly. And then this video comes out 20 minutes later? It must be sign.

The "retiring at the age of 22" thing is sooo true... I feel completely unmotivated to do anything more than bare bare minimum, I just gave up and only do the things that bring me precious serotonin. Play games, watch stuff, read stuff, only eat tasty foods, go for a walk when the weather is nice... It really feels like a retirement and I kinda feel like an old person too. However I do get that I really need to change. My lifestyle is very unhealthy with all that sitting and staring in a screen 24/7. My diet is pretty unhealthy too. I already feel very sick and sluggish all the time(one of the reasons I feel like a retiree haha). Also I'm very isolated and struggle to confidently say I have friends. Social medias just don't cut it. But every time I try to change I fall into all of this pitfalls. And I just end up hating myself for lacking motivation and discipline and return to the old ways every time. I'm scared that I will never get out of this mindset...

I cried. I know it’s a little out of place but this is the first time in a long time I actually felt like someone was talking to me like a genuine friend. Thank you for that. Doesn’t me it will change much about my life but I really appreciate the honesty. Thanks guy!

00:12 🎮 Many enjoy leisure activities like video games, KZfaq, and staying up late, but desire more responsibility and self-discipline. 01:25 💰 The challenge arises from questioning the purpose of discipline when current enjoyment seems sufficient. 02:22 🔄 The mind calculates the cost and benefit of actions, often favoring immediate gratification over long-term discipline. 03:47 💡 A competing interest, a strong personal motivation, is crucial for developing discipline. 06:34 📝 Identify what you truly want, not just what external influences suggest you should want. 09:51 🚀 Even if you're not ready for a major change, acknowledging the desire to want to change is a crucial first step. 11:14 💪 Start with a small step towards what you truly want, and don't underestimate its impact. 13:35 🔄 Be aware of the mind's tendency to push for an all-or-nothing approach to maintain the status quo. 17:48 🧭 Focus on finding what you genuinely want amidst societal expectations and external influences.

I'm 23 and I heard that the 20s is the peak age for the human body. Managed to trick myself into thinking that as FOMO so now I've been going to the gym for the past 5 months and eating a proper diet. Lost 10kg during that time and I'm at the fittest I've ever been. I'm at the point now that NOT going to the gym just feels bad and weird Update for the interested: Went from 80kg to 64kg at 5'7 since I started. I'm still going and am now on my first actual bulk. Planning on gaining 1kg a month for 6 months and then go on a cut. Other than taking a 2 month break due to a wrist injury, everything has been going great.

these videos are honestly timely as hell lmao just when i was thinking about discussing this with a coach

Gives a whole new dimension to Sarte's quote, "Hell is other people."It is interesting how often, when other people tell us what to do, it is solely for their benefit; they will try a myriad of ways to convince you that is for your own good, but, 9 times out of ten, it is because of their own agenda.

I check up on this video regularly just to solidify this in my mind. Do what you want. It’s ok to be slow but always move forward. If you want to do more, then do more but never do more than you’re willing to do. Consistency is key, complacency is both good and bad and always ask why do I want what I want. The goal is not the goal but what the goal means to you.

I really want a job, and I believe I could get a job, but I don't want to apply because I have had bad experiences with work in the past that left me feeling worthless. I want to stop my negative self talk and respect myself, but there's that bug in my mind telling me that I will fail and feel even more worthless. With this video + the video about control, I can now see that actually getting a job isn't the point. To be able to respect myself, all I need to do is the action of applying and putting myself out there. The outcome is not in my control so I shouldn't obsess about it. Making an effort IS in my control, so I can focus on the effort itself, and simply accept the outcome. My mind tells me that getting a basic job won't afford me a house and a loving community and a good life, so what's the point? But making the effort will help me respect myself and stop torturing myself with self-loathing, and that is valuable. I want to live up to my own idea of what a good person is, and that is the internal reason I have identified for making an effort to get a job.

two months ago, something clicked in my brain and i quit alcohol, weed, soda, snack, and cig all at one. started eating healthy, worked out everyday and lost about 35 lb. i did 3 knee push ups a day. now i can do 26. i still dont know why. i still dont know how. and frankly this video still doesnt explain my behavior. because i didnt think about the cost and benefit. i just did it. sometimes just dont think too much and just one push up a day can make a massive change as the time passes. fuck the plan. fuck the goal. you are the embodiment of your daily habit. dont look too far. just do one small different thing a day. let it carry you later.

I have a "all or nothing" mindset when it comes to self improvement, and I now believe that it may be the thing that has been preventing me from constantly trying to self improve. Thanks to this video, I now am going to try to take it more slow. Going to reply to myself in a week to tell myself how I'm doing to add some sort of pressure.

Thank you a lot for this video. I'm 23 years old and unemployed, without pursuing education or anything really. My life is just playing games and doing mostly what i want to. Should be great right? Well i have a rough time with depression so it surely doesn't feel like it... feels more like everyday is a overwhelming fight for life and a fight against thoughts about how i was supposed to be, how people wish for me to become, what i must do with the life given to me. Months ago i searched about how far one can go by only doing 1% of what you think is necessary, but being steady and doing everyday without a miss... and i never applied it. But this video gave me the spark. I asked myself what i truly wanted and the only thing in my mind was that i want to live a happy life, not the one i have right now. I want to wake up early and watch the sunrise, i want to be proud of myself instead of being ashamed... Thank you, i needed this.

Another day, another video by Dr. K addressing my problems.

Was crying to my friend the other day because they were trying to understand me and all i could really say was “i dont know” and they were getting frustrated. Felt like the convo was going nowhere. Glad this vid popped up because a lot of the conversation was “what do you want?” “Forget what other people say and think, what do YOU want”. I cried out of frustration and shame because i dont really Want anything but peace. The peace where ppl see you “doing nothing” and congratulate you instead of asking and pestering about bEING PrOdUctIVe. “I dont know” seems to be the best way to irritate those around me. They say i have potential and am wasting time. I ask them “whos time” and then the responses vary until it eventually circles back to me being so anxious i cry because im not “doing enough”.

It's funny that this amount of knowledge and almost free therepy is of no cost and i can listen to this guy from the another corner of the world.

I've been taking these small steps for a few months now, but this video could not have showed up at a better time for me. I feel that understanding that my brain is undermining ITSELF really gives me the edge to go that extra step each day. I love watching your videos in the morning to get that push of motivation and learn something new. I usually don't comment, but I felt the need to say Thank You.

8:10 Wow, this describes my life perfectly. I was a "gifted" kid, but not in the sense that I was intelligent, I just had controlling parents that made me study for hours every day from before I was even of school-going age. I excelled in elementary school as a result, but later when my mom decided to find a job and couldn't spend as much time tutoring me anymore, I slowly began to get lazy, and by the end of high school I was on the verge of failing half my classes. To this day, discipline is one of my biggest struggles, and I just don't know how to get myself to do things. Negative motivation works in the short term, but fails eventually, and positive motivation seems to have no effect as I hate myself too much to want to do anything good for myself. Taking small steps, even towards things I actually want to do and which weren't forced on me by others, hasn't worked for me in the past either, as I become unsatisfied once I have a "streak" of not doing it for several weeks in a row and my brain calculates that it's not worth it to pressure myself to try every day when it hasn't resulted in a positive outcome for weeks. I wish I could encourage myself gently somehow without bouncing between self-indulgence and whippings, but this balance has been rather elusive.

Personal notes 1. List down goals wanted the most 2. Cross 90% of the unimportance out of the list 3. Pick 1 thing out of the 10% 4. Make small feasible changes on that 1 particular goal everyday until it becomes a habit 5. Avoid the perfectionistic pitfalls that might ruin consistency 6. Ripple effect overtime, 1 small positive change will remind the brain to change other things Edit: I saw some comments about point #1 on 100 things and it's actually dependable, given personal contexts, it could be 5, 10 or 100. I gave it 100 because I would trim it down to 10 and eventually had only 1 out of 10. I wrote this comment initially for my own uses, so I would adjust point#1 for anyone who happens to come across

thanks for doing what you do. Before I started to watch your videos, feeling like my emotions and struggles were truly understood by someone else had never happened to me. I'm really glad that you exist, you're a really good guy

Dr K sir this video has changed my life, the part where you were asking the questions and giving the answers felt like you were reading my mind. I've been struggling with this for years and never really understood the pleasure-pain relationship in benefit of my life until now so thank you. I've managed to really engage with myself and figure out a list of what is i want from life and that has come from within me and that's beautiful. I appreciate the work that you are doing for humanity

Dude I know you want us to get off bad habits, but your videos are so addicting lmao

The answer of “I don’t know” to the question of “what do you want?” is something I still struggle with today at 30. And my life today is a demonstration of that “I am stuck going nowhere” because of it. People don’t believe me when I say I don’t know. I have a list of things that sound “nice to have”. But nothing is a want. And when I do sit down to say I want something, I will begin to question if that’s something I truly want. And I really can’t tell.

Oh my goodness I am incredibly indebted to this video!!! I have been trying to overcome an addiction for a few years now, I’ve done research attended meetings and made great progress but still definitely am stuck. Being ready for to challenge that “pitfall” is the crucial piece that I needed. Thank you so so much love your videos!

Wow, this is the best video I have seen about this. First time coming across the channel. Just watched the years of gaming and your brain video. What I love most about this is that you keep going and keep explaining. That’s my biggest issue with videos like this is they say what you need to do without fully saying how. You do and I love that. I’m actually able to conceptualize how to move towards what I want

I feel this issue when it comes to dating. It would be nice to find an intimate relationship but it would require so much hard work as well as having to figure out how to put myself out there, build up confidence, maybe even change my busy lifestyle... before I do that just want to be mentally stable and be able to cope with the life I have now. Although, the longer I put it off, the harder it will get.

The push up thing you mentioned absolutely works. I started by doing 2 sets of 10 push-ups every couple days. Eventually I started doing them more frequently and after a little while I saw some minimal results and just naturally wanted to do more. It took about 6 months to get to a real workout routine but it's better than jumping head first into something that makes you feel discouraged because you aren't great at it from the start.

😮 I just subscribed! I have watched a few other motivational/ discipline videos and learned that motivation is an emotion with bad timing that is never there when you need it, discipline is much more reliable and guaranteed, but there’s more to it than just flicking a light switch so understanding why and how helps to sort it out. I recently learned that procrastination is a coping mechanism and understanding that helped me to put myself into perspective.

So I watched you when you first come to KZfaq. And I just recently come across your content again and I’m genuinely super happy for that. I was in a super hard time then and now I’m actually struggling more than ever. It’s not just with change it with a lot of things. I cannot stop drinking and I cannot even convince myself it’s worth stopping. There’s more to it than that but I’m super happy I come across your content again today on my new ty account. Maybe it’ll bring me back to reality.

Being disciplined is like being sober, the distraction thought pattern will "flare up" but you must hold on until the distraction fades away

I try to become more disciplined. I'm a incredibly stubborn person and Im afraid of any change. I can't get out of my comfort zone so now Im stuck doing stuff that don't benefit me at all and just make me feel bad about myself for wasting my life. There's a part of me that says that I'm wasting my life but the other part of me is enjoying it. Its very overwhelming.

I worked hard early, established a career, married at 30 but we aren't doing the kid thing, so we have dual income. I made sure I had a career that can't come home with me. It's amazing. I go to work, enjoy what I do, come home, play games, repeat. I freaking love it! Before the pandemic I would run 3-4mi 2-3 days a week plus some weight training. I fell off on that with pandemic depression and that's the one change I want to make. Get back to having some physical activity in my life. Dr. K nailed it. Every time I think "I could go walk for 10 minutes" my brain shoots back "if you aren't running at least two miles, HALF your old distance, why bother at all?" But I can't physically run right now. I developed arthritis in my knees and running may never be a thing I can do without pain again. I know doing nothing is making it worse. But I feel like doing less than 100% is worthless (feel like is the key, logically I KNOW it's better to walk 10min than nothing). Why bother getting all sweaty and gross (Texas heat) for only 10-15min of actual activity, when I could just not? So I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. I do want to change those habits, I'm past the wanting to want to, but that last barrier, the why-bother barrier, is still in the way.

First of all I deeply appreciate your Content on a professional and personal level. As Head of Occupational Therapie in Neurology as well as struggling with ADHD myself. It took some time for me to start changing and develop in a “better way”, but some day I got obsessed with me current felt of work and its been that way ever since. I think I’m very lucky and privileged to be in this position, but I strongly believe there is a “obsession” like mine for each and everyone to be found and change will just happen when the “time” is right.

I keep feeling guilty over all the things I imagine myself doing but never actually do. Sometimes my current life feels satisfying and sometimes it is not. I am not entirely sure why but the gap between who I am, who I feel I should be is by far the most likely cause of my dissatisfaction. I could list off the things I think I want pretty easily, but doing so quickly feels overwhelming. Any change feels overwhelming. So it is worth emphasizing that the task needs to be divided up and taken one step at a time. Though that itself is easier said than done.

This is very helpful information that would typically be locked behind a $100 a month mental health paywall. Thank you so much gg I’ve spent the last 15 years(30 now) of my life being disciplined for other people. Floating through high school because I was supposed to, attempting college because I was supposed to. Floated all the way up to the pandemic where I lost my job, accrued $8,000 in credit card debit, started drinking 2 handles a week, and stopped exercising. I’ve been victimizing myself and blaming the pandemic for so long but now I realize I was never exercising or doing anything for myself anyways. For example I was even only exercising so I could attract a girl. Not just to be healthy. Even my own goals were for someone else. It took me hitting rock bottom to realize I actually do want to change. Because I’ve become so insecure, in debt, and depressed that I’ve lost all sense of purpose or drive all together. This video helped me clear the mental cobwebs about why that’s happened to me. Much love ❤

"The society is telling you what you should want." The most profound words the realisation of which is the need of the hour today. Thank you for the video! It is really simple, honest, and easy to follow. As other comments stated, you are doing a superb service to the society.

This is got to be the most helpful thing I’ve heard in so long. Period I love the way that you simplify things and make them actually achievable.

I personally feel like your videos are constantly posted in response to my personal life. I think the fact that so many other people have similar responses to your videos really speaks to the quality and relevance of the videos you make. Thank you

My therapist tells me to "avoid shoulding all over myself". What we feel we "should" be doing is influenced by a whole lot of external things. Mindfulness is very key in being able to drill down and figure out what you want to be doing, rather than what you feel you should be doing.

You, sir, are brilliant! I am 55 years old and I’ve been working on self-improvement for 30 years and you make it all make sense! Thank you so so much! I appreciate you and the world needs you! Thank you!

What a great video. My whole life, I have found myself flipping between a motivated and degenerate state. Earlier this year I wrote down all the activities that make the best version of myself (daily exercise, creating content for my website/yt, saving/investing) and all my worst (solo q gaming, binging average TV shows, ordering delivery food). Not gonna act like I've got it all figured out, but it's a good exercise to be aware of what state you're in.

I love you you made me understand how my brain really works and for first time in my life I’m starting to see progress❤️💕

My trick to this "all or nothing" approach to solving problem was to see it as a little is better than nothing. In sports for instance, I know I should be exercizing 3 or 4 times per week, but I can never go through it, there is always something in the way, some other responsability that makes me miss my scheduled training. And one you broke the chain, it's easy to slip to the "You failed, so you might as well forget it" conclusion. But knowing that a little activity is still better than no activity at all, I try to stick to a chain that is realistic with my life rythm. Nike said it : Just do it. On every tuesday night : just do it! just do the minimum but go and don't overthink it. First thing you realize is that you are now training once a week. It's not perfect, it won't make you build muscle or lose weight in a month, but in the long run, you notice that you have a little more endurance, that you can do activities that were too hard last year. Be proud, you went from a couch potato to someone who trains once a week. Even if it's just 5 minutes today, because you don't have time or you are too tired, you stick to this "just do it on tuesday night" schedule. Don't break the chain! after a while you will be proud to say that you've been doing it. You could do more, and you should but until you are ready, at least, you have this.

I’m 22 and you just verbalized everything I’ve been worrying about for the past 2 years. Now I get why I always seem to fall back to default state after trying to change something thank you for explaining that!

I’m 22 and before 2024 my gf of 4 years broke up with me because I was lazy and doing nothing with my life and not bettering myself for us to have a future and I did try but my brain would tell me that it’s not enough. She’s still supports me when I do try to improve myself but watching this video gave me a spark that was long gone. I finally got my permit on January of this year and my main goal as of rn is getting my license to drive and be able to enjoy my life and hangout with friends. To anyone who reads this, you are enough and I’m so proud of whatever little step of improvement you make/made and I know you can do it and I fully support you!!!

We appreciate your effort and hard work on this channel. God bless you.

Such impeccable timing... the thing about having no better idea for what you'll do after retirement than what you do *right now* to goof off hits hard. Yet my brain practically refuses to give me a better answer- any answer to "what would I do to relax and have fun" that will take until retirement age to be possible seems not worth considering with the horrifying thirty-plus year wait.

Just found your channel, this is the second video I've watched, the first one being the one you made recently on discipline and now this one. Just wanted to say, thank you brother, this information and the way you are teaching it is really helping already. I'm not a gamer, but was lost in habitual addiction cycles with weed since I was 13 years old. Have recently overcome those cycles and am now endeavouring to discover and cultivate my focus and self-discipline. I feel very grateful for you 🙏 Much love and abundance of all things that bring great positivity to your life ✨️ 💙

I really appreciate what you're doing here, man. Lots of love and respect to you bro

6:50 This is interesting, because I was a bit of a goody-goody as a kid, and did everything in my power to avoid getting into trouble, which meant doing homework on time and getting good grades. I was considered to have a good work ethic when I was younger, but now that I'm an adult and don't have to answer to anyone much anymore, my discipline has gone out the window. I don't do many personal projects anymore, and the one time I can focus is at work, where I am once again getting external motivation in the form of tasks from my boss.

I have grown up in a very cushy lifestyle my entire life, and I always wanted something different, but could never piece together what it was, even after my lack of motivation, unmanaged stress, and lack of discipline lead me to flunking out of my first year of high school. It's only now that I'm 21 that I want to genuinely get my life together because I can articulate and envision what that thing was and how to get it. I still have issues with my health, but I'm taking better care of myself, because I've had two major shifts in my motivation that have started to address a lot of problems. 1. I realized how badly I wanted freedom and independence to live life my way. 2. I realized how badly I wanted to help others, especially those close to me. And those two things have given an entirely different drive to my life that I didn't have before, and have given me a purpose and direction to shoot for I never had before. I'll admit, I don't have an end goal, but I don't think a goal is as important as focusing on the fundamentals and the general trend that my life is going in. I have no way of knowing what life will throw at me next, so I've been focusing on what I can do at present to make myself more self-sustaining, and make life better for myself and the people around me. Right now it's mainly small things, since I don't have much independence as I fell behind early in life, but even making enough progress such as "being healthy and fit enough that my legs, feet and back don't ache from just a few hours of standing", and "keeping in touch with friends and family and reminding them I'm here for them", has done me remarkably well in a short time. I of course have plans to take bigger steps, like eating better, exercise, becoming financially independent, and eventually getting the freedom to travel to see friends and family out of state whenever I want, but all of that will be built on baby steps, especially given that I'm already going through a chaotic time in life where I don't have much support with bigger things yet, but I'm working on it, and have already made progress in some of them. I will also admit though, what works for me may not work for everyone, I have unusual circumstances, you may be able to do more or maybe even less than me starting out, and what motivates me to change may not motivate you. For me, what mainly lead me to where I am now is a mix of visualizing the future realistically, and staying in the present when it's time to get things done. I've thought about my life in such detail that I've thought about dozens or even hundreds of different ways I could live and die, and all sorts of ways things could either go well or badly for me in the long run if I make different decisions, one of the biggest things that I've thought about that has had a drastic effect on me is- I don't want to be dead weight if something happens to my parents or someone else in my family, and not be able to do anything to help them or support other people in my family. The reason why my way of changing myself may not be for everyone, is I've made the choice to really look deep into the dark and unpredictable sides of life, and constantly remind myself that nothing and no one lasts forever, and that's what makes it all the more important to do the most right now. So that if anything happens, either to me, or someone I care about, they'll be able to go in peace, and without any doubt that I love and care about them, and lived a full and worthwhile life. Having a healthy relationship and understanding with the concepts of chance and death has completely changed my personal perspective, and kickstarted my own personal growth. Now if you'll excuse me, I've been standing for 4 hours today, and I'm aiming 9 hours by the time I rest. Have a great day, and a slightly better life.

This was so brilliant and so needed for me. I knew I was an all-or-nothing person who wants to do something perfect or not at all, but your video helped me realize it's just a function of the brain and I don't have to be so critical of myself or my efforts! I'm gonna try and take your advise here. Subscribed!

You are amazing, it is like you read my mind. All this while I was thinking I would go for all or nothing whereas I should have just taken the first step and started with small steps. In the pursuit of all, I achieved nothing. My journey with small baby steps starts now. Thank you!!!!!!

Arguably the most important channel I've stumbled on. Insane amount of great information for almost any problem people face in life. Really thankful for this content ❤️

"Do you wish that you do want to change" summed up my whole problem. I was aware of it already, I had written it down already, but I was still stuck on it. It really helped to hear someone else say it, acknowledge that it's a thing, and talk about steps after that point. Thank you so much!

Just discovered your videos and omg, they're so good! You're genuine, I see that you truly experienced three things and really know what you're talking about. Thank you and keep up the good work :)

This video and another of HG just popped up, that's exactly what i neded, recently and well over a few years i've done nothing, i haven't finished school, or even finished some games i wanted to, im at that point where i can't even finish what i want just because im lazy. But now with these 2 videos it has helped me a lot already, i've noticed how my mind works and how easy it can be to get over it. It's gonna be difficult, but from experiene i can say its gonna be easier than you think. Thanks Dr. K

I don’t even want to be scrolling KZfaq instead of being productive. It’s not even fun, but making myself be productive feels very challenging- I have pretty bad fatigue/ recovering from Lyme infection

This is exactly what I needed. Was just feeling proud of myself for sticking to a new habit, and like you said, yesterday convinced myself it's not enough and made plans to start a bunch all at once. The overwhelm of it all was killing me. Thank you for such practical advice 🙏🏻

I’ve never felt so personally targeted by a video in my life. It perfectly sums up what I keep doing and why. Keep up the amazing work Dr. K.

I have to admit that this actually describes my situation very well! I have been stuck in that pitfall for a long time. I thank you very much for revealing this trap to me :) I have developed a lack of trust in people talking about self help stuff on youtube because they're usually scammers who try to make the stuff they're talking about sound logical without it being true! But you actually convinced me that I can do this! I will now do my work and look for what I want to do not what others want me to want to do. Also I start to see that fully trusting my mind isn't the best idea which is why I had so much trouble with changing because it never occurred to me that I shouldn't 100% trust everything I think that was illogical to me but now it makes sense.

Just wanna say thank you. I'm currently going through a life crisis and something in particular I'm struggling with is discipline. So many websites are word vomit and don't explain things in a way that makes sense. YOU make sense. I don't want to change, but I want to want to change, and your advice makes that feel achievable. Thank you.

It is pretty important to remember to start small. Example why is me doing a huge workout and then being out of commission for like 4 days, and I lost the habit right away because I overdid it. Instead, if I did 5 sit-ups every day, I might go “oops almost forgot” and do it right before bed or at some point in my day when I’m just ADHD idling. I still did it. Success!

Just found this channel yesterday at work, but haven't had time to watch a whole video yet. The first couple of minutes got me hooked, you're very engaging and consider things from a very relatable angle. Subbed

i love this channel because in every video i watch theres a moment of realization and explaining whats really happening to my mind

For some reason this one resonated a lot with me. Your advice today is probably the best I have ever heard and I have been through many therapist before, thank Dr.K much love!❤

This makes sense. I've recently decided that I really need and want to lose weight. I've got multiple reasons, but my most motivating factor is internal and I also know from experience to not try to make huge changes all at once.

Dr. K.. fix me. I’m spiraling and the stacking of self hatred and guilt is destroying my confidence. I feel like my battle is lost. Excellent video.

I literally saved this video somewhere to be reminded to me weekly. It is a golden gem. I have been watching many videos about self development, but Dr. K are something different

Knowing where to 'set the bar' for my goals in development has been very difficult. My capabilities seem determined by my willingness to change, but of course I struggle with such a significant shift because I've conditioned myself to act differently for so long. It makes sense when you say to aim low and take it a day at a time with little steps but it also makes sense that I am capable of significant change if I want it enough. Which I do, but it's so hard to default to what you're used to. TYVM for the incredible content.

This video was SO SPOT ON. The mental gymnastics I go through everyday that make working on my goals so difficult...

Please never stop making these kind of videos. You are literally changing our lives! We need more and more of you ❤

“Your mind knows you won’t do 100% so you end up doing nothing” Damn that hit

I've been thinking of trying to change myself for months but I just couldn't fully do it. I already made a list of things I want to do, managed to do some of it, but it didn't last long and started to go back to my old habits. This video really came in clutch and for that I thank you.

Amazing! I've done the full circle: ultra disciplined to full blown procrastination. If you want to work on something (work defined as a vector force in the direction of interest) this "wish to want to change" is the key I've always used to shift my attention to the direction of change! This is so crucial because it's often a different challenge to change direction then it is to move forward. It's like a person who is facing south wishing to be a distance north of where they currently are. It can often be easier to pivot than to continue moving south and hope the world is circular (or be lucky enough to turn due to insurmountable objects in your path).

This is the video I've needed for years. I always felt I was lacking some education on how I work and this has the answers I've been waiting for. Thank you 🙏

When you started talking about that "Pitfall" of either going 100 percent or zero, that really stuck with me, I'm really bad with taking my time and taking baby steps towards goals, and I'm one of those people who if I don't see results in less than two weeks, I give up and go back to my old ways, so talking about taking it slow helped me out

Your work here on earth is probably more impactful than you realize. Thanks for all you do, truly.

I had trouble getting myself to change my habits when I was battling obesity. My initial motivation came from outside of me. When I changed it to wanting to be a healthy person because I loved myself, that's when the journey really kicked off. I'm now at a healthy BMI. Looking forward to losing more body fat and becoming even stronger and more athletic than I am now.

It’s seriously like you’re in my head. Good stuff Doc!

Ive never felt so understood regarding my procrastination and inability to change, thank you. Ive always been throughly aware of what im going through both emotionally, externally, and the causes of it, but i never did a thing which caused me to feel more guilty and one day just accepted that -- i was never gonna change, my parents did get me to talk with a therapist, but it was during the pandemic so it was in a video call -- and my mother was next to me so i couldnt bring myself to open up entirely, and because of it, the therapist just said generic stuff about loneliness, etc. and i just felt unheard, thank you so much for making this, ive always wanted to become a therapist or psychologist, and i can def vision you as my idol! Also sorry for just randomly venting in the comments but i really wanted to get it out of my chest even if you wont see this, thank you. :)

The "all or nothing" thing is so true! With the gym example my brain wants to research every little exercise and muscle and come up with the "perfect" routine before I ever hit the gym and then I procrastinate. I didn't know the brain was so pernicious. Now I try to go and do the exercises I know and learn from them and add/remove/modify as needed, little by little

Thanks for this video. I've been beating myself up about a bunch of little things that I keep chalking up to me not being disciplined. I think I fall into the categories of not "really" wanting to change, but I'm at least in a better headspace and feel better able to challenge this issue in the future.

Thank you so much man. This makes so much sense. Yesterday at work I was overthinking about how I need to change my life. I was thinking about selling my xbox and gaming chair, picking up working out, learning to draw, and changing my diet. I told myself when i got home that day that i would try my first art lessons/ project and take my dog for a walk. Maybe even cook a nice dinner. By the time i made it home and sat down i decided to boot up a new Minecraft world for the 1,000th time and eat a frozen dinner. Now i know why and it's thanks to you. I'm going to start smaller and just take my dog for a walk today. ❤

This is so insightful. I love the way you explain the concepts and break them into small pieces so they can deeply resonate with us.