Imagine someone watching this, finding out their precious bondage/murder set they ordered five years ago ended up in ashens video.

Only Ashens could get the most obscure of loot crates and still get a bloody funko pop 😂

I'm sure eBay removed it because it's considered a "mystery" package-type deal, which is against their TOS. Also, I've seen and heard of it recently that people will send items to an address that is "undeliverable" so they can submit a claim for a lost package and have insurance payout on it, 5x more than the item is worth some times.

haha - this video was great! Some thoughts: - the fiber cables are actually worth a bit of money - not cheap, so you may make some money on those - the blacklight is used in stamp collecting quite a bit - so that's something to give to your stamp collecting friends - the "guard bar" is for a baby crib. Find a friend with a baby Unfortunately, the FUNKO Pop is non flammable - so you can't even start a fire with it.

I was really hoping he'd test the blacklight and accidentally reveal some kind of unspeakable eldritch stain on the couch

These are better blind bags than proper blind bags because you actually have no idea what's in it, as opposed to blind bags where you have a relative idea of what's inside

Your enraged reaction to the funko pop absolutely killed me 😂 they just keep coming back to haunt you

‘To facilitate the spread eagling of a human’ 😂 Hands down, the funniest sentence I’ve heard in 2022.

The "boss kit" is for fitting a aftermarket steering wheel to your car, the part the steering wheel bolts to is call a steering wheel boss

You know its a real LV bag because it was made in France but then shipped to China and hastily repackaged into a cheap unassuming plastic bag to be shipped back to the UK. The perfect way to avoid import duty.

The Cisco-branded SFP-H10GB-CU1M cables seem to go for about $100 each in the US, so that's a pretty valuable find right there.

Surprised you didn't get more "naughty stuff" to be honest, years ago my wife worked in the offices for a courier/re-mailing company and they had a "undelivered dildo wall" in the break room🤣. Their theory was people would order these "items" for themselves without the knowledge of partners/family members and refuse the parcel on delivery out of embarrassment because they where not alone when it arrived. It was quite an impressive collection, and not all of them where of "human" design😳.

Counterfeit goods, a funko pop, and 20% sex toys... yeah that's pretty much how i expected this to go.

This feels like watching a POV of opening gifts you don’t like on a holiday/birthday but you still pretend to be excited about them.

watching this man struggle so much with a beyblade makes me feel the same amount of joy and despair

First package is a aftermarket steering wheel adapter. It's used to put racing esq steering wheels on your car. Love your videos btw!!

In this episode, Ashens: -Fails to let it rip -Receives multiple... ahem, _bedroom supplies_ -Is Trojan horsed by a POP vinyl -Briefly roleplays as a member of Starfleet

This is why I love Ashens. He'll buy the rando shit we won't, and YET STILL there's a Funko Pop in there

There are instances where people will sell "replica" (counterfeit) replica jewelry, handbags, and clothings overseas and they will often declare the customs value as very low. Sometimes it's the same factory as the designer.

I used to sell knock offs like that, you can tell because there’s plastic on a non leather handle, the dust bag is super cheap material and if you look inside the lining of an original is very silky and usually there’s a controlato card inside. That being said, your logo on that knock off is very original looking so it sells for more than other cheaper ones. I’d guess you could sell it for around $50. If you list it make sure to only say designer look alike. If you use LV in the description they’ll cancel your listing.

"It's a fuckin' bastard wankhole Funko Pop!" Poetry, pure poetry.

The boss kit is an adapter to allow an aftermarket steering wheel to be attached to a car's steering column.

If you're buying mysterious packages, then could you do a video about unclaimed airport luggage? That seems like a potentially interesting topic to make a video about.

I subscribed to this channel when he opened a canned chicken and knives from the 99 cent store lmao I’m so happy to see he’s still doing well

Next time you go driving, remember that there might be cars around you that contain parts that came in a box that said “please enjoy your car life”

Hearing Ashens say “the spread-eagling of a human” is one for the history books

it's been so long since i've watched an ashens video, i used to be obsessed with these videos when i was like 13! i was literally just thinking about 0-3 sad onions yesterday and got this video in my recommendations today!

Ashens: (Sees Bondage straps) Uh-oh haha can’t say too much about what these are for Also Ashens: IT’S A FUCKING BASTARD WANKHOLE FUNKO POP!

I lost it when Stuart said “the spread eagleling of a human”

That's definitely a real Louis Vuitton, you can tell because they've written it on the bag! Nobody would lie about that.

Ashens branching out into the 'personal services' industry with the weird and wonderful parcels he has collected

I lost a large box once and got it refunded. Would be fun if it showed up in an Ashens video.

If it's a UK to UK package, but with a customs tag, it's because it's a package from (probably) China that has been shipped to the UK as part of a large consignment. The consignment is sent to a UK processing facility, where it's given it's own (usually RM or Evri/Hermes, the so called "last-mile" courier) shipping label so it can finish the rest of it's journey. This is often done with items from AliExpress and other similar e-stores, to enable air shipping (10-20 days, sometimes faster) of cheap packages that would've been shipped by a service that'd take months, rather than weeks, before this became common practice.

this is the first time I've seen Ashens in a couple years and his format is identical. love that consistency

That guard bar is for lining the edge of a baby cot to reduce the chances of your baby sustaining an injury 😊

I had a funny feeling I knew what those straps would be the second I saw it in the bag... I was right X'D

PLEASE do more of this, it's incredibly entertaining

Imagine watching Ashens open a parcel, that you ordered but somehow got lost...

Been awhile, Stuart. I used to watch you for literal years when i was younger. Glad to see you’re still doing well man. Will definitely make sure to tap back in to the videos. Also glad to see the brown sofa still around !

In the US we have actual stores that you can go to where they have dozens of big bins full of this stuff. It's $5 an item on stock day and then by the end of the week its $1 an item mostly because the good stuff is gone lol. You have to dig though the bins too which makes it kind of fun. Our local one is called treasure hunt.

this was surprisingly entertaining hope another one will be done - the parcel labels are so suspicious incorrectly identifying the contents of the package.

"It's a f'#%ing bastard wank hole funko pop" had me in tears, thanks for cheering me up on the sad weekend. Brilliant concept, parcel roulette, the modern version of a blind bag. Thanks Ashens.

I've used straps that look very similar for moving large heavy objects like furniture. 2 people put the straps on your forearm, near the elbow, with the straps crossed underneath then you both push against the object which tightens the straps and lifts it. Way easier to lift and keep things steady with.

In a world where we truly enjoy so few surprises these days.... this sir, is a GEM of a hobby I may need to partake in!!! Thank you for sharing!!

I love how the blacklight was opened between the 2 adult items

That LV bag is real and worth a million pounds.

You got 7 server cables! Those are expensive as heck!

Now I want to just hear the commentary at least of opening #4

The irony of Ashens describing the harness as a “Massive Strap” is palpable

I could happily watch 12 straight hours of Ashens opening returned parcels 10/10

"I got dog food!" "I got my letter to Santa." "A coupon book?!"

The Louis Vuitton bag is definitely fake lol. You can tell by looking at the "O" stamped on the leather tag. LV always uses a thinner o whereas the fakes tend to use a wider one. There's also stitching directly on the LV monogram which is something you'll never see Louis do. It is a good dupe though, one like that would probably go for about $60 at a local shop by me

Never trust a customs declaration. When I worked for a shipping company (that actually owned its own ship) we would ship anything that had a customs declaration, no questions asked. We once got a full size shipping container delivered with a declaration that said it contained a single television. We still loaded it on board.

On the customs declaration thing: Often times these chinese companies that send non-orders to random addresses declare the item on the website, but then stuff some cheap crap into the box instead. So likely, they wanted to get a review/order for their cheap knockoff microprocessor, but didnt want to waste their merchandise, so they stuffed an EVEN CHEAPER blacklight into the box instead, hoping nobody would open the box and find out.

The bag is indeed real and worth a million pounds!

"To facilitate the spread-eagling of a human" is most definitely a phrase.

"to facilitate the spread eagling of a human" made me laugh way too hard 🤣

A lot of supposed UK parcels show signs of import stickers underneath the RM stickers - this is classic drop shipping where knock-offs are shipped to an address in the UK from places like China, then it is re-posted with an UK label. Usual practice for sellers who claim their items are based in the UK but arent really. Drop shipping is against eBay and Amazon ToS so this is their "workaround" although quite aggrivating thinking you'll get an item in around a week in the UK and it actually takes 4-6+ weeks to arrive.

Hilarious 🤣 I needed a good laugh, sitting here feeling crumby with a cold. You need to do more of these!!! the braid had me rolling! 😅

The Boss kit is for installing an aftermarket sterrring wheel. It would be modle specific. The "Bay Blade" style tops were probably samples sent from a Chinese manufacturer to someone looking to buy wholesale. the "Plush Blade" is actually a Svkichico Handmade Braided Cushion Soft Knot Pillow Cute Cushion Long Deco.

This would make such a awesome advent calendar with you and Nerdcubed see who opens best random stuff !!

Inspect the stitching on the L.V. handbag, including the lining inside. L.V. thoroughly inspects every single seam of a finished bag. Any type of imperfection found, skipped stitch, loose thread or over/restitching results in that bag being destroyed. Their bags are expensive for a reason...PERFECTION!

You have one of the funniest youtube channels mate......and the hits just keep on coming 🤣

Ashens struggling with how a beyblade-like spinning top works is possibly the most Ashens thing I've ever seen

The listing probably got pulled from Ebay because it falls foul of the "Chance listings policy". It's not really allowed to sell "mystery boxes" on Ebay.

The guard bar is for a crib. To prevent the baby from rolling in between the crease of the mattress and the crib.

9:20 the blacklight SUGGESTION next vacation take the ultraviolet "blacklight" to show up "personal fluids" that have dried... (talk about "rude" items WOW)

I remember what happened last time ashens opened a strangers mail.... be careful, this could lead to a surprisingly high production scifi adventure

I can imagine your girlfriend seeing all this stuff on the couch and thinking “good lord, what kind of night does Stuart have planned for us?” 😂

I flippin' love you Stuart... I've been watching and subscribed for quite some time (If my YT channel age isn't an indication) You have always been: an escape, entertainment, comfort, and hilarity. You ALSO introduced me to Barry Lewis who provides tons of content! Thank you Ashens for continuing to upload....I love coming back to find a repertoire of amazing content, growing. Much love from USA.

Looks like the easiest Christmas shopping ever. it's already wrapped!

Also fun and less questionably legal, you can buy boxes/pallets of returns from Amazon.

11:07 That "Oh" of realization when he recognized what it was and what it was used for XD

LMFAO! That part with the cuffs was hilarious when you realized what it was. lol

Just as an FYI, I always open my Ebay finds in the garage, just in case there are any surprises like cockroaches, bedbugs or other such nastys. I certainly would not use my couch as a stage.

Disappointed we didn't get to see the sofa under that blacklight. I bet it has some interesting stains.

Hey Ashens, the "plush" item in 13:30 is actually a baby crib protection "snake". It goes around the baby to insure that it doesn't hit itself on the wooden bar sides when turning.

I have that handheld blacklight/torch combo. It's sold in the US as a RugDoctor branded pet urine detector. Identical, right down to the torch/tube label on the switch, even though most Americans don't know the word "torch" in this context.

I love the "Behold the Excellent Patrons" at the end 😆

If those SFP cables are the genuine article they're worth a decent amount of money. Might even offset the negative value of the funko pop.

That Ezio funko is old and actually worth a fair chunk of change at around $50 in box

I have used lots of those Cisco Gig cables to interconnect Cisco switches in a ethernet network. They did cost a bit at the time but much cheaper then laser SFPs and fiber.

"MY CABLES!"-V. Pootin'.

How the hell did Ashens so quickly figure out what those black belt things were for?

That infrared thermometer is taking me back 😂 back in 2020 after I lost my job due to COVID layoffs, I got a job taking temperatures at the entrance to a factory for $25 an hour. Far and away the easiest job I've ever had and probably ever will have.

Your programs remind me of paraphrased 'grace': 'For what we are about to receive, first-sitting just refused'. The victory of hope over experience.

I think the braided thing is what I know as a "draft dodger" and what I think the British call a "draft excluder." You put it in front of a door to block the cold air from blowing under it, if you have crummy weatherstripping.

You can tell a fake L V handbag by how the pattern doesn’t line up perfectly in the creases where the fabric has been sewn together.

This is the first Ashens video I've watched since before Covid. Our lives change, but the brown couch is eternal

The D&B strap being sent to GB made my day. Freaking hilarious 🤣😆😂😭. Thanks!

This is why I love Ashens

I love stuart's reaction to the funko pop. 'Bastard' apparently is the first thing that comes to stuart's mind when he sees a funko pop. Just goes to show how universally hated they are for some reason.

Actually the Bag is truly worth that amount, because: 1. I Want to believe it is. 2. I saw it on the internet for that price ...somewhere. 3. Someone in the comments said it is worth that much. 4. It says LV on it must be worth it. 5. It's got an official looking receipt and customs document. 6. It's made in China.

First thing is racing steering wheel attachment point also called boss. It looks like it's a Japanese product so it should be quality.

I forgot this channel existed. I’m so happy I found you again!

The ear thermometer part had me dying

that boss kit is actually a pretty popular mod incase u wanna use an aftermarket steering wheel

OMG that is a copper sfp module along with cables!!

I just love that Luis Vomit on bag.

When they have a label underneath and a customs declaration, that's a sign that it's from a freight forwarder. Chinese sellers ship a bunch of their products to UK/USA warehouses and then dispatch orders from there so it's not always directly from China. Also not called for means it sat in some dusty sorting office for a while before Royal Mail bothered to return to sender.