I read your comment as soon as she said it lmao

I didnt...but now i cant not. The whole time shes reading this im picturing a 21 year old girl with a cartoon character that belongs in the uncanny valley. Thank you

Well *NOW* I am.

So you're saying Original Squidward isn't handsome!?

How did you know

I am internet troll and wildly considered devilishly handsome where I live.

@@donaldhysa4836 where the heck do you live? Under a bridge?

@@Crinkfries In Eastern Europe people are generally better looking than americans here xD

@@donaldhysa4836 Yes, very nice.

@@theengine Thank you :D

Only surpassed by tum-tum

Had a potential partner refer to her lady bits as her "cookie" and I noped the fuck out of that situation like a deadbeat dad on Christmas morning. Sorry, I think I left my... something on, gotta go.

@@Jharrisimages oh god, I'd feel like a pedo if I got with someone like that...

It's a better safe word than "grandma" that's for sure

@@Grock620 Au contraire! A safe word's purpose is to STOP the current sexual activity being engaged in. Can you think of anything that would halt a sexual encounter in its tracks faster than one of the participants hollering out "GRANDMA!" Seems to me like it would be super effective.

Five minutes after threatening her father

And the T stand for Troll

holding a gun

No context because I stopped the video one minute in (to get over the love interest's last name of all things), but judging from this I can tell that this book is going to be a doozy.

@@PinoccThePiccolo A doozy, it do be.

And they say that romance is dead.

A tale as old as time

Does it work on guys too?

Not a d.e.n.n.i.s. system, but you get the same results

@rakat sceptic But you're at her apartment, right? So all's good.

I think it's badly written 😂

It's unclear

Why do girls only like badly written boys, and not nicely written boys like me?

Usually the same thing

Yes

True social progress at its finest!

She can't keep getting away with this.

@@TheSanityX It’s an abomination.

Lol omg that is AMAZING 😆

Holy shit no way lmao

Was it “Pounded By The Pound: Turned Gay By The Socioeconomic Implications Of Britain Leaving The European Union”?

@@graealn9982 lol omg you found it! I love the Internet!

@@graealn9982 Gotta love Chuck Tingle.

soo.. how was the book? 🥲🥲

@@SUPERIDOLdesho lol, it wasn't free anymore when I looked it up again! I held off...

Annabelle Evans LOL. Would a woman and an actual troll count as beastiality, or is a troll humanoid enough that it wouldn't?

@@ladymaiden2308 Depends are we looking at something from dnd or elder scrolls? or are we talking about something from wow?

Shrek?

l3luSpy um, you tell me, please. I'm more of a mermaid girl. I know nothing yet of trolls.

l3luSpy and if you don't mind, please attach as much of an explanation as you care to leave. I am curious, but not pushy.

PositivelyVillainous wait is this an actual book?

@@asterixsubs3656 you can buy it on Amazon. Its not just a book...Its a series

But that just sounds awesome

PositivelyVillainous wow, I love puns, but that... that made me cringe.

dDKJCBDSDJKScjDCNDSC;S BEARLLIONAIRE IS A GENUINE MASTERPIECE

To quote Jedi Master Liam Neeson: "There's always a bigger fish."

You have to fuse with another two-whaled person and become the ultimate final boss

Uh if you're actually 250lbs you need to stop being 250lbs

@@i-never-look-at-replies-lol you should stop commenting on people’s weight

@@i-never-look-at-replies-lol you should find a life

"As he walked out the door, she began to sob. He turned, flipped down his sunglasses and said, 'Deal with it.'"

That would have actually been good

I'll Find you Kendra! We're no Strangers to Love! You know the Rules and So do I!

@@Jharrisimages Ain't that just 'gone with the wind'?

@@llewelynshingler2173 A full commitment's what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy.

The problem I would have if one of my friends was doing the same thing is that I still wouldn't get any books, because getting gifted random bad books sounds hilarious to me and thus I wouldn't count as not wanting them xD

I know what I'm gonna give people for christmas gifts next christmas.

Likewise

Same

She's revolutionizing my terrible ability to select gifts. Finally I see the light

I'd upvote, but you have 1111 upvotes.

My husband looked in because I was laughing and I said, "this is a review of a bad book. The book was bad, the review was great." So, yes, I totally agree.

Literally not inaccurate if you're social akward and never talk to people

@@rattyeely yeah but generally socially awkward people don’t vain-brag about how they are so attractive or turn mens heads on the street all the time. Normally socially awkward people thinking when peoples heads turn when they’re walking down the street, it’s a negative connotation (like they’re ugly or weird or “everyone’s always looking at me they can tell I’m not normal”, not assuming it’s bc they’re so wildly attractive and irresistible. Socially awkward people aren’t exactly full off themselves or think they’re really good looking and attractive. It’s like the unrealistic meme trope of the hot girl who is popular and shallow but says stuff like “omg I’m soooo ugly no one’s ever told me I’m pretty before” “omg guys are alwayyyyysss looking at me when I walk in a room it’s sooooo annoying I’m just so introverted uwu” and “i totally don’t have any friends no one ever talks to me” while all simultaneously saying “omg guys are always hitting on me it’s like I can’t even go unnoticed walking down the street it’s so hard being hot”.

She only "turns heads" because she's an absolute whale at 125 pounds. 😂

@@didiercollard To be fair, chubbiness is a factor of both weight and height. The book doesn't _say_ she's taller than 4'8".

​@@timothymclean lol I'm only 5'2 when my weight dips below 120 I look absolutely skeletal. It's not just height, it's your bone structure, if you have wide hips and shoulders, a longer torso, etc.

Depends on which kind there are :P

Sparkles?

tigist sahlemariam HAHA

underated comme t

go to the shame corner

*Get Out*

Go home

TheSongwritingCat I think the worst male hair is a lilac tonsure.

Only makes since in anime.

@@EmilysAdventuresInHorrorland That's very funny.

At least it’s not a mullet?

I think she imagined 3 potentially hot hairstyles/hair types separately but then put them together to make something far worse.

I'm pretty sure that the only reason Kyla Atkins has a job is that her daddy, the corrupt judge, has some dirt on the pediatrician. That's why she never gets fired for not showing up or goofing off on the job. Kyla's just not sharp enough to figure out that her salary is essentially a form of blackmail payment.

I don't know if the misspellings were intentional or not, but they would be appropriate for this book. Yes, it should be the tagline!

*yuo'rve

@@tracychristenson177 there was an indian facebook post where he posted that

*ur

@@tracychristenson177 it was intentional i think

keep the alliteration: a Hot Hunk Hacked my Heart

abreviated: HHHH

*Hacker voice* "I'm in (love)."

Bro I guarantee that if this was a Chuck Tingle work it would be a masterpiece

707 lol?

I thought it was a polar bear first 😅 paused it and then saw what it was supposed to be 😂

Nice reference!

This book does not deserve such an intelligent reference!

@@threatening_kitchen_utensi6632 Sounds like it ended about as well for her too. :I

nice comment m8

Who can forget Justin Brogan's final speech, as what's-her-name fled across a New York street with a pocket full of mysterious cancelled cheques? “You, who call Frankenstein your friend, seem to have a knowledge of my crimes and his misfortunes. But in the detail which he gave you of them he could not sum up the hours and months of misery which I endured wasting in impotent passions. For while I destroyed his hopes, I did not satisfy my own desires. They were for ever ardent and craving; still I desired love and fellowship, and I was still spurned. Was there no injustice in this? Am I to be thought the only criminal, when all humankind sinned against me?” ...God damn, where's the _Frankenstein_ fanfic? _Dracula_ gets all the action!

And creative most likely

That's incest.

@@bossman6798 sweet home alabama question mark

bUT MEW IS MEWTWOS MOTHER

@@nope-ve9ks even better :)

She might have been reading Bridget Jones Diary

Maybe author confused pounds and kilos

Wait, am I the only one who assumed that "our heroine" was a member of the Lollipop Guild?

Nah she's totally 1 foot tall

Maybe she ment kilograms and got confused...

Who wouldn't want Guy Fieri breaking into their house to seduce them? I had just assumed everyone had that fantasy at some point...

@@BritishTeaFGC And describing himself stripping the same way he describes the addition of ingredients to a dish

@@BritishTeaFGC I'd love for Guy Fieri to take me to Flavortown

His multi-ringed fingers slowly began to unbutton his fire print silk shirt, his sultry eyes peering lustfully over his Oakley sunglasses, a wry smile across his goateed face. “The paprika gives the rub an extra kick that makes these ribs...the bomb-dot-com.” Guy’s raspy tones were driving me wild. I couldn’t take it anymore. As if the flames themselves were making me sweat, I ripped off the rest of his shirt, buttons flying across the kitchen. I ran my hands through the curls of his chest, stared into his eyes. “Oh, Guy! Take me to flavortown!” I moaned. “I want your donkey sauce all over me.”

@@chiefrief2940 Sweet Jesus, this comment almost killed me. That has to be the hardest I'd ever laughed at a comment, ever. Bravo. You should think about writing a comedy story, will probably be better than whatever this story was.

Oh my god, you’re right. How was the bar that low

Further proof it was actually written by a guy

@@Degioannie uhm what

@@Degioannie very true, I'd always heard it's physically impossible for a woman to know hacking, even in the slightest. Those stories about women trying and immediately exploding were heartbreaking.

@@snoozley853 stereotypes exist for a reason. For some reason or another, men enjoy dealing with computers in general more than women. Idk why. Obviously it's not a good idea to make broad generalizations, I'm a guy and I'm basically tech illiterate, but the trend is still pretty accurate.

“And now Superman” says Lex Luthor as he pulls off his shoulderpads.

@@macoy3943 no.

Perry the platypus *doofenshmirtz slides his lab coat down his shoulders* how nice of you to show up

LMFAO you guys are killing me. I actually cried reading these comments I laughed so hard

"Batman!" Joker starts unbuttoning his suit "You're finally here!"

*dankness

Oohhh

I suddenly see AOL ads in a new light.

Damn the most dangerous creatures in the universe, Tangels.

Tangles Rof O’light Land L’darkness?

So is hers HEYOOOO

Whatever the case, the "everything that has happened so far was all just a spy job" is about the lamest - and thus hilarious - narrative plot twist imaginable.

You wouldn't understand, you're just not MENSA enough.

The entire book is actually just the main character’s fever dream. Her dad isn’t even a judge

your insatiable hunger for control is very charming, justin

Nice b00bz

Damn it justin get out

With the low resolution photo and everything 🤦‍♀️😂

I’m gonna follow you... idk why. Maybe you’ll hack my computer and sneak into my apartment😂

The shift was jarring and I loved it.

Well she DID have to fit 3 books in there

Apparently the best books change up the genre half way in order to be unique! :/

Now you know why publishers are a good idea and self-publishing not so much.

Because the second one is better than the that romance trash

Man, you really got thrown in the deep end. I don't know what would qualify as "entry level Jenny" (probably one of the Star Wars videos) but this really isn't it. Have you by chance seen the gaslit labyrinth that is her MLP parody?

Fr😔 I'm tall so that makes up for my weight

Wow, I'm 5'6.5" and look too thin at 135 lbs, so I'd probably look emaciated at 125. I'm currently 150 lbs and size medium. Can only imagine what the author would think of someone my size or.... an actual plus size person if they believe 125 lbs is a "whale."

It's less than 60 kilograms

me, at over 200 pounds: _yes so many_

turbulentbeauty I would assume the character is probably around 5’2? But even then you would only be slightly, *slightly* overweight, you definitely would not be described as a “whale” lol

I don't know why this comment amused me, but it did. Probably because it's true for this character

hahahaha

Suddenly realizing how many emotions involve accelerated heart rate.

Why would a name scare her though?

Justin is such a scary name.

i pity you.

“You owe me, Kyla.”

The fact that you're probably right makes me feel absolutely terrified

@@taliajung1553 they're not 'probably right' They're absolutely right

Textbook for nice guys, neckbeards and incels... Bleh

sometimes it works

@@MrLTiger Kick in the balls or YA as a learning material for dating?

i love you

I actually did a spit take when I read this...well played...LOL

Chaos Shadow I was brushing my teeth when I read your comment. Nearly choked on my toothbrush. D: Worth it. Thank you.

That actually made me laugh 😂😂😂

I would read that book.

they what

In an ironic way?

Nah the author sends out the books to people for free in exchange for good reviews - one of the reviewers actually said this, then left a 5 star review...

😱

excuse you

redmanish “normal weirdo” 😂

花菊 I sense a Tumblr weirdo

@@wokeslush9489 excuse you

Are there different levels of weird?!

Hulk Hogan's little brother

Kyla Adkins is equally bad

How dare you! I have a friend called Justin Brogan. [sorry just a meme :D]

Justin Brogan, from Broregon City, Broregon, USA. His interests include hacking, trolling, and brorigami.

@Maurits Who the fuck is attracted to even the slightest hint of the word "bro"

Wait what?

Oh god, why does that ring a bell? I think I saw a screenshot of the blurb somewhere, and it was overwhelmingly racist. Like some sort of "white genocide" fetish fantasy written by a Republican.

Why does the apocalypse dislike white people?

@@davidtaylor142 Because it was brought upon the world by liberal sjw black gay antifa commie feminazis!

@@ribozyme2899 obviously /s

jellybean justin No more anti-Justin propaganda!

This Just-In ;D Justins across the country begin a class action lawsuit to pursue a just-indictment of Jenny's attack on Justins

awh😭😂😂😂😂😂

I mean, I guess you could be named Karen ....like me. XD

@Boom Goes The Dynamite Aye

Scrotum

Moist

Girth

my shiny hiney

theincredibledancock This and the responses... 😂

I believe it was Edgar Cayce who predicted that a song called Trolls 3 would be the final sign of the apocalypse. When the song hits #1 on the charts, we will all face our doom.

Nfts

This is actually such a good analysis, that makes complete sense

This explains so much

with the specifically Christian dating site in this particular erotica that’s a big tell for me

i'd read something with this as a title

@@svgarsnap Good, because I plan to write a 20-part series. It'll just be the transcript for this video and the the text from the actual book scrambled together into 20 different combinations.

Sounds like a cheesy Nickelodeon original movie

Yusuf Kadar yesss

*Hacker's voice* "I'm in (her)."

Graham Kennedy I love you.

I genuinely thought it was going to be some urban fantasy monster erotica. Knowing human nature, that almost certainly exists.

I thought it was going to be like “he trolled me, but it’s not his fault he does bad things! Don’t you see, he’s literally a TROLL (who has excellent wifi under his bridge).”

Ali the Heep That would probably be better than what it actually was

I honestly thought it would be some two ways metaphor, like a homeless war veteran who lives under a bridge and is bitter about life and politics, tries to be nice to other people who are in bad conditions in real life (because one might want to make the romantic interest, you know, have some qualities) but he would use a library computer to vent his many pent up frustrations, becoming an internet troll (he could use the nick Troll as a self-reminder that he lives under a bridge, oh, the cheap drama!). The protagonist would engage in flame wars against him until they meet and, you know, the old tropes would ensue, her discovering his broken heart/heart of gold (and that he looks good, of course), him trying to be a better person to be with her but, ashamed of his life, he would be going in and off those silly self-pity romantic novel tantrums etc until a climax where his old unity whatever-dramatic-something leaving a potentially dramatic event for a following novel that would trace back its steps and undo the purposed dramatic ending. But, alas, it was shallower than even I could ever dream.

Because the readers were the o es heaving.

I was wondering if there would be any other's here...

Sure, you're Justin... But are you Justin Brogan?

@@robincox2423 No, I'm Justin Sane.

@@justindenney-hall5875 So is Justin Brogan

Justin gang

It's a cursed hairstyle. No one wants to talk about it.

@@ReiAnikaAyanami haha fair enough

it was SO HARD TO PICTURE

Is it guy fieri after all?

The hairstyle of someone in a college rock band in 2003

My thoughts exactly

I know that's not what it means, but that sentence always makes me laugh because in German, "mensa" translates to (school) cafeteria and it just tickles me that he would brag to her that people let him in the cafeteria because he's so smart xD

@@lesmortimers4791 as a german, I was thinking the same thing when she read that part :D

it' hilarious how internet trolls always brag about being in Mensa yet suspiciously, apparently do nothing else with their colossal IQ they could brag about on the interwebz.

@@lesmortimers4791 same, in italian it means cafeteria hahah

Well spanish wise, mensa is stupid girl basically, so yeah, hes smart enough to get into a stupid girl.

Thegrandberry you say that jokingly, but as a programmer that would totally work on me

Gaby G. Oh my god, your intricate knowledge of computers and your acceptence into Mensa is turning👏🏼 me👏🏼 on👏🏼

@rakat sceptic I prefer proficiency in Python, if you catch my meaning.

@-DepthCharge get you a girl who will greet you every morning with “print(“Hello world!”)”

@rakat sceptic crude joke warning: I prefer women proficient in D.

I recommend Havemercy as reference material. READ IT IF YOU DARE.

Hold my beer. On second thought, go get me more beers.

Slow your roll there Tara Gillespie lol

Would My Immortal count? Or is she talking published books? lmao

the gal who wrote my immortal is rose christo

Taskforce Rollerblade Orcs Lay Low

*hack my beer

John O'Neill that was a weird episode of Stand Alone Complex

Wine.

Awesomely awful just like a lot of things that were somehow made

Doug Sullivan you know, it's 2017 and two movies have already been made about a badly written Twilight fanfic that got turned into a romance about bondage.

ElRook I do know but I'm not sure how old you are but a plot like what you described would have definitely existed on cinemax late Saturday night, in fact I'm positive that you could probably find 3

Doug Sullivan Other way around I think. You have a very skewed idea of 80s movies. Twilight and 50 Shades are 💯 millennial made

toriloveSubarukun oh I know 80s movies I was alive during the latter half of of it and I never referenced twilight that was someone else

My first instinct at that was "Well, 125 IS pretty overweight, _whale_ might be a rude way to phrase it but I still don't really get why she's laughing like that"... then I realized it was pounds and not kilogramms. It's like 56 kg. Which for my height would actually be UNDERweight lmao

125 is NOT overweight, don't worry about it love💕

Honestly same

we’ve all been there

Is it bad that I can relate to that

Nobody’s perfect

I mean, I would accept that if it had been a porg.

Still a better love story than Fifty Shades Of Gray

Now a Lifetime Channel original movie.

This is the legacy of E.L. James

My god man..

madlants excited for the lifetime movie how fun. Hopefully it's a sequel to cyber sex or whatever.

I don't see how you could turn that down. That's some masterful romancing.

madam makes me think of the proprietor of a brothel which is instantly erotic

Smooth.

SUKI DESU, MY MISTRESS.

Ore wa Emilia ga suki da

Tokehko 220 sorry im replying late but this is SO fucking funny

I was so glad my name isn't Justin.

*sighs

My dad's name is Justin lok

I read this as she said it lol

maybe its the new door technology that lets people in with deliveries- that could probably be hackable

I don't know why but this made me laugh.

well if one can "Hack the Planet", its logical to think someone can "Hack the Door".

yep, he had an axe.

Well, since electronic door locks are a thing, that might be the most realistic thing about that book.

I agreee

It really depends on height too and age. But hard to believe that 125 would ever be whale weight I am personally around 200 range and 5 foot 9 and that is technically overweight but yeah. It honestly makes me mad when people who don’t actually weigh that much or weigh at an healthy weight day they are too fat. You beautiful bissshh every size. 🤣

willofbob And the REAL average weight of an American woman is 180 pounds. That’s average. Everyone is lying

Maybe she has dwarfism?

@@MrShanester117 Yes, but the "average" American woman is overweight. 40% are obese. 180 may be the average, but it's overweight.

There are actually pretty good, creative stories in Wattpad that I actually would like it to be published. But instead, all that bad boy, abusive relationship, cliche shit gets to become a book.

*Ahem* Add me on WP. *Ahem* username is _LuvHurtz_

Nah, more like Quotev. For some reason this kind of stuff is just all over the place there.

comics geek It's alright; you can say The Kissing Booth.

It seriously does. There are a lot of amazing stories on wattpad, but there are also hundreds of books almost exactly like this one. I've been unfortunate enough to read the first pages of a few

Kia Maria muscles just make me feel ill either way. I'm wierd, I know.

bulge owo

His bulging bulge bulgingly bulged from his bulges.

Makes me want to self publish a creepypasta fanfic called *MOIST BULGING*

"Justin's sexy blue eyes bulged out"...I may see what you're saying

Domination and control isn't all that niche

@@SilverShadow02 "Domination and control" is a lot more vague than "wanting someone to hack my computer then break into my house"

@@sunnysea24 yeah you tell him

Well, I'm into this THICC Porg in the bsckground

i think this is a logical progression from 50 shades. 😌

This is an underrated comment

Mind. Blown.

Naaaational and international corruption *I know* is going on

I resign today as president of The Bank.

@@chymos6628 (shoots self)

That’s what I was thinking. The rest is so badly written that it CANT have been a writer. It was a hacker trying to write romance. (I use the term ‘romance’ loosely)

Maybe it's a very bizarre wish fulfillment fic by a hacker?

@@Jessamine29 no shit,

I mean, who else would title their magnum opus with an acronym. Lol

I just assumed someone googled it or got help and copy pasted that part, since it’s so direct and technical and they otherwise don’t know how computers/the internet works.