Jake is physically macro and macho but mentally he appears to be micro

Jakes rise up

@@mathieuleader8601 When phallic size imagery goes from being subtext to text.

chads? old news. jake are new things.

Maybe we need to start a GoFundMe campaign

Not woman, petite (with a special note to large booba)

I feel like one of the female Social Justice Nerds was described as "purple haired and chunky" (as opposed to the one who used to be a cheerleader but now tragically had dreadlocks and NO MAKEUP). Which, to be fair, probably falls into the "Big" category.

XD there's more shapes than that?

This made me laugh.

Woman (chunky)

@@kawaii33366 it doesn't give good representation to anyone

@@kawaii33366 In fairness, it's a university; I'm guessing no one with a lower than average income's going to be present, let alone properly portrayed, unless they're on a scholarship. *EDIT:* This is a _massive_ sweeping generalisation on my part.

@@leongkinwai9709 many poor people go to universities.. what are you talking about? Most of my friends are struggling to get by, but all are university students.

@@lotus_dream I'm not sure; I just realised how massively sweeping that statement was and that I shouldn't have made it to begin with.

@@kawaii33366 Being called cis/cishet is an insult? How? They are just cis and straight. It's not like they're being called ugly and stupid.

Jake is the grandson of a millionaire who was paying for tuition of a military veteran-you know, a person who receives government subsidies for attending higher education. So, the author didn’t even need to have Jake enjoy the privilege of having a wealthy family member.

@@alexwyatt2911 Trust me, a veteran using the GI bill for their tuition is not the same as having a millionaire in the family lol. It helps a lot, but there are still plenty of fees it doesn't cover

It's amazing how sensitive privilege can be when it gets called out, kind of like how Gwyneth Paltrow went on a rant about the concept of "Nepo Babies", while she got her debut movie role in 'Hook' as young Wendy Darling because Steven Spielberg is LITERALLY HER GODFATHER (to clarify, this is not me accusing "all sides" - Gwyneth Paltrow might be 'liberal' but she's not a leftist, she's a capitalist)

@@magpieMOB you don’t have to apologize or backtrack anything. Call out whatever bad behavior you see even if it’s on “your side”

Honestly probably close to a billionaire given the description of his estate. Dude lives on a private golf course

Means the author is not familiar with security tech. Exit signs have a separate independent power source (usually Longlife battery). If those run out the sign emits an annoying warning hum to signal a needed battery change. Facility management is obligated to check those signs regularly, just like smoke detectors etc.

Given that the author has no idea what she's talking about with anything else, I'd say that sounds about right.

​@@mariaparabello6344 oh they hum when they need batteries? Noted a place I worked at had one humming in a back room and when I asked they were like "dw about it" lmao

@@awistaiw-uwuwow that’s actually funny as shit lmao

I laughed at that bit too

This is too perfect! 😄

Jake also has high cholesterol. I wonder why.

No one's slick like Jake Riv No one's big like Jake Riv No one's *BLEEP*'s as incredibly thick like Jake Riv's . For there's no man on campus half as manly. Perfect, a pure patriot! You can ask any Chad, Kyle or Karen. And they'll tell you how much they want that bod.

No one's droll like Big Jake No one's swole like Big Jake No one fits his assigned gender role like Big Jake "I'm especially fond of the patriarchy" My what a guy that Big Jake!

@Carlos Adrián Aguirre so he's roughly the size of a brig?

Well it's really important that everyone knows that he didn't change his name for a Woman

Maiden name sounds less MANLY and Jakes is a BIG MAN

If he said it that way, people might erroneously think he changed his name for his mother instead of his grandpa, and we can't have THAT.

@@smileitsjustagame2937 yeah had to throw "father" in there otherwise he'd feel too womanly ...all those hormones in our food and environment making men pansies and girly and such

My maternal grandfather's last name and my mother's maiden name are different.

The could stack two weight lifters together like legos. Might be big enough with some cgi, the book doesnt mention four arms though.

@@jlrinc1420 tfw you realize Jake rivers is just goro from mortal kombat

​@@jlrinc1420two bodybuilders in a trenchcoat

this made me laugh so hard i choked on my own spit. there aren't many things in life that bring me that much mirth

trigger warning adaptation with every huge musclebro in hollywood playing jake. every time the camera angle changes its a different dude. vin diesel, the rock, john cena, momoa. fuck it, make kumail nanjiani the Final Jake

Grandfather probably paid for Jake to get into one of the military academies and influenced where he was stationed. But what's also unrealistic is that Jake should be 30ish and living in a dorm. Like rich grandad cannot pay for an apartment near the college he is a major donor to? Edited to reflect @Misterkingdom correction.

@@ItsTechnicallyMagic I have to inform you that Jake is actually 24 in this novel.

@@misterkingdom3571 I know. I was talking about what it should be

the most unrealistic part for me was the cop putting himself in the line of fire to save the students like he was trained.

Jake only saw combat because he kept getting into heated fights with his own fellow soldiers… and he had to be bailed out of that too 😂

I am the snowflake non-binary gender of Smol lol

I am the non-binary snowflake gender of Smol lol

@@rhysgrammling4531 it's incredibly reckless of you to assume Smol isn't a good size

I'm just dog.

lol

Not just "Phone bad book good" but "Phone bad book good, because I can be violent with book"

@@nunyabizness6553 Also ebooks are cheaper?? If Jakes is so mad about the price of his textbooks, he should get a nook

@@nunyabizness6553 clearly the protagonist hasn't had a nokia phone

It needed to establish that Jake was big enough to Yeet a textbook across the room

Caitlin Jo Pepe Jake I cannot click the book

I mean, that’s a fascist tactic. You make your enemy seem paradoxically both easily defeatable weaklings but also an immediate, dangerous threat.

From a narrative perspective it is comical

This is explained as a test of protagonist's abilites somehow arranged by the main antagonist in the scene read around minute 50, where anatagonist does sudden exposition of his evil plans.

@@iggykiddLike how they say Biden is an old senile man but also intricately planning to take everyone’s rights away.

It's not exactly contradictory. Antifa is a lot like an army of angry bigoted hypocritical kobolds.

It happens dude. Police recently stopped a black woman from drowning her own baby in the bathtub and the whole black community was angry at the police lol. Almost as if it is a black persons right to drown their own children or something...

It's so heightened and absurd I actually burst out laughing. it's priceless.

​@@BumboLooksyeah. Like in _______ and also _______. Oooh don't forget when it happened on _____ too 😂

​@@BumboLooksthat is so true. I made my mum coffee and she called me a toxic racist, doxxed me, broke my legs, and locked me in the attic. I've been trapped here for a week now and nobody will help because I've been cancelled.

@@kwarra-an Your comment is nothing but meaningless hyperbole... Here's something that would actually happen, ( this did actually happen to me ). You're at university. It's your first day so you don't know your way around the campus. You unknowingly walk into the women's graduate club. It is a floor dedicated as a women's only area. You see a student accidentally drop ten or so big books. You start picking them up. She tells you to "stop touching my shit" and says "get the fuck out of here, This is a sexism free zone" without explanation.

Johnstone's actual history is better. He apparently got kicked out of the French Foreign Legion and the joined the circus before becoming a Radio Host and then a Sheriff. THEN an author.

HUH

@@ShadowSonic2 Jesus, aren't the Foreign Legion supposed to be the people that take anyone? Like...fucking anyone, to the point that they're a common choice for people on the run from some country's police and most are deployed without learning how to shoot properly? From the stories I've heard from people in the Legion, that sounds like it would Have to be really hard. Like...there are people in there now who have been beaten by their superiors to the point that they needed to stay in a hospital for six months, and multiple people that threatened to kill that superior if he didn't stop the beating that also all kept their job. It's hard to imagine what's over that particular line.

My hunch is that long ago, perhaps sometime in the 1990s, William Johnstone became a house author; a pen name used by a bunch of writers coordinated by J.A. Johnstone. This was a pretty common thing back in the day: "Franklin Dixon" (Hardy Boys) is a good example. This would also help explain some of the genre-switching and the like. I don't find 200 novels (the number published before or soon after his death) in about 20 years to be a particularly plausible output level for one or two people.

@@BartMassey-PO8 Agreed; it's definitely a name employed by multiple ghost writers. A minimum of 330 books in sixteen years (fuck, even thirty years) is a completely ridiculous level of output from a single human being. It would easily make her the single most prolific fiction author in human history. L Ron Hubbard ranks pretty high on that particular list and he only ever managed to write something like 500,000 words in his entire career, something he achieved by publishing in pulp magazines in an era where literally never reading back (much less editing) anything because no one would care in a month was a viable strategy. Like...this is bad, but even this isn't even close to the standard of writing you'd expect from a novel written in its entirety in a couple of days.

How else is everyone supposed to know that the mc is better than what the author considers mainstream?

you obviously don't live in the South with the irredeemable white.

@@Gee-xb7rt yeah, that wasn't a racist statement at all...

When I heard I was like "yeah, that feeling when you meet a great guy and not only is he big and armed, but he also looks down on his peers". I mean, who could resist that?

@@Gee-xb7rt i don't argue with racists. bye.

He is specializing... In MACRObiology

It’s almost as if the authors don’t know how higher education works. „Yeah you just visit random courses, probably ‚male privilege history’ or whatever the libs are forcing down our children’s throats, and if you are good you get a masters“

His masters comes from screaming the phrase “biological sex” while have zero idea what it means or how it functions other then owning Trans people

(Because he’s so big)

His brain is strong and big.

Ikr white fairly young average looking men are the first person to come up when searching mass shooter.

all of the mass shooters I can think of are average looking white men 😂 the hypocrisy

gotta use that line in a comedy sometime lol

that bit is such a weird bit of irony. "William" clearly thinks the average shooter is a Muslim Arab, but for some reason decides to go against those biases and opt for something more creative, and in doing so stumbles bass-ackwards into what most shooters are actually like. it hurts my brain to think about

I can only hear that line in a standup comedian voice

Elaina Hall I know, it’s basically the embodiment of the phrase: it hurts itself in its confusion!!!

@@babyvia6712 *IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!*

It could've been a good book about the reasons that we have trigger warnings but nooooooooo

Its a homegirl!

@@Darkerxz she's just the co-author though so I'm assuming the first name on the cover is the person who had the main idea and most creative control

Yeah I found that so odd. Why couldn’t he just say he took his mother’s maiden name? Too unmanly for him? How sad and pathetic

Doesn't that mean he took his grandfather's name from his mother's side of the family? Like, his mom's dad. If it were "paternal grandfather" it would be his dad's dad.

@@flyingfox3296 it also means he took his mother’s maiden name. And she was divorced, so it was just her name. He took his mother’s name. But that would be girly of him. So instead he said maternal grandfather. Because man.

@@erinbailey7940 nothing more badass and masculine than disrespecting your mom 😎

Jake's surname is too big for a little lady

it's wild how badly they want to be oppressed lmao

and acting as if conservative men stand up for women, while liberal women are the ones defending their abusers is just mind-boggling.

Fr tho. Like, my brother in Christ. You can't get angry at people calling you a fascist if whenever there's a "Unite The Right" rally your ideological allies bring out torches and yell "Jews will not replace us!". The last time I saw that many Nazi flags I was playing Wolfenstein.

that scene sounds exactly like this meme post from tumblr called the down with cis bus and it makes me giggle that this author genuinely wrote that whole exchange

It's extra ironic that he also complains about leftists being pacifist wimps who won't "embrace violence". Amazing how Jake is the perfect level of violent while all leftists are simultaneously too violent and not violent enough.

It isn't his height, it's his genitalia you see......

Be careful he won't accidentally snap your neck while he comforts you though!

At this point, I can only picture him as an actual giant. Like, 10 feet tall, minimum.

@@alexjewett7455 Genetically engineering super-soldier during the cold war.

@@BumboLooks I was thinking more in the fantasy sense, but that works, too.

Also missing is 2 ex wives and a drinking problem funnily enough not caused by combat

Motrin yo

That's honestly tragic. This country does not treat it's armed forces or vets with the care and respect they deserve.

I came out of my service a big ol' gay non-binary commie and even I came out with back pain and mental issues. Also, I can't fold laundry like a normal human and certain pitches of alarms and beeps make me taste metal.

An unrealistic part is that he's come out of the military with any level of patriotism for his country, which the book claims that he has.

@@gregoryford2532 both of yall's comments have me losing it lmao

@@AlecNormal fr oh my gaaabbbe I was thinking this and then the second comment made it better 😹

Its like that powerpuff girls episode where the hippies come out of no where to yell at the girls lol

The next step of cancel culture is manifesting it into irl space hence the liberal foot clan appearing. You see it takes a very high IQ to interpret the events of this book and

it really happened i was the mob

When conservatives ssy "i dont have pronouns" theyre usually just stupid. But Joe Johnstone goddamn means it

I’m deceased 😂

To be fair, it seems more likely that the author just didn't put that much thought into the romantic subplot. But your version is pretty funny.

I meannnnnnnn, I imagine that'll get most men going

Sounds like most of my dates tbh (I’m a gay male)

Don't be silly, everyone knows only *MANLY MEN* get PTSD from *the war,* and deal with it by being aloof badasses, which is very healthy

Now that's character growth. Turns out all you need to do to defeat PTSD is just dont. Dont have ptsd you goober

@johnmburt1960 "PTSD is only real for the troops!" Okay what about this troop who has PTSD? *fingers in ears* "lalalalala"

*Logic: 100*

beginning of the paragraph: I hate it when women are being mistreated. end of the paragraph: but if a woman is assaulted in front of me I'm okay with that.

You heard what she wrote, isn’t it a little unfair to expect this author to know things?

Being anti war is bad enough but heaven forbid he not be a BIG man.

judging by how he obviously did no research on of any of the concepts he's straw-manning. I'd guess he also did no research on anything else.

He doesn't know this, or anything. He's been dead 16 years. Goodness knows who is inhabiting his dried out husk right now to write these (though they sure don't know nothing either).

I don't think the author cares.

Jakes big nose bigly sneezed like a big gust of big wind

Wouldn’t it be the other way around? Like a small nose would build more pressure?

I wonder if Jake's nose is as big as Doc Motumbo's. If Jake says your nose is big does that mean it's even bigger than his or, since Jake IS big, any nose that's the same size as his is a big nose.

@@NotTheAntichrist I believe we are to understand that Jake, while very big, has a nose that is proportionately average-size relative to the rest of his face, so while relative to each other, his nose may be as big or even bigger than Motumbo's, it is not a thing worthy of ridicule, according to the author. Having a nose that is oversized relative to your face is apparently something that Motumbo should have trained for, and is a sign of his lack of conviction to being manly

@@iggykidd I think it's a metaphor. He nose too much.

imagine how much depth it'd show in Jake's character if Dog was the size of Peter Dinklage "It's not the size of the Dog in the fight..."

"It doesn't even have a first name, it just says "Dog!""

Setting it up for the sequel where Dog turns bad and Jakes immediately surrenders bc Dog is 2 inches taller than him - and size really does matter. But then he grabs a chainsaw outta nowhere and attacks Dog's knee 'cutting him down to size' but then Jakes spares his life bc now he is 'the bigger man'

Sounds quirky. 🤔😁

Nia Jakes isn't. Wait, that's Nia Jax. Carry on.

Hi, my name is Jake Dark’ness Dimentia Raven Way

i mean most girls think antifa is good. but like, shouldn’t everyone?

yeah because he’s a BIG MAN

It’d actually be a cool idea, if “Trigger Warning” started off as a right-wing power fantasy but challenged the stigma against people who are sensitive to triggers and subverted the stereotypes associated with “special snowflakes” by referencing real people and utilizing characters that are paragons of manliness but open about their vulnerabilities. But I guess there’s no room for nuance when you’ve got a protagonist as B I G as Jake.

I didn't know that about Audie Murphy! :D That's really awesome! ^_^

@@TheMouseAvenger I couldn't help but read it as if you're saying that's great the Audie Murphy had PTSD. I know you didn't though and it made me laugh.

@@swimmyswim417 That actually sounds really cool, I would totally read that

Conservatives are often so blind to irony...

SAME

She can't write.

SAME

Whhhaaattt

Why not tell them? Many readers like author trivia like this

@@chestercopperpot777 long rant for someone busy taking care of their family and working 10 hour days.👍🏼

@@chestercopperpot777😂where are you getting that chimps type 2 words per minute with…sticks? You’ve seriously been crying all over this video. THIS is your 10 hour work day. If you’re saying that that rant or any of your other rants took you a minute to type, you’re a liar. Lying is a sin. Go repent.

Whoa. That's what pajama boy is

Pretty sure it's actually an Islanders fan taking a shot at John Tavares.

Is this whole comment section just generalizations

heard they contacted Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson, but they did not wanted adaptation to be tainted by an actor from a snowflake country filled with triggered government.

@@Koooles actually, they casted him and Dwayne Johnson to play Jake. Bjornsson wouldve been the top half with the rock sitting on his shoulders. They had to make a custom trench coat to fit them but it worked

@@bigdadybojangls9219 hahaha! Literally made me lol

Only Andre the Giant could compare to the stallion of a man that Jake is, & he has now left the mortal coil

Yeah, but Dwayne Johnston is partially Samoan and John is a white MAN. And that just won’t DO for “big man Jake”.

This is a masterpiece.

This sounds like the opening of a wattpad book

I'm not related to Ben Shapiro but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.

Is this the beginning of My Immortal?

@@GummyDinosaursify This fic is called Big Immortal.

Isn't that the plot of Paul Blart

having once worked in proximity to campus police, that is pretty true to how they actually see themselves

"me" (big)

While that might be an easy assumption to make, I don’t think you watched this video to the end.

The author is a woman.

​@@reaganrambles1951actually I can't find it anymore but there was a comment on here from a trans man saying they kept thinking this book read like a closeted trans man's power fantasy throughout the video, only to be surprised by the end of the video. Make that what you will.

vouch-- everything about this from the bigness to the defensive masculinity to way natalie is described in her character introduction to the way jake talks about taking his own name from a male relative screams repressed conservative middle aged trans man@@atomheartother edit: dghldkgdjf also how similar 'jake' is to JA's name and the extremely tersely maintained lack of pronouns in the author bio

*B I G*

I think you mean they'd be microaggression to him.

I don't know if Jenny has already named the big boy, but from now on I vote we call him Jake the Porg

The actual reason nobody likes Jake is because he's so *B I G* that gazing upon him invokes eldritch horror. We are ants beneath his *M A N* feet.

@@johnathonharker266 whoa dude, nice Lovecraftian twist you took us on

Yeah you know it's real unfortunate how the author accidentally demonstrates how toxic masculinity prevents people who need help from actually seeking it and regarding others who struggle as lowly.

@@discospider4120 is this unfortunate, though? This may enter tinfoil hat territory, but if I wanted to make conservative readers think about the complexity of something like PTSD, I might try a subversive approach where I appear to play into their prejudices at first. Edit: maybe the reference to Audie Murphy was deliberate.

I think the author was talking about the color of their clothes

@@lukasthedark8478 ummm maybe in the first fight scene... But he tensed up looking at the middle eastern dude not only due to racial prejudice, but also possibly because all the enemy combatants when he was overseas were of Middle Eastern heritage... So.... The color of someone's skin definitely affects how Jake sees them

@@FIRING_BLIND I was only thinking of the first scene, I didn’t really have time to watch the rest, if that’s the case then you’re right

"Wow, you sure are *big*" I'm sure a lot of gay pornos star those words

Saame "I'm not afraid of you! I don't care how big you are!"

@@sofastuffingits giving enemies to lovers 💀

he would have been able to wear dorm buildings as shoes by the end of the book

Book is called “Trigger Warning.” Author gets Triggered everytime SJW’s are mentioned.

this comment knocked me out like Jake's BIG fist

"Bigger Warning"

he a big b O I

Haha . . . hwut?!?

His mom clearly isn't worth respect, but Dog "Just Dog" Dog absolutely is, because he's a big man.

Mom not big man, Jake no like no big mans.

Call me crazy, but I don't think this author has a lot of respect for women.

Or a strong command of the English language.

Never pay for textbooks only get them on online

What do you want to bet that his codename ends up being "mustang" because he's a big strong boy who can't be tamed by the Liberal Agenda

I wanted the next line to be "now HorseMAN, maybe. Bojack Horseman

@@sophiaako7663 Bojake Horseman

@@katherinesanderson8990 bojangles

@@fucker3773 bodonk

The fascist dilemma. The enemy must be strong enough to threaten us with annihilation but also very weak because we are the greatest people that ever was!

@@HeloisGevit The enemy must be devious and intimidating to justify us "retaliating" with extreme violence and also to make us look better when we "win".

antifa are mostly a bunch of drug addicts and bougie rich kids that never get arrested for the shit they pull

@@dudeidontcare3430 ok. You can get back on /pol/ now.

@@maxlap7855 pol boogie man

EXACTLY that poor guy struggled so much because of all the shit he had to experience

The goal is to make money dear.... Not to please your primary school English teacher...

@@BumboLooks please ur nuts school nutz teacher

if you're white and not poor, that is

As long as you strongly imply it was written by your well-known uncle (who MIGHT not have died over a decade ago, who's to say)

@@BumboLooks okay "dear"

This is the funniest example of conservative cognitive dissonance I've ever seen

@@oswald7716 IKR? I mean I see shit like that every day on the internet, but it's still hilarious to see it in a legit publication.

It's funny how conservatives think you're a worthless snowflake if you express your emotions through words or demands for better legislation, but you're a total badass if you express your emotions by screaming, breaking things, and hitting people. Kinda sounds more like the difference between adults and children.

I mean he also then experiences a PTSD flashback which is literally where the term "trigger" comes from, and is a major reason why trigger warnings exist sooooo

@@brendaningram4362 "a PTSD flashback which is literally where the term "trigger" comes from" I'm sorry? EDIT: OH! Never mind, I misread your comment. Derp.

Learning about her biography at the end, I think it's not even so bad that the author might hold this view but she's writing for an audience who do

I.e A high school where you supposedly get bullied for existing as a white man and helping a woman when she's being assaulted. Also, antifa super soldiers. I noticed that when I started going to college, I started to lean way more left, not because of the teachers trying to drill it into me or anything, but just because it makes everyone's day easier. Pretty much everyone's there to get their classes done, to transfer or get a degree, and thinking that maybe "fellow gays aren't bad" or "women are as good as men" helps everybody out way more than being 'that guy' and stopping to go on a weird conservative tangent or trying to trick the teacher into some Shapiro "gotcha" trap. The point is, Conservatives who constantly whine about being bullied or "persecuted" for their beliefs on campus either don't actually go to college, or genuinely perceive classmates expressing annoyance at their bigoted opinions as "bullying". Truly, the totally-not-snowflakiest political group is unflappable.

Ben Shapiro wrote an equally horrific book too

@@davidk7439 As someone who used to be like that back in early undergrad, you really hit the nail on the head. Wasn't fun, being that one nag who was like "but ACKSHUALLY". Got out of that phase by around 2016-2017.

@@elizabethbennet4791 Robert Evans does some great dramatic readings of it on his podcast Behind the Bastards. Benny has a weird preoccupation with stating the exact heights of every character.

He's like a thwomp

PLEASE im recovering from knee surgery and i woke up from my meds wearing off and it’s hurting just oh so bad rn so while i wait for my meds to kick in i came to these comments to distract myself and this one sent me over the edge for some reason this is so funny im sobbing 😂😂😂

Jake is already triggered in the first sentence by the book he was reading lol

No, that's antifa who shows up. I don't get why people don't criticize the stupid implication that a roving black block of people just constantly patrols this college attacking those that oppose them. Instead of saying they're "ninjas" or "Muslims".

*_grrr man bun_*

Jakes a SnOwFlAkE

@@MrMike855 Oo scary antifa ninjas. Sure.

unlike his fellow students, Jake's not spoiled, his grandfather just handles all his problems for him with his wallet

this book seems like a parody

he also says he doesn't get triggered, but literally has PTSD flashbacks and definitely needs to be in therapy

Na this is a serious work of art, an homage to 'Threat Level Midnight'...

this! 😀

Or Ben Shapiro tbh

I wouldn't, not enough scenes of the self insert protag being really weird with underage characters

It’s not set in high school.

@@misterkingdom3571*elementary*

nah, even this is too well written to be onion boy

Wait no this is the most wholesome comment I’ve ever read, you seem so sweet 🥲 hopefully her videos are still entertaining you!

🥺🥺🥺🥺

Shoutout plumbers man

This is maybe myfavorite comment on KZfaq

I also found Jenny's channel after waking up extremely early in the morning to the Vampire Diaries video playing on KZfaq. What a random and wonderful surprise! She is my new favorite content creator. ❤

Huh, I just kept picturing him as a male Jenny given her reaction to his description.

An antisemitic caricature with an incredibly WASPy upper-class birth name and background. It's like those old American political cartoons from the 19th century that portray the Pope as a Jewish stereotype to make him scarier.

Sam Aronow Jewish Pope? Now I’m all confused...

Henry Hammond So was the cartoonist.

Also his name implies he's corrupt, lacks vision, not self aware, short sighted in thought, etc. in East Africa. It's a name used to imply something since it means intestines which is a callback to gluttony

yeah what does Jenny have against Ted Cruz 😕

she wanted a BIG man, not those soyboys with delicate hands

We can just pretend she was the love interest from that Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie, Space Mutiny. A woman in her fifties that dyed her hair, still looks old, and thinks she's perfectly able to date the twenty something lead and nobody will notice!

trigger warning said cougar rights

Noah Ariss interestingly enough the leading lady in space mutiny was married to the male lead in real life. And is also not older than him lol. I looked it up after seeing that movie featured on many bad B movie reviews

@@JackedThor-so The "twenty something lead"? Hopefully you mean BLAST HARDCHEESE!

and that soldier's name? Albert Einstein

God's Not Dead 3: Big Jakes' Revenge

@@KB-zq9ny Oh, no, you aren't getting out of this that easily. You can't just decide someone isn't Christian because it's convenient for you to not be associated with them. Every heard of the No True Scotsman fallacy?

@@KB-zq9ny A Christian is literally someone who follows the religion Christianity, don't try to be pulling this bullshit where Christian just means "person who is good" because literally no one uses the word that way except for you and other apologists.

Let's just agree to disagree.

NerdSync inb4 someone adapts this into a comic.

Big as a horse!

Cool to see on left tube. Did you see philosophy tubes video on the housing crisis?

My headcanon is that Jake is 12 feet tall and wide enough that he has to squeeze through the average doorway

Nope. Two minutes shy.

You read it?

Huh, I never thought about that but of course it makes sense.

@@kimberlybridges8591 exactly my thought but I honestly would probably miss that detail writing this book, the author's ideas seemed at least to me plugged wayy too hard wayy to often as if the author was scared nobody would understand his ideology or what theme he's trying to convey.

I had this same thought lol, this book is so hilariously unrealistic

@@fuckamericanidiot You know grammar?

Wow trueeee

He is simply to big for krav maga.

Yeah that was weird lol. Like Jake would not be making fun of it. The only time I've heard of someone right-leaning make fun of Krav Maga are people in MMA.

it reads Like a parrody bit i can see it be real.

In the author's defense, he is a very big man. Too big to understand the concept of micro-anything. Cuz big yknow. he big

And insinuating that microaggression means aggression from a small person.

I love how she's unable to use any of those words in a sentence, to the point where she just straight-up says Jake overheard those specific words in an undefined conversation with zero context.

Imagine writing a book calling everyone special snowflakes, then outright saying that your oh-so-special protagonist isn't like 99.9% of the people around him. (I'm starting to wonder if this all wasn't one big troll scheme.)

"Boobily" is my new favorite word.

“With much boobage”

"She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards."

He clearly appreciates a woman with big smarts

It works with male characters, too.

Ha! Good one! Your wit is only surpassed by your charm and overall bigness. You're the kind of person who knows what makes a good day and what just isn't gonna cut it, and you don't have time for time wasters who fool around when they should be focusing on making the day good, great even, as you make every day to everyone you meet.

Your flawless vocabulary and stylish wit set you apart from others in this world

[looks at profile picture] Dog. Just Dog.

Do you get good days often?

@@keegster7167 Have you seen my profile picture? Every day is a good day.

This is the one single instance where I give this book the benefit of the doubt. Jake being uncomfortable around brown people doesn't have to mean he's racist. He literally has PTSD from combat situations in the middle east, and seeing certain PoC might... trigger... that, unfortunately. That's probably not what the author actually had in mind, but... I want to believe.

@@anzaia2164 Having trauma doesn’t exempt you from racism, I think it would still make one racially biased even if the cause is unintentional. Being racist doesn’t mean they’re a cartoon villain or a member of the KKK, majority of normal people have racial biases and that doesn’t make them evil, but definitely something they need to address... Anyways that would be on him to get the help he needs and to break down that mindset. For a long time I was very homophobic because of certain sexual trauma, I can admit that. And I + a therapist were able to change my perspective and gain healthy coping mechanisms. For the record I don’t think anyone should be shamed for such triggers but we also can’t pretend it’s okay and just ignore it

@@anzaia2164 PTSD is the reason behind his racism.. Doesn't erase the racism

@@anzaia2164 it could be like that, but also even if he was suffering from PTSD about he should still be trying to work past it, because it is still a very racist mindset. I do get where you are coming from, but yeah, I don’t think the author is smart enough to think of that.

What does it say about the author when every non-white person in the book requires an inner monologue of “gee, i hope no one thinks im racist but i hate this guy”

idk what the hell you're talking about but that statement is extremely fucked up

@@BumboLooks I know what the statement means, I don’t know what or whom it’s referring to.

@@roseJ96 Obviously referring to you silly. Also you're a hypocrite because you support the war in Ukraine. You are one of those emotional illogical people that should never have a say in anything important.

Just dawg?

@@edeniceribeiro7075 Just Dawg.

@@thegamingbadger5940 it's genuinely incredible how that bit got old faster than the guy who drank from the wrong chalice in Indiana jones

Hey, I thought I was the only one who watched the director’s cut!

The fact that I know word-for-word what this was referencing...

@@Zephirite. Context? 👁👁

@@SpookyySpaghetti it’s a tumblr post that’s like Male writers writing female characters: "Cassandra woke up to the rays of the sun streaming through the slats on her blinds, cascading over her naked chest. She stretched, her breasts lifting with her arms as she greeted the sun. She rolled out of bed and put on a shirt, her nipples prominently showing through the thin fabric. She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards."

@@SpookyySpaghetti the she breasted boobily down the stairs post

that would’ve been the book’s only redeeming quality

YESSSS OMG

thats amazing, but would've been way too self aware for the author

Ooooooooooooohhhh, if only!!!!

Or saying something like “well, I warned you - click”

ive seen this video so many times i read all of these in the exact cadence she uses and know exactly what part of the book each of them is about 💀

classic submarine guy literally lol good job.

I would say they should basically make Jake King Kong but then I remember King Kong was black.

Look for Trigger Warning 2: The Embiggening in 2019

William W. Johnstone and the Absolute Size of this Lad

I'm still trying to get over the shock of finding an actual published work that's anti-SJW cringe in current year.

I'm pretty sure it's the only martial art where you're actually expected to kick your opponent in the groin, then punch him repeatedly in the liver until he stops moving. Shit's brutal.

Krav Maga, or "1000 ways to wrench a gun from somebody and punch them in the face"

it's probably antisemitism and his general inability to Google things

@@smallman3381 If I'm not mistaken, the author actually died a long time ago. This book was written by his daughter.

@@parsifal8186 his niece wrote it, but yeah it's fucked up

throughout the book, it sounded like the author was liberally (lol see what I did there) "borrowing" plot points from Die Hard without understanding why they worked so well in that film in the first place

didn’t you know all middle eastern people in libraries are Islamic extremists?

@@shay1330 as a muslim middle eastern woman that often goes to different libraries, I can confirm this.

LMAOO that’s so fucking true

Perfect analysis 100% perfect you get a pizza

@@pauldee1577 $100%

and it's several thousand times longer sorry, *bigger

Not just elderly, unfortunately. Elderly ones don't know what half this book is talking about.

also, why is that one the woke martial art? is it because it's "jewish"? wasn't it developed by the israeli military? or is that also woke?

@hemingshark327 I think it's because Krav Maga just sound more obscure than karate.

@@jlrinc1420 oh

@hemingshark327 yeah he can't say karate because that would imply that he committed himself to the study of a martial art, and he can't imply anything good about a lefty so he says Krav Maga which doesn't imply the lefty has really studied anything for more than 15 minutes.

that's what i thought too, literally whoever wrote this must have just picked a random foreign martial arts name and put it in, without even marginal research.

JA Johnston entering her girlboss era and we love to see it

She's literally gaslighting, gatekeeping and girlbossing

Just lost it every time Dog was mentioned

I still think the best part was that after saving his fellow college student, random antifa-esque agents just kind of rush him with chains and pipes immediately. I know it was a "corrdinated strike" on a dangerous big boy, but in the moment that was golden.

Yeah they really are fragile, jumping at the brave MAGA man's throat.....

@@rezalustig6773 Ah yes. Good ol' 1984 coming in clutch.

@@lavenderscare4995 The antifa ninjas are the best part of this book.

Johnny Rohlf middle eastern person: *exists* Jake: IM TRIGGERED

Jake: Unlike you snowflakes, I don't get "triggered" *sees brown person* Jake: *T R I G G E R E D*

Jake: I might be racist Whoever was listening to him: ...but? Jake: But what? That's it

He jokes about people getting constantly triggered while he himself exhibits typical PTSD symptoms

@HolyBird007 Yeah, rewatching this (yet again) that occurred to me (actually for the first time, whoops). Jake gets flashbacks, and doesn't feel safe without having weapons/access to weapons. You could interpret the "Jake is uncomfortable when he sees a Middle Eastern person" thing as his untreated PTSD (because we never see him go to therapy/a support group) turning this into some kind of racist phobia, where he's fixated on Arab or Middle Eastern PoC so much due to his experience with them overseas/in the battlefield that that's 100% what he associates them with (enabled by racial attitudes he learned from American culture, which his time in military service really drilled in extra-hard?). He's still a dick, obviously, but it kind of exposes how (at least for this author/their fans) the role of the ideal, masculine man is actually a deeply damaged/unstable person.

Yep. There’s a lot of ways someone can be traumatized for life. My sister has PTSD after a terrifying medical emergency. Latex gloves aren’t dangerous on their own and seem kind of silly to throw a fit over, but they’re a legitimate trigger for a kid who associates latex gloves with an extremely traumatic experience in a hospital setting where everybody wears gloves. Triggers might not seem logical to those of us on the outside, but that doesn’t mean the trauma isn’t real.

The thing that always gets me is that trigger warnings have existed for fucking ever but only recently have the worst people in the world started rallying against them in their crusade against common courtesy. I don't understand what people think "viewer discretion is advised" means, or why things are rated at all.

Yeah, and the way panic attacks are dismissed. I’ve had ones so severe I’ve suffered what they call psychogenic seizures, which are seizures caused by psychological distress. But very real seizures nonetheless. No one is doing this for attention. We’re just normal people who went through something horrible and really appreciate it when we get a warning before we are exposed to something that can set our brains off, and that we have no control over. It’s so stupid to me.

@@anniedangerface my nephew has seizures from extreme anxiety. He watched his boyfriend die in fire and he's not been the same since I worry so much about him and people in emergency rooms can be such assholes saying he was doing it for attention and I know that kid he was not faking anything.

Trigger warnings are very comparable to warnings on food about stuff you might be allergic to. They both warn you about something that causes awful reactions in some people when they come across the thing.

That's the key here. Whatever they are, they accuse you of being. "You're such a snowflake" says the person so offended that they need to attack others. "tRigGereD" says the person who has been triggered.

@@derp195 I find that many in this crowd tend to project. Take the current (but not for long) president...

@@sadrabbit53 Exactly. "They're trying to rig the election!" **furiously tries to rig the election**

@@sadrabbit53 Not all of us who lean right are like this, promise

@@moody5763 Oh I know! My dad's whole side of the family is conservative and the ones I know personally are fine.

It has the vibe of a trunk monkey scenario, where you just push a button and a mob spawns and beats a man down

Stonehawk yeah, I barely got 10 minutes in before I had stop. I seems like it was written by an angry insecure high school student... with a fifth grade reading level. On a positive note, the back cover sounds as if it’s a satire of a present day 80’s action movie. I thought it might be interesting, but once she started reading it just made me sad.

@@Kori-T Skip the book, the last 30 minutes of the video is hilarious.

@@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342 Not at once! No! We need them for the campfires when WW3 starts!

You could shit on a new page every day for a year and it would be a more compelling read, go for it boss

@@depecher6s311 I don't know... I'm laughing rn atleast

It's because you compare your writing to your own standards. Which are probably much higher than the standards of the people who would read this book willingly. So ay least your writing will turn out better when and if you do publish it.

If i could like this 2x

Anyone can be a "published author", literally anyone, you should publish it, that's the easiest step, if you don't you'll lose the experience of having your work out there

Unfortunately I know a few people with similar personalities that did quite well in the military. They can fake it when life is regimented. Problems started to show up once they were back on the civilian side

Your pancreas or your appendix?

@@JayWalkerOnline pancreas, not literally exploding, it just felt like it