Imagine you’re taking your bins out for the garbage men at night, and you stop for a second and look as a light comes on across the street. A young lady in a witch hat comes out and throws an egg at a tree. You go to sleep worried and confused.

Jenny tried to end racism, but did it at the wrong time of day and on the wrong day of the week, so now racism is worse. Thanks for nothing, Jenny.

Jenny throwing an egg at a tree in the dark is literally the funniest thing I've seen all week

Lindsey Ellis in a recent video: "I know the girl pretty well and even I can't tell when she's being sarcastic"

"This feels like a total waste of walnuts, but if it'll end racism, I guess it's worth it."

The only Magic spell I remember (from a book I got at my local library) was to curse an enemy. Step 1 Fill a glass jar with rusty nails Step 2 Fill the jar with urine Step 3 Seal the jar and let it sit for a day Step 4 Smash the jar on that person's porch or front door Like, yes this will ruin their day, but I'm not sure magic will have anything to do with it.

Dude I was always wondered why matthew mcconaughey , racism, and the creepy people on the internet all vanished 2 years ago and finally I know

June 2020: End Racism Spell has had limited success.

It’s been almost a year since Jenny ended racism with witch craft

"I'm not currently in a relationship" Giant Porg internally weeps "I thought what we had was real"

"This feels like a total waste of Walnuts but... If it'll end racism, I guess it's worth it." "If any of you notice that racism has ended... That was me" You have amazing one liners ong

It’s crazy watching this after Jenny won all of those medals at the olympics.

Can't believe Jenny hexing Matthew McConaughey into a bug was made into the feature film Kubo & The Two Strings. This is powerful magic.

When I was a child my parents were super 90’s neopagan, and one time there was this elaborate ‘sun king’ ritual and I was the sun king! And then I learned that actually, some other kid was supposed to be the sun king but then he got sick. So I was a false sun king. I honestly feel this cursed my entire life

"spice up your marriage in bed" is literally putting spices on your bed

Jenny: “One family... one community...” Me: “ONE CONSTRUCT!”

Question: Should I use different trees for my spells? I don't want to upset my Love Wish Tree by throwing eggs at it.

I went to work today and no old ladies asked me if I was Shaquille O'Neal. Then I drove home without getting pulled over. 10/10

Harry Potter but they all do "real" magic. "Today in transfiguration I will teach you to turn a match stick into a needle. First, you must draw a match on a piece of paper. Then envision a match turning into a needle. Then throw the paper out of the window"

I feel like the real magic is the self care you were tricked into doing. You did a deep conditioning of your hair, you blew bubbles. Self care is magic.

Is that a bag of acorns, bananas and oyster shells in your pocket or are you just glad to see me

I can't believe Jenny ended racism

Jenny, I'm really sorry, but I don't think that you ended racism. 😬

"Creepy people on the internet are going in my freezer." This is not the first time since discovering this channel I've wanted to see Jenny star in a horror movie.

You got a cool tree outside.

"Honey, why does our bed smell like seafood and pickles?" "YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME ANYMORE!"

As someone who like, practices "magic" in my day-to-day, it's literally all just mindfulness and setting intentions, and a lot of the older "rituals" originated in practical uses. Like breaking ice in your sink to make your guests like you...? Baybey, you used to need to buy a whole dang block of ice and then break it yourself with an ice pick. All that broken ice is going in cocktails, your guests are gonna fucking love your ice cold cocktails on a hot day. A spell to "turn your ex into a bug"? You ain't gonna literally transmogrify that fucker into a bug, but looking at a cockroach in a box and forcing yourself to just look at the thing and feel disgusting while you think of your ex means your gonna be thinkin' about that cockroach every time you have to deal with that fool, and you'll be more willing to dump them because you don't wanna think about the fucking cockroach anymore. If you wanna spice it up in the bedroom but neither of you can shower because it's the olden times and you both smell bad and that's totally ruining the vibe, you can crush up fragrant herbs into a powder and sprinkle that fine, fine pixie dust over your sheets so instead of some stinky sweat, you can crush your nose into the pillow and smell that sweet sweet, tasty dill. Nowadays you can literally just shower, but some folks still love a nice smelling lotion to put them in the mood. (Lush actually has a really nice jasmine-scented powder that you can sprinkle on yourself, and I'm a sucker for that shit.) I've never really burnt sage and incense to "banish evil spirits," but once I had an entire batch of mosquito gnat eggs hatch without my knowing in one of my houseplants. I didn't know what was going on the morning after when I woke up to find my legs abso-fucking-lutely coated with bug bites, and it wasn't until later that night when I got home and found them all sleeping on my bathroom mirror like some kinda nightmare. I went right for the sage and essential oils, the little bastards HATED all the fragrant smoke I was blasting them with, and they got the fuck out of my apartment. Successful magic is literally just doing shit that someone else told you works without actually knowing why it works, but seeing it work anyway. Books like this can be really nice if the author has good intentions and understands + explains the practical/ historical reasons behind the rituals. Like, if done properly, magic can connect you with your own intuition and help you gain a better understanding of the world around you. But writing one book that metaphorically "teaches people to fish" isn't good for business - so instead of laying out the basic steps of practicing magic and creating your own spells/rituals, these authors write books with spells that are needlessly complicated and confusing, manipulating readers into thinking magic is some old arcane knowledge that only a select few have access to, and that they have to keep buying "spellbooks" from these con artists every time they face a new problem in life. A "proper" witch's spellbook is just a journal/ compilation of useful information. It's recipes for medicinal ointments, or instructions on how to brew yourself some cider/beer (in your cauldron, because it's the olden-times and you cook every thing in that thing), or on your favorite-smelling bug-repellent smoke. If you buy one from another witch/magic practitioner, then it's either a bunch of really useful recipes and self-help advice from someone with a lot of good insights to share, or... a bunch of basic tips they disguised with a bunch of misleading "spooky" talk in order to trick you into continuing to buy their books. (Though tbh, some people publishing this stuff actually believe in the supernatural element of it and don't understand why that shit *actually* works. It's a mixed bag.) TL;DR - Jenny is absolutely right, those authors cast scam spells.

Less "how to cast spells" and more "how to convince your neighbors to stay away"

When I met my girlfriend I knew she was the one because she had a bag of oysters and bananas on her. Unfortunately we broke up when I found her carving another mans name on a cucumber.

I've just spent the last 7 hours turning Matthew McConnahey back into a human. He is not happy with you, Jenny.

"this feels like a total waste of walnuts, but if it'll end racism it's worth it" WHAT A SENTENCE.

Jenny, you should have used more seeds and nuts, we needed you

I really want to see a version of Harry Potter where Harry is just incredulous that magic will work. Like "oh, I'm supposed to wave this stick? Yeah, that sounds like a complete waste of time." Meanwhile everyone around him is getting increasingly frustrated that "the one who lived" doesn't believe in magic.

You know I already had a crush on Jenny but now she's ended racism!! What a woman!

Reporting in from 2020, and Jenny I think we need you to do the anti-racism spell again Please Jenny you are our only hope

Jenny, could you try that racism spell again? It seems to have worn off.

By far, the most newsworthy part of this video is that Jenny's celebrity crush is Toby Maguire.

My name is also Jenny and honestly, that cheering bit was very encouraging

"I mean... I don't have a partner..." *several people are typing*

“I took Mathew to a better place” is honestly the best out-of-context Jenny quote there is

Jenny ended racism, if this doesn't make Toby love you he was probably a racist who magically stopped being racist but wants to be racist deep down

congrats on ending racism.

I can't get over how Toby Maguire was your go-to celebrity crush in 2017 😂😂😂

I died laughing when she threw the egg at the tree. Such caothic energy.

I was going to be a creepy person on the internet to Jenny, but then I got really cold for some reason.

I find it hard to believe Jenny doesn't have 20 long white candles, a talisman forged in the blue flames of the Crestwick Hag's fire, two pounds of oysters, a spits worth of dragons blood, or a comically large porg just laying around her apartment to do a proper "scratch the itch on your nose" spell.

Update: Walnuts didn't work.

* beleaguered sigh * "i guess i'm gonna have to go outside" hits different in 2020

I feel like there was an old couple disapprovingly watching you throw an egg against that tree.

Hey, I represent Mr. Tobey McGuire. He was VERY adamant about meeting you, Miss Nicholson. He said something about you two being best friends?

"You have to have a magic budget for the month to go get crystals, spices, and essential oils." You're not wrong.

I think it's absolutely terrifying that at any moment, Jenny could just be like "I have a bone to pick with you >:(" at any moment. Must always be on guard

Shoes But like Shoes im willing to bury

Based on the comments, it looks like the "creepy people on the internet" spell was ineffective.

Hey so my name is The Cast Of Star Wars. I have a feeling that we would be best friends. I also have this weird desire to go buy a trampoline. Strange...

Jenny:Im gonna end racism! Magic Book: You need nuts and seeds Jenny: All i have is walnuts and im not gonna use very many. Jenny:I want love and happiness! Magic Book: You have to eat a teaspoon of honey Jenny: nah im good

You're a wizard, Jenny.

OH my god. That egg spell, I've actually had that spell preformed on me! Not by a cute girl dressed as a witch but by an old Mexican Shaman woman reciting bible verses. She rubbed the egg on my forehead, my heart and along my back and said it would gather all of the negative energy in my SOUL (rude) and her proof was to crack the egg open into a glass of water and make it bleed. I was just a little kid when this happened and it was such a bizarre experience i remember it to this day.

SPELL FOR OBTAINING A SPAGHETTI HALLOWEEN COSTUME: You will need: a red and white checkered tablecloth, cooked spaghetti, scissors, glue, black magic marker. First say a prayer to the spirit of Halloween. Next cut a circle in the center of the tablecloth. Place over head. Glue spaghetti to shoulders. Write the word spaghetti on your chest. Light a candle or something if you want. Profit.

This is what you get when occultism becomes commercialized

I want a t-shirt that says, "Not only is magic not real, but your marriage isn't real."

This is a breath of fresh air. The most original channel on KZfaq.

Its July 2020. I'm now convinced magic is real and you did it so wrong that the opposite effect has happened.

No Jenny, that spell is for people who literally want to spice up their bed.

I'm really disappointed that nobody has cast that unity spell before Jen. Seems like we could've solved lots of problems.

How to spot if your partner is a witch: 1. Are there broken eggs, seeds, nuts and popcorn kernels scattered randomly outside your house? 2. Do they have dozens of weird pouches and bags full of shells and bananas and notes attached to their clothing? 3. Does your hair keep going missing? Check under the mattress for braids. 4. Are your bed sheets powdery and icky? 5. Do they hug trees but aren't a member of Greenpeace? 6. Are they permanently prune-skinned from taking so many baths? 7. Do they keep visiting prisons with a shovel but do not have a relative that needs tunneling out?

I'm laughing uncontrollably at the smash cut to Jenny throwing an egg at a tree

"I don't have a partner" RIP your DMs.

I think this was all a subtle hint for Jenny to convince us to kidnap Toby McGuire.

My favorite part is that this lines up with pagan and witchcraft humor. I've seen so many banishment spells derailed by "You can turn any rock into a Banishment Stone by taking your rock and hurling it straight at your enemy's face."

The cutaway with you throwing the egg at the tree legit made me cry laughing

"this feels like a total waste of walnuts, but if it'll end racism I guess it's worth it"

A lot of these just naturally evolve into recipes. To break the ice: break some ice in the sink with a hammer, put it into glasses, add two parts triple sec to three parts tequila, garnish with a salt rim and a slice of lime. Offer the margaritas to your guests. Boom, ice broken. Feeling weak and listless, like you've been cursed? --> hearty omelette. Feeling sad after a breakup / want your crush to fall for you? --> bake a cake. You'd still have no use for the crystals and candles, but I guess they just spruce up the place. You already have that giant porg though, so that's probably superfluous.

That tree was nicely appropriately supernatural looking tho.

Just picturing a witch procuring her grimoire from her BB-8 tote bag brings both joy and terror to my mortal soul

Every time somebody's like, man, racism is so bad, I'm like what racism that ended two years ago

What about throwing an egg at the too friendly neighbor ? You will get rid of the curse AND the neighbor. Kill two birds with one egg ! Well three birds actually.

"I'm feeling a little roasted by this magic book?"

The best spell for taking a bath is to take a bath? That's some Granny Weatherwax level shit right there.

So... you need ingredients (all of which appear to either be a> expensive, or b> wasteful to use) time (specific times and days) This isn't magic, this is just being wealthy and openly eccentric about it.

Walked outside and a white guy said hi to me. Thanks Jenny you ended racism

"Did you use a JAR of honey to cast that spell or a plastic container shaped like a bear?" "Why?" (giant plastic bear kicks down the bedroom door)

Jenny come back we need you real bad right now for the racism spell

"Toby maguire-uh... The cast of star wars.. Uhhh someone with a trampoline would be nice."

"This feels like a total waist of wallnuts, but if will end racism I guess its worth it." This is why we come to this channel.

I AM under a negative influence. Its called chronic depression.

I heard the "turn your partner into a cockroach" and was absolutely blindsided upon noticing that this book is the same one I just bought my vaguely witchy roommate as a holiday gift. Oh God.

Man, if only she had almonds. We could’ve ended racism between so many more people.

I did magic before. I got the first starter pack for free, and then I started buying booster packs and compete with players. But then I realized that it would probably cost way too much to get to a level where I can have a chance against other players, so I gave up. Would not recommend.

"This isn't a jar, it's a small bear, but I think it'll be fine."

Still disappointed in Jenny - woman of the internet - for not Googling "where to buy crystals". You're not gonna end racism with that kind of half assed spell work, JENNY.

15:46 Neighbour who turns up early: "Umm... why are you angrily smashing ice with a hammer and shouting at it?" See, it worked - you magically have an organic talking point with which to start a conversation!

I'd love to see a television programme like Blue Peter but for practical magic. "Now, we use amethyst, but any common or garden crystal will do the trick," "If you're out of golden candles, don't worry; most good magic suppliers carry a ready stock," "Here are some shoes for us to bury. We're using Adidas trainers, but other brands are available," "We need a child as part of this ritual, and here's one I prepared earlier!"

You had the real magic all along. In your heart. It powers the Death Star of our dreams.

I want to write a “spell book” for my students with stuff like “Spell to make new friends: Smile and pretend you have self confidence while intently listening to what others say. Focus on developing a sense of curiosity about the lives of others and speak to them regularly to inquire as to their wellbeing.”

While we wait for that fight to happen... Your dry humor paired with your high pitched voice kills me in the best way

Joke's on you, I'm a creepy guy on the internet and your freezer is *exactly* where I want to be

Friendship is witchcraft

"I don't have a partner... so I'll put Tobey Maguire."