Stage fright is normal and kids often get nervous in front of crowds. Reassure your daughter that you’ll be there for her regardless of how she performs, also let her know you're always available to help if she needs it.

She’s still young and it’s not yet too late.

Dont let her near your vr headset! 😂😢

She is still super young!! There's no mistake, lol, she is just high-energy and rambunctious.

I think that’s very normal for kids to feel nervous or have stage fright. I think lightly encouraging her to do things like make new friends or try talking to classmates on her own might help her open up. I’m not a parent that just worked for me as a timid kinda kid.

I am a piano teacher, for many years. I have taught the Suzuki method which teaches us to praise the young child, no matter what. Children respond to praise and fun games. When a parent is critical of a child after a performance, this crushes their spirits. I thought that the praise philosophy was traditional in the Japanese culture. Small children (and even adults) blossom like roses with praise. Your family is very beautiful !!! You are a very rich man. Also, 3 years old is very young to start school, but many American families do the same thing so that the mothers can return to work.

You didn’t make a mistake giving them toys and games. You’re doing what a father is supposed to do, giving your child the best childhood.

Kids change overtime. My daughter was also very angry, hostile at younger age until she reaches 12, 13 years old then she behaves very well.

Maybe she’s just nervous/shy. It’s really hard on kids growing up, she’s going to be fine growing up.

Your daughter will realize that you're a cool dad 10 years from now. You have growing youtube channels, which hopefully are popular internationally, and you plan old vintage games and have extensive knowledge of cool japanese history and some economics. You have old vintage toys. Not many parents have hobbies like you. (Edit) You should teach your children respect especially when they're young. I'm pretty sure your parents and grandparents raised you in a good way. Don't judge me on this but I thought Japanese culture had a strict and traditional way of raising children. I don't know any Japanese.

One tip, don't take advice from KZfaq comments on something so important.

Bro got a wardrobe full of element tees, hell yeah lol!

I have a 4 year old daughter so i understand your worries. Mine is shy and was late with speach, however the past year shes really excelled in her speach. I feel the best we can do is just be there for them. The more communication i find they open up slowly explaining what bothers them. The fact you're concerned is a good thing as it shows you care and that's most important

No a Mistake at all. You have a healthy happy family. Just live and learn as you move forward.

You're probably overthinking it a bit but either way I would say KZfaq comments are probably not the top place to go to for advice raising a child, Mr. AskJapan. The school and community probably have much better advice.

I had horrific stage fright growing up. My grandma would practice my lines with me and told me if I get nervous to just look for her in the crowd. It may have been embarrassing but when she saw I couldn’t find her and I was gonna cry she stood up and waved at me yelling it’s gonna be okay do my best. Seeing her be there for me and making eye contact with her made me smile so much and I could finish my hula dance with the others :’) ❤ you got this! Dont worry.

You did not make a mistake in raising your daughter, even if you did, 4 years old is still young enough to correct mistakes. As long as you recognize that what you are currently doing is not working, there is still plenty of time to course correct.

Don’t compare her to other kids. They are all different. Just support her, and give her praise when she does well. I was like that but was really good at sports. She just needs to find something she is good at, and this will bring confidence.

Has god really chosen me? Being this quick to an upload of 50yr old japanese man has made me cry tears of joy and excitment

I heard a good quote - "either be friends with them as children, or be friends as adults. pick one"... lots of western parents want to win their childs favour by not settng boundaries. their children quickly have no sense of consequence. setting boundaries is the way - they wont like it but it will make them good people and they will thank you as adults.

She will come out of her shell! Just keep supporting her and build her confidence! I work with kids and the more exposure they get the more will help! She’s still young and there is time

I see nothing but a loving father trying his best to raise his kids and going throught every hardship and gratifying stages included with it all the while having a mid-life crisis.

I was a shy and angry kid as well, and in my case I think it's because my parents neglected to communicate with me properly, and chose to minimize my emotions instead of exploring them. If I didn't understand the purpose or meaning in an activity, because I felt like I was just thrown into it without proper preparation, explanation, communication/conversation and understanding - I would also freeze up. And in cases where my anger showed, it was because of frustration from lack of communication/expression. Often times I would act out because I sensed that I was expected to behave a certain way, but it did not match my internal identity - I was an intelligent and serious child, but often felt like I was expected to behave "like a child" and not like an adult. Perhaps establishing a clear, open, understanding, non-judgemental, non-punishing way of communication with the goal of reaching mutual understanding will help you to understand your daughter, and for her to understand you, and society in general.

My daughter was incredibly shy and introverted. Never mixed with others. Stayed by herself. She is in her 40s now and still pretty much the same but not so shy any more. The point is I worried about it for many years too but she is happy so that’s all that matters. Everyone is different. The only advice I can offer is please do not give your daughter everything she wants because you are only making it harder for her when she grows up as she may not get everything she wants then and maybe won’t appreciate things. Also you really have to teach her to respect others and not allow her to hit you etc. seriously you don’t want to make a rod for your own back. 😊

She's shy and she had/has stagefright. It's completely normal and you and your wife haven't made a mistake. I'm an introvert (described as shy and quiet all of my life, I'm 53) and this is just my personality. I cannot change it and I wouldn't want to. Your daughter might grow out of her shyness with more exposure to friends and other people, or she might not. You'll both love her the same either way.

Terrible Twos, Troublesome Threes, ferocious fours... This is a saying we have in the West! Age 2 is terrible, so much stress. Age 3 is troublesome, less stress but the kid is growing and curious. Age 4, Ferocious Fours, the kid will stand-up against mother and father, they will retaliate.

The daughter is so adorable. ❤️ She is very young still, its not like she's ruined.

"If the truth is told, the youth can grow...." -Nas Teach them about being a good citizen and not take anything for granted.

My daughter is 4.5 yo now. I'm 41, my husband is 49. Yes... We got married late & took few yrs until we had a baby. She's loud at home and liked to watch TV so much. She could spend whole day with the TV on. Everytime i told her to practice piano... she said she's tired. I'm affraid that i raised her in wrong way too. Considering that me & my husband are not at young age anymore. We're also in our mid age and our daughter is just 4.5 yo. Thank u so much for ur honesty.

Be careful handing them tablet or smartphone...they will be addicted to it like us adults

You didn’t make a mistake these are very relatable situations. It has nothing to do with your age I can relate to your struggles. Thank you for your videos!

I wish you the best AskJapan hope you are having a great day!

You have done nothing wrong, she's so young. Spend time with her outside, and do things she likes to do.

I thought he’d never get to his budget lunch of the day. 😅

It's normal for some kids to freeze in front of an audience, that doesn't necessarily mean you're doing anything wrong. I remember being like 16 or so and being terrified when I had to give a "talk" about an animal we had to choose. And at 12 I had to talk in front of a church full of people when I had my holy communion (sp?); that was SCARY. I don't think you can "steer" your kids to be more extraverted. Just support them in how they are. Oh and trying to get them to like an art is VERY good! Singing, dancing, painting, writing, playing the piano, sculpting ... it doesn't matter what art. It can be a very good outlet for negative emotions. I myself NEED to make music to be able to control my dark side (I'm a very traumatized person) . But I'd also like to know what your wife thinks about this. I don't know how stern/strict a Japanese wife should be but I think she can be very important too. You seem to carry the most weight in raising your kids which I don't think is very fair. Could you tell us her opinion on this?

Man, I really like your videos🇯🇵. Since KZfaq's recommendation showed your video to me, you have encouraged me a lot! I hope your business and family life are going well.

You had a daughter way too old, this increases the risk of autism especially if the age gap with your spouse is big too.

Totally natural. Many parents can relate, including myself with two half Japanese kids in Japanese school. Key is to not compare your child to others, see them as “broken” or something you must “fix.” Just love your child. The rest will work itself out.

Most of the time there is no “right” or “wrong” way to raise your kids as long as you are giving them love, setting an example of how to live a moral life, and spending lots of time with them. 😊

I would recommend easing your daughter into the idea of socializing. Communicate the idea that the teachers and students are not there to judge her, but to welcome her. Giving her a gentle push towards socializing might be the key to that lock.

Most parents made the mistake of not talking to their children, properly as a friend. Most intelligent children will show disinterest or reluctance to participate in activities that they do not like. Good to talk about it like a friend, but never reprimand them for it or talk like a parent in admonishment. Stoop down to their level or sit at same level when you talk.

I throw away 90% of my daughters toys and stopped allowing her to watch KZfaq and she started to cry and complain at first and I keep telling her i don’t care and I want her to feel bored( because boredom stimulates your imagination) and after just a short while I seen a big change in her attitude as she started playing more creatively with the few toys she has left . And now she actually says to other people it’s good to feel bored lol she’s only 5 .

You have to just start telling her NO so she doesn't always get her way.

I wouldn't worry about it. She's still a very young child and has plenty of time to " come out of her shell." She's probably just naturally shy.

Your age, her school performance, her behavior at home, school starting in April, none of these are related. You are drawing connections where they don't exist. It's just about spoiling her but more importantly lack of discipline. You are afraid to say no to her, and it has made her spoiled. She thinks she deserves everything and doesnt know how to handle people telling her "no" now.

The best thing you can do for your kids is to take them outdoors on a weekend and limit access to screens of any kind. They will love it. Go out to inaka, to nature, forest, lakes, etc, etc. Go to ワンワンランド in Ibaraki, take them to Mt. Tsukuba, Japan has so much to offer. This will have a positive chain effect on everybody in the family and boost imagination, creativity, and calm the mind. Way too many kids grow up glued to screens from morning to evening, not being able to see the world around them, which down the road will only lead to aggressive behavior, low confidence, short attention span and health issues as they grow older.

Just remember she is 4 years old and she won’t even remember after she grows up. It is really difficult to pinpoint what could help her. Only thing I can say is maybe expose her to more opportunities to make friends. I honestly feel friends make the best teacher at young age. Make her see how her friends treat their father. Whatever you do never give up and I already know you won’t. It’ll workout at the end.

Sing karaoke🎤 as a family, at least once a week 🤗

I don't know if you are pushing the algorithm but talk to your daughter, guide her. She has to learn to how to make correct choices, help her in that. When she grows up if she trust you, you could continue to guide her.

Hello! As someone with many siblings myself, this could be due to a lot of things. She’s 4 years old, right? She’s just starting school and still in her toddler stage. At this point, she is learning how to control her emotions. Take time to show her the appropriate way to express how she feels. Make sure she doesn’t get what she wants when she does this violent behavior you’re telling us about, but show her the correct way to ask for what she wants and reward her when she follows your instructions. When she gets this guidance from you, it will show in her behavior at school and with her friends. Remember to be patient with her. She hasn’t been here for very long and is still learning the way to live. Good luck!

its not too late pa! never give up on yourself,,

Talking to your children is the most important thing a parent can do. As for your daughter it will flip for the better later on.

as someone who used to do things like that, maybe the case is the child is not being treated in school as they are used to in other social situations.

My son had similar issues when he first started school, pretty much the only one not participating in the performances. After about a year he was able to participate in performances. He is very smart and talented but he is shy and takes a while to open up. So maybe just giving it time can help. You seem like a good and fun dad, things will even out!

If she’s shy then you can’t change that and maybe you shouldn’t try to change her. Maybe you can help her acknowledge this part of her personality and find some way to manage her anxiety. I don’t think toys have anything to do with it. I do not know you or your daughter. I wish you both the best.

i work in a kindergarten: it is totally normal for kids to freeze when they see a big group of people (or start crying/running to their parents when they see them in a group). it is all normal, and kids mostly grow out of that. i feel it is most important (in that young age) for them to have fun while doing those performances and that you don´t put too much focus on her freezing. u know...just go over it and don´t make big deal out of it. next year she will probably be totally different.

The age gap between me and my parents is about 33 years. The age gap between my parents and their parents was 19 years. The age gap between kids and parents had been increasing over the years.

why does this guy look so healthy, when he eats garbage, works like a dog, and is stressed out?

I like how you wear element a lot. I grew up skateboarding in the early 2000s. Element was the coolest along side adio. I’m only 29 but well on my way to 50. Hopefully I could be as distinguished when I’m older. Japan street ware and style has always been one of my favorites.

it sounds like she was nervous and feeling a bit shy. i know the feeling well as i had the same problem as a child. remember putting yourself forward into the spotlight can be a scarey thing for a child. the best thing you can do is just encourage her, stand by her side and let her know she isnt alone. share your feelings with her, listen to how she is feeling and let her know that even if she does not do well you will still love her. thats all a father can really do.

Yes, stage fright in little ones is very usual, especially when they see all the grown ups on performance day (very different to rehearsal!). It may take another year but I am certain that she will begin to enjoy singing and dancing together with her friends in time. This is good for developing the bonds of friendship. If your daughter tries to hit you in the future, please tell her not to hit her papa. This makes everyone sad. She can use her words to tell you what is causing her worry or anger. She is still your princess and she knows that you care about her well being.

I believe that you should spend more time with her, you know like talking to her ask her about things that she likes thing that she doesn't, her insecurities just...spend valuable time with her to get her to open up with you to understand her more. And i hope this is it befause im a teenager im not a father

You are concerned and you are caring for your child. That makes you a good dad. I don’t know in Japan but tdon’t let her uniqueness die to conformity

Your kid is okay bro there's no need to worry I think because she's still young she's still trying to develop herself and trying to get to know her environment so I think within time she'll open up a little more

Children need strong leadership and direction. Its very much a deep part of traditional Japanese culture. You know what to do.

My father was like you , he was in his 50s when i born , he use to tell my mom always that he will never reach my 20s but am 31 now, and he's in a good health thanks to Allah. No matter what your age is, enjoy the moment, be positive, take care of your health, and don't smoke 😅 , My allah gives you a long & healthy life ,& hopefully you will see your daughter children's.

It seems like she has stage fright. Some kids (and even adults) may show this behavior, it is important to be extremely supportive now. People have different ways to express, depending on the situation, it looks like she is not comfortable yet with the exposure to crowds while performing, normal. Just show her that her family will be with her, regardless of the situation, and she eventually will overcome this challenge. I talk it because I have a six years-old daughter, smart as you could even imagine, and she also had a similar problem when she was younger, nowadays she's way better. Just give her love and support, all will be fine

That’s normal to be shy. And it could be a cultural thing as well. I mean that in a good way. It’s all good. Positive reinforcement at home but don’t falsely inflate their ego. It sets them up for failure later. U seem like an awesome dad ! Keep being u man. None of us have an instruction manual. Helping the be safe and experience many new things through your guidance will help. You’ve got this

I like watching your videos and all the cool Japanese stuff. While we have many of these in New Zealand, there is more in Japan.

Your video came up suddenly in my recommended, and I'm quite astonished you're such an extremely popular English-speaking Japanese KZfaqr‼️Your contents must get a lot of interests from overseas viewers. What's your secret? Good for you, and I envy you‼️🤩

I have taught kindergarten for many years (in America) and your daughter's behavior sounds very typical of that age. As you said, she is growing from a baby to a "big kid" who seeks more independence. Tantrums and being bossy to friends are pretty common. Kids at this age need a lot of modeling of how to work through various situations like disagreements with friends and not getting their own way. As for the many toys, maybe turn it into a positive experience by donating the toys that aren't being used to children who need toys and involve your son and daughter in the process of choosing the toys and the place to donate them. I think as parents we are always second-guessing how we are raising our children. Good luck!

My perspective: She needs a balance of responsibility & reward to bolster a healthy sense of account, I feel. Discipline/boundaries gives us an integral platform for gratitude and appreciation - It is the contrast of life. If she is spoiled, that means she doesn't hold value or worth to the things that are given her - therefore she feels no need or lacks spirit to work for anything. She needs to be given a chance to understand the value, by either work or responsibility behind those relative things. Thank you for your videos! It is a fascinating perspective.

The girls in the VR did NOT have stage fright

Man… I’m right there. My girls 3 and I said I was going to be more involved. More hands on. My parents stuck a Game Boy in my hands when I was little and it became my hyper fixation. Now I’ve done the same thing… I have my baby girl a-a IPad. I’m so ashamed!!! It was only shipped to be for long car rides. Then it became a tool to help distract her so I could get stuff done. Now is her go to form of entertainment. Did I fumble it guys?? I can’t take it back now. I just hoping that when she starts school she’ll use it less.

Be short en clear * Make real time for the kids. * Make a timetable for father-playtime. * Talk to them about that you do not have to play with them all day and they should enjoy themself at that time. * Make them choose what they want to do in their time and put that on the timetable to if needed you can point out it is not father play-time yet. * Timetable should be visible en easy to read for the kids and next to of should be a clock. * She is trying to get your attention. * Kids only want ritme, guidaince and clearity and are afraid of rejection from their loved ones. Kids do not accept the answer "no" anymore. They need to understand it. They will get bigger soon 😉, hang in there🍀🍀🍀

Teach by example 🤗, dear brother Isao!

Play music at home, sing and dance with her and she'll flourish😊🤗

I think kids are unique and their personalities are a lot out of our control

I think I made a mistake by doing an abortion 2 years ago.Still regretting it

You say you’re really lonely. Have you considered playing VR Chat? It’s a fun VR social game with tons of worlds to explore, avatars, and people you can chat with. You don’t need a headset to play it(although the experience is better) you can play it in desktop mode, and it’s free on steam. I know a lot of lonely Japanese/korean/chinese people that play it, of all ages and personality types. It’s pretty fun, you should give it a shot.

I think you deserve credit in being a very caring father and for wanting your children to have a good life. I think it's good to do nice things for your children but I also think it's not good to cave into your all your daughter's demands and give her everything that she wants all the time. I think this will cause her to not have patience and to not be able to handle it emotionally any time she doesn't get what she wants. I suggest that if she wants something, you make her earn it. For example, if she wants a toy, ask her to help with a simple chore or tell her that if she is well behaved for the day she can get a toy or some other reward. I do think it is a problem that your daughter will hit and kick you. When you let her do that, you are letting her be the boss but in reality, you are the boss because you are the parent. You need to figure out some sort of non violent way to discipline your daughter when she hits you. Maybe you could try something such as taking her toys away for an hour and or making her sit in her room with no toys or tablets or TV for half an hour. Your daughter needs to understand that when she misbehaves, there will be consequences and when she sees that there are real consequences for her misbehavior, she will probably start to change her behavior. Another thing is that there is a reason your daughter is getting angry like that and hitting you and I'm not exactly sure why she is doing that but maybe your could work with a therapist or counselor or psychologist to address this issue. As far as your daughter being more shy and keeping to herself in school, that might just be something she will grow out of and it's not unusual for a 4 year old to be shy in school. However, if the this issue persists for a long time (as in years), it could also be something to talk with a counselor about. It's not a necessity that you work with a counselor or therapist but I'm just suggesting it as an option. Parents working with counselors/therapists/psychologists is very common in the United States.

I'm autistic and extremely introverted, I haven't had friends in 15 years lol. Throughout school I performed very poorly, however once I reached university I scored the highest degree and my skills are now in high damand. As you said, maybe she is very intelligent and watching your videos I think you should research autism and ADHD, I only found out about my autism at age 32 and it's often invisible (you can't tell just by looking at someone). My suggestion is don't compare them to other kids (especially not infront of them), being different is often what makes people excel in life. I remember my parents always comparing me to other kids and those negative critisisms always stuck with me.

Your daughter is lucky to have a father. Age doesn't necessarily matter. I know that some mothers hire men to take their children to school just to make it look like they have a father even when they don't. That's a more sad situation.

I'm honestly baffled that she already has enough character to actively dislike being filmed and be "cold" towards her peers, and now you're on the fence about whether she's spoiled or not. Is it even possible to spoil a 4 year old? I was under the impression that all 4 year olds do is cry, poop, and throw up: toilet optional. I'm not even sure I understood the concept of being recorded when I was 4.

This can be dreadful or scary or you can have faith in her and yourself. Living in fear of something that probably won't happen in the future is no reason to lose confidence. She needs to hear that it is OK and try to understand how that must have felt for her. Ask her questions and really listen. Practice little skits at home to help with her confidence and find out what bothered her. Tell her not to worry and that you aren't worried about her figuring this out. Because you will get past these things and look back on them as opportunities to be strong man and a good father. Have faith in yourself and show her love that shows no matter what she does you will never leave her side and will always have her back first. Be strong and believe and you will build a girl that is strong even when it's hard to be.

12:02 - This must be the reason on why she frozes or not participating during the musical performance while parents are watching. You also said your daughter is smart so instead of showing a bit of violence of punching and kicking (because you're her father, she's close to you and open to express her emotions), she just then looks down on the floor (to express her uncomfortability with parents around). Another reason is, she might be having a crush on someone's guardian attending the musical performance. I remember having a crush on older people or adults when I was 5 years old. I tend to become shy when my crush looks at me.

> I have made a mistake > I have spoiled her too much > I didn't discipline her > What should I do Brother you have answered that, remember that you're a FATHER not a friend.

In my humble opinion, it might be that you need to present yourself to your daughter as a more authoritarian figure, which doesn't mean that you must scold her or being severe, but just show her that you're the adult, that she has to follow what you say because you know better, in each little aspect of life. She is young and absorbs everything she bumps into, so it's very important that she gets a guide in her life. You must be the guide. Be mature, teach her how to grow up. Be kind and loving, but behave as an adult. Be the figure she will naturally end up trusting the most.

I think it is best to talk to your daughter about why she did not want to participate in the school activity and see what she says. What does she like and not like about school, does she like her teacher? does she like her class mates? But importantly, not to laugh at her reply. She needs to feel that there is emotional support from her parents in order to open up about her feelings. As for the video where she is kicking and punching you, there seems to be some frustration that she feels but can not express in words. I hope you will get some answers from her.

I think she is very shy when it comes to this performance in front of a large audience

Bibliography: 1. Parenting from the Inside Out by Daniel Siegel et al. 2. The Circle of Security 3. The Zones of Regulation I wonder if her shyness is a behavior that got reinforced at home. She wanted to show you a silly little dance she came up with, but you didn't pay attention. Why does she have performance anxiety? Does she get punished for tiny mistakes? Is she allowed/encouraged to take the spotlight in the household whenever she wants to tell a story and wants to force everyone to listen (for example at the dinner table)? Does she get shunned when she wants to have everyone's full attention but you're mid-sentence saying something to your wife? Does she get encouraged to keep making mistakes? What is the parental response whenever she expresses herself the way she naturally is? If she acts a little silly and out of line, does she get encouraged, discouraged? The toys are the problem? So what's the right number of toys to give a child? "1.14 toys per lunar cycle per child"? "2π toys per female child generation"? How can that be measured... How are toys a problem? Kids tend to prefer the toys which foster happy parent-child interactions. Whatever toys you guys use to play and role play together, that's what they'll like. Even if you give her 2,000,000,000 toys she'll end up playing with the same dirty bear, or they'll gravitate towards the soccer ball if that's what gets you out of the house with her. As for her excessive use of force, is she expressing frustration to something she perceives as a form of neglect or one-sidedness from you?

Growing up my mom always warned me to be mindful of others, because they might be disadvantaged compared to me. So I learned to appreciate the things I have, if you consider you have 'spoiled' the children too much just tell them that what they have is a gift and not all everyone has what they have. Cheers 😊

I'm in my 30's and i also have social anxiety - I don't always want to be seen or feel like I am being judged. I understand that my feelings aren't logical, but the pain in my head is real. The only thing that helped me a bit with my self-esteem is going to the gym and becoming stronger physically. I had a cashier job where I had to interact with a lot of different people, but that didn't help me at all. I read that gut microbiome could influence interconnectivity in your brain to deal with this issue, so maybe eat more fermented food like kim-chi and others.

Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world. No need to worry for now. One thing kids want from parents is not stuffs but time. Stuffs, they can buy it back but you cannot rewind back in time.

word of advice. Dont let your kids on the internet until they are at the end of middleschool. trust me they are not missing anything.

Im a parent of a 3yo and 6yo (in the spectrum) so I can understand the situation in some way. I have also provided them tons of toys, because I love toys, so also wonder if Im spoiling them. But I know they are very creative because of it, so I think in time, as they grow older, they will have more control of themselves (like my 6yo more recently), so it's probably mostly the age and how they deal with emotions.

simmer down man, she is only 4 years old. I was shy, nervous when I was very young in front of a crowd. I don't like being put on the spot in front of people

You know so many people go through jail drugs endure terrible circumstances and still come out to be the best so anyone saying your not doing a good job is wrong spending time with those you love no matter tommrow is the best life

Reading stories with moral lessons and participating as a family in volunteering work (eg. Helping in animal shelter, children hospital, etc) can help your children: - Develop empathy and kindness - Learn valuable life lessons and moral values - Understand social issues and the importance of helping others - Become responsible and caring individuals These experiences can shape their character and help them grow into compassionate and socially aware people.

I was very similar when I was a child. I have home videos from my childhood to prove it, but I'm a healthy adult, so I wouldn't be overly concerned. I think I was perhaps a little delayed in my childhood, but I've got a totally normal IQ now. I was definitely a shy kid, and although I didn't necessarily have anxiety as a child, I do have some social anxiety as an adult, so I think it sorta manifested into that from my shyness as a kid, but I still get by, so she's probably fine.