I'm Scared Of Spending The Rest Of My Life Alone | The Age Of Loneliness

I'm Scared Of Spending The Rest Of My Life Alone | The Age Of Loneliness | Absolute Documentaries

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2 жыл бұрын

In this absolute documentary, people from all walks of life talk honestly about their experiences with loneliness, from a 19-year-old student to a 100-year-old woman. It investigates the social isolation in modern society that many people of all age and class suffer from.
Director: Sue Bourne
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From: The Age of Loneliness
Content licensed from Wellpark to Little Dot Studios. Any queries, please contact us at: owned-enquiries@littledotstudios.com
#Loneliness #Ageing #MentalHealth

Пікірлер: 1 200

@zhugeliang3905 3 ай бұрын

Having children is no guarantee that they will want to have anything to do with you when you are old.

@frederickmuhlbauer9477 Ай бұрын

Very true like in my case my son does not

@clarewelter2207 Ай бұрын

You Are So Right!!

@debracappiccille6485 Ай бұрын

Mine don’t. I’m scared. No neighbors. No family. Sick and all alone. B

@worldview730 Ай бұрын

Having "anything" (Money, material riches, etc.) is no guarantee of a cure, we can only depend on a higher power for that?

@sherryislam2002 Ай бұрын

Correct

@meenatural4502 Жыл бұрын

100 years old, 3 children, 7 grandchildren, 6 great-grandchildren, 1 great-great-grandchild and LONELY! Children are not a guarantee to save you from loneliness, friends are.

@danquaylesitsspeltpotatoe8307 11 ай бұрын

Fund raising for the pirate channels owner private bank account!

@howellwong11 6 ай бұрын

All her friends are dead,

@monicaperez2843 4 ай бұрын

Please consider a senior social robot, such as Elli-Q . . .

@sTraYa249 4 ай бұрын

@@danquaylesitsspeltpotatoe8307what on earth would you say that for?

@sTraYa249 4 ай бұрын

I do hope you're still going strong. You are not alone, there's enough of us. 🎉

@juanitarichards1074 2 жыл бұрын

I feel bad for these people but I've chosen to spend the rest of my life alone. My second marriage broke up in 1984 when I was 27. I chose never to marry nor live with a man again. I had a few relationships but never lived with them. My last relationship ended when I was 39 and I never dated again. I'm 64 now and never feel lonely. I love my own company, I have a few good friends and they all feel like I do. They haven't dated for many years but have busy lives with work and hobbies and traveling. I'm retired now and enjoy a peaceful life with my books, music and my garden. I love learning new things and doing research. For those who are lonely it would be a good idea to start community groups where they can get together, visit each other and go on outings together - picnics in the park, out for afternoon tea, movie afternoons, hobby groups or other shared interests - books, gardening, knitting, anything you can share with likeminded people. Adopt a grandparent........think about starting such a group in your community and visit each other.

@michellehitt1976 2 жыл бұрын

Oh I really enjoyed reading what you wrote. Do you live in the UK ? I was just wondering since you wrote about afternoon tea. I'm in the US myself. I wish you well.

@juanitarichards1074 2 жыл бұрын

@@michellehitt1976 I live in NZ, born and bred and love my home. I've traveled and lived overseas, but there is no place like home.....

@princessromanov 2 жыл бұрын

In the city I live in there was a fascinating story in the paper on January about a group of older single people who are sharing a house together who would otherwise be living alone. I thought what a great idea. No relationships involved just house mates but retired or semi retired people

@cathyl8675 Жыл бұрын

@@princessromanov I watched a program on utube called Silver Nest. They found roommates to save money but found they gained so much more.

@cathyl8675 Жыл бұрын

We had a singles group and a friends group started on our nextdoor app. The two groups merged and it became a disgusting hang out at bars and married couples group. The decent people were left out. Hmmm sure didn't hit the mark, or maybe that was the point, for the lonely married founders.

@janebufton1960 3 ай бұрын

Having children doesn't necessary give you a line for not feeling lonely as we age.

@rockingredpoppy9119 3 ай бұрын

Agreed, I found that out in the last couple years.

@serenapiccinini392 3 ай бұрын

🎉assolutely

@Fegga1955 2 ай бұрын

Exactly,they are living own lives

@ercieberwick1513 2 ай бұрын

Abraham Lincoln once said, "A man is as happy as he makes up his mind to be."

@rockingredpoppy9119 2 ай бұрын

@@ercieberwick1513 and he was murdered.

@christinereich6050 3 ай бұрын

I live alone and expect to die alone. I am not afraid to die alone. If people weren't there when I was alive, I don't need them when I am dying.

@suraiyamansoor9740 3 ай бұрын

Agree. Someone will bury u or the place Wil stink. So dont upset yourself for the evil ppl world

@terryzotto7946 2 ай бұрын

4:29

@worldview730 Ай бұрын

Just you & your maker?

@christinereich6050 Ай бұрын

Yes I think that would be wonderful. @@worldview730

@tedoneilclark4710 Ай бұрын

Yes they would only be around to see what they could get in terms of money and things ❤

@EricaYE6 Жыл бұрын

I like being alone. Peaceful and quiet. No drama and no excess messes to clean up. If I wanna socialize, I'll go out and socialize whenever I want.

@runwithkim1849 6 ай бұрын

me too I like myself❤

@EASYTIGER10 5 ай бұрын

Unfortunately many don't have that option

@RuthRandoms 4 ай бұрын

Teach me how to embrace it and get used to it!! Lol.

@EricaYE6 4 ай бұрын

@@lapacesiaconvoi Write a will. Get a lawyer to make sure that happens.

@user-ox1jw7ur6g 4 ай бұрын

@@lapacesiaconvoi See a funeral director and tell them your wishes.

@chetyoubetya8565 2 ай бұрын

It is not romantic relationships that are an issue for me it's having long-term friends who also pass away and the older you get the harder it is to find good ones again.

@jacquelinehuggins6021 2 ай бұрын

Create a Sardinian "moai."

@worldview730 Ай бұрын

What a friend I have in Jesus, but only if one believes that?

@jillibrom702 3 ай бұрын

I'm nearly 82 years old I was 43 when my husband died .Please take care of animals you will never be lonely doge give you so much love if you can walk them you meet so many like minded people .Don't be lonely have a dog .

@marentinasimarmata1519 3 ай бұрын

Doggie make you happy all the time

@SM-te3xm 3 ай бұрын

Very true. I just retired at 62. It gets lonely sometimes, but my dog is a loyal companion.

@serenapiccinini392 3 ай бұрын

❤so true😊

@connydm729 3 ай бұрын

I would love a dog, but what to do if one has to go to a hospital for some time....??

@jennywinter3025 2 ай бұрын

You can’t tell your dog about your day or ask for an opinion or ask the dog to make you coffee etc

@chrissttiiee 3 ай бұрын

Lonely people fall victim to scammers. That should be addressed.

@williamkinkade2538 Ай бұрын

Trust no one!!!

@jmarcyful Ай бұрын

So true, the scammers have already reached out to most of these people who say they are lonely NEVER EVER give money to someone you never met

@lindalee621 3 ай бұрын

Alone but not lonely, I enjoy being alone.

@ercieberwick1513 2 ай бұрын

That's because you are an INTELLIGENT person!

@lindalee621 2 ай бұрын

@@ercieberwick1513 You are a woman full of wisdom.

@carolynek1875 Ай бұрын

Well said..I agree!

@rosaoddin4338 19 күн бұрын

I also am a loner for the most part but it gets damn lonely. You just need someone to talk with, it’s a comfort.

@kevphillips02 3 ай бұрын

Being in a relationship is seriously overrated .After years of being single I rarely get lonely .

@deborahstone9696 3 ай бұрын

I don't miss a relationship but I do miss having friends..

@lavishwhisper6753 3 ай бұрын

On-demand hugs, sharing recaps on the news, & daily 5 minute rundowns about the work day. Those are relationship gems that I miss sometimes. Otherwise, I’m a pretty darn happy single person! 😁

@kevphillips02 3 ай бұрын

@@lavishwhisper6753 There are bits I miss but on overall balance I prefer single .

@ronniemead805 3 ай бұрын

TRUTH. When I was married I felt very lonely, now I am single I dont feel lonely ever; in fact being around people drains my vital energy, so I avoid them at all costs. People need to create rich inner resources and know that we are never alone when we unite with our Creator God.

@erikayohanes1108 3 ай бұрын

@@ronniemead805 yes, true, draw near to God, I meditate and pray every day.

@gabrielletanner5339 4 ай бұрын

My husband passed a year ago 23 Jan, after looking after him for four years on my own, i've worked for thirty eight years, lost two babies. No Children. Im 70 on new years day. I've still been approached by men, not interested, always put other people first, now i can do what i like when i like. Eat when i like, or not. I enjoy my own company, i miss my husband but i'm not lonely. I campaign for animals on facebook and twitter. Love you tube, so many things to learn and i'ts company. Look after my neighbours dog when she goes out. Difficult for youngsters who dont know where they are going or what's going to happen in their lives. I went out and studied philosophy..met friends etc., i go the the local pub and have a meal, and know lots of people. Stop looking and start living for yourself..

@christinekoenig5669 3 ай бұрын

PUB?? no th you.

@mildredmorine745 3 ай бұрын

Intelligent advise !!!. I think the mistake some people make is they won't put their self's out to make their self happy, no one can do this if you are not happy within yourself, they can contribute it not another persons responsibility for another persons happiness. If people are lonely feel alone go out volunteer meet caring people who care about others not staying home feeling sorry for their self's. They could possibly meet a nice person from volunteering, you can also volunteer from home using your phone. I live alone I find happiness within my self, my greatest asset is my belief in my heavenly father threw his son Jesus, being thankful, grateful, every day because there is always people who are much worse off, help others who are in need of a helping hand helps you to take your mind of your self.

@ronniemead805 3 ай бұрын

A 70 year old lady in a pub? You are one brave lady.

@GUITARTIME2024 3 ай бұрын

Gabrielle, you should get some dating going. Don't give up on that.

@dagmarvandoren9364 3 ай бұрын

Richtig. Make ba home in your.own cage. Your skin...appreciate....you...rely on Your father. God TRINITY.. putze singe...tanze. go back into what made you...und danke.. ich bin auch einsam. A LITTLE white wein...lachen. opern...theater....fashion. sprachen.. und? Putzen. A project everyday..hura

@anglophils645 3 ай бұрын

I don't live alone. I live with my cat, Missy 😺. She's wonderful company. She almost always agrees with me. Pets are fantastic!

@williamkinkade2538 Ай бұрын

Not cats! Not really...

@user-fw6lm2bw5e Ай бұрын

@@williamkinkade2538 yes cats.. yes really 4:04

@ChickpeatheTortie Ай бұрын

Yes I've got six Hackney Moggs and I wouldn't be without them for one second.

@tedoneilclark4710 Ай бұрын

They are until they pass away 😊

@rogerlittreal642 3 ай бұрын

I'm 93.... I'm not old. Love that.🙏🌎

@suraiyamansoor9740 3 ай бұрын

Good . Be strong and happy. Don't let alone eat you

@katherinea.williams3044 Ай бұрын

You’re definitely 93 years young! Wishing you the absolute best! Love & Light from Miami Shores🦚 Stay safe mates✌🏼🌎

@sarahjones-jf4pr Ай бұрын

However upsetting lonliness is, it is nowhere near as upsetting as a toxic relationship.

@marnellkent3682 21 күн бұрын

Yes! And I believe one reason there are a lot of younger women living alone now is because they are not tolerant of toxic relationships. If they are financially secure in their own right, they are not willing to put up with abuse or even following a partner as former generations of women felt it necessary to do. Birth control has also helped these women to leave abusive relationships. I personally have not experienced the loneliness while living alone that I did when in a toxic relationship. That was so isolating!

@Dees23 3 ай бұрын

You can be around people and still feel lonely

@Theresa-lt3ki 2 ай бұрын

Very well said.

@diegobarreto8662 Ай бұрын

and judged,disrespected,used,betrayed

@gardenroom64 Ай бұрын

Couples point it out, it always comes up in conversation. Avoid couples.

@Dees23 Ай бұрын

@@gardenroom64what ? 😅

@Dees23 Ай бұрын

@@gardenroom64 🤣🤣🤣

@marilynbradley8487 3 ай бұрын

I made the mistake of announcing my loneliness on Facebook. It only drew in some negative energy. One person volunteered their friendship and she turned out to be a mean girl. I don't know what made me think that people grow out of that behavior. We are in our mid-sixties. Go figure.

@ravenraven966 3 ай бұрын

What you say is the truth Marilyn... It's just so evil....

@fumanpoo4725 3 ай бұрын

Mean people suck.

@teschchr122 3 ай бұрын

Darned, I’d thought of doing that very thing. Thought it would be a solution. I’m sorry you had such a negative experience, I guess I won’t try it.

@janinewetzler5037 3 ай бұрын

@@teschchr122 If you are not used to making boundaries, then don't reach out. But...If you can make boundaries, then by all means try reaching out in a group format. Volunteer in your age group. You will find one to click with.

@janinewetzler5037 3 ай бұрын

@@Saudade54 Use it as a way to connect with a group you can get behind to join. Then actually join that group in person. Don't rely solely on online connection. People don't know how to behave when they don't have a live person in front of them to deal with!!

@abocas 3 ай бұрын

I am often lonely in a room full of people ....

@mapachehombre1581 3 ай бұрын

Know that feeling & when you leave wondering if anyone bothers to notice, bless you

@abocas 3 ай бұрын

@@mapachehombre1581 I think many why comment here know the feeling. Bless you, too ..... 😉

@francefradetjardineslacora8114 Ай бұрын

It's a horrible feeling. It's basically realising that you mean nothing to them. That's why finding a like-minded group of people is so important. Either church or hobbies or politics group. The same core values are what unite you to others and take away that feeling of loneliness.

@howellwong11 6 ай бұрын

No problem for me. I'm a 91 year old introvert.

@petragodfrey-db9lo 3 ай бұрын

You not alone you have us ok , and God 😊😊😊😊

@rachel-rb4bp 3 ай бұрын

well done curiosity keeps me alive I have to know everything abut everything and enjoy being creative

@ronniemead805 3 ай бұрын

Me too, I am a 72 year old introvert who enjoys my own company and the company of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Being around people drains my energy.

@rachel-rb4bp 3 ай бұрын

@@ronniemead805 Yes I love God with all my heart and tell him that every day and you never feel alone do you .

@stephaniet9264 3 ай бұрын

@@rachel-rb4bp Good for you! That is a definite key to living a long life.

@stormvet3806 8 ай бұрын

“I’ve got nobody to do nothing with.”

@strongbamboo5947 3 ай бұрын

Would you like to be friends? I'm 64 years old woman and live in Berlín. Greetings 😊

@janpatterson6302 28 күн бұрын

I’ve got somebody and do nothing together. I do everything by myself

@heatherboughton5936 3 ай бұрын

I find that if ever I have told someone I was lonely, they offer solutions. Why oh why do people assume that we haven't considered things ourselves. That is why we don't share. Because people are judgemental and people have forgotten that we are all vulnerable to these things in life. Loneliness is like a physical pain but I would rather be alone, than with the wrong people.

@cynthiasammy3668 3 ай бұрын

You’re absolutely right. N I resonate with your last sentence

@ikeameltdown8012 3 ай бұрын

This is so true. People offer “advice” but no real connection.

@lesleygordon9634 3 ай бұрын

Don’t you want people to try and help you. It’s not being judgemental it’s showing concern. They don’t know what options you have considered.

@HTHTNT77 3 ай бұрын

What I tend to notice too, is that those very people who are offering solutions aren't offering to spend time with you.

@H-jb4tf 3 ай бұрын

It is human nature to be helpful. Loosen up.😊

@ireneposti6813 3 ай бұрын

My husband passed away 5. Years ago, I feel” blessed because I have such a busy life. I am involved in our church and volunteer once a week. I used to volunteer at our local hospital before Covid. I have a Maltese/ Poodle, I take her with me to Europe every Summer to visit family. All my life my destiny was to be alone I guess, I got married the first time , I was alone. I had a baby, I was alone. My parents went back to Europe before my baby was born because my mom had a problem with my sister in law and didn’t want to stay in the U S any longer. I used to feel sorry for myself but, not anymore. I have Jesus in my life and a few wonderful friends. I just turned 78, I can’t believe it because I feel like I’m in my 50’s. I don’t see my daughter and her family that often cause they don’t live near and I don’t feel like making that long trip anymore. This might be TMI, but thank you for reading it, if you do. God bless all of us living alone.🙏😘

@conniehart880 3 ай бұрын

I resonated with what you said Irene. Thank you for sharing this. God bless you 🤗

@camillabartlett9128 Ай бұрын

72 Didn’t know some of the friends I have existed Take what life has to offer and be grateful 🎊 ❤

@juanitarichards1074 2 жыл бұрын

Your pets give unconditional love and ask little n return. They don't judge you and accept you with all your quirks and eccentricities. They are always there for you.

@Sibbyym 2 жыл бұрын

They say dogs help a lot

@juanitarichards1074 2 жыл бұрын

@@Sibbyym Even my pussycat gives me lots of love and affection. I rescued him when he was abandoned as a kitten, left behind in an empty flat when the owner moved out and left him. He was underweight and very hungry. Now he is a big strong boy with a very sweet nature,

@RyelSteele 2 жыл бұрын

Until they die and leave you lonelier.

@angelaottenbreit848 2 жыл бұрын

I couldn't agree more, Juanita. I have an adorable little long-haired chihuahua and he's my best pal. Lol I sometimes refer to him as my "little antidepressant" because he's always happy which in turn makes me happy.

@SumatraIslandGirl Жыл бұрын

Couldn’t agree more. Anyway I used to live in NZ for about 11 years. Miss my kiwi whanau.

@jennyk488 3 ай бұрын

Many retired people live alone & like it & lead busy interesting enjoyable lives. It's people who are housebound who must have the hardest time

@adimeter 3 ай бұрын

You are very sensitive and in tune. Most people think about how to handle being housebound. Reading most of these comments you would think everybody is able to get around easily and make friends. I hope I find a way.

@churchofpos2279 3 ай бұрын

I am retired and love living alone. The past few years have been the best. I have no problem going out on my own, traveling, or going out to events. I can also stay home and totally have a great time.

@ronniemead805 3 ай бұрын

@@adimeter There is a way; make friends with your Creator, He will be all you need. He is more than enough.

@adimeter 3 ай бұрын

@@ronniemead805 Hi there Ronnie. I am friends with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I just want someone to run around with to dinner and the movies. Don't need that for every dinner date, but once in a while is nice. Thank you for your thoughtful and kind response.

@deekang6244 3 ай бұрын

Then invite people over. For the price of a tea bag and a few cookies, you can have an afternoon together. It doesn’t cost much to be hospitable. For Pete’s sake. Do you know how many people would be thrilled to be invited over?

@BlumpkinBeatz Жыл бұрын

I've been alone most of my life and I'm only 40.

@gbone1812 7 ай бұрын

33 and feel the same way

@gloriarangott8803 3 ай бұрын

I've also basically lived a solitary life only now I'm 84... I love my own company ❤

@BlumpkinBeatz 3 ай бұрын

@gloriarangott8803 84!!!!! God bless you for having the strength to be solo! I dunno if I could ever do that once I get to your age! 🥰

@Areli_Precious 3 ай бұрын

Familiar. I’m 44

@lizforbes8022 3 ай бұрын

U see folks count your blessings…..would u prefer being on the streets alone??

@KyleGutz 2 жыл бұрын

I haven't really learned anything from this. It just makes me infinitely more depressed.

@YiDaXaRiAs007 8 ай бұрын

Same😶😶😶

@user-vg5wm3mt4g 3 ай бұрын

Be optimistic at least there are Honest people, speaking the facts of their Life. So you are not alone in this feeling. Try calling an old friend and talk to them. It may help.

@ronniemead805 3 ай бұрын

Me too, had to mute it and go straight to the comments.

@ThePossumone 27 күн бұрын

We need a spiritual relationship with ourselves & with God & with others We just need to look in our own city to find friends & invite people to your house Find a house mate Volunteer Dont be a victim

@marigoldbeam5475 9 ай бұрын

I'm glad the divorced dad is trying to date. Our lives should not revolve around children only. They grow up and leave home. Then what?

@olliesolliethecollie5607 3 ай бұрын

The gentleman who said that he has everything materially just wants that one special person who sees him and cares genuinely for him, I truly hope he found someone special. It seems like a wonderful man and I am shocked that women in their 60s haven’t given him a chance. He’s classy, handsome and intelligent.

@3namechangezalowdevry90day7 3 ай бұрын

*35 or below. He's got that £.

@amandasherlock4035 2 ай бұрын

I felt sad for him... he's spent his life acquiring things but doesn't yet realize that he is the only person who can make himself truly happy.

@Areli_Precious 3 ай бұрын

I’m 44, divorced 7 years ago and no kids. Not too many people nearby either. I’m preparing myself to accept this as a senior citizen because all I know and I’ve known is myself. Some people have a huge family and they take them for granted. I’d do anything to see my mom and grandma again.

@Rosalie-ct8mi 3 ай бұрын

Why do you call yourself a senior citizen at 44??

@Areli_Precious 3 ай бұрын

@@Rosalie-ct8mi not yet. I’ll accept when I become. Hopefully.🙏🏻

@elainewhitelock5347 3 ай бұрын

That's the reason I moved into a block of retirement flats. With communal areas.

@nerdomega974 4 ай бұрын

The man who shared the sentiment that you can find people to do things with, but it’s a different thing to find someone to do nothing with, hit the nail on the head. Expectations of relationships tend toward what is seen in the media, but the reality is that the value in living is in the small daily details when you’re paying attention. When you’re doing what seems as nothing, something will happen. However when you’re expecting everything and nothing happens, people don’t get that that is how it goes. With younger generations I think people are genuinely bored of their phones but do not know how to otherwise interact with people like it was 20 or 30+ years ago. Dating apps suck. Talking to people at the farmers market or a local event is so much better.

@adimeter 3 ай бұрын

"Love" someone to do nothing with. Oh that is so important in my marriage of 51 years. We can be together in peaceful silence for hours.

@stormvet3806 2 жыл бұрын

These people are all so honest and brave, trying to make the best of their circumstances.

@KyleGutz 2 жыл бұрын

It's that or become even more lonely and depressed. Pitfall.

@EvelynHastings-rd1pr 3 ай бұрын

I am 70 and ok. I spend my time talking to God. He is my best friend anyway. The one I loved was emotionally abusive. I have always loved him but could not live with him. I was an only child so alone is ok with me.

@ronniemead805 3 ай бұрын

@@EvelynHastings-rd1pr The truth is, one way or the other we are all alone, so we might as well get used to it.

@nigella4me 6 ай бұрын

Living alone is the hardest thing I've EVER had to deal with, even harder than when I was in a bad marriage. Living alone is actually very painful for many people. And I can't STAND people who say, oh enjoy the alone time, find yourself, learn new hobbies, expand your sights, etc. I for one would give anything to have a wonderful man to share the rest of my life with, just to do everyday things with is better with someone else around. But at 68, I've given up dating, if I'm meant to find someone, it will happen when and how it's supposed to happen. I NEED a companion, want a companion, and want to love a companion. 💔

@lawrence1960 5 ай бұрын

I understand. But for me, I have wanted women in my life. But I never needed them.

@lyricallycorrect8249 4 ай бұрын

I feel the same way❤

@nigella4me 4 ай бұрын

@@lawrence1960 Well, the first person I fell in love with was when he said he needed me. That made my heart melt. It's nice to be needed. There's a song called I Need You, by America. He dedicated that song to me and I was in love.

@nigella4me 4 ай бұрын

@@lyricallycorrect8249 We can't give up hope, one day it will happen. Sending you love, hugs, and strength. ❤

@lyricallycorrect8249 4 ай бұрын

@@nigella4me I needed to hear that! Thank u so very much ❤️

@jekalambert9412 3 ай бұрын

As an introvert, I love spending time alone. But, too much time alone can be too much of a good thing. I've made a number of long distance moves in my life of 68 years, so I'm no stranger to making new friends. Real friendships build slowly. It's important to be willing to initiate interactions by reaching out to others with kind comments, by asking questions and by showing a genuine interest in the other person. Finding people who share your interest in an activity is a great way to start. This opens the door to deeper and more meaningful connections. When you find someone you like, don't be afraid to invite them into your life by suggesting a shared activity like meeting for lunch or inviting them into your home for a snack and conversation. If you have several people whose company you enjoy, invite all of them into your home for a pot luck. Eventually, you'll find that you're not so lonely. Edit: Make sure you have something to offer intellectually and/or emotionally. Looking for someone to unload your unhappiness onto is not the foundation of a good relationship. Pets make great companions too, but they are not a substitute for authentic human connections.

@lawrence1960 5 ай бұрын

I’m 63. Alone…and happy. Why are we so afraid of just being with ourselves/ I do keep a circle of friends.

@adimeter 3 ай бұрын

I am afraid for two reasons: 1. I am disabled; 2. Fear of the 'boogie man' was instilled in me as a child. I am getting therapy for my bad upbringing. Hopefully if I am faced with this 'alone' think, I will be prepared.

@mariapr1335 3 ай бұрын

I beg u finished a relationship that drove u crazy.

@Silversoon78910 3 ай бұрын

Having friends is not lonely

@lawrence1960 3 ай бұрын

@@Silversoon78910 unless one is an absolute hermit, then no one is truly alone.

@stephanievansluis2094 3 ай бұрын

I'm 35 and single and have lost so many friends who are busy with their own families. I've tried to tell them that it's important to keep friends around too since most of the time, divorces happen and kids move away.

@GUITARTIME2024 3 ай бұрын

Good point, but remember, their in a different chapter now. Your best bet is to make single friends and find a man.

@lovetolearn881 3 ай бұрын

Saying that to your married friends will want to make you run to get away from them. They are growing their families and you are reminding them they may get divorced? Go out and get a life and make be they will start including you again.

@stephanievansluis2094 3 ай бұрын

@@lovetolearn881 Actually, they usually agree with me and understand that having friends is important the older you get.

@stephanievansluis2094 3 ай бұрын

@@lovetolearn881 And I have a life thanks lol

@stephanievansluis2094 3 ай бұрын

@@GUITARTIME2024 True! You have to just move on. But I have older parents, and I've seen what happens as you age. They miss and talk about their friends they had when they were my age or younger all the time. Just sad to see the cycle of aging and increasing loneliness and isolation continue with every new generation.

@janebufton1960 3 ай бұрын

Loneliness affects young people too.

@dewdew34 2 жыл бұрын

Isolation causes so many issues. Heartbreaking. Sometimes "societal "advancement isn't a human being advancement...

@marionwest3661 3 ай бұрын

If you have no relatives and are not in the best of health, it’s frightening. Medical interventions keep us alive so much longer than our natural lifespan, which is a curse. Yes, the prospect is sooo depressing.

@jekalambert9412 3 ай бұрын

You have the right to refuse medical intervention.

@rhitaakhardid5792 3 ай бұрын

@@jekalambert9412easier said than done

@belindahutchinson5333 5 ай бұрын

I don't understand how people with families never invite or include lonely people in their lives. Maybe they don't see past their own lives and needs. It's all the lonely people of all ages that need to get together.

@Zayden.Marxist 4 ай бұрын

People are overworked and underpaid, there's a shortage of time, tons of stress when it comes to bills and paperwork.

@adimeter 3 ай бұрын

Yes. I have many friends from the 1950's. But they no longer include me in their family gatherings. Things changed a lot when they became grandparents. I love their kids too, but I guess since I don't have children I am not excluded.

@zsrz4877 3 ай бұрын

I’m not old, but I find that people mostly think about themselves and what’s going on with themselves. I reach out to my siblings, and I almost never get a response. But I think about them a lot, and find it strange that they don’t recognize that I care. And I find it the same with other people, too. They are involved in their own worlds. I would love to meet someone like myself who actually wouldn’t mind a conversation, a movie, or just eating a sandwich together on a sunny day, or just doing nothing together; just hanging out. But I’m never bored, Because I’m good at self entertainment.

@user-gg6lr2lc1v 7 күн бұрын

@@zsrz4877 ❤❤❤❤

@user-gg6lr2lc1v 7 күн бұрын

@@adimeter That's horrible. ❤🙏🏼

@JosannaMonik 3 ай бұрын

I don't know why people are so afraid to be alone; I love the freedom of it. I can go out whenever I want and join all kinds of groups and make friends. I wouldn't have time to be lonely.

@adimeter 3 ай бұрын

I felt the same way when I was able to get around by myself. Nothing was more delicious.

@thecook8964 3 ай бұрын

My Mother's had 27 yrs without the narcissist=peace

@m.mercedesalonsosevilla2090 3 ай бұрын

Some people can not even walk for themselves

@ronniemead805 3 ай бұрын

when you are old and sick and alone that is when the fear comes in like a tidal wave.

@mitch5222 3 ай бұрын

Cos u sleep alone, when u ill nobody is around to help. Talking to yourself is weird, etc ... Idk

@lindalinda9441 3 ай бұрын

I feel sorry for them and appalled for the ones whose families don’t take better care of them.

@pjo4622 Ай бұрын

Most of the people interviewed here are lovely. As an only child of a narcissist who preferred to ignore me when I was a child but has demanded attention daily for the past 40 years I feel that family deserve lives without constant pressure. I did not have children in order to have them look after me. My parent will be 102 this year and doesn't care a jot that my partner died at 69. Don't be appalled at people not wanting to be tied to people who might well outlive them .

@TS-rd7oy 3 ай бұрын

I've always been able to be alone. It does not frighten me and I feel bad for people who have this kind of dependence on others. We come in alone, we go out alone.

@francefradetjardineslacora8114 Ай бұрын

But we're not created to be alone. It's interdependence, not dependence.

@keedledee 3 ай бұрын

Loneliness is one of the most difficult experinces. I have been single for 23 years and my fear is growing older by myself. This documentary hits the nail on the head for me.

@MikeBrown-dk7or 3 ай бұрын

What about a dating site for lonely people of all ages?

@mariamargaritagarcia8049 2 ай бұрын

Oh dear ! That is my fear. Single for 24 years and never have been interested in dating again. Loneliness is not an easy thing to manage even if you have a lovely pet. "Friends " do not need me anymore because I do not have a place of my own...very sad, but is the truth!

@mn7024 2 ай бұрын

My greatest yearning is to stay financially comfortably independent, physically and mentally healthy enough to mobilize.

@shereewood5875 2 жыл бұрын

So understand I’m now 84 & fast loosing my health.Really unable to get out & even try to make new friends.All my old friends are now passed on!Try to stay grateful for the life I’ve had.Just truly can’t help feeling sooo lonely & yes dying alone!!!!

@cathyl8675 Жыл бұрын

I pray Jesus pulls you close and you can feel his presence. To some it may sound funny but to those whom have experienced His presence, just know.🙏

@naemasufi 3 ай бұрын

🤡

@christinekoenig5669 3 ай бұрын

Jesus desires to be our Best Friend... Showing ourselves to Bee Friendly is more imp.❤

@Prometheuspredator 3 ай бұрын

@christinekoenig5669 I agree. Making Jesus your best friend everything falls into place.

@ronniemead805 3 ай бұрын

@@Prometheuspredator AMEN. How do you make Jesus your best friend? I read and study the Word and try to meditate on the Word, and I pray to God the Father through Jesus; but I get so discouraged when I don't feel the presence of Jesus. I feel so sad inside all the time. I ask myself how come I have been a Christian for over 60 years and still I don't feel His presence. I know He is with me and will never leave me or forsake me. Should I just stop going by my feelings and just KNOW that He is with me always?

@mortechrome 2 жыл бұрын

I lost my spouse of 26 years recently and been thinking of this for many years…I have kids and I love them to bits but I don’t want to be a burden to them because I feel lonely. I don’t want to get old.

@victoriagraham6470 Жыл бұрын

How are you doing?

@Loramend Жыл бұрын

i'm sorry for your loss, hope you are doing a bit better each day

@laurieschwarzrock7724 6 ай бұрын

Hi I know I’m on 2 dating sites nothing 63 if all these guys are on there why don’t they reach out

@GUITARTIME2024 3 ай бұрын

A burden? They owe you.

@marygoodsell3602 5 ай бұрын

I wonder if loneliness is like a fungus that grows unchecked. My husband died 3 1/2 months ago, i felt my heart ripped out. Then a spot of intense loneliness. Then i went to work making small social activities that keeps loneliness at bay. So far i am doing very well, but i work at it in advance because i know how bad it can be. I think its easier to prevent than to cure.

@bron-sconcess.10 3 ай бұрын

Beautifully sage reply, ... it's easier to work on than cure.

@AhhhSukeSuke 3 ай бұрын

I hope you're feeling better. So sorry for your loss.

@katguyot6351 2 жыл бұрын

Oh nooooo. RIP sweet Dorothy. I pray that you’re not lonely anymore.

@websurfer5772 3 ай бұрын

It's wonderful for her. She got to move on and a lady like her likely went to Heaven. This place is just a test for our souls. I keep hoping I'm passing. I think learning to deal with loneliness is one of the tests actually.

@tracyobrien2066 3 ай бұрын

Love alone time, but not all the time. I became very close to myself and had no fear of loneliness. Found new interests to entertain myself and love it

@adimeter 3 ай бұрын

Are you able to get around well?

@Rosalie-ct8mi 3 ай бұрын

Same here, I like my time alone, but not all the time. I can enjoy myself, but would love to have a couple of friends who love to talk and have a cup of coffee with....most people are too busy and self absorbed

@nathananderson8720 6 ай бұрын

This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my KZfaq channel 8 months ago about self development. Now I have 977 subs and > 800 hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I could haven’t learned without getting started in the 1st place.

@catherineelainebaxter4609 3 ай бұрын

Richard will not remain alone. He is a lovely gentle man, and he deserves happiness again. The right woman will come in for him. There are a lot of lonely ladies in the UK, or even in another country who would be only too happy to meet him. ‘Stay strong Richard. You have a lot to offer.’

@auntyshakira747 3 ай бұрын

Be great if they did a follow up Documentary and interview everyone again and see how they are doing. I pray that they are all doing well ❤❤❤

@diapricea4888 3 ай бұрын

That'd be great.

@Leona000 2 жыл бұрын

I love the elderly ❤

@michellehitt1976 2 жыл бұрын

Me to, they have so much wisdom to share. If we will take the time to listen.

@rustyrussell3211 Жыл бұрын

Bless you

@cathyl8675 Жыл бұрын

Me too! The wisdom and kindness is harder to find in younger people now.

@websurfer5772 3 ай бұрын

@@cathyl8675 I find plenty of wise, kind, younger people to follow on YT. I don't think good qualities are an age thing, I think it has to do more with personality and shared interests and viewpoints.

@cathyl8675 3 ай бұрын

@@websurfer5772 I can understand that.

@sisterdiggins 3 ай бұрын

I truly enjoy my own company , but I get pretty sick of myself sometimes.

@CrudupZopf-ns4dr 4 ай бұрын

I'm retired never get lonely live in a good size one bedroom Unit instead of a big lonely house gazing out the window makes the house look lonely

@sacha3910 3 ай бұрын

This documentary shows the best and worst of what it is to be human.

@limolnar 4 ай бұрын

As someone who works in social service I see this every day and it's important to remember as well that there are people who really care. Start small: be around others, even if you don't talk to them. It's important just to be around community and people just like you.

@Rosalie-ct8mi 3 ай бұрын

Be around others even if you do not talk to them? The talking is the point, why shall I be around others and not talk to them? I am by myself the whole day and I love talking to people who are on the same wavelength, spiritually, emotionally, mentally!

@chrissttiiee 3 ай бұрын

The secret to happiness is being content.

@Goodkidjr43 3 ай бұрын

The secret to happiness is being content in ALL circumstances. The Book of Philippians in the Bible is saturated with reality concerning everyday living. God bless

@lilliansperlingmadsen4662 3 ай бұрын

Im alone , and I love it.. sending Love and Light to all who are sade .

@PTL77 3 ай бұрын

Keeping ourselves reasonably fit and active would overcome many negative feelings including loneliness. Do not be discouraged or give up because waking up to another day on earth is a gift.

@RyelSteele 2 жыл бұрын

I'm 46, divorced, and dying. My partner left and divorced me when he realized he wanted to build a life of fantasy instead of reality. (Hint: never get involved with a narcissist) I'm better off without him, but in other ways I'm living very high risk. Since he abandoned me, I've become more disabled and really cannot live independently. I'm dying from a failing liver. I fully expect to die alone, unloved, found when my landlord calls to collect late rent. How long I'll lay there rotting in the Arizona heat is yet to be seen. I hope there isn't a life after death because I'd hate to see how decayed I'll be before someone finds me and disposes my remains. My ex husband won't talk to me for any reason, didn't even bother to show up to terminate our marriage. My youngest brother was dead for days or weeks when he was found. He was 35 when he died. I don't think I deserve a long life, much less deserve to live much longer. I just don't want to die badly.

@thecook8964 Жыл бұрын

So sorry❤️

@EYE_GOTCHA Жыл бұрын

@Kyle Zen Patriot Nicholas Oh Kyle, I am so sorry. I wish that I lived near you, but I am way over in New England. Sending you a big 🤗

@patriciaeleponga5523 Жыл бұрын

Hang in there

@jdmmama7149 Жыл бұрын

I hope you’re at peace at the end

@elizabethwiliams4473 Жыл бұрын

Hi Kyle so sorry you are alone and suffering. Jesus spoke of the dead as "sleeping". After death when we are resurrected we will feel like we have just woken up from a short nap. There will be friends around us who we know who also have been resurrected, so you won't be lonely. God a has wonderful future for us, no more sickness no more death. Rev.21:1-4. If you want someone to talk to you, next time a Jehovah's Witness sends you a letter write back and ask for a visit. They can kindly show you from the bible what's God's loving purpose is for us all.

@lindalinda9441 3 ай бұрын

And to the lady that says no one needs her.. I need her.. we need addresses to write her/them or leave them messages ❤❤❤

@georginamahoney649 3 ай бұрын

God bless the lovely NZ lady who helps with the tea parties this brings everyone together ❤ she’s an angel.

@AndyMangele 3 ай бұрын

It would scare me a lot more if I had to deal with people all the time.

@mildredmorine745 3 ай бұрын

We are living in a world of abandonment for one reason or another, starts with parents working leaving babies with baby sitter so it starts from a baby, then the teachers spend more time with the small child than the parent. Parents sometimes work away from home only one parent most of the time. Children don't have extended family, neighbours like they use to. People don't socialize like they use to. We are told in the scriptures that people will become lovers of their self, that is the life we are living now. Complete strangers sometimes show more compassion, consideration, love than family members, it is the time we are living in, not that it is right.

@lisabuckner243 3 ай бұрын

To all the people saying they’re happy being alone, we’re a social species! We’re NOT designed to be alone! 🙏

@earltaylor6071 3 ай бұрын

We are social creatures in degrees.

@Katie-sj6vp 3 ай бұрын

I am 60 years old with a partner. Am afraid of him dying and leaving me alone. We have no children. Who will take care of me?? It is my constant fear. Many of our friends are already passing away...so scared.

@lynnemanning9553 3 ай бұрын

Wow, so your husband has been taking care of you your whole life? I think a big lesson in life, is at some point, you learn to make yourself happy, take care of yourself. Some people have been doing it for a long time...

@LemonThyme1933 Ай бұрын

Children are no guarantee of being cared for, or having company. I gave birth to 3 sons, but only have one, now. He is very busy with his life.

@frederickmuhlbauer9477 Ай бұрын

@@LemonThyme1933 parental alienation is epidemic as well in the USA anyway

@francefradetjardineslacora8114 Ай бұрын

@@lynnemanning9553 And this lady took care of him. Is there a problem with that? You making yourself happy is the most deluded thinking ever. We are social creatures and need the touch and the affection of other human beings to thrive. Lack of physical touch is related to depression. Saying that a person is a self-sufficient island is simply untrue.

@sarahpinho1114 3 ай бұрын

I understand this. Humans are social creatures by nature. Aside from this, being loved is also a need.

@babawawa1953 3 ай бұрын

It’s been 10 years & I still dread going to bed alone and, yes, having that person to do nothing with is what I miss tremendously.

@suraiyamansoor9740 3 ай бұрын

I love sleeping alone on my bed. I hv peace

@user-xi9kx6sq5s 3 ай бұрын

Great documentary. Very honest about the reality of modern life. I hope Ian will get the mental health help he needs to function in society as there is much he could contribute to society.

@olgaalexander5856 3 ай бұрын

I wish the interviewer had talked about what to do to prevent some of the loneliness; being in a relationship is no guarantee. I do dread being old and alone or lonely and wonder if my stamina or interests will sustain me!

@loveonly000 3 ай бұрын

I feel sad for people who are lonely and its something I worry about as I get older. But one thing i find is that if we reach out to others who feel sad, we half our problem and the more we reach out, the more diluted problems become ❤

@iluvKingJesus 3 ай бұрын

Rip Dorothy, I hope you are with the Father and your beloved husband now. ❤

@beckyparker1532 3 ай бұрын

I'm 69 and love living alone. The best time in my life!

@vickimarlene4905 3 ай бұрын

I’m with Olive. I’m afraid of dying alone. My family don’t care. I had a new friend and she dumped me. No idea what I said or did. I had to move house. So much stress and expense. I’m very alone now and feel it. I’ve never had trouble being on my own before but since moving I’ve started feeling lonely. I’m not good with other people. I don’t trust anyone, not even my family. I do have pets which is a god send. By the way Dorothy was so beautiful as a young lady. Bless her. I would have visited Dorothy. I’m devastated to know she died alone.

@adimeter 3 ай бұрын

Just a small suggestion - maybe therapy would help you to gradually think more positively. Maybe you would become more trusting. How does that sound to you?

@vickimarlene4905 3 ай бұрын

@@adimeter I have become a hermit. I need to get out more and mix with people. Trouble is I don’t really like people. I prefer animals. My own family have created my trust issues. My own children even. I appreciate your input and I haven’t taken offence because you’ve said it in a nice way. I was so happy I’d made a new friend but even she dumped me. No idea why. I’m not chasing her. She knows where I live. I can choose who I have in my life and I don’t want people who continually hurt me. I do need to get out more though. I don’t go anywhere. That’s my fault. No one else’s.

@virginiasummer2619 3 ай бұрын

I’m a widow now, 65, living far from all my family. I work two part time jobs both of which I enjoy. It forces me to go out. Otherwise, I’d just stay in as I’m really a homebody. I wonder if you have considered volunteering at the animal shelter? The types of people you meet in volunteering could be nice.

@rockingredpoppy9119 3 ай бұрын

@@vickimarlene4905 You're living my life. Take care.

@sandponics 3 ай бұрын

If people did not spend so much time staring at their mobile phones, and instead went out and talked to people then they would not be so lonely.

@QuintessentialJenesequa 3 ай бұрын

Yes, but most people don't want in person contact. They'd rather text then talk. And they're so busy most seem to not want new friends. You can put down the phone but most won't. And it becomes better than nothing. Some, like me, are disabled and so things are very difficult.

@glee8133 3 ай бұрын

Would love to meet Richard.

@delftfietser 7 сағат бұрын

Maybe people need to build reasons for initiating conversation with any person who is on the phone. It is intimidating because it is or seems that it is interference with a person. At the same time everything on the phone is either real life and world from a distant elsewhere or it is virtual and an imitation. The real life that is in front of you i think has authority and affect over you in a way that phoneworld does not. Like how the weather constantly affects us because we choose to be indoors or out, while the weather is what it will be. Maybe I could summon the courage to ask the phoneworlder "what's so interesting in (their) world right now?" I risk offense because it breaks the spell. Yet phoneworld only had any power at because it is founded on real world and especially its unavoidable immediacy. Seeing that all of us are part of the real world, mayhaps that's all the reason and enough authority to interject ourselves. Before the internet connected smartphone, you might ask the person sitting alone what they were reading or how was that lunch they were eating. Has the phone really changed that reality? Maybe it's just a cultural convention that needs to be bent a little every now and then. " A penny for your thoughts," was the old expression. Maybe that saying matters more now than it ever did.

@mariapr1335 3 ай бұрын

If you need a friend Im here!😊

@carinwiseman4309 3 ай бұрын

I have often wondered why children and grandchildren have no interest in really knowing those who love them and are a part of them DNA wise. I think that you need to teach them empathy for others from a young age.if you haven't taken the time to do that, it will come back to bite you.

@frederickmuhlbauer9477 Ай бұрын

I didn’t and it DID

@manbtm1 4 ай бұрын

We live in a society that is increasingly encouraging us to not be social, do not interact on a human level, but rather to rely on computers, cell phones, and other indirect methods of communication that quite frankly just don’t do it. Many of us, like to be alone, myself included. I really enjoy my own company, however, I always make sure that I connect personally with people I care about in my life. People are the best investment you can make in your life. Never rely on just one person in your life to make your life for you. Love yourself and others will love you.

@janinewetzler5037 3 ай бұрын

That's not true at all. We just over estimated how much we actually need live interaction with another human being! being on camera online is not the same.

@lily_m3538 8 ай бұрын

How can Olive's family be so callous! Perhaps Ian should move in with his mother while he undergoes treatment.

@1RoseLia1 3 ай бұрын

The lovely 100 yo is gorgeous! I wish i lived closer i would visit with her. I wish i had grandparents.

@kcw7649 2 ай бұрын

Grandparents are the best!

@williamkinkade2538 Ай бұрын

Sometimes alone is better!

@blbrightlights564 3 ай бұрын

Having a dog can be a great way of meeting people.a good ice breaker,to keep fit and plus you get a best friend.

@lanamuir9352 2 ай бұрын

I have lived alone for 40 years and have have not experienced loneliness and I'm an extravert! I enjoy my own company and have many lovely friends for companionship. Add one dog and two cats and this is my heaven. I did not raise a family (no regrets there) as I never met the right man to have children with. I'm 72 now and can't imagine anyone harshing my mellow.

@bluecollarlit 2 ай бұрын

No one "harshing your mellow" - I am going to have to remember that phrase!

@natalialopes719 2 ай бұрын

Loneliness has nothing to do with being alone. I have been married twice. The first marriage, I discovered extreme loneliness in a mate that had no interest in me. I will never forget that feeling I was with someone, but I was extremely lonely. The second marriage was bad as well, and I have discovered that I am better alone making my own life. I am not lonely. The only time I feel lonely is when I’m at a wedding or in a crowd when everyone is coupled up and I am not and people seem to feel sorry for me. But I know that a lot of those couples seem very happy, but they are not.

@Lela.Vranjanka 3 ай бұрын

Put God first and you' ll never be lonely💙

@richardhanley4279 3 ай бұрын

Agree Halellujah ❤❤❤

@ikeameltdown8012 3 ай бұрын

Nopr.

@user-qs9lt8so9c 3 ай бұрын

Absolutely true❤

@lindalenhard931 2 ай бұрын

Religion is not for everyone

@chetyoubetya8565 2 ай бұрын

Rubbish. I don't recall the last time God and I went out to a shop or to see a film.

@wendycarstens8185 3 ай бұрын

I'm sorry but I'm not so sorry being alone because I have Jesus by my side , and my dog Cuddles too That's enough for me ❤

@TSquared2001 3 ай бұрын

This is tough to view as it's a reality for many.

@brendadavis5391 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for showing this video. I'm learning so much about myself and how to change. Thank you so much. I am so grateful.

@samanthalake5011 2 ай бұрын

People are lonely due to FOMO. Fear Of Missing Out. Mind your business and stay in your lane. I promise you'll enjoy your life better. There, advice of today. ❤

@margaretgreene1929 3 ай бұрын

I can barely manage to watch this. What are Olive's children doing? Are they dead? Could someone not visit her? Shame on her family. Where are the folks who sent the birthday cards? I am 79 myself, my husband is still with me and can still get out and about. I do not want to live so long.

@frederickmuhlbauer9477 Ай бұрын

79 wow you’ve lived a VERY long time God bless

@hulamei3117 3 ай бұрын

I was very afraid that I'd be alone in my senior years. I worried about this during my 30s, 40s, 50s up until age 63. I'm living alone since age 62, I'm 69 now, soon to be 70. I'm no longer afraid about living alone, as in no life partner. I would like to spend more time with my children and grandchild, but other than them, I'm quite content.

@Chahlie 3 ай бұрын

Being alone can be wonderful, especially if one has had the forethought to save some money. To be able to simply live in peace and happiness. One can do charity work or such if they really need to be amongst people. The freedom and peace from living alone is amazing, but it's definitely dependent on being able to go out when you want and to hire the appropriate people when needed. So youngsters, save some money for your old age, please! Much of it hinges on self esteem and ability to communicate :(

@elizabethmchenry3102 2 ай бұрын

Bless her sweet heart . She is 100. I wish I was there with her. I would help her and keep her company.

@katalinhorvath8139 2 ай бұрын

Thank you to all in this documentary. You are very brave people!

@jenrich111 3 ай бұрын

My female doc says when women get to 70 they are ok with it. That feeling comes and goes. Get on with chores and hobbies ❤ Cry then move on. All feelings come and go... ride the wave just bobbing up n down. I always thank God I am not in a relationship - with the fighting and unmet needs and unresolved conflicts😢 Yes indeed that cheers me up and wakes me up out of the wallowing. Youth feel really lonely - i feel for them❤