Don’t miss the message, thinking it’s about Kim K, it’s not, it’s about YOU…and me 🙂 HIT THE LIKE BUTTON ❤️

"You're too pretty to be this crazy" is what my internal thoughts have been telling me. I should not be chasing after men who can't see my worth. I should be rejecting them

Nah, I think she handles herself well. She just doesn't want us to watch her being vulnerable, she will save that for her close family. Her vulnerabilities are not for our entertainment.

Being emotionally unavailable can show up in friendships and everywhere else in your life

What you are describing is Fearful avoidant attachment style . The emotional unavailability but wanting the relationship. It usually stems from trauma around relationships. I highly recommend the Personal Development school to learn how to overcome this! It’s really great

This is why I think Kim doesn't want a therapist - the same way you don't want one that knows you - she's probably experienced so much of people trying to use her that she doesn't trust anyone anymore. So although it is a shame, I do understand why she is the way she is.

Also, you can become emotionally unavailable in friendships too. Made to hide your feelings because your friends don’t know how to have honest conversations. I had so many instances where I had to hide my true feelings because I would be judged or lose friends. That dynamic can bleed into your other relationships as well. The last guy I dated was emotionally available and I was not. He was so sweet and put in effort but I was incredibly distrusting and guarded. He comes to mind often, not because I want him back (although that would be nice😊) but I guess as a reminder to keep working on becoming emotionally available so I don’t miss out on anyone amazing.

30:24 yup that's me, I left him in Feb last year. Its absolutely horrible being close to someone and never knowing who they really even were. I was open and authentic, he couldn't handle it. He was insecure, unhealthy, paranoid and cold. And since the break up the Lord has helped me become the happiest I ever have been. Emotionally unavailable people can destroy your self esteem, please see the red flags and don't date them. I became emotionally unavailable after the break up but I was very aware of it and chose to purposefully distance from men until I recovered. I didn't wanna hurt anyone :)

We all at some point get emotionally unavailable specially when we are living in a society where people doesn’t seem to be emotionally available anymore unfortunately 🥺

I’m crying 😭 literally crying!! It’s me! I am emotionally unavailable 😢 this makes sense. Especially around other females too. My guard is so high up and God knows I AM TRYING to heal and loosen up 😢 this video was right on time and so crazy how lately I’ve been obsessed with trying to work on myself and emotions this comes up! Thank you ❤

Breenyyyyyy! How do you always know what to say and WHEN to say it? I swear it’s like you speak directly to every phase I am in my life. The more I peel back the layers, the more I grow as a person and the more I require in regards to love! Self love and otherwise! Much Love Breeny & Friends ❤

Being emotionally unavailable is usually so deep rooted in trauma! and overcoming it is not easy and it takes time , i’ve been through it and it took a couple years for me for it to really hit home… and for me to become emotionally available. that was cause i’d worked so hard on myself, self worth , finding out who i am… it’s not as easy as just being more vulnerable our minds are so strong and our hearts stronger we have to learn to feel safe within ourselves and love ourselves and know our self worth to really become authentic and start to attract the right ones . Life will also throw tests along the way to see your progress… if you can do therapy please do it! , watch and listen to professional psychologist to really understand this topic. Wish all luck in your journeys to freedom from trauma finding your authentic self!!! please take non professionals opinions with a pinch of salt! including my own…

We absolutely attract reflections of ourselves. Low self-esteem attracts low self-esteem e.g. narcissists and codependents. Both have low self esteem but it plays out differently. Absolutely common but yes, not healthy, and healing works. Highly recommend people look into inner-child healing, attachment styles, and father-wound healing. 💖Big love to all of us on our journeys.

I've always worked on myself, but the past year taught me the hard way about what happens when you don't acknowledge and show your emotions not only to others, but to yourself.. I have been kinda amazed about how I unconsciously used to be so on standoffish, and how I would harden my body, facial expressions etc to make extremely clear that YOU.SHOULD.NOT.COME.CLOSE. I've always known deep inside that I have so much beauty inside me, but honestly.. I feel like I have just been so besides myself for my whole life up until now that I just do not know how to make my authentic self and feelings the center of my being and get all that beauty to show through.. (I know that sounds weird but it's true) I really try to soften myself and show my emotions more and I immediately notice that the responses of people around me changes, not because they were never willing to, but I never let them in.. but I know that I still only show the tip of the ice berg.. I really want to transform that.. Thank you for being so open I feel you! much love

literally been watching you since I was 15, now 19 thanks for the advice and guidance your like an internet big sister.

Wow Breeny you made me seriously self reflect. I’ve been the emotionally unavailable one. When guys try to be emotional available to me and asking me to be vulnerable with my feelings I start to get angry and shut down.

This is spot on. God put on my heart about a year before I met my husband that I needed to work on my emotional availability. I got that word not even connected to getting a husband, but just being a part of my own healing. As a result of doing at work, when I eventually did meet my husband, his emotional availability was so refreshing, and we connected by both being vulnerable together. The healing is necessary both for future coupling and also for just being yourself in a healthy place.

I'll admit that this past year I discovered that I was emotionally unavailable. That combined with attempting to entertain an unhealthy connection really ran me into the ground and wrecked emotionally/ physically.

I didn`t even finish watching this but the first few minutes already told me, that she is speaking facts. Facts everybody needs to hear. Plus she has gorgeous hair! Really beautiful

Years ago I read an article where she explained why they talk slow! Her and her sisters. She said when they were kids her mom never rushed them to talk, so they learned to take their time talking no matter who gets impatient. They just talk slower! Lol

Hmmm. I don’t necessarily agree. The truth is, the world isn’t sunshine, butterflies and bubblegum. The sad truth that being emotionally available is DANGEROUS. This is why women are so easily manipulated and all feeling and hurt deeply. Deep emotion feelings is the easiest way to become a victim. Sorry not sorry. I’m a realist.

You are just rumbling Life is not One Size fits All! 😂

This one hit home really quick. The past few months I also realised that I am emotional unavailable and as you said it takes a good amount of rationality and strength to admit it. I hope I can meet the right person when I become emotionally available as I’m doing what I can to sort my ‘issues’ out. So to all ladies who are going through it, I’m praying you can get healed and see how amazing and beautiful you are just by being yourselves. Thank you Breeny ❤

your vulnerability is helping a lot of us heal. Thank you!!!

People, we’re not perfect. Stop picking apart yourself as far as how you relate as a human being. If a person (dream partner) fxcks with you - trust they will see past your faults. Yall be safe out there. Focus on your journey, the universe always brings the right connection to you ❤ The idea of “being emotionally unavailability” makes no sense. We have relationships built on emotional currency, people just don’t know themselves, know how to communicate, listen and over complicate the very basic essence of being human - relating. We all relate on diff levels. Yall please read & apply 7 HABITS of HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE - and you’ll be fine.

Girl your speaking directly to me! The strong one in every situation; the one everyone takes for granted that I’ll always pick up the pieces for everyone else. I’ve stopped feeling.

I feel this is for every type of relationship for me (Work relationship, community, friends and family). Thank you Breeny for speaking on this topic and helping me realize this about myself during my healing journey.

The beginning preview gave me my aha moment! Literally I feel like I came out of this season and I see such a difference; from the rigidity and everything. When you’re emotionally available you simply state how you feel and you can easily state why you feel that way without any need for validation or acceptance of your feelings. You’re simply free flowing, open, and lighter. This transparency alone is healing, to help open our eyes. Thank you Breeny!

Realizing that I was emotionally unavailable in my last relationship was the hardest pill to swallow. That relationship wrecked me and I am still healing from the trauma it caused but it opened my eyes to the much needed healing. I never want to feel that pain again. Everything you describe about the emotionally unavailable woman resonated with me. I was the poster child for this. It took me becoming a mother and ending a toxic relationship to understand that I needed to heal so I wouldn't pass the same trauma onto my daughter. In the past year I've been more emotionally available than I have my entire life. Therapy is a great place to start you won't regret it. Thank you for sharing this video it's going to help a lot of people ❤❤❤

Breeny, I notice how sensitive you’ve become over the years, especially to yourself. It’s very beautiful to see ❤

This video is timely, thank you Breeny. The whole of last month I was healing and changing the parts of me that made me emotionally unavailable & caused avoidance attachment. I am now in a happy place.💜

I feel this. I find myself being the same way even though I desire marriage. I feel the wall. I just feel scared to open my heart to someone after an abusive relationship… it’s been 3+ years.

This video made me cry. Breezy, thank you so much for talking about this. I’ve been emotionally unavailable since I was a child and many people have complimented my calmness and strength but deep down it’s a defense mechanism. I’ve learned that remaining calm in chaos is actually me shutting down emotionally. I’m healing in this area and learning how to acknowledge how I feel and voice my feelings more often. But I’m also learning that I can’t be vulnerable with everyone. It takes another emotionally available person to receive my emotions well in my vulnerable moments.

Definitely resonated with me. For the past several years since my divorce; I have been a stone as far as my emotions go. Going through the motions with men and not really revealing my true self. It became way too heavy towards the middle of this past year and this year I promised myself to be more present, and process my emotions and be more open. With my friends, children and any man I decide to date. Trusting myself and honoring my feelings is a big part of this journey as is journaling. This was a good video. Thanks for sharing and being more open. I have seen your growth over the past several years and a lot of women can identify with this. Also wanted to ask where your outfit is from in this video. It is super cute. 🥰

Thank you for being so sensitive and transparent. This video resonates with me so much; it opened my eyes to my own responsibility in the dynamic i'm trying to leave behind. And wow, do I have work to do! :)

Really love how authentic you are and how real this video is thank you x

Breeny this was so good. On point! I recently dealt with an avoidant and it really affected me badly. They are extremely unavailable. I do have signs of emotional unavailability too but acknowledge that a person I dealt with last year helped me heal a little. He was secure and let me tell you those people love amazingly. I am striving to shift to a more secure attachment style as well as working on healing to enhance my emotional availability.

Thank you for your vulnerability. I’ve rewatched this video twice already, and I see so much of myself in the things you are saying. Feeling emotionally numb is like living in a self inflicted prison, because you never truly feel seen or loved by anyone around you. This video is life changing

Girl, childhood traumas made us that way lol. We are ‘cold’ but that’s okay, we should give ourselves a break. Ofc it has some side effects but a lot of benefits. Therapy is not going to fix this unfortunately you have to do it yourself. And this western society thinks everything is a red flag. It doesn’t mean we’re bad people, we have the biggest hearts but it’s just takes time. My man warmed me up and it was not easy lol it will always work out with the right one. Never think you’re ‘crazy’. You’re just human.

I love you, Breeny Lee ~ please keep going on healing videos. You are helping many people like me who are having a hard time returning to themselves and finding their true selves! LOVE YOU

Thank you so much breeny, imagine how many women are going through this with no one too relate too or talk too and you just come and shine your light You’re truly a gem, Grateful for you!

I appreciate your vulnerability in this video. I’m proud of you for developing that self awareness. It takes time and comes in layers. I found myself in this place recently. I have been in therapy for 4 years now. I was in a relationship for almost 3 years recently and it was definitely a trauma bond. So I started therapy right before getting into that relationship which helped me learn about attachment styles, resolving conflicts, being more vulnerable, etc.. It was a blessing to know what was going on but a struggle because he wasn’t in therapy and wasn’t receptive to the new strategies I was trying to implement or learning from my new vulnerability and accountability. So that left me stagnant in my “emotion maturity” growth because I seen no resolution. That lead me to blame him and I became hyper focused on how emotionally unavailable HE was and all the things he was doing wrong. We split up because he didn’t want to “do the work” and go to couples therapy or seek his own therapy. I just couldn’t be with someone who didn’t want to grow emotionally since I’m working hard on doing the work myself. But coming out of that relationship I decided that I needed a break from dating/sex/talking/texting to focus on myself and bettering myself so I won’t end up in that situation again because it’s been pattern. After just a month of no contact with my ex, no social media (posting pics for attention), no reaching out to old lovers, no dating, no getting numbers, etc, I’ve realized that I was so emotionally unavailable for MANY years. I started seeing all the things I did to get validation from the opposite sex but never was truly vulnerable and never really looking to have a genuine connection I just wanted someone to make me “feel good.” I wanted someone to make me feel loved because I clearly didn’t love myself. It was another layer of self awareness that I unlocked and now can’t unsee. I thought that just because I took care of my appearance and always looked good or ate right, worked out, cared about my house etc, that I loved myself. But that is further than the truth! It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable and emotionally mature and available. I feel like 85% of people don’t have the self awareness to see it and just blame the other person. You get what you DESERVE. If you entertain emotionally unavailable men it’s because you ARE ASWELL. If you find yourself in that situation that you notice your partner is emotionally unavailable then that is a sign to take a look within. Take a break from dating and start learning/loving yourself more. It’s a journey.

you have no idea how much I have changed and grown since I started following you this last summer, thank you so much for this amazing content, your videos just touch the spot every time, please know that you are inspiring and saving a lot of hearts here ❤❤❤❤❤

Needed this! I recently accepted the fact that I am definitely emotionally available it's kinda daunting to unpack but I'm willing to do the work!!💪 I really want to be able to receive and reciprocate in beautiful relationships with the people I have in my life and MYSELF .. This was so good ! Thanks for the video ❤

I was asking myself out of frustration one day why I attract emotional unavailable men, and it dawn on me that I was myself, and I realized it was a defense mechanism. I do want to change but I really don’t know how too. It’s become part of me. I’m so glad that you decided to post this at this time.

You should have MORE than a million subscribers!! Your talks are GOLD for both men and women!

Big hug- it's great to see you taking another's experience and reflecting on your own journey, and throughout clearly embrace the whole process with love. It's so great to see you share your own healing journey and not make it as if you're an expert in it all. Personally, I realise the path to being open emotionally again is : 1) work on your self-love 2) learn to read/ understand people especially their intentions (actions speak louder than words)- that way you trust yourself fully on allowing only the right energy into your life Healthy emotional availability is about knowing with who you can be open with and who you don't xxx

Hey Breeny, I just want thank you because personally you help me become so self aware, your videos are like therapy sessions for me. You are such a blessing. So much love From Kenya🇰🇪

oh my god! Listening to you made me realize a habit of mine that I wasn't aware of. I had a flashback of how I was 12 years ago and what made me shut down my emotions. You gave me shivers as I could sooo much relate to what you mentioned. Especially when you mentioned getting ourselves absorbed by temporary pleasures to seal the pain away and not face it. I realize now why I was surrounded with emotionally unavailable people and I became one as a result of it, thus attracted the same energy with the new people I met. I can't thank you enough for this!! As someone who is working onto defining a new me, I believe this was God's away to show me that it is time to also work on being vulnerable and processing my emotions instead of running away from it. Since I was 17, I took an oath to change how I view the world and how I treat myself. There is no better way to create a better environment than starting with ourselves first. I stand proudly today to say I've become a very positive, cheerful, hopeful, passionate and ambitious 26 years old female. When we respect, value, and honor our truth, we create an extraordinary life that is more than what we desired to manifest. I finish my comment with gratitude. I am grateful to Allah, to you, and to me who continuously look for ways to grow out of old habits and mindsets that do not serve me no more. May God guide us to the ultimate truth, and to be better humans that leave a legacy that is worth mentioning and that is heartwarming to the people we leave to continue living on this earth.

I am so thankful for your videos. I’ve been watching them for several years, and I appreciate how honestly you speak about your growth. It helps us tune into our own truth and struggles as well 💗💗

I am truly grateful for your wisdom Breeny, this video came at the perfect moment. Fear and love can’t coexist.✨ God bless you🫶🏻

Breeny the minute I clicked on this video I knew you was gonna hit the nail on the head. 40 seconds in and you hit every nail on the head.

Thank you for not mincing your words it's said " honesty is the best policy " 🙌🏾✨️

Thank you Breeny!!! I always find so much value & truth in your videos🤍 You are so wise & inspiring! God Bless You!!🙏🏼

side note : your make up Breeny it’s STUNNING!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 this whole look ate left no crumbs

Thank you so much for this video, it's the best I've seen in a long time ! I can finally put my finger on a problem. Sometimes it's hard to admit that we have some responsibility in what happens to us, and sometimes it is so unconscious ! It resonates to Paris !

You did an great job explaining emotional unavailability 💕

Thank you Breeny 🙏I can so relate to you as recently hurt after break up from a toxic relationship. I am looking forward to attending your Vision Party this Saturday 😊x

This video is 1000% true. I thinks it’s very important that Breeny mentions that’s emotionally unavailability doesn’t only stem from romantic but also from childhood traumas. It’s extremely important to heal and focus on self love. Vulnerability is strength. So when the right person comes along, we aren’t self destructive. ❤

Gurl the hair is giving 😍

Thanks Bree, this has been one of those self reflective videos, I see how a lot of what you've mentioned applies to me. Ibr it's not that easy to just hop skip into a free flowing dynamic when you're mostly stubborn, escp with things like love, tht stuff burns and it feels easier a lot of the time to brush it off. Sometimes love isn't everything. Sanity is. Emotions are fleeting and sometimes we shouldn't feel the need to feel it all, it can be unnecessary.

This video was so fantastic! We need more of these analysis videos… they are so dead on!

So proud of your consistency and growth Breeny, truly inspiring

Breeny you are telling FACTS here. This is absolutely true I believe that this is what is going right now we are all scared of each other and not being truthful for others or to ourselves. I love your videos Breeny 🔝💯😍🫶

I can honestly say the last two men o dated were emotionally available and they both were in therapy. So there are people trying to work through it. I’ve tried to be cold and shut off but i always end up breaking down with emotion.

The way you explained my entire dating experiences for the past two years. You are such a goddess! Thank you for this coaching lesson

You are so right! Thank you for your honesty and checking us in love 💗

Can we talk about how gorgeous you look!! And the hair BAYYYBEEE 😮‍💨😮‍💨🔥🔥. Thanks for this message because I was hurt emotionally by my ex and I did not realise that until late last year early this year.

I had to come to this conclusion recently and it shattered my ego. I had a very traumatic breakup a few years ago and I thought forgiveness meant I had healed, until I noticed the type of men I was attracted to(tragic lol). I'm taking a break from dating until I feel faithful enough in the possibility of the type of love that I can be whole in. I'm learning that if I say I want something, I need to prepare for it, believe it's possible, and feel worthy or receiving it. This period is my active waiting period while I prepare for everything I want and deserve. Thank you for always being candid and making this space for us woman be unashamed

I felt like this was just what i needed to hear.. i know it since a while..time to take action and learn to be softer .. open and not allways the strong one for everyvody else.. thank you!

This was deep. I can relate. When you feel as if your in a safe environment, breathe & remind yourself its okay to express.

Setting myself free in 2023 ✨️

You're preaching from beginning to end of this video. I simply just loved the message and I can relate to everything you said 💯🎯❤❤❤👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Im follwing you for a few years now, and i know to say that this isyour best authentic episode in all times!!!!

Whew that last part. Hugging my inner child crying herself to sleep ❤️

Just a message to say that I really love your makeup on this video. It looks natural. And the hairstyle is stunning too. You look so beautiful! 🥰

I found myself tearing up towards the end of this! A massive eye opener. I definitely felt so seen watching this and at the same time kinda annoyed thinking Breeny, why you calling us out like this ha! Feeling inspired to do some self reflection because unfortunately, this is me.

Omgg Breeny this is spot on 😭. You really hit the nail

Who needs therapy when we have a Breeny!! Girl you said the thing here. Thank you!

Thank you for this real content, you’re like a big sister to me. Love from Kansas, USA ❤

This was 💥💯💥 So relevant for so many

Hi Breeny! I find it difficult to put my guard down because most men I meet put no energy into the relationship and expect me to be super caring and happy around them when they are cold and dismissive. I do not want to be a cold person but it feels vain and discouraging to give effort with people like that.

This is the 2nd video of yours that I've watched today and I swear you keep speaking to me directly. Thank you sis❤

Wow Breeny!! Thank you for this. I needed to hear this. God bless you! 🤗

You're amazing the way articulate your feelings.. and yep she's definitely extraaa

this video is so important

i love u for making this video, it seriously never came to my mind that i also might be emotional unavailable and now knowing it is honestly kinda scary to me

Such an amazing video. Thank you for sharing and be honest and real about your emotions and experience is refreshing. Thank you

Woo you nailed it! So transparent, I can relate to being like this at times.

It's so weird I could relate to everything you said in this video, my emotional unavailability also stems from my childhood it's really deep. I really don't know how to process my emotions I never learned to do so as a child, and I have always struggled with vulnerability. I avoid any scenario which would make me be vulnerable. I had to write this comment and post before I changed my mind, but am trying to embrace therapy taking it one step at a time.

I love that you made this video I don’t realize how emotionally unavailable I was until this

The video we all need too see. Thankyou Queen 🙌🏽✨🥰

Thanks for being honest and opening my eyes to what it means to be emotional unavailable.

Girl preachhhh!! I was having this thought and its amazing what vulnerability can do for us

This video is so triggering ( the truth is in my face and I struggle to accept it )yet therapeutic( a lot of reflecting ). Thanks Breeny 😘

Breeny is looking goooddd in this vid😍

Thank you Breeny for your unique insight! I think this video offers a chance to consider deeper versions of healing. You have inspired some curious thoughts within me. 🤔 Thanks again. 🙂

*i love you so so much* *you’re stunning girl* 🥺💖

❤ thank you! This video gave me pause I had no idea I was dealing with this as well. Now I know where to start healing.

I think I’m emotionally unavailable too😭. I think that may be why I end up feeling neglected in my relationships