That is why now I am starting to record people. I no longer take people at face value. I have narcissistic parents and eldest sister.

I had a narcissist that always told me I'm selfish, even though they were selfish & I did everything I could to be selfless. They talked way more than me, I listened to them but they never listened to me, just talked over me. I always had a compliment, they always had an insult. I'm constantly thinking about how to make them happy, they're constantly thinking of a way to drag me down. I give positive reinforcement, they give negativity at all times. I knew it was bullshit but once I finally got the power to think for myself, suddenly I'm selfish. Can't deceive me, fool. If you need help with something, I'll help as best I can. But you're not shaming me & telling me it's selfish for not blindly being a piece of shit to project your self-hatred onto. I'll be damned. You'll have to find an easier target somewhere out in the world because I see right through the tactics, fool.

This is so interesting. I have definitely come across this personality type, with friendships and unfortunately with one or two family members as well. I'm so happy I'm a bit older and wiser now because I used to allow myself to be manipulated a lot more when I was younger. x

one of my mother in laws favorite weapons to use to get her way

Being aware of not only manipulation tactics, but also how you react to it, can make a big difference to protecting and caring for yourself when these people come up in your life. Thanks for sharing!

My friend started her own business and continues to guilt me into working for her, and for free. I volunteered, but it’s getting out of hand. The other day at 9:45pm she sends a text asking me to go to her house (35 min away) because she had food delivered when she was out of town and it wasn’t iced. I am going to school full time, she knows that my time is limited but will still ask me to work for her. When I say no, she will call, cry, make me feel guilty and I give in. Today, I told her I cannot help her anymore. I’m watching this as support. So thank you ❤️❤️❤️

So true, they want you to almost feel as they do in a sense, or I sometimes feel people who aren't happy, they take it out on others and try to make you believe you do or did was wrong, or it is all your fault. It is best to not go into the trap, that is what it is. Have a great week!! xoxo

My mom tells me all the time “well I only did x because everyone left” and “nobody wants to help me”. SO MUCH PROJECTION, thank you!

This is very useful I have a “good friend” who guilt trips people all the time thanks

I’m quite cynical and I see straight through stuff like that and I’m glad. I just need research to know when I’m being guilt tripped or not.

Projecting the blame when it comes to cheating - been there. So angry that I actually took the blame back then and tried to figure out what I was doing wrong...

I don’t think they want to be like you, what they really want is the rewards that would come from being like you. They don’t want to put in the work that you have, they just want to reap all the benefits.

I appreciate those who discuss these topics in order to assist people suffering from guilt issues specifically created by narcissistic behavior. I found it interesting personally from the side of feeling hugely triggered by some of the examples, so much so I couldn't finish. The reason why I found it triggering was it felt like almost a checklist of things that one could be accused of doing as a narcissist. For example, I had just had a kitchen fire, and my two housemates were being very supportive of each other and oddly cold, as if they blamed me, but didn't want to blame me. I tried to express how I was feeling, it was hard because "it's obvious" is not really expressive and someone can just say "no it's not." so I said, truthfully, that they were holding hands and being really very physically supportive to each other, but when I asked for a hug, it was turn around and walk the other way. Later it seemed like I was trying to "guilt trip" them into just responding in what I thought was a normal way, for example, if I said I wanted to talk about anything related to it, one would storm off, come back with a pad of paper and a pen, and then sit on the ground quietly as if prepared for a verbal assault. It was that weird. I couldn't watch anymore when it got to the "Is there anything else we can do for you?" sarcasm as if I had asked them to do anything but talk or look at me afterwards. One of the most painful things about it is how validating this video could be to them, that they were just not going to be guilt tripped by a narcissist who burned down the kitchen to try to guilt trip them into doing things for me. It was so weird, no acknowledgement that I wanted or asked for nothing except the hugs being handed out that day. Why would I even want them to feel guilty, was I seriously supposed to feel guilty for a kitchen fire I caused on purpose to get sympathy, that's just crazy to think someone would do that and this is an appropriate response. So maybe the dialogue could be extended to say, not all guilt-tripping is done in a malicious way or caused by a mental disorder in the DSM that can't be quickly diagnosed as the reason for it, not every mom who says Who do you think cleans up around here? is a narcissist, maybe they are not getting any sympathy or buy in with those words, but I'm not enabling narcissists by saying please don't diagnose 3 people you know as covert narcissists and act accordingly, it was one of the most hurtful things in my life.

the sad thing is some people do this unconciously. they were brought up by an unhealthy family and the manipulation is kind of "built in". they move around live like that and probably if not self-aware, pass this pattern onto their offsprings. voilà! another generation of dysfunctionality

I’m single, work part time, and have a lot of free time. A lot of people around me are very jealous of my freedom and think since I have time it’s my obligation to work for them for nothing and do errands. I decided to not be married or have a mortgage to have more freedom and have gone without many comforts. They guilt trip me often sometimes in pairs, but what they don’t realise is that I’m about a microsecond away from walking away from everyone and everything, 100% of the time. Thanks for the video, it’s great to understand it more!

This is exactly what I've been going through for the last 5 years.

My Dad just got annoyed at me for setting a boundary. He guilt tripped me about not responding to his messages quickly enough- to which I responded that if I do not reply to his messages it is for good reason. Now I'm being accused of throwing a tantrum for literally just asserting myself???

I’m glad your continuing this series. I had a co worker like this.

This was eye-opening and let me tell you that I wasn’t expecting all the great information you shared. Thank you

My mom would threaten to cut us off, disown us, kick us out if we tried to express our feelings.. She would hit us if she got angry.. Then the guilt trips….. I’m 53 years old and my mom is still doing this… I stopped talking to her because I don’t know how to have a relationship with her.. She’s very stubborn and nothing is ever her fault..

There is a big difference between guilt tripping, shaming and failing to meet basic responsibilities while if anyone asks why they left something undone then only turning them away while telling them that it isn't their job to be so concerned.

I am feeling very puzzled now. How you described the people using guilt tripping and shaming is how I was just described by someone. They even used the very same words. Even though those were not my intentions, and I am the kind of person who always looks for their fault inside themselves first.

I REALLY needed to hear this. THANK YOU!!!

@Eclectic Alu: I appreciate your video and content which is helpful in identifying marked signs of abuse. The implications of NA that can be so damaging to my self esteem my confidence and much much more. Im so grateful you compiled these so i can be sure that i know to look out for the ways it can affect my health and even my long term well being. I thank you once more and want you to know that this video has been the most informative. I will use the information wisely. Maybe even to give myself room to be a better person. Im alive and well because of you. PS the manipulative tactics that you described helped me become aware of my own power and take charge to walk out or away from the abuser with my healthy dog. We love your videos.

You couldn't be more spot on! My sister can't go a day without reminding everyone she encounters of every flaw they have. It has destroyed our family.

I love your videos, you have a really uplifting, calm, and genuine presence

Thank you so much for your video. You have really opened my eyes to how I have been treated and the reason why my family has been treating me this way

Honestly, this video helped a lot. I recently can’t stop thinking about a longtime friend I had a falling out with a while back and this helped me feel better about the situation. I was told to figure out myself “what I did wrong” instead of being told what I had done outright. I decided I wasn’t concerned with playing mind gymnastics to figure out what I had done, especially when I called her out on guilt tripping me; to which she tried to make me feel like I was overreacting by saying that. There was even a friend who, after I cut things off, tried to make us patch it up and go back to how things were (which I didn’t plan on doing, since I found out, through someone else, that my opinion on a topic had upset her and she wanted me to apologize for that.) Even now, I feel kind of guilty speaking out about the situation, but I guess that talking about it can help recovery. Thank you for the reminder that it’s not my fault.

I've never felt so much relatable about any KZfaq video!

So glad I found this channel. Subscribed!

I have guilt manipulative siblings and parents. The difference is they will eventually learn that I don’t give a sh*t about their guilt trips.

My “best friend” always does this, I came here because in the middle of the conversation she said “You are always my best friend, even if i’m not yours” I told her she is my best friend and she said “So your lying to me?” She always says these things, just yesterday She kept texting me “Reply, Reply. Ok then. You made me sad :C” But thank you for making this, It helped a LOT.

I have a friend who, always makes me feel bad. If Im not online the whole time, she gets angry, or if I dont wanna watch a stream with her. She uses phrases like.....i guess I'm not enough......okay i will leave you alone.....okay..She uses them like all the time she constantly needs attention and wants to know what I am doing, if I say nothing special ....she starts with those phrases again. She also loves to point out what I did wrong and says I was kind to you, but you dont care .......I have the strong feeling she is manipulating me.

Hi Alina I'm trying to catch up this week, love this series, thank you for sharing your knowledge xo😍

This is such a great explanation thank you so much

Loving loving these videos my friend 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🌹🌹🌹

My adult child is so toxic and manipulating. She loves arguing

thank you so much for sharing your knowledge in this video. really appreciate it. yes it is very helpful and yes we need more of you♥️greetings from switzerland

Thank you so much, I totally needed to be reminded of this, it's so covert sometimes...

My narc guilt tripper is my mom. Toxic. I am going no contact. With therapist’s help. Thank you for this video.

Yeah, my mother always asks if I need my room cleaned because she would lend a hand helping. I say "no thanks I don't need, I can clean my room myself". Then she goes clean my room when I'm not home and then tell me she has done that for my sake. I don't know, is that okay? I don't know if I am or my mother is, the one who has problem here anymore..

My mom does this a lot, If I bring up a issue like when I had to walk a hour home on the hottest day while being pregnant I came home hyperventilating and sat down and instantly I got bombed with "Oh I guess I'm a horrible person for not picking you up." "I'm sorry I felt like I was gonna pass out" "Well maybe you shouldn't have gone swimming period" "you shouldn't be walking like that you should have got a ride your gonna hurt your baby" and the best of all "Well itz not my fault I didn't answer I was getting smokes but of course I'm the bad person for just getting myself what I need." The funniest thing is I never bitchex at her for not picking me up all I said was "No I don't feel good I feel like I'm gonna pass out I'm sorry"

Well explained ❤

Thank you. The part about the looks was big for me. My ex husband used to give me the worst shameful looks. It was sooo hurtful to me and would literally make me feel so guilty and like shit. This was always after I didn’t do something he thought I should be doing. But he could do it himself. And after he would curse me out and I would just shut down.

Love your videos!! This video describes perfectly what my mom and sister has done to me all my life. My sister said something to me that was so mean that I finally realize what was going on. I found your videos and they have been a huge help for me to get better. I can’t go back! I won’t go back!! It’s just hard because I feel a lot of guilt. How do you get passed all the guilt I feel?

My friends shame and occasionally guilt trip me about certain topics... there is just a general air of superiority that they seem fine with putting on me. I never connected that my more self-aware or "taking responsibility" side was a part of the dynamic. Thanks for the video! They aren't full-on "manipulators" but I see some traits here, so it helps me to stop taking the blame and realize what they are doing and that it's not okay with me.

Thank you for advice and explanation. I understand more now

bruh someone just told me i keep guilt tripping them... after watching this I realised they are the one guilt tripping me :(. We've had a long fight and they never tell me what I did when I ask and ignore my questions. Thank you for this video

I have this new nanny, and since the first she's given me the creepy. She legit said because I didn't want a baby sister. And she said that it's selfish thinking. And then she said to my brother that he too short to play soccer. And then she's like I'm just kidding. And, I don't really like her. If you continues to be passive aggressive I'll tell my Mom about I'm not feeling her she's I feel like she's passive aggressive.

This is Gold

i recently dealt with girl who followed/unfollowed and blocked/unblocked just so i wouldnt follow them then i blocked them and they contacted me on other social media playing the victim and saying no one likes them. then i gave her second chance and she did it again and of course ghosted again and ignored all my messages. now i know why people in this certain fandom we were apart of blocks them and doesnt like them. people who dont have anything going for them and they blame others for their problems need to look within. maybe they are the ones who are loners and outcasts because they ruin any potential relationships that they could have had and they have no one to blame but themselves

Most common line you broke my heart exploiting guilt🙄

Thank you I needed this

You are the best!!

This was so helpful thank you

Thank you great video!

I sent this to my mom. Is it going to start a fight? Of course. But now I have an objective source we can both reference when she does these things.

Thanks for this, my dad makes me feel bad all the time whenever I’m doing something that he dislikes. I end up feeling really bad about myself and sad because in the moment I feel like I’m doing something wrong, even though I’m not.

Eclectic..wow your brilliant ,pretty and smart.unbelievable that it's sounds sadistic forienly..good stuff.

The more I look back, I find this is multiple family members with my mom and I. I don't know how, but I'm able to call out friends and partners that try to pull this crap but my family? I crumble

4:08 saved my sanity, God bless you u saving lifes ,no joke, namaste

Thank you this helped me so much! My mother has always done this to all of us she just recently fell and has a small fracture in her pelvis? She’s doing fine I’ve been over there day and night taking care of her? But yet I see how she overly puts on an act when somebody calls on the phone! And yes I can’t do enough I’m always getting the guilt trip in slight ways that only I recognize. Thank you I will subscribe love to hear more from you I’m about to go out the door and take her some medicine that I didn’t get her fast enough! Even though she has a ton of it already🤫🙄🙄🙄

Just dropping by to say hi good video very interesting

This is going on with loads of people I actually used to like. It's like big Coincidence or I'm the bad guy without actually doing anything.

Thank you. My adult daughter does all these things

Just happened to me. I brought my husband out a sandwich while he was mowing the lawn and mad cause I took so long and didn't bring him an ice water. I've done it before but didn't this time. Makes me feel like a failure, stupid and ashamed I didn't think about bringing my husband water sooner. Makes me feel angry like giving up... even though I won't cause of our children..

Very informative video 👌

Great video

This scheme was once used on me by a guy whom I thought I loved so dearly, I used benefit of the doubt to keep up with his misdemeanors in our relationship for couple of months, I dealt with his bullshits and After all, he managed to backflip me & make it appear, I'm the bad guy by pulling a prank on me, I was put up on his CHILDISH Test together with his mighty friend with his one-sided intentions of "exposing my true colors"??? He DID me nasty I failed his ridiculous test on purpose so I can break free and leave the bastard. Served him right. I could never stand his sickness 💯 In spite of it I still want him to succeed in life, I'm rooting for him

Painfully accurate. I just had to word vomit on my dad today for guilt tripping and deflecting. Relationships should not be exhausting.

You are spot on. 👏👏👏 It's too bad narcissists never hear this message... except for the ones who thumbs downed this video. 😄

Great vid!! I also shared my story 🤗

During this covid my mother says “people asl me if why my kids don’t care about you” because I went to social distance hang out with my neighbor. This pandemic has brought out the worst in my mother. It was hard to love with her before.

My parents do all these things with us (siblings) specially with my Elder one. She's been traumatic, introvert and kindda suicidal and has trust issues about people and marriage. What to do now? As a concerned sister, I'm deeply worried about her. I can see this anymore.

Sounds like my mom she always says I’m your mother

Yes, I love your video. Watching this makes me think you were listening in on my situation so now I am wondering if it would be a good idea sharing this video with the person who is guilt tripping me?

"they will exploit that to thE maximum."

My mom is 85 and doesn't say as much mean things but i still cant get past feeling guilty and never do enough...so hard and exhausting

i am learning a lot from this series Alina,I am always walking on egg shells

Alina you explain it so well ,I’m really loving this series on this subject ... is this a learned condition ,or are people born like this ? Do people like this ever seek help ? Thanks for sharing Love Frances Xoxoxo

my Dad and Step mom wants me to watch 4 dogs, just had back surgery in feb with nerve damage in my left leg and still a fall risk and since i said "No" to their "Favor" to house and dog watch...They no longer speak to me, because I dare said "No" to them.. now the silent treatment aka guilt trip until i break, but i have to look at my health over a favor... sorry

My mom usually says things like “Why would you do this to me on my birthday?” “Do you not love me?” “Why are you acting so rude? I thought I raised you better.” Whenever she fights with me or my sister. Is that a form of guilt tripping?

My kids love making me feel guilty for every thing they can come up with. It doesn't work.

I had someone I thought was a friend that guilted me into being his Uber for a few weeks before I realized that it wasn’t someone out of luck. It was a user.

🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

I personally legitimately hate being guilt tripped but I also have a hard time figuring out expressions. I feel like I get guilt tripped but I'm always told that's not the case. :/

While all my friends are losing parents it hurts to think of losing my only parent left -my mom. She guilt trips me starts fights then twists it and turns my sister against me. My moms determined to make sure I live in guilt after she dies it’s so evil

i agreee ! this is MY MOTHER! omg… this is why i need therapy

Yes im a good person and they wanna be like me, thats bullshit, thanks for the insight tho

My grandma guilt tripd me for 10 years

Ua beautiful. Not hitting on you but appreciating your beauty

I know my recent ex cheated but he won't admit it. so not only is he a cheater but also a liar. I'm glad I finally got away from him

U explained my husband.... All of it...

guilt tripping big one

So I am 30 years old I most recently started talking to my mom again after a long 8 years I recently moved in with her temporarily now In the past when we were kids we had chores such as washing dishes takin out trash ECT til this day I do all those dutys only to show my appreciation, now sometimes I will forget to do these dutys because I work 80 hours a week and when I come home I'm exhausted so sometimes when I'm sleeping I can hear her in the kitchen slamming things agressively in the kitchen when we were younger she would always behave like this but now as an adult is this behavior right should no feel guilty for not cleaning up after her, and also I sometimes do some of the grocery shopping and buy house hold things aswell but once again sometimes I don't because i am always busy with work and I am never home the majority of the time except to sleep..... sometimes she will have a bad additude and walk around the house slamming things and making a bunch of unnecessary noise I can also sense in her body language and vibe that she is upset idk what to do sometimes it gets so bad that I isolate myself from her to avoid this behavior I sleep in my car can I have some advice please I work as a security guard and I deal with alot of stressful situations the last thing I want is to come home and have to deal with this type of behavior some people tell me to just move out but I feel like that would be me running away from my problems as I've done it before and felt really bad in the end.....

how to stop feelin guilty when i decide to stop doing what they want me to do? (my mom is abusive)

Thnku x

Help me out god damn, srsly. Guilt is slowly eating away from me. It's been months n i can't seem to escape that feeling

The Gospel of salvation of our souls: 💜💕💜💖💞💜💕For what I received I passed on to you as of [first importance]: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Peter, and then to the Twelve. After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers and sisters at the same time,

Yup, nothing is ever good enough.