Feeling like I wasnt enough, was part of the reason why I left my first husband. It's never a good feeling. For anyone wondering what it's like, I hope you never experience a marriage or any serious relationship where you feel like you are never enough.

Damn, imagine being married to this man.

I think something else that is super important to talk about is that women also struggle with this issue! If you make a part two this would be a good point of discussion to bring in. Thankful for you and for this video.

Yes please, please make a part two! This video was so inspiring and touching. I’d love to hear more of your thoughts on sex, particularly about how they relate to scripture. Thanks for always putting out such awesome & genuine content!

Sooo this is an eye opener. I- this is such an uncomfortable topic, and I think part of that is because there is a lot of shame culture in my church when it comes to porn. But having someone who is a believer in Christ talk about it so openly and non judgmentally really softens the heart to receive your words. This is going to sound so dumb, but this video literally just changed my life 😅😅 I have so much to think about now... thank you for making this video, and sharing your time and thoughts with us.

Yes, part two would be wonderful. It’s so rare to find someone willing to really talk about it, not just at it...to discuss accept it’s existence but not simply choose a side of “it’s all good” or “it’s all bad”. I’ve struggled in the past and never had anyone open my eyes to needs it was truly addressing in my life. Instead it was always, “you’re weak, try harder” or “your flesh is too strong, pray harder”. More people need to hear this. Thank you for being so open in a public forum.

Thank you so much for your words here Matthias. My husband and I have been struggling to unpack his struggles with porn and how to actually deal with it in a comprehensive way that goes beyond just quick fixes and the shame tactics we are used to. This video was so great and is exactly what we needed - thank you for providing deeper perspective and help to these situations. Thanks you again! Please keep these KZfaq videos coming!

Thank you, I’ve dealt with this since elementary and never really had someone explain it and help me with it besides when they’d yell and say it’s a sin and all that madness, I thank you again for the new outlook and wise words on it 🥲

Could you do a video on overthinking or being insecure in a relationship??

There is so much wisdom in this video! Thank you so much! Your notes for pastors or religious leaders are incredibly helpful. I think it helps a lot of us to look more objectively at why someone may be struggling with this area in their life. It certainly helps promote healing for those who have struggled with feelings of inadequacy. Absolutely love your videos! You’re doing incredible work.

This guy is literally a walking W. He needs his own show bro. Stay blessed man 🖤

I hope there’s a part two! i love how you give different views on the topic. Both me and my fiancée have struggled with pornography, unfortunately from being exposed at a really young age. it’s been really hard not to feel insecure or feeling like you’re not satisfying their needs, but i’m learning it really isn’t always about you at all, i think it comes from a place of hurt and everyone has been hurt in some way or another. We started going to counseling together and about to start solo. we’re trying to stay positive. Although putting software in place and having someone to talk about it doesn’t take away the habit, we still have them in place for some accountability while we work through figuring out why and how to get rid of the habit. It’s been rough and we have our bad days, but it got us to open up in a different way and it really helps having a partner who understands and wants to walk with you through the process and just be your support system. anyway, love your videos!!

Im going through that feeling of not being enough rn. My bf still watches it even when im there and asleep. Without detail, he is never “fulfilled” when he does it with me. Its hurts so much but i love him so much. I feel like porn is so normalized i know that he may not mean it and i shouldnt care as much, but i still hurt everytime he tells me it happened.

Thank you so much for posting this period I can't tell you how much this is helping me in this season of my life right now.

Matthias, I have to say that thank God I dont struggle with the topics you discuss in your videos, but I find them so very contemplative and inpirational. Not only is the videography wonderful and your voice calming, but your perspective is so fresh and logical. Your stories and anecdotes are excellent and always on topic. I look forward to your videos to help reinforce healthy and functional thoughts and thinking in my life. Keep up the wonderful work and thank you!

Amazing...I’ve definitely prayed that prayer of take away this temptation. I’ve never looked at it from this side though. That it’s not something to pray that God takes away but instead say “God help me to be satisfied in You alone”. Great videos, sir. Please do more on this topic!

This NEEDS a part 2-especially the ending.

Oh my goodness, thank you!! I know this is an old video but who cares, I have struggled with this my whole life and you just helped me think through it and I will think through it and pray through it more. Thank you for tackling the delicate things.

Feeling like you’re not enough or there’s something wrong with you. It feels like adultery to me.

I think we will address a lot of the porn addiction and dependency when people can honestly answer the question you asked "what are you searching for?"

Part 2 please!! Can you please touch more on how a person can cope with their partner watching porn due to past sexual trauma. I watched this and it helped educate me but I still don’t feel like I’m enough. When I’m not with him he turns to porn instead of turning to me to satisfy his sexual need and I feel useless for that ..

I really needed this, I follow you on tiktok and you have been a much needed guidance. Thank you for what you do. This won’t change anything immediately but this has giving me a starting point on how to look for the long term resolution.

Oh gosh.... “I kissed dating goodbye”. I remember that. What a weird childhood I had....

I really, really needed this. Thank you so much! Please do a Part 2!

This video helps so much. I'm 19 and I've been struggling since I was 12 and I've grown up in a lot of the same environments as you and been told the same things you were, but I see now that I can't just will it away. Thank you.

Bruhhhh. This was *so* good. Thank you for this. I am encouraged by this.

Love this! The church perpetuates the belief that you’re dirty, sinful and disobedient if you struggle with sexual sin. But when you flip the script and make it more about respect and love for the other person’s body, mind and spirit and your own body, mind and spirit; it’s so much easier to abstain... and if/when you do struggle you don’t feel like you’re condemned to hell for being human.

Dude loved this. Really shed some light into my life thanks man

Matthias I’ve always loved what you’ve got but today was shattering the fearfully and wonderfully made but got me I know God loves me and I know he gave me this to be a part of my story but to hear someone say that out loud was something else

When I first got married, I found a porn search for cheating wives on my husband's phone. I was devastated, and I am still not sure what to think about it.

Please make a part two - thank you for so much great content!

Thank you so much! this was just what I needed today, God bless!

Oh my gosh PLEASE do a part two this was so helpful

Ive gotten better more aware of what i think is an addiction to pornography but as youve said that if the emotional need if not met then it is really hard to fight the temptation to watch porn even with all those blocker apps to stop people from watching. It feels like Ive hit a plateau on what I can do. I want to recognise the power God has over my situation and choose Him but it's like everytime i start watching his voice gets silenced out subconsciously because i guess the body wants what it wants (?). Would love to get some advice also this video was really good seeing sexual sin and desires from a different perspective

how can i have a one on one conversation about this with you? is there? i have literally JUST gone through this type of conversation and i turn to your videos or tiktoks in time of need. you are seriously very healing.

Love your videos! I have always thought that NOT being sexual with someone before marriage can fog your vision because you may be more likely to marry someone because you just want to finally have those sexual experiences with them? Or rush into things because you want the end goal of sex? Like the anticipation and desire and need to have sex clouds your judgement? Just my thoughts.

I’m glad I found your message, thank you ....Hi Matt, Merry Christmas!🎄

Thank you so much for all guidance you have provided me!

A movie that touched my heart deep on this subject, The Heart of Man.. it answered a lot of questions and at the same time provided me freedom on the sex topic in general. If anyone feel interested to watch it don't give up on testimonies of the first minutes if it doesn't apply to you, it has a message toward the end to reflect who we really are.

This was said in a way that’s so modern and I wish I heard this when I was younger. I think when we’re repressed in the way you’re speaking of, we’re so mature areas of adult hood, but in the area of sex we’re still a 16 yo trying to process those things. It’s sad to go through, cuz it doesn’t develop a “balance” as an adult on how to think about this. Just 2 far extremes...

I really needed the last 5 minutes

Wonderful words especially at the end! And I know that this video is 9 months old but I would love to see you have a discussion with Jonathan Pageau!

In a part two, could you elaborate on what to do once you identfify the need that pornography is filling?

Thank you for your wisdom you are really gifted by God to help millions of broken hearts, I have learnt a valuable lesson just listening to your message so I can help my children when they are old, thank you God bless you more and more you are very precious 🙏

Hey man, can you maybe do a video of why people cheat on there partners and how to forgive the other person and them selves?

Wow. You have such a beautiful heart! And God is using that beautiful heart to heal his people. The last few mins real hit and cut deeply. Thank you! God Bless!

Thank you for this, I’ve been trying to quit for years now. I’m 17 and i’ve been doing it since i was 12. I’ll always try to do the self discipline groups and think i have to muscle my way through it, but i’ve always wondered if there was a deeper reasoning. I think it’s because I feel like i’m a disappoint and i’m not special and not living up to what i think i should be, so i do it to feel special to somebody. How do i go about healing?

I live with my heart on my sleeve... But i'm a tough guy... I have triggers That need to be addressed.... But the trouble I have doesn't scare me... I'm not scared to relieve these things... And rewrite em. To heal. Calm state.. Talking about the traumatic days. Is nothing to me... I can stay pretty calm talking about the worst times... It's when they catch me off guard suddenly... Unprepared for it.. Or I could be doing really good... And the drop of a dime turned into an jerk. And then I get guilt.

Thank you for sharing this with us. It answered questions about actions within my life. So thank you so very much much.

This made me feel less weird about this after my assault cause I was struggling and I didn't know why

You should consider doing videos like these but as ASMR! Man, that would be relaxing.

I’m going to be completely honest I don’t think I’ve learned more about myself more than today than I have in the past year and I think that p0rn was a blockade to that so I’d like to thank you very much for opening my views on things.

I grew up at a time that encountering porn video was much harder. I never encountered it as an adolescence. I encountered other early sexual exposure that I should not have. It was jarring and it has had continued detrimental effects. The access to porn today, and hardcore especially, is a recipe to totally destroy normalcy in coming of age sexuality.

Someone reached to me for help on this. And it was so hard cuz I really didn't know what to say or do nevertheless helping myself too... But this really gave me an insight and I am sure this video would be of great help. Thanks so much

I respect this video man. I come from the same background as you. I wish I would ave heard this a long time ago.

I feel that whenever he watches porn it’s cheating but in his perspective he thinks it’s not and that he thinks it’s not cheating because they don’t look at the looks but they look at what’s happening so their point is lets say they like that women but will they be able to date them but no and my point there was it don’t agree and i feel that I wasn’t enough to make him watch those things.

Thank you! Honest and powerful

I just had a girlfriend who we were very sexually active and we did it like multiple times everyday or atleast we did it every other day. I thought I wanted to marry this girl and she honestly wasn’t mature enough and I feel like without sex I might have seen our differences and wouldn’t have gotten hurt by her. I honestly feel like if I’ve never gotten into have sex and watched porn I would be better. I watch porn just to be able to have that self pleasure and I want the dopamine from it. It makes me feel good and it makes everything better granted it doesn’t last long but it makes me feel better and that’s why I feel like doing that won’t help anymore. When you’ve done it so long it’s a habit and it’s hard to break. I’ve never looked at it from her side when she did say something I feel honestly bad because I never thought of it that way. So thank you for helping I appreciate what you do and I love listening to you talk and explain things.

The problem I have is I'm trying to stop and go back to my imagination and memorys and to masturbate less as a whole. At this point it's not that I need it it's just habbit

What camera did you use to film this? I’d like to buy the same camera

I love the layout to fit my phone in portrait mode because I hate going full screen

Hey I got a question can you do Carl Jung psychology about persona and shadow. I really would appreciate it so much .

Wonderful please do a series eventually especially about what could be underlying for darker interests (pegging, being beaten cut and hurt and dominated ) i had a former partner that wanted those things but also hated wanting them ... I've been trying to make sense of this from a Christian perspective but also a psychological one

Can you do a video like this on adultery? What leads to one stepping out on their spouse? The trauma? How the victim can heal? What the spouse who stepped out can do to heal the relationship? Etc anything!

I don’t know if you’ll see this but me and my best friend recently stopped talking and she moved on but I’m just here thinking of all the memories and thinking that I’ll never be that happy again so what do I do to let go and to make my self feel okay instead of lonely. I really can’t do this on my own not this time could u help?

great video. what is the song in the outro?

Do you improvise these or do you write a script?

So, what about masturbation? It’s difficult to imagine one without the other. It seems like porn has become normalized in our culture. What about watching porn with a partner? SO MANY QUESTIONS. Is there a context where it’s ok?

Wow, I needed this

Love your perspective thank you!

Hey Matthias, I found your channel just a couple of weeks ago, but I am totally digging watching your thought provoking and inspiring vids. I truly enjoyed listening to your stance on pornography and how there is always an underlying issue. That is something to take into consideration anytime an addiction is present. I also appreciated how you offered practical tips on how to overcome those challenges. However, and I realize I may be placing a target on myself with the following comment, but I am disappointed with your stance on expressing sexuality. I could have interpreted it incorrectly, so feel free to voice your thoughts if I’m off base. As a therapist, I would use caution in vocalizing the rhetoric behind sex can’t be “just sex,” that there’s no room for it to be a novel expression of self, as that notion only further contributes to shame culture. Many of your listeners are young, and I would hate for them to watch this video and feel guilty for choosing to have sex before marriage, or exploring their sexuality with multiple partners. I think it’s important to remind people that sexuality and sexual expression is a spectrum and it is up to the individual to decide what they want for themselves (I know you briefly mentioned this, but I think it should have been more heavily emphasized). That there is no one size fits all approach, and it is OKAY to be sexual in whatever form that takes. I also grew up in the I Kissed Dating Goodbye culture and am still recovering from the impact of it. I think this video was a good start, but I do hope you’ll make another one clarifying that we should not be ashamed of our sexual encounters with people.

You should do more videos on porn, this has really helped me

you’re amazing brother

Such an amazing video. I struggle with it alot

How can I become one of your clients?

Wow! Is there a Nobel prize for awesome and really really amazing content?

Phenomenal overview

So, so good!

Do you have a podcast

Oh this is his video!? I saw it on Tik Tok and thought he was just shouting out someone else’s bodeo

Where is the line drawn. What if the S.O. pays for a premium snap or pays a lot of the shared money you make with him to talk to them or buy the sets. Then kept it from you your entire relationship? Is it then just porn? Or is it more? I wish I knew where the line is. At what point has it gone too far? At what point is it cheating?

Thank you

This was so helpful

Please make a part 2.

I'm not struggling, I'm beating it... And myself... Off ...

Dude chill, me and my girl both watch porn and neither of us care, porn is awesome, self pleasure my guy self pleasure

Im saving this until i get a girlfriend

Ive attempted suicide because of the shame of porn. Ive failed classes because i was depressed that i couldn't quit porn.

Are you religious?

Your OnlyFans is so hot.

Yes, great commentary! To add on, I firmly believe that porn is damaging to your heart, soul, and mind. When I use to watch it, it plagued my mind. I would look at men differently. I wanted to change but couldn’t on my own. When I turned to Jesus, my whole life changed! I dont watch porn anymore and I don’t want to. If you’re struggling, know that if you turn to Jesus, He will change you, I promise! You don’t have to feel shame/guilt anymore. He doesn’t want you to feel shame. Shame is from the devil.

I'm not struggling with porn I accept that I love it and my wife likes to watch some here and there as well.