Ladies don’t be hard on yourselves! A lot of men are broken and they clearly don’t hVe the capacity to accept love from a woman. He could very well love you and have deep feelings but doesn’t attach out of fear. Not all men but most of them need therapy and tools to trust again. If he isn’t healed you won’t be happy at all.
@ayechanmyintmyat7789 Жыл бұрын
That’s what I see in my man.
@blessingmamman4635 Жыл бұрын
Your so right... That last line got me
@amberg4131 Жыл бұрын
My bf and I well,he says he cares about me but his actions don’t fully line up. I mean when I leave his place he always has me tell him when I made it home safely.. and if we ever go out to the store or anything (he doesn’t go out much $issues) he always has me walk in the inside. We have had our issues,cheating,trust,abuse,addiction,and I got dentures but we’ve gotten mostly me sober.I’ve been 18months where I know he relapsed at 9 months. Since then he’s been sober until he got some $(we both arnt working,in treatment ) but he got credits mad $ and cashed in a stock. I know what he’s like when he’s high since I’ve used and relapsed with him countless times. When we got sober in the beginning we were intimate,yet it wasn’t fully connected he wasn’t doing anything..our relationship stopped any intimacy.no nicknames no cuddling no love you hell we haven’t even kissed in years. A week ago I had gotten him off..and a few days after I tried to have sex with him and he shushed me away yelling I kept waking him up. He has a job offer he is saying from his friend and he will be moving in 5months. So he’s been talking to his friend who’s an engineer they are going to be working on a similar project for his friends company he works at so his friends getting this job. He had this depressive issue before the job offer came,but he had said that he couldn’t explain why he couldn’t want to do anything,he couldn’t explain it anyway and then he said it’s hard to explain. So I wonder,because he cheated in the past about 2 years ago and I know he did before, but I’m wondering if he’s cheating emotionally atleast with one person. Bc I’ve caught the phone number and wrote it down. The area code doesn’t line up with the state his friend lives in. So if it’s a landline that is it’s not his friend.. but it is likely a cellphone . I don’t want to call it in case it is his friend since I know this friend is a workaholic so I don’t want to have his friend hear my voice,but I want to know if it is him or someone else. I tried to search but nothing comes up with the number. His mom came up and visited him like 2 weeks Ago which I checked with some relatives casually who informed me she was coming up so I felt relieved.yet he said she was visiting the next day too which for her to visit it’s another 2hour drive from where she was staying. So I don’t know if she would do that. He says he doesn’t lie yet I caught him in a few mostly when I caught him high,but also when he cheated and told me it was a guy he was meeting when it was a girl. I’m trying not to be emotional and want to have all the proof when I confront him. But I don’t want to confront him if it’s just his depression or something else. I feel like my needs arnt important as his,that he has no respect for me anymore,that he doesn’t love me nor care about me,and he’s just using me as a placeholder. I mean he’s broken up with me twice and came back but I worry that he sees me as desperate and doesn’t want to stay together. So I feel like he’s emotionally attached to another woman who’s he’s been talking to without me..the camera on the laptop that used to have a sticker over it’s been ripped off.and he couldn’t say why he removed it. Tiny things that are adding up plus my gut isn’t feeling right.
@k8sl Жыл бұрын
Time to reclaim your life
@ceecee6378 Жыл бұрын
Yep…I just experienced this. He didn’t feel good enough and pushed me away. I’m so disappointed. He projected his insecurities, pushing and pulling, eventually causing some chaos.
@MybabyboyIra Жыл бұрын
I dont trust words much not even actions. I trust patterns.
@susanclaire9013 ай бұрын
My current boyfriend has NEVER made me doubt for a second that he is "into" me. He's attentive, caring, and consistent to a degree unmatched by any other man I've dated. Hang in there ladies, there are still good men out there!
@Amanda-cy5il Жыл бұрын
These videos make me want to be okay with being alone forever.
@schoolingdiana90864 ай бұрын
Right??? I’m thinking the same thing.
@megcurtis4361Ай бұрын
Totally agree they just seem like hard work I would rather be alone
@PD-sw8pxАй бұрын
Different face and different name.Same lies and same game.
@juliadarling3404 Жыл бұрын
"If a man sees a future with a woman, he will treat her well"..there's Brian's work summed up in one phrase. It's THAT easy.
@raquelkutsch5600 Жыл бұрын
It’s not what a man says it’s what he does. Do his actions make me feel what I need to feel or do his actions instill doubt, confusion, mixed messages….how do I want to feel….
@Mystic_Light Жыл бұрын
Exactly. How do I want to feel? When I'm interested in someone or am in relationship, I ask myself, "How do my actions make the other feel?" We could solve so many problems with this approach.
@Synder619 Жыл бұрын
Yes, does his actions match what he SAYS? Go w/what he DOES!!!
@Freespiritedqueen Жыл бұрын
@@Synder619 THAT ALSO!
@rociosamaniego3191 Жыл бұрын
I feel you, that’s exactly how I feel, confused, I just don’t get it and it makes me feel sad
@lanapalij4014 Жыл бұрын
@@Synder619 I agree! Words/ talk is cheap! Show me that your words, and actions match!
@AFAskygoddess Жыл бұрын
*Love gives. Lusk takes.* If you feel emotionally drained when being around someone, that's your cue that this isn't a good relationship. You're just this person's emotional and/or physically "supply" that they'd replace in a heartbeat when a better offer appears. Thank you for the dog analogy. It's perfect 🥰
@louisasmiles Жыл бұрын
Spot on.
@BluieBeth Жыл бұрын
This is probably the best advice I've ever heard. ❤️ Wish it was easier :-/
@louisasmiles Жыл бұрын
@@BluieBeth its as easy as you make it.
@gtorr47 Жыл бұрын
@@BluieBethIt hurts a lot, I agree. Especially when you have insecurities but decide to take a chance anyway-- only to discover the Prince Charming persona was just an act. I hope you can heal from any hurt this man has caused you. In time you will thank yourself for walking away ans choosing you above someone too selfish to care about you.
@jvf45 Жыл бұрын
Well said!
@GilliMarieMoody4 ай бұрын
Thanks. Respectfully, I think it’s normal for women (and men) to want ongoing proof of interest in a relationship, not out of insecurity. My Dad is a loner, but regularly shows Mom how much he cares. Cheers.
@ruthwells3990 Жыл бұрын
If you don’t know how a man feels about you-LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! If someone likes interested or cares for you, there will be no doubts or confusion because they will tell you. Chaos and confusion = GAMES BEING PLAYED!!!! That’s it that’s ALL
@user-bv4mu5om5u Жыл бұрын
There are people, though, who grow up in dysfunctional homes and who develop destructive behaviors that prevent them from having healthy relationships which has nothing to do with "destiny".
@catche85 Жыл бұрын
This was such a great reminder. I have been wondering if a person has feelings for me but you're right... if he's the right guy, he will be naturally sufficiently motivated and there isn't any need to think about it. The chips will fall where they may.
@Freespiritedqueen Жыл бұрын
I believe this to be the upmost truth, every guy I have been with including having kids by were all wrong. Taking notes and LOVE BRIAN!
@dawn4999 Жыл бұрын
Actions speak louder than words. Words are good, but if there are never any actions, words mean nothing. If you never feel respected, loved, cared for or protected, then words are meaningless.
@mistydumont5485 Жыл бұрын
This was exactly what I needed to hear today. I am trying so hard to break out of a toxic relationship and have no intention of taking it with me into the new year. Thank you for this wonderful and helpful message. ❤️
@sandragriffin7681 Жыл бұрын
Yes, just what I needed to hear Thank you so much
@JuuC Жыл бұрын
Me too, I wish us good luck
@skyfall1481 Жыл бұрын
Drop the dead weight of your ex now, to start the new year fresh. Create a new space for a better person to come into your life. Great advice.
@Kinteresting Жыл бұрын
I know it’s hard… and you’ll always find some way to talk yourself out of it. But please trust me, and I’m telling myself this also- think of any time you can’t get back. Think that you can enter the new year knowing that you’ll never again lose time to that pain again. Think of your life and future, and make that be the line that supercedes any other thought or hesitation that comes up. Draw the line at knowing you cannot and will not let one more moment, one more new year of your life, entertain even any facet of this situation. Not at all. Think of that slippery slope of thinking you can handle something differently or that some small interaction won’t matter and remind yourself of when it’s made you backslide in the past. Resolve to make this line permanent. Please do that for yourself, and I will do the same.
@first_derivative Жыл бұрын
you can do it 💗
@som0919 Жыл бұрын
Treating someone well should not only depend on having a future with that person.Treating someone well is a person's nature.A good natured person will treat people well in general.Not only on the basis of having a future with that person. Ofcourse they probably will be extra attentive towards the person that they like.
@sandral2261 Жыл бұрын
Actions speak louder than words 💯
@kalluralove946 Жыл бұрын
Twenty-four years. That’s how long it’s taken me to realize that I’m not wrong to be unhappy in this relationship 😢
@reginaaaq Жыл бұрын
😳
@mmommo10 Жыл бұрын
37
@livinggrace4148 Жыл бұрын
Great that you realized it ❤ some never do 🎉 give yourself a high five and a hug 🤗
@malakai3360 Жыл бұрын
31
@abbyphillyhrm Жыл бұрын
Wishing u light and love ❤️ You'll be fine, trust me.
@gtorr47 Жыл бұрын
Beautiful message, Brian. Even if his feelings are deep, if he consistently hurts you with thoughtless words and actions, the relationship will probably not work. Yes, communication is key, but sometimes people just don't want to change. Let them be.
@martikurtz4040 Жыл бұрын
I agree with your points completely. I was in a short term relationship that continually left me feeling unimportant and unvalued. I broke ties with that person and now just started dating someone who makes effort, is in close communication and treats me so well. How the other person made me feel about myself was the big clue and not what I want for my life! thank you
@ummiharoun8048 Жыл бұрын
Pray for us to gain that courage to get out of this pathetic relationship
@gtorr47 Жыл бұрын
So happy to hear you're doing well 💓💓💓 I hope you both can make each other happy, you deserve it 🥰
@31Alden Жыл бұрын
Trust your destiny. Trust and listen to your instincts, Ladies. We know when things feel “off” and are missing the mark in terms of what is right for our well-being. Another excellent video. Thank you, Brian.
@geeem7889 Жыл бұрын
Ultimately it's about someone's actions. How they treat u on a daily basis. It's about consistency as well. They can tell u whatever but if their actions don't match their words for the most part, you know the answer. I say for the most part cuz no one is perfect and ppl screw up at times. Just look at the bigger picture and you'll have your answer. Be honest and refrain from making excuses for that person.
@angelaeve7194 Жыл бұрын
Brian’s had a lot of great advice throughout the years and I’ve used him to make sense of a lot of the issues I faced in past relationships. I’m here to tell you not to settle for anyone that EVER makes you wonder how they feel for you. I found the love of my life and he never ever leaves me guessing for a moment. When it’s right, in your heart you’ll know. Not a KZfaq video.
@sanelamesihovic6932 Жыл бұрын
Thanks.❤
@feebsfilms Жыл бұрын
I love this, thank you for pointing out how self-defeating it is to ask for reassurance of how a guy feels. As women we can be our own worst enemies by doing this and as you say so well looking for that "hit" of his reassurance (which always gives away our power and that secure feeling from soliciting reassurance never lasts!) Your Emergency Reboot Course helped me to see the guy I loved disqualified himself and was not the right one for me. That helped me keep my dignity and not chase him when he walked away. Two months later a man that loves me for ME walked into my world. The very things the wrong guy complained about me expressing a need for, the right man LOVED about me. I was heartbroken when the wrong guy walked away, but I listened to you and soon I will be marrying the man who daily shows me how he feels by placing my needs and happiness as his priority, all of which he does without being reminded or asked. I will keep listening and learning from you. Thank you Brian for helping me grow. :)
@danicaharley6273 Жыл бұрын
So good to hear a beautiful success story is still possible. Does Brian have courses too?
@lisalisa1460 Жыл бұрын
Am still battling with a heartbreak 💔💔💔. from my widower boyfriend who ghosted me after our first date. I feel real depressed 😔😔😔 with thoughts of him flooding my mind every second. I pray to God daily for healing and my inner peace.
@feebsfilms Жыл бұрын
@@danicaharley6273 yes, on his website. His books are great too!
@T-KRD Жыл бұрын
"Keep my dignity" ... you are so right! I have been repeating the word 'dignity' to myself as a sort of mantra and it has helped me to let go of my neediness, I started questioning why i am craving knowing the opinion of the moment, which could change if i were to ask for the opinion that I'm craving
@murahkami Жыл бұрын
@@danicaharley6273 Yes, his emergency reboot course is amazing!!!!
@danicajovanovic1963 Жыл бұрын
Recently I broke up with my boyfriend. This was the shortest relationship I have ever had. Why: dating is easy, we are the ones who makes it difficult. When someone is not all over us, we crave the attention from that person because of our own ego. Why would you even be into a person who is not into us that much? If he never shows interests in you totally avoiding to see your value: why would you even invest your time to choose someone who is not good at seeing the real opportunities ? He would be bad at it further in or without a relationship. So, that person is not that smart as you think now.
@tracymcintosh3426 Жыл бұрын
Eveeyone should feel good when they are in a relationship, no matter their sex. We all need to treat people with the love n respect that we expect to receive, then hopefully it will be meaningfull and not confusing, my thoughts xx
@foreignlovedreams Жыл бұрын
A man can be seen by his actions, not by his words. I always believe only in actions! And yes, I agree, love can be seen by how a man treats a woman in any situation: good or critical. When you are calm and comfortable next to your partner - this is important!
@Patricia-qy5kb Жыл бұрын
I always trust my gut feelings, definitely not words. Talk is cheap and certainly actions speaks way louder than words.
@Authorravenwolf Жыл бұрын
Well, this video hit me hard. I'm still confused, but then my guy treats me like I don't exist, only when he wants something. So in other words, I have been cold, and distant, stopped texting, and stopped calling, and it eats me up inside. Though, he chases me, but only when he wants to see what I'm doing, in the sense he needs something. But I need to be strong. Last year I bought him a cake, and gifts, for his birthday. He was angry. I was puzzled. So I thought to be kind to show I care, and hoping to get something for my bday. I received absolutely nothing. So this year, he gets nothing. All the tears I cried over his, how he really felt about me, has brought me to my senses. I don't need him, nor do I want him. So I set my boundaries, though it took a long time.
@sandramcleod9723 Жыл бұрын
My ex boyfriend never respected my boundaries but I knew he loved me. Just one example why he's my ex. Thank you for the reminder ❤️❤️
@kellysandblom6508 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this. I feel it came at the right time. I have been battling narcissistic abuse sustained from my mom, and that self doubt and needing reassurance is constantly there, as she would always imply I wasn’t good enough and all the negative comments come out in myself and the worst being, “I’ve upset him, he’s going to break up with me.” Thank you, thank you, for making and sharing this video and I’m so appreciative of your humor. 😁❤️ I love your videos. 😁❤️🙌
@lesliecinadr8657 Жыл бұрын
Sorry you had to experience that! 😢 I grew up with similar experience with both of my parents, then an 18-year marriage with a narcissistic police officer. It’s such a struggle constantly battling the feelings I’ve developed on never being able to do anything right or to be good enough for love. So thankful for tools to help with the battle. Glad you found this too!
@Cheana Жыл бұрын
I feel the same. I always fear he might leave me, that he does not love me. He doesn‘t talk about feelings and that‘s really hard for me
@Kinteresting Жыл бұрын
@@Cheana do you feel blissfully happy and good and loved respected and taken care of? If not.. you shouldn’t fear him leaving, you should welcome that, and you should be the one leaving. Give yourself a great big hug, ask for what you need openly and clearly. If you aren’t getting that.. keep hugging and holding yourself and get moving forward. Somebody else will love you, and in the meantime you have you. Do not ever fear losing someone else- fear losing time, and your joyful connection to yourself. Life is short, go be happy elsewhere if someone else isn’t showing you that. If you’ve communicated or asked or if you feel uncertain. And ask for help addressing these fears.. the right man will help! And embrace you. And if he isn’t.. leave and ask for help elsewhere. Tell people about your fears and don’t be ashamed. I’m sending you love and strength! But please please don’t silence yourself or you concerns ever! Even when they’re silly, face them and ask questions and make moves accordingly. Love you first. You are number one baby.❤
@juliaskagfjord6207 Жыл бұрын
Hey, I had a narcissistic abusive mother growing up and the thing is people who've grown up like this have a high need to be be with a guy who is giving that reassurance and nurturing and who isnt instilling self doubt same as the narc parent did. Not saying it isnt our responsibility to self soothe, but just saying we come by this weakness honestly!
@denisethorbjornsen7493 Жыл бұрын
I think asking a man about his family life when he was growing up and how is parents discipline him is important information
@sannaek64 Жыл бұрын
Words are only words , Treatment and actions, shows me more . Thank You 🙏
@tanyaclouse8354 Жыл бұрын
Thank you!!! I am just learning how to love myself, and that means not being the chaser, they always end up being the wrong one. Let them come to you, if they are that interested, most are not. It's worth a smile.
@tinaclemence5543 Жыл бұрын
I have been the same for many years mostly because I was treated badly my husband of 22 years , and had a bad childhood which left me feeling unloved and unworthy..always trying to please men , leaving my own pleasures on the back shelf ..but now I'm older and wiser at 61 and I've had enough of all of that . I have learnt that I am worth everything I deserve in my life and not a single day goes by now when I don't do something special just for me ..
@deec4114 ай бұрын
i've been with both. For almost 12 years I settled for let's say it crap treatment. It wasn't until I finally said enough is enough and stopped looking that I found my prince. I was concentrating on myself and enjoying my interests. I think we're told to believe that this is selfish when it's actually necessary for spiritual growth. Wishing everyone peace and happiness in themselves!! ✨💖✨
@tam_to_evolve Жыл бұрын
This one was on point Brian! And after having got out of a narcissistic abusive relationship, I really needed to hear this as a sweet but gentle reminder. It was much needed. Thank you for this one. It was sweet, simple, yet pure gold!
@jennhawkins5356 Жыл бұрын
I love the advice you give! It is very wise; my dad had tried telling me these things for years and I didn’t get it. I get it now!
@mayohsetsuna Жыл бұрын
Definitely needed to hear this. Thanks Brian Nox for being a part of my life ever since the Pandemic started! You’ve helped me heal a broken heart and start over anew. 💜
@user-vb6sq9ml7b Жыл бұрын
It's always so hard to see when you are "in" the relationship, but I feel like the answer is super easy all the time. We just don't like it. If we have to ask - it's not a good relationship. Period. Thanks for the reminder, how we feel is EVERYTHING.
@sophiastuart4357 Жыл бұрын
Real talk Brian. The actions will give you all the answers you need,whether we accept what we see is down to us. Don’t accept less because you will pay for it later on.
@denisateodoracalin4865 Жыл бұрын
God, you make so much sense! And it’s so important - at least to me! I came from a long line of toxic abusive relationships and I feel like listening to you confirmes and reestablishes what normal really needs to be. I was just contemplating this recently that only how they make me feel matters. And nothing is an excuse for less. “But he loves me” really amounts to nothing, like the cocker spaniel example. Thank you for doing these videos. And for being so frank and sensible! As many authors jump on the wagon and simply unethically put content put there aimed at losing your time on the wrong relationship, magically thinking it will be you that changes the other person into something they’re not. That narrative also feeds into unhealthy perceptions of self that keep people drawn to dysfunctional relationships- because having someone tell you it can be done only deepens the misperception that it is indeed you that cannot be good enough to get the right behavior out of the other person. Very twisted and unethical. It’s so reassuring to hear your sensible, really kind advice - I think you model a healthy type of masculinity and a healthy type of interaction that I can at least say I am very grateful for!
@kate9653 Жыл бұрын
This is great! I have been addicted to reassurance from other people and I didn’t even realize it. I love the idea of looking for someone showing reassurance vs just words.
@livinggrace4148 Жыл бұрын
So many talkers 💯
@m-ve4wu Жыл бұрын
This has been the most enlightening advice ever! Thank you for this, I really needed it. I used to think that love would conquer it all and it was all that mattered, but lately I've been noticing things that have changed my whole perception. Your video has been the most helpful!
@treeeasywayne9383 Жыл бұрын
Brian, I love you; you are always helping us, with no foolishness.
@Synder619 Жыл бұрын
Does his actions match what he SAYS? Go w/what he DOES!!!
@mimilookamie8019 Жыл бұрын
Holy crap. Why could I not have gotten this information 25 years ago. :(
@lynnettemarino6972 Жыл бұрын
This makes me feel more confident in what I feel currently in the long-distance 'relationship' I'm in.
@Snowystardust124 ай бұрын
This is the best advice! We can’t know what’s in his heart, but we do know how he makes us feel. If we feel confused and uncertain all the time with him, then obviously that’s not the life we want, and that’s the only life he can give. I find it hard to imagine that there are men who actually take time and effort to listen to their woman’s feelings and try to understand. I’ve not met such men. I wonder if you know many men who do care for women’s feelings, and if you do…well…I need to look for them. Thank you for your encouraging and educational videos!
@mariaelizabandolesalcantar3928 Жыл бұрын
This makes perfect sense ❤️ You're a genius you're making it easier to understand and simpler to apply. Thanks Heath 😊❤️
@clairexxx0405 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this video (Geert) Brian It makes so much sense, we are always worrying so much about how others feel about us and how we are. They say if something is meant to be it will be 🤗 But I guess that doesn't take into account our Human over thinkings 🙈 And I love how you love it when we watch to the end 😁
@aleksandrajakoska184211 ай бұрын
narcissists also make you feel good (at least in the beginning) but they dont love you so i dont agree completely on this
@dunix2993 Жыл бұрын
if this relationship is meant to be then it will be, and continue to be, If a man sees a future with a woman, he will treat her well
@nikkiross128b Жыл бұрын
Thank you. This video made me understand why my long term relationship is not working well.
@4elovechishe Жыл бұрын
Brian is the best. Explained in the way no one ever explained to me
@donnameyerssister2018 Жыл бұрын
Thank you. I needed to hear this. I realize now that I am addicted to his reassurance. If I say the wrong thing, he doesn't forgive me. If he says something that upsets me, he doesn't own up to it so everything is always MY fault. Now my feelings are really hurt. He's not speaking to me. I don't know what to do.
@Kevinb1821 Жыл бұрын
Is it normal if the very beginning of a relationship to wonder if she loves and cares but over time you feel assured without them needing to say anything? I don’t need and assurance from her anymore. She just naturally shows me the way she treats me
@teacherlucy4771 Жыл бұрын
I think it is just normal...That happened to me also at the beginning of the relationship but not anymore...
@bobbijones6789 Жыл бұрын
Enjoy your advice always. I have this attitude. If he loves me, he will treat me well and never cheat and if he cheats he never loved me.
@Deb16507 ай бұрын
Powerful point. It is not what they say, it is what they do.
@kekeondemand9933 Жыл бұрын
Your humour is unmatched ❤
@marielim82244 ай бұрын
We are long distance relationship..he told me I am the best girlfriend he ever have..I love him so much...he is everything to me..he called me everyday..we laugh together .he showed me his kitchen when we go face time..n his mom's cooking..
@kateroth7154 Жыл бұрын
Brian, you are an amazingly good and entertaining speaker. This material is perfect. Thank you so much!
@EyeLean5280 Жыл бұрын
So agree with your first point. My first fiance was super committed to me but extremely immature. I finally couldn't take it anymore and broke up with him.
@pinkmuffin9842 Жыл бұрын
Why am I even watching this, I'm currently planning my wedding. No seriously, I watched your videos a few years ago and now they are getting recommended to me again. I sure hope that's not a sign 😅😂
@beverlykingrey1698 Жыл бұрын
Never thought of it like that before but makes a lot of sense ❤ Thanks
@lanarea77342 ай бұрын
This really is good... I've been this way and it's a crazy way to live..
@beyummy Жыл бұрын
Im so happy I found you,I'm learning so much,I haven't been in the dating pool for 12 years I chose to be alone because of many reasons which was more important,but I have met someone that completely hit me out of the blue it happened and I feel so unprepared and also it's alot of baggage with both🙉and it's an emotional time for both of us,I know he likes me but he is going through something and is shutting me out,but then again we don't know each other so well yet,I feel so all over the place,lol i wanna run,but my heart is not allowing me to 😂
@livinggrace4148 Жыл бұрын
He “likes” you. He’s shutting you out. Would you shut yourself out? Emotions can take over what is right in front you. Much love and light ❤
@beyummy Жыл бұрын
@@livinggrace4148thank you I feel so dumb,like I don't know left or right,never been on such an emotional rollercoaster...like I can't navigate
@overit.4013 Жыл бұрын
Oh, run. Listen to yourself.
@patriciarose2342 Жыл бұрын
I'm in that stage right now. I don't want to abandon. I don't know whether to stay or go. How is it working out for you?
@beyummy Жыл бұрын
@@patriciarose2342 hi there I made the wise decision to talk to him and we are just friends we are actually doing all good,both living our lives but we just getting to know each other lol pressure had to be toned down,it seems to be working 😂 not overthinking 👌
@Bianca2802 Жыл бұрын
I am, to be honest, in two relationships at the same time. One is a toxic relationship since 7 months, he is in and out, hot and cold. after a 2 to 3 months love bombing phase it became toxic. This is why I tried to escape it when I was on holiday before 2 months and met someone in my holiday who is completely different. From day 1 he treated me with love and respect, he calls me every day,is open with his feelings, so I said to myself that this is the real deal, I feel supported, loved, everything. But.. But.. I don't love him the way I love my toxic boyfriend who is bread crumbing me since months and giving me the silent treatment most of the time. I don't even know if this is love or addiction. But it started with love, this is for sure. So I decided to let go of both of them but the one who is the nice guy doesn't want to let me go and keeps calling me. It's a weird situation
@danicaharley6273 Жыл бұрын
The only thing that is wrong, is that toxic guy. He doesn't deserve your time, thoughts or energy. Try mirroring his behaviour. Then you might see how useless he is. Unless you really want to ruin your love life
@jamiep.7666 Жыл бұрын
Maria, Watch all the relationship videos about how to stop obsessing about a guy. Watch them every day. Brian Nox is wonderful about this, and so are some of the others on KZfaq. The toxic one is sucking the life out of you. Take your time with the one who is pursuing you. Your feelings can change, even though it doesn't seem like it at the moment. PRAY about this as well!
@overit.4013 Жыл бұрын
It's addiction. It's a tactic to hook you on him. The toxic guy I mean. I have been there Sister. Please reflect a bit over why you need him to validete you so much.. Don't let yourself get treated like that, he dosen't give a shit sadly.
@followmissyee Жыл бұрын
You probably like the toxic guy cuz he is had to get....stay strong! Opt for the one that respects you and ur time....
@stephaniehenry5617 Жыл бұрын
The title I was like just ask them but after listening to what you said was so on point. I was just going thru this asking and they say they care but I was looking for the actions and now I believe them because they were showing it not just saying it.
@lauriesimonds9229 Жыл бұрын
Thanks Brian - the cocker spaniel analogy really hit home.
@themusicalhallway3422 Жыл бұрын
I honestly clicked on this thinking it was a pre-relationship type of video. There's a guy in my life who is such a great friend and a genuine gentleman. He has all the positive attributes talked about in this video, but what if the relationship between us is completely platonic? How am I to know if he likes me more than as a friend by the way he acts? What if I ruin the original friendship that we have if I bring up the topic of a closer relationship?
@josieclowes2208 Жыл бұрын
When I was first with my husband I once wondered 'but does he love me as much' 🤣 But then realised you cant ever know that🤣 Hes WITH me, that has to be enough!!!❤❤ Plus he treated me right else I wouldn't have wanted him. Had 20 wonderful years (like one long courtship, never Stop Flirting ❤🥰) till the Cancer took him 😢
@rebeccarpierce Жыл бұрын
I really needed this message today. Thank you. ❤️
@tinaclemence5543 Жыл бұрын
We have to learn to love ourselves first , ❤️ and only then protect our . ❤️ from being smashed . Nobody has to put up with being someones crutch , its draining and unfulfilling ..if they are , damanged its their responsibility to try and heal themselves first before entering anothers life . I know because i have been hurt myself very badly and i have worked extremely hard for years to heal myself and i did it 💔 😔.. But its true so many single/divorced men feel as if their live has been wrecked by ex partners and wives , and they find it hard to move on from pain and feelings of bitterness and resent . The relationship may start out well enough but eventually it begins to show it's ugly head ..
@judithcenters3162 Жыл бұрын
Always... great videos on everyday life. Thank you.
@jimjam8949 Жыл бұрын
Was with someone who drove me crazy with inconsistency of effort and actions v's no effort and actions. Guess I ended up feeling how he felt about relationship- confused. Once I realised it just didnt feel enough with him I ended it.
@chippychick62615 ай бұрын
Geert , I sometimes wonder if you ever did stand up comedy . Your timing is impeccable.
@barbarademauro3183 Жыл бұрын
I think you are right on in this video! Said beautifully….actions speak louder than words for me! Thank you😊
@jo-jomcfacts Жыл бұрын
I really appreciate your advice and how you communicate it. I have lots of respect for your work :)
@purepelican897210 ай бұрын
Brian, you are very wise. Thankyou. You told me exactly what I needed to hear.
@priyaanand8278 Жыл бұрын
Very good insight thank you!
@jenniferespiritu2172 Жыл бұрын
When the man makes you feel secure he means that he loves you so and respect your woman because he sees what his looking for and feel content to have you in his life because of her ability .
@tinaprice848 Жыл бұрын
I have a beautiful conundrum of a guy I came out of a narcissistic relationship that was abusive for 27 years he passed away and then I met this wonderful man he spoils me he takes care of me he makes me feel safe he makes me feel loved but he has little interest in sex and enjoys cuddling more which is mind-blowing to me I don't understand it because every guy I've ever met all they want is sex and I'm loving it because there's no pressure for it and if I'm needing release he AIDS me with it but he can turn it off once I have my release he can turn it off like you wasn't interested in all and says let's cuddle and we'll spend the rest of the night wrapped up in each other and talking and then doze off to sleep together I just don't know what to think of it
@jodyjackson5475 Жыл бұрын
Low T
@Bianca-sw5id Жыл бұрын
I love your 🙂 straight to the truth method Brian , 🥰 you tell us the truth : there are many fish in the sea 🥰 , but it's very difficult to move , on if you are not sure if you have not done anything actually wrong , that he still wants to communicate with you even though as friends , but why do men , not catch up and communicate properly , knowingly stay in a relationship with you , knowing how you feel , and then turn around and say you are friends...
@Blbird25 Жыл бұрын
Exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for your wisdom.
@MichelleStrickland598 ай бұрын
Wish I would have found this channel sooner. We need to hear this stuff.
@rhondamckinley772111 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for the reality check!!!
@marketapaulikova8476 Жыл бұрын
Yes, agree. Anyway, even though I felt great, he made me feel secure, after 3 weeks of consistent interest and intense meetings he asked me for money. I was totally shocked. In 20 minutes he broke up with me. I was blind probably, I did not find out his intensions.
@nitikasheoran9861 Жыл бұрын
Thank you , you have helped me so much. It's time to either be treated better or time for adios
@sallymartinez8237 Жыл бұрын
I've learned on a first date, if the man talks about this women wants him this other women is perusing him and he's 20 years older and she's gorgeous. I walk... Cause that will start my addiction to comparing myself, and a ton of hurt that sends my self esteem down a steep hill. I've learned to value myself. Let them get their model looking babe. She's probably a figment of his imagination. Cause most men out there think all these women want them
@sassyc2882 Жыл бұрын
This is sooooo reassuring Brian. Thank you ❤🙏
@secretshaman189 Жыл бұрын
Great analogy with the pet dog, so true!
@christinegeltner972910 ай бұрын
It's never across the board. Never one size fits all. It all depends on the person you are in a relationship with. If an avoidance attachment is the issue, it's never going to be normal. If you want to stay with that person, many issues must simply be overlooked. It's not going to be the norm. Just the way it is.
@saradf Жыл бұрын
This question is haunting my mind lately .. he treats me well but turns cold out of nowhere, comeback with great excuses ! 6 months together on and off ,i don’t know if i should end things because he’s an avoidant and I’m anxious. i feel neglected but once i vocalise it trying to cut him off , he puts efforts to win me back then it lasts few weeks before the same patterns repeating again 😔 it triggers past traumas i become needy , angry and full of resentment . What a struggle !
@AFAskygoddess Жыл бұрын
*He is displaying classic narcissistic behavior.* They love b0mb you to get you "hooked", like a drug. Once you are, the devaluing starts, followed by the discard stage. When they want some more supply, they come back, and love b0mbing you. It's a game for them. You fall for it. They know you're hooked on their drug. Then they devalue you. And the cycle continues until YOU WALK AWAY.
@SamStone1964 Жыл бұрын
Run, don't walk. You are an unhealthy combination.
@tequilabumbum4373 Жыл бұрын
Yeah girl you need to put yourself first. Walk away.
@chinazaroseline5844 Жыл бұрын
Why nat take a break
@overit.4013 Жыл бұрын
Ghost him. I mean it. Don't waste your valuable time on an asshole. Take it from your big sister who's been there ey?!
@KmNry Жыл бұрын
Loving the humour. Thanks for this eye opener. And I'm married!
@HeptaLanguages Жыл бұрын
You are so calming. please make more videos ... please!
@leonita2252 Жыл бұрын
I simply think... you're Brilliant Brian, thank you! ❤️
@Madefromscratchhomestead Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video he does all the good things you say I suppose I need to calm down I feel comfortable safe and loved ❤❤
@demzwordz11 ай бұрын
I was talking to my boyfriend, I must have made a comment (forgot what I said) and he asked me if I had doubts about him and if I did, why didn't I talk to him about it. I told him I didn't speak to him about it because it had nothing to do with his actions. Whatever doubts I felt were based on my insecurities and they were things that I needed to work on myself. My boyfriend is great and shows me by his actions everyday that he loves me.
@jainy1707 Жыл бұрын
This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.
@marissahumblytherealistone8950 Жыл бұрын
U ROCK HUN🤗😝🤩 ♥ KEEP up the GREAT WORK AND ADVICE!!!! WE ♥ YOU!!!! ALSO, GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY 🙏
@sism3028 Жыл бұрын
You are so good! So informative! Thank you.
@msnicola1982 Жыл бұрын
Thank you x I have anxious attachment and need to check in every now and then to get myself back x