Liked how George Simon admitted that he isn't (or wasn't) very good at setting boundaries because all his buttons got pushed so didn't respond in loving ways. That's humility.

Once you decide to face your shit, there’s no going back. If you don’t have the guts to face your shit, there’s no going forward.

Basically, they think they are a God to be worshiped and you are there to serve them no matter how it hurts and costs others. Thank you for your insight just great.

I am laughing for my own buttons were so pushed just a few days ago by a narcissist. I couldn't even say anything to modify their behavior because I was in the grips of my own anger (to my astonishment and regret). It was somewhat reassuring to hear that even Dr. Simon's buttons were pushed by these people:) at one stage. Heaven help us. Quite literally

Narcissism is one of the major problems in the world today & it destroys the average authentic person. Thank you both so much for all your info. So many people are in need of it. Now why didn't a man like yourselves come into my early life that I could have married & I never would have had to deal with the curse of narcissism. ❤️🧑

Some great pearls of wisdom - (thank you) like, "they fully understand what you want but they don't have a heart to do it" so it's a waste of time trying making them see - they don't care.

You know how excited i am for this, Dr Carter! I strongly believe the two of you have opened professional doors to helping people understand a pandemic most people have no clue is taking place in the world. I pray for both your expertise to be taught more and more on the college level so that narcissism becomes a condition to be addressed and not just a word tossed around in a heated discussion and so that more people (including narcissists) can get the appropriate help they need. My copies of “In Sheep’s Clothing” and “Enough about You, Let’s Talk about Me” are so covered in notes, they are barely legible now haha. For me, these two copies are two of my greatest treasures.

Wonderful guest! His cat analogy provided my "light bulb" moment, and l was finally able to accept that my nex was doing her evil deeds intentionally. It is her game.

I am in tears processing all that was said here. I feel so blessed over the last year to really see narcissism and to have received enough validation, that I have the confidence to continue forward, trying to survive narcissistic relationships, one day at a time. I wish I could put into words how overwhelmed I am at this moment. Thank you, with all of my being, I am grateful.

When I left my first narcissist after 3 years of marriage I found his book and gifted it to 5 people. Unfortunately, I got sucked into a covert type of narcissist even after reading and absorbing his book. I then spent 7 years with him and had 2 kids. Oy!! The therapeutic trauma he mentioned was the worst and completely broke my beyond his abuse at home. It robbed me of HOPE in the worst way. I’ve experienced that more than once, the second time involved my child which was even more heartbreaking. Please, please, don’t go to therapy with them, get it for YOU!! 💛🙏🏼

I say that we submit our support to the absolute necessity of establishing a double Nobel Peace Prize In Psychology to be awarded to Dr. Carter and Dr. Simon. It is an absolute 💯necessity to have this category included for the good of all humanity. Thank both of you very much for this tremendously informative dialogue.

Wasting my breath... wasting my time... wasting my life! DONE with them!

Sounds about right. That covert that discarded me knew he was a narcissist and told me he didn’t care. He was happy as is. He suggested I get help.

Around the time I was facing the reality of having to divorce my ex narcissist husband I came across "In Sheep's Clothing" and it was like everything about these dysfunctional people that didn't sit right with me was validated. Around 7 minutes in this video the topic of bringing this spouse to therapy- I was also so very fortunate that when I found a marriage & family therapist that the woman I saw immediately knew what I was going through. She seemed to almost have trouble staying in her seat when I described everything that was going on and it was as if she needed me to know it wasn't me. And I needed to know. I really started to think it was me. Finally someone knew what I was going through. This was back around 2010, so not much info readily out there like there is now about narcissism. And my husband refused to go, and instead gaslighted me- or attempted to, by saying he went to a therapist of his own and said I was the problem, blah blah... that therapist was not a therapist, it was just his mother who was stopping him from seeing a therapist with me because he told her about it. But this book helped give me the courage I needed to stay out of the gaslighting and realize it wasn't me! Me being upset didn't mean I caused the issue making me upset- which is what he always tried to get me to believe. If I just stopped bothering him about actually moving in with me since we were married then he'd move in with me. I silently suffered for months, reading, seeing this therapist... he never changed. He just wanted to be with his mommy dearest. So yes, he was enmeshed but was every bit a narcissist as his mother. This book was like a light in the darkness for me.

Character impaired personalities, that's a new term to me and it's accurate. That likely includes more than just narcissists. This was a great discussion. I'll have to check out Dr. Simon's book, In Sheep's Clothing, sounds like a great read.

What a gift and blessing! Thank you….top two takeaways - you can’t convince someone with a character disorder to “see” things your way (rationally, ethically) because they think their way of being is just fine. And….act different to think different. Such a great contribution! Thank you!!

Oh WOOWWWW. THIS WAS SO GOOD!! The revelatory statement that THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.. they just don't want to change. This was so good. The whole thing. Bravo 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏

Dr. Simon’s laugh is so jolly! ☺️

Yes, it took me awhile to realize the narcissist I was dealing with wanted to make me think all of his behavior was actually normal. Next is the attack and trying to convince you that the blame lies on your doorstep.

I have an audio version of this book. Made me realise how utterly naive I was and how other people may have seen me as stupid. Really opened my eyes (and ears!) into manipulative people. Look forward to this video thank you

What a wonderful pairing. Thank you both so much, I so appreciated the opportunity to learn from you both!

I learned that the brother who (was) a Sunday School teacher, and Bible study leader, who walked away from counselling to save his marriage and family, who is now divorced, who's adult children don't want to be around him, nor do I, is a Grandiose Narcissist. That finally puts into words what I have been putting up with my entire life. He is even more dangerous to be around than I thought. The 2 narc parents had 11 Children; I have been living with this crap from day one.

So happy to see the numbers of viewers rising over the years!

One more additional comment is humiliating others, insulting the lady working at the grocery store, proud of being the bully in school, pushing buttons constantly and laughing at his insults towards me right in front of my adult children. Thank you so much for all your videos Dr C and your guest speakers and all the work you do.

Dr Carter, how come there are so many narcissists but so few doctors/other educated people, that don't know a thing about this huge problem? If they do, why don't they talk about it?!

Dr. Simon: "Narcissists have heard it 10,000 times before" what others have seen in their behaviour. So we get to save our breath and our nerves right out of the gate. Awesome!

Go, Dr. C! Keep delving into narcissism; there are many levels to explore. God bless you for the work you are doing!

Dr, Carter, Thank you for bringing Dr. Simon on. He is a clinician that brought other things to the table. All in all, it reaffirmed your message which is that curing a narc. is not done by untrained regular folks in this world, which is most of us. His word, 'character' disorder is what everyone needs to understand, which is these folks do have character issues within them. I appreciate you bringing him on. Wonderful!

This is exciting with 2 docs with slightly different views of narcissists! Love it ❤️

“ Suck you dry and fill You with them selves” Sounds like a horror movie (which it was😮) Thank you Dr. C, and you are a guest. Very informative😊 Radical acceptance👍 Accepting self as well also has to be radical!!!😊 🦋SURVIVOR 🦋

I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for this one. I've had enough intimidation & manipulation to last a life time. On a healing journey now. Can't wait.

Please do a program on setting boundaries. I have next door neighbors who live very close and are enjoying messing with me when I work in my yard. I' Please help those of us better understand our own weaknesses so we can start to gain strength and resilience around button pushers.

Love when you are a guest of someone or have a guest. This dynamic is great learning.

"It's a matter of the heart" So true! They're heartless! Thank you so much for this video👍

Really am learning a lot about being narcissistic, thank you Doc 😊, I actually thought my husband was bi polar, now I understand 👍, I love listening to the Doc, never knew this much caused him to treat me so horribly!! The pain and deflecting is absurd, I'm at the point where I'm ready to get away!! I've prayed about this every day and night, I won't put up with this the rest of my life!! Thank you Doc Carter for having this wonderful man on💯🙏🤎

This discussion is so spot on. The more you know the more you can protect yourself and realize what is really going on.

The main take away that I got from this video is they see but they don’t care. That explains a lot!

My husband, soon to be ex actually called my mother a “wolf in sheep’s clothing“ definitely projection, what a cruel thing to tell your wife about her mother. These dark souls have no empathy, so happy to be freed from this. Thank you both for sharing such important knowledge and wisdom 🙏beyond grateful!

In Sheep's Clothing is an awesome book!!! My parents manage their images expertly as I struggle to recover. I will not quit, though!!

Dr. Carter, if I may, finding your KZfaq videos has given me the knowledge and understanding what I’m dealing with. If I didn’t find this, we’ll, I would have taken my own life. I knew something was just not right, and I knew it wasn’t me. Although still married to a grandiose man, I’m working so hard to leave, then divorce, then to heal some more , but I do know that I will not truly heal 100 percent, for the trauma ran to deep, for too long. But knowledge is truly power, for I am still alive to finish this battle. Thank you so so so much for your love and care, it is felt deeply through your videos. Many hugs 🤗

It's more powerful to act your way into a new way of thinking than it is to think your way into a new way of acting. I need to practice this!

In today’s world it’s a tremendous comfort to find so much cumulative wisdom in one place. Thank you! 🙏

“We don’t know how to help.” Bingo!

I really appreciated Dr Simon saying that his buttons got pushed many many times before he learned to figure it out. That was really helpful.

I listened to the audiobook “In sheeps clothing”. All I can say is WOW, we all need this book. Thank you to both Dr’s for today’s video. I would love to see you do a video together on the boundary issue.

I've heard the trouble is most people don't believe there is something called Narcissism. I cant find anyone at home to talk to me about it. 99 % havn't a clue.

I have to accept that my sister who sees nothing wrong with lying about me and my family and running a smear campaign against us for 30 years, no exaggeration, knows what she is doing is wrong but just doesn't care? I hope she gets to experience this treatment herself some day.

I've read books by each of you guys and subscribe to your channels. I am more grateful than I can express for the insight I have gained. My father was/is an absolute monster, as was/is my ex husband, and I believed everything was my fault for decades. I knew they weren't "normal" but I always thought if only I could try harder, if I could prove myself, it would all be ok. Dr. Carter, I watch and rewatch your videos when I stumble and I appreciate you so much. And I've highlighted so much of my copy of Character Disturbance that it's just all yellow now. It's really helped my mom feel closure too. I really can't thank you both enough.

I never realized why my life have turned a real turmoil. I stil am healing my wounds. Thanks to both of you for enlightining tbe reason of my pains with a narcissist husband. Many thanks.

Great interview. Two pillars in the field right there. Thanks gentlemen!

Superb! That bit about acting a new way and your thinking will change rather than trying to think differently towards the goal of better behavior: classic 12 step. There's a saying in the program---Fake it til you make it. I used to say that to my ex to get him out of chronically bad, defeatist moods. He hated hearing me say that. For me, acting differently worked. When I wanted to develop more patience, I deliberately slowed down all my movements and activities just enough so I could be in the present moment, not rushing. Over time, I found that patience began to develop ever so slowly. Progress, not perfection is another 12 step expression. Thanks for a great video Dr.C and Dr. S.

Oh boy! Wonderful people together! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

character disturbance is right When I experience characters like this I am disturbed! Variations of narcissism is right- just as there are variations of everything

Thank you for having Dr. Simon as your guest Dr.Carter I learned a lot today!

This conversation is so correct. Narcissists are don’t do as I do do as I say. I was told by my Narc friend that I wanted them to change but it’s not happening because this is who I am. I just couldn’t deal with the constant changes in their behaviour.

I bought and read both of Dr Simon's books. They helped me look at the family dysfunctions as a character disorder in the narcissistic members which was so helpful to me. That was years ago and that point of view is still true today. The lack of developed morals and principles undercut everything that is good in the world.

Great to see the two of you together!

Thank you for this upload. I could have listened to the two of you for eight hours straight! I just had a festering blowup with a narcissist today. Sadly, it was a neighbor. So distancing myself wasn't possible. I tried "boundaries", but we all know that doesn't stop a narcissist. So now I'm sure I'll get the "live b0mbing" phase of the NPD manipulation. So sick of it all.

Very interesting and you both covered so much ground, thank you! Towards the end of the video Dr. Carter mentioned "boundaries" and 8 months ago I went no contact with my narcissistic mother-in-law and I've blocked her number so she can't call me anymore, but *now* she's trying to pull me back in again. A few days ago my MIL told my husband that she ..."wants to be close to me and be my friend" ....which is a bunch of hooey. It's hard because my husband actually believers her. I think she's just having a hard time with my boundary and she's uncomfortable with the fact that she can't call me up and spoil my day anymore--like an addict needing a fix or something. I've been married to her son for almost 35 years (in December) and shes had PLENTY of opportunities to be "close" to me or be my "friend"; instead she's done nothing but hurt me by trying to break up my marriage. She actually tried to play match maker with my husband's old girlfriend during our 9th year of marriage and REFUSED to apologize. And she still hasn't apologized. So her BIG chance to make things right with me and be my "friend" has come and gone--that ship has sailed. And I was telling my husband that I have forgiven people for some pretty awful things and let them back into my life but only when they changed the awful behavior, and from where things stand right now, my mother-in-law isn't even sorry for all the hurt she's caused so why would I want to give it another go? I would be foolish to do that. You know, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, etc. So I don't think she wants to be my friend at all and she's only telling my husband that so she appears genuine and to play the victim. I know all of this, the problem is that my husband doesn't know this. I know I can't control his thought process but I can control what I allow into my life. I know he's disappointed that I won't cave-in to her request and it makes me sad that he's disappointed, but I have to stick to my guns where she's concerned. She hasn't changed and she never will. My MIL is 98 and very set in her narcissistic tendencies. Hubby will come around I'm not worried about it, I'm just expressing what a lot of other people have gone through when they decided to go no contact and how the narcissist will try to pull them back in. I know I'm not alone. Take care dear reader :)

Loving the perspective that therapy related to Victorian guilt is not so relevant now, as society has changed. Loving the idea of adult narcissistic traits as evidence of delayed character development. As in alcoholic treatment, therapy for personality disorders requires buy-in from the disordered person. People with narcissism who have supply are happy as clams. The poor supply person is unheard. Best to leave them to crash and figure it out. Let the supply person move on. Life is short. Boundary disputes are just too hard. Loved this perspective.

I love the way they said stand your ground. This is all about control. Can’t be controlled anymore. Or manipulated.

Act your way into a new way of thinking and don't think your way into a way of acting! Brilliant. Actions speak louder.

Dr.C is gracious host. It was very satisfying to be a witness to this discussion. Thank you 🙏

Woah, thank you Dr.’s for a very enlightening session! I’m truly blown away… in sheeps clothing ! 💯👍

Your channel is such an amazing help and wealth of knowledge. Thank you for all that you do!!!! ♥️

This was absolutely tremendous DR Les and DR Simon, Low awareness and insight They are blind to themselves, Thank you so much for this, Peace, Love and respect to you both, Thank you universe, All glory to the most high :-)

I am greatful this information is coming into public awareness. I was not so lucky to have this when I needed it. My Father. Sister and ex husband all different types of narcissists I am over 50. I needed this in my 20's

This was so excellent, Dr C! Thank you for inviting Dr. Simon. When he took that deep breath when you asked him about allowing the narcissists to push his buttons- I felt sooooooo understood. He gets it!! 💕

I've had so many narcissists in my life, some of whom I didn't "choose." I feel dirtied and slimed by the way they treated me. And I wasted so much breath trying to change their foul little minds. Going forward, no more narcs in my life.

I love the generous spirit of sharing other experts with your audience. Great interview

What a treat, thank you so much for having george on and for having ross on earlier, all three of you have helped and still are helping me so much.

I'm 64 years old and I feel like I been chased by narcissist all my life from my school years to marriage years, to best friends dumping me, to my spouses family of narcissists and on to scapegoating and narcissistic abuse in my family of origin after both parents passed away. But looking back at my childhood I can see signs of how a couple of my siblings were narcissistic to me even in childhood. Problems with mom and dad also from time to time even though they loved me. I am left with only 1 of my sons to be around. I feel pretty alone and am not a very happy woman.

Wow! Listening and watching this has been so enlightening! Understanding that narcissists see but don’t care how they hurt other people points to a rotten heart. Where is the compassion, where is the remorse? Where is love in the heart? Or, if they were ever religious, how about “love thy neighbor as yourself”? I am going to save this presentation to watch again. It is a gift that keeps on giving.

Looking forward to seeing more from you guys

I absolutely loved your conversation Gentlemen. Thank you so much. Change in action leads to change in thinking. I really agree.

This held many, many keys to doors I didn’t even know were LOCKED in my heart and mind. I hope and pray this will be received and utilized by my pastors and family. Deep thanks and blessings to you both!

MY SISTER TOLD ME WHEN WE WERE YOUNG THAT SHE WAS SUPERIOR TO EVERYBODY ELSE, A SUPERIOR BEING, SMARTER THAN ANYONE ELSE!

So looking forward to this conversation. thank you both for all you do.

When I saw this, I couldn't wait to comment, even though I haven't watched the video, yet! I read this book almost two years ago, after I got the news that my narcissistic father passed away. I was in a state of shock (literally), and not in a good place emotionally, when I heard this news; especially since I went "no contact" with my family and did even not know that he was in his last days! Coincidently, my husband and I were staying in a hotel when I read this book, due to home remodeling that was to start two days later. It was the perfect "retreat" as I was "holed up" in that room, reading that book. Through the grace of God, I pulled through. This book changed my life. I was forced for the first time to take a hard look at myself and to face who I truly was. It was not pretty. Dr. Simon doesn't "pull any punches" as they say, and takes on the idea that some people just lack good character, something that thought leaders in the narcissistic recovery movement have yet to do. Also...read his other book, "The Judas Syndrome". It's a good one.

Dr. Carter thank you for having this conversation with Dr. Simon. It enforces the tactics, behaviors, and boundaries I will need in place right from the beginning with the many new relationships I will be forming within the next nine months.

How awesome to get to hear some shop talk, soak up some wisdom, and have some fun!

Drs Simon and Carter, this was amazing -- I would love to see you both again. You are wonderful separately, but you are dynamite together, The audience loved this collab.

When an adult tries to learn a new skill such as playing the guitar or learning a language they are often not able to embrace mistakes as a tool to success. We must practice to learn and reward ourselves for the smallest successes. This helps further advancement and avoids a quitting mindset. I was reminded of this during certain parts of your conversation. It can be applied to the attempts to change habits in therapy!

I agree with Dr Simon. They are aware of the right thing to do. They just don’t have the heart (empathy). Sadly it’s not something that can be faked. Authentic people will see through it. Having a relationship with one of them is empty.

I love act your way into thinking instead of thinking your way into acting. Reminds me of “fake it too you make it!”

Wow! Humility changes everything.

I Am in a painful withdrawal from both my son and brother. Thanks for these videos they help so much

Thank you gentleman !

I love the humility and true honesty in this conversation. It is so darn true, we can be same way. Again, we have to keep a close watch on ourselves.

Thanks for this interesting exchange of ideas between two knowledgeable, dedicated, and perceptive professionals. I love the idea that behaving well can help me learn to think well. I can also see that being “unbudgeable” could serve as a catalyst for growth in a manipulative person. If their current tactics do not work, they might actually have to think about their mode of operation. This sounds like what Dr. C is talking about when he speaks of calm confidence, and standing firm in DRC. Cheers to you both for using your many years of clinical experience to see more than the textbooks currently offer. From the depths of my heart, Live Long and Prosper.

Regarding the question, "Do narcissists know they're narcissists?" I've known two self-described narcissists in my younger years. One told me, "Your problem is that you care about people. I don't care about anyone." I was suicidal at the time, in therapy because of my relationship with him. The other was a long-time friend, who said, "I never truly engage with anyone. I've learned to pretend to care." In later years (I'm 75 now) I came to divide humans into two types of people - those with empathy, and those without. It's not science, but my first clue is "Do they listen, and actually respond and converse without interrupting me, or changing the subject to suit their inner yammering while I'm talking?" “The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.” ― Fran Lebowitz

Thank you so much for this DR Les and George, Absolutely tremendous, Clarity, Peace, love, Respect to you both, Thank you universe 🦄🌚🌹💚😍👁😊♘💜🌈❤💛🌲🌝🐉🌷🐶👽🐎☘🕊😃

Dr. C and Dr. Simon are the best duo since peanut butter met jelly.

I LOVE how he admit.he dnt kno how to HELP. He admitting his humanity many Dr wont .kudos!!Dr George humanity made me LOL. No fear no anxieties ad he accept WHAT he is unable to change.I would like more of this kinda energy. with Dr George.TY

I agree with Dr. Simon's view that fear and insecurity often do not drive the decision to abuse but "a lack of inhibition to attack." This self-control should have been acquired in childhood but did not since conforming to societal norms would mean -- submission. Yes, yes, and yes again. Feeling above from an early age.

Drs. Carter and Simon, on this video , covered so much ground about those on the Narcissist. spectrum and the people they prey on. There is definitely something in the personality of the people the Narcissists are drawn too. When you have had this unpleasant experience, you ask yourself, WHY? Since the narcissist is clever enough to use gaslighting and other schemes to be the puppeteer; while you allow yourself be put under this spell because of what's in your heart, and your emotions. They are masters of disguise,as Dr. Carter has mentioned and the person you think seems like a sweet man may be just the opposite.

When I was dealing with my narcissist father who was dying and attempting to shift his shame and guilt on to me, I used the strategy of not moving. The rest of my family came to my father’s defense and put me as the persecutor in their drama triangle, making him the victim and them all the hero. It was impossible to convey to my family my intentions because they were blind on purpose.

THANK YOU FOR HAVING GEORGE ON HE IS WONDERFUL !!!

What a great session! Thank you both. Fascinating speaker and kind respectful rapport. Go team healthy.

A wonderful exchange. Thank you both.