Indiana Jones 5 - No More Heroes

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The Little Platoon

The Little Platoon

Күн бұрын

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny takes one of cinema's most charming, optimistic heroes and gives him the Jake Skywalker treatment. Its deserved failure completes the set for Kathleen Kennedy and Lucasfilm. This film makes Kingdom of the Crystal Skull look good. It should never have been made.
Thanks to @ozkii95 and @MrBrownAlliance for help with the editing!
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Timestamps
Intro: He Belongs in a Museum: 00:00 - 11:25
Indiana Jones & the De-Aged Face: 11:26 - 14:34
Planes, Trains and Nazi Mobiles: 14:35 - 22:00
Religious McGuffins vs Science McMuffins: 22:01 - 31:00
Jurgen Voller is Dead: 31:01 - 38:20
Indiana Jones & The Prologue of Doom: 38:21 - 41:51
Now I Am Become Plinkett: 41:52 - 47:30
Henry Jones' Moon Landing: 47:31 - 57:02
Helena Shaw Does Not Belong: 57:03 - 01:00:35
Jurgen Voller is Alive: 01:00:35 - 01:08:02
The CIA Has Me on a List: 01:08:03 - 01:10:35
The Moral Clarity of the Nazis: 01:10:36 - 01:17:01
Boyd with the Pistol in the Library: 01:17:02 - 01:27:06
Trigger-Happy Crackers: 01:27:07 - 01:32:00
Horse 1-0 Train: 01:32:01 - 01:35:18
Jurgen has Completed Space: 01:35:19 - 01:38:40
Suddenly, Sallah! 01:38:41 - 01:44:16
Indiana Jones & The Last Flashback: 01:44:17 - 01:47:00
Phoebe Waller-Bridge Isn't Funny: 01:47:01 - 01:51:23
Tuktuk Wacky Races: 01:51:24 - 02:01:14
Don't Trust Nazis (or the CIA): 02:01:15 - 02:04:26
Helena vs Mutt: 02:04:27 - 02:09:07
Puss In Boats: 02:09:08 - 02:12:35
Indy Forgets About Magic: 02:12:36 - 02:17:32
Alas Poor Mutt, I Knew Him: 02:17:33 - 02:24:12
Would You Like to Buy My Boat? 02:24:13 - 02:31:29
Nazis Have Eyes You Moron: 02:31:30 - 02:34:52
The Ear Wax of Dionysius: 02:34:53 - 02:39:13
The Tomb of Archimedes: 02:39:14 - 02:49:44
Let's Kill Hitler: 02:49:45 - 02:57:08
CONTINENTAL DRIFT! 02:57:09 - 03:00:38
Shoot Romans, Save Hitler: 03:00:39 - 03:06:03
Indiana Jones and the Assisted Suicide: 03:06:04 - 03:13:20
And Now Marion For Some Reason: 03:13:21 - 03:16:10
Conclusion: Jake Jones & the Phoebe Waller-Bridge of Doom: 03:16:11 - 03:20:25
P.S. Come On Kathleen: 03:20:26 - 03:32:20

Пікірлер: 2 700
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
Thanks to Ozkii & Mr Brown for their help with this video. Links to both channels are in the description. Give them a sub! Audio might be a bit peaky for the first 30 minutes because I am an idiot.
@FortheSakeoftheComments
@FortheSakeoftheComments 10 ай бұрын
lol - "audio might be a bit peaky for longer than most videos on KZfaq but will be only a small fraction of this Mauler-esque epic."
@mr.dunavich9482
@mr.dunavich9482 10 ай бұрын
Let me check my schedule for the next 73 minutes; I need time to prep myself for another round of commentary over a disappointing film.
@samuelaritan3766
@samuelaritan3766 10 ай бұрын
If The Last Crusade ended somewhere in 1939, they had at least two years for other stories before the capstone story of The Spear of Destiny as a Monuments Man during WWII. 1939- The Shroud of Turin 1940 - The Armaments of Kings Young Shortround asks Indy for help to stop and English excursion from stealing Chinese relics by way of Hong Kong. He could be becoming an archeologist himself, and we could learn Indy was helping him pay for school etc. (I recognize timeline might be iffy for this plot, but it would have been cool to see Shortround again, and it would structure the second trilogy in a similar manner as the first one, as well as injecting new myths from around the world.) 1942-1944 The Spear of Destiny Opening scene, Indiana Jones chase scene in France where he learns about the presence of The Spear of Destiny, (but they don’t completely ruin the story we actually wanted by calling it fake). He also has an internal struggle of what museums should and actually do represent, because he abhors the concept of Hitler’s museum and and how they were getting the relics to fill it.
@zatoichi3652
@zatoichi3652 10 ай бұрын
That cia drone bit was hilarious! Well done👏👍
@Cursed0rDamned
@Cursed0rDamned 10 ай бұрын
The flute was a nice touch I loved it
@alariaaurora8456
@alariaaurora8456 10 ай бұрын
You know, if 10 years ago someone told me that “in the next 10 years Hollywood will become so shitty that you’d rather spend 3.5 hours watching a critique of your favorite franchise rather than watching an actual movie from that franchise” i’d call him crazy but look where we are
@o.w.i.m
@o.w.i.m 10 ай бұрын
I was thinking nearly the same thing but more like 15 years back.. cause only ten and I'd be going, "Hmm, yeah that doesn't sound totally implausible."
@Nevyn515
@Nevyn515 10 ай бұрын
True, because I enjoyed this and am definitely not going to bother watching the film.
@JohnDoe-vm5rb
@JohnDoe-vm5rb 10 ай бұрын
I'm not even 42 minutes into this and I already want to stop. Not because the essay that doubles up as a hatchet job is bad, but because christ this film it's critiquing.
@slain1930
@slain1930 10 ай бұрын
Had this thought 15 mins in I believe most watch cause we want it to get better
@leonardpimentel5865
@leonardpimentel5865 10 ай бұрын
The best thing to come out of Hollywood in the last 10 years is, however indirectly, this channel.
@master_samwise
@master_samwise 10 ай бұрын
The takedown of Disney as the anti-Indiana Jones who simply cannot leave relics in the museum is absolutely poetic.
@cyruscowan912
@cyruscowan912 10 ай бұрын
Love your content, Master Samwise.
@loicbosman4739
@loicbosman4739 10 ай бұрын
Yep. Also I watch your videos, hellew
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
Thanks! It really began as a face melting joke and the rest of the metaphor just unspooled itself. We’d love to have you on BSUP if you’re ever free on a Monday night?
@master_samwise
@master_samwise 10 ай бұрын
@@loicbosman4739 Hello there!
@master_samwise
@master_samwise 10 ай бұрын
@@TheLittlePlatoon I would be happy to join you, Cynic, and friends!
@Nobody-ud6ou
@Nobody-ud6ou 10 ай бұрын
I always interpreted "it belongs in a museum" as "it needs to be protected and displayed so everyone can see important parts of the past with their own eyes." I don't think it's hard to see why it applies to old movies.
@pensandshakers
@pensandshakers 9 ай бұрын
This same sentiment has been repeated by prominent Egyptologists - actual Egyptians, to be clear - on why Egyptian artifacts should remain on display in foreign museums. Because seeing the past inspires curiosity about it and a desire to understand the culture. And that is, ultimately, the point of preserving history.
@shcdemolisher
@shcdemolisher 7 ай бұрын
@@pensandshakers Indeed! Preserving the past so you protect the future.
@buntado6
@buntado6 4 ай бұрын
@@shcdemolisher "There's people that prefer to destroy heresy than to preserve history", that's the most important line to me.
@SammEater
@SammEater Ай бұрын
​@@pensandshakersAs someone that loves egyptian history my curiosity pretty much was born from films like Indiana Jones and going in museums back in my school days.
@Kurai_69420
@Kurai_69420 9 ай бұрын
I still can't get over how the nazis' plan is to go back in time and kill Hitler. This isn't even a shark jump, this is a rocket-powered motorcycle doing a triple backflip over a pool full of cloned megalodons.
@ShadowSonic2
@ShadowSonic2 7 ай бұрын
It's smarter than most other Nazi Time Travel stories.
@thatguy-dh1qh
@thatguy-dh1qh 5 ай бұрын
​@@ShadowSonic2only because the bar is so low 😂
@vercing1324
@vercing1324 5 ай бұрын
Theres a Lot of modern nazis who addimited Hitler was a stupid... They are all stupid.
@ZeitgeistRuminator
@ZeitgeistRuminator 3 ай бұрын
Hey Mr Statham, I think I've got an idea for The Meg 3....
@mcroach2198
@mcroach2198 2 ай бұрын
No it kinda makes sense since most of the bad decisions in the second half of the war were direct orders by Hitler. A lot of SS officers wanted to get rid of him by the end so that makes a bit of sense
@hothotheat3000
@hothotheat3000 10 ай бұрын
Makes no sense for a wannabe rebel like Mutt to enlist in the Army. He’d be the last guy to go to Vietnam.
@AceHaBeats
@AceHaBeats 10 ай бұрын
Unless his dad really didn't want him to, in which case...
@rubydoo3307
@rubydoo3307 10 ай бұрын
Add to this how George Lucas and his generation viewed Vietnam in general, you know he wouldn't write it like that.
@Gloops01
@Gloops01 10 ай бұрын
And Mutt, aged 29 when the war starts (assuming he's the same age as Shia LaBeouf was in Crystal Skull, set in 1957), would be too old for the draft, which was 18-26.
@corbin_4738
@corbin_4738 10 ай бұрын
Maybe I missed it or am writing my comment too soon, but how did his son die? I know he said off screen, but did they give a reason?
@kingstevie2355
@kingstevie2355 10 ай бұрын
​@@corbin_4738 No reason is said. Just that he died in the Vietnam War. The quickest way for Disney to write him off and give no story for the poor dude
@ghostprojekt
@ghostprojekt 10 ай бұрын
"And that's how I saved Hitler" -Indiana Jones, 2023.
@matthewcollins4773
@matthewcollins4773 10 ай бұрын
He did get the man's autograph. Clearly a fan.
@Garrus1995
@Garrus1995 10 ай бұрын
Saving Hitler isn’t a bad thing to do. After all, Hitler did kill Hitler.
@alexfriedman918
@alexfriedman918 10 ай бұрын
If Hitler hadn’t existed, to whom would the Progressives compare all of us?
@LilyRose8959
@LilyRose8959 9 ай бұрын
Better to let the guy you know will lose go on than risking a new one succeeding and completely changing life as we know it.
@MeMe-bg8ci
@MeMe-bg8ci 2 ай бұрын
@@Garrus1995😂👏🏽
@PhattyBolger
@PhattyBolger 10 ай бұрын
Helena: "You're an aging grave-robber" Indy: "Part time"
@HL3AlcAida
@HL3AlcAida Ай бұрын
With social support because i never payed in the pension found.
@Max-lx2bh
@Max-lx2bh 4 ай бұрын
To this day...hearing his dad call him by his real name and telling him to let it go still hits me hard. Between Indys shocked face and his dad's I finally get it now...perfect ending to their story.
@cronid9623
@cronid9623 10 ай бұрын
Rachel Weisz, in The Mummy, perfectly captured the "educated, elegant and beautiful heroine" far better than Waller-Bridge could ever dream of. And she never seemed out of place in the film's time period.
@SpartyCubsFan
@SpartyCubsFan 10 ай бұрын
Fantastic point and example
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
The Mummy is still the best Indiana Jones Film since Last Crusade.
@bethanywallace8575
@bethanywallace8575 9 ай бұрын
Evelyn is one of the best characters ever
@AR-mi9cv
@AR-mi9cv 9 ай бұрын
Agreed
@kevinmccabe7263
@kevinmccabe7263 9 ай бұрын
Rachel Weiss is exactly who Phoebe Waller-Bridge thinks she is: stunningly beautiful, classy, witty, intelligent, and charming. Instead she's more like a petulant deer.
@interregnum_
@interregnum_ 10 ай бұрын
"Kennedy won't be assassinated until six years ago" was the slyest line in a video full of delightfully sly lines. Well done.
@RobotTanuki
@RobotTanuki 10 ай бұрын
I forgot the line was about JFK and for a moment my brain went to Kathleen Kennedy and I was simultaneously surprised and filled with momentary bliss.
@osmanyousif7849
@osmanyousif7849 10 ай бұрын
I know I shouldn’t, but I hope the dude who does so, actually tells Kennedy on live TV, “What do you get when you take a beloved franchise, and treat it like trash? I’ll tell you what you get. YOU GET WHAT YOU- (BLEEPING COLOR CYCLES APPEAR….)”.
@Ett.Gammalt.Bergtroll
@Ett.Gammalt.Bergtroll 10 ай бұрын
@@RobotTanukiThat’s what they truly should’ve used the Dildo of Time Dilation for.
@jasongilstrap3305
@jasongilstrap3305 9 ай бұрын
I kinda like Tall Square as being delightfully sly.
@interregnum_
@interregnum_ 9 ай бұрын
@@jasongilstrap3305 The only disqualifying thing about that is that it is--by necessity--a repeating (and of course very amusing) gag, so it's only sly in that he doesn't call out why he's doing it. (Compared to, say, his Harvey Weinstein "the _force_ is female" line, which is a knife so sharp it's barely felt as it slips between the ribs.) Regardless, I give Platoon a lot of credit for his restraint in this video: I'd have been too proud of some of these lines to not point them out.
@asd35918
@asd35918 10 ай бұрын
The sniggering disdain and anti-charisma in all the Helena stills are amazing. Well done.
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
Pretty much impossible to avoid that - it’s just how her face works!
@paulpascoe663
@paulpascoe663 10 ай бұрын
I think I just noticed for the first time when Sean Connery is holding Harrison Ford when he's trying to reach the grail, that is the one time he refers to him as 'Indiana' rather than 'Junior'. Badass
@insanusmaximus2857
@insanusmaximus2857 4 ай бұрын
I mean... that's literally what saves his life. It took his father finally calling him "Indiana" to break the Grail's hold.
@jjj5413
@jjj5413 3 ай бұрын
Great scene
@crazyralph6386
@crazyralph6386 9 күн бұрын
It was a perfect delivery too. You can tell it resonated in Indy’s mind.
@lance134679
@lance134679 10 ай бұрын
I always like the way the older films portrayed elderly characters as wise, maybe a bit set in their ways, but able to pass on the benefit of their experiences to the younger generation. Henry Jones, Sr. was such a character. Obiwan was, too. But the new movies have no reverence for older male characters, it almost seems like they resent them and the audience for cherishing them.
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
Some hate old men, I think a great many more just don’t understand them. They don’t mix with older men, they’re not as familiarly close with their grandparents as we used to be, so they lack experience - and many of them aren’t old or wise enough themselves to have the “hey, maybe dad was right” moment.
@lance134679
@lance134679 10 ай бұрын
@@TheLittlePlatoon Yes, being old doesn't make you wise, but it's what I would hope for my fictional heroes. I actually thought the reason for their treatment of legacy male characters was more about the colonialist patriarchy or something like that. 😄
@ironwolf56
@ironwolf56 10 ай бұрын
That's a microcosm of the mindset and teachings of new Progressivism: all old things and ideas must be wiped away because there is no benefit from them.
@ProjectRedfoot
@ProjectRedfoot 10 ай бұрын
A lot of it feels like a film maker's way of being like, "SCREW YOU, DAD!" or, "PLEASE, NOTICE ME, DAD!"
@kxkxkxkx
@kxkxkxkx 10 ай бұрын
@@ironwolf56 "cultural revolution" is what they called it in China back in the 1960s🚩
@kentarfunk
@kentarfunk 10 ай бұрын
Indiana has truly gone from having a career digging around in ruins to having a career in ruins.
@graphicsgod
@graphicsgod 10 ай бұрын
Ah ha ha!! ..I see what you did there.
@kirkginoabolafia3650
@kirkginoabolafia3650 10 ай бұрын
HA!
@tranquilthoughts7233
@tranquilthoughts7233 9 ай бұрын
Whoever wants to see the actual Lance of Longinius can see it at the Imperial Treasury at the Hofburg Palace in Vienna. There's also a replica of the lance of longinius that Otto III had made in 1000 to gift to the duke Boleslaw I of poland when he delcared him as "socius et amicus". That replica today can be found at the Wawel royal castle in Krakow. The actual Antikythera mechanism was found broken into three main fragments all lumped together in one clump. Currently, due to reconstruction and conservation efforts it is broken up into a total of 82 seperate fragments. All fragements are currently in posession of the National Archeological Museum Athens and can be seen there.
@OLOHEKAI
@OLOHEKAI 4 ай бұрын
I’ve seen the Lance in Vienna That is a very interesting place as I’d not really seen religious relics prior to going there.
@jjj5413
@jjj5413 3 ай бұрын
Does it get a holy buff two handed R1?
@hideousruin
@hideousruin 7 ай бұрын
I'm such a f## I teared up at the "Indiana - let it go" scene. There is so much genuine paternal love and guidance conveyed in so few words with that soft tone Connery used. There is more genuine feeling in that moment than a dozen modern Disney movies.
@Gyrfalcon312
@Gyrfalcon312 6 ай бұрын
Nope. Only makes you human. 😌
@kevinkerwin4118
@kevinkerwin4118 6 ай бұрын
Come to terms, already, sheesh.
@liamphibia
@liamphibia 10 ай бұрын
I'm not even a massive Indiana Jones fan, but I speak for all of us when I say I am so sick and exhausted of companies taking classic beloved movie franchises and utterly ruining them and stripping away what made them so fun and successful in the first place. Some time to be alive.
@-MrFozzy-
@-MrFozzy- 10 ай бұрын
Honestly, sir…….this is a very very long phase. A extremely traumatic and soul crushing phase, but a phase nonetheless….it WILL end, WE will end it. This is the beginning of audiences, or the lack of audiences having a lot of power to force change…and it’s coming, if only for the reason that there are only very few franchises thankfully unaffected, and therefore the phase MUST end. People are very sick of the past 10 years of systemic demolition of everything we held in such high regard. This phase of cinema will be eventually looked upon as the early overuse of cg upon its inception….shocking, something to be learned from and most of all…embarrassing. It will force studios to evolve and adapt because if they don’t we won’t show up and give them money anymore. That coupled with widespread criticism with social media along KZfaq criticism…the studios are in for a short, sharp drop
@SirBlackReeds
@SirBlackReeds 9 ай бұрын
Well, Oklahoma has decided to take on Disney World.
@TheDutchGhost
@TheDutchGhost 9 ай бұрын
If there is going to be any kind of recovery, and I really have my doubts, we will be needing a lot of new ideas for characters and worlds. A lot of old IPs are so 'damaged' that they would require a reboot, and if that happens you can be assured that studios will go for nostalgia, or the rebooted version has barely anything in common with the original but names. Overuse of nostalgia will this era of movies also be remembered for. And the should add terrible character and story writing to that as well.
@stephentucker2714
@stephentucker2714 9 ай бұрын
This one really wasn't all woked out. BUT, that's why it did so bad. 1. Disney has chosen poorly in years past by destroying franchises nobody wanted another destroyed. 2. Phobe is so hated bc of her woke crap they were mostly protesting her. Both are valid reasons to not dee it in my opinion though the movie was actually good for what it could be.
@TheDutchGhost
@TheDutchGhost 9 ай бұрын
@@stephentucker2714 Ignoring the social political stuff for a moment, storywise the story of Dial of Destiny is also very average. This is not an exciting adventure any more but rather old Indy going through the moves with the plot device of time travel thrown in (and often when writers resort to time travel it means that they are out of ideas). How much I think recasting Indy is wrong as I think Indiana Jones is an 80s/90s thing that is best continued in comics, books, and video games, a new actor cast as a younger Indy at the start of his adventures would have worked much better.
@awesomehpt8938
@awesomehpt8938 10 ай бұрын
“Just let me die” is that meant to be Indy wanting to die or the little platoon wanting to die after watching that awful movie?
@magma_fire_bagwan
@magma_fire_bagwan 10 ай бұрын
Both
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
It is indeed both.
@osmanyousif7849
@osmanyousif7849 10 ай бұрын
Or Harrison Ford's reaction when doing this garbage movie.
@Ash_Rein
@Ash_Rein 4 ай бұрын
De-aging means nothing if they can’t make the voices sound younger. People are forgetting how important audio is. In some ways it’s 10 times more important than any visual because it’s what connects us to what we’re seeing and makes us actually believe what we’re seeing.
@brentcrosby7109
@brentcrosby7109 3 ай бұрын
De-aging "is" the problem.💡
@wishingwell12345
@wishingwell12345 7 ай бұрын
I think the old cliche about James Bond also applied to Indy in his prime: men wanted to be him, women wanted to bed him. Disney don't seem to understand that not only do men not want to be a geriatric Indy and women do not want to bed a geriatric Indy, but also women do not want to be Phoebe Walloper Bridge and men certainly do not want to bed her.
@jeffrobinson7338
@jeffrobinson7338 10 ай бұрын
If only Mauler could write as fast as Little Platoon, rather than as fast as George RR Martin.
@Fionalah
@Fionalah 10 ай бұрын
Like most KZfaqrs, he just got lazy and spends his time now playing computer games.
@jonnywaldis8275
@jonnywaldis8275 10 ай бұрын
Mauler has become an absurd perfectionist, obsessed with minute details very few in the audience care about and even less would register if he did not. I once heard him say that he records each line multiple times and later choses which he will use in the final edit, it's insanity. Meanwhile I, like many, maybe even most, care mostly about what he said, not how. So I let his videos play in the background, never ever see the editing he slaves over and couldn't care less if every line is pitch perfect. I find it great that he has pride in his work but imo he crossed a little into ocd territory.
@jeffrobinson7338
@jeffrobinson7338 10 ай бұрын
@@jonnywaldis8275 I would very much prefer if he'd release a 8.5/10 quality video every 3 months than one 10/10 video every year. But I'm starting to suspect he's now focusing far more on EFAP & the dozens of other podcasts he does every week because they're easier and brings in money via superchats.
@davidhayward2896
@davidhayward2896 10 ай бұрын
​@@jeffrobinson7338He recently posted about this accusation and others, the thread is pinned on his subreddit if you want to read it. Apparently the main channel videos bring him more money due to their long tails than Efap, and Efap plus the other podcasts is usually a fairly small part of his working week.
@jonnywaldis8275
@jonnywaldis8275 10 ай бұрын
@@jeffrobinson7338 I'd prefer that as well but unfortunately or maybe fortunately he also produces the videos for his own gratification and that's fair enough. Since this is his career I can absolutely see why he would want to do his very best and be able to look back proudly. The podcast play a part of course, the superchats definitely spare him from financial pressure freeing him up to obsess over details but I don't see them taking up all that much time. Efap is of course often a whole Saturday gone along with organisation and the occasional editing of a video on the topic. But the other 2 podcasts he does are much shorter and probably demand little more time from him than the pure runtime and even during those he sometimes continues editing. I mean look at Platoon, he's another podcasting monster, not only soldiering on when guesting on efap or open bar but having his own weekly outing as well as appearing on Mr Brown's channel regularly. All this and he has a side-gig as a writer for a game yet he still manages his, both in quality and output, extraordinary work here. I believe Platoon occasionally employs an editor though. So I don't think it's the podcasts other than Mauler not being pressured to release and I also don't believe it's laziness since to anyone with some appreciation for his own work, letting it rot and playing games constitutes torture.
@GIBBO4182
@GIBBO4182 10 ай бұрын
Indiana Jones 5 will be one of those movies that appear on terrestrial tv in about 5 years time on Christmas Day, and I’ll choose to watch Home Alone for the 28th time instead of it!
@GIBBO4182
@GIBBO4182 10 ай бұрын
@@zyxyuv1650 what a w⚓️
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
Looking forward to the splashy “Network premiere!” ads for it and everyone flicking over for another Harry Potter omnibus.
@MegaSpideyman
@MegaSpideyman 10 ай бұрын
​@@TheLittlePlatoonAbsolutely!
@tim_davidson6344
@tim_davidson6344 9 ай бұрын
Nah, I'm committed to watching 24 hours of "A Christmas Story" on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
@cmcculloch1
@cmcculloch1 9 ай бұрын
Little platoon never fails to impress that he can go 3+ hours without repeating himself, become dull and been entertaining and interesting with well reasoned intelligent points
@0ctopusComp1etely
@0ctopusComp1etely 9 ай бұрын
You know what I respect most about you Platoon? You never shy away from praising the things you like in the things you hate. No matter how meticulously you had to dig to find it, no matter how brief the moment, if you see something you like surrounded in a absolute mountain of turd, you still take the time to hold it up and say "This one little thing really wasn't that bad". It can be hard sometimes to not grow blind with hate, but I can always count on you to praise something when you think it deserves it. Even if really most of what I've seen you review is THAT BAD overall.
@TheGourdKing
@TheGourdKing 10 ай бұрын
This video belongs in a museum. Well done, Platoon. Very well done, indeed.
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
Thanks!
@zephloe
@zephloe 10 ай бұрын
I disagree as the video being in a museum would also get a fraction of the movie in a museum, and that should not happen with its awful quality.
@biotrekker
@biotrekker 10 ай бұрын
These creators are not "artists". They are political commissars.
@boombadoomba14
@boombadoomba14 10 ай бұрын
You're damn right, Calvin.
@rayray44325
@rayray44325 10 ай бұрын
quality of the film is no longer top priority... the only thing creators are passionate about these days is to make sure to send ''THE MESSAGE''
@vee-bee-a
@vee-bee-a 9 ай бұрын
Damn, that is a sick burn.
@Linkman247
@Linkman247 5 ай бұрын
Couldn't agree more. The irony is Kingdom of the Crystal Skull for all it's flaws (of which there are many like an overuse of CGI), It still offered a better sendoff to a beloved character (again) so many years after Last Crusade already had done so. There is one line in Dial of Destiny that made me roll my eyes. Indy says to Sallah... "This isn't an adventure...those days are long gone." Like what the fuck are you even doing in a 5th Indiana Jones film if it's not an adventure. The fucking series built on "If adventure has a name it must be Indiana Jones!" Harrison Ford may have been in costume in a film bearing the Indiana Jones title...but Indiana Jones was not in this adventure...sorry...film.
@falconheavy0533
@falconheavy0533 9 ай бұрын
As one of the only people who apparently enjoys kingdom of the crystal skull (is it flawed yes but it’s far from the worst thing I’ve ever watched and it gave Indy a happy ending) I’m so happy you called out the very blatant retcon in Indy and Marion getting divorced. You’ve earned yourself a subscriber.
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 9 ай бұрын
Welcome aboard!
@SammEater
@SammEater Ай бұрын
You can almost see KK smiling as she tells the writer to add that in. Basically the exact same 'bad ending' that Han Solo got. Undoing Crystal Skull ending because she despises the character and anyone that likes him.
@canuck21
@canuck21 10 ай бұрын
At least Crystal Skull gave Indy a perfect ending and his heroism is intact so I still consider it canon.
@SirBlackReeds
@SirBlackReeds 10 ай бұрын
Also, Spielberg may have been responsible for the film's shortcomings. Quentin Tarantino did say that once directors hit a certain age, they change.
@dannypalin9583
@dannypalin9583 10 ай бұрын
Indy and Marion getting married was the best part of a terrible movie. Then along came the Disney takeover and one of the first things that's established is that they got a divorce. The writers are projecting.
@shawklan27
@shawklan27 10 ай бұрын
​@@dannypalin9583agreed
@sortedevaras
@sortedevaras 10 ай бұрын
​@@SirBlackReedsyes, they learn when not to give a crap. Spielberg probably saw the monkey swinging, aliens, and giant ants in the script, didn't say anything because Lucas is his buddy and just mentally checked out.
@canuck21
@canuck21 10 ай бұрын
@@sortedevaras Spielberg did say that aliens shouldn't be in it but Lucas kept insisting and insisting then Spielberg simply relented.
@Yarblocosifilitico
@Yarblocosifilitico 10 ай бұрын
"I said: my biggest fear is making a bad movie" the way he looked at her while stating that was so telling. Also, btw, it seems he was playing himself in that psychiatrist show (it's pretty decent; kinda funny and has good moments).
@Tim_the_Enchanter
@Tim_the_Enchanter 6 ай бұрын
Harrison Ford's greatest fear is making a bad movie ... but that doesn't seem to prevent him taking the money and making them anyway.
@fools_opinions
@fools_opinions 2 ай бұрын
I suppose we should at least applaud him for facing his fears
@josephsalmonte4995
@josephsalmonte4995 Ай бұрын
He had no choice mate. He was bound by contract as so many actors are. That's why they have millions of pounds but still do shitty shows, films & ads into their 70's when by choice, they would've retired young.
@teddyharvester
@teddyharvester 9 ай бұрын
Another Indy film after so many years COULD have been something. As you've said - bring back Mutt, and as many other people have said - bring back adult Shortround - they could both handle the action scenes, while old man Indy could play the wise mentor role, brain their way out of situations, and generally serve as the repository of knowledge and wisdom. You could even still have him be done with all of it at the beginning but have the combo of his son and everyone's favourite kid sidekick be what brings him back for one last adventure. But nooo, they needed to have another unbearable KK self-insert.
@ShadowSonic2
@ShadowSonic2 7 ай бұрын
So women are bad, got it
@OLOHEKAI
@OLOHEKAI 4 ай бұрын
Excellent idea honestly How about this: Mutt is MIA not dead, because he is in Asia Short Round helps Indy to rescue him from the POW camp
@keiichi8191
@keiichi8191 10 ай бұрын
Do they ever explain at any point why the Antikythera mechanism depicted in the film looks pristine and still functional, like it was made the day before, without a hint of patina or degradation? The actual Antikythera mechanism was basically a solid, crusty lump from sitting at the bottom of the ocean for 2,000 years.
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
“Do they ever explain at any point…” No. The answer is always no.
@pantognost
@pantognost 9 ай бұрын
It's probably because in the movie the good british saved it from the clutches of the Greeks. Just like the plunderer Elgin "saved" the marbles from artillery of his military counterpart that produced "will and resources" for the empire's "not collonial" policy of the time.
@stephentucker2714
@stephentucker2714 9 ай бұрын
It doesn't, but in the movie it has to work lol. The real antikythera would take some serious wd-40 to get moving .
@ranulf8477
@ranulf8477 9 ай бұрын
They even did not say how right next to a tourist attraction in sicily there is a cave and you only have to go inside and look up to see a "hidden" temple. After some 2000 years noone ever looked up in that cave? Indy 5 is so insane stupid. I cannot describe it.
@necro4258
@necro4258 7 ай бұрын
@@pantognostpardon?
@samdaniels2
@samdaniels2 10 ай бұрын
"I bet he still calls people of colour, coloured people I bet!" Hahaha, mate, that was brilliant!
@SexyCripples
@SexyCripples 9 ай бұрын
I'm just about 30 minutes in, but I just want to tell you (or the guys who helped you with this video) how much I appreciate that tiny moment at 35:43, when your "again" synchs up perfectly with Indy's lip movement. It does NOT go unnoticed.
@kaizer4506
@kaizer4506 4 ай бұрын
“Oh yeah good point! I mean, yes”
@SC0RCH3er
@SC0RCH3er 9 ай бұрын
33:55 I understand it might appear to make sense to "attack the undefended bridge", but the thing is that destroying a bridge using WW2 planes is actually pretty hard, even with a heavy bomb ordinance you need to hit very specifically to damage it (and you have absolutelly 0 chance with MGs or cannon direct fire), this is why the british developed the "Grand slam" aka Seismic bomb which burrowed deep into ground and created "micro" earthquakes and that bomb weights 10 tons and needs to be carried by a modified Lancaster bomber. To severly damage a train you only need several .50cal to put a few holes to the train engine, that also means it make sense to put an AA vagon with 20mm flak (which is generally usefull only against strafing runs) to important military trains. This is why air attacks against trains were common and done adhoc by fighters/fighter bombers while destroying bridges needed to be done strategically and planned ahead with bombers (unless it was an emergency like when allies captured the bridge at Remagen and Luftwaffe tried to throw anything it had left on it). But I call BS on nightime strafing run, that would have been near suicidal for the pilots.
@danielhill5814
@danielhill5814 10 ай бұрын
I always felt the original trilogy worked because they kept the supernatural elements to a minimum. The artifacts all had unnatural powers but all serve a more important moral lesson for the characters and the audience. In Crystal Skull they pushed it far too much past the borderline of what could almost be believable and what could be still dismissed as not possible after experiencing it. As soon as I heard time travel would be featured in Dial, I knew they hadn't learned from Crystal Skull's mistake that Indiana Jones works best on the very tipping point of what could be possible in our realistic interpretation of the world.
@Zero_2500
@Zero_2500 10 ай бұрын
The “Kathleen Kennedy - Witch” title card was just 👌 chef’s kiss.
@OLOHEKAI
@OLOHEKAI 4 ай бұрын
How about this: Mutt is MIA not dead, because he is in Asia Short Round helps Indy to rescue him from the POW camp
@StarWarsomania
@StarWarsomania Ай бұрын
That would also be a great reason for Indy to get involved in the first place. He’s not out for treasure hunting anymore because he’s Old(tm), but he gets dragged into this because X months after he gets the news that his son is MIA (presumed dead), Someone shows up to the curmudgeonly retired professor with “news…about your son”. Obviously Indy isn’t going to leave his son in danger, so they have to get the Team back together to get Mutt out. But in the process of rescuing Mutt, we learn that the Vietcong or whoever have Religious Artifact that will do Something, Mutt was trying to stop them and that’s how he ended up MIA. Mutt refuses to leave his unit to die, so grumpy old Indy and Team end up on a secondary quest, one last time, to go stop the Bad Guys. And if you wanted, you could even mirror the scene from The Last Crusade - have Mutt obviously trying to prove to his dad he’s good enough, and have Indy realize just what he’s done and have him mirror Sean Connery’s line.
@OLOHEKAI
@OLOHEKAI Ай бұрын
@@StarWarsomania LOVE IT! 😍
@chrismcmeekin9943
@chrismcmeekin9943 10 ай бұрын
It's been years since I've watched Crystal Skull but I'm almost positive that Ray Winstone's character has an "I'm a capitalist" line 1:52:03 in that movie as well
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
I’m pretty sure you’re right, yep!
@Melvin-Deeply
@Melvin-Deeply 10 ай бұрын
Very good. I loved your closing speech. That alone is better than most people's Indy 5 videos. If you ever start putting out clips, that's a good one to lead the charge. 👍
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
I did mean to do those on the second channel. I’ll see about clipping this one out.
@dronesclubhighjinks
@dronesclubhighjinks 10 ай бұрын
​@@TheLittlePlatoon I’d also like to recommend the introductory clip!
@sarcatstix
@sarcatstix 10 ай бұрын
Shaw is a wonderful example of wish fulfillment -contrivance fan-fic writing and Mary Sue style of modern story telling.Platoon delightfully illustrates how the film depicts her as better at everything than Indy and especially knows more because of this contrivant photographic memory. Whereas most of the characters of the previous films were educated and did research, explored and understood what they were looking for and thus any repercussions of the ownership/use of the previous artefacts. Ms Shaw simply reads the works of others and knows as much indeed probably better than the olds. A wonderful representation of much of today. ‘I googled it therefore I know it.’ No writers, you really don’t it seems.
@that1chickinFL
@that1chickinFL 9 ай бұрын
This seems to be the only way women are capable of gaining knowledge or becoming...well, capable in present day hollywood. Either the power was always there and I just had to briefs in myself, or grandad left a few journals lying around so I was able to build a quantum bullshit device in the basement because I had the vision he lacked. If you won't let women struggle, then nothing is ever earned.
@osmanyousif7849
@osmanyousif7849 9 ай бұрын
She's not even a Mary Sue. I mean, she is, but the bigger issue she suffers from is something that I've learned in literature class when learning about storytelling. Helena Shaw suffers from something called the “surrogate problem”. Now what is that you may ask? Well a surrogate is basically a substitute, specifically a person serving as the stand-in for a specific role. In the case of storytelling, a character serves as the surrogate for the audience, as we often spend the vast majority or the entirety of the story through their perspective, rarely is dramatic irony when WE know something our protagonists don’t utilize. Now, I’m not gonna say that this is a problem in every story, let alone is it a problem with characters themselves, as it is an extremely good way to make the audience empathize with your characters. Take Hermione Granger in Harry Potter. Similar to Harry and Ron, she has moments of seeing things from her perspective when she's in the Wizarding World. Her shock-and-awe is our shock-and-awe. Now, all this isn’t a problem on its own, for the most part, but it makes her actions in the 1st/2nd book and movie very PASSIVE, instead of ACTIVE. By that, I mean rather than her being the one who pushes the story forward through her own independent actions, the plot is mostly dictated and driven by external forces. Because if the actions of the first book/movie didn’t happen, Hermione didn’t need to have any involvement doing what she did, and will be more busy trying to get the best grades and skip into higher classes. Therefore, it does create the risk of her being a bit of a dull character (Even though as the series progresses, she does become a much more layered an reinforced character, with notable flaws like her two friends....) who doesn’t really do much unless the plot says she must, therefore she, just like Harry and Ron, is simply a surrogate for the audience and we the audience can witness everything around her. One way to prevent this is by making your characters extremely REACTIVE. Take Katniss Everdeen or Moana (original, not the future remake…) for example. Because although a lot of the stuff Katniss and Moana go through in their respective films is inflicted upon them, therefore being more reactive to the things that happen to both of them (rather than actively making them happen), it's how Katniss and Moana react to what's thrown at them that defines their characters. Another risk with surrogate characters is that they, come off as one-dimensional, have little personality, or obviously no flaws. Therefore, the way to avoid this problem is by giving your characters one. Sarah Connor is probably the perfect example of this, especially in the first Terminator movie. She is certainly a surrogate character in the sense that we as the audience are stuck with her when the s**t goes down, but she’s an incredibly REACTIVE character. She also has a defining personality that we want to root for her to win in the end. Not to mention the film uses one of the greatest instances of dramatic irony to its effect. Now, why am I talking about surrogate characters and their pitfalls? Because Helena Shaw suffers heavily from them. Helena's really not an active protagonist by any means. Aside from the fact that her insertion into the story is completely meaningless, note that none of the major events of the movie are really driven or initiated by her. She like the audience, find themselves wrapped into some crazy conflict, and for the most part is simply along for the ride, while conveying what is happening in our mind as the viewer. She's also not reactive either, though. As whatever stuff gets thrown at her, she rarely reacts to it in a way really has any influence on them or the plot or her character. Not to mention that despite giving her some backstory to learn about her (although in very lazy exposition dumps), it really doesn’t have any effect on her later on in the story. As if we didn’t know that about her, would the plot have still happened, let alone the conflict? Therefore, the finale leans closer we start to wonder what the heck is her big arc going to be. Even in cases where a character may be passive for the majority of any story, it's always suppose to be the ending "where the main character makes their big move" and determines the outcome, culminating in everything they go through. Again, the examples I've mentioned with surrogate characters, is a good look to see. But considering how this is meant to be an Indiana Jones movie, yet not seeming to know whether to make it Indy's or Helena's, watching her make the final move in the finale feels absurdly contrived. Therefore, it leads us viewers, believing that if you remove Helena from the story, would anything really change? And, if your characters (whether male or female) are almost COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT to the story and it’s conclusion, something has indeed gone wrong. It'll be like making seeing Hermione, Katniss, Moana, or Sarah, being given so much screentime in the movie, but not getting any development at all, making us wonder why the other much more competent characters aren't making the final move, only for them to almost do so, but these four take it away from them. I guarantee things would go VERY differently.
@sarcatstix
@sarcatstix 9 ай бұрын
@@osmanyousif7849well said.
@ShadowSonic2
@ShadowSonic2 7 ай бұрын
Helena's no more a Mary Sue than Marion herself ever was. But there's been a huge backlash against all leading ladies these days so I suppose the hypocrisy should be expected
@sarcatstix
@sarcatstix 7 ай бұрын
@@ShadowSonic2 there are worse examples I grant you but she does precious little to earn the plaudits she received both on and off script. The issue is one of smug telling without much in the way of showing. It’s poor scripting. Marion was a far more compelling and well rounded individual and Helena is somewhat …other. I grant you simple leading lady bashing us utterly tiresome but this syndicate seems compelled to foist a type on the audience and expects them to like it. Well if she were better written I would, if the actress was as compelling as she was in fleabag I’d appreciate it more. The expression Mary Sue is a little muddy I grant you but I didn’t want to write as much as I have here, but oh well. Salut.
@Betterhose
@Betterhose 7 ай бұрын
1:33:42 My father was a mounted police officer. Police horses go through a lot of training and conditioning so that they don't spook easily. Mounted police units are primarily used to control crowds of people like at non-peaceful demonstrations. They're supposed to stay calm when people set off pyrotechnics, scream and shout or start throwing objects. My father told me that they (the policemen) had to stand on the backs of their horses and salute while someone would fire a blank gun. Look, I'm not saying that this makes the scene believable, let alone good. All I'm trying to say is that not every horse spooks that easily. Especially when it is a trained police horse. And in case you, Platoon, are reading this, I'm delighted with your videos, writing advice and humor. I would love to see you analyze a good movie and show us how it is supposed to be done. I reckon you would have a more pleasant experience too, talking about movies (or games perhaps) that you like. Best wishes.
@gurufabbes1
@gurufabbes1 9 ай бұрын
Fantastic. I remember Pimpernel Smith playing on TV back in the day. Good on you evoking it here.
@LoveIsMurder17
@LoveIsMurder17 10 ай бұрын
As a German, the little references to "Jürgen Klinsmann", "Jürgen Klopp" and other soccer icons gave me a good chuckle.
@dronesclubhighjinks
@dronesclubhighjinks 10 ай бұрын
Aaargh I missed Jürgen Klopp! I caught Klinsmann and Habermas. 😂
@nont18411
@nont18411 10 ай бұрын
*football icons
@connorlove9149
@connorlove9149 9 ай бұрын
Boom
@Violaphobia
@Violaphobia 10 ай бұрын
A little platoon video can take the absolute piss out of a movie and also teach you that centurions were commanders of 100 troops. Really wish I’d put that one together myself from the word roots
@swa7169
@swa7169 5 ай бұрын
It is legitimately hilarious to consider the sequence of events that must have transpired between Helena knocking Indy unconscious on Syracuse and Indy waking up in his apartment back in New York. Seriously, were they carrying his unconscious body through Rome International Airport when they made their connecting flight? How did they explain the comatose man with the gunshot wound to immigration? And Helena hit him so hard, he was knocked out for 3 or 4 DAYS?
@TheMegaultrachicken
@TheMegaultrachicken 4 ай бұрын
Moreover Helena's punch knocks him out and not giant muscleman's.
@rush1er
@rush1er 9 ай бұрын
TLP's mastery of the English word, both spoken and written, allows him to whip sentences into a frothy dessert topping which he masterfully folds into the clump crusted stale shit Hollywood keeps baking.
@jjj5413
@jjj5413 3 ай бұрын
I know, right? So many words and they are all good ones. Its quite impressive.
@matthewcollins4773
@matthewcollins4773 10 ай бұрын
I really appreciate how you don't just simply make the observation/joke about "belonging in a museum", as others would, but actually explore at length the significance of the idea and what the observation reveals about current mass-produced entertainment. Good stuff, very good stuff.
@blackosprey2219
@blackosprey2219 10 ай бұрын
This is what sets Platoon apart from the majority of other critics, he goes an extra mile to substantiate his complaints. He never just stops at "movie bad" or "writing bad" he really digs into the thematic failures of each subject and brings on some relevant comparisons. Plot nitpicks are good fun but he really highlights whatmakes stories meaningful and how these messes lack that.
@soulsolid6576
@soulsolid6576 10 ай бұрын
This ended up in my recommend by pure chance. I've been begging for long content like this for ages as lots of videos nowadays are more aimed at "short attention span" audiences. Bless you sir.
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
I’m glad you liked it!
@trygveplaustrum4634
@trygveplaustrum4634 5 ай бұрын
If you appreciate long film analysis content, one of the big names is MauLer. Long book content is spearheaded by KrimsonRogue.
@bruder._.ketchup6188
@bruder._.ketchup6188 9 ай бұрын
"How did you end up like this?" "What do you mean? Resourceful, daring, beautiful, self-sufficient?" I knew exactly what kind of movie this was going to be when I heard this line from the exclusive sneak peek on Disney Plus. Other than the flashback in Act 1, which actually FELT reminiscent of an Indie film all things considered, I couldn't help but be sadden by the rest of this one. It's a real shame that no franchise can end on a high note anymore, but it must instead be milked until we all hate it. Well done as usual, sir. It's critical analyst like yourself that reassure me I'm not crazy for not singing unbridled praises for this "final" installment.
@OLOHEKAI
@OLOHEKAI 4 ай бұрын
It doesn’t help that she is not really “beautiful”; she looks like a guy I knew in college. Yuck 🤮
@DEATH-THE-GOAT
@DEATH-THE-GOAT 5 ай бұрын
Phoebe Waller-Bridge has that Habsburg visage going on
@sycaccino8533
@sycaccino8533 10 ай бұрын
I've always loved how goofy Crystal skull got in some moments, especially the ants and stupid cgi alien. It actually made the movie more enjoyable for me however dial isn't even goofy just a big slap across the face
@benclark4823
@benclark4823 10 ай бұрын
Stupid aliens VS stupid gods 😇
@KopperNeoman
@KopperNeoman 10 ай бұрын
The stupid CGI alien reminds me of the stupid puppet shark in Jaws. It looks bad NOW because effects have got a lot better, and so have consumer televisions. As a retro gamer, I don't hold such things against old films either.
@sycaccino8533
@sycaccino8533 10 ай бұрын
@@KopperNeoman I don't either as it adds to the movies charm, however even at the time the alien scene was goofy especially how it kills the Russian lady by frowning at her
@GeraltofRivia22
@GeraltofRivia22 10 ай бұрын
That was Lucas' goal after all. A nod to the cheesey alien B movies of the 50s.
@osmanyousif7849
@osmanyousif7849 10 ай бұрын
Kind of ironic how in that same year Crystal Skull was released, a Sesame Street parody of Indiana Jones called The Golden Triangle of Destiny was aired. And it was far more entertaining than the actual fifth movie itself.
@cyryc
@cyryc 10 ай бұрын
There used to be the idea of 'aging gracefully'. When my dad was putting together the early HoustonCon conventions in the 1970s trying to pitch the idea to retired stars to make an appearance and meet fans and sign autographs - there was one actor, I can't remember if it was Hopalong Cassidy or (I want to say Kirk Alyn, but Kirk Alyn definitely showed and became good friends with my dad), and I feel like Hoppy met fans to the end. Shoot, well, the point was that the actor turned his invitation with the reply that he'd rather his fans remember his on screen heroic persona instead of his old age condition. I can see that as admirable -- and to circle to the current old heroes getting Jake Skywalker'd, it's almost feels like the writers/producers are like "Oh? You want a piece of this big payday, gramps? Well let's see how you like what we do to your character!"
@NoxAtlas
@NoxAtlas 10 ай бұрын
I would have preferred it if Luke and Indiana became the wise old mentors for the newer generation. Why do we have to portray aging as something terrible? Why can't we show the transition of characters getting past their prime and embracing their age? I know the wise old mentor trope is done a lot but it would be so great to watch a beloved character transitioning from the main character into a wise old mentor who isn't a miserable cynic. That way the character would be respected like the fans want and the movie creates a smooth transition to a new generation that doesn't make the fans mad.
@cyryc
@cyryc 10 ай бұрын
@@NoxAtlas unfortunately, in order for there to be a mentor, there has to be a student who learns. The dynamic preventing that are the self-obsessed narcissistic "I'm already perfect!" current-year writers who just project their own crummy behavior onto the young protagonists who just crap on history (and the idea of mentors)
@NoxAtlas
@NoxAtlas 10 ай бұрын
@cyryc True. Honestly, I have not much faith in Hollywood to actually do it right. They just take a huge shit on everything the fans used to love, force some terrible new character down our throats and when everything goes wrong, they either gaslight the audience or say nothing and let Twitter (apparently now it's just X) do the fighting for them and it turns into an agenda debate.
@austinwoods466
@austinwoods466 9 ай бұрын
When we last parted In silence and tears, Half broken-hearted To sever for years, Pale grew thy cheek and cold, Colder thy bliss; Truly the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Foretold sorrow to this. The Dial of Destiny Sunk chill on my brow- It felt like the warning Of what I feel now. Thy vows are all broken, And light is thy fame; I hear thy name spoken, And share in its shame. They name Indy before me, A knell to mine ear; A shudder comes o'er me- Why wert thou so dear? They know not I knew thee, Who knew thee too well- Long, long shall I rue thee, Too deeply to tell. In a cinema we met- In silence I grieve, That thy heart could forget, Thy spirit deceive. If I should meet Indy After long years, How should I greet him?- With silence and tears.
@leriava
@leriava 3 ай бұрын
That's pretty great 👍🏼
@russellmanweller6694
@russellmanweller6694 3 ай бұрын
Your pretty good. can others write such poetry so well? I don't know much about poetry. This seems like it takes allot of talent and skill. Thank you 😊
@HomersIlliad
@HomersIlliad 10 ай бұрын
20:58 An actual wet blanket couldn't kill the vibe as quickly as she does in this interview.
@laurelvanwilligen9787
@laurelvanwilligen9787 10 ай бұрын
You're absolutely right about the disparity in how we view Nazis vs Soviets. A lot of it has to do with the vast trove of records that fell into our hands at the end of WWII and the relative paucity of Soviet records available to us. In many ways, the situation with Mao's China is even worse. It's amazing to me that we even know about the famine of 1959 to 1961.
@Slender_Man_186
@Slender_Man_186 10 ай бұрын
Even from what we know from sure, the Holdomore is equal to the Holocaust. You owned an acre more than your neighbor? Kulak. You have a tractor? Kulak. Go reported to the red guard for literally any reason? Kulak. Think that throwing all of the farmers into gulags or executing them outright will end up starving Moscow? Well obviously you’re just a counter-revolutionary.
@haku8135
@haku8135 10 ай бұрын
The reason is because Mao and Stalin were just one more dictators killing THEIR people. Hitler, started WWII.
@Lobsterwithinternet
@Lobsterwithinternet 10 ай бұрын
I’d say it's greater between the Nazis vs the Japanese due not only to records being destroyed but in the politics of the Cold War making it in both Japan's and the Western power’s interests to downplay and ignore Japan’s crimes.
@AJadedLizard
@AJadedLizard 10 ай бұрын
Well, it's not aided by the fact the Soviets won World War II and the Communists have more or less won the culture war by this point. There's a KZfaqr, Short Fat Otaku (unfortunate name aside he's pretty solid on philosophy) who talks about this kind of thing: just about everything we know about Nazis as philosophy we view through a Communist lens, and, partially as a result of that, because the Nazis are self-evidently evil, the Communists at least get to pretend they are the lesser of two evils, rather than the pack of wolves fighting the pack of lions for the opportunity to eat you they were in reality. I genuinely watched someone once argue that the difference between Nazis and Communists is that the Nazis started the Holocaust and the Communists ended it and, well, no, as Platoon points out the Soviets were quite happy to genocide any ground who offended them and had plans in place to start wiping out their own Jews, plans which were fortunately put paid to by Stalin coming down with a severe case of the Dictator's Retirement Plan. We should view the Communists as the vicious, often stupid and vindictive monsters they were and are, just as we view the Nazis who still manage to exist in the year 2023 as psuedoscientific losers desperate to escape their lives of mediocrity. Both Nazism and Communism are horrible, authoritarian ideologies that are antithetical to just about everything that makes humans human and which will kill you for imaginary reasons. There is no actual, meaningful distinction between the two.
@Slender_Man_186
@Slender_Man_186 10 ай бұрын
@@AJadedLizard there’s also the revisionist aspect of it, how they try to paint fascism as a far right wing ideology, despite *inhale* Fascists using Marx’s works to frame their “struggle,” using the same in-party out-party dynamics as other branches of Marxism, their views of capitalism as “international jewery,” seeing themselves as the champions again liberalism in all of it’s forms just like other Marxists, viewing almost all conflicts as inherently down to economic inequality, the Nazis having one of the most robust welfare states of the 1930’s and 40’s, the Hitler Youth program, and their use of subversion and demoralization tactics. The common basis for Fascism/Nazism being “far right” are “oh but they had privatization” and “but they fought against communists” both of which are heavily flawed arguments. First, the Nazis really didn’t have privatization, if you didn’t at least tow party lines you would be labeled a Jew or gipsy and shipped off, if your business was in a sector that was essential to wartime production you were fucked regardless unless you were already a high ranking party member, assuming the state just didn’t absorb it anyway. Second, the left always eats itself, just look at how Lenin and the Soviets treated Russia’s other Communist parties, or even the factionalism between modern branches of socialism and communism, shit’s laughable.
@flame__7704
@flame__7704 10 ай бұрын
My favorite scene in this movie is at the beginning, then they shoot the other teachers, then a few minutes pass, and the bodies have magicly moved themselves when he checks them.
@JayPhilips
@JayPhilips 10 ай бұрын
There is a trail of blood at Jean's foot where she was dragged. Serves her right for giving him that clock. I thought somebody was going to say "Professor Plimpton!" and then "Carl!-Dave!-Miss Andrews!-Nurse Adams!"... with a line of bodies out the door.
@Maladjester
@Maladjester 4 ай бұрын
Shout-out to Ronald Lacey, the dapper Nazi boss from Raiders, for his portrayal of one of the most monstrous and memorable movie villains. On screen for only a few minutes but makes such an impression. "And now.......what shall we talk about?"
@danzai
@danzai 9 ай бұрын
"You Either Die A Hero, Or You Live Long Enough To See Yourself Become The Villain" this goes for the movie industry that just refuse to let their characters die, milking their characters for everything theyre worth - ruining their own legacy - these are the villains.
@kazekamiha
@kazekamiha 10 ай бұрын
Dial of Destiny: **Exists** Fans to the Crystal Skull: Perhaps we judged you a little harshly.
@tim_davidson6344
@tim_davidson6344 9 ай бұрын
I think the same sentiment applies to appreciating Star Wars I - III just a bit more compared to the absolute crap that Star Wars VII - IX turned out to be.
@kylekatarn5964
@kylekatarn5964 6 ай бұрын
The first 2/3rds of Crystal Skull isn't terrible. It goes completely off the rails with the alien stuff. I had no problem either an attempt at a baton pass to Mutt, give the older generation a fair and respectful chance to take a bow and leave the stage with dignity. But we can't have any of that. Ohhhh noooo, we need to extract every last nanoliter of blood from every stone until the entire reason we cared about a character is reduced to ashes.
@BiriBiri925
@BiriBiri925 2 ай бұрын
You may notice this happens over and over again. A movie that was considered terrible in 2007 now... doesn't seem so bad in 2024. Do you remember how George and Spielberg apologized for this movie? They really did it. They said it was a mistake. Do you think someone from Disney will apologize for this garbage? Yeah, wait.
@TheIceMan23
@TheIceMan23 10 ай бұрын
forget making time in your day, you have to make a day in your calendar for a Platoon video.. I'm expecting nothing less than 4 hours.
@EPPicstuff
@EPPicstuff 10 ай бұрын
1:43:34 The truth is that Sallah's line about missing adventure was improvised. The KZfaqr Minisuperheroestoday got an interview with Sallah's actor, in which he mentions this.
@Br_pow
@Br_pow 10 ай бұрын
Plot twist: in the beginning of the movie Indie was drunk, he stood up, fell over, knocked himself out, had a dreem, and woke up in the end of the movie. Non of it happened, happy ending!
@imhalfdead
@imhalfdead 10 ай бұрын
You clearly put more thought and effort into this video than Disney did into that entire movie.
@jamesverner9132
@jamesverner9132 10 ай бұрын
Wow a complete and logical argument as to why filling up a museum is better then allowing the artifact to wither and be destroyed by a incompetent caretaker.
@brizzany10
@brizzany10 10 ай бұрын
But who are you to determine that you should take someone things cause you e determine you’ll take better care of it. It’s still theft
@jamesverner9132
@jamesverner9132 9 ай бұрын
​@@brizzany10that's the same as saying removal of a child from a abusive household is immoral because your not the birth parents. Anyone is capable of being shitty. No one gets a free pass, true equality.
@brizzany10
@brizzany10 9 ай бұрын
@@jamesverner9132 no it’s not. And even if that’s the example… other countries can’t come in and take kids as a way to “save “ them. It would still be kidnapping. & only white ppl felt they have the right to steal culture piece’s from places because they said so……. So a kidnapper is right by taking the child because he thinks the home he just kidnap them from is bad…… still a stupid mentality. So the same should be applied your life and property.
@christophercotto4212
@christophercotto4212 9 ай бұрын
Almost like the movie was made to remove another male idol from the pool
@justing1984
@justing1984 10 ай бұрын
Binged this on a drive to-and-from a friend's house across state. Your ability to critique, but entertain, is amazing. Exceptionally well written. Love your work, Plat. ❤
@WhiteIkiryo-yt2it
@WhiteIkiryo-yt2it 10 ай бұрын
Hopefully those "Top...Men" will put the script, the promotional material and all copies of this film in that warehouse for the rest of time.
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
You have to hope so. It’d probably get about as many viewers.
@user-xn5hh8xo2w
@user-xn5hh8xo2w 10 ай бұрын
Thank you for bringing up Pimpernel Smith. It's one of my all-time favourite films ever. Leslie Howard's final speech is gut-wrenching. Highly recommend! ❤
@OneofInfinity.
@OneofInfinity. 6 ай бұрын
Very relevant in current times and optimistic against those working hard to bring an old evil empire back, besides technologically very little they have changed, same hate and hopefully they will meet the same end very soon.
@zachisebi
@zachisebi 6 ай бұрын
Damn that little "Indi, let go" moment was enough to make me tear up a bit.
@TheF.I.R.M
@TheF.I.R.M 5 ай бұрын
“Why is there a drone outside my window?” 😂😂😂😂
@pedrooliveira6392
@pedrooliveira6392 10 ай бұрын
Your ability to write stirring speeches is Churchill-like. I remember the one at the end of your Rings of Power video made me say "fuck yeah!", and start writing something. This one is a close second, very well done.
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
I’m very glad to hear it, and thanks!
@tulipalll
@tulipalll 10 ай бұрын
That's awesome
@feathercat9118
@feathercat9118 10 ай бұрын
This is a full feature film, that had more care put into it. Than the actual movie.
@themastrelmatadordelmar544
@themastrelmatadordelmar544 7 ай бұрын
So the reason Indy did not board the train is because, the german general had to drive a short while to get to the station. The train wasn't stationed just outside the castle. So Once indy was freed from the noose he had to steal a car in order to go after the train which by this point had already left the station. Just a minor nitpick in your otherwise excellent review
@scottclark3139
@scottclark3139 8 ай бұрын
One small mistake is 3.30hrs. Excellent stuff The Nazi spy reading Time magazine in Raiders is not meant to be Toht. It’s meant to be a generic Nazi spy. Probably a mistake that he looked too much like Toht but it is played by Dennis Muran
@tarajaleel
@tarajaleel 10 ай бұрын
Archimedes stumbling into time travel "The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural."
@r0m988
@r0m988 10 ай бұрын
So thorough, no stones left unturned. I love your analysis for their depth. Well done.
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
Thank you kindly!
@emilyyates662
@emilyyates662 4 ай бұрын
When you do more research than the writers.
@1701EarlGrey
@1701EarlGrey 9 ай бұрын
3:06:00 - that was the best thing that come out from this review; not the knowledge that another of my childhood icons were destroyed but that steampunk books about Roman Empire really exists. What if Romans had steam engine was the question I asked myself - ancient Greeks had aeolipile, a steam turbine - and now I can find out! Thank you for recomendation!
@julio_scissors
@julio_scissors 10 ай бұрын
This is amazingly well-made and entertaining. Thank you for all the work you put into this!
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
That’s very kind, I’m glad you liked it!
@Mrdel7787
@Mrdel7787 10 ай бұрын
I really enjoy watching his truthful criticism on movies. I enjoy listening to his speech and the wonderful wording in his sentences! Well done 👏
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
Thanks very much!
@Eisenwulf666
@Eisenwulf666 2 ай бұрын
3:32 What an intense, poignant, wonderful little speech, masterfully delivered. So many poweful and ultimately true points. I've got goosebumps .
@ProjectRedfoot
@ProjectRedfoot 5 ай бұрын
Dude, Pimpernell Smith is so good.
@eanderson9599
@eanderson9599 10 ай бұрын
How do you pump these feature length films out so consistently? Wizardry
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
Dedication and a complete lack of social life!
@Zero-ds9ws
@Zero-ds9ws 10 ай бұрын
​@@TheLittlePlatoonThe only way to live.
@jennapreston6509
@jennapreston6509 10 ай бұрын
This is so much better than actually watching the movie... actually entertaining and even educational! Even your tangents are interesting. Thanks for another amazing video!
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
Glad you enjoyed it!
@jennapreston6509
@jennapreston6509 10 ай бұрын
​@@TheLittlePlatoon I hope you get some enjoyment out of doing this. Seems like a lot of misery to subject yourself to! Do you have a bruise from endless face palming? 😉
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
@@jennapreston6509 At this point there’s not much of a face left!
@jennapreston6509
@jennapreston6509 10 ай бұрын
@@TheLittlePlatoon so that's the reason for the animated avatar? 😉
@beardguy788
@beardguy788 10 ай бұрын
What kind of absolute psychopath makes a 3 and a half hour video about this movie? I love it.
@SammEater
@SammEater Ай бұрын
The dropped plotlines and characters just disappearing from the rest of the film truly highlights that thing Doomcock said about these movies being made like a "choose your own adventure type of book" there is no actual planning, just film a million different scenes that don't quite fit with each other and then "try to save it in edit and reshoots".
@IronDragon-2143
@IronDragon-2143 10 ай бұрын
He cannot let Disney die. We must help it die.
@leonardpimentel5865
@leonardpimentel5865 10 ай бұрын
Absolutely excellent. Thank you for all the effort that went into this. To be clear, if you ever decided to do a four hour video of you taking Kathleen Kennedy apart, calling her darling all the while, I would watch the hell out of that. In the meanwhile, thank you for your effort.
@osmanyousif7849
@osmanyousif7849 10 ай бұрын
Yeah, watching this video, makes me surprised how calm Little Platoon was brought the whole thing. Because after listening to Kathleen Kennedy and Phoebe Waller Bridge’s comments on the movie, I’d be swearing so many times that it’ll be enough to get their attention somehow. But then again, I’d probably end up getting sued for being libelous, so best to just be critical, but in a nice way….
@HappyBeezerStudios
@HappyBeezerStudios 9 ай бұрын
Crystal Skull did a good job at displaying the aged Indiana Jones. The adventurer who belongs in a museum. The archaeologist that doesn't to out digging holes anymore and becomes curator at the museum. And it can totally work to have an old Indiana Jones take a role. Something Crystal Skull attempted with having him passing the torch. And if you notice you're in a bad movie, ham it up. Bring the fun. Because bad overacting is always better than bad underacting. Be the Raul Julia in Street Fighter!
@101Futile
@101Futile 9 ай бұрын
Now all we need to ruin Indiana Jones is a prequel explaining how he got his hat and whip
@jasontibbetts9981
@jasontibbetts9981 10 ай бұрын
You do a great job, you deserve all the success your channel has gotten in the last year. You don't do hot takes, you take your time and do a critical analysis of the film, and your insights are witty, smart and a lot of fun. You offer something different, and it really is well done. Thanks for your hard work, and congrats
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
Very kind of you to say so. Much appreciated!
@ouchiegiverjr
@ouchiegiverjr 10 ай бұрын
Now even Indy 4 ain’t so bad in comparison, funny thing is I rewatched it and despite some ooof scenes, the ending was honestly really sweet, with him having a wife and son.
@MS-iy6cm
@MS-iy6cm 9 ай бұрын
Just found out about your channel. Great work, thanks a lot!
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 9 ай бұрын
Glad you liked it!
@dirkbastardrelief
@dirkbastardrelief 9 ай бұрын
"You cannot own your own likeness, any more than an atom owns the photons it reflects." -- Justice Hormel, 2051
@billusher2265
@billusher2265 10 ай бұрын
A lot of people critique this and Disney Star Wars as saying no one wants to see their childhood heroes old and defeated. The thing is, a deconstruction or a somber end to a hero character isn’t inherently bad, in fact a lot of great classic myths end like that. See King Arthur or Beowulf. It can be done well. The problem with these Disney films is they are so on those nose as going out of their way to humiliate the hero and replace him with a “better” version that is forced to the point of being unlikable. It’s just clear disrespect from writers who don’t like or understand the original story and want to insert their own values into it. Plus the movies aren’t even good in ways beyond that…
@pennym1056
@pennym1056 10 ай бұрын
It’s more like Disney is actively trying to Deconstruct old masculine heroes, as part of their ongoing war on masculinity. Multiple franchises have been doing that, like StarWars destroying Luke’s character and replacing him with Rey, the modern female protagonist.
@padenbang7375
@padenbang7375 10 ай бұрын
Logan
@TheLittlePlatoon
@TheLittlePlatoon 10 ай бұрын
Oh yeah, it can work. That‘s why I worked in the Henry Jones comparison. People don’t want to see old heroes callously assassinated with no hope in sight and no chance of redemption. There are ways to have them defeated and then returned, there are ways to portray them as aloof and distant, to do a vast number of things that aren’t shallow “hey look it’s this guy again” approaches. But we’re not getting interesting approaches. We’re getting nihilistic ones.
@Zero_2500
@Zero_2500 10 ай бұрын
It’s more like people critique Disney for doing these things extremely poorly and often ham-handedly. For example - you could deconstruct Star Wars - but not only was it done better in the EU books (which Lucasfilm owns and could have adapted in whole or part) Disney did it in a transparently malicious way. The fact that the 1st movie made 2.2 billion dollars and was well received despite being essentially episode 4 with lens flares and a bloated script shows that people were open to new characters and ideas. They are not open to disrespect and open avarice towards the franchise and fans.
@noahrombough2802
@noahrombough2802 10 ай бұрын
No, people don't mind seeing the hero lose. Case in point, King Arthur loses because he trusts Lancelot too much and fails to recognize that one of his friends has begun to hate him. Beowulf's loss is a direct result of his failure to kill Grendel's Mother, that he is too alike to Hrothgar, the very reasons that made him such a beloved hero as to be crowned King shortly after he arrives in a foreign land. For a third, Rorschach from Watchmen makes a good example. These are men who by vice and virtue, are defeated, even as they struggle against their foe. The problem with the modern "deconstruction" of the hero, e.g. Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Indiana Jones as primary examples, is that they have willfully abandoned the fight. Luke, the man who redeemed Darth Vader, chooses to murder his own nephew, because a heretofore unknown evil was trying to manipulate him, and having failed to murder his nephew, abandons him to the influence of that evil. A direct inversion of previously established traits. Han Solo, a smuggler turned General of the Rebellion against the Empire, who willingly allowed himself to be carbon-frozen on the vague hope it might spare Leia, on hearing that his son has been seduced to the dark side, abandons his wife to do... something, and Chewie just goes along with it, for some reason. But he can then be swayed by his estranged wife to give enough of a shit about his son to try to get through to him after years of not seeing him. Indiana Jones, a seemingly esteemed professor of Archaeology whose finds often keep the universities museum open, a war hero and former spy, is now a city college professor who can barely keep his class awake, is divorced from his wife, his son was killed in Vietnam, and in his own words, "Has nothing to live for". Those are not men defeated by vice and virtue, not heroes who stood tall against an enemy and were struck down. Those are broken husks, claiming a name wholly opposite to what they show themselves to be. In contrast, imagine a Rorschach who does nothing at the end of Watchmen. Who just accepts what Ozymandias has done. A Rorshach that lies, and is utterly fine with the prospect. You shouldn't be able to because, like the others, that's no longer Rorschach; it is something trading on his name but lacking the core of the character. That is the problem with modern heroes.
@stillrockin27
@stillrockin27 10 ай бұрын
That was an absolutely brilliant critique. Had me in stitches more than a couple of times ("why why why... Delilah" was golden). I definitely would have paid the entrance fee to watch this in the cinema rather than the movie. Top man!
@wrayday7149
@wrayday7149 2 ай бұрын
There is one slight tweak they could make to Bridge's character to really change a lot of the story/problems...... make her stuck in a time loop paradox. She knows all about what's happening because she can't escape the time loop but she remembers how events play out. This would explain/fix her girl boss'ing the movie because she does know everything and why she has to lead Indy around the way she does. You could then have a follow up movie where Indy figures out how to get her out of it and she can then tell him all about historical events/information she learned while stuck in the loop.
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