INFJ Misconceptions

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Type Tips

9 жыл бұрын

INFJ Misconceptions
IG: / tsaol
Website: leontsaotherapy.com
My New Channel on improving mental well-being: / @leontsao

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@faith9119 6 жыл бұрын

I'm probably the oldest person posting. I'm 58 and only learned my personality type recently. I've lived a dynamic life. I'm deep, think ocean floor. I'm strong and known for it. I'm intense, and that's the word people describe me with. I'm deeply loved and I love deeply. I embrace challenge because it seems to be the most sensible approach. I can be manipulative but mainly to bring out the best in others. Boundaries and including my own needs was a big issue for me when I was younger. Learning that caring for myself and having strong boundaries was the best thing for others gave me the ideal I needed to change this area. I affect change for the better in those around me. I'm a fantastic mother. Who would of thought? I'm most frustrated by my tendency to over complicate things and become overwhelmed. I'd really appreciate any help with this you have to offer. My word for 2018 is BALANCE. Thank you for your video!

@Rinsuki 8 жыл бұрын

Infjs care too much and then they burn out turn angry and irritable. They often times attract strong partners because their partners see them as easy to control for the most part they are fine with that until tneir partner questions their foundational base or questions their character. Once you attack an infjs values or passions you will see the dark side lol.

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 8 жыл бұрын

+Rinsuki yes, this is true!

@Nerdy-By-Nature 4 жыл бұрын

Sometimes we seek out strong partners as protectors and defenders of our own boundaries too, I believe! Because we can care too much and burn ourselves out, our "stronger" partner can step in and tell us it's our turn to take care of ourselves and say no to others ... for the time being at least 😝 I'm grateful for the Fi's in my life for this reason! They've patiently (mostly) taught me how to tap into my own needs and remind me I'm not selfish for taking care of myself.

@tarikalakkad2005 2 жыл бұрын

@@TypeTipsLeonTsao this works for INFPs too, no?

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 2 жыл бұрын

@@tarikalakkad2005 2 different types, so the characterization of misconceptions will be different

@rjh7700 2 жыл бұрын

Right on✌️

@ladynottingham89 7 жыл бұрын

You are the only person I have found on YT that has INTELLIGENTLY described socionics. I thank you. I have to admit that I have a problem with the way socionics portrays INFJs. While some parts of the description sound true-like struggling with inertia and being attracted to ESTPs like a moth to the flame-I do not consider myself inept and I don't look at my relationships as a strategy to secure status and material security for myself. I don't get offended by many things and I found those allegations insulting. Honestly, I find that way of looking at relationships to be a trait of SFJ women. No offense. I have a feeling there theories may have been cooked up by Te users. This negative descriptions have kept me from fully embracing this theory.

@Intuitioncalling 2 жыл бұрын

Your video content is highly unique 👌 INFJ

@zzzcocopepe Жыл бұрын

i freakin love INFP. thank you so much for this. it gets so annoying when people say stuff like that about us. people who say these things like that, they have ulterior motives. they're not arguing in good faith, they don't actually want to accurately identify true attributes, they just want to attack others to make themselves feel like they've won something. Or, they want to feel like they *haven't lost. Basically, "hurt people who hurt people."

@cruiseny26 9 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this. I definitely have a mixed relationship with Se. I'm a clumsy, and not in touch with my body enough to realize when I'm burnt out and fried until it's too late. But Se allows me to appreciate nature, art, and music in a profound way and because of this, I'm grateful. I don't think many of us are shallow and manipulative. Let us know when your website is up.

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 9 жыл бұрын

cruiseny26 Part of not realizing you are burnt out is actually due to Si. INFJs have Se as an inferior, but Si plays a part in the INFJ psyche as the "role" function. Si is being in tune with your bodily needs. Dominant Se types can actually go against their health too because Se is more about toughening it out and overcoming obstacles in an assertive fashion. Thus perhaps why do you not know you are burnt out is because you are applying Se over Si.

@patricianguyen7012 7 жыл бұрын

Type Tips This explains so much! Last summer I burst out crying on public transit for seemingly no reason - I was burnt out at work, but had no idea!

@c.s.70 5 жыл бұрын

@@TypeTipsLeonTsao You explain Si role in this so well, Leon. I see most places misattribute this to Se. Thanks for that clarification!

@goteamslugs Жыл бұрын

@@TypeTipsLeonTsao Yes, thank you! May God bless and be with you! =)

@emilyannesnipes4561 8 жыл бұрын

As a child, I remember one day, sitting on top of the slide in my backyard, I asked God to one day send me an adventure. As an adult, I'm not QUITE so hot on that idea, but I think that moment is a great picture of this INFJ paradox: we are thoughtful and spiritual, and a little bit badass ;) Today I satisfy my love of adventure through fiction--I love detective stories, especially the ones with noir-ish bent. And Iron Man--Oh, yeah! In real life though, I'm not drawn to men like Tony Stark. I like my guys sensitive and cerebral.

@emilyannesnipes4561 8 жыл бұрын

Oh, I also used to make up stories about myself, as an action hero. Haha, that's super embarassing, but I will share with you all anyway ;)

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 8 жыл бұрын

+Emily Anne Snipes haha I enjoy you sharing yourself. INFJs love to overshare ;P In fantasy land, are your crushes superheroes?

@patricianguyen7012 7 жыл бұрын

Type Tips Haha infj here, and I totally had a crush on Superman

@FoxMamba 9 жыл бұрын

Badass has many interpretations. Tough is what resonates with me, I don't need to express it, it is who I am. The guts to go out there to the depths of dark and light , mind, body, and spirit is a badass, plainly tough.

@deanna.radiant 8 жыл бұрын

Well.. My Infjness isn't really attracted to wealth and power when it comes to love and marriage. I'm only attracted to kind, genuine & spiritual souls. Once I was in so love with this Istj guy who was working at the McDonalds, he's the most genuine guy I ever met however later I've realized he isn't a feeler and we both had a difficult time to understand each other. I finally had to let him go & It wasn't very easy.

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 8 жыл бұрын

I was just thinking that. A fast food worker can be very zen, in fact it may be needed for the job. I know this furniture store mover who is spiritual about his job. An increase of their wages would be great they certainly can be hardworking and derive meaning from what they do.

@MichaelPiercePhilosophy 8 жыл бұрын

This was excellent and very perceptive; I'm guilty of accepting elements of this misconception myself for the very reasons you listed. I hope to reinforce what you've talked about here when I revisit the INFJ.

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 8 жыл бұрын

+Michael Pierce Glad it is of service.

@shannonlogue5585 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you for standing up for us (INFJ).

@Elfen41 5 жыл бұрын

OMG you're soooo right. I hate being portrayed as a "snowflake". I do have a dark side but doesn't everyone? I have various sides to me.

@malwhitehorn5221 8 жыл бұрын

Thank you! You made so many great points. As an INFJ, I do consider myself a badass, but it's just subjective thinking, because I really like how I think and how I see the world/other humans. I cannot imagine being myself and not thinking this way (which is my worldview), but I can imagine being someone else and thinking differently (which is having empathy). Make more videos soon, please!

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 8 жыл бұрын

+Mal Moss thanks for the encouragement, badass! :P

@borderedge6465 Жыл бұрын

It took me 2 years of KZfaq to discover this top notch content guy. Better late than never.

@colljohn97 8 жыл бұрын

Leon, I think you're so right about the variability in the way Se manifests for INFJs. Being 55 years old, I've experienced it many ways, including being in the grip many times, but for short periods of time. Overall I do like finer things, but only in select areas in moderation. Being married to an ISTJ helps keep indulgence in check. I encourage her to splurge a bit more than she would otherwise, Se being her opposing function.

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 8 жыл бұрын

Thanks John. This is an interesting relationship combo, I think there can be a lot of mutual attraction.

@CrimsonHazmat 8 жыл бұрын

8:43, definitely a love hate relationship with Se. Totally agree there

@haleykendall8124 8 жыл бұрын

I have a lot of fears and things I don't want to do. However, when it's necessary, helpful to someone else, or is just a matter of pride, I can overcome those fears and do just about anything. It's like the emotional, panicky part of my brain shuts down, and I become hyper-aware and focused. It's not a feeling I particularly enjoy, but it kind of fascinates me. It can scare me too though, because I realize that if I'm not careful, I could end up doing something that I would regret. At those times, I feel like I can do anything and am terrified of using that power for evil instead of good.

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 8 жыл бұрын

+Haley Ginn wow that is interesting, so this is the Se inferior moment.

@haleykendall8124 8 жыл бұрын

Cool! Thanks!

@Electheo 3 жыл бұрын

Loved the part about finer quality things in life but with moderation and dislike extravagances. It was reassuring to hear that that’s a healthy balance 😊

@winniewinkles 8 жыл бұрын

Wow I didn't know there was an inference of immorality in INFJ's! We are super idealistic and with quite an inflexible integrity. Is that what it is? I guess we could come off as scornful of everything not being good enough when we strive for the ideal.. Also being led by intuition and with a strong awareness of others feelings, we can easily become 'lost' in others? It is not an enjoyable experience though and requires constant vigilance to adhere to your own plans and boundaries etc. Yeah when we are young we can be quite self-destructive and decadent but that's usually a coping mechanism for being in emotional pain due to being constantly misunderstood and underutilised etc. Also like you say, true of other types too, no?

@Rinsuki 8 жыл бұрын

+Dana Zaan Very true. We feel a lot and often question how rude people can be how inconsiderate, why would anyone commit such a thing. It literally hurts us that people don't care more. Then we spiral into a downward madness where we question faith and humanity. We emerge after a while either angry with what we have found and find it unforgivable or resolve to the fact that human nature eludes us so we go in stand by mode to watch some more.

@winniewinkles 8 жыл бұрын

+Rinsuki True story!

@alaysiakayebutler6299 Жыл бұрын

I'm an infj. I am pretty fed up and uninspired by alllll the self absorbed behaviors and content that feeds into it. Self absorption limits any and all potentials, especially connections that enhance lives. It kills families, and kid's lives indefinitely. Sociopaths are multiplying because their self absorbed self seeking is now socially acceptable, deemed to be a sign of superiority. My concern for other's well-being is automatic, so benefit is given by default. I am left feeling a desire to be less caring, less helpful, less, in order to be safer in this self serving narcissisticly prone world. It sucks... The impulse to give the best of oneself becomes self defeating. That is what my self absorption is made of .. awareness that the living connected life I seek is thwarted by conditioned need to hold back.

@TaliRoseinfj 8 жыл бұрын

Thanks so much for this video! I've gotten right into MBTI and am just starting to explore socionics. I really didn't like or understand the descriptions of INFP's or INFJ's with socionics. It seemed very much to come to specific conclusions about the type that did not encompass the broader workings of the function stack. Thanks gain! (I'm yet another INFJ who's just started making vids if you wanna check it out :) )

@kgr6438 8 жыл бұрын

INFJ, new to MBTI and still inherently skeptical about it to some depth. However, I find your insights to be much more logical than many other videos I've seen so far. Of course, I also know almost nothing yet of the actual cognitive functions, but what you are saying mirrors my experience quite well in the course of trying to find out which face lies behind all the masks. It's interesting to see so many INFJs speak so assertively about aspects of their type, and yet contradict each other in subtle, yet substantial ways. It seems to me that perhaps finally feeling a little less alone in the world, combined with an excitement to learn and share, can lead us into the pitfall of mistaking subjective logic for objective, without first filtering intuitions and feelings through *actual* logic

@daniellem578 7 жыл бұрын

I'm an INFJ and dated an ESTP a briefly it was not a good match and he couldn't "get Me" he thought I was weird and crazy.. And I don't think IBFJ's secretly evil but we can see through anyone one... And know how to navigate with that person based off what we see

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 7 жыл бұрын

That is interesting, I had been researching the relationship between opposites. What did you see were some pros and cons of this sort of relationship? It is up to you to answer, I am just curious.

@daniellem578 7 жыл бұрын

Type Tips what bothered me is he kept saying he "couldn't get me".... Like I was a foreign object or something. I may have mistyped him. He may have been a ESTJ. But it was a bad match. We didn't click at all no chemistry at all. The sex was ok. But we couldn't hold a real conversation. I like deep meaningful convos and he never wanted to have any deep convos like a typical sensing personality their minds are not wired for deep conversations... Just a bad match and ESTx....

@rhysoliver227 8 жыл бұрын

Well these are some things to remember.

@ario-5925 6 жыл бұрын

You seem to know your stuff, do you, or anyone else in the comments have suggestions as how I can find out if I am INFJ or INTJ. I am absolutely positive that I am a NI dom with inferior SE, but I can't seem to wrap my head around these two types. On tests I always get INTJ, but allot of INFJ functions descriptions explain me very well...

@NamiBurger 8 жыл бұрын

why dont we just admit us INFJs can be rather sociopathic and call it a day lol this video is really helpful tho.

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 8 жыл бұрын

+NamiBurger lol haha

@SykeeNot 4 жыл бұрын

How

@octopusslayer7621 4 жыл бұрын

Psyche Naut In all sorts of ways. If there's too much red tape, then Se can fix the issue for us. If we take a dislike for someone, then Se can help us eliminate that person from our environments in rather devious ways. If we really want something, then we can bend other people's reality and perspectives in order to gain that thing. We weaponise our power to shut up and listen, studying and listening for weaknesses, not just strengths, as if we're assenssing the best way to destroy them in case we may need to. We're the only group who can penetrate a psychopath's mind and wind him into a complete state of unbridled insanity, just so to derive untold enjoyment from it. We share many narcissistic qualities with the narcissists which pop out when we're threatened, look up INFJ supernova. Since we process so much through our unconscious we may be more likely to use less accessible abilities at will (?) Our cold, analytical thinking minds also help us to justify the use of our narcissistic qualities. I supppose we have been designed to fight evil so in-built moral and ethical shortcuts is something wired into us - pre-existing pathways are too much of a temptation to ignore when less than desirable tasks need to be dealt with, which thankfully our Se helps us justify and excuse. A mature INFJ is not a councillor, she's a Joan of Arc warrior - fights by weaponosing spirituality whilst not beyond using lesser evil against greater evil. That said, we are mostly decent moral people most of the time. Nothing to fear, as long as you're not inherently evil yourself. Also, most INFJs do not reach this level of self awareness, their unsavory tasks are conducted in a conscious/unconscious manner, so they'll mostly deny it or get confused by it. As for seeking power and wealth. Yes, but not in the traditional sense. Some may seek someone powerful because it is easier, or ore expedient, to exert our will through a single person to influence over many - it takes less energy to manipulate 100 through 1 than 100 directly. (Don't assume that we manipuate for evil purposes, either, the majority of our socipathic tendency for manipulation is directed to help those we see fit of our help). As for money, we like pretty things, but we're not voraciously greedy people - we aim for comfort, pleasure and for things which stimulate emotions within us (this is why our possessions are so precious to us).

@reemash1770 7 жыл бұрын

I think I'm an average infj that consistently in the se grip, only in my day dream not in reality.

@ScythosMusic 8 жыл бұрын

Been reviewing MBTI for some time now(about a year) and like many others i find myself quite stuck because my biggest trait over the years has been adaptability to my surroundings. I've typed at different time from ENFJ, ISTP, INFP, INTJ and INFJ. Even reviewing these types and several cognitive function tests because of my adaptions I've developed several functions very strongly at different times and now I float in a weird I'm not sure what's happening phase. I feel very close to the INTJ archetype and with watching your video on the INTJ paradoxes I can definitely see myself in that, with the exception of the fact that I'm a really competitive person with others and myself. Anyway... I guess my question is would an INFJ, INFP or INTJ be known for adapting like this? If so which more likely to get themselves stuck in an adapted mode?

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 8 жыл бұрын

Hi Hannibal, I now offer typing services, just email leontsaocoaching@gmail.com

@PurpleStripedNarwhal 8 жыл бұрын

I used to joke that my friend (INFJ) was secretly planning to take over the world. This is so accurate

@cass8330 3 жыл бұрын

What's your type?

@cass8330 3 жыл бұрын

The infjs of the world are rallying together and coming after you

@PurpleStripedNarwhal 3 жыл бұрын

@@cass8330 ISTP!

@SmittenKitten. 8 жыл бұрын

I'm married to an ISTP, but didn't like him in the beginning because I couldn't understand him. I've come to really love his quirks, his easy-going nature and even his crassness... ESPECIALLY his crassness. I love his brilliant mind (he's an aerospace engineer), even though it seems to be filled to the brim with filth. Does this make me an INFJ badass? I suppose we need a firm definition of "badass" before we can carry on. ;)

@SmittenKitten. 8 жыл бұрын

+SmittenKitten Btw, I'm loving your videos!! You're so brilliant.

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 8 жыл бұрын

+SmittenKitten I can see it in their eyes sometimes the INFJ badassness. lol if that is a word! Basically the INFJ mind can wander quite afar into what others consider amoral landscapes.

@SmittenKitten. 8 жыл бұрын

Type Tips Hahaha... That's frighteningly accurate. Your insight is unbelievable!!

@payalive 5 жыл бұрын

dude please do an infj good careers video

@ChantelStays 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this... I wonder why socionics does this to infj eh? I am INFp in socionics and test infj in Mbti. Type 4w5

@rjh7700 Жыл бұрын

Yeah, I'm a badass INFJ of the turbulent variety. (Why did I type that!!!) Lol

@jmarcusriley5398 6 жыл бұрын

Your good

@KendrixTermina 8 жыл бұрын

For all it's insights, socionics really goes over board/overemphasizes the whole duality crap - sure, it's worked for some people, but so have most combinations. You're VERY right about the complexity of the inferior and how many ppl would totally decry those exesses or take them personally somehow, maybe because we understand the temptation? Though it's just as possible to plain misunderstand ("If it sucks for me, it must suck for everyone") and that's how we get insensitive assholes complaining about their "whiny" girlfriends and this whole "Measuring the Marygolds" complex ("Logic & Science are evil and joyless") I do know of ppl who have been easily manipulated through appealing to their inferior but that's just one more reason to be careful about it. Also, poor ESTPs. It's not like "I want to be a supervillain's assistant please!" is the only reason anyone would ever marry them.

@selvmordspilot 8 жыл бұрын

I'm dating an INFJ - and she may well be the biggest badass I have ever met.. I absolutely adore her - and could wish for nothing more than that the feeling was mutual. Sincerly, a sad INTP

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 8 жыл бұрын

its ok! I wish for you it turns out the way you want with all my heart.

@patricianguyen7012 7 жыл бұрын

selvmordspilot Aww :)

@miguel555678 9 жыл бұрын

Good video. It seems a bit insane come up with a type description based on the unhealthiest members of the type. I know very little about socionics. Why do you thing they do it?

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 9 жыл бұрын

Miguel Gonzalez Its to counter the overly positive portraits of the MBTI and kind of "dig deep" into the type. Basically, going into another extreme.

@michaelkeating9514 8 жыл бұрын

I'm not on the infj dark side I'm a infj jedi

@selvmordspilot 8 жыл бұрын

Okay Obi Wan, let's see how that works out for you.

@SykeeNot 4 жыл бұрын

I believe in all this theory of different types of people having different cognitive functions and function sets/orders.This theory was mainstreamed or popularized,made known to the general public, because of Carl Jung,an infj.Which I hypothesize, is the best suited type to grasp and understand these concepts.Additionally the infj understands for what I’d like to think is simply for understanding’s sake.So not taking the “stereotypes” of types (which they are to an extent) at face value,not understanding the actual essence of what is being explained when dealing with type theory is what I believe most other types don’t do....hence your reason and purpose for and of this video

@rhysoliver227 8 жыл бұрын

Hey leon you think psychological illness like psychopathology and sociopatholigy could be explained via typology from loops and the grip etc? Like maybe we just dont understand how others work and then how to help them be healthy? From a strange young man. An Infj who loves your videos.

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 8 жыл бұрын

I think that there are quite certain links. Though much of psychological illness is not limited to type factors.

@rhysoliver227 8 жыл бұрын

True enough. We with our knowledge can help those we are aware of.

@JungINFJ 2 жыл бұрын

smart man

@PlumGustave 2 жыл бұрын

Yes. Love him!! ♥️✨🌟

@Marie12Joan 8 жыл бұрын

what do you mean by encountering the shadow? Is one particular shadow function?

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 8 жыл бұрын

INFJ shadow: Ne Fi Te Si

@Marie12Joan 8 жыл бұрын

yes so just encountering them in general. anyone of them?

@AnthonyRodriguez-dl4up 8 жыл бұрын

def a badass would love to do a interview some time? Im an INFJ anagram 9w8, can talk about most functions just ask me the questions and stuff like that

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 8 жыл бұрын

+salad bowl Sure, email me leontsaocoaching@gmail.com

@acer0255 4 жыл бұрын

What is a badass?

@AnthonyRodriguez-dl4up 8 жыл бұрын

PART 2 ASAP

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 8 жыл бұрын

+salad bowl I kind of have part ii under a different name: INFJ Hidden Agenda.

@AnthonyRodriguez-dl4up 8 жыл бұрын

just watched it loved it! also i am super interested in talking about the psychic powers of Ni and stuff like that! I practice meditation and spend lots of time studying enlightenment, i can come up with a few topics and we can discuss them :)

@TypeTipsLeonTsao 8 жыл бұрын

+Intuit4Dayz TR Ok. Go to my About section and send me an email.