What have you felt or been told you are too much of? Share with me in the comment section below. ✨

Standard scenarios... - Person violates infp boundary - I kindly ask them not to do it again - Person DELIBERATELY does it again - I go off on them & they can't take it

Want too much... Desire too much... Too emotional... Feel too much... Too sensitive... All of these resonate a lot!

I was triggered because people want me to: - Take Too much crap from them - Give Too much to them - Be Too much to them & - Do Too much for them

Yes! I can relate. I’m always trying to make myself smaller when I feel like I’m being “too much”. My goal in this decade of my thirties is to stop worrying about being too much.

Yep - I resonate with the overthinking part and having people not liking that. It gets to the point where I get paralyzed and end up not being able to stay in a job because I start to believe evetything I do is wrong and that it's either seen as too much (when really Im just trying to be as ethical as possible and deliver the best)

I found a woman who understands me!

I gave up on trying to belong to people. But I will make myself small to be of benefit to others. Too much excitement, enthusiasm, sorrow. grief, attitude, focused on details, too judgemental.

I remember this even from the times I was a child. I remember going to say something and then I just stopped, thinking "oh no, kids don't talk that way" and then I simplified my words on purpose. Because I was feeling that I am too much for a child, not fitting into that "role" of a child.

I wonder if that sensation is related to something mentioned in a previous video about not wanting to be the centre of attention? I think the context was in terms of Art, and wanting the artwork to speak for itself without having to be the show person “selling” it to the world, but in this case could that same underlying urge also be applied to “knowledge” in this example - I want to express my knowledge or insight, but I don’t want the association to myself or I feel suddenly self-aware that I’m being the mouthpiece. I can certainly relate :)

I love being too much, I love being extra, I love overwhelming people. However, I noticed it shouldn't be done out of ego and need for attention. When it done genuinely to force a paradigm or to enlighten a perspective or to encapsulate a moral spectrum. It extremely powerful and in most cases can only be pulled off by an INFP-t

I think that people sometimes are selfish (even ourselves), and they only want to have someone that relates to them, they share, they interact, and we're at the other end of that scope, passively listening and taking it all in. But we also need to interact. We need for somebody to finally understand US, to think deeply TOGETHER, to BE intense in every way. Because we're not intense...we're just giving our all.

OK I cried for 10 minutes straight after hearing this and discovering for the 1st time that other people relate to this, who else ?

That poem made me cry. I think it hit a nerve because I have not been very kind to myself lately. I struggle to accept me the way I am, even when friends tell me they love me the way I am. But thank you for bringing that out. I feel you on the "narrative" that comes up sometimes. I don't think anyone could think you are arrogant though, you seem so warm and friendly!

I've been told I laugh too loud, am too emotional, ask too many questions, a know-it-all, and too judgmental. INFJ, HSP

Anyone who says you ask too many questions has something to hide. Subconsciously, they want you to accept the standard of their own self-deceit. It helps them sleep at night- deflecting that self-judgement on you. Thank you for sharing. 💗. I struggle w that prefix often, but I’m happy to say our other aspects balance us out, so it’s just a transient stage of awareness. We think on our feet and we question on our feet! 😉

Yes. I can relate. Not long ago I got the sting of it. Someone I used to call a friend pretty much said I was too intense, needy, and overwhelming. She tried to use other words but I'm not an idiot and understood what she didn't have the spine to actually say. I understood it because it set my whole being on fire and left me feeling shame for four days straight. Intellectually I know I was simply being myself in ways she never dares to be so obviously she doesn't have the range for someone like me. And yet, it hurt so much it left me without any desire to go out and find any other people for a while. I can't do social anymore. I wish I could fully feel comfortable with being who I am out loud, but being around people who don't like it or can't take it all the time really takes a toll. Thank you for making content that speaks to us. I hope you're doing well and I hope other INFPs didn't make you steer clear from ever working with us. Big hug.

When I talk too much, or share too much. When I do a lot, I’m really deep, it’s uncomfortable for some. Feel emotions really in intensely, the poetry at the start is me, you are describing me.

I hear that. Yes, I avoid people so they don't humiliate me with their exasperation.

I can relate. As an INFPT, I have many times went with my desire to be the best I can, the idealist, follow the path of growth and either been told, or possibly picked up on other’s energy that I’m getting to big. That in order to continue to be with this person as a coworker, friend, relationship that I need to be that small quiet woman that fits in the box they made for me. I’ve come to the conclusion that if I need to stay small for them, then, maybe these are not people that are the best for me. Not the people that will allow me to grow and bloom.

I don’t think it’s “overthinking” but maybe it’s just thinking deeply.

I too, struggle with the seemingly conflicting need to fit in vs. stand out. Knowing how much is too much only happens in retrospect for me.

💛💛💛 For me I feel I've gotten a lot of backlash for "knowing too much". But it was also with people who are already opposed to me from the word go. Its definitely a pattern that's from my family so I felt like I was too much because I didn't think my questions or suggestions are helpful. So the challenge was to still believe what I'm saying even though there's backlash so when I finally meet responsive people, I'll still have my voice.

You're right. It's something that's assigned to you by someone who doesn't understand you, or isn't ready or in the right frame of mind. It's not always how you are. It's just how they describe you.

To a certain degree, I felt like I'm been losing sight of myself and my reality because I've always used others as the sounding block for my reality and if the two belief systems fit then I'd compromise to make them meet. But lately I feel like I've been bouncing against walls because bonding ideas like I used to isn't going to get me to where I want to be. (The values don't align)It's the first time I've felt like I need to really stand alone and that I'm mentally panicking, flailing my arms trying to keep my balance because there's no support structure where there once was and I kept navel gazing trying to figure out why I was behaving the way I was that I actually started worrying that I was becoming too self interested. Then there was that crushing feeling of worrying about revealing the chaos and repelling people for being too much and worrying about how my fears might be getting the best of me and are destroying my relationships because I always feel so needy and dependant.But now that I've seen this I'm really shaken. I feel a bit more at peace with the emotions I've been feeling. Your videos have been so helpful to me. Thank you.

(2nd comment, sorry!!!) I'm INFP-T, multipotentialite, HSP, blabla.. and I study psychology. You're such an inspiration. Talking with honesty, with your heart, but still professional and beautiful. You really make me love my degree and are a model for my future. Thank you for building hope within me!!

I'm glad you exist 🙏🏾

I feel so validated by your video! I have been given side glances and rolled eyes because I ask "too" much questions. But, my real question for these people is "How am I supposed to know what you're saying if you don't explain yourself or what you need?" Lovely video Ms Dory Linda. Thank you!!

I’m so glad I kept scrolling down your videos and ended up finding this one, this is what I needed to hear right now because I’ve been having these thoughts and these feelings recently, the too much person, and also that conflict with stopping myself now and going back to the observant and quiet me I used to be or letting it grow and see where this goes bc I kind of feel like I’ve never been like this, like I’ve never felt like this or let myself be this free and I honestly like this part of me because I’m learning a lot and kind of losing some pressure, but at the same time I can feel that trigger you talk about here. I don’t know if I am making any sense right now, just wanted to thank you for making me feel understood and not alone, I loved the text you shared and am definitely going to read more of the authors work. Please keep going I discovered your channel a few hours ago and I love your content and how you express and put a lot of emotion into it 💜

For my "too much" fellows, a poem of Pearl Buck: A touch is a blow, A sound is a noise, A misfortune is a tragedy, A joy is an ecstasy, A friend is a lover, A lover is a god, And failure is death. Hope you like it ☆

I stop myself all the time from saying too much because of this feeling. I recently took a personality test & I am INFP-T. It led me to your channel. I am very grateful to you. Keep up the great work

"who decides what level of thinking is appropriate and what is too much?" I loved that line a lot. I get that sometimes I may think further into things and find meanings that may not be there, but that's just how my mind works. It shouldn't be classified as too kuch just because not everyone thinks the same way. Your videos are always so affirming. I do feel like too much a lot of the time. It's very hard for me to ask questions in school or even fill in gaps during conversation with information that I already know for fear of coming off as a show off or know it all. I also related to a lot of the poem you shared. It's so beautiful. Thank you ❤️

Also, you DON’T need to play into PC politics... they need to flex to your ways as much as you do for them. The thing abt life is evolving our ways & to find that piece of clarity is not based on assumption, but asking the RIGHT questions, which will always attract the right people to you. Regardless, you will always receive the kind of info you need to understand how big the bridge needs to be to mend the gap. This in itself will help you find the approach to how to ask the right way w those that are resistant to this evolved state of being. Ty for the poem prose. It was on point & I can tell you smiled on the belly-filled laugh. I did too. 😊

The Aftermath...(for me) starts with 1 Rumination 2 Regret 3 Reflection 4 Realization 5 Rest Physically 6 Recover Internally Then.... 7 Reestablish my infp Boundary or 8 REMOVE the offender from my Life OR A Combination of BOTH 7 and 8 9 Reenergize with Art project or Declutter 10 Refocus

Wow i loved that writing! I like to joke about having the "too much gene" 😅 I heard the "you're too (much)..." phrase often from my ex boyfriends. The funny thing is, while one guy was saying "you're too boring", another one was saying "you're too extreme", "you talk too much" etc. and one even said "you're too happy" as if it was a bad thing. But it always came down to I'm too different and they want someone who is more like them.. and of course people think I'm too dreamy and idealistic and I need too much time. - INFP-A

I'm definetely too much and i won't apologize anymore

Yeah I got to get better of expecting perfection and instant results. I have a habitual habit of putting the cart before the horse, a figure of speech if you don't mind. I get in these habitual loops sometimes because they're comforting. I do feel deeply and sometimes I have a hard time knowing if it's me or am I feeling into someone else's emotions in the room. What I learned is no one is too much in my opinion. We all have dreams and beliefs. What works for some doesn't work for others. I'm finding today that I want to keep a journal which I've never consistently done before. Back to the too much thing. We want to be authentic but I'm finding out there's steps to get there. You got to take care of yourself in regular society too. You can't just be aloof like I can be at times. My knowledge that I have done a lot of research in is: self-discovery and eschatology, which is end of days stuff. I get stuck in the idiosyncrasies of religion. I get obsessed with finding truth. Sometimes absolutes take over my mind. Anyway, I'm a dreamer and my goal is finding some truth that I can bring to the world. I'm a devil's advocate too. I get in the way when some things take longer to develop because again I want instant results. Hopefully we can all find our way, find out our purpose, and follow our hearts and accomplish are dreams with God.

I'm so enthused to have come across your channel, all in Yah's timing. Most blessings to you and yours Ms.Dory, your content is bringing me to a new level of awareness! :D

Hi! I’m new here. I watched your INFP-t Careers Advice video just a few minutes ago and immediately subscribed! I absolutely LOVE that the basis of your channel is to inform people of INFP characteristics while also being an outlet to share your processes and growth and reflections, and this in turn has created a little community for us INFPs. Your video was recommended to me after coming from Frank James’s channel. I had been watching his videos on introvert traits. But your videos......even more relatable. It’s so lovely reading about other people’s experiences, very validating, reassuring, and makes me feel less lonely ESPECIALLY during this COVID-19 pandemic. First off I wanted to say, I can empathize with the feeling of...I personally wouldn’t call it wanting to be ‘small’ because I do like being listened to and understood as I am someone who would do that unto others (though I am also aware that not everyone is like that; I’m continuously working still learning to be mindful of this specific outlook of mine)..not wanting to come off as wanting to be ABOVE others. I very much like holding myself at an EQUAL level, so I tend to shy away from asking questions-whether that’s in class or not-because of the feeling that it would put me either above (feeling like “wow she’s way smarter but she doesn’t have to show off”) or below (feeling like they’re thinking “she’s totally clueless, has no idea what she’s talking about”) other people. And I honestly think my upbringing and being Asian-Filipina-has been a main contributor to this way of thinking. Growing up, my mom always called me “lazy”, which I admit I still struggle distinguishing from demotivation and recharging my battery, in comparison to others. My dad, on the other hand, has conditioned my siblings and I to be mindful whenever we are unintentionally NOT “being small” which has led to this mindset of also thinking I’m always at fault and that everything is in my control. I was wondering perhaps it could be the root of yours as well, being a person of color. I’ve slowly been gaining confidence in being okay with who I am. An introvert, an empath, etc., etc., but I’ve definitely now gained tenfolds of that confidence because I have lost friends (almost all of the ones I did get close to and still consider good friends who genuinely cared for me) and most days feel guilty for their leaving me due to my need to recharge often. I still struggle with coming out truthfully to them and outrightly saying “look I’m just not in the mood to be around people, but if you wanna send me texts and send random stuff, I’ll definitely open and respond.........once I’m in the mood to interact and give my undivided attention” because I STILL feel as though it’s selfish ? but it really is how I feel. 99% of the time, I end up making excuses as to why I can’t hang out or talk. It’s not that I don’t care about them. It’s quite the opposite even though they might not feel that way. So most days just this feeling alone mentally, emotionally, physically drains me and it leads to an endless cycle of guilt and insecurity. However, I do feel better knowing I’m absolutely not alone in this. Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with this better? (I have never written such a long, reflective, vulnerable comment before, especially on a social media platform, ahhhhh!)

I love this video. I get that thrown at me I'm too sensitive or I think too much. I don't know where to draw the line either. I love the setting its so calm and soothing. I also love the topic as I'm not a business person so sometimes when I watch your more business centric videos I have to glean information to use. This video was a feast of relatableness. Thank you thank you!

First I love the poem. I am going to read that later and save it. You always touch on things that I have experienced and identify with. Yes I have had that "too much" feeling especially at work. My conclusion was that it seemed to be with people who were had some insecurity or ego issues themselves so because I did not want confrontation etc. I leaned back and laid low. But that was just my way of handling it. I also think that your "too much" is coming from a place of being passionate and wanting to share thoughts and information like you do on this channel. Sometime it can come from a place of emptiness and neediness but that is NOT YOU. Thanks for sharing this and I hope all of your groups are productive and helpful.

5:59 "I have so many pieces that sometimes I struggle to see them aligned" Even though I discover something new every single day (too curious), there's still a long way to go (too much)

I really wish I could translate it to portuguese, wich is my mother tongue. My English isn't that good, but more people deserve to watch this!!!

I can relate so much ! Being a content creator in the finance space, I always wonder if I’m being too much, that no one is going to collaborate with me and as a result I think small. I’m ALWAYS thinking and it’s exhausting. I haven’t figured out how to process It but it definitely happens often 🙃

What a beautiful personality you have. I don't think you would personally do things to hurt anyone. And anyone coming in a loving and caring way can just about say anything to help others. God gave us and molded us into each personality. We must stay true to God and our selves, and grow for the pleasure of the Lord. Take courage, stand up, and press on. 🌼❤☀❤🌼

I think as an INFP, I am too much. My daughter told me I am too intense. I try to stay away from people. I know they don't understand me. I think quite differently than other people do. 75% of the world are sensors and I am intuitive, so I can read people. That makes them uncomfortable, that I know things about them they don't want known. Even though I am completely myself and open to people, they can't see me at all. I see them, they can't see who I am. It is a strange feeling.

I love the poem! Goosebumps all over. Also I found you just yesterday and it is amazing.... Suddenly I felt understood, I can totally relate to what you shared. Being too much... The story of my life 😊💜.. Much love from Austria

Thank you so much. I appreciate you because I only discover who I am today.

This vid really speaks to Infps to the level that there are no dislikes at all :-)

My Supervisor recently gave me an eval on my art lessons. My lessons are too much. I’m too much of a social justice warrior. My art holds a lot too. I don’t think this job is going to work out.

Best video ever! ❤

This was absolutely beautiful (everything from the poem to your reflection). Thank you so so much for sharing. I feel seen. You were capable to put in words something that I've always felt.

I agree with you. The only thing that is not the same for me it’s that I don’t feel that I know a lot of things. I try to explain myself, but most the times I appear to be the one that does not know anything, and I just don’t try to say what I think anymore, being afraid to be wrong, or to sound stupid. Thanks for the video. I loved it

Thanks Dory for sharing this beautiful poem and for sharing your reflections and process in this way. ❤️

Oh wow! That passage is the best! I must share that with my wife. Thank you for sharing this!!!

Thanks Dory, wish I find your channel sooner 🖤

I'm very passionate and I've even apologized to others for me being so "extra" but I'm learning to embrace this

So listening to that poem made me stop think, I am the one who thinks these things of others as an INFP and HSP myself I feel overwhelmed with people who are too “extra” 😕

I'm crying T_T save meee pleaseeee.. I don't know how to heal myself but I would do anything for others . I might edit this comment later Haha cause I feel like saying so much more. This Is a safe space right???

Great video.

You are amazing

I haven't related so much to something in so long

My dream has always been being able to be.

I'm guessing the poem in the video is influenced by Maya Angelou's poems Phenomenal Woman and Still I Rise. I also suspect that ESTJs and ENTJs, which you are more likely to meet in business forums think we INFPs are too much when we try to have a deep conversation with them in which we find ourselves touching on the difficult emotions they feel they don't have time to explore. It's a guess but I suspect those personality types struggle with feelings as much as we sometimes struggle with making decisions and being proactive in the world. Of course, while ESTJs and ENTJs might not understand us, many other personalities love us because we're great listeners and are like an oasis in an emotional desert. Anyway, if it makes anyone on here feel better about those moments that they feel their passionate soul is too much for others, I'm going to be far too much for you in this comment by including a poem. A STORY OF HOPE Paul David McDonagh 'Hope is the thing with feathers,' said Emily Dickinson over one hundred and fifty years ago. And over two thousand years earlier a woman with a box, after unleashing all the evils into the world, stood beside the Gods watching as four of the darkest horses with their skeleton riders rode off, across the open fields which surrounded them, leaving a dark trail in their wake. And once the sound of the laughing skeletons and thunder of dark hooves had been dulled into the distance, a pale half-dead man in a black cloak with a farmer's scythe pulled himself out the box, looked at the gods that stood around him, bowed briefly, winked as he nodded, and then skipped along the path before him, whistling a merry tune. The gods, in their surprise, leaned forward. They looked deep into Pandora's box, but having seen everything before, thought it must be empty. It wasn't. Inside was the thing with feathers: a strange creature of flight that has more in common with the Chimera than with Pegasus; Hope flew out the box. It stared into Pandora's eyes for a moment then flew above their heads and away towards the sky. Since that day, Hope has flown into many battlefields - whispered into the ears of fathers soon to lose their battle with death, and in the hearts of mothers dying in childbirth. It whispered the lies: your death has meaning, your love will survive beyond this moment. Through the centuries it has visited many deathbeds, prisons and places of despair, but still it was never enough. Its feathers, once mostly white with black around the edges, became progressively grey. It flew lower until it found itself unable to remember flight; the hearts of men beat to despair. Then it discovered those hands that fought with pens, not swords and saw, perched in their words, a way of visiting men and women on the battlefield of the mind. Soon it rediscovered how to fly in the hearts of women living restricted lives, in men that knew they'd face death too young, and in the works of all those that imagined children growing up without love but hoped for more. Now, it has flown through my window and nips the soft flesh between my knuckles. I have been reminded to tell you since the day that it decided to look into Pandora's eyes, and saw tears fall down her cheeks and the gods laughing, it knew two things: the gods would play with the hearts of men and women, and it had found its purpose. It was not here to offer us the truth but knowledge that whatever games the gods may play with you, you can endure your suffering because, unlike them, Hope beats within you. I hope you liked the poem. I could have included a poem about an angel that was over 200 lines long, but perhaps that would have been far too much even for a gracious INFP. Just a little joke there to make you smile.

Have you done the enneagram test yet? They go pretty hand in hand. It’s very insightful!

How about eating too much? I know binge eating (emotional eating / eating disorder) is an issue, but (I can't control): 1. every time my family point out my problem, I just get frustrated and eat more 2. when no one is around I start eating without stop until someone shows around Why I can't behave when being with myself, am I too much in everything with myself, or everything is too much for me....

Alsooo I'm an infp t and 4w3

Its ok for INFPs to trigger others, but when others trigger INFP there is uproar.

I am trough so many things in my life. So many things were overwhelming to me. I can relate. I felt things so deep, I was EXTREM creative. Today, I'm little older and I learned to speak for and with myself in a different way. Everytime, when I think too much about thinks I have done, I spell a mantra "Don't hurt your feelings" maybe. Nobody have to hurt himself for taking a risk, for going forward. If someone can't take it, you have to talk to yourself or an INFP or ENFJ friend. They are helpful. I have 3 INFP friends and one ENFJ friend. I'm very happy about it.