Another good one! I’ve been using your analogy of how if you do win the lottery even after sleeping little for several days - you feel great (!) a lot 😁

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 I think I just realized that I probably spend too much time fantasizing about winning the lottery!

@@InsomniaCoach haha one day 😝!

Amanda! Thanks so much for this insightful comment. For anyone reading this - it’s literally impossible to fail at something that cannot be done. It’s like failing at turning your hair green by willpower. And yes, meeting this idea that we failed with kindness, I believe this is the way. Thanks for being in touch and hope to talk soon!

Hi Gemini19, and thanks so much for this kind and encouraging comment!! So glad it made sense. And you know, it's a very unfortunate situation right now because doctors have literally 0 training and understanding of insomnia... hopefully we can change this! Be well and stay in touch!!

Yes! This is a very important realization 👍

Me too. You are not alone.😢

Thanks Edda! I hope this will help you find a path to not experiencing as much frustration!

I'm beginning to think this is perhaps the most important teaching of all, being more gentle and kind to oneself. Thanks for commenting Monica, and hope you have a good weekend!

We all need to stop being so hard on ourselves

My problem was perfection especially because i hate losing sleep, as it’s bad for my gym gains :/ but I’m no longer going to stress over this

Hi again Stephanie, I left a reply on another post with some pointers and I'll just add: You are absolutely not alone! Every human being is unique and special, but insomnia is always the same. Nothing special about it. You'll get to the place you want to be. It may be a bumpy road but you'll get there!

Abby, I truly believe this is all you need... just being aware that you’re hard on yourself... the rest will follow... and thanks so much for the support!!

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you. I just cried reading your message haha. I’m a mess but I’ve not really spoke about this to anyone in any depth other than ‘ aww yeah I’m tired, I don’t sleep well, blah blah’ try not to go on about it and no one knows how bad the anxiety has got around it all. It’s just this hole I seem to have fallen into since about February this year. Never been a fantastic sleeper but it never bothered me til I did that stupid thing of googling insomnia and found all that stuff on FFI and SFI, that seemed to open up a can of worms and I didn’t sleep at all for 3 nights after that, just wide awake and twitching with anxiety which of course in my head I put down to being symptoms. Anyway it’s 10 months later, I’m still alive, I’m still functioning, still walking and talking and all these things that I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be if any of those fears were true. Yet still I don’t sleep! So I lay there being hard on myself, getting more and more frustrated that I can’t just go to bed like a ‘normal’ person. Sorry this has turned into an essay! I’m just very grateful to have found your channel and finally not feel so alone.

@@Fantabbydozy2608 Abby, it means so much that you shared this and I’m so happy you found this channel. If you haven’t already, do look at the success stories playlist. When I talk to Michelle or Jim or Bryan or Malena... they were all in that place you’ve been and doing really well... you’ll get there too!!

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 sorry I appear to not be very intelligent 😂 I have searched for the videos but can’t seem to find them. Sorry to be a total inconvenience but please could you point me in the right direction or link them somehow? 🤷‍♀️😂 Also just wanted to let you know that last night I managed to sleep more. Still woke up after 2 and half hours but managed to go back to sleep for another 2 and half hours whereas normally I’d just lay there panicking about the fact that I’d woken up after spending hours trying to get to sleep in the first place. I told myself there was no issue here, I haven’t forgotten how to sleep I’m just anxious but there is no reason to be angry with myself. Must have worked because the next thing I knew it was 7:30am! Haven’t slept past 4:30am in months. So I’m hoping it’s a small step in the right direction so thank you.

This was me. Total panic! It's a learned response to not sleeping. You have to practice not having that response by using acceptance and mindfulness and understanding that not sleeping won't hurt you. You absolutely WILL go back to normal. It's your desire to sleep and your fear about not sleeping that keeps you awake. If you practice thinking that it doesn't matter if you sleep, eventually you will and it won't hurt you if you don't. And you don't have FFI. I thought that once too. We all think that. You are just like all of us. You are not crazy. You will be just fine. :)

Anita thanks so much for these kind words 😊 You know, I call this “sleep envy” and it’s very common. As always, emotions become fleeting when we don’t blame ourselves for them or think we shouldn’t feel them… so just noting that you’re angry and meeting it with “aha, I’m angry, and that’s not strange or something I will criticize myself for” can help much. Now there’s something else as well, learning about the people you’re envious of: When you think about someone who sleeps really really well, it can seem like they have some control that you have lost or you never have. It can seem like other people can control sleep and control their thoughts and that you need to figure out how they do that. Now if you would ask that person who sleeps really well for the secrets, they will share it with you. If you ask them how do you sleep so well, they will shrug and go “eehm, dunno…” And this truly is the secret. Is the absence of effort, the absence of trying that allows sleep to happen. And also the absence of self judgment. It is very common that someone who struggles with sleep is also someone that tends to be a high achiever and somebody who tends to be hard on themselves and expect a lot from themselves. Which can make it a little bit trickier but very doable to go in the same direction as the person who sleeps so well. Let go of attempts of trying to control sleep and most importantly - be kind to yourself! Because remember, no human being can control their sleep or their thoughts, so when you are hard on yourself for not “being able” to do that, you’re hard yourself for not “being able” to do something that is literally impossible! Being aware of the above and being kind to yourself even when there’s thoughts that are uncomfortable… I think this is they wayzzz

Way…

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you, Daniel! there's also the problem of anger at the universe but that's just a trip down a one-way street called self-pity. Your whole way of thinking about sleep really helps me.

Anytime, so glad you’re here, and this sounds very nice 😊

Yup, for me it’s full-on sleep envy, a sort of sleep FOMO that does not ever feel like the best angel of my nature.😢

Jason, so happy you’re here 😊

Hi Christian! Thanks for being in touch and you know, you're on to something big here. No question whatsoever that sleep is passive and happens when we are not thinking about sleep. This said, it's very hard, I actually think it may be impossible, to actively decide not to think about something and then be successful with that. Weirdly, it's when you don't pressure yourself not to think about something, when you're not judging your thoughts, when you allow whatever thoughts happen to happen, that's when the brain no longer see a need to send you all these warning thoughts! And it sounds like you've been on a journey where you're not resisting as much and seeing good things come your way. Something that always helps is not knowing/tracking sleep, That's a super powerful way of letting go of control that I think could really help you sleep better! Be well now and stay in touch!

100% I hope exactly what you said here came across in this video.. Thanks for sharing this and welcome to the channel Paul!

Nikol, sorry to hear what happened but, I’m very glad you found the channel early on! Even when you start understanding, it may be a little bit of a bumpy stretch ahead, because for the brain to get scared it happens fast, for it to get unscared it takes a bit more time... but you’ll soon be back to baseline I’m sure. Thanks so much for taking the time to write this nice comment!

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thanks so much, because I just had a sleep!

Hi Akshay and thanks as always for the input and support! You know, I think the most important thing that comes to mind here is attribution. When sleep happens, it’s really always because you weren’t trying to sleep, you were willing to be awake, you were not resisting. So whenever you sleep well, you have an opportunity to reinforce that sleep comes from no effort! Whenever I read “I managed to drift off” or “I manage to get rid of my sleep issues” this tells me that there’s great opportunity! Because when you see that you actually slept well because you managed not to do any management, in other words sleep happened because you weren’t trying to manage anything, that’s big! Because it shows you the magic of nothingness! I know it’s so counterintuitive but really ponder this snd you’ll see that your path is illuminated for you! By the way, that sam applies to jerks, it’s the same path!

Hang in there Katherine, it’s so natural that we feel disappointed when we see we can’t do anything, and this reaction… it changes thanks to heart work

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thank you for the encouragement.

Hi Rokaya. Sorry to hear what’s been happening and I want to say make sure you talk to your parents whenever you’re concerned about your health! You will find plenty of videos here on this channel where we talk about how there is no evidence that little sleep or insomnia causes any type of health problems like becoming crazy. There’s no evidence that little sleep causes death or harm. Hang in there, make sure you’re parents know and I hope this channel will help!

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 im sorry I have another question , the 3 or 4 hours I sleep , I don't feel that I slept at all , do I consider this a deep sleep or that my organs are at least relaxed or not? And does it take time to get back to normal sleeping ? I've watched some of your video and they are the reason why I slept those two days but I don't feel like I slept at all .

Hi! You know, when someone is in this hyperarousal state, it often doesn’t feel like you slept at all. Sometimes it just seems like time skips ahead. This is nothing unusual!

Anytime Akshay! And you know I always try to answer questions here in the comment section 👍👍

Anytime! Glad it made sense and hope the renovation stays on schedule 🙂!

Hi Rebekah, I can’t remember what I said here so with the risk of repeating myself, so do I!

Hi Victor, Yes I think they are some type of myth. There really are no hacks or tricks that can allow sleep to happen in my opinion!

Hang in there Aya, I think nothing helps more than self kindness… and when we are mad at ourselves… we have this invitation

Same here. At least you are not alone.😢