How to leave the CONSTANT hyperarousal (Insomnia Insight

Рет қаралды 4,031

Күн бұрын

In this edition of Insomnia Insight, Coach Daniel addresses constant hyperarousal-a state of heightened alertness that can keep us awake.
Understand why this happens and what to do, and you can find your way back to peaceful slumber.
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Would you like your copy of our FREE 'Off-to-Dreamland' kickoff booklet?
If you said "Duh" then simply head over to www.thesleepcoachschool.com and click the link at the tippy top.
Happy reading!
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Would you like to work with one of our certified sleep coach? Awesome! Here are some great options:
- The Insomnia Immunity Group Coaching Program.
- BedTyme, a sleep coaching app for iOS and Android offering 1:1 text based coaching.
- Zoom based 1:1 coaching with Coach Michelle or Coach Daniel.
The Insomnia Immunity program is perfect if you like learning through video and want to join a group on your journey towards sleeping well.
BedTyme is ideal if you like to learn via text and have a sleep coach in your pocket.
The 1:1 Zoom based program is for you if you like to connect one on one with someone who has been where you are now.
Find out more about these programs here:
www.thesleepcoachschool.com/
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Do you like learning by reading? If so, here are two books that offer breakthroughs!
Tales of Courage by Daniel Erichsen
www.amazon.com/Tales-Courage-...
Set it & Forget it by Daniel Erichsen
www.amazon.com/Set-Forget-rea...
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Would you like to become a Sleep Hero by supporting the Natto movement on Patreon? If so, that’s incredibly nice of you 😊. And here’s the link to do just that:
/ thesleepcoachschool
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Not sure where to start on your path to sleeping well? Check out these playlists!
This is natto - the perfect place to start learning!
• This is Natto - Start ...
Success stories - if you need hope and inspiration, this is for you.
• Success stories
Insomnia insight - a list of every single episode.
• Playlist
Talking insomnia - guests with trouble sleeping or experts share their stories / tips.
• Talking insomnia
Hypnic jerks, hypnic awareness and other common issues.
• Hypnic jerks and more.
Fatal insomnia - for those concerned about ffi and sfi.
• Familial and sporadic ...
Speed bumps - when you think you had a setback or “relapse.”
• Talking insomnia #55: ...
Unrefreshing sleep - when you always feel tired or exhausted.
• Unrefreshing sleep
Momsomnia - if you’re a mom or becoming a mom.
• Momsomnia
Heard online - when you’ve worried about claims made about health problems and insomnia.
• Heard online
Best!
This content does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or other qualified healthcare providers.

Пікірлер: 75

@user-go7dj3jz7j Ай бұрын

What really helped me was validating my fear - that normalized it for me. When I become fearful about not sleeping, I remind myself that it is very normal as my brain remembers it as an unpleasant experience and doesn't want it to happen again. For me, I think I had developed a very strong habit of worrying my entire life. It was a way of trying to keep myself safe and prepared. Worrying, unfortunately, doesn't really help insomnia, but I think on some level I really believed that worrying would keep me safe....that's why I think it's been so difficult to let go of my fear of insomnia. Again, on some rather immature level, I think the fear is that if I let go of the fear, I would lose my ability to sleep. But the good news is we can't lose our ability to sleep any more than we can force sleep. I think insomnia is the result of some deep wounds - or at least it has been for me. I think now that maybe insomnia is an invitation to trust and know that everything will be ok. Idk if all that makes sense - just how it's been for me and wanted to share in case it helps someone else.❤

@straightflush6095 Ай бұрын

But how to deal with the brutal, painful emotions at daytime? The anxiety, the racing heart, the sweating, the depression and deep sadness. That's what's hard for me.

@user-go7dj3jz7j Ай бұрын

I suppose it's different for everyone, but I know for me, I feel better when I allow myself to feel the fear, and then I can see that it's not harmful. I know that it's hard. Be kind and patient with yourself and know that you're not alone. Much peace and comfort to you!❤

@ianquigley5070 9 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing your thoughts/experiences. I found it really helpful and it very much mirrors the path I'm on. Not always easy, but feels the way to make progress on my own journey towards peace

@user-uy1hd7ng7r 4 күн бұрын

But what if the fear is feeling so awful and not being able to function and in practice that’s the reality of how it feels, so it’s hard not to worry about the fear. Because CBT tells you it’s not that bad when in reality a night of no sleep across a few nights really is.

@hrtalktest5543 Ай бұрын

I started with insomnia over a year ago. Coach Daniel has helped me so much, and I've really come a long way. Sometimes I think I'm close to leaving insomnia behind forever. I recently came off a 10-week stretch of pretty much pre-insomnia sleep, but the past two weeks have been choppy, some some good nights and some lousy ones. I very rarely feel sleepy at night when it's close to bedtime, even during stretches of good sleep. I have proven I don't need to feel super-tired or sleepy in order to sleep, but not feeling this way leads to some stress and anxiousness and that leads to a difficult night. It's hard to tell if I'm just not sleepy, or if the hyperarousal masks the sleepiness ... kind of a chicken or the egg situation.

@bobGmitter Ай бұрын

Allow anxiety. What you resist will persist.

@sumantsingh3981 Ай бұрын

When i was suffering from insomnia the most two years back , this is the channel i aways rushed to reduce my anxiety. I always get most of my answers listening to interviews daniel does. I am so glad and grateful to daniel for everything he is putting out . Such a great guy. And anyone reading this who is struggling from insomnia , the best thing i did and you can too is to stop giving any importance to sleep , take away the power from it . Doesnt matter how many hours of sleep you get , just power through every time and over time you will never think about it and will get back on track and listening to rain sounds while trying to sleep also helped a lot . Cheers guys everybody gonna get back to the sleep they always wanted .

@sharang747 Ай бұрын

When you teach people being awake is safe your also working on their deeper autonomic nervous system around being calmer by befriending the anxiety. It helps us be in our body and not disassociate by overriding our impulses. Not panicking rather being with it

@khole15 Ай бұрын

Well, thats very helpful for people with anxiety. But what about those with chronic insomnia that doesnt have any anxiety????

@danh2310 Ай бұрын

There's so many barriers to knock down when overcoming insomnia. Even when you've beat the thoughts that make you struggle and you remain calm and stick to positive routines. Still seem to have bad nights.

@Rosa2O6 Ай бұрын

Needed this today Daniel! My nervous system instantly relaxes when I see a new video of yours. And this one specifically was a great reminder of how to approach other struggles with the lessons we learn from insomnia. Thank you!

@sharang747 Ай бұрын

Daniel you may also benefit from looking at nervous system dis regulation. It’s more than just fear of fear it’s now an adrenalised system that runs on cortisol and bouts of unexpected cortisol in the body coming out at random times. So meditation does not work for everyone some people need to run and punch a bad boxing to help the system calm back down. Fight flight and freeze is at the bottom to move up the ladder you need to go through fight and flight.

@rockethq2073 Ай бұрын

Daniel, I just want to thank you so much for your books and videos. I’ve been having a rough time with hypnic jerks/awareness and insomnia. Back in April I went 9 days with no sleep at all! Finding your KZfaq channel and buying and reading Set it and Forget it and This is Natto, and working with the information and teachings you provide has been my saving grace. I’m still on the journey but little by little my anxiety, hypnic jerks and insomnia are improving! I am currently in the Yo-yo stage of good night and bad nights but improving all the time - thanks to you! I have learned so much and feel so much more positive, empowered and accepting of my situation. And as a result it’s getting better! You are doing great work. Thank you SO much. ❤

@thesleepcoachschool8192 Ай бұрын

So so glad to read these lines 😊🙏!!

@IQscan51 Ай бұрын

I feel your pain. I often go 3 to 5 days with no sleep at all. And the only reason it doesn't go longer is because I give in and take a sleeping pill.

@bobGmitter Ай бұрын

This is my problem, thank you so much.

@bunnyvolg4751 Ай бұрын

Thanks Daniel! Keep up the good work

@srryan1 Ай бұрын

I get these jerks that keep me from falling asleep, does anyone else's get these jerks

@elainep.204 Ай бұрын

I needed this so so much today! I had a light bulb moment watching this video that this is exactly my struggle. Last night I kept waking up the first 90 minutes or so (I didn't check the time but I'm guessing that's how long it was). I was tempted to take a sleeping pill but thot nah ill just keep resting, being okay with being awake. I had some anxiety but i reminded myself that its okay to be resting and not sleeping. And I fell into a deep sleep. I'm super tired today but also anxious. I was confused why, because I hadn't struggled much with being awake last night. But I now understand... I'm still in this fear of fear place. As soon as I realized this, some of the pressure I felt lifted!

@thesleepcoachschool8192 Ай бұрын

So wonderful reading these lines 😊! Thanks for sharing 🙏🙏

@maxiscece Ай бұрын

Finally 🎉

@svetlana9406 Ай бұрын

Daniel,it would be super if your books could be translated in russian language! So many people need this precious information that you give.I suffer from insomnia already 6 years,but tour videos help me to motivate myself and to believe that im stronger that my fear...Im happy,that i speak English) there is no content similar to your's on KZfaq.Thank you so much!

@thesleepcoachschool8192 Ай бұрын

So glad you found your way here Svetlana, and you know, if you or anyone you know would like to buy the rights and translate them, that would be amazing. There’s sooo much to do and I just can’t do it myself. But one day we will get to all done 😊

@Nehakaur2000 Ай бұрын

I guess the most difficult thing I am finding about Daniels' teachings is to stop expecting sleep. It feels heartbreaking for me to accept that this is my reality - as sleep is something I loved and used to come so effortlessly to me, I used to sleep like a baby every night. I know the more I crave , want and hope for sleep - the more it eludes me. I average 3 or 4 hours every night and then my body will crash for one night and then the vicious cycle starts up again. When I do get the odd night of where I sleep more than 5 hours, my brain automatically starts asking me "Will we sleep again tonight?" or then my brain automatically starts expecting sleep the following night, and I notice it starts monitoring my sleep subconsciously - when I try to close my eyes at night, my brain automatically starts questioning "are we asleep yet?". What do I tell my brain when it starts expecting sleep again?

@Nehakaur2000 Ай бұрын

It feels heartbreaking to just say to my brain "Yes, we may have had a good night yesterday, but you can't expect to sleep more than 6 hours again"... Normal sleepers expect that they will sleep every night, and low and behold they are able to knock out in minutes and fall asleep. So it seems so unfair that I have to tell my brain and mentally prepare for another wakeful night of suffering and being so tired but still not asleep. Will I not recover from insomnia if I keep continuing to hope that my sleep will return to normal soon?

@guppy1776 Ай бұрын

I relate a lot to the heartbreaking feeling, and the automatic expecting and monitoring is difficult for me as well but something that has helped me is basically making a "deal" with myself that I accept and let go of sleep in the short term to get it back in the long term. I think our brains hear something like "stop expecting sleep" and its reaction is, "what?! you want me to just be okay with having insomnia FOREVER?!" but that isn't what it means. "Stop expecting sleep" to me means accepting that right now, I'm in a struggle. Tonight, I might not sleep well, and I accept it and I will make the most of it, because I trust that I am seeding the ground for greater peace of mind in the future if I can help my brain to relax and let go.

@Nehakaur2000 Ай бұрын

@@guppy1776 wow that’s true thank you🥺, I was wondering tho if I hope to recover from insomnia does this mean I won’t recover ? Since when I hope to get a good nights sleep - I’m unable to sleep because the more I want it. Is this the same for recovery ?

@mich_cadx Ай бұрын

A big misconception about acceptance is that it means "I have to enjoy this." or "or I have to be OK with this forever." So I also naturally found acceptance hard to embody. What I found helped me is starting off by asking myself can I "tolerate" insomnia/wakefulness this very night. Not forever. Just right now. Also "tolerating" it felt easier to access for me than "accepting". Cuz toleranting meant I'm allowed to be unhappy about this, but I also have to deal with its presence. So I'm not happy, but I'm just going to let it be here with me. Iguess I can do that. That small shift allowed me to move towards acceptance more naturally overtime.

@pattychristison4121 4 күн бұрын

Yes, sit with fear-don’t run from it- identify the thoughts behind the fear then show your brain what is true…..what is a more beneficial thought to dwell on.

@Kayla-yv7wc 6 күн бұрын

Does anyone know if Daniel has a video on waking up shortly after falling asleep?? Say 30-90 minutes after falling asleep?

@conniekauffman4538 Ай бұрын

After finding your channel in January, I have done the education (on my own) and still don't know where I am in the recovery process. I don't see any improvement other than my mind has changed to NATTO and befriending wakefulness. It seems like I can't stay awake forever and someday I should fall asleep, but I am still not seeing that happen.

@coca824 Ай бұрын

i know this content is the right way to treat insomnia. but i am someone like you who still can't leave the fear of sleep behind.

@unika23 Ай бұрын

How can I stop being afraid of not sleeping, when clearly I will feel awful/have to skip work if I don't sleep? It's a vicious cycle, but the fact that there will be awful consequences is real. I can't pretent I don't care and don't mind :(

@murphs7146 Ай бұрын

I have this exact same problem. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself it doesn’t matter if I don’t sleep I KNOW it does

@unika23 Ай бұрын

@@murphs7146 exactly!!

@thesleepcoachschool8192 Ай бұрын

Thanks for your comment!! Just a quick heads-up: we're hosting live Q&A sessions most weeks and we'd love for you to join us! It's a great chance to ask questions, share insights, and connect with others in the community.

@elinamakeva2270 9 күн бұрын

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 When is the next q&a session??? Would really like to ask a few questions..

@thesleepcoachschool8192 9 күн бұрын

@elinamakeva2270 hi! Usually on Wednesdays but they are different times. Turn on notifications 🔔 so you don’t miss it. Oh and we have one in 20 minutes on instagram! 9 am pacific time

@crystalcristina6025 Ай бұрын

❤

@ilyasssbai4081 Ай бұрын

Hello daniel , thank you very much for this wonderful channel. I have a weird fear that latched in my brain , is that insomnia has affected my beard growth or does it affect it in some way. Thank you very much , you changed my whole approach to sleep.

@thesleepcoachschool8192 Ай бұрын

@kimberlymorgan4123 Ай бұрын

Hi Daniel, can you please tell me how am I supposed to eat or doing anything enjoyable while feeling fear when fear is an emotion that can strip anything enjoyable away from you? I understand sitting with fear for as long as you can to train the brain there’s nothing to fear, but the emotions sometimes get so intense that all you want is a moment of relief.

@hotpancakes9814 Ай бұрын

Hello, I just bought “Set it and Forget It” and saw your comment on another video where you say you changed your views on some things a bit since you wrote it - specifically something to do with a sleep window. Were there any other things in the book that you may have changed your perspective on? Thanks!

@thesleepcoachschool8192 Ай бұрын

Hi! Yes - the 17 hour rule chapter, I didn’t emphasize enough there that sleep drive does NOT matter at all. Yes, we can have some wakefulness until later if we sleep later, but that doesn’t matter when we aren’t afraid of being awake. Thanks for getting it!

@michaelcohen7088 20 күн бұрын

I am not sure how you can say you will realise being awake is not so bad and the fear of it will subside by itself if not for fearing fear itself. 1 sleepless night you still feel ok,2nd feeling worse, 3 or 4 in a row ,barely able to go to work, weakness in the chest and limbs even heart.The fear just rises and rises as the fear and terror of having to give up your job and maybe dying ..

@RolandDegania Ай бұрын

Just a question Daniel, I’ve been doing a little better not having zero sleep nights. However I feel like I’m in a pendulum where I will get a few nights of anywhere 5-7 hours of sleep and the next 1 or 2 nights of 2-3 hours. I feel like a zombie. Plus Im dating someone new so I feel pressure to resolve this as fast as possible and feel normal. Any tips for proceeding from here? I find it hard not to analyze. Last week I got 7 hours one night and felt almost like myself again. I feel like this last month has opened Pandora’s box and I’ll never stop thinking about sleep

@hugotielen Ай бұрын

Did you do something with the lighting in your room? It just looks so good and well balanced now 😊

@thesleepcoachschool8192 Ай бұрын

Hi Hugo - I started using my iPhone to record, it works really well 😊!

@hugotielen Ай бұрын

Using your Iphone? That sounds like a downgrade but apparently it's not 😊

@thesleepcoachschool8192 Ай бұрын

@hugotielen I know right? But those cameras in our phones are getting so good!

@frederikneuchsveramarrero9647 Ай бұрын

Im finding my self in a situation where I have years of experience with insomnia, and at the moment I have my biggest episode (5 months and counting) and actually I’m very chill about it and have accepted it as a part of my. But still it’s like my body reacts to going to bed and I lie half awake for hours, even if I don’t care about not sleeping, it’s like I just can’t hit the deeper sleep… Any recommendations?

@Jordan_Benzos_Peterson Ай бұрын

Hi daniel, I just got set it and forget it and it's the first time I'm reading a book on insomnia that actually makes sense and doesnt trigger more anxiety for me. I was wondering though what your thoughts are on what role an ssri can play in helping reduce the "breaks". I had GAD and OCD my entire life only recently saw a dr for it and just started an ssri. I feel like if i can get help with my anxiety from the ssri that will only assist me in the forget it part. What do you think?

@thesleepcoachschool8192 Ай бұрын

So glad you got it and it makes sense. Our view is that medication isn’t what matters when it comes to anxiety or OCD because they can’t change our thoughts, but whatever we do as an act of self care and kindness can be really helpful 😊

@Jana-cm4dw Ай бұрын

I have insomnia now for one year, it started 4 weeks before giving birth to my baby. It was such a traumatic and fearful experience. It started with 3 sleepless nights and then sleeping like 2 hours most nights, at good nights 4 hours. I found your channel about 7 month ago. But I am still in the pendulum mode, sleeping two nights 6-7 hours and then again one or two nights 2-3 hours. Napping is impossible. I enjoy and live my life as good as possible, try to go back to normal. But my brain feels still so weird, for example when I go for a walk oder do something outside my home, i feel like i drunk to much alcohol. Is this normal? Can the brain really heal from this?? Any tips? Just set it and forget and go on with my life? And dont focus on the bad feelings/fatique? I feel like the worst case in the world🙈 Anybody out there who had the same expierence? Thank you Daniel for your videos, it helped me so much ☀️

@user-alicel9nf4e Ай бұрын

Im sorry dr daniel, Why even when we feel sleepy at night , the stress and fear of not sleeping dosent let us to sleep . How can we reduce this stress and anxiety? The stress dosent come in day or noon , it comes at the end of the night , about 12 hour at night.exactly the time that sleep comes and youre so tired.

@TW-fn4lr Ай бұрын

What if a thought of upcoming long drive in a few days already creates the constant hyperarousal? The thought that I may not sleep a wink the night before consumes my mind all day. I’m ok with being tired when I’m around home but driving for a few hours scares me.

@thesleepcoachschool8192 Ай бұрын

It’s really always thoughts that create hyperarousal… but it’s when we think of the hyperarousal as something that we want to get away from, that’s when it can be constant because it now becomes a loop. So the hyperarousal is also what we need, because it’s when we are willing to experience it that we teach ourselves that it’s safe to experience, and then the looping fades away. Easy to say I know, but - I believe this is how we leave the struggle.. rooting for you

@TW-fn4lr Ай бұрын

Thank you. It all makes sense and actually helps me in any other circumstance but I can’t find peace thinking that driving with no sleep is safe, because it’s not. Trying to stay positive though 🙏🏻

@hangafekete694 Ай бұрын

Hi! Can I ask a question? I'm very afraid that I won't be able to get pregnant if I have this insomnia going on. Because of high cortisol levels and so on...what are your thoughts about it? Thank you very much!

@thesleepcoachschool8192 Ай бұрын

This is a common worry that hasn’t kept many in our community alone from getting pregnant 🙂 Checking our momsomnia playlist can help, there you have real life examples.

@deelicious1610 Ай бұрын

I respectfully disagree that fear of not sleeping is driving my insomnia. It is due to CFS and hyperarousal. I am working on calming the ANS to sleep again. I spend my nights laughing with great clips on KZfaq. So when will I sleep again? No clue.

@thesleepcoachschool8192 Ай бұрын

Appreciate the input very much, always learning and trying to understand more 🙏

@ruzabeztrna5883 3 күн бұрын

Maybe you don't have fear anymore but even now you're expecting and waiting when your sleep well be fine. In my opinion that will happen (I'm still in fearful state so it's long run) when you stop expecting sleep

@ruzabeztrna5883 3 күн бұрын

For example- if I take my sleeping pills and don't think about it I usually sleep but if I start questioning it they will help and expecting that to happen I won't sleep. IMO, fear of sleep is first phase, expectation (OK, I'm not afraid anymore so where is my sleep?) is a second phase...and we have to go above all of that

@kakashinaruto857 Ай бұрын

Hi Daniel I want to ask a question- is insomnia an illness?

@thesleepcoachschool8192 Ай бұрын

Hi, we don’t see it this way. We see it as a struggle that follows a misunderstanding in our safety minded brain that non sleeping is a threat. We see it as an invitation to learn about ourselves in a way that truly can help in waaaay more areas of life than sleep. So glad you’re here 🙂

@kakashinaruto857 23 күн бұрын

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 hi Daniel your videos changed my life I gained so much knowledge and confidence thank you very very much 🙏

@thesleepcoachschool8192 23 күн бұрын

@kakashinaruto857 so so so wonderful to read these lines 😊!!

@joannerowell4410 Ай бұрын

How attitudes have changed. 32 years ago I had a nervous breakdown with insomnia as the main component. I saw a psychiatrist and told him I had fear of fear. He looked at me as if I had two heads, no concept of what I meant.

@coca824 Ай бұрын

😂😂 👍 yes, so true! and a lot of people look still at you like you're an alien when you tell them that you're afraid to sleep. they just don't get it.