I had to pretend to cry at my father’s funeral. Not that I wasn’t feeling sad (I was devastated), but I found myself conflicted by the absurdity of the social situation where, as his son, it was expected of me to shed tears. I eventually cried my heart out on my own terms once I had the chance to process my feelings in the solace of my own privacy and introspection.

When I was teenager I wrote a lot about "being present, observing, but not really participating in my own life". I disregarded and analyzed the behavior from the people I was around. But as I grown up, I teach myself to try to "see" people. To understand them. Still, my default setting is detachment. I just happened to mature my Fe to communicate better and put effort with the ones I actually care about.

You can really learn a lot from an INTP's logical nature and tendancy to be detached. I have a pal of this type, and she helps me to analyse things from a logical standpoint, without my emotions or empathy completely taking over.

Nathan certainly knows his INTP audience. What could we possibly like more than a freshly analysed synthesis of previous analyses? I appreciate this video on many levels (of detachment - and attachment).

“Man this would be funny if it happened to someone else no wonder they’re laughing.”

They exist in the audience of their own lives as well as being participants. Very Profound insight. I have always felt like an observer of my own life.

as an Intp with high Ne, detachment is one of my favorite things. I would often try to narrate my own life, or when I felt like challenging myself try to narrate any situation through the eyes and mind of my peers

INTP here. I found out several days ago that I might need surgery, and it could have devastating consequences to my reproductive health. After shock, research, crying, prayer, and talking to people, I started thinking that it would be a valuable experience. I work in direct patient care, and if I have surgery, I would gain a lot more knowledge about what my patients will or have gone through.

This was very interesting, and I agree with you. There was a thread on Reddit about INTP mottos, and one was; "It is what it is". I did not write that post, but I do actually say it quite often. I also don't care what people do, as long as they are all consenting adults and preferably not harming themselves or others. Sometimes my detachment does bother me when I feel like I don't care about very much. And like you mentioned, I do often feel like I am on the outside looking in. I often joke I am an alien to my family, but not connecting with people can be frustrating sometimes.

That observation is spot on. It reminds me of an Alan Watts Quote: “You are an aperture through which the universe is looking at and exploring itself.” - Alan Watts

When my ex got into a horrific accident his INTP father and I sat outside in the hospital waiting room cracking lots of jokes so we could both stay chill and calm. Being able to make each other laugh in a very tense moment was a really great moment of connection. I dearly miss them both but mostly his father for always being amazing to talk to; he still stops me in the supermarket to engage in a conversation.

Very well described! Watching my own show. I got into a philosophical debate with a colleague today and explained him exactly this phenomenon. The ability of predicting of what’s coming in the present to the point where you feel you lived it already. The second I see my prediction is accurate I detach to the future and see what’s on TV tomorrow or next week or whenever. Very useful to stay ahead of anyone else, but it is very hard to be in the moment. This explains my drive for novel experiences, adventure and discovering new places. To force myself living in the present.

Once again a great video. We'd need more INTP's in politics because they are probably the very people who are least interested in their own advantage compared to what would be good for all of humanity.

I used to feel bad for cutting people off for the train wreck I could see coming. I was made to feel bad for acting on abstract scenarios. I spent 20yrs being right and the same people took and drained me to dust. The experiment was painful but worthwhile. I am now rebuilding my life, cut off 90% of my relationships. I shall only have acquaintances for the rest of my days and I owe nobody nothing.. Peace is paramount. Amen

Insightful video. This is absolutely a gift of the Intp but it also comes at great cost. If anyone can look at multiple lenses without biases it’s likely to be an Intp. The problem with that however is being viewed as the outsider which is isolating. It’s a good thing many Intps appear to be equipped to handle being an outsider. Thanks for sharing Nathan.

This. I'm living my entire life with a Bird's eye view (or the Third Person view, as I like to call it). I am like a self-referenced variable, or the audience in my own show, as you said. This is also why I can never tell when I'm dreaming, because frankly speaking things aren't much different when I'm awake either. People are usually unable to understand or visualize this.

thank you so much for this, no one could've described me better

You scared me with this revelation, I have a lot to think about how I think now

As an INFJ. Meeting an INTP was a very development of my TI but frustrating my FE. It was so nice talking about intellectual and razonable subjects but when it cames to talk about feelings was an headache...but detachment was one of my most important learnings. 😊

When everyone is horrified by something and you are the only one still watching it, trying to understand it, because "why not"?

Oh that really reminds me of a motorcycle accident I had years ago. It was a rainy day, my tires were worn out and people in front of me decided to step on the brakes like madmen. So, I slipped with my motorcycle and slammed into the car in front of me. Now I was in pain, not excruciating and I was not in mortal danger (looking at it in retrospect...) but still. And yet as I lay there in the grass being recommended not to stand up ofc, I hear people start regulating traffic, someone call an ambulance. They arrive with the sirens on and out come the medics with the gurney, strap me in, load me in and drive me to the hospital. There getting to experience morphine for the first time in my life, that stuff is amazing. Then got out of the ambulance, quickly riding into room after room. People asking me question after question. being carried everywhere, to end up in a hospital bed. Luckily I only had a little crack in one of my vertebreas that healed quickly and I could leave the next day. The whole ordeal is something I've only seen in movies, and most of the time not even from the POV of the victim. But not I got to experience this situation firsthand. And it was deeply interesting. Through the pain starting to think about the medical system and how smooth it can operate, how the body and its functions work. Detaching myself from the situation (granted, with a little help of painkillers...) and almost.... enjoying it.

I feel like this is exactly what I was thinking about in the past days. In the past month a thief nearly broke into our flat (I live on the second floor), but luckily I somehow stopped him verbally. Even though I was shocked and kinda terrified afterwards, I couldn't help but laugh at how absurd the situation is, and how I can say this story to all my friends. I'm many times confronted about the fact that I find terrifying experiences (which aren't exactly life threatening) funny. Now I know that it's probably because of my ability to detach from the present and think about how it will be funny in the future, which makes me laugh.

It allows us to remain calm and rational in times of crisis.

You know, that 'detachment' makes me loose many things (especially focus), and somehow there's like 3 person in my head (I called them the redditor, the analyst, and the traumatized emotions)... it's annoying, especially since my mouth can't keep up with my thoughts...

A very well done video and analysis of INTP inner workings.

This is so interesting, thank you for putting into words what I feel and have a hard time trying to explain lol Besides being an INTP, I also have Borderline Personality Disorder and I've been dealing with depersonalization/derealization my entire life. Since I can remember, as a small kid, I've always felt detached from reality, like everything is a movie and I'm just a spectator that sometimes also interacts, like you said. I have never felt "grounded" and "present"... I don't even know what that means, since I've never experienced that, because apparently everyone else experiences life differently... and neither therapy nor medications can make me feel that way lol. I'm don't "struggle" with, because like I said, this is how I've always experienced life, so it's kinda normal to me... But anyways, I just wonder sometimes where does the BPD detachment end and where does the INTP detachment start? If I was only one of them and instead of both, would I still experience such heavy sense of detachment? Or was I blessed with a double dose of detachment from both? 😂 AND, to add more fuel to the fire, I'm also am Aquarius, the most detached in all senses from the zodiac lol AND I'm Enneagram 5w6 😂 Detachment much??? I don't even feel like I'm f*cking real, I feel like I live in a simulation lol I know not everyone believes in Zodiac, but just like the Myers Briggs and Enneagram, I think it's a fun tool to find out more about myself. I don't live by any of them or judge anybody based solely on any of those things, because obviously none of them define character, but 10 times out of 10, I can relate to everything that is being said about INTP, Aquarius or Enneagram 5. 😂

It is rather painful to be a spectator in your own life, while being knees deep in the action, knowing you cannot interfere too much. I hate being an INTP! It's awesome :)

Good start! Now, while detached, also engage with reality. Sincerely, ISTP.

I am really happy to have found your channel, as somewhat of an intp myself, it's really helpflul to hear another perspective that supports my point of view and that I relate to xD

As an INTP i can concur that detachment is a great tool to see the world in its own beauty and complexity. However, it has a side effect of creating a blind spot for yourself, thus you will not notice any social actions toward yourself, and will miss a lot of romantic and personal interest in you, or warnings about your behavior. Leading to similar scenes like was described when you are sitting wet, awkward and alone in the middle of restaurant. (Detachment would allow you to see humor in it, but not to avoid it).

The ability to find everything interesting is a trait that many will find useful in life, especially when one finds oneself in some sort of crossroad, or life changes that are beyond our control. The excitement of the possibility of new things and new learnings, even if that path is as per how the world sees is a downgrade to where we are at present, allows us to navigate life with hope. Even the problems and issues every human being goes through, mix that with the resources and people that we have plus our inherent personalities, is interesting in that they form the kind of person that we become.

I hate being like this when it comes to socialising, I want to be in the moment like everyone else 😅

As an INTJ, I strongly relate to it as well. And there is a pattern I have noticed during my short 20 years of live, and that is that most people only see these "gifts" of abstract/detached thinking or the thorough analysis (or obsession 😅) but don´t understand/realize that these things are like double bladed swords or a Coin with a different side, on this topic "negative". (They are trades with a downside that are quite hard to grasp for other people). Ps: I might be wrong with this due to the fact I haven´t studied it in a large amount that could be used to take a general claim on a such relative thing that depends on a lot of factors like most of human-psychology.

I don’t usually give the emotional response or reaction to sad, tragic, horrible situations. I do feel bad but it is the result of analyzing the situation. And I never comment (on youtube) with emotional outbursts or outrage (like the Nashville massacre). The analysis and looking for angles dominate my daily existence.

I was looking for that exact clip about a week ago and couldn't remember what video it was from. Thanks for bringing it to the surface. As an INTP, when I look at a situation, I go to possibilities, and then after thinking of a few, I ask myself "am I in control of this?". If the answer is yes, I take the best course of action. If the answer is no, then I just take a step back and observe, because I can't exert significant control over it, so I might as well take a look at what's going on.

This was a great video. Thanks!

As an INFP bat, I must say likewise, only upside down, backwards, and inside out.

I would say we INTJs can relate to this as well, to a certain extent, but my INTP brothers have these qualities much stronger. There's no Fi attachment -- at least not consciously, and in the moment -- even though it would often be beneficial. However, no matter how much you try to rationalise things, the unconscious will always catch up with you.

That felt very accurate to myself, always feeling like an observer even in my own life. Does that lend itself to enjoying living vicariously through other people's joyful experiences, be it in reality or novels? I find myself being a good mediator in situations simply because I'm able to detach and see the points of both sides. Anyway, nice job. There's pros and cons of this personality, but I personally enjoy it because it's nice not to be blindly swept away by emotion or circumstance.

"The only bad thing about being faster than light is that you always live in the dark" - Sanic.

it's a double edged sword though coz intps often experience disscociation bc of this

Detachment, also rings dissociation bells. I wonder if INTPs are more prone to dissociation and detachment after traumatic things have happened to them than other types? If you've had equests for videos about how the types might deal or respond to trauma, or videos about type mental health and mental illness, I strongly urge you to consider making one on such an interesting topic! A series, a series might be edifying too.... Dang it I might have to join your patreon sometime

Great description.

I'm transformed from ENTP to INTP and now thinking more clear and deeply. But, my social life has changed too: for me, people now are somewhat... indifferent. And it's great at some point

Interesting perspective. I can relate and never saw that as a gift. I do remember asking myself that question though. Multiple time.

This was interesting. Thanks.

Stuff about the nature documentary is absolutely relatable. When I was in, maybe fifth grade, we watched a nature video in the classroom. Some of the girls got really upset and asked why the cameraman didn’t stop the animals from hunting other animals and killing them. I was very unaffected. I knew that was their food and that even though we didn’t witness our own food slaughter that we killed to eat as well. I was the one of the only girls who wasn’t crying

So true, so true. It's a gift and a curse to be this damn observant and detached

Dude I was always second guessing if I was INTP or INFP and after this video I am very convince its the former. I'm always detaching myself from situations for any number of reasons it just feels natural and the best way to process things.

Excellent. ❤

Yes! In healthcare. This makes me effective but sometimes viewed as a brutal clinician. I get results but my peers think I am too direct

Couldn't phrase it any better ❤

The last sentence you said...very powerful...

just the title is gold. lol yesss learn from these ppl. take notes. :)))

I see what you describe strongly in my INTP son, although he can be very present when he’s in a hyper focus mode. I’ve also experienced this often with myself even in intensely physical experiences such as childbirth as an INTJ. My INFJ dad has a story from his childhood where he got quite scared in the night and his first thought was to check whether his hair was standing on end like he heard would happen. So I’d be interested to know what you think, Nathan, of the similarities and differences between our ways of being outside our bodily experiences with Ni versus Ne, or are they functioning in a similar role when considering the self?

I have mastered this "ability" to the highest degree. 🏆

All these while i thought i was weird lol. Very wise and true what you said

The virtue of Enneagram 5 (which most intps are) is detachment.

Ok mate, that last bit made me feel a bit empty for a few seconds

Fortunately 1 human here understands me 😊

Definitely me. Now I'm trying to learn how to detach me, myself, and I.

Dont know how many'll see this but what Nathan said about reality made me think back to a few days ago. I was possibly returning from a tuition and was kind of upset about something at my house so I was, well, dissociating almost. Like made my brain stop working. Anyways that didnt work and I ended up thinking about a roadkill- a dog i knew- i saw a few days prior and how many other animal deaths i've had and suddenly- i felt nothing. I felt calmed. It was like my brain spoke to me about how reality is really not fair, but it is fair at the same time because we all face unfairness. It was like i could look back at my sorrowful days from someone else's perspective. It was a bit strange.

Realized this at 37 after being gaslighted from all angles entire life. This shit is real. And absolutely amazing.

Vary good thanks

I’m curious to learn just how far down into the Introvert pool you tend to go as an INTP, Nathan. Reason being that I am INTP and severely introverted (almost to an unhealthy level), but I attenuated this severity over decades - I’ll be 54 this Saturday - through heavy guest contact work at hotels and restaurants (for better balance), but I don’t believe I could be comfortable with the level of attention that you attract due to your notoriety from your KZfaq channel, website, etc. I myself dislike becoming the center of attention within a group - especially very large groups or around random strangers - even when it’s positive. I think I would really have to LOVE whatever I was doing to the point I would be willing to tolerate the attention I get from it, like it being a life calling, that magnitude of engagement. I guess this is your calling in life. I partially envision you needing to huddle into a ball in whatever cozy, secluded safe space you have set aside for yourself with a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door so others know to not invade or interrupt your decompression bubble time, after doing a lot of work on these videos and posts with your team. And then agreeing to type other random people on top of this? I’d charge more than $200. 😁

More intj essays pls

All of my functions are inferior.

I may not always like sitting through Ti rambles but I can agree that I respect their ability to disassociate.

INTP here. Detachment and present at the same time. Being in the moment and almost out of body narrrator ish 'analyzing the situation' view of the event, at the same time. I always thought, everyone should be able to do that. Guess not. Cool and annoying at the same time.

Finally, my time has arrived. 'they live in the audience of their own lives', but hate it when others try to backseat drive.

I have a friend who both admires and kind of hates how I can "not feel" when I guess I'm supposed to freak out over stuff that gets to her...(easily imo) (lol) anyhow...yep that

Very interesting video. I am not an INTP but when you mentioned the starving wolf cubs and the situation becoming more complex, I thought to myself "That is simply the circle of life." Is that what the INTP detachment would be like? (asking, because I'd like to truly understand it)

I am INTP, but when I get drunk I am more extroverted than my most extroverted friends. Anyone else the same?😂

Wow. Just wow

This probably isn’t all that surprising but people-watching was one of my family’s favorite activities. Over the years we created our own little games for added entertainment. Several created by me. That I’ve taught my other friends with the ability to detach, along with many other types who find it fun. Especially if there’s more than one INTP, The situation is going to get really interesting very fast. Some were based off my mom’s significant hearing loss. She wasn’t taught ASL, rather to lip-read. The amount of times we’d be out at a restaurant when out of nowhere she’d announce, “On our 7, back booth, second in. “That is NOT his wife.” Which is one of the many times we enjoyed dinner & a show. When you’re hanging out with an INFP, it’s more than likely you too will enjoy the running, commentary. (That’s if you got us out of the house of course.)

I have a question...(open to all) ...ok which type(s) are more prone or better at being deceptive? And maybe how do you think the types act when caught in a lie.?

Beautifully said, Nate. The wolf analogy (which I've seen brought up a couple times before) is an excellent one. We (INTPs) go through much the same process all the time. It's not that we don't feel for the deer, or that we're not horrified by situation... but we also see the wolf's point of view, and we recognize that "hero" and "villain" aren't as cut and dry as a lot of people like to pretend. Everything is defined with a dependence on the presumption that one outcome or state of being is superior to another... and that in and of itself is biased. We feel pretty much the same things everyone else feels... but we're perpetually ambivalent, as we can't help but reflexively see the opposed perspective as well. The simple truth of "is" or "isn't" is much less complicated and free of emotional turmoil (most of the time).

Yes EVERYTHING is interesting. However, there are times when the Inferior FE interferes with the detachment.

I get drunk sometimes myself and just cry alone 😂. Had a bread down last year after I fell sleep during the day, and had a breakdown at the absurdity of life and that one day I’d be dead and gone for infinity… I still have a panic attack every night just before I fall asleep… it’s like my guards are down for a millisecond. I think that I died that day somehow. Weird as I love life, but everything’s absurd now. Everything’s a waste of time and futile..

Deja vu, I just had a false Deja vu.

Still waiting for the ENFJ MERCH!! Specifically mugs please and thank you

Ngl ... The price is real 💯 beware

Two weeks ago I was on a tour bus in Mexico when this outgoing German girl started talking to me and brought up the virtue of “stolen-land acknowledgements” in the US. I was actually interested in having a convo about it & didn’t think I was being rude, but she stopped talking to me after I replied that it seemed kind of silly to acknowledge the Indian tribe that last “owned” a strip of land when that tribe also just conquered the land from another previous tribe. The basic reality seems to me that “the true owner” of a land is simply the last to have conquered it & the one who is currently able to defend it… I was actually bummed that she got hurt and didn’t want to keep the discussion going … this sort of thing happens all the time where I don’t mean to offend, but just can’t resist pointing out funny ironies/hypocrisies/absurdaties (where I don’t consciously think deeply about it before I spit it out) I’ve also been told by multiple people that I have a tendency of making seemingly innocuous comments/jokes that don’t fully hit them (the subject & receiver) until later in the day - at which point they stop & wonder, “was that a deep personal insult?”… to which I have no good response, because i dunno. Probably subconsciously.. but I was just trying to be funny/ironic in the moment & make people laugh while acknowledging at least a partial truth… I hate hurting people though, so that’s never my goal. Just unfiltered/unprocessed jokes with accidental deeper meaning sometimes. I can take the brutal truths I tell myself, so I (wrongly) assume other people can take brutal truths as well - when in the broader context of a casual joke

3:25 This is why people freak out when I consider the implications and humanity of horrific historical events and/or suggest the notion maybe there is more to this than IT BAD.

Mood. I really envy people that can just live in the moment and enjoy themselves. Of course it's not all bad this way of thinking, it's good if balanced, but living like this all the time can take its toll. Try as you might to detach yourself while you're on the stage, you'll always be on that stage and affected by the play going on. It's easy to just let life go by with this mindset. Ironically, being detached at all times locks you out of one specific angle: experiencing what's happening as is. Can I call myself unbiased if I refuse to engage with the biased side of life? Humans are irrational creatures, after all. But even our irrationality has merit I think. actually I have no idea what I'm talking about anymore lol

Hey, Nathan I developed this skill which I called “outer the box view” when I was 12, it helps a lot. Easier to make a rational, and the best decision, detaching from unnecessary emotions and looking at things in a neutral way. But over a few months, I began to lose it. I can choose to use it, but no I didn't, as I’m comfortable in a 1st, 2nd POV, and a quick vague 3rd person POV (this vid). But now I’m gonna use it again thanks. The thing is I’m an INTJ, how is this info connected with everything else? Do tell, thanks

it is def striking bc it's God-like af

You’ve been coached on speech patterns. Quite a bit less enjoyable to listen to, but as always, excellent observations and analysis.

The only thing that sucks about this is having a feeler partner. Having the default mode be “but that’s not how reality works” combined with the lack of natural charm means u have to essentially learn how to human

Sometimes i pissed off by myself. Because, when the time i want to release emotion burst.. some part of me is still calm and choose to still and analyse it. its like i want to yell to him. "Why are you still calm! its time for exlode".. Thats confusing and frustating.. i event cant drunk when its normally must 😅

is it really a trait only belonging to intp? idk what type i am honestly i often switch between intp and intj

1:42 So 7th slot is worst?

Detached. No matter how I explain and break it down.. understanding lacks. The overall picture is lost. Frustrating mostly. My best friend is the future. When the future becomes the present the picture is found and they are in amazement. Yet, within a moment after visualizing the picture... all is lost again, so I shall wait in my head until the next picture comes into focus. 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♂️

can't have an anilytical mindstate when emotions are too involved

Alan Watts was probably an INTP

staind reference

👏👍

It is common for an INTP to misstype as an INTJ? I am fairly sure I am INTJ but detachment is probably the word that describes me best.

As an ISTP i use all those "...." aswell

I've had some very interesting conversations on morality, ethics, with my INTP teen. Watching Attack on Titan with them has been a real eye opener (mouth opener?) and at moments, I thought they were a bit ENTP like. Much debate has cropped up but I get the feeling, it's only for the lols and not something they're overly attached to. Although one thing we both vehemently agreed on almost straight away, was our mutual hatred for Eren lol.