Same for me, but with gender. I align with genderfluid the most, but I usually tell people I’m non-binary just bc it’s easier that way.

Same. I'm ace and non-binary (specifically demiguy) and I just don't feel like explaining that 15 times a day.

Same. I’m pansexual and use queer most of the time for the exact same reason.

@@waffles3629 - To be fair, I still haven’t figured out an acceptable answer to “How are you?” either. Because nobody wants to hear the real answer.

@@goatkiller666 yep, like how dare we honestly answer a question we were asked? I often reply "alive" and "not too bad".

The recent hate towards asexuality is a great example of this

@@starpril_or all those people who will make a huge fuss saying crap like: “why isn’t the term ‘non-binary’ good enough for you?” “Just use they/them why do you have to be special or different?” “all these neopronouns are actually very ableist” or even “ugh, what next people are going to start humoring those who are ‘plural’ or ‘other kin’. It’s making us look bad”. I really hate those people. Lots of people, significantly higher then Gen-Pop, that are those things are themselves disabled, or autistic. (Should be stated that one of the current explanations for why this disparity of disabled and autistic people being in these spaces is because those kinds of people are more willing to be honest with themselves, or less able to be dishonest with themselves.) I stand proud with other kin and those with dissociative identities.

@@starpril_ I could not agree more. As a biromantic asexual woman I've been called everything from monster to prude. I'm told that I'm not queer enough for the queer community and not straight enough to be part of the heteronormative community. I've been offered all kinds of treatments from pills to hypnosis to try to fix me. I've even sadly thought about ending it all in the past because nobody in my family, friends or even people I came to for help thought that asexuality was real. I will ALWAYS stand up for all members of the LGBTQIA+ community because I know how damning and hurtful it is to not have your identity acknowledgesd. A community divided cannot stand on its own.

@@starpril_recent?

​​@@starpril_and bdsm/leather pride, even though they founded the first pride, now theyre being pushed behind companies at pride.

Isn't there at least 1? Their preferred name? Otherwise, yes, I agree.

@@beepbopboop3221 and what do you do if you don't know their name?

@MainlyHuman when people meet they introduce themself. I give my name and they give theirs. If I meet them again and I have forgotten then I ask.

@@beepbopboop3221 which was really my point in the first place. It's pretty much always going to be best to just ask someone what you should call them rather than trying to come up with some catch-all term based on your assumptions.

This man knows how to ally!

It makes me think of those ugly Vera Bradley bags.

Yup its not an issue for me but my dyslexia dose this to other things so I know where your coming at it from

Quiltbags are awesome. They are a thing made of many things used to lift up all the things.

Omg I love it

I've just commented similar

omg yes! I would definitely wear that scent

It sounds like a LGBTQIA+ book shop.

Lavender and fresh books, the best smell.

@@neoqwerty hear me out: old books

​@@BlindZubatWe have a queer owned and run cafe in my city called "The Glitter Bean Cafe" and I feel like it would be perfect to have an attached bookshop called Lavender Linguistics.

Not sure we count as a "little" corner since there are enough of us to take over Denmark lol

@@genera1013 Comparatively little, then.

I really like that!

Rainbow community is one of the terms we use in NZ too.

I really like Rainbow Community. I struggle so much to say or even write L...G...B...T...Q...A...I...+. I have to stop and sound out each letter bc it does not at all roll off the tongue and an 8 syllable word is hell when you have speech or cognitive issues. That's why I usually default to "queer" bc I can both say it and spell it with ease. But Rainbow Community doesn't have a negative history, so that's my new one. 👍

Regenbogen Gemeinde. I love that. I am learning German and that is my new favorite. Your mother sounds wonderful by the way.

I'm a lesbian, and I also use the term "rainbow community" or "rainbow family". I sometimes also trip over all these letters. "Rainbow community" sounds so much more alive and fun!

Also realized I’m on the ace spectrum when I was 40 (demisexual). Also always thought there was something wrong with me. This kind of content has been so helpful

Hi! Some videos that helped me learn a lot about sex, desire, intimacy, etc. was Hannah Witton's one's about spontaneous vs reciprocative arousal and how attraction, desire, and arousal interact to create all types of asexual and allosexual people. It made me realize that the way I feel (or don't feel) desire/arousal/attraction was completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of. I'd highly recommend them!

Welcome to the Ace community!

Ayyy, cheers! I realized I'm asexual a couple years ago at 34. I felt broken until then and worried that I was "incapable of true love", and it was such a relief to find that there are others like me and that we are not broken at all. I'm still doing some pondering and "coming to terms" with some aspects within that ace-spec identity, but I am so much more comfortable with myself. I wish the same for you!

We could be twins! I'm also aro ace and have only in the last few years come to realize the term exists and it represents me.

I'm choosing to think of it as closer to "wonky" just because "crooked" has negative connotations.

omg same in arabic?? like exactly??

@@Draggonny This is because in a totally different context, 'straight' means 'honest' as in 'straight-arrowed', 'straight shooter', like...someone who doesn't talk around things, or change direction, or have an 'angle', etc. So 'crooked' as the opposite of 'straight' in THAT context came to mean dishonest. But we recognise that the same word can mean different things in different contexts all the time. It's just when those words acquired those meanings in living memory that things are funny. We all think of the language we're used to as eternal and immutable. But it's not. It's constantly in flux. NB I'm not saying you can't feel however you do about the word 'crooked' and I absolutely agree that 'wonky' is superior anyway. But even 'wonky' has negative connotations, because it refers to something that is off-kilter, crooked, asymmetrical, not quite right, etc. I think we probably need to embrace the concept and the word simultaneously? Maybe? I don't know.

An old slur for queer people was to call us "bent" or "benders" in opposite to "straight". That one hasn't been reclaimed, unlike queer.

I wonder if that's at all related to the English word "skeevy" which describes an off-putting or unsettling vibe, usually in the context of a person. In English, you can also describe a dishonest person as "crooked". In other words, you could call the same types of people as both "crooked" and "skeevy". Similar root words, maybe? Interestingly enough, the word "queer" can sometimes be used in a similar way to the word "skeevy" to mean that something felt off in a way that creeped you out.

I have a friend (US) who is doing exactly that! We need more spaces without alcohol

Asking on behalf of the rest of the ace community: will there be cake? That's important. Very important!

@@morinomajou and pie. Lots of pies

You’re giving away the master plan….

Same, but I found out I was bi 😂

Same. I'm figuring I'm NB and probably agender.

So... to stay straight I have to be homophobic?

Same! Realized I was ace, then slowly realized that I was bisexual and demiromantic!

Omg same I was an ally and then a year ago I found out that I'm an agender demigirl and a biromantic asexual (and btw my pronouns are she/they)💕💕

I have heard this but not much by my generation. Its so sweet, I wish we could bring this back

@@idobelieveinfaeries Yeah, when I came out in the 90’s, most of our friends were older, gay guys. They are the ones that introduced me to using “family” that way. There was more fear about being identified in public, but you wanted to be able to tell each other who was safe without being obvious about it. And if anyone overhead you, they just figured you were related to that person. 😀

That's how my new coworkers introduced me to other queer workers. "She's family" was a safe code in front of patients and unsafe coworkers. ❤

@@kaseydexter9736 nice!

In my country, people sometimes say "team". It's not super inclusive: usually, it's used as "he plays for his own team" (gay) or "he scores a goal in his own gates" (the same). Sometimes, people say "plays for both teams" (bi).

It's my favourite piece of queer history because it encompasses so many of the larger themes of the historical (Western) queer experience. Bigotry and suffering but also solidarity, compassion, and individual people fighting lonely battles to help others. And yeah, I get teary every time I think of it.

I just assumed it was easier to say it that way rather than the "gee" slurring with the "ell" if saying GLBT quickly

The word queer only ever reminds me of Jack Skellington saying "How queer!" in one of the Nightmare before Christmas songs. They use it in a similar way but then positive, if you know what I mean

@@Roanmonster Don't tell one of my friends this but...I still have never seen that movie.

F*g used to mean bundle of sticks

@@Imbatmn57 Yup a bundle of sticks generally used for fire wood, still does in the UK or a brand of Meat balls made by a company called Brains amongst others.

@@Imbatmn57 Correct. In some places it is also used as another way of saying cigarette. My comment in no way dismisses the fact queer is used as a slur against our community. It just is meant to explain why my brain does not connect that word with the community. Because it connects it to being strange or odd.

Oh bless you, I'm so sorry your sister had to live like that. There but for the grace of god would I have been. 🤗

OMG same! I thought it was just me lol

It made me think of those insults as well! The main one on my mind though was the archaic insult of carpetbagger.

Yeah, but I like the idea of calling ourselves the Quilt Gang.

Yup, even as a quilter the term quiltbag didn't bring positive associations.

I use biro-ace. Fairly easy to roll off the tongue without having to smush things together. I love Gayce though, it's perfect.

As someone whose panromantic and on the ace spectrum, I think pance is very funny, if a bit unfortunate 😂 I love gayce though!

As a panromantic asexual, it's a struggle.

Gayce is great! I currently consider myself biromantic ace, but since my romantic interests vary and I'm not completely sure what I'm into, I often just drop it and say ace. Chances are if they want to know I find they'll ask about it eventually anyway

We need to bring back "Lambda" (the Greek letter λ), that's what my college queer student org was called, and it was founded in 1972. There are still some orgs and book awards that use it.

@@erraticonteuse Just a fun fact, but a college org called Lamda Lamda Lamda in the Revenge of the Nerds movie franchise was where minority and "othered" students were welcomed and joined.

That seems about consistent with the Northeast as well. I think the current trend of broad labels of relatively unspecified meaning could work if there were a second tier for more specific needs; if the large umbrella organization has to do everything there will be too many conflicts of interest.

I went to the Evergreen State college in Washington state in the early 2000s. The group there was The Evergreen Queer Alliance or EQA for short.

Given the 2020s...how are they faring now?

That's part of why I came up with PHAB: Pansexual, Homosexual, Asexual, Bisexual. And it sounds fabulous. As I was posting a comment on here a couple of minutes ago I realized that you could include Intersex and trans with IT for ITPHAB or PHABIT. "Phab It" could also mean to make something queer AKA fabulous.

I feel you to an extent. I'm pan too, I think the side-eyes come from a lot of people (both inside and outside the community) who tend to think people just use Pan to try and be more "special" than bi people, are biphobic, or are transphobic. That is not the case, obviously, and when I try to explain it to people I've found something that's effective and mostly accurate to my experience, especially when talking to someone outside the community who's likely only familiar with gay and bi: I tell people to think of it as almost a subcategory of being bi. All pan people are technically bi, but not all bi people are pan. I also usually add on that Pan has more to do with attraction to personality rather than attraction to one's gender. Could I use the term Bi for myself? sure, but it wouldn't be entirely accurate. Besides, Pan jokes are fun :)

I feel this!!! A fellow pan that is very tired of explains that no, I’m not bi, yes they are different. no you don’t have to understand it but don’t question my identity PLEASE

Eyllo another pan! Its nice to see more! Yeah the whole pan is just a different way to say Bi or a sub category is odd. Because for the longest time I thought I was Bi but like I liked everything?! But when I was told the Bi means not just liking male or female I kinda went. Ok. And stayed Bi.. then I found Pan and I just went.. omg me! Idk why but it felt right. I say that Bi is liking humans where as a pan person id date pretty much anything as long as the chemistry is right. But I've never found a good descriptor of pan. Pan is just yes if right. To me.

@@silver6364 I believe the largely accepted definition of pan is “attraction regardless of gender”, while bi is “attraction to multiple genders”. I am also pan, but I get why some people get confused about the differences!

I have a Shirt that says "alphabet mafia"

Fellow dyslexic here. FWIW, I use QUILTBAG+, and even spellcheckers accept it nowadays.

Haha I love alphabeti spaghetti! I might have to steal that one lol

As far as I am aware, the use of those terms with mafia is more satirical reclamation/powering down of those terms. I have yet to personally seen it used negative way.

@@IsaacMyers1 I have. But it was too cool of a phrase not to appropriate.

Also pan/Demi and I too love ambisextrous

@@rebeccagittens4946 high five! *isn't alone* *cheesy smile* Hee.

Interesting point! Outside of "queer" (which many LGBT+ people are uncomfortable with) there isn't a good umbrella term. Maybe "not cishet" which is awkward at minimum. The problem is that a _lot_ of us are intersectional in the community. I'm a trans guy. But I'm also a bisexual person who also is comfortable with being called a gay guy. And coming to terms with being asexual. So, if someone wanted to label me overall, outside of "queer" or "part of the LGBT+ community" there isn't a really good option. My guess is that queer is going to become the default, casual term over time. Although hearing that come out of the mouth of a cishet person will be weird if it gets there.

Agreed. The only commonality I have with the rest of the letters is that I'm "not a stereotypical straight and cis person." It's not a shared positive trait linking us together-it's defined by a social and political negative, and honestly, a deep part of me refuses to be categorized against my oppressor. They do not define me-I simply love other men!

I will break knees on your behalf if someone tells you you don't fit in the community, signed a trans pan guy who was given his space to figure out I was trans because the ace community encouraged me to find out who i am on my own time

I'm very late to this video and comment (oops) but I wanted to give a nod in solidarity from one Ace to another. I know she's trying to be inclusive, but unfortunately it's been made loud and clear by the community that "A is for A11y". :/

@@KristiChan1 By who? Has the LGBT+ official stated this? Because that really sucks! Damn I'm disappointed you'd think that community knowing what it's like be invalided and othered from cishet norm society would want us involved! Now I'm really to stop supporting the whole community if they are going to do us dirty!

@@diamondgirl698 Just from personal experiences and external observations over the years. There's a handful like Jessica who are supportive, but people like her are few and far between. I've no experience with any IRL groups (practically a desert for any kind of queer group where I live), but online, unless it was specifically for people who're ace (strictly ace or ace in addition to being any other combo of letters), there's a lot of pushback. Even aces who identified with say, lesbian or bi would mention their frustration that the people from their other group would dismiss their ace aspect, even if they claimed to support them entirely; you can forget it if you're a straight ace, they think you're definitely fake. I know some Aces are fighting for our rights to be in the LGBT+ space, which is admirable and I hope someday they'll be successful, but until then we need our own communities to fight against the discrimination towards us. Sorry, didn't mean to be a downer, just been around the block is all.

@@KristiChan1 so there's no official place where it's stated? It's just person to person, group to group thinking?

There are many resources on the topic, but I would recommend if available in english Intersectionality by Carla Akotirene and the collection Feminismos plurais lead by Djamila Ribeiro, a brazilian black feminist philosopher.

Oh, I just wrote about that, hadn't seen your comment. 🤗

Ah ik familiar with order of blåhaj but not friends of Dorothy

@@IndustrialParrot2816 friends of dorothy is far older, originating back in the polari days even. referred to the sequel to the wizard of oz, where dorothy's friends are called 'a queer bunch, but true friends'. there's an argument that the death of the actor for dorothy triggered stone wall, as many of the black trans women who started the revolt have talked about how they were drunk from the funeral aftermath the knight before. while order of blahaj is funny, it lacks the queer history of friends of dorothy. (also polari was a language spoken from the 1890s to 1970s by british queers that took from romani, italian and british english slang. used to prevent arrest. originated in performance culture, it's a sort of solidarity between marginalised groups like the romani people and the shared experiences of queer people of all kinds during this period. i may be ranting but the language is very cool and dying out. the word for 'change sex' (to transition is how you would probably translate it now) was remould, and in true 19 and 20th century queer language there had to be 5 words for police. sorry for infodumping)

El-Jibbity sounds like the name of a Klatchian character from Discworld.

This is why I love Quiltbag. It's inclusive AND pronounceable, and evocative of a complex and beautiful...well, quilt (I was going to say tapestry, to avoid being repetitive, but a tapestry isn't a quilt, so...). And I like that it harkens back to the AIDS quilt as well. And it also has Mary Poppins imagery of her like...carpet bag thing that held so much more than it appeared to be able to hold (although, again, a carpet is not a quilt, but still).

​@@FlailTVoh this is lovely 💕🤗 I'd not come across QUILTBAG before, think it's brilliant. I really need to find a way to insert that into a conversation and utterly baffle people! Can't wait to see the faces of certain people who make only half an effort to be accepting with absolutely no understanding at all...this is going to be fun! I'm going to have such a laugh with my kind and loving straight friends too.😂 I'm a QUILTBAG, yay!!

Oh my goodness, this is me. Except I'm probably on a longer time frame being sixty-five now and only having learned to understand my true non-binary nature from Jessica here in the last couple of years. It's been a long road of continuing awakenings, thank goodness my wife/civil partner has stayed by my side throughout the forty years of discovery.🙏

@@judebrown4103 aww, I'm so glad you have someone by your side. My partner is just awesome and my biggest supporter. We've both been going on a journey of discovery for the past several years. But we care about each other so we make it work, even when it's not easy. Ever since getting out from under my parents thumb I've been trying to figure out what was really me, and what was the mask I fabricated to survive. It's been hard but it's so worth it.

Relatable. I'm not trans, but gay. I grew up extremely sheltered (homeschooled, basically in a fundamentalist cult lol), and I had zero language for what I was experiencing. With no language, no models, and no "map" to chart the way, I literally didn't understand I was properly gay until after college. 💀 As soon as the pieces fit together... it's like every light in the house turned on.

@@AurorXZ that sounds a lot like my partner. She was homeschooled fundamentalist baptist and **yikes** her access to information was restricted. Her "history" education was reading the Bible.

@@waffles3629 Ha! Yep, Baptist also. I hope you're both doing well. ❤

I agree. It’s so frustrating sometimes how often people are like “why can’t you just use they/them?” It’s like they don’t understand how unseen you feel when some genders get to have special specific terms and you just get defaulted to “other”. Not to mention that They/Them includes men and women, so… it’s not even as specific as “other”; in being neutral it became “devoid of gender” which mightn’t described oneself at all. Xenogender solidarity.

​​@@IsaacMyers1That makes sense. I tend to picture gender as male/female/both/neither because some non-binary trans identify as mixed gender and others identity as have neither male nor female aspects. Having pronouns and titles that would more accurately reflect non-binary and intersex people would be really cool. It would also help us to step away from the male/female/other way of thinking as a society. Mx works well for people who consider themselves to be mixed gender. Maybe Nx for people who are neither?

@@Draggonny I'm agender and use Mx. for work but Nx. is giving me LIFE I might actually use that instead

@@Draggonny We need like, the gender version of the mathematical "nan" "number" (Not A Number, which is functionally something that goes beyond just being infinite and simply leaves the range of being numerical at all. a "I transcend beyond provided labels and their limits", in other words)

I don't disagree with your overall point. I will say though that "just wanting families and love" doesn't align with many queer folks goals or identities. I do _not_ want to fit in with cishet normative society. I am radical (in many senses of the word) and although I don't want to "fit in" I do want access to the same rights and basic freedom from discrimination. Respectability politics has a long and fairly ugly history in the queer community. Modern iterations include things like the UK's LGB Alliance and the US Gays Against Groomers. These are extreme examples but they are the end result if you follow the queer respectability path far enough. And for those queer folk who are seeking a more cishet normative lifestyle (marriage, white picket fence and 2.5 kids) that's great and they should have it! But framing that as _the_ battle for the LGBT+ community leaves out all of us who don't have those goals and honestly can paint a target on our backs. Said with all respect and the understanding that you were in no way intending to exclude anyone.

@CorwinFound I didn't exclude anyone though.. excepting aromantics, which, im sorry. But i still think that even they can have wants like respect from the community for their relationships, or even just lives and interests. I didn't say that we (the lgbt community) JUST want families and love . I said we just don't want to be seen as the radical idea anymore. I never said there was only one problem, I was just stating, I'm happy to have a good answer; because I never have before. I'm happy to consider it, because there ARE issues within the community regarding grooming and consent, and that's used too attack the community, saying that essentially... we're all just perverts;" keep the bedroom private, idc who you f***, or what you have between your legs, as long as i dont hear about it." Is just damaging In that context. If only we could live in that world. I'm happy some people are trying to get over their sexism (which is a whole nother conversation of scapegoating, BUT) they don't need to make queer culture dissappear to make their point. And it's often counter to the point. That there are issues that need help, and often unequating from queer folk, because pervs are literally in every group. No, being queer is so much more then sex!! Our lives and our loves. That's what I was discussing, and I don't think those are exclusive to a cishet idea of a white picket fence, you pushed that on my statement.. I'm not trying too attack you, just being clear. Sorry in advance. Thanks for reading if you did. 😊

Okay... Two things. On the minor side, you literally said "we just want families and love..." and "not be seen as radical." Those descriptions of the queer community do _not_ apply to everyone or maybe even the majority. But onward to a more concerning comment. The queer community does _not_ have a consent or grooming problem. Statistically people in the LGBT+ community are *far* less likely to engage in PDF file behaviour than cishet people. Not saying it doesn't happen - there are horrible people of every sort in any demographic - but to engage with the idea queer folk have a special and inherently different relationship with that issue is deeply problematic. I'd go so far to say that the comment is trans/homophobic. And yes, afterwards you stated there are these issues in all communities but you _started_ with "there ARE issues with grooming and consent in LGBT+ communities." You started with the biggest (and massively erroneous and bigoted) attack against the queer community. To bring the two aspects together, let's talk drag. Do you believe that drag culture (and gender non-conformity more broadly) is as valid of legal protection as marriage equality? Both are based on personal expression and freedom but one is unquestionably more "radical" (or is perceived as such.) Drag falls well outside of your description of "families and love" and has been a recent target right wing based accusations as "grooming" behaviour that is inappropriate for the eyes of children. (And yes, there is "adult" drag performance that I wouldn't be comfortable having a 10 year old watch, but that is happening in adult, age restricted environments and is no different than cishet standup. I probably wouldn't be comfortable with a 10 year old at most adult standup events I've been to.) You say you are young. All I'd say to that is be careful with your words and ingestion of right wing talking points. Bringing up the "grooming and consent" as a problem in the queer community is worrisome at minimum.

I just had to google "lesbian coconut rings" and was slightly disappointed it wasn't a dessert.

Oh I need to know more now!

​​@@Draggonnylove this, 😂though now I shall Google it with just slightly less excitement ...😊 Edit: oh wow...in googling it I found the wonderfully named dressingdykes website, how excellent. 😁

Not that I object to anything you said, I just feel compelled (for which fact I can probably thank my AutiHD) to point out that usually what we think rolls off the tongue better is just whatever we're used to hearing. Whether that's because the acronym or initialism itself is more familiar, or just a particular letter/sound/syllable order or combination carrying over from another context (like maybe we think company or band names with a shorter first word and a longer second word sound better because we have a NAME in which our first name is short and last name is long, so that rhythm is familiar and therefore more pleasing to our ear...to give one example).

The origins of "All or Nothing"

@@linusgustafsson2629 Romantic and sexual attraction are two very different things.

That's really wholesome. Bless

Goes to show that even trans people can be close minded and regressive. Also, they’re really dumb if they think Kai is a made up name. I mean technically all names are made up, but Kai is no more made up than any other name. It’s also lowkey racist since it is a very common name in various Asian and Pacific Islander cultures.

@@SarastistheSerpent Yeah, a lot or community infighting even within just trans itself Well, honestly they’re all older white ladies from England so… yeah, there’s going to be some racism there even if they don’t see it

This is all really upsetting and awful! I'm sorry you experienced that. Also, my autistic brain is extremely stuck on them saying that "Kai" is a made-up name. Because, not to quote Thor/the MCU or anything, but all names are made up! As if someone, at some point, didn't have to come up with names like "John" or "Jennifer"? And... isn't Kai the name of the boy captured in the original Hans Christian Anderson Snow Queen which is from, y'know, the mid-19th century? And also just a name from various Scandinavian/Nordic/maybe Germanic countries? Isn't it also a not-uncommon name from various Pacific island cultures? I just???

@@yarnpenguin it’s okay. I live in a conservative town so it’s unavoidable. Not a lot of open mindedness here And yeah, every name had to be created at some point. Honestly it’s probably not English enough for them, or they don’t consider it could just be a non English name

​@@yarnpenguin Yes, Kai is quite a common name in Germany, so it probably also was in Denmark.

Interesting! Because old people in Germany use(d) the word "warm" (=warm) for "gay". I read it was short for "warmer Bruder" (warm brother), used in the early 20th century, which had been a term centuries ago that described some kind of very close relationship between men, maybe some kind of lavender marriage: "like a brotherhood out pf the warmth of their love for each other". Maybe it was similar in Polish?

@@elektra121 I did some reaserch And it turns out that the origin of the word ”ciepły” as in gay actually comes from the german Warmer bruder. Apparently, during ww2 german SS officers would sometimes use the term ‘warmer bruder’ as a way to refer to gay men infront of Polish people, And then Polish would themself use the word “ciepły” as in gay.

@@CitizenOfPoland Wow, that's so interesting! Thank you!

Yh, I also usually use queer or rainbow/alphabet mafia around my queer friends, but go with LGBTQ in non-queer settings

THE ALPHABET MAFIA

Love the alphabet mafia term, mostly because it is just very silly and goofy

I get why people don't like it; be hard to be taken seriously as it's so similar to many insulting terms (eg: d-bag) and could easily be used to delegitimize serious movements. Personally I love it as a more playful, lighthearted term that acknowledges and pokes a bit of fun at the diversity and messiness of our community; because sometimes it does feel a bit like a giant quilted tote of randomness and glitter 😆 especially when we party! I think it's day will come, but we have to get much closer to equality before that happens.

​@aprildawnsunshine4326 I love the rainbow glitter quilted totebag mental image. In my mind, it has a unicorn embroidered applique. Most of my queer friends are also crafters who would absolutely rock the QUILTBAG quiltbag.

@@Draggonny I'm more a wannabe crafter myself 😆 but that does sound like a really good idea for fundraising, making quiltbags. Could even do different colors and symbols for every identity and have the money go towards inclusion efforts within the community

It is my fav of the terms so far and has been for many years. 😅 Also, quilts are super relevant to things like social activism and many people including the our community. I mean, in smaller quieter ways but also in major glaring examples like The Quilt ❤

I can _kinda_ get it on the face of it...but at the same time, I quickly discard such. I prefer "GRSM" at present, but "QUILTBAG" is so very simple.

same here

Same here! If I would not have met my demi-soulmate I don't know how I would have been seen and how I would have defined myself..

Lol. I'm not sure. Maybe they are derogatory terms for them? I don't know how versed you are on Polish, and I certainly have zero idea on the language.

It's safe to say at this point, with so much accelerationist rhetoric coming from these monsters, that anyone vocal/highly visible openly showing this mindset is entirely aware of what they're doing.

Labour also has LGBT+ Labour

Fuck it, me calling the lgtbq “rainbow dudes”

As a civil servant your comment made me internally wince. We use so many acronyms that no acronym reference guide includes even half of them and many of them are used for 2 or more different things because there are only so many letters in the alphabet. Even my job title has an acronym in it. Why can't we juat use our words like regular humans?

@@Draggonny You have my sympathy. If it makes you feel better, I'm pretty sure the idea came from an episode of NCIS LA.

I've seen that used a lot as a slur, mostly by the terminally online alt-right groups as a way to stir up hate about whatever queer thing they dislike today

@@Armunn01 oh no, really?! That's awful 😭 I'll make sure to only use it within the friends group then to ensure everyone knows the meaning. Thanks for telling me!

You and your friends are adorable and funny, along with all the other folks who like being playful with our identities, but I personally am always against the word "mafia" being used in a positive sense. So I always go for things like "rainbow community", or "LGBTQ+", or "queer"... Even though it's a non-issue most of the time, because in my country, unless you're in company of kindred spirits, you have to be grateful for any kind of language that isn't being intentionally used to insult and denigrate...