Real people aren't queer baiting. Nobody owes anyone to come out. Queer baiting is when you make a TV show where you continue to make subtext that implies a queer relationship because you want to cater to that audience but you never make it official. Not when a real person doesn't tell you her sexuality. And I think it's disturbing that other people are so invested in the sexual or romantic orientation of a stranger.

thank you for saying that real people can't queerbait! the amount of people I've seen saying that is so frustrating

As a queer swiftie (like, BIG swiftie), I definitely enjoy queer readings of her lyrics, which drew me into gaylor groups. But once you get past the fun bits... I question if many of them even like Taylor at this point. It feels like some of the worst examples of parasocial relationships and I have a lot of sympathy for those who intertwine their own identity so thoroughly with celebrities.

I understand why a person might be curious about a celebrity's sexuality, but that's where it should stop. Our assumptions are OUR problem, not THEIRS. And we need to stop making it theirs.

"Her physical demeanor and ability to drape her long limbs over both furniture and people" is award-winning writing. 😂😂😂

I think people need to learn the term "performative activism" because, from what I've seen, that's what people actually mean (or what they are trying to get at) a lot of the time when they say a real person is queerbaiting. A real person cannot be held responsible for failing to live up to what are essentially headcanons about them, but they can (and should) be criticised for shallow allyship, fetishisation, using queer history inappropriately, etc. This applies to all celebrities people have assumed are queer, whether grounded in reality or not - and also to out queer celebrities!

I think a big part of this is that the two bins in people's brains labeled "fictional" and "nonfiction" have a lot of stuff inside them that should really be in the other one. Taylor Swift is a real person, but she gets a lot of stories told about her as if she were a thing to play with and not someone with agency and feelings

"You're not guilty for putting your personal safety first." THANK YOU!!! I've always valued my safety as it's rare that I ever truly felt safe... I always felt guilty for it, too, because people say that makes me part of the problem.... Thank you for saying that. I do stand up when I feel I have the strength to do so and prevent harm... but when I feel I'll only make matters worse? I walk away. I hate myself for it... but sometimes walking away is the wiser answer.

Hear hear!! Let's leave Taylor (and all the other artists, actors etc) alone. We aren't entitled to know people's desires and frankly it's just fucking wierd to be constantly demanding the intimate details of strangers lives!!

projecting onto art from your point of view by pulling through your experiences is part of the fun of enjoying art BUT once that crosses the line into projecting onto the actual artist themselves is where things get dangerous!!

33:38 “Snape/Harry from Harry Potter” I really don’t want this to be a misspeak of “Draco/Harry” because the idea that Jessica thinks that Snape/Harry is the most popular MLM Harry Potter ship is VERY funny.

Oof. That's a perspective that I had never considered. I'm very much in the same boat as Claudia for this one. While I self identify as queer now (NB, ace) I was socialized as female and am visibly identifiable as such. I have always had very affectionate physical friendships throughout my life and have definitely taken for granted the fact that friendships were just "like that". I never would have thought twice about how long I was hugging my friend. That's heartbreaking to hear that something so incredibly fundamental to our human primate nature is being internally policed by people in your position. Reminiscent of the way that men are externally socialized to repress those needs... I'm so sorry you had that added pressure. 💔💚

people had been feeling that they know everything in Taylor's life (this coming from a fan). I've seen theories about her sexuality, potential marriages and even Miscarriages, which to me is totally disrespectful. But sadly is not new, she's been exposed to the medie since she was 16, and like every other young/ child "celebrity" the media and people feel they have a say in that person's life. I feel it's something so sad, not only for Taylor and the people around her, but to other celebrity whose sexuality has been question, like Harry Styles, Shawn Mendes, Camila Cabello, etc

Wow, not really related to the main topic of the video, but when you explained how you and Claudia's interpretations of female friendships differ I had the biggest realization moment. I also had the "straight teen" experience and I have noticed a similar disconnect even after coming out, and I was never able to really put a name to that until now!

As a queer Taylor Swift fan I couldn't care less what sexuality she is, obviously it would be wonderful if someone i love and look up to is the same as me, but if she's not, that's fine too. As a WLW of course i interpret queerness in her lyrics because that makes them mean more to me and my life. But if she says she's straight she's straight. If she comes out tomorrow then tomorrow she's gay. You don't know her, you have to take her word for what SHE is.

I'm not a Taylor Swift fan (just not my thing), but this was such an astute analysis of this whole situation. I particularly loved your point about the ease of physical affection between straight teenage girls. Even before I realised my queerness, there was that layer of weird awareness of physical affection and what it could mean.

Some fans have way too much time to over analyze things that aren't actually hurting anyone or their business.

Real people can't queerbait about their own sexuality and no one owes us coming out. I'm so glad you talked about this, the situation is a real shitshow and while I feel bad for gaylors they also need to get a grip and stop investing so much time and energy into speculation.

An aside, if you'd like fandoms where f/f ships are more popular than m/f or m/m, i implore you to look into sailor moon. There are cannon queer women in the show, and many thoughtful, welcoming, relatable queer readings/headcannons for characters who are not explicitly labeled as queer in the text.

When I was younger, the term 'queerbaiting' described the sort of thing that happened to Matthew Shepard - the luring of a queer person with pretended queerness before proceeding on to 'queerbashing'. Every single time I see that word used to describe manipulating implications for commercial success, I remember friends I've seen broken and bruised after being attacked ,and shudder at the way the word downplays brutality. Every. Single. Time. But yeah, I'm old, and one day people of my generation will be dead and no longer picture beaten friends or remember Matthew Shepard's face when the term is used, so that's fine.

thank u fr, the amount of times I've heard someone saying ''they're queer baiting!!'' just beacuse someone was being themselves :(

Here's my unsolicited take: You can speculate with out turning those speculations into rumors. As the old saying goes, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say amything at all. Spreading rumors of any kind is never a nice thing, especially rumors that could harm a person.

As someone on the asexual spectrum I want more asexual representation on tv shows!

I'm 64 bi cis female, funny thing is l have never been asked. People assume. It would be great if people had open honest conversations. As far as public people, I don't care who they are attracted to, but the goodness they put in the world.

as a gaylor who generally tries to keep it respectful (like by finding queer themes in taylor's music, or thinking about how her songs resonate with my own experiences of queerness), thank you for not just saying "all gaylors are horrible people" like I've seen a lot of people doing lately. I agree that taylor does not owe a declaration of her sexuality to anyone, but I think queer readings of art are okay. I'm not the biggest fan of when people actually write articles about this, though. I think it should stay within fandom spaces.

Taylor has said in an interview that she was not comfortable stating her political views, as she grew up in the era of the Dixie Chicks being ousted off the country music scene after they expressed their political views about George W. Bush. She was reminded time and time again to be a good girl and not to express any political stance, so she didn't end up like them. I think it took a lot of growing and reflecting from her to reach a point to be active and vocal about her political views. There's even a scene where she's seen arguing with here father about this, in here documentary, Miss Americana.

19:30 thoseflashinggreeneyes is wrong; the BLACK community invented shade. We can use it, but we must honour its origins.

I find it really really doubtful that a queer woman who is intent on keeping her Sapphic side private, would go about adding bi-sexual Easter Eggs in her videos, hoping no one else would ever notice and find her out.

Small correction: the picture at 10:06 is not Matty Healy. I’m not sure who he is, though. :p Also, I never thought “Girls” by Rita Ora had iffy lyrics- one of the lines is literally “I’m 50/50 and I’m never gonna hide it”. Never really understood the outrage from that one.

I feel like the Gaylor movement is an example of a trend I've noticed in fandom culture over the last 20 years: fan-theory confirmation bias. With the Internet being widely accessible and most fan spaces being consolidated into social media sites rather than personal blogs, it has become easier and easier for people to get their fan theories about pieces of media out there, and thus, more people learn about these theories, gather evidence for them, and whole-heartedly believe them to be true. (Something similar is also happening regarding conspiracy theories, but that's a whole other can of worms.) So when a piece of media has a new episode or installment that explicitly deconfirms a fan theory, people will often either rage out against the specific episode/installment, declaring it to be horrible and/or dismissing it as "non-canonical", or they will re-write the fan theory to accommodate for the new twist. The proliferation of fan theories has often made it near-impossible for writers to have properly foreshadowed plot twists without some wise guy online figuring everything out before it's going to happen and ruining at least part of the surprise. In fact, it's been postulated that the reason _The Last Jedi_ and _The Rise of Skywalker_ both turned out to be so messy and eclectic is because they genuinely wanted to surprise people, so they kept bringing on new directors and scrapping plot points in order to ensure that no fan theorist would be able to catch onto what they were doing. They wrote by the seat of their pants to dissuade fan theorists from "predicting" what's going to happen next, thinking that would be the worst-case scenario; but little did they know, the harsh reaction from the fan theorists in not having their theories proven is actually far worse than the reaction from fan theorists who "knew it all along", and that it is _far_ more important than to have a coherent plot than a shocking one. Gaylorism is what happens when these fan-theorization techniques, traditionally used for pieces of fictional media, fall into the hands of a real-life musician's fandom. Combing through songs to find bits of what they perceive as evidence, using symbology that probably means nothing as evidence to support their theory, dismissing every piece of counter-evidence as either "fake" or "a horrid betrayal of the fandom", ruining the ability for Taylor and other celebrities to keep things under wraps... those are all things that fan theorization has done. Except instead of the overarching plot of a media franchise, it's a woman's real-life sexuality that they're trying to will into existence.

I mean, there's also the idea of people who are incredible allies because they don't understand something about themselves, but they know they support LGBTQI+ people. Not saying Taylor is one of these either, but there are all kinds of situations that we're not privy to, that *she* might not be privy to. I, personally, am completely willing to accept her alliance at face value--she has the ability to do wonderful things for us, and we should never discount that. Also, it's ultimately none of our damn business.

14:27 “… which surprises me every time I remember that fact.” Oh, that is so relatable!

I remember when Elliot Page came out as trans and people were flipping out "does this mean [Elliot] betrayed us lesbians?" uhhhghhh. No. It doesn't. It means sometimes people change and evolve over time. When people find themselves, regardless, I think we should celebrate. And if they say nothing leave them alone? Being force-outted sucks.

The Star Trek fandom is abundant with F/F ships, FTR. Janeway/Seven, Uhura/Chapel, Kira/Dax, Detmer/Owasekun (hoping the final season of DIS makes that canon, TBH), Crusher/Troi, T'Pol/Hoshi... And I can name a good dozen more off the top of my head.

I was briefly sucked into gaylorism - never vocally online, I just watched videos, read tumblr posts, and talked to some of my friends about it, - but after awhile it just started to feel sad. Because I really do think the driving force of that fandom *is* just that…it would be so cool. It would mean so much. TAYLOR SWIFT being queer. Especially if you’re queer and a fan of her. But the thing is, that doesn’t make it real. And it also doesn’t make the extreme parasocial behavior okay or healthy

I mean this nyt article is super similar to one from like a year or two ago about Harry Styles so Taylor's PR team should know they would do that to male celebrities

These past two videos have reminded me why I subbed to you. You always put out content that validates what I have been fruitlessly telling ppl in my real life and being dismissed. You put it all so comprehensively. I just have to show them your videos and then they understand. And it's all very important stuff. You have no idea how much this helps. Thank you so much.

Taylor Swift first got her start 19 years ago. not 10. Point remains the same but she has been around for nearly 20 years. People often forget that. It takes a lot of talent to not only keep going but to keep getting bigger for 20 years.

If you don’t think Taylor Swift can be in the closet because she’s privileged, you’re more privileged. It is still very “unacceptable” to be gay in most places. Taylor does not have to share what she does in the bedroom in order to support the lgbtqia community. It does not matter if she is or isn’t gay. She has every right for you not to know that personal information about her. It quite literally could save her life because of some of the places and situations she finds herself in as one of the most famous (and therefore vulnerable) woman in the world.

I'd never heard of the suspicion that Swift wasn't straight. I also really don't care. I'm happy for those queer artists who are openly so, but that has to be their choice to be so. Nobody should be forced to express who they are or aren't attracted to.

I didn’t know any of the Taylor Swift drama but I very much enjoyed the in depth information and relating it to our shared queer experiences and the history of queer baiting etc, so thank you!

As a (respectful) gaylor I appreciate your empathy and kindness in talking about this. The only thing I would add is that gaylors receive much hate from swifties, a lot of times they're directly homophobic towards us. So when Taylor Swift says something "anti-gaylor" (anything that swifties can use against us) a lot of gaylors are hurt, not because she's "queerbaiting", but because then we receive a lot of extra hate. One example of this was when Taylor said the song "Betty" was from the pov of a boy, gaylors received a lot of hate for thinking the song was queer-coded and some even got doxxed. I think criticism is always needed, but we don't deserve hate, especially not slurs and homophobic arguments disguised as anti-gaylorism. There's also a lot of division within the gaylor fandom, most of us don't think she's queerbaiting, that she has to come out, or that the media should be speculating about her sexuality. But there are always groups of people saying harmful shit, like in all fandoms.

As always, so eloquently put!! :) Thank you for spreading awareness and thank you for explaining this in a way that I can now take with me for future conversations with others on this topic!!

I was watching, enjoying the points Jessica was making, then she touched my soul - I have always found myself feeling weird about miscommunicating attraction to any gender even before I realized I was bi / pan. I've always wondered how other girls were so touchy feely with each other and comfortable about it while I wasn't - at all. But I'm a hugger! A careful hugger... 🤔😳🤯 This part blew my mind in a good way ❤ I think I understand myself a little bit better now! Thank you for that!

Here’s my take as a very very queer Swiftie: People will think what they think, and no one can control that, and I can continue to think what I think about Taylor. It a becomes a problem when fans force their interpretations or ideas of her songs onto her. I think the most unreasonable part is forcing anyone to come out, which could happen to Taylor in the future if it is true and the pressure continues. This has happened many times to actors and it is a real problem (take Kit Conner for example). I have one friend who I talk to about my swiftie theories and we would absolutely never want Taylor to feel any pressure from her fans about anything, but I know that it is an inevitable part of being a public figure.

I feel that on hugging my friends. Although in a sense it was more of teachers getting a bit upset over it, because they assumed I didn't ask for permission to do so.

I am a bisexual woman and I too can relate to worrying about being "too gay" with my female friends and acquaintances. Sometimes, I see straight women holding hands, draping their arms around each other, or even like in the case you described, making out while their boyfriends watch. I just think to myself, I couldn't ever do those things with a woman and call myself straight or do those things with a woman I didn't have some sexual or romantic interest in. Now, I'm realizing that it could very much be more about me, how I grew up, and other things, and I've been projecting my feelings outward. Thank you for this thoughtful video. As for Taylor, I did spend some time wondering if she was bi or pan, but if she's spent so long insisting that she is an ally and nothing more, I don't think it's up to us to press the matter.

I don't think I coud name a single Taylor Swift song let alone her friends or people she's dated prior to watching this video. Still love any reason for you to keep making your always entertaining and educational content.

Loved this! Really liked the historical context added as well!

you're so right! we need to stop accusing people of queerbaiting! Like we have zero right to know any individual's sexuality, and trying to pry people out of the closet is such a gross behaviour. But it also seems so prescriptive- playing into the sterotype of LGBT being a personality trait you can tell by how someone dresses/acts rather than their sexuality. If someone wants to dress in a slightly non traditional way for our current timeperiod we should jsut let them be (red souled high heels were the height of manliness a few hundred years ago- that they're seen as feminine now is a societal thing)

Omg a Jessica video about Taylor Swift with a quick mention of Fletcher??? My lesbian soul is singingggg. Thank you for this video Jessica ❤❤❤

As a married cs het woman i am very phyisicaly affectionate with everyone i know. Unless they indecate they dont like it i'm very cuddly. So the way taylor is with her friends is very relateble to me .

JK-F got your consistent informed commentary on all things it’s LGBTQI+ is a godsend. You’re the best of us. Thank you.💜

This was so informative and thought-provoking in addition to being well-researched. Thank you 💛

Your video is so expertly put together, thoughtful and informative. But mainly I want to comment and tell you I can't get over how well your outfit matches the set.

I think the choice to foreground Wilde and everything we've lost to forced outing was absolutely inspired! Thank you. About the prevalence of femslash, I recently found a video by the channel Obviously Queer about hope for F/F in fandom, and it was kind of unique for entries in the Femslash Paucity Debate by paying a lot of attention to areas of growth and excitement, so instead of being bitter or bummed out about the whole situation, I left feeling inspired to write and see what other people are writing. I'd love to see your thoughts!

Wow, I liked this very much! The example of you and Claudia looking at friendships differently based on your safety in them while growing up was very informative. Also: the depth and humor of this video remind of of the Docu's that abigail from philosophyTube makes! Possibly you could do a collab in the future?

Rina Sawayama is so good!!!!! Also love dodie and everyone else, but if people haven’t listened to Rina Sawayama I’d super recommend her!

Completely agreed, Alexander Avila made a great video on this. I would link to it but links in comments are blocked.

This was fantastically educational, perfectly timely, & I'm totally sharing this on my social media!

I don’t have any thoughts on her, but I do think YOU are AMAZING, Jessica, and enjoyed so many of the points you made in this video. Three cheers to YOU! 🎉🎉🎉

Thank you so, so much for this

What makes me mad is that they could be supporting a lot of actual LGBT artists. Instead of being mad that your fav isn’t, find a fav who is. Prop up actual indie lgbt artists.

Beautifully and artistically produced video. Perfection. Indeed a pleasure to watch.

I enjoyed this video so much, 2 of my favourite things Jessica talking about queer topics and Taylor Swift. I totally agree with the point of "people can't queerbait", sometimes it gets annoying how a lot of people in the LGBTQ+ community get if something don't go the way they want.

I thoroughly enjoyed this!!!

I absolutely love your view on this. ❤

Real question & not trying to be rude or start fights: if individuals can't "queer bait" what would you call it when legit straight people intentionally "act gay" or illude to being gay, to gain popularity with the LGBTQ+ community without being gay/stating they are straight & not actually caring about the LGBTQ+ community or it's causes/struggles? Because I usually see that referred to as "queer baiting" & if that's not the right term idk what to call it because there is a TikToker who is straight but makes videos with his sister's boyfriend, acting like he's his boyfriend & it always makes me feel uncomfy

Beautifully articulated Jessica!! Well said!

Taylor has always said she wants us to relate her songs to our lives. So if you’re queer, you cry, rage, and reminisce about a queer relationship, sure. But she’s also said she is not part of the community just an ally. So making elaborate think pieces about how she’s lying seems really rude.

I must be getting old because so much of the things discussed in the video are news to me. But I'll just say one thing from the cheap seats...whether she's gay/bi/straight/anything else, it's nobody's business but hers. Same as anything private in her life is nobody's business but hers. People don't think how'd they'd feel if complete strangers demanded total access to their lives to bisect and comment on based on what their job is. Just grow up and knock it off.

I think the internet is full of people that will hate you REGARDLESS of how you express yourself, or do. Ie you get hated on if you're fat, hated on if you're skinny. The neigh sayers will always find SOMETHING to put down, or shift the goal posts. Ie the thing with Harry Styles: MULTIPLE NB and Trans identifying people have said for YEARS that their identities and expressions have zilch to do with who they're attracted to.. yet most q men and woman want to hold Harry to a different standard?? Just do and be WHATEVER and WHOEVER makes you happy.

This is a very important video!! No real person should have their sexuality publicly speculated. Taylor has a right to a private life as much as anyone else. P.S at 10:06 that’s actually a picture of Nick Grimshaw, not Matty Healy

Thank you for this amazing video:) It's really important to spread awareness about the effect queerbaiting has on society and all that. Love your rings btw:)

Great video Jessica, would love to see more on pop culture from you :)

Jessica is such a kind creator, I absolutely adore her

Best video on this topic ever. I love you girl, you’re awesome.

I remember when Alexis Arquette try to out Will Smith over an issue that have nothing to do with Smith sexuality the Oscar Boyscott back in 2016 and then say Smith is homophia because he refuse to kiss another man in a movie back in the 1990's after a famous actor tell him not to do it people forget how bad the early 90's was for LGBT people

Thank you so much for this video. You have managed to put my complicated feelings on the Taylor Swift issue into words. Relating to someone's songs about love and relationships even if they're a different sexuality than you just proves that "love is love" and we're all experiencing similar emotions. I think Taylor Swift using her platform to promote queer rights is a good thing, no matter how she identifies.

I will never understand why some people think you can't be friends with people that have a gender you are attracted to. Doesn't mean you are automatically attracted to your friend even if they have the right gender technically. Attraction is more than just gender and genitals and all of that. We also are never owed knowing someones identity like that.

i love you so much thank you for making this for several reasons 💕

Loved this video, it puts my opinion on queerbaiting very well into words 😂 and I love your wittiness ❤

I wad 6 years old when my friend asked me which boy of our class i liked. I thought she meant like as in like in a platonic way.bl itold het: Bob. But also Martin. She poked at me and chanted all the way to the street where we both lived: "Janine is in love with Bob". I felt so weird. What is wrong in liking a boy, just liking? I liked certain girls in my.class as well. Not to become the very best besties per se. Just like them and if had not been part of a very big family and if i had not been autistic, which i did not know,and only was diagnosed 4 years ago, at age 57, i might have been more social and may have become friends with Bob, Martin AND with those two girls. But at home were already so many people, i had more than my share of socialising. And i was the youngest and was trying to make sense of the world around me. My fanily, we had a lot of real genuine laughter, we sang a lot but there were also layers of tensions benesth the laughter and i was aware of these but not fully understanding them and why these were there. I was too busy in my head to really have time.and energy for socialising outside of my family. Since that time i hate the constant attempts of sexualising stuff, like enjoying certain foods, or you like your friend a lot but you do not feel sexually attracted to them, whether boy or girl. And people hint constanty that it probably is much more than platonic friendship...So why is our society so onsessed and focussed on sex? All the time. All the time. One's sexuality is ones own. That is how i feel about this. If you want to private about it l respect that very much. If you want to.talk about it to good friends, it is okay with me. But not indefinetely. I dont care what you want to talk about but if a certain topic you talk about mostly with me, i get very fed up because it too much the same too often. Oh yes, I did feel sexually attracted sometimes, yes i did😂 but exclusively to men. Usually i was not aware that i got interested in a man because i also fekt sexually attracted😂 I was quite innocent for a long long time. Oh the joys is fbhaving an autistic brain! I think of those times with fondness and laughter. Nowadays i have other stuff in my life and feel rarely sexually attracted, and if i do i find it quite funnynand dont do anything with it. I think ahhh it is still alive, my libido. Cause single life suits me well. Living for 57 years with not knowing you are autistic is quite hard and can give you serious mental illnesses. Romantic sexual relationships were not for me, was my comclusion when i was 45. I tried but i also wad the one who broke up with the boyfriend of that time. I was too insecure and too intense for that kind of closeness. Why would i have to care about what any celebrity or my neighbour for that matter, feels sexually attracted to? Most artists who become celebrities even when they dont have that much artistic talent, are also attention seekers and are not alwaysbwell balanced persons. Being so often in the public eye is stressful and being so well known and earn a lot of money can make you do weird things. It is peoples ' oriotrity to not be clear about their sexual preferences. Only those who that celebrity feel close to are maybe, maybe entitled to clarity on that dubject. Mine might be a form of asexuality but i do like sex and i have only done it with men. Cause i dont really get turned on by women. As for straight women not being able to form longlasting friendships with lesbians, i think that that very very very much depend on the lesbian in question. i met some bi+ and lesbian women, i became friends with them, and they hit on me but i did not notice until they made a pass.And i made then clear i am not sexually attracted to women and no i did not want to try. Because at that time sex was a kind of investment of time, trust and energy that i only wanted to make and invest in with someone i really felt a connection with on a physical mental, and soul level. I had a lot of jealousy, betrayal and gaslighting in my life. I had major trust issues for most of my adult life, until fairly recently. Most heterosexual men and bi- or lesbian women cannotn maintain friendships with heterosexual women because of the sexual attraction issue. It gives tensions when one of the people involved in such a friendship wants a platonic friendship and the other wants more. There were not that many women i only encountered three in my whole life, who fell in love with me. And i could not reciprocate. Sex is a normal thing for me. But it gets so spoiled bevause in western european culture almost everything gets sexualised. And people are even more defined by how their sexuality is defined or of importance to.others. As to taylor swift, i am not particularly fond of her music but i dont hate it. I jave no great need ti know if she is gay or bi or asexual or just as empty and fake as i find Madonna. Both singers dont interest me much. One has more creative talent in singing and song writing than the other. Both worked hard for many many years. Anfd got world famous.Good fir them. And i understand why lesbians wabt to know where Taylor Swift us attracted to, sexually. Because any fanius oerson who publicly.comrs out of the closet can help to change the mindset of loads of people towards homosexuality and maybe even bisexuality. Welk yiunknow, Taylor Swift blmufhtnby noe not know herself. Bevause western Europe and the Usa and Canada have a very unhealthy focus on sex. Sex seems to be the summit of joy. More than the joy of an orgasm does not exist according to many many people.. Fir me, true comnecting with another person, from heart to heart gives me tremendous joy. Being in nature too. How the sun rays light uo a leaf or a branch gives me great joy. Toddlers and older children and lots of animals,mostky mannals, that are pets give me joy. Joy can be found almost everywhere. The best comnection is with your own core, is my experience. There you find inner peace and wisom and balance, and siund advice and gentleness. At least that is my experience so far.

Omg, I just recently wrote a paper for a Media Studies course at uni about this!! 😂 So happy to hear a similar opinion ❤❤

Excellent video as always !

Nice set up today, love all the purple.

Thank you so much for talking about this, people have forced celebrities out of the closet with these excuses like Kit Connor

Other femslash ships that definitely were pretty strong throughout my younger days online: Marceline/Bubblegum (adventure time), Cosima/Delphine (orphan black), Korra/asami (legend of korra), ruby/sapphire (Steven universe), catra/adora (she-ra), and one that was really big when I was in high school was carmilla/Laura from the carmilla webseries! Definitely not trying to say that the guy slash pairings aren’t more popular, but wanted to show these some love! Really wanna rewatch some of these

Great video, love your content! I am so jealous of your bangs

I’ve always viewed my 5ft feminine statue as predatory because of my bisexuality. I didn’t start telling people until I was 20 that I’m bi but it still deeply effected how I interacted with my peers. Thank you for mentioning that overlooked part of growing up in a society that sexualises queerness. There was never anything sexual about the way I thought about the girls around me but I still felt such a deep shame for thinking some of them where really cool and pretty.

I hope you enjoy your trip to Malaysia. It's a beautiful country with great food. If you're ever in Penang try out some Char Kuey Teow.

I think the thing that really irritated me with those blaming Billie Eilish for queerbaiting, is that she is only 22 years old, I think 19-20 when she recorded that song. There's an extreme possibility that she is still figuring out her sexuality. It's like, can we please leave these women alone and let them just be people? I know that it's impossible to ask that, what with how invested everyone is in all famous people's love lives, but it's still awful in my eyes.

Excellent! A very interesting and intelligent breakdown

This is fantastic. Thank you.

loved the Brandi Carlile shout-out, I love her sm 😊

This was an amusing and entertaining way to deliver a well-researched and balanced explanation! Thank you!

'You don't have to agree with me but have you ever seen a toga?' Having worn one, yes, I have. They're incredibly unconfortable and if you don't have pins to keep it in place (and pins aren't allowed) you have to sit in a very specific postition the whole time hoping someone doesn't undress you by accident. Not fun

Thank you for this. I am a huge Swiftie, but I'd missed the Gaylor stuff. I knew she was an ally and had female friends. The concept that people are mad cuz she's "just" an ally is... a thing. And that Celebs are allowed to have their own sexuality and discover it along the way. And to evolve. I became part of the queer community as a full grown adult women (40+) and so had never considered my hugs with women as a potential landmine. And now... now I have worry that men will think I'm trying to lesbo their wivse or that the women I hug might think I'm hitting on them. Ugh.

Also, there's a band I personally know and have been a fan of since they were small and they're pretty successful now. They're music has been the soundtrack to my life for 15 years. I read a lot in to it about being disabled, because I am. None of them are, I'm sure that's not the songs' intentions, I know they weren't writing about me, but that's just what you do with art.

34:00 Xena and Gabrielle!!!