Our son has played all these personas, but Charmer is his main character. Currently he hasn’t been talking to us (husband and I) because we aren’t playing the game and he has become frustrated with us. We have set boundaries as no more financial help. We had to take the car, owned by us, and found out he was driving high and using the car to make his drug deals. We have stopped listening to the “charm”.

My man is the charmer. it very hard to break away bc he is so good at this

He will literally scream at us about things we do but he’s listing off the things He is doing. He’s so beyond twisted. Fixing him is not my job!!!! I’m done with his bull shit self inflicted misery!

So dang spot on!!! I have seen all of these techniques!! And fallen for most of them....🙄🥺

Manipulative vulnerability from the user…. 😢 I never even saw it, instead, I believed him bc I wanted his sobriety soo much.

I have an unemployed relative who is in the process of reapplying for disability. She currently receives housing and nutrition benefits. She constantly asks me to send her money for gas, car insurance, etc. She can be very nice, but often gets mean when I don't help. I want no part of helping her be behind the wheel because of her past struggles with prescription drugs. She tells me she is not taking certain medications anymore so insists she is safe to drive. I'm so disappointed her primary doctor doesn't do something to discourage/prevent her from driving. After a dangerous drug combo that affected her breathing a few months ago, the ER doctor said she should not be driving. Yet her primary doctor just talked to her and told her not to take benzos with opiates. She claims she is listening to him and really needs to drive to be able to get to various doctor appointments (she has kidney disease and arthritis). I have bought her shoes, cleaning supplies, etc to try to help. But she is making me feel awful for not helping her with car-related expenses and other bills and says I don't trust her. I want her to feel hopeful, valued and encouraged. I don't know what to do because I live far away from her.

I cannot stand the confused persona. Playing dumb when they're confronted with being asked to take accountability for their actions

What is the science behind why an alcholic repeats themselves over and over? I've heard the same stories 100s of times and he acts like it's the first time, every time. Is this a sign of serious cognitive decline?

This is so hard to listen to so resignates with me I just wish all people in addition and their loved ones that one day we will all be OK and free off the addiction that we all suffer not just the person with it but all their loved ones too.

All of this is so helpful to me as recognize some of these behaviors in the addicted people in my family. This gives me so much clarity and understanding. Thank you so much.

I love this channel! I just wish I could find help for myself. Thank you for work!

Brilliant video, dead on, as usual. It seems that this is about my experience, word for word.

More on boundaries: 👉🏻👉🏻kzfaq.info/get/bejne/nJOXpMJ_lsmpdqM.html

you are good! thank you

You are awesome!

This may seem cynical, but if I was dating an alcoholic, I would seriously hesitate on moving in together, getting engaged, and especially getting married. They can change for the worse when the courtship phase is over and they think they “have” you… even if they love you. Sorry. Thank you for doing these videos, Amber 🙏🏼

Unfortunately I'm not gonna be able to watch this til later tonight, but just listening to your intro, I know I'm gonna need this advice! After 2 years of my son on the streets (addicted to fentanyl) and another year and half prior to that on and off this drug, I had been doing really well with handling his manipulation tactics for AT LEAST a year. But over the past few months I've fallen right back into his traps. I dunno WHAT the hell happened to cause me to do this because I absolutely KNOW his m/o and I'm struggling wicked hard with why I've been allowing it!! 😫 Last Friday, I DID reset a coupla boundaries, and thank God I've stuck to them (and God willing I'll continue to stay strong). Have you run across this with clients before, where they definitely know the manipulations, and do really well at shutting them down for a while, but suddenly "relapse"?? I'm just very confused why after all this time I reverted and I'm absolutely pissed off at myself for this!!!

SAD persona totally got me!

I definitely get the anger defense, but when that doesn't work I get the confused. He often says he isn't very smart. He is a very intelligent person, it's so scary and then frustrating

How would you know if these behaviors are addiction related (with for sure addiction) OR if they're possibly Narcissistic or high in Narcissism traits?? I'm very concerned that I could be dealing with a narcissist but that could be because I had a near past covert narcissist relationship so idk how to tell the difference.

Alcohol is a smytom of depression and anxiety, I wouldn't have thought it was the other way around

Would you agree with directing a person who is agreeing to help towards AA?

I'm confused about your Thursday Live. To be able to interact with you, I need to be on Facebook or youtube? Comments section isn't available to me during the Live on youtube?

Wow! My friend has all the first three personas. He is a master manipulator .... How do you deal with these manipulations. Just ignore? It is pretty difficult to do that and often makes it worse from my experience.

Is enforcing a boundary ever counterproductive?

Mr Charmer begets Mr Sad begets Mr Confused. So ridiculous

Please tell me addicts know they are loved by their families my sister drank alone in her flat after two detoxes she normaly came back to us for a while this time she carried on drinking do you think the hospital staff said something to her she would not tell us I’m devastated I love her so much this was five weeks ago she was so lovely.

Adderall and alcohol! Please mention this in one of your videos. We both have adhd but I don't misuse it and didn't am not a alcoholic so I don't act foolish on it. We have went through hell bc of it.

How do I answer when she says you are my problem ,don’t live with me, has a dog is sad and alone most of the time .What do I do?

Where does the convenient religious manipulator fall in personas??? Addicts (spouses & teen/young adults) play to deflect and coherse so their financial dependency is not withdrawn.

Drama triangle.. persecutor victim accuser.. what about transactional analysis? Ego states.. what ego state is the one with issue with alcohol? Rebellious child? Either way they are great manipulators

I don't know is my 28 yr old boyfriend answer for a lot of things.😳

Can you do a video about opiate withdrawal and why people withdrawing from opiates are so angry. And is that the same for other addictions?