At last! I've found a Dr who actually talks about healing from adverse childhood experiences in a way that aligns meaningfully with my personal experiences of processing my trauma.

Here after reading Stephanie Foo 🙏 Thank you for all you are doing 🙏

Each time I hear you you open another door for my journey to healing. Thanking you just isn't enough.

You're so right about neglect. I was living like that and is something I cannot verbalize. I thaught it was because of early sexual abuse that I could not adress the neglect I was into.

Finally. Found someone on the same page and insight . I had delivered a testimonial outlined in an observation of someone traumatize. Sorrowfully disregarded by psychologists at the start of a complex trauma related incident . In confidence I am grateful that impacts are progressing upward for the healing of many in regards to dr. Jacob Ham insightful gift . God bless human being . Praise God that this humbling effects are directing us all toward clearer path in valuing one another.

Wow, in one word ‘Neglect’ you validated my whole life. Thank you Dr. Ham!!

I'm sure I'm not the only person who benefits from this helpful information and explanation 🎉 thank you so much!❤

Dr. Ham, what you said really touches my heart. I don't know why, but I will think about it in my life.

So glad to learn of you from Stephanie Foo's book. Thank you so much for making your knowledge accessible to us. It is very kind and generous of you and I am very grateful to be able to hear what you have to say on matters concerning mental health and in particular complex ptsd. What a valuable gift to humanity! I think compassion and self compassion are among the many ingredients to the trauma healing recipe so I am turning my attention to the works of Kristin Neff (PhD) and Rick Hanson (PhD). Rick Hanson is the President and Founder of the Global Compassion Coalition -- so needed in our world today in my view. Thank you again for this talk I find so useful.

its a relief to know some people are still capable of caring about others deeply~

You sure did resonate. I have been watching Sadhguru videos, and he says similar things about the heart and wavelengths of feelings with others. This and your other videos about avoidance and anxious attachment seem to be helping my boyfriend and myself. He is anxious and so jealous and gets angry, while I am afraid and want to run away. Now, I realize when he is angry or says he can't trust me, it's not because he doesn't love me, which is what I had thought, but exactly the opposite. He loves me so much that he is afraid I will break his heart and he is so scared of that because of his attachment trauma. So, I broke up with him before, because I thought he was just being selfish, but now I got back together and we are having good conversations because I know that sometimes he is the angry person "at the door" trying to protect the "hurting little child inside the room". That metaphor was so powerful. Now, when he gets mad or starts to criticize me, I see him as this guy trying to protect the child inside, and I reach out to him to show him I love him, and I makes him so much happier and easier to be with. Thank you so much!!

Super appreciate highlighting research proving things like the consequences being visited to the third and fourth generation. And that this can heal and takes compassion and attuned other.

wow! I love the way you work and the way you are. ❤❤❤ Thanks so much to both of you.

definitely was useful for this one person here 😁 who's with me? i love your channel, so glad I've stumbled upon it. the way you explain attachments is so helpful!!!!

Amazing retreat!this program is like no other!it treats the core of trauma, unlike most therapeutic healing where they focus on depression and anxiety....it was an amazing experience.. Thanks everyone at fresh start

So useful. Thank you 🙏🏾🌻

Jacob please keep up content you have such incredible insight and communicate in such a passive and calm manner that those most in need and activated might be able to remain present to receive this insight. Amazing work.

Your videos have changed my life …. Thankyou

this conversation is beautiful! thank you!

Thank you . 42 years - living with trauma on a daily basis. Would not wish it upon anyone.

fantastic conversation, the rabbi did a wonderful job of asking just the right questions and framing things so well, very helpful!

That you for sharing this seeing with everyone, it's an act of love with no personal interests, so important to hear to be aware of how our brain works, awareness is the healing for the surviving part in us ❤️ the suffering is a call from the trauma to be recognized and to be seen 💫

This was in incredibly eye opening and cathartic for me thank you! Especially that we’re 6 months into a genocide in occupied Palestine with so much silence! Which one of you is now responsible for paying for me to the trauma centre formerly mentioned. lol 😅I recently found out that I can’t do anything but protect myself right now, officially jobless with ZERO tolerance for bullies or the ignorant/willingly ignorant… 😭😭😭

Dr Ham you are a genius! I love you so much!! 💕

Very interesting and enlightening! Thanks!!

27:00 - I am the child I am the adult. 29:50 - Trauma is Universal. Short Answer - 31:32 The longer answer (focus on mech.) - 32:00

Hi Jacob, thank you so much for this episode and I look forward to the next one. I work with children and families with Attachment being the bedrock of our work. I love how you speak about 'presence' being the opposite of trauma. At the end of the session, I too wanted to go for a walk and mull over all the things you shared... You sound like one of my lecturer who taught us Therapeutic Child Care at University 22 years ago... thanks again x

I totally recognized myself, although always I believed that 😂 trauma is something that happened to “poor them” who lived through some terrible childhood experiences. And I am just a future teacher who is watching the video for my assignment. But 🙏 thank you for sharing your expertise through experience. 😢😊 such a profound thing what you both just told me. Thank you

Thank you for sharing this information about how to approach ourselves and our trauma. This helps me. Thank you 🙏 ❤

I wish everyone would have this information about trauma. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and experience! I´m in the middle of resolving some inner conflicts today and the information about the brain and the trump card of the survival parts gave me a lot of clarity. Thank´s again! 💗

The best interview I have ever heard. Hands down

Thank you so much ❤️

This was GREAT! Thank you both.

Would love to see more of you on podcasts :) totally refreshing

I am so happy you are doing this work.

Awesome work Jacob looking forward to more episodes! Cheers!

Thank your Truama, becuase after all it is here to protect you.

Thank you for your contribution to our field

This was actually life changing for me thank you so much Jacob! Keep doing what Ur doing

Thank you very much 🙏. Powerful message.

Wonderful conversation! Please share more.

Thank you for uploading this ❣️

Hello< i really like your content. I would really appreciate it if you posted some more

Wow. I just stumbled upon your video on survival and trauma brain. I have had cptsd since a kid. Your explanation for kids with trauma is on the dot. Thank you!

So meaningful....so beautiful...speaks to one's long lost soul.

Thank you. This helps a lot. I am grateful for the information. We all need help.

Dr. Jacob Ham has a lovely smile.

Thank you for this insight! It was timely!

BEAUTIFUL DONE.thank you

Thank you!

I'm so glad to find your channel.

Thank you.

I love this Rabbi. I wish he was my Rabbi.

I’m really glad that you’re going into schools. Really important changes in schools moving from time out to chill out. I trained in the “old days” of time out and I instinctively really disliked it. Getting a dialogue going was almost impossible. It became about me! Dr Jacob you have such a lovely calm presence I imagine that your way is so helpful in inviting staff to think differently. Also Dr Ross Greene his website Lives in the Balance and his book The Explosive Child. Really helpful too for idea that kids have not yet developed the particular skill. Only found your videos yesterday! So helpful.

Thank you ❤

I have this realizazation as well. I realize I am not being present most of the times,as I dissociate much. looking to find ways to ground myself

Amazing video --- thank you 🙏🏻

This was useful to at least one person.

This theory is amazing and I feel like I'm ready to grab onto it after years of therapy I've never felt like I was getting well! Thank you

thank you very much! this is such a wonderful information and so well done talk by both of you...

so moving so true m Understanding my own trauma responses better an dhonour myself

Would love to hear a conversation / podcast with you and Dick Schwartz / Internal Family Systems. I'll watch to see if the magic happens. thank you for posting new material... : )

Jacob, what you are saying is very familiar to me. What I think is not only to feel the child in my when is sad and I need to give him a hugs, but I want to be the child. I want go in to the child to the inside - be the child and go out. Is like have a dreams knowing that it is a dream...

Hi Doc. I am just wondering about how to work with people with deep disassociation that cannot remember. Also the people that trigger with the flight/ shut down response instead of the fight response. Or even the ones that are avoidant due to fear of conflict. Would love a video on these opposite styles.

❤thank you for this❤ Maybe most can open to a different perspective so authentic healing can begin❤

If you are still in the process of writing your book, then may I ask you please to include as much as you can on how people may help themselves. Also that the book is available in the UK and Europe. Many people cannot afford to see a private Therapist and certainly in the UK, the available support is mainly crisis interventions than longer term resolutions and solutions.

Such a soothing voice. Thanks Jacob 👍🙏 What I struggle with is, despite being trauma aware, finding the courage to face it. In the past I have, to a degree, inadvertently made progress through some of my traumas, but there is much still to sort and I find I do not have the energy to go there.

Wow! So happy i found this video. How do i shut that critical voice inside my head that is playing all day long???? Please help.

Curious to hear reflections on growing up with core parts of your identity not being recognized. It seems somewhat related to some form of neglect. For example, children who belong to a marginalized group being raised by people from a dominant group. Not only are you not being taught conceptual understandings of yourself, but others around you do not have those concepts to recognize you fully.

Hi Jacob, I'm so glad I stumbled upon your videos on KZfaq. Nothing anyone told me in the 20+ years of talking therapies have remotely resonated as much as your talks have done. I feel like I'm finally starting to see the insidious web my childhood trauma has woven in and around my life, and I don't know how to untangle it and cut away the sticky threads. I wish I can go to your retreat, but I'm in Australia. I'm struggling to find someone who is adequately qualified, and more importantly, suited to treat me. Do you have any practitioners you can recommend in Melbourne or Australia, or can you tell me a bit more about what to look for in a trauma therapist who practices in similar techniques as you? Often my therapy sessions leave me feeling more misunderstood and neglected than when I went in, so I have learned to be very picky and reserved about who to trust my inner child with. Thank you 🌷

Would like more info on boredom. Thanks! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

at least one person - at least this person :)

How do I go about acquiring your professional services, Dr.? Also, you spoke of some sort of retreat for individuals suffering from CPTSD? Please advise, as I am in dire need of such services!

IFS is probably helpful for what is being discussed here.

I am glad you elaborated that you only remembered the criteria and not the DSM5-TR in its entirety... Because that's just not possible unless you're the rain man. lol

I'm at 22:22 and wondering at what point we're going to go ahead and stop Reinventing the Dick Schwartz wheel and correctly attribute this model to IFS?? Especially since it comes with well established scripts for how to talk your way past the firefighter to the child, for the amateur who wants to approach this successfully.

I think you have expressed this before, but I am curious. Why are people with avoidant attachments critical of others and themselves?

Where did you attend grad school?

I had a therapist tell me I was boring him, therefore I wasn't telling him the truth. I insisted I was. He doubled down. I never went back to him. I was a wreck the way he talked to me.

All these other wars etc over the past 100 years.....

Trauma is withdrawal into a lucid state of the reptile brain resolve, in a land far,far away, where dragons (mesazoic reality) exist where species survival supercedes reason and rational presence. That is why you hear some people say I was afraid for my life in a non threatening situation or claiming to see images of a black man attacking them, who was never there.

as i was also protect my soul some persons in my enviorment saw this and attack me to damage me.. and i began to die and i twas torture.. and i was being attack about my soul and for monsters to damage me. i had to try to contact FBI in terrist abuse in all parts for murder and my family did not seem to have any sense of danger or murder.. now im a lost person. so if drs at mt sinai do not respect this and siting infront of dr and social workes they have to be educated to what i did not and failed me. what you need to do is reeducate drs to have sense.. and not what time the lunch bell is.. any person not only dr should have seen iw as digress toferal could not string words or speak and aws fearful of people and in danger and to wounded to protect my soul or life from agressive head hunters terroerizing me but gave me cancer care lightly. i was a brigh light a second chance and there need more respect to people for this is basic shit a kid can understand. as lady gaga is trying to educate kids about this. she failed to hear a person cry .. also..

The reverse of trauma is PRESENTS!!

17:21:00 70% of out interactions are not with the people in front of us! Wow 😯 wow???!!!

9:21:00

Seems like you're going about it a little backwards. I don't think the amount of traumatic experiences impacts long term regulation. I think it's the limited amount of trusted adults in today's youth's daily lives. Each adult has a different type of coping technique. Imagine each personality type as a type of tool; hammer, nail, staple gun, chalking gun, ext. (It's not perfect but think Bob the builder) Image a driver and a screw are raising a nail... That nail is gonna have a really tough time if they're not lucky enough to meet a hammer or a nail gun who knows the techniques that gives the nail value. I've heard it said trauma is the event that happened to you. It's the loneliness experience before, during and after that dictates rather the event is written in sand or chiseled in stone. This supports that saying in concrete and tangible ways. Thank you 😊

I do3 know about U all.. But this is depressing...Also therapy is expensive. Trying to facilitate healing is hard as well.

Jacob, you should read about recipients of organs who start taking on the feelings and behaviors of the donor of the organ!!! All of that have been documented!!! The donor and recipient aren’t even biologically related as the holocaust survivors and their descendants. The donor could be of a completely different race living in another country and culture, and the recipient still feels and has the same cravings and desires of the donor! Behaviors and attitudes are absolutely passed on and down - humans are susceptible to many things we like to be in denial about. 99% of Our society prefers to live and die in the dark rather than be exposed to the light.

Dr ham. its sad that your drs in Mt sinai do not know anything about trauma. dont know you when i mention you. Im speaking of a person who for 11 years was tortured. and myself had sense of god and common sense and had to after drs not care about trauma to keep people sick and traumatized and i escape them. treated my own and walked out of 11 year of being disabled by abusive drs who dont kno whow to practice medicine did not mention trauma or reality of what was going on and keep someone in trauma where the preson is abused and kept down unti they die are murder turn to drugs or violence or escape and rise over it. that is unfair for something dogs rescued off street have people who know them and dont have to pay mililions of dollars. please start with your hospitals on this. Trauma inform , and help patients or persons get care beffore they progress to cancer mental illlness, abuse, vulnerable exploitable adults. my cancer care drs in oncology mt sinai do not know this. that your a dr in mt sinai and are not to up on getting me an appointment to tell someone what lead for me to be attack abused and left to suffer cancer out of th torture induce on me. i lost 24 years of perfect life. i come from Munchuasen by proxy family who were so determine to keep and make me sick at same time came after my jobs when i began to escape them and succeed. my family needs help to identify what is wrong with htem instead of my sister telling them being sick and making others sick is ok and just become your fuck up self .. and lead others to death. i cut them off because i knew what sick and well was and was tortured for it but i won. so i was done in i was induce a trauma by a seuxal insult a bomb induce on me and then i was insulted and left with brain damage to make me unable to this time im not go escape game and fuck me up so bad i can not survive. THe system you have in hospitla is making people sick leavin g them sick and making money. being naive dumb and abuse the person who is more educated more succesful but i became to daamge wihtout one dr asking why. how his this person become this person from what happen and not even care. the medical profession is leaving to many people to become feeding trees to feed thier kids. my understading of my brain and lif ewas perfect then i was hit in my brain to induce dissociation. dissociation which lead to fuck up twisted wires and thinking where healing and time to heal and remove from enviorment was needed. i did not get that and was left so iw as asssaulted over and over by same kind of sick people who have not faced themself and are seeking souls of others to feed off of rape abuse rob . i was a perfect and succesful artistic mind talent rising out of a miracle to be alive and happy. not one dr respected this making me fearful to go to drs. now im seeing the cancer care is so lax. robotozed and that someone go to treat me for a sickness to come from traumatized life and left being failed and keep me failed but put drugs in me bugt not remove me . its like keeping people in the love canal and keep pump them full of cancer care and not consider whats going on then there is this psycnopath sister who is seeking to look like the smart one in family who need to be criminally charged and her enablers. to want others information and to over power others in some bi polar. my story has become a horror story. please please inform your hospital of your presence and to teach drs about trauma. or at least who you are if someone is in need of ptsd concerns. i lost my life.. i held on for longer than anyone i can imagine in torture and abuse and retraumatized a 24 year process of healing . my family are feed themself quatlity care while intentional abuse and fail me. to punish someone wounded and rape by punks to damage me to have confused society kill me. please tell Mt sinai who you are.

There is no such thing as little or small trauma.

He really had to translate Ham. Jan is not good at saying what he means, even if he's good at therapy.