What Really Helps Trauma? | Dr. Jacob Ham, Being Well Podcast (Cross-Post)

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Jacob Ham

Jacob Ham

Күн бұрын

Here is a really enjoyable discussion I had with Forrest Hanson on his Being Well Podcast, which he has allowed me to cross-post on my channel. Below is the description he entered into the original posting.
In one of the most interesting conversations we've had on the podcast, I'm joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Jacob Ham to explore what really helps people work with - and be with - trauma.
We began with Dr. Ham's background and what drew him to trauma work before I ask him how he "conceptualizes" different kinds of traumatic experiences. Dr. Ham responded to this question in a way I didn't expect, that broke the pattern of a typical podcast conversation, and took us in a much more interesting direction. We talked about cultivating a felt sense of connection, empathy as a way in to relationship, and the value of anger. Dr. Ham shared about his own process taking risks as a clinician, using parts work, moving away from the "false idol" of cognizing, and finding a unique way in for each individual.
About our Guest: Dr. Jacob Ham is a clinical psychologist, Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Mount Sinai, and the Director of the Center for Complex Trauma. He was the therapist former podcast guest Stephanie Foo wrote about in her wonderful book What My Bones Know.
Key Topics:
0:00 Introduction
2:30 Jacob’s background
5:20 A felt sense of connection vs. the "false idol" of cognizing
11:50 A monastic, medical, and artistic approach
14:25 Knowing our intentions, and feeling others’ pain as a therapist
18:05 Surrendering to overwhelming grief
22:50 Love, vulnerability, and authenticity
29:35 The value of anger, the energy it demands, and navigating it with humility
36:25 Presence, and taking risks as a clinician
42:20 How Jacob does parts work, and finding what works with each individual
48:15 Staring at the finger that’s pointing at the moon
51:30 Does a good therapist need to have experienced trauma?
55:00 Honoring our inner protectors, surrendering to pain, and knowing it won’t last forever
59:10 Shaping others’ ability to help you, and processing trauma without professional help
1:03:15 Tipping points and surrender
1:07:25 Recap
Subscribe to Being Well on:
Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/5d87ZU1...
Who Am I: I'm Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (apple.co/38ufGG0). I'm making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth.
You can follow me here:
🎤 apple.co/38ufGG0
🌍 www.forresthanson.com
📸 / f.hanson

Пікірлер: 59
@annetteprice
@annetteprice 8 ай бұрын
I wish there were more therapists like Dr. Jacob Ham in the world. He is incredibly gifted.
@GoodPennyYHWHsaves
@GoodPennyYHWHsaves 7 күн бұрын
Right? I want to talk to him so much........
@danab3591
@danab3591 8 ай бұрын
Dr. Ham, everytime I listen to an interview with you, I understand more what it looks like to be connected to another person while exploring trauma. I have a wonderful therapist, but I have struggled with how to process things togther with her. I've been talking at her, not with her. Just watching you is showing me how to slow down and see what comes up authentically, and that is such a gift. Thank you. ❤
@JacobHamPhD
@JacobHamPhD 6 ай бұрын
Yes! This is the way.
@dreadlockbanana
@dreadlockbanana 7 ай бұрын
Holy shit this dude is onto it. IMO, the best way to be a good therapist is to get good therapy. Trauma is not some "issue to solve." It is just a part of us that we can change our relationship to so that we can change how we relate to the world.
@robynparkinson9347
@robynparkinson9347 8 ай бұрын
Jacob and Rick must be two of the most humble giants I've ever seen. Please do bring them together, Forrest! And thank you for being willing to lay aside the interviewer ego so that through you we get some of the experience of going in the room with Dr Ham. Thank you
@erikavaleries
@erikavaleries 8 ай бұрын
I loved reading about your work on CPTSD in Stephanie Foo’s book, Dr. Ham!!
@dianeclayton4936
@dianeclayton4936 8 ай бұрын
This feels beautifully human. Thank you both. This interview pulled me in. I felt my body listening. It's like tasting a feast I've hungered for forever.
@santisanti8386
@santisanti8386 5 ай бұрын
"I felt my body listening" - beautifully put and so accurate, felt the same but couldn't express it the way you did. This was the best interview/session I have ever witnessed. I think anybody who watched and listened feels a little bit more hopeful and a bit healthier. I'm so grateful to Stephanie Foo for introducing us to Dr. Ham.
@autumnleekoomen
@autumnleekoomen 5 ай бұрын
Dr. Ham, you are a gift to us. Your honesty, your presence, you altruistic kindness is visceral. Blessings to you. THANK YOU!
@ForrestHanson
@ForrestHanson 8 ай бұрын
Loved doing this with you Jacob!
@RavenStealstheNight
@RavenStealstheNight 8 ай бұрын
Listening to this conversation is so confirming for me. As an HSP, I feel things immensely. From my experiences in therapy, I'm often left feeling let down and further traumatised. I love when the Dr. talked about rituals. I agree that in humanity, we have lost this ability to sit and be present on the journey of another person's pain. Too many times, we feel so alone. Mainstream therapy is so cold and is compartmentalised, as if therapists remain isolated and cannot allow contamination from the client. So many therapists are truly afraid to do the deep dive and to be fully present in another's pain. Its almost as if clients have leprosy and God forbid the therapists get too close and be consumed. I dont think many therapist's want to even do this. At the end of the day, so many of us traumatised people have been experiencing things way out of our abilities, understanding and we continue to survive through life STILL not knowing. All we ever needed was for someone to see, bear witness and to confirm our pain and humanity. Most therapists I have had, don't even want to go there. And so I continue to carry this spikey ball of pain through each and every year I breathe. Remaining the same. 😑
@kristinabarker5470
@kristinabarker5470 5 ай бұрын
I just love Dr. Ham so much... He just brings me genuine joy by being himself. He helps me by being himself. ❤❤❤
@jann9507
@jann9507 7 ай бұрын
Loved the talk; Thanks much for hosting this. Appreciated Forrest giving Dr Ham speak through tough topics without interruption. Loved Dr. Ham walking through the topic and help understand how Trauma affects individuals.
@michelleblaisdell1649
@michelleblaisdell1649 6 ай бұрын
I would be so blessed to ever have an opportunity to have a session with (if not him) someone as extremely profound and in tune as Jacob Ham. I really hope that he does write a book.. Even though what he is, I feel can’t be taught. It should still be shared to as many as are willing to absorb it. I could (and have) listen(ed) to hours of his content. Everyone’s story is unique and everyone deserves to be heard. Without even meeting, I feel like Jacob understands mine.
@suzannawylie8684
@suzannawylie8684 Ай бұрын
I'm so grateful to have come across this person, at a time when I'm really trying to get to grips with a whole heap of accumulated trauma. His compassionate approach has made me realise what I most need is not to intellectually search for some master key to understand all my obstacles and behaviours, but recognition and compassion. Thank you!
@JacobHamPhD
@JacobHamPhD Ай бұрын
Exactly! I hope you reach the same conclusion from the book I’m working on and feel like you’re closer and closer to this recognition and compassion
@suzannawylie8684
@suzannawylie8684 Ай бұрын
@@JacobHamPhD I will look forward to reading it! I'm sure it will be an invaluable resource. And I'll also be taking up a notebook and writing my stories at the same time. I've come to see all the trauma not as something to be tucked away and hidden or solved and got over, but something that needs air and that can be harnessed in beautiful ways. I really connected with what you say about art and creativity too. Thank you for replying and happy writing!
@mylittleocchio
@mylittleocchio Ай бұрын
Thanks for bring art to science and thanks for sharing your work. Huge impact and very validating as I move through my healing journey. Love and health to you and yours.
@TranscendingTrauma
@TranscendingTrauma Ай бұрын
What he really talks about is being a compassionate witness. When I first shared my pain from being raped with my therapist, she sat there in different. I felt so unseen lost I think it retraumatized me to finally feel vulnerable enough to share, and to be left hanging with no compassion. I think the guy from IFS talks about that as well like where therapists are trained to be this blank slate when in reality what trauma survivors need is a compassionate witness, like this man.
@user-nq8ho9vq1i
@user-nq8ho9vq1i 8 ай бұрын
Where do I find my own group of friends like Dr Ham? I’m down for everything just need people like this for pizza night :)
@lizafield9002
@lizafield9002 5 ай бұрын
Well said. I will bring the cole slaw & pitcher of tea.
@karinturkington2455
@karinturkington2455 Ай бұрын
This was a beautiful discussion.
@dcb252525
@dcb252525 5 ай бұрын
Beautiful conversation!
@HemiBrat
@HemiBrat 8 ай бұрын
What I wouldn't do to offer my Brain & experiences up to science @Dr.Ham 🎉❤😊
@CanadianBear47
@CanadianBear47 6 ай бұрын
i just watch this interview and honestly u are one of the few that are able to hold our pain. thank u and u are far and few between. and gets it. of i dont need resource or bounderies or stuff i need u to be present and there. and authentic. not some training bs.
@kayneich9573
@kayneich9573 7 ай бұрын
Such accessible thoughts on clinging! And process superceding the more explicit. Thank you!
@kayneich9573
@kayneich9573 7 ай бұрын
... my clumsy wording, but hope gist gets through.
@leslielonergan-oq5jh
@leslielonergan-oq5jh 3 ай бұрын
Love this one!! Tyvm ❤
@jennw6809
@jennw6809 8 ай бұрын
This is my second time watching this through and taking notes. And it certainly won't be the last.
@ritacoinu7374
@ritacoinu7374 8 ай бұрын
Thank you for your video. I think I need to listen to it again and again to get better the meaning of what you all have said.
@user-zo7hg5rn9b
@user-zo7hg5rn9b 3 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this
@timlin6431
@timlin6431 7 ай бұрын
I tend to be super striving, like what steps 1-3 i need to do. This video taught me to experience the process and surrender more. It feels more freeing. Such a superb exchange!
@wildoceanappaloosawomangay2535
@wildoceanappaloosawomangay2535 2 ай бұрын
Dr. Ham is so introspective and kind I have a sweet therapist like him and who is vegan like me so he understands my dark pain over the millions of animals daily tortured every day 😞💚🙏 And his glasses are so shiny and clear; I can’t keep mine clear.
@wildoceanappaloosawomangay2535
@wildoceanappaloosawomangay2535 2 ай бұрын
I am listening to Stephanie’s audiobook and in it she shares the audio of some of the snippets from her sessions with Dr. Ham. He’s kind but not passive, he digs in 🙏
@derekxiaoEvanescentBliss
@derekxiaoEvanescentBliss 8 ай бұрын
Ohhh I would love if you posted a video on the relationship between presence/awareness and goal oriented behavior.
@soulcakeshop
@soulcakeshop 8 ай бұрын
Your work is so inspiring and healing. Please write a book or post more videos
@eqapo
@eqapo 3 ай бұрын
I remember encountering the word "reification" in high school and it took me more than a decade to truly have a grasp of that in a lived sense. Jacob's frustration really gives credibility and honesty to his practice and avoiding the all-too intellectual seduction of western culture. I wonder how Jacob would teach or explain what it is to "reify" to young people, and hey why not throw in "phenomenology" as well.
@kalosevillinas
@kalosevillinas 4 ай бұрын
Wow all this sounds great. How muxh for his therapy? Yes, my trauma is showing. The priveledge are the only ones that can afford this type of therapy. The rest of us have to navigate around self help books and or cookie cutter therapist of whom Dr. Ham states does not work.
@Alexsomething27
@Alexsomething27 7 ай бұрын
The Schiele book behind you! How appropriate.
@grassgrees6728
@grassgrees6728 2 ай бұрын
i love Dr Jacob.. as a cis gay man and human.. going to ur therapy sessions (even if im in indonesia right now)... is one of my delusional fantasies haha. thank you for being human, dr Jacob
@WisdomStreetAU
@WisdomStreetAU 8 ай бұрын
Wow! Authenticity at its finest... Thank you all the way from from Adelaide, Australia. 🦘
@Illuminatelove36
@Illuminatelove36 5 ай бұрын
❤THANK YOU❤ SO GRATEFUL to finally and authentically heal Traumas. For it is Not something that should be classified, labled,diagnosed, pushed aside, medicated, discarded, ignored , silenced , nor disrespected❤ GRATEFUL 2 FINALLY learn how to heal authentically 1 loss,1 heartbreak, 1 hurt at a time.
@KD-zc7rv
@KD-zc7rv 8 ай бұрын
This deeply touched my soul. I have just shared it with all my friends, Dr Ham, please keep sharing your gift with the world
@SA-ww1ge
@SA-ww1ge 6 ай бұрын
A healthy attached person can be human w another. He knows differentiation, Our potential. Attachment trauma hijacks
@micheleparadis2808
@micheleparadis2808 8 ай бұрын
19:30 thank you 🙏♥
@emmamckenzie3987
@emmamckenzie3987 7 ай бұрын
@karenconstantine334
@karenconstantine334 Ай бұрын
Is EMDR help to start healing from complex ptsd. Or is talk therapy best.. is online help as effective as in person. Thank you Karen
@CallieCatCuddles
@CallieCatCuddles 3 ай бұрын
What is pengulita?
@elainehiggins713
@elainehiggins713 4 ай бұрын
The US won’t leave Seoul? What is his point there?
@JessicaHernandez-ui7jl
@JessicaHernandez-ui7jl 8 ай бұрын
😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
@kathykay9920
@kathykay9920 Ай бұрын
Im not sure I follow exactly what his therapy approach is. Love Stephanies book though
@amac2573
@amac2573 8 ай бұрын
I started writing a comment but it turned into an unconstructive soap box rant. Not because I didn't enjoy listening and find the podcast interesting...more to do with conveyor belt medicine and wishing that a lot of Therapists would realise things like "closure" or more one person's concept misaligned to the experiences and reality of another person living or having living through particular events or situations. Just put my foot through the soap box!
@cedarmcdaniels1538
@cedarmcdaniels1538 4 ай бұрын
hopefully no one asked this but what type of monk were you going to be....christian or buddhist
@llkellenba
@llkellenba 7 ай бұрын
We need to clone this trauma therapist…
@oober3690
@oober3690 Ай бұрын
I found Ham infuriating at times. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Or is it? 🤔
@user-jc8py7dw7r
@user-jc8py7dw7r 5 ай бұрын
Really disliked this interviewer. He seemed shallow, super smarmy, and just had to announce that he had a zero ACES score. Thanks, dude, you made me feel so great about myself. 🙄
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